Work Text:
Meddling in human affairs is so odd, why would a king of faeries decide to meddle? There is the possibility that he wanted simply to steal the changing ships from Titania. Just, why didn’t they just attempt to fix things instead of sending me to meddle. I enjoyed the trouble and mischief I spread but to make them believe it just a dream seems like wiping my work clean. So I sit on the long spindling branches of a moss covered tree, avoiding looking at the shadow king. Especially as night has fallen and I decided not to stand right at his side, the tugging feeling in my chest.
Titania will be near sleep I’d presume, changeling child wrapped in vines from where she sleeps. I nearly fall out the tree as I feel the tug of the shadow kings summons. I broke twigs as I stopped myself falling onto the forest floor, then giggling is heard as one couple of Athens enters the clearing. I watch as they kiss, Demetrius and Helena. Not Lysander and Hermia. The couple, the newly weds. I am falling to the forest floor before I can steady myself. They stop their advances as they look my way but continue. I stand as i wave my hands they both stop, controlled by my actions as I lay them down on the moss. No mischief tonight, I leave them to wake when I’m long gone. I just fall onto the layer of moss around a group of trees, keying my head against the roots as I curl into a loose position.
I feel no more tugging at my being as I play with the shadows in the light of the moon. Until a new shadow blocks the moon, Oberon. He doesn’t look pleased as I turn onto my other side, I have no wish to be used as a puppet for something I don’t understand once more. “Dear Puck, why do you avoid my summons? Or even looking at me, you know the punishments I deal out,” he states the thorns on his head seeming oddly like what the humans have attempted to recreate the look of in many paintings or stories. Probably sourced from having seen the king of the fairies at some point.
“I do not wish to be of service. Midsummer night has left me feeling not myself, my lord,” I say as I stay curled into the roots, Oberon doesn’t respond but I do feel the shadows toy with my hair.
“Tell me dear Puck, how do you feel?” He speaks as though he cares. As though my actions could truly cause any impact. I am but a servent to him and to the mischief in my very being.
“Like I have no mischief to cause, first I can remember. I am only… empty, my lord,” I keep myself facing the other way, the shadows still play as now they tickle at my ear and I move away from the feeling. I then see the pinched expression of my king. He wanted to make me laugh, I can see it. He doesn’t have much for something like that, he is far too stern. His shadows recede as I can hear the giggling of those humans echo through the forest. I stand as i hiss to myself, “why make me help such things. They’d be better off fighting, instead of deliriously rutting against each other in the woods of all places,” I mutter as I walk away from my lord, he pulls me back though with the pull he has on my being. I glare at him, my eyes probably like coal embers. “Why help such things? It was more pleasant watching them chase after each other like deluded animals,” I sharply say in his face before recoiling at what I spoke. I just questioned him and there are other faeries nearby.
“You question me, Puck?” He says this as i try to leave but he tugs me back as I fall to the ground. He looks down at me as I sit, unmoved as he stares. A few whispering fairies announce we aren’t truly alone. “You are but a jester,” Oberon says as I sink, he has never called me only a jester since we became closer years before. He isn’t holding onto me as I disappear into the shadows, furious and lost on why I still feel so wrong. So I stir up some trouble. Tripping Athenians that are simply enjoying a walk. Making them lose each other, nothing helps though as I snarl. Prowling for a way to make this feeling end, and then I find the Duke. Fast asleep on a blanket with his dear Hippolyta.
“Why must thy days be so full of happiness when I… when I?” I giggle to myself as I stalk over their sleeping forms, even if they awoke I’d never care. Though I may not hide my form due to such weakness as I am facing. I crouch over their bodies looking at how they sleep, “almost a replica of the king and queen of fairies. I wonder…” I scrape my sharp nailed hands over the dukes face. Almost uncanny how they are similar. I look over this mortal man’s face as eyes open, he stares but says not a word. He looks with horror as I scream in his face, he pales and falls back to sleep. I move my head as I look at this Duke, a gentle touch of my knuckles as I recoil from it. Standing quickly as I look at my hand, “I believe such flowers have effected me so.”
I walk away from the other set of newly weds. How there are three is but a shock that us fairies meddled. What was once one couple to be married became three, why my lord asked if such a thing is beyond my understanding. I am dragged into the shadows as I know it’s but the king. “What mischief have you caused?” He says sharply as i look back at the duke and his wife.
“Simply tripped and messed with walkers and travellers. A few are wandering lost,”
“And the duke and his wife?” He asks as I look away, I have no answer for that as I barely understand myself.
“I simply gazed at them and scared one back to sleep,” I don’t confess how I had traced my sharp clawed fingers over the dukes face in wonder. Or how I had gently touched his cheek with a knuckle instead of claws.
“Is that all?” He asks as though he watched, I step to the side as I watch the shadows and the woods beyond.
“My spell work appears to have tainted me so. I was gentle,” I sneer the word as my king gazes at me, a knowing look as he smiles.
“Or perhaps you’ve been caught in the web of mortal love. How different it be from how faeries feel,“ he says this as I leave the shadows, he follows as we’re step for step. “Though your eyes be glaze as a humans may while drinking the night away,” his eyes sparkle with mischief as he grins, a wicked sort that’s usually reserved towards one he wishes me to play a trick on. Now it’s directed at me. I don’t like the look one bit as he waves a hand over me, I’m frozen as he circles me. Casting nature away from my form, branches, moss and everything. He takes my hands in his as my sixth finger on both hands disappear in front of me. What is he doing? “To live as a human with no memory of your past. It’ll be interesting, you’d agree if you could speak,” my eyes are wide in shock at his plan. He takes my long curled hair in his hand as I watch the moss be stripped from it. Showing the light brown curls beneath. He then closes my eyes as he allows me to look at him again, his eyebrows furrow. “That colour doesn’t look right,” he says as he drags his thumb over my eyelids and watched as I blinked at him confused, “that is better. Now Puck, you won’t remember me or faeries. You’re but a human, when you wake,” I stare desperately at him, hoping my eyes can speak for me.
“You may even prefer being a human and never return to the forest as others have,” Oberon speaks as I plead with my eyes. I don’t want to forget the past centuries, I have loved every moment. But sleep finds me as I look at my King, hoping for him to see but he doesn’t. So I sleep.
——
I wake up to something nudging at me, I grumble as I try and move away from the thing. Hoping to be left alone. “Miss, are you alright? You shouldn’t sleep alone in these woods. Mischief is always afoot,” I hear a man’s voice as I turn and look at him, his eyes going huge as he looks at me, “oh, apologies sir. You looked like a girl with your hair and smaller build,” I sit up as I look at the man, I cover my eyes as I try to recall something. Anything. It feels as though everything is gone. “Are you alright?” He asks as I uncover my eyes and look at the man, his eyes going wider.
“I don’t know where I am,” I admit, my head is pounding and I can’t seem to get my eyes to focus. The light is so bright it blinds me as I sit there.
“You’re in Athens, perhaps I should take you to the Duke. He is quite hospitable, or another noble house perhaps. You don’t look common after all,” the man says as I squint at my clothes, they indeed aren’t like the man’s. “I’m Latis by the way,” he speaks as I can hear a sing song voice ‘don’t speak a name to a fairy or they have rule over you for all your days’ I look at the man who just smiles as he offers me a hand up. I take it as I stand. He looks at me as though I’m a rarity, “you’re definitely not common, you’re far too clean,” he says as I look at myself again. I don’t understand this man.
“I don’t know my name, Latis,” I speak as he just waves his hand.
“Even if you did wouldn’t expect you to say it in these woods. Everyone believes faeries live here, names are powerful. Which is why I only told you the name of my village,” he smiles as I nod, it’s understandable. Especially if the gleeful whispering in my head is anything to go by.
“Call me Moss then, since you found me on a bed of moss,” I smile a little as he laughs, he leads me through the forest as I have this feeling I’m being watched. No sounds accompany the feeling though. When I leave the forest I feel like returning, the dirt roads worn down with time. Latis shows me the way until a few others leave the forest.
Latis bows at these people as I stand still, not understanding why he bows. “It’s the duke,” he speaks but I do not bow, I dip my head in acknowledgement but that’s all. “Duke I found this man asleep on moss alone, he doesn’t appear to remember anything. Not his name or where he’s from,” Latis speaks as the lady approaches and cups my face in her hands.
“He is but a boy, my husband. Not even a stubble begins on his fair face,” I stare at her with wide surprised eyes, a churning feeling in my gut not liking being called a boy. I believe I must not be one. “We should take him home, he is but a poor thing,” she speaks as though coddling a child as I watch her stare at her husband, they care for each other but I have no idea how deeply they may care.
“My wife wishes to bring the boy home?” The duke speaks as she lets go of my face gently and turns to him, a firm nod as the duke looks at me. “I don’t believe him just a boy. He looks young but he doesn’t like a child,” his face looks at me as she pats my cheek.
“He is fair though, almost as described of fairfolk,” she speaks as i look to the others. I haven’t heard the term fairfolk that I can remember.
The duke comments then as a way of explaining his wife’s words, “Faeries, she’s complimenting how young you look for not being a child” I look between them all as I start feeling as though the world is shifting under my feet. I want to run back to the forest, I don’t like it out here. I feel so exposed.
“Thank you… my lady?” I say as she laughs, they’re walking ahead as Latis isn’t with us. He is walking the opposite direction.
“I would speak my name but my husband is oddly superstitious around the thought of faeries. So we’ll speak of names later,” she says as her husband is carrying a basket. A blanket tucked under his arm as he walks.
“Would you like some help, duke?” I ask as he looks to consider it and hands me the basket, it clatters with empty bottles as I walk alongside these people. “I don’t have a name to speak either way, I settled on the name Moss to deter the faeries as you say,” I state this as the lady looks at me and smiles.
“That name suits you dear Moss, how did you come about choosing it?” She asks as I look back at the forest, it’s almost as if it whispers for me to return.
I fiddle with the wooden handle of the basket as I look ahead, a small town ever closer. It’s so close to the forest yet so separate, “I was sleeping on a bed of moss, my lady,” I watch as the two laugh at my words. It fills me with such joy as though I have been uplifted by causing laughter.
——
I stay with the duke and his wife; Theseus and Hippolyta. It’s been months, I’ve caused more mischief than I suppose would be deemed acceptable. I’m never caught but I still am not a fan of the day, it’s too bright and blinding. Now though I can feel the call of the forest. Only one problem. Girls won’t stop following me, I don’t understand why they follow so vigorously. I have caused them to trip, get their hair caught or a number of other tricks. Helena and Hermia along with their husbands often look at me as though they know me.
But now. How to get people to stop following me? I reenter the dukes estate as he is having tea with Hippolyta, “Moss, why return so early?” Hippolyta asks as I’m catching my breath, no one would dare follow.
“The girls won’t stop following me, so I’m to find another way to leave,” I state as I climb into the window, dangling my legs as I jump to the tree that hangs close to the window. I swing my legs up to hold the branch as I pull myself up, Theseus and Hippolyta laugh at my antics as I begin my travels among the trees.
I get deep enough into the forest that I swing down and land on my feet, I can feel the call of the forest as my feet hit the ground. The relief of early evening casting shadows. It’s so peaceful. I trail my fingers and hands over the bark of trees as I walk, breathing steadily as I do. It feels like somewhere I should be, what I suppose people would describe as home. “A mortal wanders,” a voice speaks as I look to the source, a girl that seemed like she was part of a tree. “Would you like some fruit?” She asks as I look at the bejewelled fruit, far too bright. I smile with all teeth as I approach the girl, “well mortal?” She asks as I take a grape from the vine and examine it.
“I’m not hungry at the moment,” I state as she hums to herself, reaching out her hand now.
“What about your name? Mortals will shout it to find you, it’ll help me point them in the right direction,” she speaks, her teeth sharp as I look away from her.
“I have no name, but you must?” I ask as she giggles, her teeth gleaming as I stare at her. The fact I have met a faerie is interesting, she spouts questions children have been warned of in the streets. “Tree sprite,” I say this as she looks at me with wonder.
“What harm is there? I’m eldry,” she giggles but a round of whispers silences her, “you should leave mortal child. Night approaches,” I watch as she disappears, I don’t intend on leaving anytime soon. I can hear the dark whispers as I walk, I don’t know where I’m going but I let my feet lead me.
I come to a clearing as I look up at the moon, I reach my hand out to it as I feel an odd sadness at seeing it. I clutch the fabric of my tunic over my chest, my heart beating fast as I gaze at the silver body. “You should have heeded the tree sprites warning,” a male voice speaks as I shiver, I turn to look at the man. Thorns line his head like a crown, I reach out and touch the thorns. He looks as though he has seen something he didn’t intend to see. I gaze at this ethereal being, he holds my wrist to stop me as I look.
“Why heed something that so willingly gave me her name? You’re no different from the humans, telling dangerous information to someone you may think innocent. What a mistake.” I say these words but he still holds my wrist.
“What a mistake, those that seem innocent are so often dangers,” he tightens his hold on my wrist as I look over his features, I know him. His smell. His presence. His power. I know him. I gaze at him as I move closer, staring so intently at his features. “You get so close to a king?” He questions as I can feel it.
“I know you,” my free hand cups his cheek, “I don’t know how but I know you, that even the whispers earlier were you,” I can feel my grin widen as I laugh at this man’s expression. But then he is stood before me with no contact.
“You know me from the shadows dancing in your vision. You know part of me,” the man speaks as a name rings in my head. Oberon. It is not my name but the man before me, I look at him with such mischief as I allow my body to do what it deems right. So I place a small kiss on the corner of the faery’s mouth. He looks at me shocked, I can feel it skirting over my skin as I settle on my feet. I laugh as I run into the woods, climbing trees as I leave. I feel as though I’m thrumming with energy as I make it back to the Dukes estate. He finds me as I enter through the window.
“Home safe, I see. Careful to not wake anyone, he says as he pokes at my arm, making me flinch from the scrapes on my skin, bleeding but not enough to worry. “You should get yourself looked at. There’s more red than fair skin,” he speaks this before leaving. I sit on the window. Staring at the blood he speaks of, it certainly has covered me. Simple scrapes. It confuses me as I look at the blood. I dislike how weak this makes me feel. How I have splinters, cuts all over my body that don’t belong. I hug my knees to my chest as I watch the athenians running into the woods at separate areas. They could go so deep in the woods but they’d never spot each other. I tap the branch that hangs close to the window, a sinking sadness seeps into my bones.
Footsteps approach as I hear a shallow gasp, “dear child. How do you come back covered in blood? You look as though a warrior leaving a battlefield,” it’s a man who approaches me, thin cloth hung over his shoulder while carrying a basin of salt water which stings my nose. I lean my head back as he places the basin down and starts to clean the blood from my body. I flinch away from his touch, not because it hurts but because it feels wrong. “So what did you do, child?” He asks as I glare at him quite ferociously, I move my torso closer to him as I grin.
“I was running from the faeries, who wanted my name and wished me to eat their fruit. Just as a child may say,” the man laughs as though I joke, my lips going thin as I’m not amused, “I’m not a child, doctor. What I saw was true, as the scrapes prove they tried to drag me back” I say this as he bellows a large laugh, I lean the back of my head on the stone window. He does not stop laughing as he finishes cleaning the cuts. Then he wraps the fresh clothsover my arms and legs as I just sit there. Staring at this man. I want to make his night a living nightmare. So as he leaves I follow from the shadows, light on my feet as I follow. Then I hit an invisible wall and glare at the empty space. I walk around where it was to follow the man and I actually manage, I follow the man off the estate. I feel eyes on me though as I follow this man. I watch as he enters a home and I climb up the wall to a deserted room. Cracking the window open as I enter. I hide his belongings, I turn his bed upside down. I move everything out of place as I smile to myself, I don’t know why I must do this but it feels right. Then I hear the footsteps coming up the stairs as I roll under the bed, I lie in wait as he enters the room. I stay there perfectly still until I hear the snores, I roll back out as I look at the sleeping figure, “a child? Well I have enough mischief to be worse than one,” I whisper this over his form as he tosses and turns. I leave the room with gentle footsteps as I find another window and leave.
I hop down the wall as I stick to the shadows, I leave back to the estate but I don’t go inside. I sit under the tree as I touch its bark, relishing in the bite of pain as I press my hand firmer against it. But then my hand is caught and I look to see the man before in the woods sat opposite me, “I am surprised you haven’t experienced love when that is why I sent you here. Maybe it’s time you remember and make a choice,” he speaks these cryptic words as he puts his palm on my forehead. Memories spiral back as I stare wide eyed. He moves his hand away as I cover my ears, I was never one for words.
I then remember everything as I stumble away from my king, I wipe my mouth. I had left a kiss on the corner of his mouth as though a normal thing to do. “Did that amuse you my lord?” I say with a sneer as I stand and look at the estate, “will you like me to die next?” I ask with a bow, waving my hands on either side for dramatic emphasis. He looks truly stunned. I can hear the small giggles of sprites as I glare at the forest, it shuts them up. How the sky darkens with roaring clouds, thunder crashes and lightening lights up the sky how it shows another side of my king. He looks almost pitiful in this moment, I look at the scrapes on my far too human body. “It can be arranged,” I say this as I take out a silver knife, pressing it against my throat as he doesn’t use magic. It’s as though he has forgotten the power under his very skin.
He approaches as he holds out his hands, the motions of a beggar not a king. I press the knife further against my throat, “dear Puck, I meant no offense. Take the silver from your neck,” he speaks so gently as I dig it further, blood trickling down my throat as he actually falls to his knees in front of me, “I’d never wish you harm, please hand me the silver,” he says this as I gaze at his wide pleading eyes. I look at him with such confusion, I can hear the estate coming to life as I gaze at the building.
Keeping the knife dangerously close to the thin line of life and death, “why? I’m but a jester,” I ask this as he stays on his knees, I can definitely hear the gasping and appalled sounds from the faeries as I feel my breath catch. “Why make me human..?”
He stands as he holds my wrist in a firm grip, “have you learned nothing? Why may you have done such actions without meaning behind them?” He says this as I feel my body stiffen, I’m lost on what to think. Is he speaking of my actions towards him, “your affections,” he says this as I drop the knife. My heart is pounding furiously in my ears as my breath quickens.
“I had not the right mind. I be but human, I’ve seen how humans flock to faeries. Those feelings be but an illusion,” I say this as I hear the calls of those in the estate I look up to see the lanterns lit.
“Moss? Your words ring loud, may you sleep now?” Hippolyta says as my cheeks flush, I look at my king as I go to move but I’m frozen.
“It’s time you return dear Puck, unless you wish to stay human? At the mercy of silver and human emotions,” I close my eyes at the words, happy to stay still as I feel the way the forest returns to me. I feel nothing as vulnerable as the past few months. He releases me as I fall to the grass, smiling giddy as I spread my hands over it. I lean my ear to the ground as I laugh to myself, I’m home.
“I don’t need love, as long as I’m home. Your jester and adviser still, I wish nothing more,” I say as I roll onto my back. Looking at the starry sky as my king stands over me, peering at me as though I be a sprite.
He kneels and moves my hair from my face, “that spot will forever be yours, even if death may find you. You may not be replaced from my side.” I sit up as I grin, the sound of the forest beckons me forward. “Titania will be ever pleased to see you well, she has been concerned of your whereabouts,” as he speaks he walks ahead. I follow next to him but still a step behind, my body is still alight with the energy I felt from my actions earlier. We walk as I leave nuts and berries for animals, I hear a squirrel squeal with joy as I leave a nut just outside of its home.
We walk until we spot the queen’s court. They all seem surprised to see me here as I look down on the changeling child that one of her fay holds. “Your people are quite something. Be glad you’ll never experience such treachery. They’d chase you down the streets for beauty they perceive,” I speak to the child as he giggles, taking a hold of a lock of my hair. The fay seems unsure of the interaction but then the changeling is put into my arms. The boy gazes up at me as he holds my hair, he makes little noises as I walk with him. “You have much luck that I could not compare. As you are always surrounded by people, the queen and king of faerie may fight but they’d allow no harm to befall you,” the boy touches my cheek as I all but nuzzle the babies face as he laughs so much he gasps laughter. “I’d not allow harm on you as is my honour,” I whisper to him as he holds my hair still, babbling at me. I look up to find the court almost flabbergasted, Oberon the only one who looks as usual.
“I never knew Puck had a gentle side,” one speaks as I tickle the changeling as he squirms.
“That’s because you don’t warrant me to show you. I may be a trickster but I am not cruel or sadistic,” I sneer as the baby gasps, tugging my hair as I untangle his small little fingers. “Careful, take my hair and you’ll be granted years of bad fortune,” he just giggles at my words as I hear Titania stir, her eyes on me sooner than I’d expect.
“Why have you my changeling boy?” She asks as I stick my tongue out at the little boy who erupts into more laughter. I see as her expression changes, “he laughs…” she says as she gets up, I can feel her come close to watch me as the boy looks at her.
“He is a jester, my queen. It’s what he does,” the king speaks as I look at him, they’re on either side of me as the little boy looks all around. I can feel his overwhelm as I step back, I dance with the boy in my arms as he smiles. I make silly faces and he erupts further into laughter.
“Your parents can crowd sometimes, but wait until the entirety of faerie meets you. You’ll meet so many people, if you need a good laugh you’ll learn where to find me,” I speak to the boy as he grabs more of my hair, “I promise on my name,” the whispered words are a contract that only one other person can feel the tug of. I can see as he actually jolts a bit, his Queen looking to him with silent concern.
“I believe Puck just swore to protect your changeling boy,” Oberon speaks to Titania as I watch her look at me with such surprise. “The child is far safer now than anyone will ever guess,” he isn’t looking at his Queen but me as I look at the baby in my arms.
I can feel as the Queen approaches me, “why little trickster? You already tie yourself to duty for your king,” she says this as I grin, what humans would think a crazed smile as I move closer to her. Moving my head to the side as I hear the boy laugh.
“As it is part of my duty. My king views the child as precious and as his advisor I promised on my name,” I look at the child as he still has a firm hold of my hair, “this will keep the balance. No more of nature being upturned, I bind myself for a semblance of peace. A child that I will out live and feel every ounce of pain from, so as to stop such things as midsummers night repeating,” I speak more to the child than anyone else, he holds my hair as I can see the moon over us. The faeries seem stunned silent as I look at him, the precious child. “He be blessed,” I whisper as he still holds my hair, my smile has dropped as I look at him. I know I love and this be but a distraction away from those emotions. I look up at my Queen as she has tears in her eyes, “he will be surrounded by such beauty but have none of the downfalls. He can wander and have fickle emotions that we may never truly understand,” I pass the child to the queen as tears roll down her face, small beads of dew drops that will coat the woods by morning. I am tugged though by his hold still on my hair as those here giggle, the queen even lets out a laugh as I untangle my hair from the boys hand. I stand then as I comb my fingers through my hair.
The queen places a hand on my cheek to make me look at her, “you’re ever a benevolent Puck. Even with such mischief you are truly good, why stay my husbands advisor? The seelie court would benefit,” she speaks as I take her hand and place it on the child, he giggles and grabs her thin fingers.
“The seelie court be too bright for one like me,” this gains laughter from her but my Lord looks tense, “I am but a Puck. I’d cause such havoc you’d send me back within a day. My place is in the unseelie court, if my king still wishes. As he holds my name,” I say to the queen as I feel my lords presence, the queen knows of Oberon holding my name and how he keeps it for himself. I feel the gentle tug as I take a step back, I watch as he looks at his queen. Then at the changeling boy who is looking at him with such curiosity.
“He be my adviser and jester. My Queen would be best to remember her place,” he speaks as the boy cries, I whisk him away from the Queen and king. The danger. My king looks at me as does the queen as I feel my body relax, “he will be permitted to enter your court when the child needs as otherwise I’ll have an unwell Puck. We agree?” He says this as his words are far more gentle, I feel completely relaxed as the boy falls asleep in my arms. I tied myself to this creature to avoid admitting my own emotions but the way my king spoke softer after I had to whisk the child away warms my heart. It’s as though a fire burns in my chest. I don’t hear any further words but I can feel the first rays of dawn. I place the child in the arms of the queen as my king walks beside me and pushes me by the small of my back.
“That child will bring you great pain,” he speaks as I look at him as his hand is gone.
“As long as I can view the results in how nature thrives, I’ll be happy. Even if I shall experience his death and every emotion he feels in a fleeting moment. It’s better I than another, I’ve experienced such things the past few months and their emotions are but embers,” I speak long and unprovoked, to truly speak so much as is my nature to speak through actions. It’s an unexpected phenomenon.
“Embers?” He seems quite surprised by my words as we walk through shadows.
“Ours are blazing bonfires when so strong. The strongest they feel is a campfire. Not even a hearth, our emotions are so much more,” I say as I look back to the child as we leave, “though when he dies I have no idea for the pain I’m to feel,” we are in that of the unseelie court now as I look at the eternal darkness.
“It’ll feel as though your being is ripped in half,” everyone knows of his human lovers, how before his queen he took a human lover who was practically our queen. No one speaks of it truly. How the harsh and stern king took a human to the unseelie court, how he never gazed at his wife with such emotions. They are married under a necessary condition of balance, they have affairs but not as many as I remember whispers of before I became the kings adviser.
——
I was there for every function the changeling boy went to, my king there as he was needed to be. I seemed but there in my capacity of adviser. The child must be eight years of age now, I am speaking and laughing with the king as the boy is introduced to so many faeries.
The kitchen staff of the seelie court baffled by how their dishes have been meddled with but my king knows. Especially as snakes slither down trees instead of vines, scaring a couple faeries but cause small laughter from the boy and those around us. I eat grapes as I speak with my king, the queen joining us as she hangs off my kings arm.
They’re such ethereal beings, but I suddenly feel a jolt of cold through my body. I shiver unnaturally as i look into the crowd, I find the boy by the smallest tether of fear I felt from him. It was so quick and sharp. I pick up the child as the faerie glaring down at the boy, a sharp bone knife held up in a mock threat. Though as he sees me his eyes widen and I wave my hand to rid him of his knife. Such silence follows as I carry the child, he laughs as I flit the shadows over his body. “Evening Puck!” He says loudly with such childish wonder in his voice. “I think he be but joking, don’t cause him harm,” he says this as he tugs on my hair.
“Little prince, he had a knife and your terror was so sharp. Don’t act brave, it’s but a silly ruse,” I say as the boy pouts, folding his arms as I carry him. Trying to put him down by the royal couple but he clings to me now like he’s been caught by sap.
“What trouble did my little prince get into?” The queen asks as she tucks a flower into his hair, she looks to me as I materialise a bone knife. The anger on her face is that of a thousand storms, “who?” She asks sharply as my king puts a lock of her hair behind her ear. Calming her a bit. I look to the canopy of the trees as I watch her look at the faerie trying to speak and call for help. The child pays no mind as he braids parts of my hair with tentative movements. The music begins once more as whispers plague the air. ‘Puck bound to a human?’ A tree sprite whispers too loudly in horror as I sit by a tree, the child happy to braid my hair as I keep an eye on the crowd. My king gives a gentle smile in our direction.
These instances were quite common until he became older. When he became a teenager he’d call on me to his side at events as he danced. I was practically a guard. As he got a bit older at a midsummer nights feast he sat with the royal family as I sat with them. I have done so for many years but the prince hadn’t called on me in over a year so it was interesting when he spoke to me. “Why do you feel my emotions but I feel none of yours?” he asks curious as the royal couple even look to be intrigued by the conversation.
To keep me safe from the knowledge you’d gain, I’m but a Puck who shall not love. Especially not a married man, one which I am an advisor to. “Safety, I feel yours as to protect you and keep mine from you as to not harm you,” the prince looks unimpressed as he pushes my hair behind my shoulder with but a simple swipe.
“Puck, I’m of 18 summers. I’m old enough to not need such strict protective measures,” he speaks as I shake my head.
“Ask a tree sprite with a gentler temperament,” I say this as I can feel the embers of anger.
“I ask you, not a sprite. Why not let us be equal in feeling one’s emotions?” I look to Oberon for help, he has bound himself to a human before but he speaks not a word as he watches me. How helpful that he may leave me to the changelings words alone.
I turn to him as I make eye contact. Forcing him to see the seriousness of such a request, “If you truly wish it, you’d wait until everyone has left. You don’t need to make yourself a public spectacle,” I say this as my king is next to me mere seconds after I’ve spoken. He’s looking at the boy with knowledge hidden in his eyes.
“Puck isn’t just a low ranking sprite. Think carefully before baring the consequences, we’d make sure no physical harm comes to you. Emotional harm we can’t protect you, Puck even caused a storm while in the state of a human. He even threatened to die if I wished it, so little prince?” I can feel the queen watching me as I pull shadows to me, hoping for some sense of comfort.
“State of a human?” The prince asks as Oberon seems to consider speaking of this, even if to his own family.
“I left Puck a human for four months. No memories either, until the night he bound himself to you. I returned his memories before his physical state, as you can imagine he wasn’t impressed. He held a silver knife to his throat, and a storm crashed above. He was practically a changeling himself for four months, so beloved that a child was named after him. The dukes daughter,” my king says this as I wish to leave, the shadows tangle with my being wanting me to return with them. “Even as human as he would ever be, he made a storm, one that rocked Athens in the night,” the boy looks past his father to me with… respect? I can’t name the emotions in his face, he can’t express human emotions solely on his face like many can. Perhaps that is because he was raised here, away from the expressions he’d learn over time.
“I want to feel that, even if only for a moment. Please allow Puck to do so,” the boy pleads as my king looks to me.
“Once everyone is drunk enough to dismiss it,” I state as the boy practically jumps over my kings knee that’s in the dirt from where he knelt to speak with the prince, he pulls on my hair as I just move with the movement. He braids it as I just eat. The Queen smiles but she talks in hushed tones to her husband about the four months.
The night drags on as the prince brushes and braids my hair, I pay no mind as I just eat. Speaking with him and the two royals until he declared he was done, standing and looking at me so intently, “doesn’t Puck look sweet? Almost innocent with his girlish looks,” he asks this to the royal pair but so many faeries gush over me. Many must not remember it’s me with all the wine, “he always looks quite girlish actually… why have your hair long?”
“Why have yours short? Gender isn’t something simple here, the humans are beginning to learn gender isn’t so simple for them either,” I say this as I ghost my hand over the braids, he made a crown of braids. He sits on the tree stump once again, people leave soon enough as I hold out my hand to the young prince, “are you sure?” I ask as he nods a small confident thing. I concentrate as I pull his soul to mine, opening the door so to speak. I watch as he sways, it looks as though he’s completely fine but I can feel his heart pounding against my hand. He looks at me with wide eyes which he can’t control.
“I feel like I’m so warm,” he speaks as he smiles wide, laughing with pure giddiness. He is holding onto my shoulders bracing himself as I watch him, his laughter and happiness turns to him being overwhelmed. His nails trying to scratch under his skin, he even takes his nails to his eyes but I grab his wrists. Willing the door closed as he falls asleep, I have no part in the quick slumber. He is just truly exhausted.
I lay him under a tree as I let the vines drape over him. The queen sits with him as she hums a soothing song. I sit back down as I look at my king, “what emotion are you plagued with dear Puck?” He asks as I look back to the prince to see the tears run down his face.
“Something I wish would end, there’s no necessity or path with this useless emotion,” I say as I drink the entire goblet of my wine, I don’t drink even at such occasions. Never have. I can hear the prince stir a bit as I turn to watch as he speaks.
“Was that love..?” He asks as the world seems quiet but maybe I have zero tolerance for alcohol or perhaps I am missing the looks I’m getting as I lay my head on the wooden table. I feel tugging on my arm as I open an eyelid to find the prince too close to me. “Who? Is it a human beyond the forest, is that why you be quiet?” I turn my head to face the other way.
“Nothing quite like that,” I say as I feel my eyelids close as I whisper softly, “just something far less attainable.”
— Oberon —
As Puck is asleep the prince sits back down, “what’s less attainable than a human?” He asks as Titania looks to me as I walk to Pucks side, checking truly if they be asleep.
I look over their small form, smaller than the prince now stands even. “Someone that will never love Puck. Could simply be from observation, or facts such as marriage,” the Prince speaks no more words as I trace the braids, “were you hoping to make his hair close to the styles you’ve viewed of the seelie court?” Puck hides his face further in the crook of his arms, fast asleep.
The prince blushes as he looks down, “he doesn’t keep moss or nature in his hair which makes it easy to braid. Everyone else’s hair is so tough,” the prince says as I crouch next to Puck, lifting part of his hair the moons light on his hair is almost like a halo. Not a single bit of moss as there used to be for hundreds of years, “why doesn’t he have nature in his hair like everyone else? His hair is practically like mine but far softer and longer,” the prince says as Titania is also examining Puck’s hair, her fingers running through it as you can see the surprise echo over her features.
“I may be to blame, I stripped it from their hair eighteen summers past. When they walked as a human,“ I say this as I look down at the slumbering Puck, “before you couldn’t even tell it was hair with all the moss and plants,” Titania traces the braids as we all watch as Puck moves away from her touch and closer to mine. He nearly falls even as I hold him steady, who may this little one love?
“Just a goblet of wine?” The prince asks as he pokes at Puck who blearily opens their eyes, the prince flinches a little. Especially as Puck waves his hand and the prince is sat stock still on the tree stump again. “Puck,” the boy whines as I can feel the giddy laughter vibrate through Puck.
“Our metabolisms are slow and you need a good tolerance. As Puck has no tolerance it causes this,” I speak as I know Puck is staying awake, especially as he moves away from me. Moss creeps along his arms almost like an extra layer of skin, he falls into a crouch in front of the prince. Far slower than usual.
— Puck —
“Never broadcast my emotions like that again. As you will feel them again years from now. Heed my words, the warning,” I grab his shirt as I force his face close to mine as the wind picks up, I snarl out. “My emotions are mine, they are to stay this way. I can’t cause you harm but I can give you mercy if I deem it necessary, which may hurt you greater,” I blink as I roll my eyes. I don’t feel so great. “Love can be so brilliant but it can kill,” the moss recedes from my arms as I shove my hand into my trouser pockets and feel the silver. I take it out as I offer it to him, he takes it with a sparkle of wonder in his eyes. I had set him free as he stopped trying to move.
“Why a silver knife?” He asks as he moves it in his hands, looking at how it shines. I hold onto the wooden table as I wave a hand over my neck, where I had dug the knife into my throat. It’s a thin green line of a scar, he reaches out to touch it but I see a hand stop him. I look to see my king. I had forgotten where I was, I widened my eyes and rolled them. Trying to blink the haze away.
I trace my finger over the scar, “I keep forgetting that your parents are here,” I say with a sharp giggle, “hundreds of years of memories being relived in a moment would lead to that. The silver actually contains iron impurities, even with me being no longer human. If I dug that knife a little further,” I say as I move my hands away in a dramatic motion.
He takes my hand as he looks close to tears, “but then you wouldn’t have protected me,” he says as I wave my other hand over his ear, a flower blooming in that spot.
“I’d have never even held you as a baby,” I say that as I move my hands away, “all that for love, it can be a poison. In faeries it can rot us from the inside out, just as trees do. In human’s broken hearts literally kill you sometimes,” I say this as I put a hand to my chest. I can’t feel the slow decay but I know it’s there, the slow aching sadness that led to me being human for four months.
I feel as a hand takes the wrist of the hand on my chest, I look up to see my king crouched in front of me. Taking up all that I can see, “how long has the love bloomed? As I may be able to rid it from your being,” he says this with such odd hope and fear. His Queen says nothing.
“Two hundred years at least,” I say as he looks to be shattered by this information, “you wanted me to feel and understand love as a human. You just didn’t notice I felt wrong, as I was beginning to rot,” I push his hand off my own as I gaze at him, the one thing I somehow managed to love. “As you awoke your queen. I knew but denied it. Who’d crack at the royal faeries fragile relationship that has had its fair share of affairs already,” this is all whispers between us as he doesn’t back away. Pushing the curls that fell over my face as he makes me look at him. “I was going to die to avoid the queens wrath.”
The queen sits on what was originally my seat as she looks at me reaching a hand out, “you have my blessing and have for years passed,” I take her hand as she presses her gentle thumb over my hand, “I saw and felt the rot that squeezed on your soul. That’s why I wanted you in the seelie court, away from the catalyst but you refused. I barely see my husband as it would cause us to fight, you declared it yourself. You’re the balance,” she says this louder than I had dared speak. The prince watches in awe as I can feel his giddy excitement. “So balance,” she says as she smiles that humble thing that I’ve only ever seen directed at my king. She pulls me to my feet as she looks at Oberon, a hint of mischief in the air as I can feel the wine leave my system with a simple wave of her hand.
We stand a few steps from the table now as we face each other, her crown of flowers delicate but in a bed of thorns. “Why? When you could have me killed,” I ask as I feel an arm wrapped around my waist, the breath of another moving my hair and tickling my neck.
“Because she’d no longer have the privilege of being queen” he speaks so close to my ear as I move my head back, catching a glimpse of him, “and she loves me despite the fighting, so why kill the one I loved from afar?” He asks this as i notice the prince isn’t paying attention, it’s as though he’s been made to sleep for the time being.
My king spins me away from his body as he leads me to where the other faeries are dancing the night away. Me and my king dancing together has never been an odd thing but this time my heart won’t stop racing with each dance. I laugh and cause mischief with each turn, until my king stops our movements, his fingers tangling in my hair as I watch him with open curiosity. We stand just like that for hours until the light of dawn hits my eyes and I move my body away from it as though it could burn me. How I survived four months under that sun is something I’ll never understand, as I’ve never liked the sharp glare it casts through the trees.