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The carriage ride back to their home was charged with a weird kind of tension. It was unlike anything that had passed between them before. Despite their conversation at the ball, a strain had developed between them again. So when they got into their carriage, Penelope had expected Colin to sit opposite her and to look out the window the whole way back, the way he had done for weeks now. So when Colin slipped in beside her, one arm draped around her while he used the other hand to clasp her hands on her lap, she couldn’t help but look up at him with big, bright eyes.
His fingers flexed on hers as he looked down at her, taking in the confused, albeit hopeful expression on her face.
“Is this okay?” He asked as he squeezed her hand.
“Yes.” She whispered back.
He gave her a small smile and tightened his arm around her when he felt her melt into his side. Penelope closed her eyes as she rest her head on his shoulder and breathed in the scent that was distinctly him, her husband, the love of her life. For the first time in… maybe forever, she felt a sense of peace take over her body. A feeling unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She felt completely unburdened, completely free.
She didn’t want to think about it too much, but perhaps she was feeling as such because maybe, for the first time in a long time, she really was actually truly completely unburdened. She felt like she could be herself, she wasn’t hiding anything. Not her identity, nor her love for Colin.
The tension between them eased slightly as they remained curled around each other for the rest of the carriage ride home.
*****
Arriving back at their house, Colin kept his hand in hers as they walked through their home towards their sleeping quarters. Dropping her hand as soon as they shut the door behind them, Penelope felt all hope sink to the pit of her stomach. Her eyes landed on the settee, the one where they’d made love for the first and only time. The one that he’d taken up permanent residence on. The one she wished she could burn because maybe then he’d sleep in their marital bed with her.
Stepping away from him, Penelope looked down at her feet as she lightly swung her arm by her side. The one that he’d previously been holding.
“I should…” She gestured forward their bedroom.
Swallowing hard, he gave her a small nod. She lingered for a moment but then turned away and went into their bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Resting her back against the door, she slumped against it, trying her best to not let disappointment take over. Walking over to the mirror, she looked at herself, turning her head to the side. She liked the way she looked tonight, Rae had done an amazing job helping her get ready, and now she really didn’t want to take it all off. Regardless, she reached round to undo her dress, but she quickly realised that Rae had done her dress up tightly, the way she always did and Penelope was not going to be able to undo it herself.
With a frustrated sigh, Penelope crossed the room sat down on the stool of her vanity. It had been her own idea to tell Rae to go to sleep early, but she’d completely forgotten that she’d need her help to undress. She knew she could ask Colin to help her undo her dress, but she wasn’t going to. Taking out her hairpiece and taking off her jewellery, Penelope tried to figure out how she was going to change of her clothes but failed to come up with an idea. Dropping her face into her hands, she sighed again.
*****
On the other side of the door, Colin paced between their bedroom door and the settee. Keeping himself away from Penelope since their marriage had been hard, but now… For the first time in their marriage, it felt like things were finally falling into place for them, that they were finally ready to start living their married life together. So why, why was he on the wrong side of the door?
Part of him had hoped that she would ask him to come to bed with her, but he understood why she hadn’t. She had told him mere days ago that she wanted to be held by him, kissed by him, yet he had pulled away, put distance between them. She wasn’t going to ask him again, not right away. Slipping off his dinner jacket and waistcoat, Colin lowered his suspenders off his shoulders and undid the buttons of his dress shirt. As he paced back and forth, he tried to listen in for Penelope, but he could hear nothing. And then he heard a frustrated groan and realised, Rae wasn’t here to help her get ready for bed.
*****
Before she could get too lost in her annoyance again, their bedroom door opened again. Looking up, Penelope’s eyes widened as she took in her husband. There he was, his shirt unbuttoned so that she could clearly see the wide expanse of his chest. Jumping to her feet, she looked at him with wide eyes.
“Colin…”
He hesitated in the doorway for a moment, before stepping inside, shutting the door behind him.
“I… I realised Rae wasn’t here and I thought…”
Stepping towards her, he brushed his fingers along her arm, and Penelope felt goosebumps form on her skin.
“I thought… if you need me to… I can, help you undress?” He said it as a question, looking unsure of himself.
Penelope felt her skin heat as she leaned into his touch, a little nod of her head.
“I can’t undo my gown.”
Swallowing, Colin nodded as he gently touched her by the shoulders and turned her towards the vanity, her back to him. Gingerly he began unhooking the back of her gown, allowing his fingers to skim over her exposed skin at the nape of her neck. Penelope held her breath, unsure where this was going, but she felt that maybe, just maybe…
“You’re so beautiful Pen, you’re skin…”
“Colin…”
Brushing her hair over her shoulder, Colin leaned in, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck and then to the side. His hands pushed at her gown, letting it drop to the floor. Lips against her neck, his hands came to rest on her hips.
“Can I touch you?”
“Please, yes…”
Hands moving up her body, she could feel the warm radiating through the fabric of her corset. Pressing his lips to her neck once more, his hands cupped her breasts, squeezing firming.
“Not touching you for so long has been agony.”
Unable to verbalise a response, Penelope pushed her chest out, letting his hands get a better fill of her. His lips moved over her skin, from her neck to her cheeks, biting lightly on her earlobe as he pulled away slightly. Penelope mewled at the loss of contact, but then he was behind her once more, a sense of urgency now overtaking him as he pulled at the laces of her corset. He fumbled slightly as he began getting it off but stopped when he saw it being to gape at her chest. Turning her to him, he pulled her to himself, pressing his lips to hers in a fevered kiss. Penelope wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into herself, pressing her breasts against his chest. She needed to get closer to him, she needed to feel his bare skin against hers once more. Backing her up towards the bed, Colin broke the kiss, panting against her lips.
“May I sleep here? With you?”
“Yes.” She whispered as she stood on her toes, trying to find his lips again.
“Pen…”
“Colin please. Finish undressing me. Please.”
Nodding again, his fumbled touch was back as he reached around her and undid the remainder of her corset. It fell to the ground and this time Penelope didn’t try to hold it to herself. She wanted this, she needed this. For weeks, she had replayed their first time in her mind over and over again. It played on her mind with such vivid detail that she could still feel his touch on her skin, his lips on her mouth, the press of his hard length inside her…
Colin marvelled at the sight of his naked wife in his arms, his eyes taking in everything from her vibrant red hair to her glistening blue eyes to her rouged lips, her pebbled nipples… He hadn’t given them nearly enough attention the last time they lay together. He was going to rectify that, if she allowed him the honour to lay with him again.
“Colin…” Her voice came out hoarse as she cupped his cheek. “Do you wish to… I mean…”
She fell silent, unable to verbalise her thoughts. She wanted this, him. She wanted to experience that pleasure with him again, she needed it, craved it. Looking down at her flushed cheeks, Colin cupped her face.
“What do you want Pen?”
“You.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want all of you, everything you can give me.”
“Tell me exactly what you want from me. You wanted me to tell you what to do, so I’m telling you Pen, tell me what you want from me.”
“I want you to make love to me again.” Her voice was so quiet, so low. “I want you to touch me like you did in the carriage, like you did on the settee. I want to feel that pleasure again.”
“Are you sure Pen? I…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I know my behaviour towards you since…”
“We said at the ball that it was behind us. Please let us put it behind us. I’ve slept in our marital bed on my own for weeks now, I don’t want to any longer.”
With an eager nod, Colin’s hands were on her hips as he pressed her down onto the bed and then lay her back. He moved over her, but then pulled back again and got off the bed. Penelope looked up at him with confused eyes, but her confusion was quickly pushed away as she watched him hastily rip off his shirt, followed by his breeches. She swallowed hard, the way she had done the first time she’d seen his length standing tall and hard. She pressed her thighs together, trying to dull the ache that always presented herself whenever she thought about their intimacy. Moving back to the bed, he moved back over her, pushing her thighs apart as he settled between her legs, his lips finding hers in yet another scorching kiss. He rubbed himself against her, and Penelope did everything she could to try to suppress her moan, but it was no use, she moaned into his mouth as she wrapped a leg around his waist, opening herself up to him.
“You’re eager aren’t you?”
“For you.”
Hand trailing down her body, he caressed her thighs as he held her hard against the bed, his lips finding her once more. His fingers plunged into her and he touched her the way he now knew she really liked. She broke her lips away from his, her head tipping back as she let out an almighty moan, her hand tightening on his shoulder.
“You like that?”
“Yes!”
He started slow, rubbing, circling, feeling the way her body reacted to his touch and then he built up the speed, the way he knew she liked it. Covering her mouth with his own, he swallowed each of her gasps and moans, her cries of pleasure as her hips moved in time with her fingers.
“Yes Colin, yes…”
He trailed kisses from her lips to her cheeks, down her throat as he carried on working her up. He kept his eyes on her, revelling in the way she kept her eyes shut as she rode his fingers. His lips trailed down her neck to her chest and then to her left breast. Under his touch, he felt her tighten up with nerves as her eyes opened and her head lifted from her pillow.
“Colin…”
“Sh, let me make you feel good Pen. Let me give you everything tonight.”
With a nervous nod, she lay back as his fingers began moving slowly again, his lips on her breast as he worked his way around the plump flesh. God, he had seen breasts, but nothing compared to Penelope. How had he been around this woman for so many years but fail to notice her? How had he never realised that she was the picture of feminine perfection? That the women he met in Paris had nothing on the women who was lying beneath him right now, panting and crying his name as he worked her up into a frenzy. He had written that there was nothing comparable of the Parisian women and Penelope had read that, but he had been sorely mistaken. This, being with her, was better than anything else in the world.
Pressing a hard kiss to her breast, he finally latched his lips around her taut nipple as his thumb pressed down onto her clit. Colin felt her body jolt as though it hit a live wire. She was close, oh so close he could tell. Switching his attention to her other breast, he gave it the same treatment, licking and sucking at her nipple as his hand worked relentlessly between her legs. Penelope struggled to keep quiet and bit down on her lip in an attempt to stifle herself. But it was no use, the pleasure she was feeling was unlike anything she’d felt with Colin up until now and she couldn’t hold back the sounds that were leaving her. She could feel the pressure grow and grow within her, and just when she felt like she was going to snap, he pulled his fingers away. Her eyes shot open and she let out a mewl of protest.
“Colin…”
He looked up at her, a smug grin on his face.
“Please don’t stop.”
“I’m not.” He replied simply.
Before Penelope could question him though, he began sliding further down her body, pressing kisses to her chest, her stomach, her hips, her thighs… and then finally, he pressed a kiss there, causing her to jolt up, her eyes widening.
“Colin!”
Using his hand, he pressed her back down onto the bed as he whispered for her to trust him. She nodded as she lay back, her eyes on him as he started pressing kisses on her body again, his fingers parting her, opening her up. He gave her a tentative lick, keeping his eyes on her. When he saw her eyes flutter shut, her head tipping back against the pillow, he went for it again and again and again, working her up into a frenzy. Penelope clutched at Colin’s hair and she felt the way her hips moved almost involuntarily, slowly at first but then more frantically as his touch became more and more frantic. When he slid a finger back into her, Penelope was certain she had died and gone to heaven because it was not possible to feel such pleasure. It couldn’t be real. Working her up, he could feel her impending orgasm and all it took was a deep suck of her clit to push her over the edge, causing her to come with an almighty cry.
Slowly, Colin worked her down from her high and then crawled back up the bed, pulling her into his arms as he tucked his face into her neck.
“Colin, that was…”
“Did you like it?”
“Very much so.”
“Good, because I did too.”
“You did?”
“A lot, Pen. I enjoy bringing you pleasure, watching you experience these feelings and knowing I do this to you.”
Cuddling into him, Penelope looked up at him.
“Do people do this, what you just did. Use their mouth on another in such an intimate manner?”
“They do, it’s very common practise within the bedroom.”
Penelope gave him a little nod, but turned her face away from him ever so slightly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing I just… It’s nothing.”
Gently touching her chin, he turned her face back to him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Have you… I know you’re experienced, I just…” Penelope stopped, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter, it’s not my business what you did before.”
“If there’s something, you can always ask Pen. I won’t hide anything from you.”
“It doesn’t matter, I don’t think I want to know anyway.”
In that moment, it became clear to Colin what she was trying to say, what was going through her mind. Wrapping his arm more tightly around her, he pulled her further into himself, her bare breasts pressing against his chest as he ran a finger down her cheek.
“I have never used my mouth on another woman, not the way I just did with you. During my time away, I admit, I lay with many women, but it became clear to me very early on that I did not find the same gratification my peers did. I felt empty, lonely. And I knew that one day I would marry. And I wanted to save certain intimacies for my wife.”
Cheeks flushing, Penelope looked up at her husband, his denim blue eyes boring into hers.
“You felt lonely?”
“Very.”
“I’m sorry you felt that way.”
“You have nothing to apologise for my love.”
“I do, I added to your loneliness by not writing back to you.”
Colin shook his head at this.
“I hurt you, you were within reason to not write back. And truthfully, the more I think about it, the more I realise I don’t know why I said it. Given, I had never thought of you that way but…”
“Colin, it’s okay.”
He shook his head again as he pulled the blankets up, wrapping them around their naked bodies.
“I knew you cared for me, and I you. You were, you are, my dearest friend. It makes perfect sense why I should have courted you sooner. But maybe being around people who didn’t understand me, who didn’t want to understand me, made me realise how special you are because you do understand me.”
Penelope gave him soft smile.
“But I also think I said that because I knew those men wouldn’t understand my feelings for you. They would never understand why you are far more desirable than any other woman in the ton, why I would much rather spend time with you than with anyone else.”
Unsure how to react to this, Penelope tucked herself under Colin’s chin, pressing kisses to his chest, her hand brushing along his body. They stayed like that for a while, their hands caressing each other, simply breathing each other in. As Penelope’s hand descended lower and lower, she felt her insides stir alive once more. As her hand brushed over Colin’s hard length, she watched as his eyes shut as she took hold of him. She gave his length a gentle tug and then a harder one. The sound that left him urged her to do it again, and so she did. He rocked into her hand as she kept going, her confidence growing with each stroke of her hand.
“Oh god, that feels so good Pen.”
Feeling her confidence grow, she used her free hand to push him by the shoulders, laying him on his back as she moved over him. Her lips found his in a deep kiss as she worked him up, her touch firmer than it was before. Breaking her lips away from his, she trailed kisses down his face, his chest, his stomach… It was at this point Colin caught hold of her and brought her back up to his face.
“I’d like to use my mouth on you.” She whispered, but gone was the shy Penelope from before.
This was a woman who was growing confident in her sexuality and Colin felt himself stiffen further almost painfully at the realisation that his wife was far more of a firecracker than he had previously thought.
“Not tonight Pen. I’ve never… I’ve never let anyone use their mouth on me, and if you do. I won’t last.”
She swallowed hard at his words. He’d never let anyone use their mouth on him. This was another one of the intimacies he’d held out on for marriage. Nodding, she brought her hands back to his face, kissing him deeply, her body rubbing against his. She could feel the delicious friction of him against her and she wanted him the way she’d only had him once before. Breaking the kiss, she looked down at him, her fingers tangling with his chest hairs.
“I wish to be intimate with you.” She murmured against his skin. “We are yet to consummate our marriage. Yet to have our wedding night.”
In one swift motion, Colin had Penelope on her back again under him. Grabbing hold of her thigh, he pulled it over his own, letting himself rest in the cradle of her thighs.
“I cannot begin to tell you how guilty I feel for not coming to you on our wedding night.”
Cupping his jaw, Penelope shook her head.
“I was upset at the time, but I understand why you didn’t. I know you didn’t come to me because you were still confused about how you felt about me and my truth. I… I think you didn’t want to come to me if you were unsure you were still going to be able to stay with me.”
“It was exactly that. I didn’t want to be intimate with you and give you hope only to then retreat again when we were faced with something related to Whistledown again. I didn’t want to give you physical intimacy when I was still unsure I could offer it emotionally.”
“I know that now.”
“But I’m ready to give you both now, if you still want it from me.”
Her thighs fell apart slightly under him and she ran her hand from his cheek into his hair.
“Please Colin, I don’t wish to wait any longer.”
With a renewed fervour, Colin lowered himself over Penelope, allowing the entire length of his body to press against hers and his lips found hers in a searing kiss. Pulling her leg back up around his waist, he rocked himself against her, letting her feel how hard he was for her. Penelope gasped as she sunk her fingers into his hair, biting down on his lip to stifle any further sounds from leaving her. Pushing his fingers inside her once more, Colin ensured that she was ready for him, working her up and then swiftly replacing his fingers with his cock.
Moaning, Penelope arched up, her eyes wide as they met his. His thrusts started slow and shallow, her meeting his every stroke with a roll of her hips. Keeping her eyes locked on his, she urged him to keep going, her leg around him, trying to pull him in deeper. He moved a little faster, thrusting deeper, causing her to shut her eyes in pleasure.
“Oh yes, just like that.”
He picked up the pace further, bringing them to the pace he had set their first time together. He felt the way Penelope’s body fluttered around him, the way her intimate muscles clenched him.
“More Colin, please.” She moaned.
Holding onto the headboard above them, Colin readjusted them slightly, lifting Penelope’s hips as he shoved a pillow under her, changing the angle. He moved faster, going as deep as he could, hitting that spot deep inside her over and over again. Penelope cried out the first time he hit that spot and as he kept hitting it, her cries grew louder and louder, tears of pleasure streaming down her face as she urged him to keep going. Colin did his best to hold off his release, but when Penelope’s muscles began spasming around him, he struggled with his control and unloaded deep inside her, fucking her through her orgasm and then collapsing onto the bed beside her, his arm draped around her waist.
“Good god.” He finally said as he caught his breath and looked up.
Blushing, Penelope turned onto her side and took Colin’s hands into her own.
“Our marriage is well and truly consummated.”
“Best wedding night ever.” Colin confirmed.
“Can we go again?” Penelope asked, causing them both to break out laughing as he pulled her back into his chest.
“Absolutely. We have lost time to make up for.”
Penelope smiled to herself as her husband began pressing kisses to her skin once more. This was shaping up to be a better wedding night than she could have ever anticipated.