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Hope is something you give yourself

Chapter 26

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The morning finally started for Sokka and Aang who got up lazily to find out they were the only ones in their apartment. At first they weren"t sure if they should be worried, until they remembered about the healing lesson that Katara and Zuko were going to attend. After that they were just sitting there, bored.

"Well, we don"t know how long it"s gonna take, so I don"t think they"ll mind if we go get some breakfast, right?" Sokka suggested eventually.

"Shouldn"t we wait for them?" Aang replied unsurely.

It was a guilting thought, but Sokka pushed it aside quickly in favor of his hunger.

"But what if they already ate? We"d be starving ourselves for no reason." he pointed out.

"That"s true." Aang responded reluctantly "Oh, maybe we can grab something for them, just in case? Like a sandwich?"

"What sandwich?" Katara"s voice sounded from the door, making both boys startle.

"Hey, Katara! How was the lesson?" Aang asked, happy to see her as always.

Before she could answer, Sokka cut in "And where"s Zuko?"

"He stayed with Master Yugoda. She agreed to teach him." she explained quickly, then turning to Aang "And her lecture was great. She"s really good at explaining those things, I had no idea I actually did something like that. She even-"

"Alright, so maybe you can tell us more about it on the way to get some breakfast?" Sokka cut in smugly "We were going to wait for you both, but if Zuko"s not coming back yet, then maybe he won"t mind?"

Katara smirked at the remark of wanting to wait, since she heard their plan to just get them something, but she let it go. "Alright. Maybe we can find a spot with food on that map?"

"What map?" Sokka asked with confusion, but then slapped his forehead "Right! We have a city map!"

"Aren"t you supposed to be the map-guy?" his sister teased, making Aang giggle.

"Hey! I am the one and only map guy!" Sokka pouted, while walking towards the table to check the map "Let"s see... Hmm... There is a fish market by the port... maybe we can eat something there? Aaand check out their boats at the same time! I"m a genius!"

Aang winced slightly at the thought of finding something vegetarian to eat at the fish market, but seeing how excited Sokka got, he decided not to mention it.


As Zuko retraced back the path memorized from the morning, his mind was still on all the information he gained from the Water Tribe healer. It occupied him so much that he was surprised when a sudden chill came over him, and he realized that he was walking around freezing. Smacking himself mentally he rubbed his hands, and took a breath of fire. As he exhaled a big cloud of smoke, he felt a familiar warmth spreading through his body. Contented, he continued walking, when he heard:

"Hey, what are you thinking, boy? Wandering around in this weather without a proper coat, and freezing your backside off? Didn"t your mum teach you any better?"

He turned around to see who the nagging voice belonged to, and he noticed an older woman watching him disapprovingly. The remark about his mother struck a nerve, but before he could answer, the woman"s face softened, as she said "And what happened to your face…?"

The instinct made him turn his face to hide the scar, even though it was too late "It"s nothing."

"You"re not from around here, are you?" the woman asked, obviously realizing she would have heard about a young boy scarred so badly.

"No. I"m not." he said sternly, hoping she would just walk away, but the woman only sighed.

"You should really get a better coat." she said with a small smile "See, my neighbour Kira is a tailor, she makes really nice coats. And her prices are fair, not like those stalls in the Main Market, trying to fleece folks. I could take you to her shop, it"s right next to-"

"It"s not necessary. I"m warm enough." he said, and seeing she was about to protest, he added "Besides, I don"t have any money on me."

She clicked her tongue disapprovingly "And you don"t… Are you here alone?"

Zuko was starting to lose his patience in this ridiculous exchange, it felt like she treated him like a stray child.

"I"m not! And this is none of your business." he stressed impatiently. Maybe he should just explain who he is and mention the Avatar before he gets in trouble because of some misunderstanding? It irked him to have to rely on someone else"s reputation. Why couldn"t that woman just walk away?

"Then- wait a second. You look… Aren"t you by a chance that Fire Nation Prince that came with the Avatar?" she wondered loudly, taking a scrutinising look, and the boy was tempted to lie or flee, but after a thought she added "But you don"t seem dangerous at all!"

Zuko was taken aback by two things - first, did the people around expect him to be a direct threat or some kind of monster? And second, what did she mean he didn"t seem dangerous? He was sure he could take many of their warriors from what he"s seen, probably some benders too. But something told him that convincing her that he was indeed dangerous would be a bad idea. So while he wondered what he was even supposed to say to something like this, the woman suddenly froze.

"Wait… Are you supposed to be here alone?"

He opened his mouth to defend himself, but she quickly added "Are you gonna mug me?"

"...What?! No!" he finally said, dumbfounded at the direction it was going. "I"m not here to cause any trouble, calm down."

He really tried to emphasise the last part, because if she went on it and called the guards or something like that, he could really get in trouble.

Before she could answer, a man carrying a bundle of fish walked up, apparently drawn by their odd behavior.

"What"s going on here?" he asked, his tone wary as he glanced between the woman and Zuko.

"It"s just a misunderstanding. But I think It"s settled, so I"ll-" the prince started, giving the woman a meaningful look.

The man"s gaze landed on Zuko"s scar, and his expression darkened. "So it"s true. Fire Nation." he muttered. "What"s someone like you doing here? Spying for your people?"

"No." Zuko said sharply, stepping back a pace. "I"m not spying. I"m not here to cause trouble."

"Then what are you here for, huh?" the man demanded, his voice rising. "We don"t need someone like you sneaking around our streets!"

The tension in the air thickened as a few passersby slowed, watching the scene unfold. Zuko"s stomach twisted. He could feel the situation spiraling out of control.

"I don"t owe you an explanation." he said stiffly. "I"m just passing through."

"Passing through? Fire Nation doesn"t just pass through here in Agna Qel"a!" the man snapped, taking a step closer.

"Hey, calm down!" Zuko said sharply. "I"m not looking for a fight."

But the man was already squaring his shoulders, his hand drifting toward the hilt of a knife at his side. "Maybe we should make sure you don"t cause any problems."

"Enough." The firm voice cut through the growing tension, and everyone turned to see two guards approaching with serious expressions.

"What"s happening here?" one of them asked, his sharp eyes scanning the group.

"This boy"s Fire Nation!" the man with the fish said immediately. "He shouldn"t be wandering around like this!"

The guard"s gaze locked on Zuko, lingering on the scar. "Are you Prince Zuko?"

Zuko hesitated, then nodded stiffly. "Yes."

The guard nodded once. "We were told you"re traveling with the Avatar. You"re not restricted here, but I suggest you avoid drawing attention to yourself."

Zuko blinked, surprised by how well-informed the guards were. "I wasn"t trying to cause trouble." he muttered, glaring at the man with the fish.

"Move along, people!" the guard said to the onlookers, his tone leaving no room for argument. The crowd dispersed reluctantly, only the man with the fish muttered something under his breath as he stalked away.

The older woman hesitated, seemingly a little conflicted, before finally turning and leaving with a quiet sigh and a shake of the head.

Zuko let out a breath he hadn"t realized he was holding. It wasn"t like he wouldn"t handle some random troublemaker, but it would be a whole different situation if these guards found him actually fighting.

"Thanks." he said grudgingly to the guards.

"Don"t thank us. That"s our orders." one of them replied flatly. "Just don"t give us a reason to change our minds."

He watched grimly as they walked away, trying to pull his collar higher.

"Just my luck… Maybe this coat really brings attention? Literally everyone here wears blue. Even if I don"t need it, it would actually be a good thing to blend in… Or at least try to." he thought as he touched his scar. It will always make him stand out, won"t it?


They reached Beiduan Harbor much faster than the Lieutenant had expected. The ships" engines were running on top speed, so it was a smart decision to restock on coal at the northernmost port of Earth Kingdom before setting sail for the Northern Water Tribe. But being able to set everything up, along with the delivery of such an amount of coal on such a short term… Jee suspected it was the Princess"s doing; Zhao alone probably wouldn"t have access to such resources, if he even thought about such a strategy in the first place.

It gained them some time already, but now they were just waiting until the restock was completed. Jee rubbed his hands, blowing on them to warm them up a bit, while lazily watching the soldier coming in the opposite direction, limping on his crutches.

"Quite cold, isn"t it?" the soldier said with a humorless voice as if in a grim greeting. Lieutenant eyed him a little - he definitely didn"t look like a fresh recruit, but he was still a relatively young man, and Jee was a bit surprised by the bitterness in his voice. Though maybe he shouldn"t be, allotment in such an abandoned outpost could likely be considered a punishment. Hardly anything happens in this part of Earth Kingdom continent anymore and the outpost itself didn"t look well supplied; the harsh cold weather only adds to it. All it combined could probably do that to a man.

"I"ve had worse." Jee responded with an understanding smile "It"s not that bad, compared to the poles" cold."

"Oh. You"ve been on the north pole before?" the man asked with an interest. Either that or decided to use this brief chat as an opportunity to rest before limping along any further.

"No, but I"ve been on a south pole." he explained "I was a part of Prince Zuko"s crew. The boy would rush all around the world trying to find the Avatar. And then to hunt him down." he mused, quieting down. He couldn"t help wondering what happened to the prince after their failed plan to reunite him with Iroh.

"Wait, Prince Zuko?! Did he-" the man blurted suddenly, before stopping himself as if he was caught on something improper. He took a quick look to see if no one was listening before approaching him closer. "Do you happen to know what happened to the prince? We hardly get any news here, but there was this poster, so he survived after Pohuai, right?"

The sudden eagerness in his voice took Jee by surprise. There wasn"t really any confidentiality on information about the prince from what he knew, so while he wasn"t sure about his motives he could as well brief him in.

"Well, he must have. That kid"s too stubborn to die." he laughed "Zhao"s been chasing him since then, but the Prince travelling with the Avatar surely didn"t make it any easier for him."

Surprisingly, the man smirked "And he said he didn"t work with the Avatar. It really looked like he wasn"t gonna make it, but..." he said, adding almost to himself "It"s not all lost now."

It definitely wasn"t anything Jee would have expected to hear from a random soldier.

"How do you know all this? And who exactly are you?" he asked, stiffening a bit.

The soldier hesitated for a fraction of a second before speaking. "Mukan. I… I was there at Pohuai when prince Zuko showed up, and- Maybe we can talk somewhere more private?"


The trio made their way through the bustling streets of the Northern Water Tribe, the chill air alive with the sounds of daily life. Sokka walked slightly ahead, holding the map they"d taken from the apartment. Katara and Aang followed closely behind, their steps light as they took in the city"s impressive architecture, carved from glistening ice.

"We"re almost there." Sokka said, his tone extraordinarily confident as he pointed down a wide avenue. "The fish market should be just ahead by the port. Perfect timing too - I"m starving."

"You"re always starving." Katara teased, though her tone lacked any real bite.

Aang couldn"t help but smile at the familiar bickering. Still, his stomach growled, and he finally decided to express his worries. "So, about this fish market... Do you think they"ll have anything vegetarian?"

Sokka hesitated before replying "Well, it"s a fish market..."

"I think they might have some seaweed or dumplings or something." Katara reassured Aang, but her brother just scoffed.

"Seaweed? That"s just ocean grass! Who eats that willingly?"

"Plenty of people!" she replied "And it"s nutritious. You cannot avoid eating them forever."

"Yeah, well, I"ll stick with meat for now, thank you very much."

They rounded the corner, and the smell hit them before the sight did. The salty tang of fresh fish mingled with the earthy aroma of grilled skewers and steamed buns wafted through the air. Stalls lined the waterfront, each one crowded with eager shoppers bartering for the day"s catch. Fish of every shape, size, and color lay in neat displays, some frozen into blocks of ice to keep them fresh. The vendors" shouts blended into a lively cacophony, while wooden boats bobbed gently at the nearby docks.

"Whoa." Aang said, eyes wide as he took in the lively scene. "This place is huge!"

Sokka"s face lit up. "And it smells delicious. See? I told you this was a good idea."

Katara rolled her eyes but smiled. "Alright, let"s split up. Aang, maybe you can find something vegetarian, and we"ll meet back here once we"ve gotten enough for everyone - including Zuko."

"Good call!" Aang agreed. "I"ll keep an eye out for seaweed!" He darted off toward a quieter section of the market.

Sokka watched him go and turned to Katara. "Think he"s actually gonna find anything he"ll eat?"

"Probably." she said, smirking. "But I"m more worried about what you"re going to spend our money on."

Sokka gasped, feigning insult. "How dare you? I"m an excellent budgeter."

"Uh-huh. Let"s just make sure we don"t end up with an entire basket of jerky."

Sokka opened his mouth to protest but stopped short when his nose led him to a skewer stall. "Okay, but what if it"s really good jerky?"

Katara sighed, shaking her head as she followed him.

As Sokka began haggling with the vendor, Katara"s attention was drawn to a group of locals gathered near a stall selling dried fish. They tried to keep it down, but clearly the discussion was too heated for it.

"I don"t understand why Chief Arnook would allow it." a woman said sharply. "Bringing a Fire Nation prince into our city? What"s he thinking?"

"It"s the Avatar"s doing." a man replied, his tone skeptical. "The boy just reappears after a hundred years and thinks he knows what"s best for us? He"s a child!"

Katara stiffened slightly, glancing at Sokka, but he was too engrossed in his negotiations to notice. She moved closer to the group, pretending to be interested in the woven baskets on the stall next to them.

"Careful what you say." another voice cut in, this one firm. "He might be young, but he"s the Avatar. He wouldn"t bring someone dangerous here without a good reason."

"You"re too trusting, Orn." the first woman snapped. "How can we be sure this prince isn"t here to spy on us - or worse?"

"My cousin"s a guard in the palace, and he heard that the prince betrayed his own nation, and he"s wanted." the skeptical man added.

"It doesn"t make sense." the second man agreed. "Besides, even if the boy"s a traitor to the Fire Nation, what"s stopping him from betraying us next? He"s still one of them. I say we shouldn"t just sit around and wait "til we find out what"s he really here for."

Katara clenched her jaw, her grip tightening on the basket she held. She didn"t notice that Sokka, who"d finished his purchase, had been listening for a while too. Pretending to inspect woven containers, he leaned closer to her.

"Hear that?" he murmured.

"Hard not to." Katara muttered back. "Should we say something...?"

"Hey, are you buying somethin" or not, kids?" the seller"s stern voice sounded loudly, startling both siblings. "If not, then make space for paying customers."

Katara smiled embarrassedly, and was about to give some excuse when suddenly one of the argument participants raised his voice with evident frustration.

"The Avatar knows what he"s doing! If Chief Arnook trusts his judgment, so should we. Would you rather drive the Avatar away over a few suspicions? What kind of allies would that make us?"

"Maybe not, but we"re the ones who"ll pay the price if he"s wrong." the older man retorted. "We"ve been out of that war for 80 years, but with Avatar here who knows what is going to happen."

Katara frowned, her thoughts were racing. It seemed like the local opinion was split, and not everyone here was convinced that trusting the Avatar and his companions was the right decision. The warm welcome they received in princess Yue"s presence yesterday certainly didn"t feel like it, but then again she shouldn"t be surprised - people were more likely to share their true opinions in private.

Before the conversation could spiral further, another woman walked up to the loud group and gestured toward the entrance of the market. "Everyone calm down." she said, her voice carrying over the crowd. "The Avatar"s right there at the market. Perhaps you"d want to find out what he thinks about your concerns?"

There were some displeased murmurs, but the small crowd dispersed slowly.

"I think we should take this food to go." Sokka said quietly "Docks sightseeing can wait for now."

His sister gave him a nod, and they started to look for Aang, which wasn"t actually hard - he attracted a small crowd around him again. It made Katara wonder why no one was interested in them two, but she realized that without Aang next to them, they could easily pass as locals.

Finally they pushed themselves through the crowd and noticed Aang performing his favorite airbending trick with spinning rocks, much to the excitement of some kids who were watching him closely. It brought a smile to Katara"s face, but remembering what they"ve just heard, she reluctantly moved to get his attention.

"Hey, Aang! Did you manage to pick something for yourself?" she asked him.

His face lit up even more when he noticed his friends "Oh, Katara! It kinda slipped my mind. What about you guys?" he asked as he approached them.

"Well, we got some jerky?" Sokka shrugged "I think we can last on it for a while."

"Uhm, okay… Then let me just grab something quickly" Aang said, adding after a moment "I"m not sure Zuko likes jerky either. Maybe I"ll get something for him too."

"I think this place sells something good. Want to try it?" Katara said with a smile, though a little impatiently. It surprised Aang, but he just followed her inside the small settlement.

He cringed a little bit when a smell of the sea prunes hit his nose, and he started to worry she"ll actually make him eat it, since it was a vegan option. Fortunately there was also a seaweed stew, which he ordered with relief. It couldn"t be worse than sea prunes, right?

"So, what did you get for yourself?" he asked the siblings as they sat down to wait for the food.

"A fish for Sokka, and dumplings for me and Zuko." Katara replied absently, glancing outside the window.

"What? How do you know Zuko doesn"t want a fish too? Real men need meat!" Sokka protested silently.

"Then next time we"ll get him something else if he doesn"t like it." she rolled her eyes, finally directing her attention back to the boys "But he was never a picky eater when I was cooking, so I don"t think he"d mind."

"Katara, is something wrong?" Aang finally asked, concerned with her sudden mood change. "I thought you wanted to come here?"

She exchanged looks with Sokka, and tried to conjure a smile on her face "I"m sorry Aang. We can-"

"Yeah. Everything"s alright." Sokka cut in suddenly "But I think it"s better if we take this food and go find Zuko. We can come back to see the docks with him later too."

Katara glanced at him with wide eyes, realizing what he meant. If there were such rumors going on, then it"d be better for Zuko not to be left on his own. The guilt of leaving him alone at the healing huts crept in, and she clenched her fists on the corner of her coat. But how could she have known? These people seemed so friendly at first…

Suddenly, Sokka"s voice snapped her out of her thoughts "Hey, Katara? I think that"s our order. I"ll go pick it up and we can go."

She gave a nod, rising from her seat. She watched Sokka as he moved to the counter, when she noticed Aang still was watching her with concern painted all over his face.

"What"s wrong…?" he asked quietly.

The girl gave a quiet sigh, unsure what to say. She didn"t want to worry him with what they found out, but she didn"t want to lie either. "I just… I"m a little worried about Zuko being on his own here. Some people might be… uh, confused if they recognise him, so it"d be easier to explain when we"re with him."

"Oh, I see." Aang replied, surprised "I"m sure Zuko can handle it. Besides, he doesn"t like it when we"re onto him too much, right?"

"Uh, yeah." she said quickly "You"re probably right."

"So… That"s it? You"re just worried about Zuko…?" he asked, more flatly than he meant.

It served to annoy her slightly "Yes. I know, he can take care of himself." she huffed, and noticing Sokka approaching with a bundle in his hands, she added sharply "Can we go now?"

"Gee, I didn"t take that long. Calm down." Sokka replied indignantly.

"Sorry. I didn"t mean it…" she murmured guiltily.

"Besides, why did it cost so much? You were bad mouthing my budgeting and then you order such expensive food?"

"It"s not about the food, Sokka." she said exasperated "Apparently they don"t do take outs usually, and the lady asked for a deposit for the containers. She"ll return it when we bring the containers back."

"Yeah, she better." he huffed in response "I could get a nice share of jerky for this price."

"Don"t you have enough jerky for now?" she bickered weakly. She appreciated the effort to lift her mood, as well as the fast pace he imposed on the way back. Apparently his thoughts were on the same page as hers.


Zuko had never expected that the Water Tribe palace walls could make him feel safer, and yet here he was. He wished he could just yell in frustration or destroy something, but he could probably get in trouble for even that.

"What was I thinking, coming to the Water Tribe"s capital? I knew it was going to happen, I knew it! And like a fool, I still came… They might be naive, but I should have known better. And now I"m trapped here, in this… Damn it!" he raged internally, feeling the fire bursting from his nostrils in frustration. He knew he needed to calm down. And since he couldn"t destroy something to vent like he sometimes used to, he had to find another way. Perhaps some meditation could help?

The fire in the fireplace had gone out through the night and apparently no one bothered to light it up again, but it was no problem for a firebender. A candle would be better, but he couldn"t afford to be picky. With a swift movement he threw some logs from the stash into the fireplace and threw a little flame on them, watching as they caught on fire. He took a deep breath and kneeled in front of it to start meditation.

At first he tried to clear his mind, but the thoughts were still raging through it like a storm. Finally, he shook his head. Basics, Zuko! The breath comes first! - the familiar words passed through his thoughts, and he took a deep breath. Then another. Breathe in, and out. He continued with it for a while, not even noticing when his furrowed brows gradually smoothed out as the tension started to leave his body. He didn"t pay attention to it, now focused entirely on the flames in front of him. Even when he heard the doors opening it was like the sound was muffled. But the quiet alert rang in the back of his mind, and he opened his eyes, blinking a few times before they focused properly.

"Zuko! You"re fine! I mean, you are, right…? Why wouldn"t you be…" Sokka blabbered with an awkward smile, and Zuko raised his eyebrow on him.

"I am fine." he replied, standing up. He actually felt much calmer, enough to realize that Sokka was acting strangely. Like, more than usually. "Are you…?" he asked.

"Pshh, sure! So we"re all, all good. Great!" the teen replied with the same smile.

"We brought some breakfast. Hungry?" Aang said with a smile, looking from one boy to another. They were all acting a bit weird in his eyes today, but he couldn"t quite place it.

"I could eat." Zuko said, glad to drop the odd conversation for the sake of something more pleasant "What"s this?"

"Dumplings. Is it alright?" Katara said, suddenly smirking at her brother "Sokka"s got some fish and jerky if you"d rather switch."

"Dumplings are fine." Zuko replied, much to Sokka"s relief. He took the container from her hand, and added "Thanks."

"You"re welcome." she replied with a smile.

"And I"ve got a seaweed stew. Do you want to try some?" Aang offered with a smile, actually excited to have found something vegetarian without sea prunes. It actually gave him hope there might be more for him to discover in local cuisine.

"Uhm, maybe you try it, and you can just tell us if it"s good?" Zuko offered awkwardly and Sokka snorted with laughter. The prince gave him a confused look, unsure if he said something improper, but Aang didn"t seem offended.

They unpacked their meals, and sat down to enjoy it together. After a while of silent eating Sokka spoke up: "We kinda thought about sightseeing docks today, but uhm… I don"t know, would you be up to it, Zuko?"

The boy in question froze for a moment, still a bit on edge after the earlier encounter with locals. In their group"s company it would probably be much easier, but…

"Honestly, I"d rather stay in." he replied finally, trying to sound as indifferently as possible "But you can go ahead, I"ll wait here."

Sokka exchanged looks with Katara, and then glanced at Aang who was munching on his stew.

"Yeah, actually I think it can wait for now. Who knows how long would it take, and we have this big event in the evening..." 

Katara caught up on it and spoke up too "Hey, Aang. We could tell you what we"ve learnt from the healing lesson today. What do you think?"

The kid gave a big smile "Sure, it sounds great. You didn"t really tell us how it went yet."

"The lecture was great. Master Yugoda is a really good teacher." Zuko commented.

"Yeah, she"s great." Katara agreed happily "I mean, all her students are girls, and much younger than us, but she"s really good at explaining it."

Sokka laughed "So you two are in a class with only little girls besides you?"

"Hey, you were the one to bring the news about this class, weren"t you?" the girl bit back.

"Well, it was the only class for beginners!" 

Notes:

I wasn"t sure I"ll have this chapter ready so soon, but free time around Christmas works wonders ;)