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You stared at a random spot on the bed, your mind empty of any thought. You just wanted to sit there and think of nothing. Your head hurt enough as it was, you needed a little relief. You wished Satoru wouldn't talk so much. You wished he'd let you just remain silent, but his hand was on your knee, coaxing you into looking at him. Your gaze shifted to his own, and you thought you saw his lips move, but you couldn't hear anything. Or, you didn't want to hear anything. Not when his face crinkled, not when his eyebrows were brought down as his usually cheery smile was replaced with a frown. You didn't want to hear what he said.
You didn't want to say anything to him, but his hand on your knee became that much more insistent. Squeezing it as if he planned on breaking it with his strength alone.
"Y/N? Are you even listening to me?" He asked, so tender and sweet. The same voice he used to use on you when he was trying to charm his way into your heart. You felt so stupid for even letting him in like that. Maybe if you'd just kept your distance, if you just kept walking after running into him that day, you could have gotten away unscathed.
Instead, you befriended him. You treated him like he was your best friend. He seemed harmless enough. Funny, strong, and willing to show you some of his favorite spots in the city, though you weren't really interested, you indulged him anyway. Which has been your undoing ever since.
"Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment, y/n?" He said, his tone changed from sweet to impatient within a matter of seconds. You still didn't respond. Your eyes looked away from him, staring at the wall instead. The corner of your mouth twitched from his exasperated sigh, but you still didn't look back at him.
"Fine. I see how it is." Those words are what made your skin crawl.
He didn't hurt you. He never hurt you. He told you himself he wouldn't hurt you. So why did your heart beat fast in your chest as his hand came up to your chin? Why did you swallow hard as he turned your head to look at him again, why did your hands start anxiously grabbing at the sheets that lay over you, when his face appeared unreadable? Cold? You were always able to tell what he was thinking, what he was feeling, because he always wore his heart on his sleeve. He hid that from you now, and it made things that much more unbearable.
"Y/N, you know I hate it when you ignore me. If you don't say something to me by the time I count to three..." His hand on your chin became tighter, making you wince.
It was a silent warning of what he might do, but you still didn't know what he was truly capable of doing. Especially since he claimed he wouldn't hurt you. He wouldn't let go of your chin. He held it, needing your full attention on him and not some random spot in the room.
"One." As you stared into his eyes, you pressed your lips together in a firm line.
"Two." You blinked, his own eyes narrowed. You wouldn't back down, even if his glare melted you down to the bone.
"Don't make me get to three, y/n." His tone dropped, words piercing you like sharp ice as his hand on your chin made your jaw ache.
He never hurt you, he said he wouldn't, but the way he held you, the way he talked to you, made you think that was a sugarcoated lie.
"A-alright, alright!" Your voice cracked as a knot formed in your throat.
You'd never seen Satoru this upset. He was always happy, always wanting you to be happy. He never wanted you to be afraid of him. Even now, when he held your chin. Even now, when your ankle was chained to the bedpost. He wanted you to be happy, he didn't like showing this side of himself, and while you knew that, you just couldn't help but silently disagree. If he really wanted you to be happy, to not be afraid of him, he wouldn't be treating you like this. Like some helpless stray animal he found on the street.
"See, was that so hard, baby?" His grip loosened, rubbing your chin gently, as if to apologize for his cruelty. "I hate hurting you in any way, more than you ignoring me. But, if you keep doing that, you leave me with no choice, sweets."
He sighed, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to your chin before letting it go completely. "Now, answer the question..."
Your eyes shifted to something moving on the bed. In his hands were something you hadn't seen before, and it made your stomach churn as his smile returned, as if he hadn't threatened you just moments ago. "Do you prefer a leather collar, or a metal one?"
Your face contorted into one of disgust as he held up two collars. One metal, one leather, just like he said. He really wanted you to choose? You looked between him and the collars he held up to you, his smile never faltering even when your frown deepened. "N-neither!"
"Metal it is!" He tossed the leather collar aside and leaned forward, a little too happy to put the collar on you.
What was the point in even asking you when he was just going to pick for you?
You shrunk back, trying to put some distance between yourself and Satoru, your hands shoving at his shoulders, but to you, it was like pushing a brick wall. He didn't even have his infinity active, which only made you feel more inferior, like he didn't even see a point in using something like that against you. You'd planned on going to Jujutsu high to prove you were a strong, capable sorcerer after discovering what your abilities were, and what curses were, but now? After failing to push Satoru away, the metal collar tight around your neck, you were starting to think you weren't capable. You weren't strong.
His hand traced over the fine metal around your neck. You hated the way he smiled at you, like he loved you with all his heart. Something delicate that would break if he so much as looked at you wrong.
"There. It suits you, don't you think?" Satoru laughed, pressed you against the bed.
He hovered over you, and right now, all you wanted to do was think of something else. You didn't want to think about what was being done to you, his hands snaking over your body, his lips pressed to yours, sloppy and uncontrolled, all teeth and tongue. You thought with how much he bragged about his looks, he would have been more experienced with this, but it didn't really matter anyway. You closed your eyes, not really bothering to return the kiss, only squirming underneath him as his hands grabbed your waist, desperate to touch you.
You wished you were stronger. You wished you wouldn't have been his friend. You wish you'd never met Satoru Gojo.