Chapter Text
When Benedict entered the room the smell of booze and vomit hit him. It was a smell he had long gotten used to after partaking in many late nights at clubs and brothels he just never thought it would be a permanent scent when it came to his younger brother’s room. Colin was never one to heavily drink but as the months grew longer of Miss Penelope Featherington's disappearance the less and less he recognized his brother. His once boyish charm he and his had loved about him was replaced with a depressed man. Annoyance grew at the pathetic mess his brother had become. Ignoring the mess of maps and papers that were spread about Benedict grabbed the wash basin that sat at his brother’s desk and walked over to his sleeping brother dumping the contents on his head.
Colin shot up in fright a yelp slipping out of his lips. Rubbing the water out of his face Colin glared at Benedict. “What the bloody hell was that for?” he roared. Benedict rolled his eyes not the least intimated by his brother’s temper.
“Get up. Mother has sent a rider requesting our presence.”
“I’m busy,” Colin replied standing up from his now-soaked bed.
“With what drinking yourself into an early grave?” Benedict scoffed. Colin ignored the comment. “Did I say a choice I mean a demand. Unless you want Mother to come down here herself and drag you by the ear by all means stay. I could use the entertainment. You have an hour,” Benedict announced walking towards the door before turning back.
“Also I’ve had a bath readied for you please take it nobody deserves to be in your presence when you smell like that,” he finished slamming the door closed.
They both decided to ride down to Number 5 which was probably for the better because the last thing Benedict needed was to deal with his hungover brother in an enclosed space. They had moved into a bachelor pad after three months of searching with no leads. His brother had refused to stay at his home on Bloomsbury stating it would stay empty till Penelope had returned to him. His mother had begged him to allow Colin to live with him so there would be someone to keep an eye on to make sure he didn’t get into too much trouble. Benedict slowed his horse allowing Colin who looked positively green to catch up with him.
“This has to stop. The drinking, the fighting. I know you’re in pain but this will not bring her back,” Benedict started. Colin refused to make eye contact as he rode silently. They have had this conversation before. It had ended in both brothers screaming at each other and not speaking for a week.
“I know. I know that if she were here, she would yell at me to stop wasting my life away. I know that Mother along with the rest of the family worry for me. I know all of this and yet I can’t seem to escape the overwhelming guilt. I let my anger and pain push away the one person who truly understood me,” Colin's voice croaked refusing to look at his brother but Benedict could tell tears were starting to fall down his face. “I broke her heart over and over till she could no longer even bear to see me. I know Anthony had his reasons for not allowing me to look for her myself but staying here I feel as though I’ve given up on her. As the months passed I can only continue to feel the overwhelming feeling of failure. I’ve failed her,”
“Brother I may not know how exactly you feel, but I do know this. You can not change the past. The hurt this pain is not a punishment but a reminder to do better. So do it. Do not wait for Penelope’s return to do so. You have made mistakes but a failure would be giving up and continuing down this path,” Benedict sighed softly. Colin nodded brushing his hand across his face and wiping the stray tears he could not fight back. The pair once again became silent as they continued down the path.
The pair had arrived at Number 5 a couple of hours after noon. Meeting the stable boy they handed the reins of their horses. “Anthony told us to meet in the drawing room,” said Benedict. “I thought you said Mother requested our presence” Colin questioned suspiciously.
“Well you would’ve put up a much bigger fight if I hadn’t,” Benedict replied sarcastically as they walked through the door. It was no secret that Penelope's departure had caused a massive rift in the family. Anthony had forbade Colin from leaving saying that doing so with no clues of where she could’ve gone would only waste time and resources. The two had fought about it for weeks only compromising on a reward for discovering the whereabouts of Penelope. The relationship had still not fully healed. Benedict knew deep down that Anthony thought of Penelope as a younger sister and was still angry at Colin’s behavior. Since then the two brothers rarely spoke only seeing one another at family dinners their mother insisted on hosting once a week. Luckily, the birth of the future Viscount Edmund Bridgerton who had been born only five months prior broke some of the tension that was thick within the house.
With Daphne and Francesa married off and Gregory still at Eton the house had grown quitter since this past year. The two men entered the drawing room where Benedict’s mother, brother, and sisters sat with tea seemingly untouched. “Hello, family to what do we owe the pleasure?” Benedict spoke brightly. His mother replied with a half smile.
“It seems we have a guest,” she replied nodding her hair over to the exoticly dressed woman that was sitting on the settee across from the family.
“What in the world is that woman in our home!” Colin shouted at no other than Cressida Cower. Well, that was the last person Benedict expected to see in their home after her actions last year.
“I would also like the answer to that,” Eloise added as well sending death glares to her former friend. If Cressida Cowper was offended, she didn’t show it.
“Colin please sit darling,” their mother begged trying to keep the room somewhat peaceful. Colin seemingly biting his tongue sat the furthest away from the woman Benedict standing by in case he needed to stop his brother from attacking a lady. He knew very little about exactly what had occurred the season prior. Only that Cressida pretended to be Lady Whistledown in order to receive the reward from the Queen which backfired when she had no proof to corroborate her claims. The 5000 pounds was still unclaimed and the Queen was slowly growing bored of her lack of gossip. Despite the fact that Cressida herself had very little to do with Penelope’s disappearance the two siblings were in agreement that Cressida wasn’t someone to be trusted around again.
“Miss. Cowper has come forward with information on Miss. Featherington’ s,” Kate answered clearly not thrilled that Miss Cowper was in her home. There was a pregnant pause. The smirk on Cressida's face never waned. Benedict watched as Eloise and Colin both froze. He swore he watched a moment of fear slip upon his sister's face.
“Is this some kind of joke?” Colin yelled jumping up from his seat. The room jumped at the sudden outburst. Benedict walked closer to his brother who looked like he was ready to pounce.
“I would never joke about a matter such as this,” Cressida scoffed in annoyance. Reaching into her pocketbook pulling out a neatly folded envelope.
“Oh, and you’ve never used or lied about Penelope to get further in society?” Eloise spat.
“Eloise,” his mother replied taken aback.
“For goodness’ sake can we please just let the woman talk before passing judgment,” Benedict replied the annoyance of the situation was even starting to affect him as well.
“Miss Cowper if you please,” Anthony said.
“Very well. As some of you may know after last season I was sent away to live with my father’s sister. She doesn’t live in the country but in Waterford in Ireland.” Cressida started. Once again Benedict had watched Eloise grow stiff. It was strange. Benedict hadn’t seen much of Eloise since last season too busy watching over Colin making sure he didn’t wind up dead in a ditch. But still, he knew Eloise better than any other of his sisters and he knew when she was hiding something.
“When walking on my weekly outing I stumbled upon Miss Featherington,” Cressida continued.
“Oh please, how can we trust a word that she says she lied about whistle down for money Who's to say that she isn't lying for the reward money?” Eloise shot back.
“I can assure you that I am not lying, Miss Bridgerton I have also come with proof,” Cressida said handing over the folded-up envelope. Colin quickly stood up and marched over to the woman working the envelope out of her hand, quickly unfolding it. In reading the contents a sliver of recognition crossed his face. For a moment, Benedict saw his brother again and it had hit him just then how much he had missed him.
“It's her.” Eloise shot up and snatched the letter out of his hand, skimming it quickly. Eloise looked up with a stare he had only seen a few times in his life. There was a look. That he thanked every day he was never on the opposite side of.
“You blackmailed her!” she screamed. Benedict raised his eyebrows. Now moving closer to Eloise who now seemed to be the one ready to jump on the blonde woman.
“You had no right.”
“I only brought this letter because I needed to provide proof and now that you have. I want my money. My business with Miss Featherington is no concern of to you. And I kept my end of the deal. I promised that Lady Featherington would not hear about Penelope's location from me. Now I would like my reward.” Cressida looked pointedly at Anthony.
“Of course, you'll get the money when Penelope is returned safely,” said Anthony. Cressida looked displeased but didn’t complain.
“Fair enough,” Cressida said before walking out before turning back to the family. “Please tell Penelope that I wish her the best I know motherhood can be quite stressful with no father around but considering single mothers run in that family it's no surprise she too has taken it up,” Cressida finished walking from the drawing room.
“Did she say, child?” Colin whispered collapsing onto the ground. Tears of joy were now tears of panic and fear. His brother's breath continued to quicken Anthony walked and kneeled down next to him offering a comforting hand on his back his mother also joining them. While it was a dreadful sight Benedict couldn’t help but look at his sister whose face was filled with guilt and unease. One would think that Miss Cowper had come back with an obituary and not with answers about her dear friend’s location and well-being.
“I left her alone. I left my poor Pen alone. I’ve failed her and I’ve failed our child,” Colin continued to sob despite the attempts of Anthony and their Mother’s comfort.
“You’ll make it right Colin. You’ll find her and bring her home,” his mother whispered softly rubbing the tears off his face.
“Who to say that was even Penelope’s writing? For all, we know Cressida could’ve hired a forger in exchange for the money,” Eloise shouted no longer in anger but in fear.
“Eloise this is the first in months we’ve gotten any clues about Penelope’s location even if the source seems untrustworthy it wouldn’t do any harm in looking,” Benedict reasoned now even more confused at his sister’s panic.
“It would be a waste of time and resources. I mean that’s why Anthony didn’t let Colin leave when she first disappeared.” Eloise defended her desperateness lacing her every word.
“Eloise, why are you so against going and at least trying? Don’t you want Penelope to come home especially if she truly has had a child,” Benedict replied
“Well, maybe she doesn’t want to come back!” Eloise yelled. Realizing what she had just said Eloise slammed her hand over her mouth. The room went quiet Colin's sobs stopped. Looking up tears still rolling down his face.
“Did you know?” his voice but his anger was permeable. Eloise said nothing. “Eloise have you known where Penelope has been this entire time!” Colin yelled standing from the floor.
“Not the whole time… I got a letter about six months ago from Waterford. All it said was that she was okay and she was safe,” Eloise cried. “I swear I didn’t know she was with child. I would’ve told you if I did,” Eloise continued.
“You should’ve told me the moment you received the letter you had no right-“Colin responded before promptly being cut off.
“No right!” Eloise yelled walking over and shoving Colin ignoring the shouts from their mother. “No right. No, you have no right. She was my friend first. You may have met her first but I was the one who was truly there for her. She is my sister in all but in name and you drove her away. She chose to be a single mother rather than be married to you. She may forgive you for hurting because that is the type of person she is but I won’t.” Eloise finished walking away the room once again falling into silence.