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bough breaks

Summary:

When II wandered into the studio the next morning for practice, IV zoned in on him immediately. Dishevelled hair, a lost look in his eyes, and clothes askew and definitely from the night before, reeking of piss and he looks like he hasn’t slept.

“II? II, are you okay?”

II just blinked at him. Yeah… he was fine?

“I’m okay,” II says, and he repeats it like he’s trying to convince himself. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

IV can tell instantly he’s not, and so can III and Vessel, who are both near him. Vessel reaches out to touch him, the reaction is instantaneous. “N-no!” II flinches. “Don’t touch me!”

Shit.

or-

II is left in a subdrop. IV helps him.

Notes:

set in the same universe as my fic loving me

(Basically, an au if II and IV didn’t end up together right away)

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II totally didn’t care that IV is a really big fucking flirt who sleeps with everyone that’s not him, it’s fine. 

Really , he didn’t. 

In IV’s defence, anytime he tried to flirt with II, II panicked and hit him with his Red Bull can. He is too proud to admit just how gone he is for IV. So, he keeps IV away, at arm's length, to simultaneously protect his pride if he’s rejected and his friendship with IV, which he values. 

IV can sleep with whoever he wants. 

Whatever, II doesn’t care. 

It only breaks his heart more and more each time IV smiles at him with fresh hickeys, swollen lips, or a limp.

II was content in his own space. He loved it. 

But… eventually, he did start to grapple with the idea of seeking out some sort of sexual gratification that wasn’t by his own perfected hands. He started (trying) to do casual hookups. Unlike him, he thought he’d try to do something noncommittal for now. The small fact he’s a virgin is still in his mind but he doesn’t need to and it that to anyone if he doesn’t want to. 

It went sort of fine, he guessed. He met with a woman first, who he had met at III’s house, she was sweet. The night ended up with some oral (for her). II decided he wasn’t ready yet, said thanks for the fun night, and quietly left. 

He met someone a few weeks back, Aaron. He was at some record release party for a friend's party. He was attractive 

Aaron wasn’t that… bad. 

He started seeing one dude sort of regularly. He was… fine, again. They didn’t have sex, just did something called pain play. II didn’t dislike it, he knew about BDSM and dom/sub but he honestly didn’t know enough about it. But Aaron did things to him that were intense and told him to trust him, which II did. 

He made II feel… weird. Floaty. And Aaron wanted to be called ‘Master’ for some reason, II didn’t question it. He saw him sometimes but didn’t think much of it. 

Eventually, Aaron brought up his partner, Kiera. He had asked if II wouldn’t mind meeting them both. II was okay with it— again nothing happened, they liked to tie him up and then make him watch while they fuck. 

That’s normal, right? 

Last night Aaron had texted him to meet up, so II did. 

It was a blur from there. 

So, when II wandered into the studio the next morning for practice, IV zoned in on him immediately . Dishevelled hair, a lost look in his eyes, and clothes askew and definitely from the night before, reeking of piss and he looks like he hasn’t slept. 

“II? II, are you okay?” 

II just blinked at him. Yeah… he was fine?

“I’m okay,” II says, and he repeats it like he’s trying to convince himself. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

IV can tell instantly he’s not, and so can III and Vessel, who are both near him. Vessel reaches out to touch him, the reaction is instantaneous. “N-no!” II flinches. “Don’t touch me!”

 

Shit .

 

IV steps in front of II, raising his finger, so II tracks it with his eyes. 

Well, his pupils aren’t dilated, but they’re not tracking movement. He looks foggy and disoriented. IV steps forward and II doesn’t immediately push him away, but tenses, as he pushes up his blond hair to check the temperature on his forehead. II shivers. Not a flinch, not a fight – but a full body shudder, like IV, just scratched down his back with his nails. He makes a short, breathy sound, and IV feels dread squeeze in his stomach.

“IV,” II exhales. “Sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t touch me – I don’t deserve it – I can handle this, please, just leave me alone?”

III looks surprised and tries to ask him what he means, while IV’s eyes snap wide open.

He prays this is something else, IV almost tries desperately to convince himself, but all the signs are there. IV gently takes II’s hand, pushing the fabric up, revealing the rope burns on his small wrists.

 

Shit. 

 

“Don’t look,” II squirms. “I’m sorry… I’m- I was bad – that’s why –” II slams a hand over his mouth, looking like he is facing an internal conflict of trying to rationalize the situation he’s in. The reality of the situation hits IV like a truck. 

“You’ve dropped, honeybee,” IV says ever so gently, using his favourite nickname for II, and his gut flaring with rage at the asshole who left II like this. 

“Um. I’m – I’m okay. I… deserve it.”

“Who did this?!” Vessel growls, grabbing II’s wrist, which has been rubbed raw. He brings it up to II’s field of view. He shouldn’t react so badly, it’s just, that he’s known II for so long. He’s so steadfast in the way he acts that seeing him be so clearly, badly, treated, makes Vessel furious.  “II, tell me, who did this?”

II struggles to speak as he just looks at the red marks on his wrist. “It – doesn’t matter –”

“Doesn’t matter!? Are you kidding me!?” III shouts, also furious by this, and II flinches hard, and IV quickly steps in. 

“Okay, yelling isn’t going to help anything right now,” IV says softly, taking II’s hand out of Vessel’s tight grip, and he puts his hand on the side of II’s face. “Hey, look at me, you’re in a bad subspace right now. Whoever you were with should not have left you like this.”

“He-he was good to me. It isn’t his fault!” II cries and his voice begins to crack, and IV curses this guy to hell. II looks embarrassed like he’s sort of aware of what he’s saying, but the words come out anyway. 

IV strokes softly over II’s cheek, “Does he always leave you like this?”

II shivers and wants to cry. “Y-yeah,”

“You’re stuck,” IV notes. He pets across II’s sweaty hair. “II.”

II’s eyes look up, still blinking like he’s trying to see in the dark. Stuck? Yeah, that’s a way to describe how he’s feeling. “Yeah…”

IV looks sympathetic, but rage burns in his eyes at this person who so carelessly left II like this. “You need to go back in, honeybee,”

“W-what? No! No, I can… Water… I just need to lie down!” IV rolls his knuckles over his cheeks, up to his temple, and down to II’s under II’s ears. Possessiveness spikes for IV; which is unfair because he shouldn’t feel this. 

“Listen very carefully. I’m going to coax you back, you’re going to ride out the rest of your drop with me – and then I’m going to pull you back out. I’ll catch you, I promise. I promise . Do you understand?”

II cries,  the tears rolling off his cheeks and to the floor – as if he doesn’t even notice.

II sobs. No… he doesn’t want to ride it out…

IV looks stern. “I am not leaving you like this,”

IV won’t leave him. That’s… nice. 

II nods slowly. Vessel and III are still right around him, but he feels… uneasy. His eyes go back and forth to them. Oh God, they must think he’s so pathetic— 

 

“II?” 

 

II blinks.

 

Oh. 

 

Oh

 

IV was speaking to him. “Huh?” 

“Do you want Vessel and III? Or just me?” IV asks slowly. 

II’s mind races. He must be so embarrassing- 

As if reading his mind, III kneels down and only smiles at him, a warm, comforting smile. “You didn’t do anything wrong, II. You’re so good. We just need to make sure you’re comfortable. IV is best to take care of you right now, but we want to be there with you if you want us. Or. If you don’t, we won’t be mad. Okay?” 

II is going to cry again. But he nods. “Not… all of it, I don’t want you to see all of it. But… after, can you come back after? You and Vess?” 

Fuck. II is always so small, but so fierce. Right now, he looks so fragile, that III wants to cry . “Of course. Vessel and I will go out for a few hours, and then IV will text us when you’re ready, okay?”  

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That’s good. 

“II? Is that okay? We need your words,” Vessel says softly beside him. 

II nods, but IV’s gentle hands remind him to speak. “Yeah. Good.” 

Vessel and III pack up quietly, while IV calls a car to go back to II’s place. It’s a blur getting back to his space, but the whole time, IV checks with him for his consent. Is it okay if I come to your flat? 

Yes, he’s okay with IV in his flat. 

I want to clean you up. Is it okay if I see you without your clothes on? 

Yes. That’s okay too. 

Back in his familiar, safe little home, II’s stomach drops when he realizes he hasn’t been there since last night. He spent the entire night at Aaron’s house. And hated it. They didn’t untie him until 4 am after he pissed himself. 

Fuck…  

As II stands by his bedroom, he starts to sob again. Deep, low sobs, rumbling his chest. 

Beside him, IV gently wipes a stray tear from his cheek. "Want to tell me why are you crying?"

II sobs again. His whole body lurches with it. I'm sorry. He mouths, shaking. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 

"I need to know what you're apologizing for," IV says, serious, and II must have made him really mad. "I can't help until I know.” 

II hangs his head in defeat. Oh God, he doesn't know. He has no idea. The emotions in his chest feel like they’re eating away at him. 

He’s humiliated and embarrassed and abandoned and stupid

So, so stupid, to have let people treat him like that. He thought he enjoyed it, at first. But he didn’t. 

"I'm sorry." He blurts, all over again, and then doubles over, head pressing against the sheets, sobbing. “I'm so sorry," he says, and he's apologizing, and now IV's going to be -- he'll be mad. 

"Shh," IV says, smoothing his fingers through II's hair. "Hey, hey. It's okay. It's okay, II, do you think I'm angry? I'm not angry. I could never be angry at you. Shh, baby, relax."

II swallows around the thick lump in his throat. Distantly, he's aware that this is about as embarrassing as it will ever get between him and IV. He wants to apologize again, but he's not sure if that's allowed. His mind feels like it's buzzing, filled with static, and slowly, he starts to drift away.

"That's it," IV says "It's just a little bit overwhelming, isn't it? I know. I know that feeling, honeybee. But it's okay. You cry as much as you want."

II wants to wail and he wants to curl up in IV's warmth, and he will, maybe. He'll sob and sob and let everything out. 

This is when II starts to cry all over again because, in his mind, he hates that IV could have ever felt like this. Ever had someone made him feel so fucking small and stupid. And now IV is dealing with him. 

He's so, so sorry, he's so sorry, for being an inconvenience.  

IV holds him in his lap, tight, and wraps his arms around his form. They rock, both of them seeking comfort in the warmth of each other's bodies. IV exhales, shaky.

"You're a good boy, you hear me?" He says, giving a watery smile. He tucks a loose strand of blond hair behind II's ear. "You're a really good boy, II. Such a good boy, did you know that? Does anyone tell you that? Has anyone ever told you that?"

II shakes his head.

IV wipes a tear from II's cheek. "I want to give you a shower now, okay?”

II panics that IV will leave him. "Are you," II's mouth fails him "will you. You—”

He wants to ask IV if he’ll leave. He’s scared to ask IV if he’ll leave because he doesn’t want the confirmation. But luckily, IV understands what he’s asking. 

"I'll stay. I won't leave you at all, II."

Which is just what II needs. He settles down, pressing his head to IV's chest, to the beat of his heart. It's steady and warm. 

Slowly, IV gently tugs him up from the ground. He leads him to II’s pretty bathroom, with plants and fluffy towels and IV’s heart tugs at someone treating II so poorly. 

He begins pulling off II’s soiled clothes, making a mental note to put them in the wash right away after II falls asleep. “II, I want to join you in the shower. Is that okay? I can keep my clothes on.”

No… no. Skin. He wants IV’s skin on his, to rub away Aaron and Keira’s fingertips that cover him. 

“No. I want to feel you,” II admits numbly. 

Things move in slow motion, each touch carries more meaning. The shower is turned on, and IV works a quick arm around II’s chest pretty fast to support him, mainly because he's worried he'll just crumple to the floor otherwise. He grabs a cloth and runs it over every inch of his small frame; his arms, and his thighs in soft motions, washing away any and every evidence of the night before. 

His heart breaks at the sight of the rope makes all over his body, the angry red skin on his ass and thighs blistered and broken with no care given to try and make sure they heal. 

Under the hot water, II relaxes visibly. It doesn't take long until he's closed his eyes. On his arm, just below his shoulder, IV observes, that there’s a deep red indent — the leftovers of sharp, volatile teeth. 

“I’m going to wash your hair now, okay?”

II is standing with his head on his chest and nods. While IV scrubs, he debates asking, trying to be calm… but he also wants to know if they damaged him any further than what he can see.  “Do you want to tell me what he did?”

“They… N-nothing. Not really. Tied me up. Used a… cane I think? Took out a knife at one point. Didn’t use it but… it, it scared me.” 

IV swallows hard and holds him tighter. 

 

Nothing

 

“Of course, it would scare you. And you were already in ropes. Did he ask you before he pulled that out?”

“No.” 

“Did you want it or mention it at all?”

“No…”

“Did you call red?”

II looks tired and confused. “What’s that?”

IV’s gut twists

“You’re supposed to use safe words in BDSM settings.” 

“Oh. I’ve never done it before. He never told me. It’s not… really BDSM?” 

“It seems like a scene to me. Or one for only them which isn’t how it’s supposed to be. But I can’t say, I wasn’t there. But, II, he should not have left you like this.” 

“Do you do that often?”

“BDSM? No, not really. But I think safe words during intimacy, sometimes even just for communication in general, are very beneficial,” 

II already looks exhausted and IV shuts off the shower and drops his questioning for the time being. He wraps II in a towel, dropping one on his waist as well, and leads the exhausted man to his bedroom. IV loves II’s bed, it is so big and fluffy and comfy, for someone so tiny. 

II drops into it instantly, as IV takes the towel off, leaving him naked on the soft sheets. “I’ll be here when you wake up, okay?” 

II stares at him, nodding numbly, before he falls asleep nearly instantly. 

When, II wakes up in his bed, feeling sluggish and exhausted. 

But also, very alone. 

He panics because IV said he would stay— he said. 

“It’s okay, right over here. Sorry, I needed tea,” a voice says as he walks back to bed. II didn’t realize he was hyperventilating. But he was . IV is in bed next to him immediately, arms wrapping around II’s torso and drawing the smaller man to his chest. “Shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

II nods and tries to blink the tears away. He sees his clothes from the day before have been washed and folded on his dresser. The towels from the shower are put away, and his apartment has the curtains drawn and candles lit. 

So warm. 

“You’re… have you had to do this before?” 

“Sort of. I wouldn’t ever leave someone like this if I was with them. But I’ve had some people I knew who were in this state, so I tried to help them then,”

II’s heart sinks as he thinks of that— the tender touches IV must have given others, holding them while they cried in bed. But, he isn’t angry that IV helped, maybe jealous it wasn’t him , but IV does have so much empathy and love to give, who would be better at taking care of someone in a vulnerable state than he is? 

II curls up against IV, looking up with wide eyes. “You’re a safe place,” 

IV kisses his forehead. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah… safe place for me,” 

“I’ll always be a safe place for you. As long as you’ll have me, in any way you want to have me,” 

The sentence is layered, and complex. II knows it but can’t think about it yet. For now; he just holds IV tightly in the bed, not caring he’s still naked. Eventually, III and Vessel show up with takeout, join them in the bed, and Vessel lies behind II, spooning him tightly. 

“Sweet boy,” Vessel whispers into II’s hair. 

II huddles close and feels incredibly, indescribably loved.