Chapter Text
"You okay?" Tighnari asked, once the door was closed.
Haru shrugged. "I am now."
"You sure?" Nari looked a bit concerned. "From what I saw, those looked fresh. When?"
"Last night. After Mom took my stuff."
"Mmm. You should tell Kazu. He's your partner, he'd appreciate it if you told him."
Haru went silent. He couldn't make Kazu upset.
"But- I don't want them to worry."
"I know you don't, but it'd hurt his feelings more if he found out later."
"He won't find out."
"So you plan on being dishonest?" Nari sighed. "Whatever. Did you at least clean the cuts?"
"I showered this morning."
"Well that's good. Do you want me to bandage them for you?"
Haru glanced down at the mat on the floor. "Sure."
They slid their shorts down, leaving their underwear on, then hoisted themself up onto the bathroom counter.
Nari glanced away, a slight blush on her face as she began washing her hands.
"Oh, come on, we have the same bits," Haru scoffed. "And I'm still covered."
"I know, I know." Nari dried his hands, then leaned down, opening the first aid supplies drawer. "It's still a bit weird."
"Only if you make it weird."
"That's true." Nari tore open a little packet, pulling out a wipe. "Might sting," he warned.
Haru winced as the alcohol wipe was swiped across their thigh, leaving a stinging sensation over all the cuts it touched. It was then flipped over and swiped over the other thigh.
Nari tossed the wipe in the trash, opening a large bandage.
The door opened.
Both Nari and Haru jumped, the bandage fell to the floor, and Haru quickly covered their cuts with their hands.
"Alhaitham, what the fuck?!" Tighnari exclaimed.
The taller teen shut the door behind him. "What? You two left and went in here and I wanted to see what was wrong."
"It's a bathroom," Nari scolded. "You don't go into an occupied bathroom without knocking."
"You were both in here, it wasn't like I was gonna see anything I shouldn't." Alhaitham leaned against the door. "What's going on?"
Nari leaned to pick up the bandage from the floor.
Haru rolled his eyes at the younger teen. "Nothing."
Alhaitham glanced down at their thighs. "Sure doesn't look like nothing."
Haru looked down. Their hands didn't quite cover everything.
Nari ripped open a clean bandage. "I was bandaging these, because I know damn well Haru won't do it themself."
Haitham hummed. "Of course."
The black-haired teen spread the bandage out over a couple of the deeper cuts. "If you're gonna make snarky comments, you might as well leave. Unless you want me to beat your ass."
"I won't say anything stupid."
Haru rolled their eyes, but they knew Alhaitham wouldn't go back on his word.
"So, Haru, what happened?" Haitham asked, a note of concern in his voice.
Haru scoffed. "I called my mom an asshole, so she took my stuff away, and I cut myself because I didn't have anything else to do."
Nari placed a bandage on their other leg. "I should teach you how to crochet, so you have something to do."
"I could lend you some of my books," Haitham offered. "I have a few you might like."
"Hmm. I'll consider," Haru answered.
"Well that's something, at least," Haitham mumbled. "Y'know, sometimes I wonder if you're actually trying to stop cutting."
"I'm not."
Nari snorted. "Figured as much."
Haitham sighed. "It'll kill you one of these days. At the very least, disable you. You could severely damage a nerve, or get an infection that leads to an amputation."
"Are you trying to scare them?" Nari asked.
"Yes."
Haru sighed. "I... I know I should want to stop. I just don't. Every time I try I miss it and start again."
Alhaitham and Tighnari shared a glance.
"You're addicted," Haitham stated.
"No shit, Sherlock," Haru scoffed.
Haitham continued, "But the first and hardest step is admitting you have a problem, and you've just done that."
Nari finished the bandages. "Yeah. You can recover. It's not like there's no hope for you. But, come on, let's go watch Cyno kick everyone's asses in Uno."
Haru pulled their shorts on, and Tighnari gently rubbed their shoulder. "Need a hug?" she asked.
"I... Why not."
Nari pulled them into a hug. Alhaitham, who was not a touchy person, stood aside so he wouldn't accidentally get brushed against.
After Nari let go, the three of them left the bathroom, going back to the living room.
The rest of the group, plus Mikoto, we're still playing Uno. Based on the amount of cards in their hands, Cyno was about to win, Mikoto would be a close second, and Kazuha wouldn't be able to hold any more cards. It looked like they were already holding half the deck.
Haru sat down on their original seat, looking over Kazu's shoulder.
He had a bunch of greens, yellows, and blues, but no red cards. Out of the cards they did have, most of them were skips, reverses and draw 2's. All unusable.
Haru chuckled, leaning back and watching the game play out.
Sure enough, Cyno won, and Kazu threw down the deck of cards he was holding with a loud "damnit!" They weren't actually upset, though, judging by the big smile on their face.
Mikoto happily helped them put the cards away. "So, Kaveh, remember when you said you'd bring me that recipe for red velvet cake?"
She smiled. "Of course! I have it in my bag. I'll go get it for you." The blonde got up, walking back over to their chair, where their bag rested.
Mikoto stood up happily, as Kaveh handed her a folded up sheet of paper.
"Here you go."
Mikoto unfolded the paper, squealing happily and running into the kitchen.
Haru laughed softly. Once their sister was in a baking mood, nobody could stop her. They were glad Mikoto could cook. Their mother's cooking skills were... Not good, to say the least. Haru never wanted to taste another one of their mom's twisted version of a cheesecake.
They remembered how Yae Miko, their mother's best friend, would always bring home cooked meals over for them to eat. Haru couldn't blame their mother for not knowing how to cook, she was never taught when she was younger, and when she was older she'd been too busy with her career to learn. Once Haru knew how to cook food more complex than spaghetti, Auntie Miko's food wasn't common in their house anymore.
Luckily, their friends' parents knew of the situation, so they'd bring food over at least once a fortnight. Kaveh frequently brought over his own delicious cooking, too. Anytime she brought food, there was nothing left by the end of the meal.
Kaveh's cooking was Haru's eating disorder's biggest enemy.
Speaking of Kaveh's cooking, it seemed they were intent on helping Mikoto start the cupcakes. He was following her into the kitchen.
Haru sighed, leaning against the back of the armchair. How much had they slept last night?
Not enough, it seemed.
Kazu took notice of their exhaustion, coming up and sitting down on the arm of the chair.
"You alright?"
"Nope."
"What's wrong?"
Tighnari made eye contact with Haru, and he gave them a look.
Haru sighed. "Can we talk in my room?"
The blonde nodded, standing up. "Alright then."
Once they were upstairs in Haru's room, and the door was locked behind them, Haru collapsed onto their bed.
"I thought you said you wanted to talk?"
"I can talk and lay down."
Kazu chuckled. "Were you not able to sleep last night after I woke you?"
"I wasn't asleep yet when you came."
"Mm. Anyway, what's going on?"
The indigo-haired teen went quiet for a moment. Then slowly lifted their shorts leg to reveal the cuts, mostly patched up but the shallow ones still visible.
Kazu stared. "Did your mom say something?"
"No. I just didn't have anything else to do 'cause I had no phone. Ran out of tissues, too, almost bled everywhere."
Kazu sighed. "That's not healthy, you know. Self-harm shouldn't just be something you do when you're bored. Come onnn, you told me you'd try to get clean."
"Oh, come on, you're only about a week clean yourself," Haru mumbled.
Kazu gave a nervous chuckle. "I- I know, pot calling the kettle black, and all, but I'm still right."
Haru moved their shorts leg down, nuzzling into their pillows. The mattress shifted as Kazu sat next to them, gently stroking their indigo hair.
"I... I promise I'm not mad.*
"I know."
Kazu stood up, taking Haru's hand. "Let's go back downstairs. Maybe we can watch a movie?"
"Eh, why not?"
"Maybe we should let Alhaitham pick," Kazu suggested. "If it's a movie even he'll watch, you know it's good."
After asking Alhaitham, it turned out he did not want to watch a movie, so that didn't happen. He did, however, say he wasn't opposed to listening to more music, which prompted Nari to turn on her music again.
"What's this?" Cyno asked from his spot on the floor, where he was scrolling through Tiktok.
" 'Megitsune' by Babymetal," Nari answered, picking up their crochet project.
Haitham nodded, turning the page in his book, and petting the brown and white cat who had slipped back into his lap. Zazzie loved Haitham.
Soon, Kaveh came back to the living room, sitting down on their chair and continuing to scribble in their sketchbook.
Kazu sat down next to Haru, gently stroking their hair.
Mikoto came back into the living room, saying something about having all the ingredients, and sat down on the floor next to Cyno, who began showing her Tiktoks.
Tighnari was working away on his crochet project. It almost looked like the bottom half of a teddy bear.
But, of course, good things had to end eventually, because Kaveh got a call from his mother that she needed him home soon, and since Kaveh drove them all here, everyone had to go.
Mikoto and Haru sadly waved goodbye as everyone loaded into Kaveh's car, and drove away. Haru continued to wave until they'd turned off of the street, and out of view.
And once Haru was back inside, they headed straight to their room. They were gonna take a nice, long nap.
"YOU SERIOUSLY USED WHITE TOWELS?!"
Haru opened their eyes, groggily sitting up and rubbing them. What was their mother mad at now? They yawned, slipping out of bed and walking downstairs.
Ei was standing in front of her daughter, holding up a white dish towel, which was covered in stains that looked like blood.
"Seriously, Mikoto? This is red dye! It's not gonna come out!"
It's not like you'll use those dish towels, anyway, we're the ones who cook, Haru thought.
"I dunno, I just grabbed whatever was closest."
Ei sighed. "Whatever. Next time be more careful what you grab. Go clean up my counter. When will the cupcakes be done?"
"Oh, they've been done for like... Twenty minutes? I was gonna go up and see if Kuni wanted some, I think she's asleep."
Haru wasn't gonna pass up red velvet cupcakes, and quickly went into the kitchen.
"Are we sharing this with anyone or is it just us three?" Haru called, grabbing a plate and putting four out of the twelve unfrosted cupcakes on it.
"Just us," Ei answered, standing next to them and grabbing her own share of cupcakes. "And make sure that plate comes back downstairs."
Haru rolled their eyes as they went back up to their room and quickly devoured the cupcakes. Which they immediately felt guilty for, and began scratching at their cuts, reopening a few.
"God, why can't I just decide whether I want to eat or not before I eat," Haru mumbled to themself. They stared at their shirtless body in the mirror, covering their breasts because they really didn't like looking at them.
But, of course, Haru knew they wouldn't be able to decide. They'd always feel guilty for eating. The best solution in their eyes was to just stop eating.
Which was likely what they'd try to do.
That night, before Haru went to bed, their mother gave them back their phone and tablet, with a stern warning about watching their mouth.
When they booted up their phone, they saw a bunch of texts in their friend group chat on Instagram. (They preferred Instagram over text messaging because not all of them had iPhones and their fancy texting software.)
They scrolled past everything about meeting at Haru's house, instead looking at the new messages from Cyno.
Cyno
Do you guys have any plans on Sunday
Tighnari
no why
Cyno
I was thinking we should all go to town and just hang out all day
(1 like)
Kaveh
sojnds good ill drivw
Tighnari
please turn your autocorrect on istg Kaveh
Kaveh
nk
no
Cyno
what does everyone else think
Haru
sounds good to me, I'm in