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Heliolite wrote a note and they neatly placed it in their hands, which they rested in their lap. They closed their eyes as they recounted the things that brought them here, and the choice they were about to make...
No. No…
No, this would not be a choice they would make. They've already committed to it, they've already eliminated any other choice. This was what they would do. For better or worse.
They smiled bitterly while thinking of the foreign words resting in their lap and fell asleep to the sound of a lantern flickering into flame.
They took every step while reminiscing about the time they used to have. Well, it's not like they didn't have the time anymore, they mused. Might as well hurry up, no? They thought as they stepped into the lift and sent it downwards.
Lighting every candle they could access, they walked around the area and when that was done, they spun the wheel of the mechanism that would open the coffin.
The chains violently shook, metal scraping against metal, as the seals inevitably stopped their progression and in a few moments they once more saw the green lantern of their... Friend's vision torch? Were they friends if the other didn't know them? Did it matter at this point?
Heliolite stepped forward, ignoring the carefully retained memory that was being shown to them. Instead, they reached through the gap with their hand and waited.
Momentarily, they felt the careful touch against their hand, much like the very first time they did this.
Rough fingers of a gentle being, a soft touch regardless of the hostility branded onto them by design of their form.
They made no attempts to leave, as a relatively incredibly large hand pressed against theirs.
The small bitter smile on their face grew a bit wider when they intertwined their fingers with the other's and heard a small surprised hoot in return. How cute.
Regardless, before Kaepora could return the gesture, Heliolite's hand slipped away and the imprisoned inhabitant of this damned place could only watch as their silhouette framed by flickering warm glow moved away from the gap.
Their eyes widened with fear only for them to realize, this was what their fate was. There was no other way this encounter could have gone.
If they could shed tears, Kaepora would have as they walked back, shamefully returning to their place within this world.
This despair was their punishment for their greed, and yet, the warmth of the hand they felt... It was the best thing that happened to them in a very, very long time. How pathetic.
On the other side of the coffin's doors, Heliolite worked to open the locks. They weren't hasty with it but neither did they stall. It was trained and ingrained in their muscle memory, they've done this so many times they could do it blindfolded. They didn't even use the glitch for the first lock, they just inputted the code and walked across with confidence. Two more to go.
The second one was just as easy. Code in, step on raft, push with lantern, extinguish seal, go back. Then it was time for the last, the one that would stop them from walking across while still alive if they had not brute forced this one much like the previous one across their many ventures into this place. They just turned off the lights, concealed their flame and easily removed the last set of chains.
After walking back to the door's opening mechanism, they took a deep breath while holding onto the cogwheel. This was it. Their one shot at doing this. Their only chance.
They spun the wheel.
Descending into the dark staircase, they recalled the lessons Gabbro taught them about meditation. They proved vital because their heart rate was so high it was a miracle they hadn't woken up yet. Momentarily, they were in the room with the telescope, awaiting a lift. That took almost no time either, and they almost wanted to curse how little time this was wasting. In a way, they wanted their last time to last, but the universe was uncaring in regards to their wants.
Their shaky hand placed an artifact on the pedestal, sending the elevator to the lower floor. They removed it only after the lift reached its destination and slowly turned around.
Heliolite stepped into the room and said, in the most practiced native tongue of the inhabitants they could ever achieve:
- "Hello, Kaepora."
Kaepora was terrified of this new alien creature who just arrived. Terrified but hopeful at the same time. Were they free now, who was this person, why did they come here, was this even real? Were their actions worth the suffering they endured for so long? Could they finally rest? How did they know them?
The hearthian, who would be lying if they said they were unaware of the inner turmoil of the person hiding in the shadows across them, simply waited while looking into the dark corner until Kaepora got up from their seat and hummed ever so quietly to check if their voice still worked. Afterwards, they raised their artifact to light the lantern in the middle of this small room.
- "Hello. Why... Why are you here?" - They asked, their voice sounding calm and monotone, although not confident. They didn't want their feelings to be seen, they wished to stifle whatever hope they had, for they thought they did not deserve to have any.
- "To free you, to ask a question and to make a request."
Kaepora blinked and then blinked again. Surely they misheard. They tilted their head but did not ask to hear those words again. They simply stood there, confused and stunned.
Still, the tiny alien thing seemed to read them like an open scroll.
- "Yes. You're free now. You may do as you wish. Whatever you choose to do, I will not stop you. If you choose to ignore my request, I will not force you. Any and all questions you have, I'll answer them." - Heliolite said, their tone betraying nothing to their conversation partner, although they were just barely keeping it together.
Kaepora took a moment to let those words sink in and deal with how overwhelming this situation felt. It was... A lot. A lot in every way it could be, so they began with a simple question.
- "Who are you?"
- "My name is Heliolite. My story is long and burdensome so I will spare you it, unless you really want to know."
The least they could do for their savior was to know their story, so they insisted.
- "I do."
This caught Heliolite off guard, in all honesty. They weren't expecting this, and they didn't exactly know where the relevant details ended and oversharing started. Nonetheless, they walked to the other side of the room and reached for the vision torch, quickly backing a bit away from Kaepora while properly setting up the tool.
They pointed the projection in such a way that the light was in Kaepora's direction but they'd have to choose to enter it themselves. With that, Heliolite closed their eyes and awaited that strange feeling that always accompanied a mental connection with someone. They didn't have to wait long.
Kaepora witnessed the life of Heliolite that led to them joining Outer Wilds Ventures, they witnessed the way Heliolite wasn't happy nor sad for most of their life, only perhaps lonely at times but in that loneliness they found comfort as they grew older. They saw how empty Heliolite felt when one of their friends that they looked up to so badly went missing, and the attempts to first ignore their feelings and then follow after them into the stars.
Those memories were filled with things unfamiliar to Kaepora, but loneliness was something they knew.
They vaguely witnessed Heliolite starting their training to become an astronaut which quickly turned into a recollection of their first launch day. The feelings of pride they had, slight excitement and impatience. The bitterness that they could feel in the back of their mind that originated from this memory having turned sour later on in their life.
They followed Heliolite's memories to the observatory, where the gaze of the nomai statue befell upon them.
A summary of who the nomai were, how they followed the signal Kaepora released to this solar system but died before they found it.
Then, Kaepora witnessed the recollection of the time loop, not as detailed as the memories of the launch day were.
They saw the friends Heliolite made along the way. They saw how Heliolite's perception of time warped as they went on until it became a mess of different possibilities and points of time they could hardly keep track of. They saw the many deaths and the novas, although Heliolite apparently spared them from knowing the pain of that as well.
They saw as they pieced the clues together, as they figured out where to go, how to get there, what to do... And how they turned away.
And Kaepora hoped their anger and disappointment wasn't shown to Heliolite in that moment. Thankfully, this way of using the vision torch would be a one way means of communication, but... As soon as they realized just what they could have let the other know, they regretted it and buried that hate elsewhere in their mind.
They saw how Heliolite ended up discovering the Stranger and now they explored it. They saw the hearthian seeing traces of Kaepora's existence across the ruined ringworld. They witnessed their fear of the inhabitants, how much they didn't want to return to the dark dreamworld but did so regardless thanks to their friends' support. And they saw their prison's locked doors.
A mirroring of how Heliolite approached them this time unfolded in front of them.
The hearthian, frustrated with the lack of results and the codes being burnt in the place where Kaepora told them to look for them, reached through the gap just as they did this time. Back then, though, they were terrified of Kaepora once they realized what they were in front of. Terrified, but curious as Kaepora reached out to them through the gap themselves.
A curiosity which made them trust this being on the other side of the locked doors a bit more.
Kaepora felt Heliolite hesitate. Their memories stop, their thoughts consider something. They could only vaguely guess what it was about from the unintentionally shared details and context.
They hummed quietly, trying to reassure the person whose mind they were currently able to witness, yet they knew most physical gestures to encourage them would be met with panic. They've seen how they react to their kind, after all.
A moment later, Heliolite continued.
The memories of how they returned to Kaepora's prison whenever they could. How they tried to talk to them, how they ended up picking up on bits of Kaepora's language across loops. The strange comfort they found by Kaepora's side.
The determination to find the codes and free Kaepora eventually.
And alongside that, an unknown feeling Kaepora barely caught the hint of, like a whisper on the wind, that Heliolite could not hide no matter how much they wished to.
They were also off-handedly made aware that the first time Heliolite set them free, they did not even hesitate to let the flames consume them in order to do it.
It didn't sit right with Kaepora, but since there was apparently a time loop in place, they could accept it, although not without feeling guilty for what Heliolite had to do to free them.
Was it even worth being freed if everything was a time loop anyway? They'd be back here soon regardless...
But, the alien in front of them would not wait for their existential crisis to be done, as they had no knowledge of it happening.
Heliolite simply proceeded to show Kaepora the memories of the two meeting, again and again, Heliolite learning the language that the inhabitants of this ringworld spoke and about Kaepora. Talking to them about everything and nothing at all. And then, Heliolite brute forcing the codes to the locks, which apparently was painstaking, frustrating, and annoying but 'necessary'.
And yet, Kaepora could tell that Heliolite was hiding something from them. They'd probably ask after this.
Lastly, Heliolite showed them their last meeting. The goodbye, as they could only barely open the doors and wish them farewell before leaving for good. The journey to the eye of the universe, which made Kaepora feel pride.
Heliolite ended up doing what they had to in the end. They didn't abandon their legacy forever.
At last, Kaepora saw the memories of the end of this universe and the formation of the next... And Heliolite waking up by the campfire once more, only for the probe cannon above them to never fire. The loop was over.
And the stars did not match up with the last ones.
Then, the hearthian ended the projection.
- "That is all I am." - Heliolite said, their eyes now open but their gaze turned towards the floor, as if they didn't have the time to intimately get to know every detail of this room by now.
With how overwhelming all of this information was, Kaepora could only ask about the thing they remembered was hidden from them. They'd need time to process everything to ask any meaningful questions.
- "You obfuscated something of importance."
- "Hardly."
- "I could tell you were hiding something from me."
- "It is not important."
- "Please." - They insisted.
Heliolite looked away, in what Kaepora could now recognize as shame. Regardless, the hearthian closed their eyes and the light of the vision torch appeared once more.
And to say the contents of this vision hit Kaepora as if they got shot with the Orbital Probe Canon would be the understatement of the year. Century, even.
With so many doubts and so much hesitation, yet also having forsaken their fight to hide this part of themselves, Heliolite allowed Kaepora to witness the love they were so ashamed of.
The overwhelming feelings they carried in their heart. The good and the bad of it. How much this bordered an obsession, how possessive they felt about them yet how easily they'd put their feelings to the side just for Kaepora's happiness. How much they revered every part of who Kaepora was and how much they respected them.
Kaepora took a step back, leaving the range of the vision and they covered their eyes with one of their hands, their feathers ruffling in a way that very specifically pointed at intense emotions.
In the meantime, Heliolite lowered the torch and awkwardly placed it against Kaepora's bed, as they hardly wanted to approach the distressed owlk who was right next to the original placement of the tool.
- "Is there anything else you want to ask me?"
The only answer that awaited Heliolite was silence. The echoing quiet caused by their horrible life choices.
In all honesty, after seeing the whole journey Heliolite took here, it would be a lie to say Kaepora wasn't previously at least somewhat of a positive opinion of them. They returned here for them, they fulfilled Kaepora's legacy alongside their friends, they cared about Kaepora... It's just... One does not simply recover from an event like this.
Even if it was incredibly weird someone they didn't really know not so long ago was feeling this way about them, to be fair, Heliolite just shared the memories of every meeting between the two of them with Kaepora alongside a summary of Heliolite's life. So, in a way, they remembered the loops through Heliolite.
Also, it was slightly flattering to think about since they've not been loved by anyone for the past hundreds of thousands of years... And they very much asked for this information even though, in hindsight, Heliolite was not even slightly subtle about what it would be.
Regardless, they were nothing but a ghost of a broken person. They couldn't keep Heliolite here.
It took Kaepora a while, but they eventually calmed down and spoke.
- "Please, forget about me. I can't give you anything."
- "I do not wish for anything in return."
- "I will not be here for long, now that I know my sacrifice was worth it."
- "Let's move on from this argument. My feelings are not important right now. It's not what matters."
A silence befell the two.
- "Is the new universe as beautiful as the previous one was?" - Kaepora asked in the end.
- "Yeah. Would you like to see it? You'd love marshmallows, by the way."
- "It does not matter if I wish to see it or not. I can't."
Another pause, before Kaepora continued.
- "You spoke of a question and a request?"
- "I did. The question is, if you were alive outside this simulation, would you still take your life just as you've done every time I set you free?"
- "Perhaps not. Unfortunately, there's no hope for this old soul of mine anymore. My body is certainly little more than bones."
- "I see. Then, I have a favor." - Heliolite hovered their hand next to the flame of their lantern. - "Try your best to live, ok? I left you a note by the way."
And with that, they closed their hand over the flame and Kaepora was left even more confused than they were at the beginning of this conversation.
Heliolite placed the note that remained in their hands while they slept down, onto the floor. Gently, carefully, far enough from the fire to be safe but close enough for it to be very noticeable.
They smiled bitterly, knowing that everyone would probably cry because of them. Well, too bad, they always picked the wrong thing to say or do anyway.
They held their lantern close knowing what likely comes next.
They got up and took a step around the fire, approaching the corpse resting across them.
They placed their hand on top of one of the corpse's hands, which was holding onto the artifact.
They recalled the note they left for their buddies to inevitably find which would make sure they'd come here to help.
A single tear rolled down their cheek as they remembered a newly built house on Timber Hearth that was close to where Heliolite previously lived and which was one hell of a project for them and Marl to work on. After all, it was made with none of the hearthians in mind.
They took a shuddering deep breath, thinking of what they were about to do and hoping that for once, the universe could have some mercy for them. At least let them succeed, no matter the price.
And with that, Heliolite ripped the fabric of time, never to do it again.
In the meantime, Kaepora was very confused because of how they were promptly abandoned with some cryptic parting words and nothing more. They didn't immediately go up the lift, but after a while, they stepped into the elevator and placed their lantern down.
It was as they stepped out of the lift that they felt a strange sensation running through them.
A pulse of something familiar followed by warmth, the feeling of their heart beating once more.
Their eyes snapped open to a dark room barely lit with a campfire, only to see the last tearful smile of someone who used to be known as Heliolite before their body crumbled into nothing but dust.
A lit lantern hit the floor nearby and barely kept burning as it fell onto its side.
And it was, truly, an equivalent exchange.