Chapter Text
They awoke slowly, together, as bright rays of sun shone through their windows. The flat was chilly, the tiniest pinpricks of cold working along Steven’s skin where he was uncovered by the blankets.
Steven reached to cover them both once again, the movement making his layers of clothing, then Marc’s, brush against his skin. He only then remembered how they fell asleep in their clothes, late into the night with the sweetness of their confessions spun through the air.
“Marc,” Steven called, tugging on Marc’s loose shirt as he sat up.
Marc hummed, cracking open his eyes to look at Steven. It seemed to take his mind a few seconds to catch up to the moment they were in, but an ethereally bright smile lit up his face when it did, as though realizing Steven loved him all over again.
“Steven,” Marc spoke with reverence, eyes alight with unrestricted love, and Steven was sure nothing in the world could have made a prettier sight. “I love you.”
The words were quiet, pushed through a tentative haze of ‘was it a dream’, ‘did he mean it’, ‘was it even real’.
“I love you, too, Marc,” Steven replied softly, and he thought he should try to learn more languages, because English didn’t have a word strong enough for what he felt for Marc.
He took in Marc’s sweet expression, his loving gaze directed at Steven as though he was taking him in for the first time truly.
Steven caught his attention again when his hand tugged against the fabric surrounding Marc, insistent.
“Marc, take this off,” Steven commanded, undoing the buttons on the pyramid-patterned shirt, that he would now forever associate with the sound of the first time Marc told him he loved him, the first time he knew he felt the same.
“Y’not gonna take me to dinner first?” Marc joked, tugging his shirt off in the attractive way Steven never figured out how to do.
“Later,” Steven yawned, tossing off his trousers, ignoring wherever they landed in favor of burrowing back under the blankets. “Both of those, later.”
He grinned at Marc’s sound of shock, and wrapped his arms back around the man, warm and safe and oh-so-loving. They put off starting their morning, choosing instead to appricate in each other’s sunlight, to bask in the warmth they shared, the love that was blissfully out in the open.
Steven’s mind worked slowly that morning, exhausted from months of carefully choosing his words, of diligently hiding his expression, of holding back the most endearing pet name he died to call Marc.
A thought bubbled to the surface after minutes of silence, a creeping confusion that lived in his mind since it happened, a question he had never found the time nor place to ask.
“Why did you come back for me?” The question was quiet, curiosity outweighing the self deprecation the words could have held.
“Hm?”
Steven tried again, searching for the right words, trying to put sentences to the nameless confusion that spun for ages in the back of his mind.
“When we died.” The sentiment still sent a chill through him, and he felt Marc hold him tighter as Steven burrowed closer. “You were in the field of reeds. You had no obligation to die there with me, you could have had eternal happiness. Why would you give that up?”
His voice pitched toward indignance then, at the very idea that Marc wouldn’t get his heaven after everything he had been though, after all that he was.
Marc pulled Steven closer, hiding the most painfully vulnerable words where his cheek was pressed to Steven’s curls.
“What good would it have been without you?” Marc asked, as though the answer was obvious. As though the declaration wasn’t enough to make Steven start crying. Steven choked on a sob at the words, Hands clutching tight at Marc, and he held him just as fast, steady and comforting. And he kept speaking.
“I would have spent the rest of eternity regretting it if it meant leaving you there.” Steven pretended not to notice the catch in Marc’s breath, the stutter of his chest as he spoke a final sentence that was enough to shatter Steven’s heart in the loveliest way.
“Paradise would have meant nothing without you.”
Steven couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, mind spinning around nothing at all as he processed the words.
Then a sob broke from him, chest heaving and painful, as he choked on the weight of his love.
“Oh, gods, Marc,” Steven cried, nails surely digging in where he held Marc tight. Worry shot through Marc, fear that he’d said something wrong, that he’d found a way to ruin things impossibly like he always managed.
“I love you.” No words had ever been so heavy, no words had ever held so much love within them, and Steven was sure he would never be able to say it enough. The words would never hold enough of his emotion, his eyes could never pour it all forth, his tongue could never form declarations that held the weight of his heart. But he would try anyway, for the rest of the eternity he had with Marc.
“I love you,” Marc responded, choked and grief-filled, as though holding the months of agony within them, as though mourning Steven’s death all over again. As though letting go of the last of the pain that hiding his love for Steven had fostered in him.
They repeated it, over and over, the air filled with sweet sentiments of their adoration, and they were both sure the world had never spun so smoothly.
***
They spent the day in bed, laid side by side, and taking in the reality that they truly were together. Morning turned into day as they lay together, comfortable and lax, and neither moved to start their day in any substantial way.
Easy conversations passed between them, quiet words breaking the silence every so often, each word drawing them closer, as there were finally, blissfully, no barriers between them. Every few minutes, Steven would speak up, bringing forth an idea that resided in his mind for so long, and Marc would give him nothing but the most honest response in return.
Steven shot up after a long silence, eyes open wide like he came to a startling realization, and he had Marc’s full attention. Steven turned to face him, a smile alight with glee adorning his face, and his voice was both elated and embarrassed as he spoke.
“Oh, Marc, does this mean I can make love to you now?” Marc sputtered a response at the ask, choking on the air he breathed as he tried to find an answer.
“Please? Marc, I’ve wanted to for so long, you have no idea,” Steven pleaded, looking imploringly into Marc’s wide eyes, and Marc finally realized there was no reason to hide his want for Steven.
“Of course,” Marc agreed, breathless like it was the first time all over again, and Steven was over him in an instant.
Steven braced himself above Marc, pausing only an inch away from his lips, as he realized-
“We haven’t kissed yet.” At Marc’s confused expression, he elaborated. “Since… since everything, we haven’t kissed yet.”
Marc sat up slowly, Steven making space for him easily, and he cupped Steven’s soft cheeks in his palms. He leaned forward, stopping a centimeter from pressing his lips to Steven’s.
“May I?” he asked, voice low and sweet, and Steven barely restrained the beg that fought to flow forth at the question.
“Please,” He responded, quiet and wanting, and who was Marc to deny him?
They met each other gently, lips pressed together softly, and it was the sweetest thing either of them had ever felt. Their hearts felt intertwined at the touch, love flowing easily between them as they luxuriated in each other’s proximity.
Marc's hands slid gently over Steven’s exposed skin, warm palms setting a trail of heat along his sides, careful fingers curling around the nape of Steven’s neck, holding him close.
Steven wound a hand through Marc’s curls, a gentle hold where it lay, but heat rushed through Marc’s body at the roughness he knew Steven was capable of in his grip. He held Marc’s hip with the other, nimble fingers, caressing softly at his skin in a way that made Marc shudder.
They separated, chest heaving with lost breaths, and Steven’s hands tightened ever so slightly where they held Marc. He couldn’t imagine separating any further from him, even for a moment. The way he and Marc intertwined, the softness of Marc’s skin, made not touching him a torture in its own right.
“Can we? Please, love?” He had already asked, had already gotten a yes, but he needed it again, needed to be sure, needed to hear the lovely words, if for no other reason than just to hear them.
“Yes, Steven. I want you,” Marc pressed a gentle kiss to Steven’s neck, lifting his chin slightly to reach, and Steven knew having Marc under him would feel so much different then.
Steven tilted his head to the side, giving Marc space to trail kisses up and down his skin.
“How do you want it, love?” Steven asked, breathless and relaxed. Marc paused for a moment, considering, before he looked up to focus on Steven.
“Can I…” Marc paused, wide brown eyes focused up on Steven, and a wave of want washed over Steven. “Can I fuck you? Please?”
Marc’s sweet voice was so gentle, pleading for permission, and Steven knew he would give Marc anything if he asked like that.
“Of course, my love,” Steven responded, hands cupping Marc’s cheeks gently. “Come on.”
Steven lifted himself carefully off Marc, settling in the center of the bed, and watched Marc follow. Marc paused to grab a pillow next to Steven’s head, having more than plenty to choose from, and wrapped a gentle hand around Steven’s hip.
“Lift up for me, Steven?” A sweet request, voice soft and sweet, and Marc arranged the pillow under Steven’s hips when he complied.
“Thank you, baby,” Marc spoke, pressing a gentle kiss to Steven’s hip above his boxers, hooking his fingers gently under them.
“Can I?” Always so kind, movements light when they pull the fabric down Steven’s legs, discarding them uncaringly. He reached to the bedside table, grabbing lube to slick his fingers as he settled between Steven’s thighs.
The thought occurred to him that it felt awfully close to supplication, blissfully submissive, and he noted that he would have to ask Steven at some point if he could suck him off, stay on his knees for hours, just because it meant being of service to Steven.
The thought was welcomed, the idea of being ‘of service’ unmarred by self doubt, cushioned by the knowledge that he would be enough for Steven regardless.
Marc’s hand delved between Steven’s legs, gentle fingers filling him slowly, and Steven luxuriated in the lovely touch even as his body begged for more.
Steven reached a hand up, fingers threading easily through the curls at the base of Marc’s neck as he pulled him closer. Marc caught himself on an arm, submission in his eyes as he easily moved wherever Steven wanted him.
“Yes,” Steven drew out the word, chin tilting up when Marc’s fingers easily found the spot that made him see stars. “Fuck, that’s it, love.”
Marc hid his responding moan, sweet and high, in the skin of Steven’s throat, placing gentle kisses there as he worked Steven open with two, three fingers. His hands were so gentle, where they touched Steven. Soft and careful in their hold, as though Steven was something precious, something to be revered.
Steven gently tightened his grip in Marc’s hair, holding him close, letting Marc’s tongue lave gently over his skin, as though he wanted to take in Steven in every way he was allowed. His mind purred with ownership, veins thrumming with the thrill of simple possession, and it struck him suddenly that he was allowed to voice it all.
“Marc, my love, all mine.” The hand wound through Marc’s hair pulled tighter, holding him close where his lips met Steven skin. Marc moaned at the words, hips jerking forward uselessly, and Steven had never in his life wanted something so desperately.
The longer they breathed in each other’s air, the more addicted Steven became, and he couldn’t help but love it, love Marc, completely.
“Come on, Marc, fuck me. I wanna feel it, love, I want you,” Steven’s voice cracked at the saccharine knowledge that he would never again have to quiet the extent of his desire.
Marc moaned, fingers still working inside Steven, so thorough even as he was so hard it hurt.
“You sure, baby? You’re ready?” So caring, so sweet, Steven had no idea how he was so lucky.
“Yes, darling, I want you, please,” Steven begged, a gentle whine leaving his lips when Marc pulled his fingers from him, leaving him empty and wanting, and reached to slick his length.
“Yeah, baby, whatever you want, anything you want,” Marc’s words were helpless, torn from him unbidden, the extent of his devotion unfurling before him, and there was nothing he could do to keep the words from spilling from him.
He moved Steven’s legs gently, making space for him to easily slide into him. They both moaned out with the feeling, weeks without the divine feeling leaving them both painfully sensitive, and they both hungered to feel more.
Marc’s hips met Steven’s, strong thighs wrapping around his waist in return, and he breathed out an open moan.
“Fuck, Steven-” Steven rolled his hips up at the sound, hands clutching at the sheets, palms empty of what he needed most.
“Marc, love, come here, please.” Steven turned his palms up, grasping at Marc’s form once it was in reach, and pulled him down to press close to Steven. “Marc, love, all mine,” Steven spoke mindlessly, body run through with ownership as Marc’s hips stuttered forward desperately at the words.
Steven grinned at the feeling, self-satisfied and hungry.
“You’re my love, aren’t you?” It was a statement and a plea, a declaration and a beg to hear it said back to him. The words had Marc falling forward, face hidden in Steven’s neck where he hid his shameful responding moan.
“Yes, Steven, all yours, I promise,” Marc agreed, voice high and thready, and Steven held him desperately close at the confirmation.
“Yeah?” A nod, a kiss placed to his skin, “Come on, my love, fuck me.”
Marc wanted to be nothing if he wasn’t of service, wanted to do anything, everything, for Steven, and he was all too quick to do as Steven said. Marc moved slowly, Steven canting his hips to meet Marc’s every thrust, beautiful sounds filling the warm air around them.
“Yes, that’s it, love,” Steven moaned, word spilling freely from his lips, “I love you so much, Marc.”
Marc’s hips snapped forward at the words, a choked moan falling from his throat as he finally let that dam break, let that barrier be taken down, let that wall be dismantled, as he let everything he wanted to say for so long roll off his tongue.
“I love you, Steven, I love you so much.” The admissions were accompanied by needy thrusts, filling Steven again and again, pushing deeper into him even after their hips met, as though not even filling him completely could be enough.
“Yes, love, oh gods, I love you so much,” Steven cried out, a hand fisted possessively in Marc’s hair.
“Fuck, please, baby,” Marc cried out, a sob in his voice as his hips met Steven’s again and again, desperate hands clutching at Steven’s skin, covetous grip pulling him closer and closer, “I’ll do anything for you, baby, I swear, I love you so much, I love you-” He was cut off by another cry, pleasure welling in his throat until it pushed into needy sobs.
Steven’s moans filled the air in response, every beautiful sound that left Marcs soft lips serving to send a thrill through him, every gorgeous moan magnifying the pleasure, every sweet cry that left him tightening his muscles, wringing more lovely noises from Marc until it was a never-ending cycle that Steven was sure would destroy him.
“I love you, Marc, fuck I love you so much, please!” Steven claws at Marc’s back, insistent hands raking red lines down his smooth skin, and it only made Marc sob harder against him, devastating pleasure burning through him. Marc was sure it would ruin him, knew nothing short of Steven’s open love could ever bring him pleasure again, knew he was hurtling toward the edge far too fast, knew he wanted to stay drowned in all-consuming pleasure for hours longer, forever, until he forgot what anything else had ever felt like.
He wanted to moan Steven’s name until he knew how to say nothing else, wanted to run his hands over Steven’s tanned skin until he forgot what anything else felt like, wanted to fuck into Steven until he was sure he was made for it, for the sole purpose of making Steven sing his name.
“Gods, please, love, I’m so close,” Steven cried out, words devolving into unintelligible moans when the words had Marc pushing into him even harder.
“Yes, yes, yes, please, baby, please,” Marc babbled, uncaring of the sounds that fell from him, chasing his pleasure, Steven’s release, with every movement, “Please, I need it, please come for me, baby-”
Marc’s pleading was cut off by a wrecked sob when Steven pulled him down, tight, crushing Marc’s chest against his.
“I love you, Marc, I love you so much,” Steven moaned out, voice breaking under the weight of his pleasure, and he came helplessly, untouched, as Marc thrusted again and again into that spot that made Steven’s vision white out.
Steven clamped down when he came, body a vice around Marc’s length, and tears rolled over Marc’s cheeks at the torrent of pleasure as he came. He kept moving, filling Steven again and again, drawing out their pleasure as the oversensitivity turned blissfully painful.
Marc’s movements slowed to a still, unmoving where rested comfortably against the man he loved.
Steven lay under him, hand running gently through Marc’s hair as he caught his breath.
“I love you,” He reminded, filter nonexistent, words pushed from the sweet need for that moment to be unlike any other. Unlike every time before, where their pleasure faded into the painful realization that it was torturously ephemeral. Unlike every moment of their past where they were certain the other wouldn’t feel so sweetly toward them.
“I love you so much, Marc, my sweet love, I always will,” Steven whispered, bathing in the lovely feeling of being able to dress Marc in his adoration.
“I love you,” Marc responded, voice muffled where his cheek was pressed to Steven’s skin, tongue heavy with exhaustion, but he kept speaking, “I love you so much, Steven, I always have, I swear I’ll love you forever.”
Steven held him a bit tighter at the word, the quietest worry that it, too, could be temporary being silenced.
“Forever,” Steven repeated, voice full of the purest love.
They were both filthy, and their sheets surely needed to be changed, but it could wait. They had all the time in the world, he knew. Cleaning up could wait until they woke up, he thought, as he drifted off, draped in the comforting weight of the man he knew he would love eternally.
***
“I don't understand why you love me.” Steven’s words met Marc’s ears, and for a heartbreaking moment he thought it was a goodbye. But he looked over, taking in Steven’s expression, and saw only confusion in his eyes. As though every lovely thing about Steven was not on constant display.
“Would you like a list?” Marc spoke, voice gentle and teasing. Steven gave a small laugh at the question, as though it was absurd that anyone could have so many reasons. But he didn’t tell Marc no, didn’t reject the offer of affection, so Marc gave it.
“You’re so kind. You’re always so nice to everyone you meet, like you’ve made it your job to make the world a better place just by being in it.”
Steven’s expression twisted to a frown of disagreement, but Marc kept going, speaking over any dissent Steven may have tried to put forth.
“You’re so caring. You’re always so good to me, you always treat me so nicely, even though I know I don’t deserve it-”
Steven started to speak a rebuttal then, and Marc held up a hand, asking for pause, as he found the right words.
“I’m working on it, okay? I’m getting there, just… takes time.” The words were spoken through gritted teeth, as though every move that dismantled his self hatred was a struggle, and Steven had never been more proud of him.
“You’re so fucking good, all the time, it feels like my heart’s gonna burst. You’re perfect, Steven, and-”
He was properly cut off then, Steven’s words coming out woeful and downtrodden, as though it was a fact of life he wished were untrue.
“I’m not perfect-”
“Shh, I wasn’t done.” That garnered a laugh from Steven, and the soft smile was enough for Marc to keep speaking. “You’re always so expressive, so open with what you feel and what you mean.” He ignored the months of hidden love, noting it as an exception to the rule. “I’ve never had to guess with you, I’ve never had to fix my face, or fix my tone, or act like I’m not me around you.”
The words were filled with appreciation, wells of thankfulness pouring from them, and Steven’s response was instantaneous.
“Of course, I’d never want you to change, Marc. I love you just as you are.” The words were spoken as though they were so obvious, a simple truth written on the walls of the world, and Marc felt tears spring to his eyes at the declaration.
They looked at each other for an inordinate amount of time, Marc taking in every beautiful feature of Steven’s, the way his eyes shone, his soft smile, his tan skin that glowed golden in the sunlight he emanated, his soft hair arranged messily in beautiful curls.
“You’re beautiful, Steven,” Marc spoke, voice full of awe and reverence, and his heart stuttered at the quiet blush his words earned him.
“We look the same,” Steven replied, voice a mumble of self-consciousness as he averted his gaze. Marc simply shook his head in response, eyes lovingly roving over each and every one of Steven’s lovely features, all so different from his own.
“Not anymore, we don’t.”
The soft love in his voice, the simple adoration, would never lose its novelty, Steven was sure.
“I love you,” Steven whispered, voice sweet as honey and soft as silk as it met Marc’s ears.
“I love you, too,” Marc responded, chest alight with glee, and they both silently wondered how soon was too soon to buy matching gold wedding bands.
The ease with which the want came astounded them both, but neither minded waiting; they had the rest of forever to be together.