Chapter Text
At 18 years old many things have changed for Tim. Bruce officially adopted him, Jason came back from the dead and then tried to kill him, Jason came home, Bruce replaced him as Robin with some kid, and Tim made his own hero title. But one thing has stayed consistent, Tim Drake-Wayne’s hate for the cold. It was still the worst fucking thing ever.
After his incident as Robin, Bruce spent the entirety of the next day with Tim. The two cuddled up in the theater room, watching movies, and Tim opened up a little. He felt scared telling Bruce about his parents, he didn’t want Bruce to think he was helpless or some spoiled kid. But while Tim was staring at his hands as he talked about what Jack and Janet did to him, Bruce tightened his arm around Tim’s shoulders.
“Tim, what they did was wrong. They left you, a child, abandoned for months. You are my ward now, I will never abandon you like they did, no matter what you do,” Bruce said to a teary-eyed Tim. Tim sniffled, “You promise?” Bruce’s face softened, “I promise.”
Tim has never trusted promises. Jack and Janet always promised things. “Oh we’ll come home soon, we promise.” “I’ll come to your photography show, I promise.” “We love you, we promise.” All of those were fake, but Tim could trust Bruce. Right?
Wrong. Tim learned that what Bruce said was bullshit. Tim trusted someone, finally. He had every reason to, Bruce adopted Tim and cared for him. When Red Hood, the son Bruce wanted back more than anything, tried to kill Tim on the Titian’s Tower. Bruce was a mess. Not because Jason was alive, but because he’d almost lost Tim. Tim finally felt he was loved. But when some kid, who turned out to be Bruce’s biological son showed up, Tim was abandoned yet again.
Tim had a difficult relationship with Jason when he first came back. Tim was terrified because his hero attempted to kill him. But he somehow felt guilty for taking Jason’s title. Robin was Dick’s and passed to Jason. Dick created the Robin, Jason was chosen, but Tim? He blackmailed Bruce for it.
Bruce explained to Tim that he saved Batman and Bruce Wayne, and that alone proved he deserved Robin, but Tim won't believe him. Jason only made that feeling worse, he proved that Tim was weak. Tim was nothing better than a spoiled child who thought he could help people.
Tim had always known one day his time as Robin would end, whether it happened by Tim taking up a new role, an injury, dying, or any number of reasons. Death was the most realistic reason because he would never want to give up Robin unless he had to. He wanted the Robin mantel to continue after his death of course. Someone would need to protect Gotham and Batman.
But Robin being stolen from under his feet while he was still alive? That was not listed in Tim’s possibilities.
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After losing Robin Tim didn’t talk to Bruce for three months. Tim holed himself in his room. He ate dinner with the family but ignored Bruce. He got Alfred to drive him to school when Bruce tried to talk to him again. He did cases alone, ensuring anyone but Batman got to handle them.
Tim was honestly depressed during that time, he felt alone again - cold. At first, Tim was in denial about it, Bruce wouldn’t do that, he had promised. Then he was enraged, how could Bruce just do that! He had promised. Then Tim thought, maybe he had done something, maybe Bruce had a bigger picture! He wouldn’t do that without reason, he’d promised. Following that the worst stage, the stage where Tim realized why. Tim knew he was never a good enough Robin, never good enough as a son. Brue broke his promise because Tim must've failed his. Finally, Tim accepted. Promises are always false, and he shouldn’t have been native. Tim accepted that he must return to the cold.
During bad nights, aka nights where Bruce tried to talk to him, Tim went to the Drake Manor, his manor. Tim thought about moving back to the Drake Manor, but whenever he walked inside the cold breeze that rushed off him brought back so many unwanted memories. He had to run outside and throw up in the bushes, before walking those halls again.
Tim spent the night there a few times. He often found himself staring at the portrait above the fireplace. Jack, Janet, and Tim posed with elegance, a perfect family. Tim thought about a similar one in his home the Manor. Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Barbra, Cass, Stephane and Tim. Realizing Bruce would change it brought a teardrop to Tim’s face.
But now it has been roughly two years since Damian joined the family. So it was expected that Tim move on. As long as he tricked the others into thinking it then he had. However, Tim never has fully moved on. Bruce apologized. He said he regretted how he handled it. Bruce admitted that he wanted Tim to grow up into his own title. He thought Robin was holding him back. Their relationship was repaired, but Tim knew it would never be the same. He’d never trust anyone with anything. It’s better to deal with his problems alone, Tim has done it before, so it shouldn’t be hard.
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Gotham winter has been particularly harsh this year so patrols have been less focused on villains and more on civilians. Plus it seems no one wanted to break out of Arkam and have to deal with the cold. Bruce called the Bats to the pre-patrol debrief and surprisingly everyone showed up, even Red Hood was present.
“As you all know, it is cold. This means the homeless population is going to be out and freezing. This means an increase in petty crimes since many are trying to find a place to stay.” Batman directs their attention to the Batcomputer, and Batman begins to zone everyone. “Red Hood and Nightwing, you two responsible for Crime Alley,” a groan is heard from someone - hint: it is not from the bouncing Dick Grayson. “So excited to hang with Little Wing tonight,” Dick says as he messes with Jason's hair. Batman ignores this and points to another part of the map, “Orphan and Spoiler you two have the..” Batman continues by listing the different areas that everyone is patrolling. Tim decides to zone out as he begins to hear Jason bickering with Batman about having to patrol with Dick.
Tim is more focused on how goddamn cold it is. The cave is normally cold, but right now Tim can practically feel his bones shivering. A recent encounter with some new technology must have damaged the heating inside the suit so it wasn’t working. Tim doesn’t want to patrol in this weather anyway, he’d rather curl up in his bed with a hot chocolate. He could always make up an excuse, saying he needs to sleep - which wouldn’t be lying since he is running on two hours of sleep. Or he could admit the error in his suit, but was that an excuse for Batman and the freezing people of Gotham? Tim decides he needs to suck it up.
Another cold shiver runs down Tim’s spine. He tries to hide his discomfort by wrapping his cape around himself, which is a normal sight but he can tell that Dick is looking at him now with a concerned look.
“Red Robin can you handle that area by yourself right,” Batman asks with his eyes still scrolling through the map.
“Where again,” Tim asks, Batman turns to give him a concerned look. “Sorry, I zoned out when Jason started talking,” Jason shouts something about how he could say the same, but Tim puts all his focus on what Batman says. “The docks and some neighborhoods, Oracle will send your map to you. It’s a smaller area, but you can handle it alone?”
“Yes,” is all Tim says. He appreciates the independence that Bruce has been giving him, but sometimes he thinks Bruce is pushing him away.
“Good, then let’s go,” Batman says moving towards the Batmobile. Jason revs up his motorcycle while Dick gets his. Cass and Steph are out of the cave before anyone can say anything. Tim begins to move out of the cave on his bike when Dick approaches him, “You all good? You were shivering during the meeting.”
Tim rolls his eyes, “Yes Dick, I'm fine. I am not a child that needs to be babysat.” “You sure? You look pretty cold still. Maybe you should stay-,” Dick says but is cut off by Jason, “He said he’s fine, let's get going, Dick! I have a bet with Steph going. Stop being such a mother.” Tim motions for him to go, “I promise, I will be fine.” Dick gives Tim another worried look before chasing after a speeding Jason.
Before Bruce enters the Batmobile he too checks on Tim, “You don’t have to go out tonight, Hood can handle it. He wanted to be alone anyway.” “B, I said I’m fine. I am not some kid anymore.” Bruce opens his mouth and then shuts it as Damian tells him to hurry up and stop worrying.
Tim takes this as his chance to get on his bike and speed out of the cave. Goddamn, why do they treat me like such a child, is all Tim can think.
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Patrol is quite like Batman said it would be. Tim hasn’t seen civilians since it began to snow an hour ago. So he just grapples between rooftops, keeping his blood flowing.
Usually, Tim loves quiet nights, but he can feel the snow on his hair, as it slowly melts into water, and then freezes again. He tries to ignore the shivers that have been persistent since being in the cave. Tim can feel himself slowing down between each grapple, taking a moment to catch his breath. That is never a problem but the icy wind he inhales burns the back of his throat making it harder.
Dick has been chattering nonstop on the line because apparently, Crime Alley has gotten boring too. Batman attempted to tell him that the line was strictly for information and Dick argued that, “Reporting the trash animal activity is important information.” After Batman lost that argument he stopped caring about Dick’s chatter.
Tim feels his fingers start to freeze, pulling off a glove he sees that they are white and when he clenches them it hurts to see the red return. To distract himself from his freezing body, Tim attempts to focus on whatever Dick is talking about now, something about an annoying co-worker in Bludhaven? Tim doesn’t know, he can’t keep track and the pain is getting worse. It is climbing up from his toes to his legs.
Tim begins to lose all feelings but a sharp pain. He decides to sit against a brick entrance on some building. Grappling around would be frowned upon by Bruce, something about personal endangerment probably. Tim hears some other voices on the line begin to speak up, but the noise in the comms hurts his ears as they are frozen too. So Tim takes out his comm and drops it beside him, he can still hear the voices but not so loudly.
He wraps his cape around himself as a blanket, trying to warm up his ears he cups his hands over them, but they continue to burn. He should’ve fixed the heating in the suit before patrol.
Tim can feel the effects of hypothermia setting in, but it's already too late. His body is immobilized by the cold. He tries to lift a hand out for the discarded comm to inform Oracle but that action causes him to wince in pain and fall over. He struggles to rewrap himself in a cocoon and fails, leaving him in an exposed fetal position. Tim feels so weak.
This situation is the reason why he lost Robin. Dick and Jason were Robin in leotards and never had this problem! Tim has everything except for his head covered and he is pathetically lying on the ground.
Continued voices come from the comm, but Tim can’t find the strength to reach for it again. Tears unwilling start to roll down his cheeks, freezing in his eyelashes. He feels his eyes begin to shut, it is taking too much effort for his body to keep them open. Next Tim begins to lose control of his breathing, the air burning his nose and throat. He’s so tired.
Tim accepts it, he is going to freeze to death on a random night. What a lame way to die. He won’t become some great hero like Dick and Bruce. He won’t die tragically like Jason did. He won’t learn what a family’s love means like Damian.
Timothy Jackson Drake will die two after two after turning 18. He will die with his last attempt at saving Robin. He will die along with the Drake family name. He will die by his greatest fear, being cold and alone.
This is the end. He is going to die quietly like he lived, brushed away like a sore topic, forgotten about. It was his destiny.
He hears more shouting and boots slamming, not through the comms this time. He feels something touch him, it burns from the warmth it gives off. He pushes himself to open his eyes and sees what it is. When he does he sees a dark frowning face with a pair of blue eyes. He knows the face from somewhere, but he can’t place it anywhere. He just wants to die in peace, he doesn’t need some ghost haunting him.
Tim’s brain clicks the pieces together, realizing whose face it is, “B-b-bruce,” is all Tim can muster out of his mouth. He feels a wash of shame. He needs to explain himself, he needs to prove himself. He tries again to speak but a finger is placed over his lips.
Bruce holds him closer, whispering, “Shhh it's okay now, I got you, Tim. I have you. You don’t need to speak, just rest. You can rest, son.” Tim hears those words and his body stops fighting. He allows himself to drift into the warmth.
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Tim doesn’t remember what happens next. He doesn’t remember how fast Bruce rushed him to the Batmobile, or how the Batmobile was practically breaking the limits of sound with its speed. He doesn’t remember being undressed and changed into dry clothes. He doesn’t remember a needle being stabbed into his skin and pushing in warm blood. He doesn’t remember the sobs that racked through his body as the heat entered, or how Bruce held him tight as he did so. All he remembers is the warmth.
Tim wakes up in a cushy bed, being wrapped under no less than five blankets. He feels a heating pad has been placed underneath him, and more around him. He opens his eyes to see that there are not heating pads around him, but people. Jason was closest to him, Tim’s shoulders almost resting on his chest. Dick was beside Jason holding Tim’s hands as close to his face as he could without hurting Tim. Cass was lying on his left leg, while Stephine was holding onto his right. Damian was folded up between Dick and Jason, his head resting on Tim’s stomach. Tim glances up to see Bruce being used as a pillow for his head, fingers stroking through Tim’s hair.
“Feeling okay, son,” Bruce whispers not stopping the motion. Tim barely nods before Bruce replies, “Then head back to sleep. We have you.” Tim shifts a little so his head is against the crook of Bruce’s neck. Jason scoots closer moving his arms to wrap around Tim. That causes Dick to move and Damian to hit Dick for moving. “Ow that hurt Damian,” Dick whisper cries. “Shut up Grayson, I am sleeping.” “You can’t say that while sleeping-” Dick is cut off by everyone on the bed groaning out, “Shut up!” Dick murmurs something like “Okay, okay.” Tim feels Bruce suppress a chuckle.
Tim drifts back to sleep with a smile on his face. Tim is no longer alone, he is no longer cold. He is warm and loved whether he wants to believe it or not. (For once he does believe it)