Chapter Text
It was the middle of June. I was starting to think the people of Gravity Falls had simply lost it.
Trick-or-treaters aren’t something that you would normally expect in the middle of a scourging summer, but Gravity Falls wasn't normal . You shouldn’t expect anything normal out of this bizarre excuse of a folksy town.
Suddenly there was a loud banging on my door. This was the fifth time this had happened tonight. Did these children not know that the porch lights being off means nobody is home???
I slammed my fists on my desk and stood up. I was trying to get my research done, but it was near impossible with this constant stream of booger-covered toddlers coming to my porch!
I walked over to the door and kicked it angrily. It swung open with a creak, letting in the humid summer air outside. Despite the
“It is the middle of June!! Get off my property!” I rubbed the bridge of my nose, but when I looked up I wasn't met with a horde of kids. Instead, a giant monster was standing in the doorway.
“Good God!” I gasped and tried to shut the door. The monster shoved its bony, black hand between the wall and the door and pushed it open. It hit the wall with a loud bang. I took a few steps back and shook my head in disbelief.
“Oh my!” I shrieked and slammed the door shut again. This… monster at my door kept on knocking, over and over and over again.
I flung the door open again and pointed at it.
“What do you want from me!?” I yelled at it, It just stared at me. It was wearing a smiley Halloween mask and a brown coat. It was lanky and hairy; it smelt terrible .
“Trick or Treat?” It croaked in a deep raspy voice. It tilted its head at me, holding out a bucket shaped like a jack o' lantern, but as a watermelon????. I slammed the door in its face while yelling;
“I DON'T HAVE ANY CANDY!” I sat with my back against the door and held my head in my hands. I knew this town was messed up, But seriously… I simply didn’t have time for any Gravity Falls shenanigans tonight.
Then the creature started forcefully pushing the door open! I punched the door with my fist and stood up.
“Leave my premises! What kind of loser-“ I was cut off by the door being forced open by a strong gust of wind.
“You have insulted me!” The cryptid spoke in a loud booming voice. It stood up to its full size and towered over me while pointing a long bony finger in my face.
“You will pay with your life.” It growled and pushed its way into my house. The floorboards creaked under its weight. I stepped back, trying to gain some distance between me and this thing as it threatened me.
I stumbled over a loose board on the floor and tripped, Falling backward on my bottom. The beast stood over me, staring down at me with its empty Halloween mask.
“The only way you can avoid this fate is by bringing me a treat. 500 pieces of candy before the last jack-o-melon goes out, and I will let you live,” It hissed. I stood up and pulled at the sleeves of my coat.
“ 500 pieces of candy!? How am I supposed to obtain 500 pieces of candy?? I am a full-grown man!” I said in disbelief. I waved my arms around me in distress; this was impossible!
“The choice is yours, Sixer. Trick or treat… or die. ” It crawled out of the house quickly and jumped up on the roof. Hold on…did it just call me...?
I stood up and dusted myself off. I cursed under my breath and grabbed my journal off my desk. I tucked it into my coat pocket and stripped the pillowcase off my pillow.
I walked outside, the air was hot and humid. This wasn’t trick-or-treating weather at all . I walked to the town as swiftly as I could. I had no reason not to believe that this monstrosity wasn’t going to kill me if I didn’t retrieve 500 pieces of candy for it.
After all, anything can happen in Gravity Falls. I wasn’t going to risk my health for the sake of my pride, I approached the first house. I knocked pathetically on the door, A sweet-looking woman in her mid-20's answered the door.
“Ooo-hoo-hoo! Say trick or-“ She did a little dance as she reached for the candy bowl near the door, She froze when she saw me. She gasped and shook her head.
“Trick or treat?” I cringed and held up my pillowcase, Smiling awkwardly. She slammed the door in my face, shaking her head disappointedly.
“Wonderful!” I huffed and sat down on her porch steps, I crossed my arms and chewed on the inside of my cheek. What on earth was I supposed to do?
Then I heard a fuzzy voice in my head;
“Hey, Fordsy! Looking for treats?” Bill’s unmistakable voice teased.
“My Muse??” I asked, looking around for the god-like being.
“Haha! Need a lil hand?” He asked. I heard him snap, and suddenly thousands of white sparkly teeth rained down from the heavens, right on top of my head.
“What on earth?? ” I stood up, and a few teeth clattered onto the cement around me.
“Thank you… but uh, this isn’t what I needed.” I stuttered while looking down at the gleaming white teeth below my feet. This was just disturbing…
“Ah! My bad Pine Tree, forgot you humans don't eat those! More for me I guess!” His voice rattled in my brain, sending chills down my spine. I knew he wasn't a saint… but seriously..human teeth?
“Trick or Treat!!” He yelled joyfully. 500 pieces fell from nowhere in particular, directly into my sack.
“This is exactly what I need, I can't thank you enough, my muse!” I said gratefully while tying the top of the pillowcase in a knot. I walked back down the road to the forest that surrounded Gravity Falls, where my abode was located.
As I was walking I watched the wind blow out a jack-o-melon. I looked around and realized I was in total darkness… the last jack-o-melon just went out.
Suddenly the monster jumped down in front of me, causing the ground to shake. It cracked its neck and leaned in toward my face.
“Did you collect my candy?” It growled, its breath smelt terrible… like rotten Halloween candy. I scrunched up my nose and held out my sack full of candy.
“And how did you collect this candy?” It grabbed the bag and dumped to contents down its throat. It made a disgusting gurgling noise as it swallowed all the candy.
“Hard work,” I answered and glared at it. That was a lie, I only went to one house before the candy was literally handed to me.
“Do not lie to me, child. ” It griped and threw the empty pillowcase at me. I clenched my fist and threw the pillowcase on the ground.
“I got you your candy! why does it matter where it came from!?” I yelled, waving my fist at it. It stood up and tilted its head at me.
Then it reached its large gross hand out and grabbed me, it opened a large mouth on its chest and started to lower me in. I screamed and kicked it in the face. Its smiley-face Halloween mask flew off and landed on the pavement.
Its face was made out of…. candy? It had a candy-corn grin and Twizzler eyebrows. I gasped, it growled at me.
“Loser candy?!” I shrieked and flailed to get the beast to drop me. It threw me onto the pavement.
“How dare you!?” It yelled. I scrambled away towards a large bush, it started running after me. Then a loud booming voice spoke from… somewhere, it sounded like Bill!
“Ok ok ok! As entertaining as this is, I can’t have my vessel being damaged!” He chuckled. The monster stopped running and looked around.
"Cipher?" The monster said, seemingly scared, which was...odd to say the least.
"You betcha, LC!" My muse laughed.
"Now drop my puppet or we're going to have issues." Bill threatened in a low voice, as the monster dropped me and ran off.
"Now here's what you're gonna do Fordsy! The next time some snot-nosed 9 year old comes up to your doorstep demanding- I don't know whatever you one-lifespanned skin puppets find appetizing, you're going to tell them the legend of the 'Summerween Trickster', a monster that.....ummm EATS KIDS that don't have enough SuMmErWeEn SpIrIt or whatever. Got it?"
"Yes, muse. And as always, thank you for your guidance." I said respectfully.
"Don't mention it Pine Tree! I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to make it up to me!" He said as his cackling faded into the darkest corners of my mind, as I walked back home in the darkness.