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Where do your loyalties lie?

Summary:

Lennox is trying extremely hard to stay loyal but it’s fucking difficult. Ross/Lennox. Set vaguely in the 90s but not really.

Notes:

I’m in a production of Macbeth that’s set vaguely in the 90s (don’t ask how it works it doesn’t really) I wrote this instead of working on my lines

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Ross.”

No response.

“Ross.”

Again, nothing.

Lennox yelled louder. “Ross!”

The man turned to face him. His eyeliner was smudged, his arm was bruised, he was coughing, and Lennox could see the glint of a needle next to him.

“You fucking junkie. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m too sober to deal with your bullshit Lenny.”

“Lenny is a nickname people I trust can call me. You’ve betrayed that trust. I thought you cared. I thought you were listening.”

Ross gave him a look of confusion, Lennox just laughed. “Fuck you. We talked. I thought we made an agreement, and now I hear you’ve been commiserating with- not just commiserating with, consorting with Macduff.”

“Consorting with is an exaggeration, and you know that. Besides, are you faithful to our king's killer?” Ross asked.

Lennox picked at his nails. “My king is Macbeth. I have no love for him but I will follow orders. Idle gossip with an enemy makes you an enemy, I’m warning you Ross. This is not the path to go down.”

“Why is Macduff our enemy? He was our dear friend not a month ago. Were we not the most fervent followers of Duncan?” Ross asked, feigning offense.

Lennox kicked at the ground. “I believe in loyalty above all else. I thought you were fucking different. I thought you understood that.”

Ross laughed, “lover, regicide is the most blatant act of disloyalty.” Lennox nearly winced at the endearment.

“I hold no love for you anymore.”

“I thought we agreed not to lie to each other.”

Lennox violently shook his head, denying the statement. He wasn’t lying. He wouldn’t lie. Lying was a sin. Lying was betrayal.

“You came to warn me. You miss what we had, before we were torn apart by… circumstances. Are you commiserating or consorting with me?” Ross smirked.

“Any smoldering remains of the love we once shared have been stomped out by your actions. I gave you one last chance, and you failed me. You adore failing me, don’t you? You must, as it’s all you seem to do.” Lennox said, fighting to keep his voice steady.

“You changed the subject, too caught up in the semantics it seems. Is regicide not the most blatant act of disloyalty?”

Lennox took a deep breath. He was too sober.

“I refuse to stoop to his level.” Lennox couldn’t look Ross in the eyes, he refused to look at how the man he once loved stared at him as if he were a stranger. “Ross. Please. I’m not immoral.” He pleaded, “I… I stick to my code.”

Ross just shook his head, “I know that. I have no hate in my heart for you. You’ve always been loyal, loyal to a fault, but your loyalties lie in the wrong place.”

Lennox just stared at the ground.

“Sit, please. We can discuss this. We can come to an agreement.”

Lennox wanted nothing more than to put everything else aside, and just talk to Ross, like they used to, but he couldn’t. The stakes were too high. He blinked away a few tears. “I- I can’t be seen with you.”

“You’re so paranoid.”

“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you. I don’t want to be the next enemy.” Lennox protested.

Ross laughed, “are you blind? Do you not understand what’s happening?” He waved his arms around, almost frantically. “They’ll come after you next, and there will be nobody left to defend you, because you’re burning every single bridge you have left- no. You aren’t just burning every single bridge you have left, you’re guaranteeing everyone you see as less loyal than yourself- an impossibly high bar- a death sentence.”

Lennox couldn’t just blink back his tears anymore. “I wish-” he choked, “I wish you could just hold me, and tell me everything’s okay, and we could get high enough that nothing other than us mattered.”

“I don’t know why you think we can’t.” Ross said, infuriating Lennox.

“You don’t get it. People are dying, and we both know damn well it isn’t a coincidence. The king is- for lack of a better word- insane. You noticed at the banquet. He’s seeing ghosts of the people he's put to death, but he’s still putting more and more people to death.”

“I thought better of you. You’ve a perfect opportunity to help the right cause. If you can’t find the heart to do that, I never want to see you again.” Ross said, calmly, coldly, as if he wasn’t pulling Lennox’s heart out, stabbing it twenty times, and throwing it into a ditch.

~~

Lennox knew Ross was good, moral, and he’d do well to be the same.

He’d gone to tell a few lords that Macbeth was responsible for the demise of the former king and Banquo. He’d learned noble Macduff had gone to bring prince Malcolm back, to liberate their dying country. Even with that, he could not lie to his king.

He saw Macbeth through the trees, standing in a clearing in the woods, shouting about something being gone. His clothes were torn and seemed singed, he looked as if he’d seen a ghost- no, the devil.

“What is your grace’s will?” Lennox asked, bowing in an act of reverence.

“Saw you the weird sisters?” He seemed frantic, his eyes darted around the clearing.

“No my lord.”

“I did hear the galloping of horses. Who was ‘t that came by?”

Lennox desperately wanted to let Macbeth be, flee the scene, let him chase the weird sisters forever. However, he knew he couldn’t.

“‘Tis two or three, my lord, that bring you word Macduff is fled to England.”

“Fled to England?”

“Ay, my good lord.”

~~

“You think you’re the only one that gets hurt by your actions, don’t you?”

“Ross. I did what you said. I told the lords the truth.” Lennox insisted, pleading with Ross to not think ill of him.

“Macduff’s estate was attacked. His wife and kids were brutally murdered. I’m just so curious, how did Macbeth learn of Macduff’s escape?” Ross asked, feigning ignorance.

“What more do you want me to do? I can’t leave. Macbeth doesn’t have friends, or truly loyal servants, he has people paid to kiss his feet, and people who are too terrified to disobey him, because they’ve all seen what happens.” Lennox gestured wildly at the ruins of their once great home.

“You’re right. This isn’t your fault,” Ross said, “it’s all the fault of the traitor.” He sneered.

“Can you hold me?”

“Aren’t you scared your king will find out you’ve been consorting with the enemy?” Ross asked.

Lennox scoffed, “for all you know this is part of my plan. Have you got anything strong?” He asked.

Ross laughed, “of course my love.”

He produced two white pills, taking one and offering the other to Lennox.

Lennox laid in Ross’s arms and watched the shadows on the wall dance. “Tomorrow. Me and a few others are bringing reinforcements for Malcolm’s army.”

“Will you be fighting?” Ross asked, Lennox could detect a hint of concern in his voice. “I must. I’ve led to deaths of many innocents, I might as well try to even it out.”

Ross shook his head, “what if you die?”

Lennox shrugged, “I refuse to fall on my own sword but I’ve been looking for a way out for far too long. Guilt isn’t only reserved for royals. I may not see spirits, but I’ve been having dreams, of Duncan, of Banquo, and I’m certain I will of Macduff’s family.”

Ross held Lennox tighter. “I know I can’t convince you not to do this, and if this is the last memory I have of you, I consider it a good one.”

Lennox could feel Ross playing with his hair, he felt completely at peace. Dying tomorrow would be fine, when he fought, he’d think of how content he’d felt. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I think I know where my loyalties lie now.” Lennox said, “with you. I’m sorry I lost sight of that.”

Notes:

I hope yall enjoyed but also why tf did I write this. I need to memorize my lines now