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Loud.
It was too loud everywhere.
Fives felt his thoughts racing through his mind as they were coming back from their mission. From this terrible mission. The generals might have considered it a success, they finally had the information they needed... but for him, it was the biggest failure that had ever happened in his military career so far.
He felt that he wouldn't be able to stay around people for too long. His brothers' voices blended into one incomprehensible gibberish for him. Some of them patted him sympathetically on the shoulder and said something, but he didn't answer. He couldn't. He kept a straight face until the mission was completed, but everyone has their limits. He felt more and more overwhelmed by the passing moments. The adrenaline that kept his senses focused slowly faded away, and in its place came fatigue and a full understanding of what had actually happened. He felt his chest squeezed by an overwhelming emptiness, sadness... In one moment he felt more lonely than ever in his life. He felt his heart rate quicken and he struggled to keep his weight on his legs.
Too loud. He needs silence... He needs to get out of here.
Fives almost blindly made his way to the back of the ship, where there was almost no one there. He sat down on some random box and took a shaky breath into his aching lungs.
He was grateful that no one asked him anything, because he wouldn't have been able to answer with a lump in his throat anyway. It was hard for him to breathe properly. Slowly, his emotions began to overwhelm him and eat him from the inside. He clutched his helmet, which he held on his lap, so as not to show how much he was shaking. It all seemed unreal, impossible. It couldn't be true...
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, but he quickly regretted it...
He saw that terrible scene again. Fire, dust and smog everywhere...
If he had been faster, smarter then... maybe then his twin would still be alive...
Fives felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
Echo...
Echo was with him all his life. They grew up together, trained together, were accepted into the ranks of the 501st Legion together. They survived the worst together, fought so many battles, even when they lost almost all their brothers in one day, they were still together, the two of them, inseparable.
And now Fives had nothing. And he felt that it was all his fault.
The last thing he could see was his brother's burnt helmet, surrounded by clouds of smoke and fire.
He wanted to run right after him, save him, he was ready to throw himself into the flames and share the fate of his beloved brother, but he was stopped. He hardly remembered how Rex had pulled him away, insisting that they had to go, that there was nothing he could do... Fives had shouted something at him, but he didn't remember what it was exaclty... Right after that, they were back in the swing of a battle. Everything was happening so fast... He didn't even have time to put his thoughts together properly.
But Echo was no longer with him.
He should have gone back there. Take his body... or at least what's left of it. Why did he leave him there? Why..?
"Oh Echo... I failed you, vod'ika... I failed you."
Fives whispered to himself, almost inaudibly. He knew that no one would hear him because he was sitting in a remote part of the ship they all were returning from the Citadel. He put down his head, resting his weight on his helmet, which he gripped tighter and tighter. He let tears stream down his face.
He was supposed to protect him. He promised that they would get through this together, no matter what.
He failed.
All he was left with was tears and an unimaginable emptiness in his heart, as if he had lost a part of himself. Because in fact he did. Echo was his other half, his twin. He will never be the same without him...
Fives didn't know how long he sat there, huddled in himself and lost in his sadness, but at one moment he felt a strong hand gently touch his shoulder, squeezing a little to get his attention. Fives didn't have the strength to hide his tears, it was obvious that he felt terrible, there was no point in denying it. He slowly raised his head to look at the person who wanted to comfort him and saw the familiar face of his Captain. Or rather, an older brother.
Rex was always supportive and protective of Fives and Echo. He could sense when something was wrong and comforted them when they returned from their first mission with just the two of them. He took them under his wing and surrounded them with brotherly love and care, they became very close and had mutual respect and trust.
And now Fives was alone... but Rex didn't left him.
Tears immediately flowed from the younger clone's eyes as he saw the genuine concern, compassion, and pain on his brother's face. He didn't have the strength to hide them anymore, he couldn't... and he knew he didn't have to, not in front of Rex.
"Oh Fives..."
Rex instinctively wrapped his arm around the younger clone and held him close. He immediately felt the man trembling all over his body. He wanted to help him in some way, support him, relieve from his suffering. Rex himself was also deeply affected by Echo's death, but he was aware that it was a risk they all had signed up for. He was filled with pride as he thought of this bright, brave, loyal young soldier who had given his life to protect his brothers. They spent many hours together creating advanced war plans and strategies, he believed that Echo would be an excellent leader, but Echo always said that he preferred to follow orders. The three of them were really close, so Rex felt partly responsible for his younger brothers. He couldn't protect one, but he wouldn't let the other suffer alone.
“Fives, I...I know it must be incredibly hard for you right now but... you are not alone.”
Rex began carefully. He gently hugged his quietly sobbing brother tighter, letting him rest his head on his chest. Although they were both still wearing their hard armor, he could see that being close to the other helped the shaken young clone calm down a bit.
Fives was afraid of being alone. Rex knew this very well and that's why he wanted to make sure he wasn't alone, to be right next to him, to protect him.
"I want to take this suffering away from you so much, but I can't. I just… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Fives'ika."
Rex's voice broke and he simply tightened his grip, wanting to hide his precious little brother from the world. Fives had given up completely, desperately clinging to his older brother like a lost child. He was scared... He was scared to live without Echo. He didn't want this life. He would give anything to be able to switch places with his twin, to not have to suffer so much. However, he wouldn't want Echo to feel the same way as him right now.
"I... I just want my twin..."
Fives whispered through tears, almost inaudibly, but Rex heard him perfectly. The captain's heart broke for him.
" I know, Fives…I know…I'm sorry."
That was all he could say.
They stayed like that until they landed on Coruscant. Rex reluctantly released Fives from his hug and looked down at his face. He looked so young... like a lost child who had absolutely no idea what to do next. His brown eyes, which usually had a cheerful sparkle, were now almost grey, dull and sad. Red with tears that continued to flow silently, unable to stop, even though the boy barely made any sound except for his shaky breath. The exhaustion was clearly visible on his face. Rex gently wiped his brother's wet cheeks with his thumb and gave him a sympathetic look.
"It's time, we have to go…"
Fives just nodded and reached for his helmet, which he put on his head in one motion, hiding his emotions from the rest of the world. He didn't want to, but he had to go out into the world again and face it. He is a soldier, he must be strong. For Echo. He will not waste the chance for which his brother gave his life.
"You don't have to take part in the briefing and everything, I excuse you from attending it. You're tired, rest. I'll come to you as soon as I finish with everything, I promise."
Fives nodded and replied quietly. His voice was hoarse, tired.
“Thank you, Rex. For everything... I really appreciate that."
Rex gently squeezed his brother's hand in comfort and smiled sadly.
"Of course. You are not alone."
Then both brothers moved towards the exit. Voices immediately struck Fives' ears, but he gritted his teeth and moved forward.
For Echo.