Chapter Text
Thursday - September 13, 2014
Clarke lies in the middle of Raven’s bed. She’s supposed to be listening to Raven ranting about how her body has changed for the worse since she’s started her hormonal shots but it’s all a rant that Clarke has heard before. She heard it when Raven first started doing the shots, then a month after, on Raven’s birthday, and now she’s hearing it again. It’s never anything new so Clarke turns Raven out and says nothing as Raven goes in and out of her closet.
“I have gained so much weight!” Raven exclaims and she throws a pair of jeans across the room.
Clarke lifts her head, leans to her left, and looks at the jeans on the floor. “. . .” She rolls onto her stomach and crosses her feet at the ankle.
“First my jeans next I won’t fit in my underwear!”
She holds the teddy bear out in front of her and touches the small bundle of flowers. Her eyes trace the black stitching that forms the teddy’s smile and then looks into its black beady eyes that stare into her soul. Clarke’s about to touch one of the flowers when something zips past her head and lands on the edge of the bed. It takes her several seconds of staring to realize that the clothing item is a thong. A black lace thong.
“Fuck, Clarke,” Raven continues. “What am I supposed to wear? Granny panties?” She shivers at the word.
Maybe I’m crazy , Clarke thinks to herself but she doesn’t get much farther as Raven shouts her name, finally getting Clarke’s attention. “What?” Clarke asks, looking at Raven.
Raven grabs her stomach. “Look! I’m fat!” She shakes it and Clarke inches away from her.
She stares at Raven for some seconds before sitting up on her knees. The bear is discarded to her side and she moves to the edge of the bed, flicking the thong away. “You’re not fat,” she says. “You’re trying to grow a human. Another life. Or, you’re going to if Wick ever gets his shit together.”
Raven releases her stomach fat and she nods. “You’re right,” she whispers, sitting on the bed next to Clarke. “I’m going to do something amazing.”
“You are.”
“I’m going to be a mom.”
Clarke nods. “Yup.”
“I’m going to raise someone who could be the next president!”
“Hrm,” Clarke makes a face. She’s not sure if Raven should get that ambitious but she agrees nonetheless. “Sure.” Somehow what started as a weak attempt at cheering Raven up, worked and Raven is very much happy now. Happy enough to stop throwing her clothing around the room. Clarke touches her shoulder to Raven’s gently and offers her help to clean the room.
“Don’t bother. I’m going to toss out most of my wardrobe, go on a spending spree, and finally get on that baby-making business.”
None of that makes sense to Clarke but she doesn’t speak on it. “Then let’s get some ice cream,” Clarke says and Raven readily agrees.
The door clicks shut behind Lexa and she walks toward the bed. She’s sighing before she sits down on the bed and sighs once again as she tucks her knees under herself. Lexa’s hand is shaking as she scrolls through her contacts until her thumb hovers over the name “JADIS” with a snowflake by the name. Normally, Lexa would laugh at the name and Nia had as well when she saw it but right now, Lexa can’t find the humor and she can only feel the fear that courses through her.
I’m sure this won’t go well , she thinks to herself and presses the call button. Lexa’s not sure of the time in New York and won’t mind too much if Nia doesn’t answer. But, of course, it doesn’t go that way and Nia picks up on the second ring.
Her voice is deep, rough, and even annoyed. “Lexa.” Lexa thinks she can hear a woman talking but Nia tells them to quiet down. “I hope you’re calling to tell me the drop went well.”
“Yeah. It went great. Niylah was good.”
“She wasn’t nervous?”
“No, she was very happy.”
“And you’re treating her well? Lincoln tells me the two of you are very acquainted with each other.”
Lexa swallows and nods, then remembers that Nia can’t see her. “She is out sightseeing right now if I remember correctly.”
Nia is quiet for a minute than asks, “You are not with her?”
“I plan to meet up with her at a bar in an hour.” From experience, Lexa knows that Nia is nodding and if they were face to face, Nia would be looking at Lexa with suspicion. She always knows when something is up.
“What are you not telling me, Alexandra?”
“I can’t just call a friend?”
She laughs. “You know I am fond of you and we have known each other for years. But never have you ever called me for the sake of talking to a ‘friend’.”
She’s right. “Toni fell through.” Lexa’s not proud of telling him because she knows that telling her means Toni now has a mark on her back. Nia has never liked weak and flakey people.
“Toni fell through,” Nia repeats.
“Yes.”
“And she was scheduled for-”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow. You are ware tomorrow’s suitcase is worth almost double of yesterday’s?”
Lexa did know that. “I know that-”
“Does Toni?”
“I do not inform them of the cost. I find it makes them more nervous.”
“So, she was not nervous when she - as you called it - ‘fell through’. Was she weaker than I thought?” Lexa says nothing and that’s the only answer Nia needs. “You need another mule then.”
“. . .”
“Someone who is fond of you. Not in Niylah’s clingy and desperate way but something more subtle.”
More doesn’t have to be said as Lexa realizes that Nia is talking about Clarke. “I just need someone to take Toni’s place tomorrow. Send one of Lincoln’s people. They shouldn’t be busy.” The request isn’t too out there as it’s not rare for the mules of one person to mingle with the mules of another. Lexa and Lincoln’s people have met several times and some are close friends. Despite that, they rarely work for other drug smugglers as their loyalties are meant to lie with their own.
Nia sighs. “I’ll send someone down.”
Lexa doesn’t thank Nia and hangs up. She really doesn’t want to talk with Toni and decides that Nia can handle it.
Friday - September 14, 2014
Clarke steps outside of her car and she stares at the broken OLIS sign. She watches as the words flicker and the P threatens to fall on passerbies. Clarke doesn’t think about it as she opens the bar’s door and walks inside, making a beeline for the counter. As usual, Lincoln is behind the bar’s counter and wiping down glasses.
“Ah, Clarke.” He smiles at her and sets a glass down. “You here for a drink?”
Clarke shakes her head and she sets the brown paper bag on the stool to her right. “I’m actually here to talk to Lexa.”
“So nothing new,” he teases and Clarke shrugs as there’s no point in denying the truth. Lincoln doesn’t walk away like he usually does and he crosses his arms on the counter. “Well, I hate to break your heart but Lexa is gone for the week. Or some random amount of days. I never know.”
Clarke asks, “She’s gone?”
“Gone for now.”
“Where did she go?” Clarke can’t help but ask as curiosity gets the best of her.
“California.”
Her eyebrows raise. “That’s far.”
“Lexa travels a lot,” he explains, “I think she left to make some business connections for the bar in hopes that we can expand.”
“Is that not the boss’ job?” Lincoln says nothing in response, just as Lexa does, but unlike Lexa, he is confused while Lexa only does it when- Clarke doesn’t know when actually. Lincoln is yet to say anything and Clarke worries she’s crossed a line but then he smiles and even laughs.
“It should be,” he says, still laughing even when a customer walks into the bar. “I gotta run but feel free to stick around. Lexa always has a tab open for friends so I’ll put any drinks you order on that tab.”
Clarke shakes her head and stands, grabbing the bag as she does. “That’s ok,” she says. “I don’t want to use her tab without her around.”
Something about that surprises Lincoln.
“What?” Clarke asks when he stares at her.
“Did you not hear the part about it being for friends?”
“We’re hardly friends.”
He nods at that but he doesn’t really believe her. “You’re an interesting person, Clarke.” His tone is free of judgment as he has met too many people who would use Lexa’s money and take all her generosity without thinking. “I like you. I hope you keep coming around.” He’s walking away before Clarke can ask him what he means.
Rarely does Lexa choose water over alcohol. She has a strong resilience to alcohol and never wakes up with a hangover unless she drinks bottles and bottles worth of alcohol. But, today she chooses water while Niylah and one of Lincoln’s people choose wine.
“I’d rather have rum,” Niylah says, looking at her glass with pure disgust.
Lexa unscrews the lid on her water and takes a sip. Her nose wrinkles and she looks at the label, cursing that the hotel only has FIJI water. “It’s only one in the afternoon,” she tells Niylah gently as she doesn’t want to be bossy or seem condescending.
Niylah looks at Lexa. Something in Lexa’s tone or body language must be welcoming as Niylah sets her wine aside and moves closer to Lexa. Nothing is said as she molds her side to Lexa’s and gets comfortable.
Lexa doesn’t push her away and even keeps quiet about it. She can see Lincoln’s man looking at the two of them, trying to figure something out, so she distracts him, “How did you meet Lincoln?” As she expects, he is happy to tell the story.
Only ten minutes have gone by since Lexa asked about Lincoln when her phone starts to ring. The man stops talking and he looks at her phone. Lexa can see him read Lincoln’s name on the phone before he looks at Lexa.
“Is that-”
She nods. “I’m sure he’s calling to see how the drop went.” Lexa smiles reassuringly.
“Surely.”
Lexa knows from experience that he’s touched by the idea that Lincoln cares for him. “Lincoln,” she says upon answering.
“Woods,” he answers back. It’s too quiet in the background and Lexa knows he’s stepped out of the bar to talk. “It’s nice to know you’re alive.”
“I didn’t know you worried,” she teases back and Lincoln laughs.
“Yeah, yeah. So, how’d it go?”
“Fine. Your man is great.”
“I knew he would be.”
A red flag goes off in her head when Lincoln doesn’t brag about the mule’s- “What is your name?” Lexa asks the man.
“Jack,” he answers and Lexa nods.
Niylah perks up, reminding Lexa of her presence. “I’m Niylah,” she says to him and the two begin to talk, the conversation somehow going to how Niylah’s parents found her name. Lexa takes that as her cue to leave the two alone and she walks into her bedroom.
“What are you not saying?”
Lincoln sighs and he lowers his voice. “When Nia came by to ask for one of my people, she mentioned Toni. I heard she fell through.”
Lexa nods. “You’ve heard of her father. He’s a cop and she has to be more careful than the others.”
“Tell that to Nia. She didn’t care and said she was going to take care of Toni.” They both go quiet after that as they know when Nia ‘takes care of things’ the end result is usually a body or someone in jail. “She said she won’t be your problem anymore so maybe she got a promotion.”
It’s a weak shot in the dark at putting a hopeful twist on things.
“But on a good note, someone stopped by to see.” Lincoln’s voice is suddenly chipper. “She had a brown bag that I think is a gift. It’s not the usual size of gifts you get, you know. Lamborghinis and round trips to the Bahamas. I could be wrong about it being a gift tho-”
“You’re talking about Clarke, right?”
A pause. “Who else?”
Lexa doesn’t answer the question. “What did she want?” She asks, trying not to seem too interested. Lexa knows she has failed when Lincoln laughs.
“Relax your ovaries, Lexa. I don’t know. She asked where you went but not when you’d be back. I didn’t get much else because she doesn’t seem all that fond of me.”
“She just doesn’t know you. She’s not the easiest person to get to open up.”
“So you know her?”
Lexa says nothing. She realizes that her mood is better upon hearing about Clarke.
“I don’t think Clarke wants to get to know me. It was clear she came by to talk to you and all the previous times she has only wanted to talk to you.” He’s quiet for a second. “I know you’re not trying to charm her, but I think you’ve charmed her.” Lexa can recognize the worry in his tone as he hates making people mules as much as she does.
“I realize that,” Lexa admits.
She doesn’t see her world and Clarke’s crashing in a harsh manner like it did with Niylah or Yvette. The worlds are far apart but Clarke’s is still in view. In reach and a weird feeling settles in Lexa’s chest. It’s a feeling she has never felt before, especially when interacting with a potential mule. But Lexa doesn’t want Clarke to be a mule and the feeling isn’t regret.
She dares to call it hope.
Clarke sits back in the front seat of her car. She crosses her arms and stares into the teddy bear’s soulless eyes. She can see her reflection in the eyes and has to look away, instead focusing on the teddy’s smile and then the flowers.
“What am I going to do with you?” She asks the bear and holds it by the armpits. It’s only then that she realizes how crazy she must look to the people who are walking by. Clarke shakes her head and she sets the bear on the dashboard of her car, then tucks it into the left corner, making sure the bear is facing her.
The bear is cute and she’s met plenty of people who have stuffed animals in their car. Clarke fails to see the harm in keeping the bear in her car. There are crazier things in New York.
I’ll make sure to give it to Lexa when she comes back to the city . Clarke’s sure of this but she realizes she has grown fond of the teddy. Immediately, she tries to figure out what to do when she suddenly laughs. First-world problems .
Clarke’s still staring at the bear when her phone goes off. It buzzes on the passenger seat and she looks at it, reading the number that lights up her screen. She doesn’t recognize the number but something tells her to pick it up. Something is familiar about it.
She grabs her phone and clicks answer. “Hell-”
“Clarke?” The all-too-eager person cuts Clarke off.
She’s not sure if what she’s feeling is surprise or something else. The feeling may be something more negative. “Bellamy?”
There’s a sigh of relief on the other end. “Clarke. Hi. Yes, it’s Bellamy.” She hears the creak of furniture and assumes he has sat down.
“Hi, Bellamy.” Clarke’s not annoyed to be hearing from him and she has to admit that it’s nice to talk to someone - even if it’s someone she hasn’t talked to in four days and the last time she did see him, they were about to have sex. She then says, “I don’t mean to come off as rude but how did you get my number?”
“Raven,” he answers. “Or I saw it on Raven’s phone. A few days ago, actually.”
Clarke asks, “You were snooping?”
Bellamy laughs nervously. “No, well, yes, but also no. I was at her place and she asked me to call Wick. You’re on her frequent calls list. She has you listed as Gryffindor.”
Clarke knew this as she was there when Raven changed the name. She doesn’t say anything as she puts Bellamy on speaker and goes to her text messages. Clarke doesn’t have to scroll as Raven is at the top of her list. Their last conversation was yesterday as Raven said she was worried about having a loose vagina after birth and Clarke said she did not need to know that.
5:23
Gryffindor: You hang out with Bellamy? By yourself?
Raven changed Clarke's name on her phone years ago and she still laughs about it. Clarke chuckles sometimes.
“I found it funny,” Bellamy says.
5:25
Ravenclaw: Sometimes.
Ravenclaw: He’s a good friend . . . why?
“Yeah. We were watching Harry Potter at the time.”
5:26
Gryffindor: Oh, nothing. I’m just talking to him on the phone right now.
“You like those?”
“Nope,” she answers honestly.
5:26
Ravenclaw: No way.
It seems her answer has hurt Bellamy’s feelings so Clarke explains herself. “The first time I watched the movies, I was thirteen. I had skipped out on school and my dad didn’t know. I saw his car come home, I hid, and witnessed as he fucked the neighbor.”
“So you don’t hate Harry Potter-”
“I just associate it with a bad memory.”
5:28
Gryffindor: Yes way. He said he got the number from your phone.
Clarke doesn’t hear Bellamy’s following words as she reads Raven’s answer and can’t believe what she’s reading. “That’s so cute,” she reads quietly. “He’s devoted?”
5:30
Gryffindor: Are you insane?
“What was that?” Bellamy asks.
“Nothing.”
5:30
Ravenclaw: Not insane.
Clarke swipes away the message app and takes him off speaker. “Hey, are you busy?” She asks.
“Right now?”
“No, not right but in a few days. I want to meet up.” Clarke finally turns the car off and steps out. “I think we should talk.”
Bellamy is quiet for a second, acting as though he’s going over his schedule, and then says, “I’m free in two days.”
Clarke has a feeling that his calendar is always empty and the pause was an unneeded effect. “I am too.”
“Do you want to meet up at the food court?” He asks in an attempt at a joke but Clarke doesn’t laugh. She locks up her car and approaches Wells’ house.
“I know this great bar. We can meet up there?”
“Sounds like a date,” he answers but hangs up before she can deny it.
Clarke's phone buzzes and she reads the text message that pops up.
5:35
Ravenclaw: Just horny.
Clarke’s not even surprised as she knows Wick is busy most of the time. And by busy, he’s not actually busy. He’s just out there living like a frat kid who isn’t supposed to be making a baby.
Thank the gods he hasn’t .
Sunday - September 16, 2014
Lexa spots Yvetter almost immediately and she can’t help smiling. Yvette walks over, kisses both of Lexa’s cheeks, then whispers, “How much this time?”
Lexa shrugs and she leans back, looking into Yvette’s eyes. “At least four hundred.”
She seems impressed. “I thought you never breached two.”
“I guess it’s a promotion.” She doesn’t take Yvette’s hand like she did Niylah’s. “There’s a car outside. One of Lincoln’s men is driving.” Lexa leads her toward the exit, “Toni fell through.” She can see the sadness in Yvette’s eyes and remembers that Toni was one of her favorites. Even if the two do spend most of their time arguing. It’s a relationship that Lexa will never understand.
“What’s going to happen to her?”
Lexa shrugs. “From what I heard, Nia is taking care of it.” The two leave the building and approach the cab. It’s hard to miss because Niylah has her head sticking out the window and she’s waving to Lexa.
“Lexa!” She shouts. “Over here!” Niylah is pulled into the car by the back of her shirt. There’s a weird satisfaction that Lexa feels when she hits her head on her way in.
Lexa makes a note to talk to Niylah about yelling during trips, especially when there are thousands of illegally obtained dollars in a suitcase.
“And she is?” Yvette asks.
“Niylah.” Lexa opens the door. “She’s new.”
Yvette nods and takes Lexa’s hand before Lexa can close the door. “She’s no Toni,” she whispers.
Lexa nods and Yvette lets her hand go. Lexa’s too busy thinking about getting home to give a witty response back. She closes the door and sits in the front seat, turning to Jack. “When do we return?”
“Tomorrow at nine.” Jack looks at you. “Is that ok?”
“It has to be.” Lexa sighs and she removes her wig, tossing it to the ground. She then rubs her eyes, wishing she could remove her contacts.
“Do you want to go out and drink? Lincoln always says it passes the time.”
“No. I just want to return to the hotel.” She shakes her head and then lays it on the door of the car. The buildings zip past her and she lets everything blur together. “You guys should though. But be careful.”
He nods. “Understood.”
Normally, she is up for a party and will party til her heart threatens to stop beating but tonight, Lexa takes a hot shower and returns to her room, shrugging off Niylah who begs Lexa to come with. When her door shuts, Lexa removes her robe and sits on the edge of the bed. Her bag is packed, ready to go tomorrow, and she opens it to find something to wear for the night. She ultimately decides on just underwear.
She then sighs and crawls to the middle of her bed where she curls up and closes her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep so she tomorrow can come faster.