Chapter Text
Crowley had no idea where he was going. Aziraphale hadn’t told him. He’d only told Crowley to pack a bag, they were going on a little honeymoon.
Just as he always did, Crowley had done exactly what he was told: he’d packed a bag with a couple changes of clothes, put himself and Aziraphale in the car, and they’d taken off. He trusted Aziraphale implicitly and had no doubt that he was going to love wherever they were going and whatever they were going to do, but that didn’t stop him from playfully complaining.
“I’m shocked you didn’t blindfold me for this.”
“Don’t be silly. I couldn’t possibly, I need you to drive. And you’ll be making a left just up here.”
Crowley prepared to make a left, as directed. “I’ve been trying to figure out where we’re going.”
“You’re going to see where we’re going in just a few minutes. But do tell me what you’ve extrapolated.”
“Well, the first thing is that we’re in the South Downs, near the sea.”
“Yes, that’s true. We are. And well spotted by you, darling.”
He chuckled. “Wisearse. The second thing I’ve figured out is that you’ve been here before.”
Aziraphale whirled around to look at him. “Why do you say that?”
“Because you seem totally comfortable,” Crowley said simply. “I know it’s nerve wracking for you to go to new places, so I can only assume you’ve been here before.”
“Well, yes, that’s fair. I have.”
“Care to tell me? Since we’re so close anyway.”
Aziraphale seemed to be thinking for a moment. “I guess I don’t see the harm in telling you now that we are close. We’re going to my uncle’s seaside cottage.”
“Which uncle?” Crowley asked, instantly on his guard.
“Uncle David.”
“The one with the…?” He gestured towards his face vaguely.
Aziraphale tittered. “Yes, the one with the mustache. He pulled me aside at the wedding and told me that we should visit and consider it a honeymoon.”
Crowley had been in a relationship with Aziraphale for fourteen months, and had been married to him for four weeks. As a result, he knew his husband very, very well. He could tell that there was something Aziraphale wasn’t telling, or was lying about. But, again, he trusted him implicitly, and didn’t doubt for a second that whatever this was would be wonderful. If he had any doubts about that, the fact that Aziraphale was so bouncy erased those doubts.
So, deciding to let Aziraphale have his little secret, he changed the subject a little. “Speaking of the wedding…”
Aziraphale pursed his lips at him. “Are you about to complain about what Jim wore? Again?”
Crowley feigned being wounded. “I can’t believe you’d accuse me of complaining. Jim’s sartorial choices for our wedding bring me nothing but delight.”
“Oh, please.”
“He looked like Elton John on a coke binge. Which, to be fair, most of Elton John’s best outfits were probably heavily influenced by the nose candy.”
“Must you?” Aziraphale asked, playfully.
“What part is offensive? The booger sugar or Jim’s outfit?”
Aziraphale tutted. “I think we should perhaps just talk about something else entirely. Change our focus.”
“I can’t help it, angel. That was almost the best part of the day!” He yelped when Aziraphale gave him the expected swat. “Oi! I said almost.”
“You are a boor,” Aziraphale said, making it sound like the sweetest caress.
“Yeah, but you love me.”
“Hmm, I suppose I must, to put up with your shenanigans. Here it is, darling, on the right.”
Crowley put on the indicator and turned into the long drive. “Good lord, angel.”
“What is it?” Aziraphale asked.
“This is… this is the biggest cottage I’ve ever seen.”
“It is rather stately, isn’t it?”
He finally put the car in park. “So you’ve come here before?”
“I have, yes,” Aziraphale said, opening the door to get out. “I used to come here fairly often as a child, and I spent a summer here when my parents simply despaired of me.” Crowley felt the old bubbling anger he always did when Aziraphale mentioned the mistreatment he’d suffered with his family. “But I didn’t spend much time beyond that, if I’m honest. My parents and my uncle didn’t get along, as I’m sure you can imagine.”
“Yeah, I could see why they didn’t like him. Your uncle David was actually kind of cool.”
“Indeed. Which is the reason he was the only member of my family invited to our wedding,” Aziraphale said, pulling bags out of the boot. Crowley tried to grab some away, and Aziraphale let him take a couple, but there were two he held back. “I’ll handle these, dear,” he said with that bastard smile that Crowley was sure he’d never be sick of.
Instead of telling Aziraphale for the fifty millionth time how much he loved him, he shrugged. “Suit yourself,” he said, then shouldered the bags he was allowed to carry and offered his hand to Aziraphale. “Come on, then. Show me around.”
Aziraphale unlocked the door, and Crowley had a fleeting thought about carrying him across the threshold, but decided against it. This wasn’t their place, and that would be silly.
As soon as they unlocked the door, Aziraphale announced to Crowley that he’d be right back in a voice that was almost sing-song and scooted up the stairs, leaving Crowley to look around by himself. He did so, and had to admit that he really liked what he saw. The place was tastefully decorated - by someone who had money, clearly - and the furniture was very nice, albeit at least a decade or two old. The dining room was flat-out stately, and the kitchen could use a few updates, but seemed to be in working order. The couch in the lounge looked to be very nice (very sturdy, he added within his own mind), and the television was fairly new. All in all, Crowley thought this was a nice place, and he’d enjoy spending the weekend here.
Aziraphale was taking a while to do whatever he was doing, so Crowley stepped out the back door to take a look at the garden. The rear garden was enclosed with a rock wall about three feet high that Crowley estimated was at least a century old. The garden itself was huge, though, with several fruit trees and a stunning view of the sea.
“Check out that garage,” Crowley said by way of greeting when Aziraphale joined him on the back patio, gesturing towards it.
“Yes,” Aziraphale said, sliding his hand into Crowley’s. “It’s very spacious inside. We could park the car there.”
Crowley chuckled. “I was thinking a hot shop would be nice there.”
“Well, yes, but perhaps we should build you a hotshop separately. Out of brick. A ways away from the house? Perhaps just over there,” he said, pointing towards the back left corner. “We have plenty of space in the garden."
Crowley grinned, enjoying this little hypothetical game they were playing. "Worried about fire?"
"The firefighter response time out here is a little less immediate than in the city, my darling."
“Yeah, that’s fair,” he allowed, putting his arm around Aziraphale comfortably.
“We could put it right in that corner, and then create a little footpath to get there. We could line it with flowers, if you wanted.”
“Yeah, could do. I just don’t like to think about spending that kind of money.”
“Darling, we have it to spend.”
"Okay, but..."
"If you'd rather spend your time building it with your own two hands instead of making art...." Aziraphale said.
Crowley laughed. "Yeah, okay, okay, you made your point. But this is all academic, anyway,” he said, turning to lead Aziraphale back into the cottage.
“Why is it academic?”
“Because we’re only visiting your uncle’s cottage for the weekend,” Crowley said, and Aziraphale’s eyes twinkled for some reason he didn’t understand. Instead of puzzling it out, Crowley looked around the lounge, peering at the photos on the mantle and the bookshelves. “I didn’t know your uncle was gay.”
“Well, yes, that’s a big part of the reason my family wanted nothing to do with him. But what makes you say that?”
Crowley indicated the photos on the mantle. “This is David, as best I can tell, but there are a lot of photos of him with another man.”
His husband peered at the photo in question. “Oh, yes-- That was his friend Oliver. They would take bachelor weekends... here..." He trailed off and did a slow blink as realization set in.
Crowley was deeply amused. “Angel, did your elderly uncle invite us to his gay love nest for the weekend?”
“I believe he did, darling. But it’s not just for the weekend.”
“What do you mean?” Crowley asked absently, looking at another photo of David and Oliver.
“This cottage is ours now. We own it. Or at least, we will when we sign the papers in London on Tuesday.”
Crowley nearly dropped the picture he was holding, his whole face etched with shock. “What do you mean, we will own it when we sign the papers on Tuesday?”
“David pulled me aside at the wedding and told me about it. It took a couple of weeks to make arrangements, but I wanted to surprise you.” He made jazz hands, and said, “Surprise!”
Crowley could tell his anxiety was inching up because he was worried about Crowley’s reaction. But he was too stunned to be soothing right now.
“Are you serious?”
“I am, quite.”
"And you managed to keep it a secret since the wedding?"
"Not that it's been terribly long, love. I got you here as soon as I could.”
He was still stunned. “Your uncle has gifted you -”
“Us.”
“Us with this property?”
“Yes, he has. He asked us to box up his personal effects this weekend, since his health is not ideal lately. We’ll return them to him on Tuesday, when we sign the papers.”
“What about the furniture?” Crowley asked, still stunned.
“It’s all ours, darling. If you want it, that is. I realize some of it is not your style, and that a lot of it is quite a few years old, but I thought that we could use it until we have time to furnish it ourselves.” He looked anxious again. “Do you like it? It’s not too late for us to back out…”
“Do I like it?” Crowley said, incredulous. “I don’t even know what to say! This is… fuck, this is far and away the biggest gift anyone ever gave me. Unless I’m counting God giving me you.”
Aziraphale tittered, more relaxed now. “In that case, do you intend on keeping it?”
“The cottage or you? Because you, I’m keeping for eternity. Swore an oath in front of God and everybody,” he teased.
“No, you wretch,” Aziraphale said, even more relaxed. “I meant the cottage.”
“Are you serious? A home that the two of us can build together? Fuck, angel. I’m just… fuck, I’m thrilled. I just… I’m just the tiniest bit weirded out to be sleeping with you in a bed where your uncle has been having a ton of sex.”
“I thought you might say that,” Aziraphale said. “So I had a new mattress delivered two days ago.”
Crowley’s heart rate had sped up. “And sheets. Tell me you got sheets.”
Aziraphale’s grin was wicked. “That’s what took me so long upstairs, darling. I was putting the new sheets on the bed - satin, like you like - and there are a couple other goodies up there I think you’ll be interested in. Although I haven’t replaced the duvet yet -”
He crossed the room in two strides and kissed his husband, hard. “I love you so fucking much, sweetheart,” he said when they parted.
“I love you, too, darling. Shall we retire upstairs, and give the new mattress a workout?”
“That sounds fucking fantastic. I’m following you.”
Indeed, he followed Aziraphale up the stairs, and he thought he should probably be looking around at his new place, but at the moment, his eyes were full of Aziraphale’s arse - and that was much more important than the decor.
Aziraphale led him down a corridor, past a couple of other doors, towards what was clearly the master bed. Again, it looked like it had been decorated by someone who had money and taste - but it had been decorated twenty years ago. That didn’t matter. They could fix it - and right now, Crowley had other things on his mind. He still wanted to tease about the hideous duvet, though, before they got started.
He glanced around for Aziraphale, who had gone to the bed and was digging in a bag. Crowley’s eyes widened when he realized what his husband was pulling out matter of factly, chatting as if he wasn’t doing anything unusual.
“Now,” he said, as he laid out a double-ended dildo, a bottle of their favorite lubricant, a plug, and another toy. “I bought these so we could leave them here and use them when we come, and wouldn’t have to travel with anything embarrassing. But we are welcome to use them now, of course.”
“All of them?” Crowley croaked, looking at the toys.
Aziraphale giggled, turning around and starting to disrobe. “Not all of them at once, no. We have a lot of time to play with lots of things, darling,” he said, then his eyes twinkled again. “I have an idea.”
“Tell me,” Crowley commanded, eyes feasting on Aziraphale’s clothing being shed.
“The first one to get naked and on the bed gets to pick what we use first.”
Suddenly it was a race, and both of them were removing their clothes as fast as they could. They were both also laughing at each other, teasing and poking fun, which made Crowley’s heart smile. The fact that he was married to this man that he could laugh with made him so unspeakably happy.
Aziraphale gave a shouted ‘Ha!’ of laughter when he was the first to be naked. “I win!”
“I have to disagree with you, sweetheart,” Crowley said, stepping over and putting his hands on his hips, enjoying the soft look that Aziraphale gave him, the way he lay his hands gently on Crowley’s shoulders. “I think, since I’m about to make love to my husband, I’m about to be the winner.”
His lip jutted out playfully. “Oh, dear. I was very much hoping we’d be having filthy, dirty sex.”
Crowley laughed, then nibbled that lip, just because he could. “Anything you want, sweetheart. I’ll do anything you want.”
“I’m glad you said that,” Aziraphale said, pulling away with a smile, and reaching for a toy. “This is a new one, I thought we could play with it.”
“What is it?”
“Why don’t I tell you about it while you finish getting naked?”
Crowley obediently got back to work on his remaining clothes.
“Good boy,” Aziraphale said, and Crowley knew that that was going to set the tone for this event. It also made him shiver with anticipation.
“I thought you were going to tell me about it.”
“Ah, yes, you’re right. This is a combination toy,” Aziraphale said. “This part here, is a cock ring, and it attaches to this, that will be on your prostate.”
Crowley was hard as a rock already and having a hard time navigating his jeans because of it. “Okay, sounds good so far…”
“Did I mention that the whole thing vibrates?”
He shivered. “Jesus, angel. I might not last long with that thing in. And on.”
“Oh, I don’t expect you will, especially once we get into actual intercourse. But, if you’ll forgive me, I expect you to last as long as possible, dear. I intend to edge you a wee bit.”
There was another shiver that he was unable to repress.
Aziraphale gestured towards the bed. “Come on up, darling. Let’s get you set up, shall we?”
Crowley scrambled up onto the bed, flopping flat on his back and letting his eyes locate his husband while his hand located his dick.
“Oh, what a pretty sight you make, darling,” Aziraphale said, clambering onto the bed beside him. “You really are the most lovely of God’s creations.”
“I think you are,” he said, voice a little broken.
“Yes, well, you’re allowed to be wrong,” he said, taking a place between Crowley’s spread legs. “Now, if you’d please, I’d like you to tell me if anything hurts or is uncomfortable.”
“It won’t be,” Crowley said. “I promise.”
Aziraphale was bringing the lube and the toy over to himself. “That’s a good boy,” he praised, once he got the items situated the way he wanted them, when he wrapped his hand around Crowley’s prick, displacing his hand. Crowley bit his lip a little. “And as to the other thing -”
“What other thing?” Crowley asked.
“Don’t interrupt, darling,” Aziraphale said with that hint of steel in his voice, and Crowley felt himself whimper. “I was saying that I want you to promise me that if you are uncomfortable in some way, you’ll use the appropriate safeword. Do you remember the safeword?”
“Ducks, yeah.”
“Very good,” he said, imperious, and he bit his lip again. “I think that, since it’s been several weeks since you bottomed, I’m going to take a great deal of care with you. Now, if you please, I think it’s time I tasted you while I work you up, isn’t it?”
That was the last bit of warning he got before Aziraphale bent low and took Crowley into his mouth. Both of them made sounds when his lips closed around Crowley - Crowley’s, a grunted ‘hnnngh’ between clenched teeth, and Aziraphale making the noise he always made when he had something he loved in his mouth. He took a few moments to swirl his tongue around the head of Crowley’s cock, gathering all the taste, then got to work bobbing on him.
Crowley loved to watch Aziraphale giving him head. It was an unbelievably erotic sight to see his husband with his mouth stretched around Crowley’s cock, saliva dripping down while he sucked. Sometimes, Aziraphale would raise his eyes to look at Crowley while he sucked him, making eye contact, and there had never, ever, in the history of the world, ever been anything hotter than when that happened.
But the thing he loved most was the way Aziraphale looked so happy while he pleasured Crowley. He seemed completely blissful to be sucking Crowley’s cock, and that was far and away his favorite part.
The two of them had been playing with bossing each other around in bed, experimenting with some very light dom/sub interactions, so he knew perfectly well that when Aziraphale was in charge, his role was to beg - until the point where he lost his control and would fuck Aziraphale like a jackhammer. Aziraphale liked for him to wait as long as possible before that happened, because he believed that the longer Crowley waited, the more pent up and aggressive he would be - which made Aziraphale feel immensely powerful. Crowley was feeling pretty good at the moment, pretty relaxed, but he was not about to disappoint his husband. He’d rather die.
“God, that feels good, angel. I love when you suck me. Your mouth is so talented… hnngh… I love it. You look so sexy like this, on your knees, sucking me off. God, I love y-oh!”
Aziraphale chuckled around the dick in his mouth, but Crowley didn’t laugh. He was enjoying the sensation of two lubed fingers on his arsehole.
“Yes, sweetheart… your fingers feel good… I want you to fuck me with them, please. I want that… oooh,” he purred, when Aziraphale’s finger breached. His husband fucked him gently with one finger while he bobbed, and suddenly, Crowley felt himself climbing faster than he had. It was still manageable - for the moment - but he wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to last.
“Have I mentioned how much I love your fingers?” he asked, voice just a wee bit strained. “I do, I love them. They’re deliciously thick, and I love the way they feel fucking me. Mmm… can I please have the second one? Please?”
Aziraphale very obligingly added the second finger and began fucking an increasingly hot Crowley with them.
“Ah, fuck,” he moaned, clutching the duvet with both hands. “God, angel, it feels so good. Please, please… Hnng…”
His cock was dripping now, saliva was running down his bollocks, just adding to the sensational onslaught he was experiencing. Crowley was just about to tell Aziraphale that the end was nigh if he kept that up when Aziraphale pulled off and pulled out gently, making Crowley squawk.
“What’d you quit for?”
“Hush, darling,” Aziraphale said, steel back in his voice - and Crowley hushed immediately. “I thought it time to break out the toy. Don’t you think?”
Aziraphale was reaching for the toy, and Crowley was watching with wide eyes as he very carefully slid the cock ring on him, easing it down, making sure it was tight. “The thing I like about this toy is that the cock ring, here,” he said, “will vibrate your dick, which will, of course, be crammed deep inside me. And this way, we both get a little vibratory stimulation on our prostates. Isn’t that nice?”
He bit his lip again. “Mhm.”
“Are you alright, darling?”
Crowley nodded. “Yeah. I am.”
“Very good,” Aziraphale said, then lubed the other part. “Relax for me, now, and I’ll do my part to help you relax.”
He bent again, taking Crowley’s cock into his mouth and sucking voraciously, making Crowley cry out. He cried out again when he felt the toy being slid inside his arsehole, deeper than Aziraphale’s fingers.
“Oh, God, angel… oh fuck…This is… Ah! Ah! Fuck, sweetheart… this is so good. Please, please… give me more…”
Aziraphale started bobbing faster, making an utterly filthy noise as he took him into the back of his throat - and then Crowley screamed when he felt the toy start vibrating in his arse and around his cock.
His head was rolling back and forth on the pillow, his eyes closed, his hands like talons on the duvet. He was begging, pleading with Aziraphale, although he didn’t know what he was begging for. More. Less. Everything. He had no idea, and it didn’t matter. He knew Aziraphale was going to take care of him - and then he was going to take care of Aziraphale.
There was one other thing he knew, though, and he figured that if he begged prettily enough, he might actually get it.
“Please, angel, please don’t edge me. I’ll do anything, I’ll fuck you so good, you’ll see. Please,” he sobbed. “Please, don’t edge me…”
That, it seemed, spurred Aziraphale into bastard mode. He took Crowley’s cock deeper, all the way into his throat, and Crowley screamed again when the toy started vibrating harder in him and around him.
“Sweetheart, please,” he sobbed. “Please, please… I need… Oh, God, please…”
Aziraphale pulled off and gave him the filthiest grin anyone ever had. “You know what to do, darling.”
He sure as shit did. In a series of rapid motions, he pushed Aziraphale off of him, got him into position on his hands and knees, and bent over to devour Aziraphale’s arsehole while he slicked himself.
“Yes! Yes, darling! Oh, I love when you eat me out, my love! Your tongue is so wicked! Yes! Yes!”
Crowley didn’t waste time: once he had his (vibrating) cock slicked, he stood up on his knees behind Aziraphale and lined his cock up. “You wanted me wild, angel, well, you got it,” he growled as he thrust home.
Aziraphale shouted to high heavens, arching his back, throwing his head onto his shoulders. “Yes! Yes, darling! Fuck me!”
“Hold on,” Crowley said, and that was the last thing he said before he started jackhammering into Aziraphale like some manner of madman.
Aziraphale was shrieking before him, begging and pleading and demanding and giving filthy praise. “Yes! Darling! Your dick is so fat and it fills me just right! It feels perfect inside me! Ah! Ah!”
Crowley could already sense himself scooting close to the edge. “How are the vibrations, angel?”
“Ah! Ah! They’re wonderful! Oh, God, I’m going to come before long! It’s too soon!”
“Not too soon for me,” Crowley growled, fucking him harder. “Touch yourself for me, sweetheart.”
One of Aziraphale’s hands disappeared, and he was certain he was using it to jerk himself off. “Darling! Please! Please! I’m close!”
“I am, too,” Crowley admitted through clenched teeth, hoping to hold on long enough. “Come for me, sweetheart. Make a mess of this ugly duvet for me, like a good boy.”
It took another few strokes, but Aziraphale shattered around him and under his hands, sobbing his release. His orgasm sent Crowley over the edge, and he came with a shout, his hands clenched tight in Aziraphale’s hips, his eyes closed and head thrown back, letting the orgasm course through his body like a fire tornado, setting his blood ablaze.
The next thing he knew, he and Aziraphale were lying beside each other on the bed. The toy had been partially removed - it was still around his cock but out of his arse - and had (thankfully) stopped vibrating. He was too out of breath and utterly spent to care much more about that at the moment, though. He was focused on his husband, who was beside him, panting just as hard as Crowley was.
He turned his head to smile at him. “You alright, sweetheart?”
“Mmm,” Aziraphale cooed. “I’m lovely, darling. Just as happy as I could possibly be.”
Crowley raised his hand and kissed it. “Good. I love you.”
“I love you, too, darling,” Aziraphale sighed, then rolled into Crowley’s side, cuddling close comfortably. “Was that good for you?”
“God almighty, yes,” he said. “It was… fuck. Yes. It was phenomenal. Where’d you get that toy?”
“I did a little shopping online,” Aziraphale said, coy.
“I just bet you did,” Crowley chuckled, then kissed his head. “God, I love you.”
“I should hope so.”
He chuckled again. “So I reckon you’ll be doing a lot more online shopping, to decorate the cottage.”
“Bold of you to assume I haven’t already started.”
“Yeah, that was kinda bold. Have you got some ideas, then? Stuff in the cart?”
“I do, indeed,” Aziraphale said, then Crowley felt a thrill when he gave the bastard smile. “The walls are going to be yellow, and I have every bit of tartan I could find in my cart.”
“Why you-”
Aziraphale shrieked again when Crowley attacked, tickling him silly. But the tickling didn’t last long before the two of them were kissing luxuriously, blissfully happy and together in their new (old) little cottage with the ugly, freshly stained duvet.
