Chapter Text
Colin woke feeling warm, rested and calm. He felt a weight shift off of his chest, leaving him feeling cold and wanting. His eyes drifted open and the events from the day slowly started to trickle back to him. He looked over to the window and saw it was now dark outside. During the night, they both kept reaching for each other when they woke, lips and hands seeking the taste and touch of each other. They made love at least 3 more times until they were both spent. Well, 3 and a half if he counted when he woke her with his head buried between her legs, coaxing more pleasure from her as she shattered against his mouth once more. Colin couldn’t get enough of his wife. All he wanted to do was show her over and over again how much he loved her. He knew he had been so cold and distant with her leading up to the wedding and after as well, and he felt that he had to rectify the situation in one of the most intimate ways he knew how.
Being with Pen made Colin realize that sex without intimacy was meaningless. Well, at least, for him it was. All this time, he felt his sexual encounters with other women while pleasurable left him feeling hollow and empty. But, he was too blinded by the expectations of society and what he thought he should be for others all his life. He was so blind to what was really important to him all along — Penelope.
Whistledown still hung over them as a reminder that not everything was resolved, but at least he knew one thing for certain: he would not abandon the woman he loved. Not physically, and certainly not emotionally. Whatever happened, they would deal with it — together.
He turned his head to look at his wife who laid opposite him. She had turned away in her sleep and was curled on her side with a bed sheet only covering her lower half. The room was dark now, but the moonlight shining through the window illuminated the soft contours of Penelope’s back. She sighed in her sleep and he turned on his side as well, sliding closer to her, and gently placed a kiss on her shoulder. He used the tips of his fingers to trace the shape of her back causing her to sigh and shift again, mumbling something unintelligible as she relaxed back into her sleep.
Her messy red waves spilled behind her as she slept, and her lips were slightly parted as she breathed softly, still in a deep sleep. Colin gently placed his arm over her waist and drew them closer, tangling his legs with hers, cuddling her from behind as he breathed in her comforting scent, and they laid like that for a little while longer.
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Penelope woke from her dreamless sleep and found her body wrapped around Colin’s in a warm embrace. Her back was flattened against his chest, his hand laying on her stomach. His mouth was so close to her that when he released slow and heavy breaths from sleep, she felt it brush against her ear sending a shiver down her spine all the way to her toes.
She suddenly felt a familiar sensation signaling her need to use the chamberpot. Penelope twisted to look back at Colin, whose face was relaxed and serene in his sleep. She smiled to herself, liking that for once since finding out about Whistledown, the worry lines between his brows were gone, and his stoic expression was replaced with one that reminded her of what Colin must have looked like as a boy. Completely at ease and without worry.
Disentangling herself from Colin was no easy feat. She shifted her legs slowly from his, and gently removed his hand from her side. He huffed out a breath that made her pause, and then when he continued breathing deeply and rhythmically again, she slowly but swiftly extricated herself from their bed. She looked for her robe, but couldn’t find it anywhere, so she opted for one of Colin’s button up shirts instead. His shirt was billowy and covered her curvy body well, but she was swimming in the length of it as it went well past her knees. She wrapped the front closed and inhaled his warm, woodsy scent as she went into the lavatory to relieve herself.
When she returned, Colin was still out like a light, but he must have shifted in his sleep because he was laying on his back now, one hand above his head and the other resting across his chest. Colin’s lower half was tangled with the white linen sheets, and the top of the cover just grazed his pelvis revealing the firm muscles of his stomach, and the sturdiness of his chest. She sighed to herself as she took a moment to admire her husband’s attractive physique while he slept.
As she climbed back into bed, he began to stir and his dark blue eyes opened, settling on her as she laid facing him, curling back into his chest. His arm reached for her waist to bring her closer to him. He groaned as she threaded her legs with his and ran her hands up his chest. Penelope said quietly, “Good morning, Mr. Bridgerton.”
“Good morning, Mrs. Bridgerton,” he hummed a smirk playing on his lips. His eyes were still heavy with sleep, but there was also a tenderness there that made her heart squeeze and then swell with love.
“It’s still dark out. I’m afraid we slept through our wedding night…” she said teasingly. She absentmindedly began tracing her finger on his chest, caressing his chest hairs between them as she went.
In response, his fingers began lightly tracing the curve of her waist and her back. She sighed as Colin smiled a little devilishly and said, “Hmm, I don’t seem to remember sleeping much last night.”
Penelope grinned as he caressed her nose with his. She glowed with happiness in that moment, and wished they could just lay like this forever. All she wanted was to briefly freeze time, so they could stay here for as long as possible, because reality was sure to return eventually, banging on their door. Pen still had no clue what she was going to do about the Queen’s bounty on Whistledown, but she decided she would make the most of this brief moment of bliss while she could.
She looked down from him then, a little nervous. Her eyes returned to his, and she gently caress his jaw with her finger. She asked, “So, last night was good for you then?”
His eyes softened and he said seriously, “Last night was the most perfect end to an otherwise perfect day. It was the best night of my life. Nothing compares.”
Penelope gave a small mischievous smile, and said jokingly, “Not even the women in Paris?”
He barked a laugh and said, “No, absolutely not.”
Penelope’s heart felt so full that she thought it might crack open with happiness. “You don’t regret anything then?”
“What would I have to regret?” He asked incredulously.
“Well, if the Queen is successful, and does find out my identity, then… I just worry that…you may never get to fulfill your dream of publishing your own writing.”
“Pen, that is the least of my worries. I wouldn’t even have that dream if it weren’t for you.”
“Colin, I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t do what you want with your life because of me,” Penelope said, a wrinkle of worry forming between her brows.
Colin took his finger and smoothed the skin between her brows. He said softly, “If the only thing I do in my life is love you…then I will be a very fulfilled man.”
“Colin…” Her eyes brimmed with tears at his romantic but sincere words. She reached up to kiss him slowly, unable to respond with words. Her body was halfway laying across his chest, their skin warm where they touched. He groaned softly, deepening their kiss. Before she lost her nerve, she broke their kiss and asked, “I only ask because, well, do you think I could read more of your writing?”
He groaned, feigning frustration. “Pen, I wasn’t done yet,” he said, referring to their heated kiss.
She giggled as she rested her chin on his chest and kicked her feet up behind her. She said teasingly, “You did promise me that you would…”
“No, I said I would ‘consider’ it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Please? You write so well, and I would love to read more,” she said encouragingly.
Colin looked away from her then and said in a shy voice, “Pen, some of what I wrote is not appropriate for you to read.”
She smirked knowing he was referring to his descriptions about the women he slept with. “I’ll have you know, I actually enjoyed those parts from what I remember.”
Colin groaned, and he swiftly flipped them over so he was pressed on top of her. He gave her a heated kiss, and Penelope almost forgot about what they were talking about completely. He pulled back, and noticed he was blushing. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, following the curve of his ear. “So, can I? Please?” she asked tentatively.
He groaned again, but this time grabbed her hand and turned his face to tenderly kiss her palm before he leaped off the bed, still completely naked, and stalked out of their bedroom. She heard him rifle through his desk, and returned with his journal. She bit her lip, feeling her body flush with desire as she was momentarily distracted by his nakedness.
She mentally shook off her naughty thoughts as he collapsed back into bed with her. He sat up and leaned his back against the headboard as he flipped through the pages of his journal, trying to find something he thought good enough for her to read. His mouth crinkled in the corner as he searched — his tell-tale sign that he was a little nervous.
Penelope waited patiently, and finally, he handed her his journal which was open to a page dated August 23, 1813. She grinned, not able to contain her giddiness, and he said cautiously, “It hasn’t been edited, so please forgive me if it isn’t written the best.”
She nodded, not wanting to contradict him in case it might scare him away. She sat up then and wrapped his shirt that she was still wearing around her. His hand caressed her back and he leaned forward to plant a kiss at her clothed shoulder.
“Are you trying to distract me?” she said playfully.
He immediately leaned back. “Sorry,” he said, running a nervous hand through his hair.
She went back to her reading where he was describing his trek to the Voidomatis River in Greece. When she smiled at one point, he sat up and said, “Oh, that’s Gordon. He was the one who—” He stopped at her narrowed expression. “Sorry,” he said, again.
He was so adorable that she smiled, and said comfortingly, “Would it help if you looked away or maybe turned around?”
He nodded, and she was able to finish 2 pages. She stopped and looked up to find him staring intently at her. She laughed, “Colin, you were supposed to distract yourself.”
“I am looking at a perfectly beautiful distraction right now,” he said cheekily.
Penelope blushed and instead replied, “I stopped reading because I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to read further. But, Colin, this is very good. You truly have a voice and an easy way with words, which is hard to do.
“But, I was wondering if you could explain this part to me a little more. I was a little unclear on…” and she and Colin spent the rest of the early hours of the morning editing those couple of pages in his journal. They even migrated to his desk, as he rewrote some of his passages and they discussed the roaring rapids of Voidomatis River, and the proper uses of alliteration.
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Morning light began to stream through the window. Colin had managed to pull on a pair of trousers, but was too absorbed to remember to button them all the way. She found it slightly distracting as she eyed the lean muscles of his chest and stomach, and how they dipped into a delicious v-shape into his trousers. But, then he would look at her, eyes wide with wonder and question as he was completely immersed in his work, and she forced herself to push away those thoughts for later.
A short while later, Colin leaned back, relaxing into his chair and grabbed her wrist gently tugging her to sit in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, the motion so natural to her now. His hands tugged her hips closer and he caressed her nose with his. “How did I get so lucky?” he purred.
Penelope wove one of her hands into his soft hair, which was still mussed from all of their love making, sleeping, and now writing. She couldn’t imagine being any happier than she was at that moment. She remembered how just yesterday she experienced true joy and also deep sorrow and grief at the possibility of losing Colin. But, now, she never felt more secure and safe and loved. Penelope had never felt so seen in all of her life, and she too felt so immensely lucky. She replied, “I think it is me who is the lucky one.”
He laughed softly, “Let’s agree to disagree. I just meant…I am so glad that I woke up in time to realize my feelings for you. I never thought I would find someone who makes me feel so comfortable and appreciated. And I never imagined I could be this intimate with anyone.”
Her heart warmed, but she tilted her head in question at his last statement. “You are much more experienced than I am. I thought you had been intimate with plenty of women before me.”
He chuckled, his arms wrapping more tightly around her, “First of all, I wouldn’t say I have been with ‘plenty of women.’ You make me sound like a rake.” She raised an eyebrow at him. Sheepishly he said, “Ok, ok. But, second, I was never intimate with those women, at least not in the way I am with you. With you, it’s different.”
Penelope had only ever been with Colin, who was one of her first true friends, her first love, and her first everything really. She had never felt this level of emotional connection, so she could not imagine being able to be physically intimate with a person without it.
He continued, “Before, when you read my writing without my permission, I felt vulnerable, exposed. I had never shown anyone that side of me before. I think that’s why I was so upset at first. But, with you, I feel like I can share all of myself with you, tell you my most private thoughts, and you will understand me. You see me. I mean, really see me.” He shook his head sheepishly. “I don’t know if I’m making any sense.”
She cupped his jaw and lifted his eyes back to hers. “I feel the same. I mean, for me, I have always felt invisible, like I didn’t really matter. But…Colin, I have loved you for years and sometimes I feel like I’m living a fairytale or a dream…but I’ve also never felt closer to anyone, or felt as safe as I feel with you.” And it was true, she realized. Despite her earlier fears yesterday, she knew Colin’s love for her was real and that he would never truly abandon her. Even when he was cross with her, he would always be by her side, supporting her and loving her, just as she would do for him.
His eyes softened and he pulled her into a loving kiss that slowly became heated and left them both breathless. Their kiss was smoldering and ignited a fire of desire within the pit of Penelope’s heart that traveled all the way down between her thighs. “I love those little sounds you make.” His voice was deep and husky with lust. She had no idea what he was talking about, but pulled his mouth back to hers, her back arching into him, wanting to press herself as close as possible to him. He growled, the sound so deep, she felt it reverberate through his chest and into hers.
Colin lifted her swiftly — one arm under her legs, and the other wrapping around her back. He didn’t break their passionate kiss as he carried her back to their bed. Her hands moved between his hair and shoulders, trying to pull him even closer. She thought she heard herself softly whimper each time their tongues brushed each other. The touch was so sensual and good, she couldn’t help herself. Maybe these are the sounds he was referring to? she thought, hazily.
He lowered her to their bed with heartbreaking gentleness. He pulled her shirt — or his shirt, rather — over her head, leaving her completely naked. His eyes briefly roved over her body, admiring, and stopping to linger on her breasts. At first, she would feel self-conscious when he would do this, but now, she felt powerful and emboldened by the adoration and lust that filled his eyes. She bit her lip, and she put her arms behind her as she leaned back and stuck out her breasts just a little to tease him.
Colin growled animalistically, and immediately moved over her body, pushing her back against the bed. His elbow bent near her head, and he pressed his body to hers as her legs wrapped around his waist pulling him to her. He felt himself at her entrance, and groaned at how wet she already was. Penelope lifted her hips foward, causing the tip of him to rub against her entrance. She pulled at his back and shoulders wanting him inside her already, but he paused above her. She let out a bark of frustration that Colin seemed to find amusing, and stilled her hips by pressing his firmly against hers, his member rubbing her. She gave him a wild look, and he smirked. He was teasing her, no, torturing her. Then, finally, he began to ease himself inside her.
Penelope’s eyes rolled back, and she let out soft cry as he slid deeper and deeper inside her. She felt herself stretching wide for him to make room for his considerable size. Once he was all the way in, she tried to move her hips again, needing to feel him move inside her, needing more friction. But, he paused again. His breath was coming in more rapidly as he gazed into her eyes, and she felt locked into its intensity, unable to look away. Both of their mouths were open to each other, breathing in each other’s breaths. He never broke eye contact with her as he began to slowly pump in and out of her. He was savoring her, she realized. She moaned so loudly, then. And a crescendo started to build within her.
One hand gripped his shoulder and the other clutched his back as he made love to her slowly, sweetly, lovingly. She looked up into two pools of deep ocean blue, and then his lips lowered to hers into a scorching kiss. He kissed her slowly, passionately, like they had all of the time in the world. He took her lip between her teeth and she cried out because the pleasure was almost too much. “Harder,” she commanded against his lips.
With a devilish smirk, he said, “As you wish, my love.” He then drew his hips further back and slammed into a force that had her crying out, moaning his name loudly. She arched her back and her nipples brushed against his chest as he moved steadily over her. He groaned at the sensation, his jaw clenching as he restrained himself, trying to stretch out her pleasure as much as he could. She threw her head against the bed, eyes rolling back.
She felt the love between them grow and swell. It was like her entire body was alight with it, and she felt her eyes burn as her emotions became overwhelming.
“Penelope,” he moaned.
Then, he reached between them and he rubbed a calloused finger against her sensitive bundle of nerves. The friction was enough to send her over the edge, and release exploded through her. She hugged him to her, her teeth sinking into his shoulder to stifle her cries. He growled and his thrusts became more urgent and erratic. She felt him throb, and then spill inside of her, moaning her name over and over again.
He collapsed on top of her, his head resting in the crook of her neck as they both caught their breath. As she caressed the hairs at the nape of his neck, the late morning sun streamed brightly into their room. She kissed Colin’s shoulder, noticing her red teeth marks on him. Penelope turned her head and whispered into his ear, lips brushing his skin, “I love you.”
Colin lifted his head above hers, his hair looked wild and it stuck up in odd places, likely from their passionate lovemaking. She couldn’t tell if his face was glowing from their lovemaking or if it was from the radiance of the late morning sun. Either way, he was beautiful, and he was hers. “I love you too, Pen.”