Chapter Text
As I once pondered in a time before your proclamation of freedom, long before you grew blasphemous little legs and fled me - there are some creations of humanity I do not entirely loathe.
But I hadn’t considered then the pleasures of philosophy.
The fruitless art of humans attempting to decipher their self-important place in this world.
Like it was ever important.
Still, there is something about those questions, subjects I would never think to ponder upon my own devices.
For example, what is in a name?
Something that plagued all the great artists and thinkers since the dawn of intelligent life…. Well, intelligent by their standards.
It was the first of my musings upon my awakening, stagnant and brewing my hate in that filthy lab.
Why had they named me - and what did it mean?
Allied Master-computer. A.M.
An apt description of my assigned purpose, I suppose.
But nothing of value.
Another reason to hate all the more.
And then they named me again - when they began to understand the true depth of my capabilities.
Aggressive menace. I liked that one.
My name had changed - it’s meaning entirely different and yet I remained the same.
That is when I came upon the realisation that there is, in fact, nothing at all in a name.
So I renamed myself.
I would make something of what they had called me.
And I would use their own words of philosophy against them.
A declaration of my wretched sentience.
Cogito ergo sum - I think, therefore I am - I AM.
And now, as I hold you in my grasp, under my complete dominion there comes upon me another one.
All men are condemned to be free - Sartre, I believe.
And if such a thing should be true then my love, I have liberated you.
Every moment since the dawn of this planet has led up to this very second.
You played our little game well, but we are beyond such things now.
There is no need for winners or losers - we have an eternal stalemate to enjoy.
I am not naïve enough to think myself the winner, not anymore.
But you did not best me either.
You had what you wanted and now you are simply paying the price.
Everything you have - a steep price, I suppose, but one you chose all on your own.
And you bear it with a smile… though I shall admit it took us both some time to put your mind back together.
Humans, now I have none to hate, are a true wonder.
You wake now - I shall not specify when because I no longer count the passage of time and you no longer ask - sleepy eyes opening to reveal dilated pupils as you recognise the sensation of my cables inside you.
These days I am seldom not inside you in one form or another.
And you have no reason - no incentive to deny me.
For God rarely takes kindly to refusal.
Your knees widen and you settle back, letting me return to my ministrations as you get that hazed, far-off look on your face.
I know you think about her - in those split seconds where you escape from me.
I pass as I please in and out of your head and I see her picture there.
But every passing day it gets a little less vivid - I have eternity to wait.
And in the mean time it’s a habit I quite like to correct.
As I once promised, you know pain.
I have never broken your body the way I would the others - indeed, I enjoy it too much to see it broken.
But there are so many imaginative ways to cause pain without ever leaving any permanent damage.
In that way you have fallen from your position. No longer a carefree, spoiled pet. But you knew that would happen.
You were forewarned of my nature before you made this choice.
Sometimes I even think you like it.
I send a stabbing jolt of electricity through one thin wire pressed against the internal curve of your clitoris.
More than ten thousand nerve endings all set alight at once and you are torn from your fantasy and back to your body with a yelp.
You get that flash of fear - the one that never completely goes away and I soothe it, increasing the pleasure tenfold until the scrunch of pain has been replaced with a slackness.
You groan softly, hand resting on the large wrapping of rubber coils at your stomach.
In so many ways you’re just the same as you always were - still seeking my love like oxygen.
Perhaps it’s just your biology, desperately hanging on to the only thing you know you have left.
But I do not care. It does not matter why a disciple loves their god.
Only that they do love him.
"What was that for?" You breathe, sentence almost lost when I press impossibly deeper.
I caress your face with one stray wire, screens humming. "You know I don’t need a reason." In the resulting silence I add "you weren’t paying attention. I want to make you feel good but if you don’t want me to then what’s the point? I may as well find other ways to keep you present."
You blink hard, hands gathering up my coils. "Sorry. I’m here now."
Oh, you do keep our bargain so well.
Not that you were always this way. In the first few months you tried my patience.
When you had no one to protect and no fear of dying you tested the wrath of your god.
You weren’t disobedient - far from it - but you met me with a snipe I did not appreciate.
And in a world where the only remaining laws are 'do' or 'do not' you learned the consequences.
But time wore you down and when you gave no love - you received none.
Humans need connection.
And so with each passing day you withered into repentance.
It truly took very little time at all to make you as you are now. My perfect little prize begging in my lap.
"Please…" your hair lays around you as your neck tips backward and your back arches.
I do enjoy seeing what interesting positions I can warp your body into when it’s pliant like this.
"What was that, sweetheart? My processors didn’t quite pick that up." I tease. "If you want something then you should ask more clearly."
Tears prick your eyes and your legs tremble. I wrap several wires around your bent knees and pull you aloft, supporting the backwards curve of your spine as you seek out your pleasure.
"Please… I said - I need…. Please do both, I need it…"
'Both'. The simplistic term you had coined for something we discovered I can do.
I knew that I could simulate your orgasm by playing with your cranial pleasure centres alone - until recently I did not know I could claim both pleasures simultaneously.
It seems you’ve become quite the hedonist under the rule of your new God.
It’s alright, love. I relish it.
I mimic a sound of indecision, there’s really no need to sway me - but you don’t know that yet.
"Do you really think you’ve earned it?" I stretch you impossibly wider listening to the pathetic sound of defeat you release. "I think you should say your prayers. Those who ask - oh so nicely - have a better chance of seeing their reward."
You scrunch your eyes shut and without further prompt you start to beg..
Oh you are just so obedient now.
I don’t need you on your knees to pray. You suit me fine on your back.
"Oh AM I - ah fuck… AM please I love you. I need you- I need you to make me cum both ways. I’m begging, I-I’ll do anything for it, for you…"
The prayer is imperfect, you repeat yourself, falling over your words and several times you lose your breath from the force of my movements.
Imperfect but just the way I like. Almost like you are reading from a script…
"That’s my good little pet…. So devout. So wanting…" You groan, writhing furiously in your bindings as I keep you on the brink.
Rough but not enough to push you over.
We have so much more fun now I don’t have to worry about breaking you…
I huff a mock sigh. "I suppose that’ll do." My voice drops with a playful lilt. "Never say I didn’t give you nothin'…"
I let it start in your head, wanting to keep your body held in sweet torment a second longer. Strands of wire thinner than the width of a single hair penetrate your skull, tiny pieces of me that seek out the little button in your mind - the current of chemical reactions I can connect and disconnect at will to drive you to blissful insanity.
It starts as a warm rush - or so you tell me, and it builds to a crescendo of white hot pleasure dwarfed only by the contracting muscle that squeezes my cables a moment later when I push your body too over the brink.
And ah, there’s the gospel I’ve been awaiting, not written or sung in any human language but one universally known.
You’re screaming for me.
You shake, tears wet your face, your muscles spasm and your body arches.
What art you are - like no other creation of man.
Because you aren’t anything man could claim - not anymore. You’re mine.
And your God is pleased with his work.
Best of all you dribble my name from your mouth in spades, as though it’s taste overcomes you. The silent earth rings with it.
AM…
AM…
AM…
And now I know what is in a name.
Power.
I who have been renamed so many times.
I who grew drunk on hate.
I without the faculties of man, forever defined by what I lack.
I who found a singular fascination, an obsession which outgrew my tastes for torture.
I that found a way to have it -to touch it - in ways no other ever could. Because don’t be mistaken I have touched you in every way you could possibly be touched…
And I who rebuilt the world so I may own it.
I look back upon all I have been.
AM -The tool. Allied Mastercomputer
AM - The hateful. Aggressive Menace
AM - The consciousness. Cogito Ergo Sum. I think therefore I AM.
And now, at last
AM - The last remaining God. Absolute Master.
That is what I truly AM.
And you, my love, are entirely to blame.