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It’s a rainy, chilly night. Edward was supposed to be back at least an hour ago with groceries. But something came up…
“Ed? Where have you been?” Alfons asks from the kitchen, lighthearted even if concerned. He isn’t the kind to get mad at Ed or anyone. “I was worried you might get sick out there.”
“Nah, don’t worry too much.”
“Well, I managed some soup for now.”
“Great.” Ed takes off his boots, then he lets his wet hair loose. “I got us something special.”
There are steps coming out of the kitchen. “Oh, let me help you—”
Alfons stops in the way the moment a small meow echoes in their apartment. Ed carries all the groceries with his right arm, while the left has sheltered the cat inside his big coat.
“… What is this?” His roommate questions.
“We got a little buddy to join us for dinner, that’s what! I thought I might call him Ferdinand. Is it too grown up for him?” Ed caresses the gray cat once he releases the groceries.
“Wait, hold on, Ed. Did you really just pick up a random cat from the street?”
Ed’s smile starts to fade.
“Well, yeah… I thought it’d be nice to have a cat.” Finally, after all these years denying it.
Alfons does not look pleased with the idea. If anything, he looks not only judgmental of Ed’s decision, but he’s not very excited about the cat, which goes against Ed’s expectations.
“… You don’t like cats,” the latter confirms.
“Uh… ‘don’t like’ is a bit strong,” Alfons realizes and laughs nervously. “I’m fine with pets, but cats… I don’t really understand their temperament.”
“So you don’t like them.”
“Ed, that’s not what I meant—”
“But I know you don’t. And that’s- that’s fine. I’m sorry I brought him before knowing what you thought.”
Alfons grows quiet as Ed refuses to look him in the eye. The cat has also stopped meowing.
“Edward, I’m not mad, okay?” The former insists. “I don’t mind you having a cat, but right now, I’m not sure if it’s the best time. We’ve barely arrived here, gotten this apartment… how are you going to give the cat a home if we aren’t even able to buy much food for ourselves?”
Ed sighs. “Yeah, I know.”
He looks at the gray cat, which looks at him in return. It has beautiful hazel eyes.
Alfons scratches the back of his head.
“Well, I’m not going to tell you to leave him outside. He can stay over tonight. Maybe Ms. Gracia might help us out,” he imagines. “Maybe someone else can give him a home.”
Ed would’ve lashed out if it were a couple years ago. He remembers all the fights he pulled. He remembers all the times he did not allow a cat in his life, because he too couldn’t take care of it.
He just wanted to do this one thing he was never allowed. A little furry companion.
But no.
Alfons doesn’t like cats.
Not the way Al loved them and would’ve picked them up and hide them in his armor.
Ed can’t cry, either. He’s physically uncapable of crying. And the last time he did cry was when Al was literally separated from him for good.
The rain outside is losing its intensity.
Alfons is the one who sighs.
“Just… go take a shower and I’ll handle dinner, okay? Did you buy food for him, too?”
“Yeah.” Ed thought of everything. He even planned on giving one of his pillows to the cat and let it sleep in his room.
He places the cat on the floor for once. It meows again, pleased. Ed grabs a towel to dry the little guy.
The older Elric stares at its hazel eyes. Unlike everything else in this pale world, the eyes are the most vivid color he’s seen.
The cat is confused. It was promised it would stay.
Ed will end up breaking another promise.
“I’m sorry.”
The most emotion he’s felt in this last years.
Finally, he trusts Alfons to look after it while Ed gets warm.
He stands there for who knows how long.
Pale, pale blurs…
Ed also stares at the food and does not eat.
Alfons watches him.
“Ed…”
Another conversation that won’t go anywhere.
“I’m sorry—”
“It’s fine, Alfons.”
(The name is also spoken with poison.)
“Look, again, maybe another day you can get a cat—”
“I wanted us to get a cat, but you don’t like them and that’s okay.”
The light-blonde boy sighs but he doesn’t protest too much.
“… This isn’t just about the cat, is it?”
Wow, so smart.
Obviously, Ed’s already being an asshole to Alfons, so he decides he won’t argue anymore.
“I know you miss home, Edward, and I’m sorry. I just… I want you to know that you can count on me.”
I can’t.
Alfons thinks Ed is making everything up about where he came from. Ed lives in a world where no one remembers him, because they’re nobody.
Ed is a nobody in a world of nobodies that have faces of everybody.
The cat is lying near Ed’s foot under the table (besides wanting to eat everything else on the floor right after it ate).
“I mean it, you can trust me,” Alfons promises.
Ed sighs yet again. He finally takes some soup, which has gone cold at this point.
“Okay.”
Ed wishes he could say something else to Alfons.
But what’s the point if this world isn’t even real?
If not even in this dream Ed could get a cat? Or relive the bond that meant the world to him?
There’s nothing he can do.
He’ll just have to live in this bad dream and pay for everything that he did.
…
Ed just wants his little brother.
He just wants Al back.