Chapter Text
Bam wiggles.
She can't help herself. It doesn't hurt. Her body doesn't hurt. She feels like she's almost flying. The old foot injury that twinged in the cold (so all the time) feels very far away. The toes don't even look crooked anymore. Even breathing feels so nice.
Granted, her eyes still hurt and she's still tired, but now, she can look at the bright blue thing all around them and it doesn't hurt her neck. Is that the sky? Is that what the sky looks like?
Khun watches her fidgeting and looking around, lips turned in amusement. He had been so worried before. "Bam, if you want Lero-Ro's technique to work, you need to rest."
At once, not wanting to waste that precious gift, Bam sits back down on Rak's bulky side. "Oh. Sorry." She's not sure what Lero-ro-ssi even did, except that it was probably shinsu like the barrier and that she felt so much better than before. Something in her organs tingles, like she's touched it with her own hands many times before. "It's just, the ceiling is really fascinating. It's not the sky. is it? The sky that goes on endlessly."
It couldn't be. If it was real, they'd have to mimic the sky on every floor, or every floor would have a sky, which... how did skies exist again? It was something scientific. The science books Rachel tried to read sometimes said things that contradicted with each other.
"It's a projection," Khun says, looking at her with that odd face again. "It's supposedly based on the sky Outside but it's just made by shinsu. It's not real."
"...Oh." Bam's face falls before she can catch it. She hurries to smooth it over. Does Rachel know? That would be worse for her. She was so hopeful for the stars. Or maybe she knew already. It was.. painful to think about. Did she just not tell Bam? Probably not, they weren't going to climb together.
Rachel never planned to stay. It'd be nice to know why she came at all then.
Bam settles, twiddling her thumbs. Khun watches her. "If there is a real sky," he says after a while. "It'd be at the top. But I've never seen it and I doubt anyone else would know either."
"No, it's okay," Bam says, as a line forms across the room. She smiles. "Someone once told me about the sky. We only ever saw the cave ceiling, so I didn't really know why it was so special." She looks back at Khun. "I hope the real thing is as beautiful as this one."
"Hmm...?" Khun regards her and opens his mouth to say more when someone screams. They all look up, including many bystanders around them. "What was that?"
"Next," the bee test proctor calls as if nothing happened at all. She's smiling and from here, even Khun can tell it's ominous.
"Weak turtles," Rak scoffs and Khun would respect that if it wasn't blatantly ignoring the technique of psyching out your opponent. Everyone around them was whispering now, sharing nervous looks with each other. Bam doesn't look upset at least, at most confused. Still, now that she's not interested in the sky, she's looking at the scars on her hands and ankles, turning them and twisting and looking surprised at every bend. He almost wants to put her in a combat test, see how she moves now that it didn't hurt to walk.
How did Lero-ro do that? You used healing shinsu primarily on yourself. Doctors had to be taught about it.
Maybe it was something for higher floors.
Hmph.
The next group doesn't scream.
"Khun-ssi?" Bam flops on Rak's bulky leg, and the crocodile is now snoring. "Why do you want to climb the tower?"
Khun blinks, thrown. "Why do you ask? Will it change your opinion of me?" Surely, it was obvious from his name what he would want to do, right?
"I can't tell what he's thinking."
"It's what he does that matters."
"I don't think so," she says, voice somber, even though he'd been mostly joking. "You are, you chose me. I want to help you because you took a leap of faith so I should know what you're doing."
That was such a strange concept, helping because they're friends and asking to know so forthright, but Bam was a very strange person. Not an alien, but still very strange.
And it was asking Khun Aguero Agnis. Not just Khun.
"There's a man higher up in the tower," Khun finally says after a moment. "I want to overthrow him and rule over his empire myself."
Bam looks at him with those round and thoughtful eyes and says, genuinely. "What will you do when you rule over it?"
Not if, not how, not why, but when. As if there's no doubt that Khun can do it, that he will do it, that there's nothing someone like him cannot become.
It's a little heady of a concept. "The first thing I would do is find out what he did, and endeavor to make it the opposite."
Bam tilts her head and he realizes that-
She doesn't know. She doesn't understand. She doesn't know what Khuns are, what's so important. She doesn't know who his family is or why it matters. She just sees him and thinks oh, that's something he can do.
She trusts him wholeheartedly without that. But how did she not know? was she isolated in the tower? Somehow?
"There are fights to the death in that empire," he says. Khun's brain turns and thinks wildly, suddenly caught in what his future would be. He would simply not be ruled. That was the mantra he had made for years by now and now-
"It won't be about survival. I would start with the resources. Resources in situations like this, they're finite, you see, and it's usually fake." You fought for a scrap of power toiled and toiled and gave up pieces of yourself for someone who didn't give a shit.
Bam nods. "Like when someone holds something behind their back or where you can't see and say it isn't there, but they never tell you it is. You're just supposed to know it is and that they're lying to you."
That's horribly accurate, but it fits. Khun nods. "Yeah. It keeps people complacent to the status quo because they don't have the resources to overthrow it. but I'd learn the incentives and make them different, or simply not worth it at all."
"People like to hold power," Bam says, looking at the sky again like it holds more answers. "And when they hold that power, it's usually over others, right?"
Khun has a horrible urge to flick her on the nose like he would have Kiseia a long time ago. He resists, but barely. She's much better behaved than Kiseia. "You pick things up quickly, Bam."
To his surprise, she turns pink, like he'd said something surprising, not embarrassing.
Then someone screams again, a lot of people scream, louder and louder.
"What in the world..." Distracted, Khun checks his pocket. "More than a few minutes have passed. But the last one was shorter and there were no screams."
"Oho, I see you noticed that too!"
Khun whirls, the touch on his skin remaining an ugly feeling of murk. on his shoulders. Bam doesn't jump, but she shifts carefully, as if the feeling of pain hasn't banished the adjustment of bearing it.
The speaker... he looks like an overinflated bag, and Khun doesn't remember seeing this regular before. Maybe they were from another district or something. Why else would they be here? He doesn't think they merge districts though, not now right? "Who are you," he says, paranoia to his bones, because that's all his life has been, He can't forget this just because Bam is too innocent to be untrustworthy.
They raise their peach-pink hands, hollow eyes and mocking toothless smile. "Oh apologies, did not mean to startle you. It's just, most people, here, they're very much not thinking, or observing seriously. It can't be helped, you know. It's been a long day, but I have a hint, if you'll take a listen."
"A hint, huh?" It won't be anything that Khun likely hasn't figured out, but he probably won't leave them alone until he shows off how intelligent he is.
Admittedly, his hint could be useful The time was different, so whatever the test was, it needed to be completed quickly. But they didn't even know what the test was, so it was irrelevant.
Bam still bows her head and thanks him anyway. "He could be wrong, Bam," Khun can't help but point out.
Bam smiles, a bit embarrassed. "Maybe, but I think we can figure it out together if he's lying or not. That's what a team does." As he stares at her in incredulity, her ears turn pink again. "I, uhm, don't know if that's actually how it works. I, Rachel, she read me a lot of stories like that so..."
If it were true, Khun thinks, she'd be here and you would look happier than this.
He doesn't say that, and nudges Rak to get off of his ass.
The room feels strange. Maybe it's just the cure of knowing her body will walk and her legs won't immediately crumple, but she gets a feeling like
There's only one way forward, Reid, you understand, don't you? Please take care of Klaus for me, he'll love you too-
Looking at a battlefield you once saw teeming with life and knowing that it was gone by your hand.
It's a feeling she doesn't know, but sits in her stomach even so.
Aman in beautiful clothes sits in front of something like a standing curtain in elegant patterns, sipping a drink from a beautiful bowl, and rewarding them with gold eyes that make her think of Rachel. Still, he's smiling and Bam knows to appreciate the time a person smiles and use it against them. So she bows, even if no one else does.
The doors glow ominously around them.
Khun, for some reason, looks even more tense than usual. Why did that person's words from earlier unsettle him like that? Or maybe it was the test. He must just be worried. The screams were so loud after all. Whatever happened to those people must hurt.
The test proctor's smile, however, sends a chill up her spine. "You must open the door in five minutes, or you will die," he says and explains the rules. There aren't a lot of them.
A clock ticks overhead.
What door? she wonders. Rak rages in annoyance overhead and - did he just breathe fire? Could crocodiles breathe fire in the tower?
"Stop," she tells him, trying to sound stern. "You're not going to be able to open the door!"
Glancing at Khun, she sees him rooted to the spot. He looks haunted, like what he's thinking about, and where he is is not here, or maybe nowhere in the tower.
That ruler he'd talked about was probably important, and someone he knew personally. He wouldn't be so determined if it wasn't important to him. That was how revenge and rebellion worked in stories anyway.
But like that, he couldn't pick a door, and Rak was so worked up right now; he wouldn't be able to think about it.
Then, that meant, it was on her. She couldn't fail. She wouldn't fail. She looks around the room and walks forward a few steps. The proctor sips his drink and his eyes rest on her with that small, blank smirk. Like he knows something.
Well, it doesn't matter right now. The best way to see was like that time when she saw that green girl, that glow bright and steady. She stares at one door in particular, willing it to shine once more, just like before. No one notices, she thinks, or at least her teammates don't notice her intense concentration. An aqua-green light, just like before shines in her vision, but it shines from under the door instead. Okay, that door is fine.
She looks around. Another aqua light and another, and another. All of them, glowing the same light. Then, then was there any difference at all?
She turns to Khun and there's a little light around him, not the same intensity and it's focused on the bag, but it's because he's not using it or fighting the ... shinsu?
"Khun-ssi?" she tries, wanting to tell him. Maybe it could help. He doesn't answer, eyes darting around the room, still thinking, still unsure. She calls his name again, and he hears nothing.
He can't see it, maybe.
Okay, then Rak-ssi probably won't be able to. Why couldn't they, if they were so strong? But maybe if she asks, Rak will listen to her.
She scurries over and cautiously climbs up Rak's shoulder. He doesn't notice at first, still grumbling. So, desperately, she pokes him gently with Black March. She thinks the weapon laughs.
He grunts. "What are you doing, black turtle?"
Bam takes a deep breath and explains.
He listens. For the first time, someone with no reason to listen to her, actually listens. He watches her with those beady black eyes.
Then with a low snarl, he stomps forward, kicking a door open with his foot. This time, however, his scaly hand is on her side, keeping her on his shoulder. It's warm, like Khun's hand and gentle like Rachel's were once before.
Khun reacts to that, to the light spilling in from the open gap. And he... he doesn't snap, but he does yell, and he pins it on Rak immediately and that's ... well it was technically her idea, shouldn't she get the scolding?
But when she opens her mouth to speak, Rak's grip squeezes on her in warning. Then he meets Khun's bluster with his own annoyed roar.
"What were you going to do turtle, other than run and hide and stand there like a lemming? If you weren't going to do something, you ought to have! There were no other hints, you stupid softshell."
Did, did she make a mistake after all? She doesn't want them to fail. It's fine if she does. She has nothing to live for anyway.
Then the test proctor, Hansung, she thinks, claps, cutting through the low ringing in her ears. His amused smirk broadens as he watches them, his eyes still on her. He knows. He wasn't exactly pretending not to watch
"Congratulations. You pass."
Khun stares at him, rage and confusion and fear all over and oh, she didn't make a mistake.
She did the right thing, and Khun doesn't understand. She'd be more careful next time. She doesn't want to lose this friend either.
"You are very lucky, Khun Aguero Agnis," Hansung's first parting shot continues to ring in his ears. "You have a teammate willing to act when there are no more answers, and one who doesn't freeze in a desperate situation. Trust is a powerful thing, isn't it?"
If it weren't for his bag, Khun would go and crack the man's skull open.
Trusting your teammates? Relying on others? Ridiculous. Camilla had done that and she-
She killed herself in the end, because she'd trusted hijm, and it was wrong.
Rak is bragging the whole way down the hall. Bam, however, is strangely quiet. She's not far away from them, and she's not avoiding them, but she's skirting away, wandering to the side. She only stops to look at the darkening sky, and even that's not for long, a strange resolution in her face.
When Bam crosses into the waiting room, Rak says suddenly. "Blue turtle."
"What." Even if it had worked out, the croc nearly gave him a heart attack.
Rak grunts something about noisy turtles and their gaggling. Khun considers punching him. He has such a headache. "Black turtle figured out the test, not me."'
He pauses. "What do you mean? " Khun knows Rak is stupid. and that he would absolutely, without question do something like kick a random door in because he could, but Bam was not brave enough to encourage him to do so, surely.
Rak nods, looking down at him with those crimson eyes that suddenly seem too wise. "According to black turtle, all the doors looked the same. Perhaps you would understand that better, but to her, they all led to the same place with no exit." He makes a face. "She wouldn't have acted without my help, so do not forget it."
"Yeah yeah." Really though, what was Bam, if she could see something like that and make a move, but also be too afraid to take those risks?
Where in the tower did she come from?
Bam pauses inside and winces. It looks like whatever Lero-ro did is wearing off or... no, wait. She's shading her eyes. It's too bright maybe. She'd kept looking at the sky but the light was more natural in there. She sighs and hides her face once more.
"You all right?"
"It's too bright," she explains to Khun, not stepping away this time. "The light from the cave was a lot paler, and there wasn't much of it."
Maybe there was a floor on the tower that made places full of unusual people, raised to be monsters who couldn't see normally instead seeing shinsu. "I might have some sunglasses," he says. "Let me just run to the bathroom while we're on break and I'll check, okay?"
Bam smiles and it's not shaky this time. Apparently, despite what had happened in the earlier test was long forgiven, because she wasn't afraid at all.
Clutching his bag, Khun hurries away.
Bam sits by the wall. The darkness outside the window (she knows what this is Rachel told her about them, that people had them in buildings) looks a little inviting. It's a bit like being covered in ink and blood. the first time she had signed her own name all too familiar. She swallows and closes her eyes. Rak harumphs and settles on her other side. The room fills up more and more and yet, it feels like even less from before.
How many people try to climb the tower? How would so many people keep climbing? How many would fail? How many would be, would manage-
She cuts off that thought. It would likely happen to Rachel. She couldn't worry about it, even if she hoped it didn't happen.
Her hands don't shake. This isn't a battlefield, She has nothing to panic about.
"Hey!" calls a friendly voice. "Lucky girl!"
She looks up and meets a man's eyes. He has a kind face and a tracksuit. He looks warm, maybe not safe but warm. It was okay. She could handle talking to him, maybe.
Still, why would he talk to her? "Me?" She points at herself, wincing again.
"Yeah!" He looks perfectly at ease. "I'm Ship Leesoo, call me Shibisu. Looks like you passed."
"Ah, yes..." She swallows. "I'm Twenty-Fifth Bam, nice to meet you." Then the rest of his words click and Bam flushes, shaking her head no. "It's really only due to the strength of my teammates. They have good qualities. I'm just-" hanging on. "I'm not there yet."
He grins, completely harmless and somehow not believing, but in a nice way. "You know, it's the people who say that are the ones you should be scared of. Still, you made it here. Don't discount that."
"Thank you..."
Isu puffs out his chest and then gestures. "This is Hatz, and Anaak." Hatz nods. He's looking at her very solemnly, like she's a puzzle to unravel. Anaak says nothing. For reasons she can't understand Bam tightens her grip on black March, who doesn't react at all.
"Ah this is," She gestures to Rak, who yawns.
"Raleader," Rak grunts. "In these trying times, all should follow my guidance."
"Rak-ssi is very good at confidence," Bam agrees, nodding along. "My other teammate should be back soon."
"You have some interesting ones, huh?" Isu laughs and Bam smiles back. She looks at her knees before replying, feeling them sting.
"They're good friends," she says She feels multiple pairs of eyes on her at that comment, including one of Rak's red ones. She ignores it and continues. "I hope we can get some rest though. It's been a while."
"It's been so long!" Isu agrees. He looks relaxed again. "We're never gonna rest."
Bam smiles a bit more because it feels like they want to wear them down. Then Isu turns to her and asks. "What are you climbing for, Bam?"
She hesitates and clutches Black March a bit tighter. "I have to return something to someone. And then I'm going to find a way to live my life and be happy, no matter how long it takes."
"Do you have to climb to do that?" Isu sounds so kind. She pities him a little. She's sure that Rachel would like someone like him, who was nice and didn't ask too many weird questions.
"There's someone I don't want to see again. So I may have to in case they climb. I need ... it's a bit complicated."
He doesn't seem to understand, but his expression softens as he says. "I hope you can find the peace you're looking for."
Bam doesn't know if she believes in peace. "What about you, Isu-ssi?"
"I made an important promise too." His expression looks wistful as he looks out the window. "I can't break. I have to reach the top for them."
"I think you can do it, Isu-ssi." She remembers how he fought through the barrier until it bloodied his face, bleeding and shoving and the shinsu had parted, demanding what he would give and hoping to retrieve it.
She thinks he will climb very high on that willpower.
Isu looks at her with so much surprise and then a burst of fondness in his eyes. "You're really sweet you know!"
"She should be careful of that," Khun says dryly as he returns. "Before some actual weirdoes show up."
Bam waves at him, smiling again. Khun nods at her, settling by her side once more.
Isu laughs, like Khun is a friend and not an enemy. "I think there's worse to be than a weirdo. Nice to meet you, Bam!" He walks back off to sit down. The lizard girl yawns but Hatz keeps looking at her for a moment. Then he heads away.
"Definitely not normal," Khun mutters as Bam blinks. "Get some rest, Bam. Who knows what kind of crap they'll throw us into next?"
"You're probably right." Bam lets out a sigh of exhaustion and leans against Rak. Rak doesn't even notice. Maybe Khun-ssi is right and she's too light. "You should rest too."
"Aww," Khun says, voice teasing. "A croc and its egg."
"What was that?" Rak grunts. "I do not keep turtle hatchlings. You are my minions, remember that."
"Keep making up names why don't you?" He sounds relaxed, or at least, not as upset as before. What a relief. Maybe when he trusts her more, she can support him.
The thought would be a comfort if it was possible. It'd be nice to be... helpful for real.
Her shoes don't squelch.
The blood dries stickily in the hot sun. These old shoes have died, so she should replace them soon. She won't miss them anyway.
"What a shame, there's no one left."
The princess doesn't dance, but there's something strange about her as she fights. Ghost just moves, just obeys. But her. She takes to the battlefield and destroys everything on it.
Was that what Bam did?
Rachel dismisses the thought at once. Bam didn't like to hurt others. In fact, she didn't even try to protect herself. It was always Rachel she stepped in the way of, few as those times were. And both of them weren't strong either.
No, she probably just used others and won her way up with sympathy. Anyone would do for that. Unless that weapon lit up again.
Her fists clench. Why had it lit up for her? Why her?
"You know why things went the way they did."
Light wraps around her once again and Rachel hardens her heart. Now is the first opportunity. She couldn't waste it. She just had to rest and wait. Just for a while.
"Oh well." Endorsi Jahad goes back to examining her nails, like there's no blood on her nylons. It must be so easy. It must feel like nothing at all. they were nothing but NPCs to her, bugs, unimportant.
Rachel knows that she has to think of it the same way. There were hundreds of floors awaiting her. Killing one person didn't mean anything.
Killing Bam was only a blip on her radar.
They wash off the blood, they rest, Hansung Yu makes a promise. They rest again. Does Ghost need to rest? Who knows? He doesn't take to any of Endorsi's amused barbs of conversation, that's for sure.
And then, though it feels like forever and yet an instant, she sits behind bars in the darkness for the second time, led there by a man about as tall as Ghost. He doesn't say much, a forced smile on his face. Perhaps they were causing a problem? She remembers that expression from the bakers and the farmers and the priest.
Slowly, others appear in their cages. Rachel makes herself not watch, makes herself not look. She know who will be there. She knows who she'll see.
Her hands tremble.
Then Endorsi shifts. She scoots closer, just for a moment. Ghost doesn't even breathe, settled in place. Rachel edges way from his heaving blade.
He'd never attack her. Headon told him not to but...
Accidents could happen.
"Well," Endorsi says to herself. She's still smirking as she steps back. "That's interesting."
"What is?" Rachel dares to ask.
Rachel watches Endorsi's face shift, like a cat about to hunt."You'll know pretty soon. I see someone who could be fun to fight. Mowing down my enemies is fun and all, but I like a challenge."
Rachel nods, pulling her hood down lower. She couldn't relate to that.
Endorsi glances at her over her compact. "You really don't seem suited to the tower you know."
The words sting and she swallows, harder than she means, her nails digging into her palms. "I'm going to climb the tower," she says simply. "I don't care if I'm suited to it or not."
Endorsi regards her for a long moment, those bright but dark eyes assessing her like there's a price tag enough for her. "You'll need more than determination for that, but good luck."
Rachel says nothing. She knows the girl is talking about talent, means being lucky and capable and good, but-
She doesn't care about it.
As Lero-ro explains the rules overhead, Rachel debates her options. She can kill Bam here, but that's too soon. She can take the crown with Endorsi-ssi's help and Ghost and move forward without having to do any of what these awful people said. She would climb and find better allies, more useful ones.
But would Ghost let her?
She … she would just stay the course for now and wait for the right opportunity.
The first round starts and Rachel watches. If she wanted to, she probably could go out there and with Ghost tear through them all, but then what? It wouldn't gain anything.
So she watches a girl with green skin and a scaly tail, a swordsman, and a man in a tracksuit walk out, along with a couple other teams. They all look so much stronger than her.
That may not be a good metric. None of them are Bam. She can't imagine the kinds of monsters Bam got to ally with her.
For a moment, as the battle starts, there's nothing.
Then the lizard girl dominates the arena.
There's no other way to describe it. With her fists and feet and tail, she throws them around. Like they're nothing. She even looks bored.
Endorsi from the entrance, grins wider. "I was right," she whispers, triumph and wonder making her voice shake ."Now, just to see if..."
She trails off and Rachel looks away. She can't help it but her stomach lurches as someone cackles madly, scoring a direct to her temple.
The lizard girl simply stares at the offending fist, as if it's worse than a joke.
What would a punch on a body like that feel like? Painful? A tickle? A breeze? nothing?
Rachel hungers for it like water.
Ghost murmurs a sound like laughter.
Of course, they take the crown. The crown, the power, the glory belongs to the strong. Why can't she be that strong one? Why isn't she the one standing there with power and the crown? Why are the stars so out of reach?
Then.. the strongest one sits on the throne.
"Hah," Endorsi laughs. "She's really cocky, this one."
For a moment, Rachel doesn't understand. Why would they not put the weakest and least versatile on the throne? That's what she would do.
It's a sign of arrogance, maybe. Knock me off if you can. Absolute certainty of superiority.
What a waste.
"Can you wait?" she asks.
Endorsi laughs. "I don't need the crown at all. I want one that's more beautiful than this. One that's much higher up."
Rachel swallows. It couldn't be as high or as grand as the stars. She can't imagine they'd climb up to the top together. She can't depend on someone as strangely fickle as Endorsi.
All she can rely on is herself.
The arena falls quiet. Who could want to, or even dare to compete with a monster like that? At least not for a couple of rounds when she could be tired? Rachel sits back and waits.
The fights are close combat. In the light, it's hard to see what powers are being used, let alone the skills. Endorsi barely blinks. Ghost doesn't watch at all. Or if he does, he'd need eyes through his hood.
Then, suddenly, something flies through the air. Rachel gets to her feet and rushes to the bars. She remembers the tank, heavy with water, the weight of it on her own throat. A wicked hunger for it burns at her palms but she, but she-
"Oh, you poor thing." Pity that wasn't real, amusement a forever game. "You can't even handle something so light. Your treasure can."
Rachel squints, looking about, but that bundle of blankets wasn't Bam. It was someone entirely different, with a sure look in his eyes and some deep-set annoyance.
"Oh," Endorsi murmurs when his hit misses. "So close." The girl jumps again, and she looks so agitated, like the world has fallen off of her axis. Was someone not supposed to take the bait?
Then, she lifts her weapon. Standing on the top of the throne, weapon in hand and arrogant rage in her bones, Rachel thinks of Arlene, and her stomach fills with dread and bile.
But she swallows it as best as she can.
Something is roaring.
It's a rumble in the earth, a hunger and a bite from her organs. The shinsu shifts and whispers and everything thrums. There's a whisper.
"Maybe it's from a relic... Oh come on Jay, I told you didn't I? Where I come from, these things are- You just don't know anything about it so you're dismissing it! Fine, I'll tell Gus all about it and when the Workshop proves me right, I'll laugh at you!?
A voice, so much like her own, a voice unlike her in entirety. I(t feels warm, and sounds like home. She's dreamed of it before, sometimes, a hand on her hair, promising her something.
The home feeling turns to sharpness, aching in her skin as Black March sings through her blood. For a moment, she can see her face, beautiful and annoyed.
"Who brought one of those here?" she says absently. "I wondered what happened to her. Poor thing. Stuck with someone like that, who can't wake up anything, not even her."
"Ss... stoopp..." she manages. Vaguely, Bam can hear, feel Rak and Khun surrounding her, touching her back, worrying about her. And it feels slick gross, too close and that the air is vanishing into nothingness.
Like glass, the bars break, and she comes face to face with Anak Jahad once more. Just like before, there's no hostility. Anak just has that expectant look on her face. It's like Rachel's, when she expects to leave on time, or that Bam will fail something she worked hard for her to be proud of.
"Are you a princess then?" she says as Hatz and Isu rush to join her. Bam wonders about betrayal, about trust and hopelessly thin fraying threads. "Are you a Jahad after all?" There's something extra in that voice. "No, there's no way you could be. He'd never give you something with your strength."
Bam stares at her, baffled and shaking. Black March goes quiet, leaving peals of laughter in her wake. She doesn't make a sound, just continues to stare. She knows what's going to come out of that mouth next and she already has her answer.
"Not going to say anything?" She snorts. Then Anak's weapon extends, the point resting at Bam's neck. Khun draws his knife and Rak readies his spear. But Bam feels nothing. No fear, no anxiety. For the first time in a long time, her heart feels calm. "That's fine. Give me the Black March, and I won't kill you."
Bam slowly lifts one hand and places it on the hook. She feels the air shift, the tension change as Isu and Hatz freeze, as Khun looks at her like she's an alien. "I refuse," she says. Her heart pounds in her ears. "This belongs to Yuri-unnie," she says. "I won't give it to anyone but Yuri-unnie. She's the one who I made a promise to, and I won't betray it, even if it bothers you. Why would you deserve it?"
Her eyes darken and Bam knows. She has not met the expectation, she is not the one who is doing right, but at the same time, Bam can't help the feeling of warmth from the needle in her hands.
"You need to understand something," Anak continues. "I can just cut off your hands and take it from you. I can stab you and take it from you. I'm offering the chance to let this end peacefully."
"You're blustering about something you haven't done before." The words hit Bam like a truck, but once they're out, she can't stop. "Killing weaklings makes you weak. You don't do it, and you don't enjoy it. If, if you were going to kill me, you would do it."
Anak's widened eyes narrow into annoyance. "And here I was offering you mercy." She pulls the hook back, and lifts her weapon instead. "Mama always said "Fools who run their mouth never live long."
Khun stiffens beside her, but Bam braces herself. She can dodge to the side once and duck a second time but either of those would hit Khun and Rak-ssi. Hopefully, Anak would leave them alone.
It's not their fault she is so incompetent. She tenses on her heeled legs, crouching because, because if she tried-
Just a bit of strength, Bam thinks, in that voice that is hers and not her own, the answer forming to an unspoken question. The space was too small to get Rak-ssi without hitting anyone else, and it was likely too small for that weapon to ignite properly, unlike Black March. So even if she didn't ignite- she could get out and make it harder to aim.
Just because you could hit anywhere, didn't mean that you would.
Bm crouches a little more and for a moment, something answers her, pooling towards her skin like the droplets of the one waterfall near her cave.
Then a hand holds Anak still. "That's quite enough of that."
Lero-ro sounds bored. Not upset or disappointed, just bored. Maybe a little annoyed that his hard work had been about to be skewered (in theory, Bam is still thinking Anak wouldn't actually do it. If they didn't do it upfront or plan for it, they were never brave enough to do it. Bluster didn't work in the cave as well as a large rock.)
"You and your teammates are disqualified, Anak Jahad."
Behind them, Isu makes a noise of dismay. Bam winces and her shoulders slump.
Anak doesn't seem fazed. "Mr. Administrator?" she says, as if all he's done is delay the inevitable. "Can we make a new rule?"
Ah, Bam thinks. He has delayed the inevitable.
Her hands tighten on the needle.
"What do you think, Klaus? Look at these arms Reid made me! I can finally hold things and they don't break. Look!"
"They're beautiful Vivi. Now you can practice with us again."
Surely, Bam thinks through a heat in her throat and chest. Surely Anak has felt that helplessness before, that feeling of being uselessness. Why would she subject anyone else to it?
"I accept it," Bam says. She meets Anak's gaze without hesitation, with all the anger she can bear. "And when I win, when we win, you will owe me a favor."
Anak's smirk widens just a little. "Oh? Perhaps your friends aren't weak then."
"I know I'm weak," Bam admits without hesitation. "I have no power at all, just this weapon I'm going to return someday, but I'm not afraid of you and your weapon either. Come hunt me down if you want, come take your fill, but you'll have to kill me to take this weapon and I know you can't!"
Anak's pupils narrow and Bam straightens up. "And what makes you so sure?"
"There is always someone bigger and better than you," Bam says, an echo in her throat, a great flying ship in her mind's eye. "And Yuri-unnie is much bigger and better than you."
Carve your way through what you want, Bam thinks with resolve. I'm not rolling over and dying until that moment and I'm not going to be afraid.
Inside her body, above the top of her ribs, something beats like a heart. It pulses in time. There are words, a promise of power at the tip of her tongue. She just has to remember it.3
And something in the air answers just a little, just enough.
Anak smiles. It's more excitement than she's shown this whole conversation. "You're a cocky one. You still have to last thirty minutes remember?"
She knows. but it's possible. Suddenly, far from the things that hurt her, the cave that consumed her, Bam has a horrible, wonderful feeling, that anything is possible.