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Adam pushed and pulled and Rao just kept pushing himself into Adam’s hands, melding into the cracks in his skin, in his heart, in the hole he left in Adam’s soul when he died. Rao slid right back into place like he’d never even been gone.
it hurt like nothing else Adam had ever felt, It was perfect. He still couldn’t convince himself that Rao was here so his hands gripped and held every inch of the dead man walking that he could. Rao would never leave his sight again.
Rao’s lips on his, the heat of Rao’s skin was demolishing the carefully built and even more carefully fortified walls he’d established between him and the memory of Rao, demolishing him. He always hid behind the thin veil of work, of staying professional. Despite glances, or words shared, or drunken nights over decks of diligently cut playing cards. He felt every poorly placed excuse vanish as he soaked up every drop of Rao, while he had him.
“This place looks ghastly, love.” Rao’s voice was dripping with that sweet affection that Adam hated himself a little extra for missing.
“Probably because I’ve fucking lost it.” Adam mused still feeling tingly all over.
“Do I need to go get the neighbors to verify for you? I mean really how long are you going to keep this up before you accept that I’m really—“
“Shut up.” Adam gripped the collar of Rao’s shirt and smashed their lips together again.
“Well, you could’ve just asked.” Rao chuckled against his skin and for some reason, that was all the proof he needed.
“How are you even here?” Adam still saw Rao every time he closed his eyes, in the split second of darkness when he blinked, Rao was always there, Prophet filling up every inch of him.
“Well…I think Prophet searches to fill that hole in everyone’s heart, whatever it may be. And it was right pissed that no matter what it did, it couldn't figure you out.”
“You had that in common,” Adam hummed, amused. Rao felt his eye twitch, Adam was just as Adam as always. They’d just kissed, twice and Adam was still just Adam.
Rao wouldn’t have had it any other way.
“So when I…in the facility,” Rao waved his hand in a flourish of dismissal, “It felt whatever you felt, what I was feeling. And…poof.”
“Poof?” Adam had the gall to sound unamused.
“Listen there’s no way to exactly truth run this alright? All I could figure out was that between the two of us…I got another chance.”
“Do you think it could have something to do with your memory?”
“It definitely does. Or I wouldn’t be all in one piece.” Rao shrugged. “I’m made of our memories, but i'm still…just, me.” Rao shrugged.
“I don’t care what you're made of,” Adam’s brow furrowed, he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Rao once since he came in the door, “I care that you’re here.
Rao grinned, and just like that, Adam couldn’t remember what had mattered to him before he’d set eyes on Rao.
—
They spent the first half of the night cleaning Adam’s apartment, and then an intermittent period of Rao demanding that Adam shave. Half the time, Adam felt too ashamed to speak, the other half, he was forced to speak up because Rao was grilling him about everything he’d missed in the last year. His new job (Rao was not pleased he was wrapped up with Prophet, still, or with the stupid supernatural unit) Hunter, his eating habits. If it had been something that even crossed Adam’s mind for a minute, since Rao had been gone, Rao was demanding to know about it now.
Then they ordered from the nearest Chinese food place, and Rao had his feet tucked beneath Adam’s thighs as they sat on the couch (much closer than Adam would have ever allowed before) with the TV on low while Rao ate lo mein and gave Adam stink eye until he ate some of his fried rice.
“Feel familiar, huh?” Rao asked, poking at the noodles in his to-go box.
“Kind of.” Adam shrugged one shoulder. Maybe it was their shoes, side by side at the door. Or the warmth of Rao’s socks, or the groceries in the fridge, or the duffle bag that Rao had brought in from the car that he’d put on Adam’s bed ‘to be dealt with later’ maybe it was the fact that Rao had never seemed so at ease. But nothing felt the same as it had. And that was okay. Rao was here, and they were okay.
“Only kind of?” Rao scoffed. He was eating like he hadn’t had a crumb of anything in days. Adam hated to think that could have been the truth.
“We aren’t going anywhere, we don’t have to go anywhere. There’s a shopping list on the fridge and it’s warm for the first time in months.” Adam pushed his rice around some more. “Everything is different.”
“We?” Rao inquired, it was careful, barely a question worthy of an answer. But Rao was nothing if not always searching for answers.
“Yes, we, dumbass.” Adam scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You think I let you clean my apartment, and write a grocery list just to make you pack up and take a hike at first light?”
Rao shrugged one shoulder, still watching Adam, “maybe.”
“Yes, we. Idiot.” Adam murmured, feeling the beaming smile radiating off of Rao.
“I missed you.” He whispered. Adam turned to meet his eyes, creeping even further into Rao’s space.
“I don’t think I have to say it,” Adam said.
“I still think you should say it,” Rao huffed, setting down his noodles in favor of wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck.
“I missed you, Rao,” Adam said, caging Rao in with his forearms pressed into the couch on either side of Rao’s face. “Every day.”
“God who knew my Adam was such a sap?” Rao smirked and Adam rolled his eyes with a huff, before leaning in to gingerly place his lips over Rao’s, taking his time not rushing, because they didn’t have to. They had as much time as they could ever need.