Chapter Text
‘To defeat an enemy, you must learn from them’. Shamura said that! Ever since I got this crown my head has been filled with knowledge beyond my comprehension! I realize my previous plan was flawed, I'm lucky it worked out! Me, the Bully Boys, and whatever cultists joined us on the way, have made camp at Leshy’s old temple! I told them to put up fortified walls and set up patrols! Now, to ruminate on what to-
“Hey Goatface, there's a problem.”
“Excellent! What's the issue, Cap’n?”
The Captain picked me up and carried me outside. I saw that my mercenaries were cowering in fear as some sort of sermon was happening outside. Captain placed me on top of the wall and…Oh, it was a sight to behold! Maybe a battalion of…No, a division…Wait, a field army …A PROPER ARMY GROUP OF CULTISTS!?! I DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET HERE THIS FAST! Okay, first, I have to listen to what this sermon is…I looked down to see the main speaker.
“-BUT WE NEVER GAVE UP, BROTHERS AND SISTERS! WE HAVE BEEN REWARDED IN OUR STEADFAST LOYALTY WITH A SUCCESSOR TO ONE OF OUR BLESSED OVERLORDS!”
Cheering and applause erupted from the members of my future army. One by one, they noticed that I was here and began chanting my name! ‘The Goat! The Goat! The Goat!’. Oh crackers, what do I do!?
*GIVE THEM ORDERS. GIVE THEM A MISSION. THEY ARE FANATICS.*
WHAT. WHO IS THAT!?
*I AM WHAT GIVES YOU POWER. DO AS I SAY AND BECOME THE KING YOU SO DESIRE TO BE.*
Ah! Of course! Let me just…
“CULTISTS! I am uh…The Goat!”
Immediate applause. Okay, this might be easier than I think…
“We're gonna claim this land for ourselves and I shall be the Lord of it!”
I heard one cultist scream out.
“WE'RE GONNA KILL THAT STUPID FUCKING LAMB ALREADY!?”
Before I could answer, the crowd went WILD, chanting ‘Chop that lamb'! The speaker from earlier raised his hand to get the attention of the crowd before lowering it slowly. He then spoke.
“FOOLS! THE LOT OF YOU! We are but a HUMBLE congregation! To attack now would be the death of us all! Isn't that right, Goat God?”
“Ah, yes! What is your name, o wise one?”
“Ah…My name is Peter! WHAT IS IT YOU DESIRE FROM US!?”
“Well, first order of business is-”
I WAS BOMBARDED WITH VISIONS. It appears the Crown has loads of plans for this situation.
*I DO. I RECOMMEND WE GO TO SILK CRADLE. THE SOLDIERS THERE ARE BOUND TO LISTEN TO YOU.*
Interesting!
“-Silk Cradle! Half of our forces shall remain here and build up a base! The other half shall accompany me to conquer new lands! Also, Peter, you're coming with me!”
Peter raised his arms into the arm.
“OH, MOST GLORIOUS DAY! I shall get us PREPARED for this expedition!”
“Good!”
I jumped off the wall back in the camp. I heard cheers and applause from the other side! I know, my loyal followers, I'm very cool…I saw that the Captain had his arms crossed.
“I see we're working with more Old Faith weirdos…”
“Oh, don't worry about it! I'll be bringing you guys with me! You'll be like…My personal guard!”
“You didn't PAY for that.”
I pulled out a GIGANTIC bag of money and threw it his way.
“...I'm a man of my word. The bully boys are now your PERSONAL GUARD. OUR JOB IS TO GUARD YOU AND NOTHING ELSE.”
He was saying that through gritted teeth. I patted his back.
“Great! However, as leader of my guard, you have the special job of being an advisor!”
“Okay, I ADVISE YOU not to trust a fanatic called Peter. Does that scream trustworthy?”
“What's YOUR name!”
“Dunk, it's short for Duncan.”
“Well, DUNK, I trust him! He's loyal to the faith I'm using for political aims!”
Duncan stared at me before walking away. He gathered his boys and Peter gathered his fanatics as we made our way to Silk Cradle! Many men were lost on our long march and we had to raid a couple of towns just to stay afloat which wasn't IDLE but…We made it to Silk Cradle! Hooray! Huzzah! I decided the best course of action would be resting for the night! Before I could even rest, I heard Duncan yell.
“I don't have to believe in your religion to do my JOB!”
Peter scoffed.
“You are the personal guardians of our NEW GOD! Your APOSTASY will NOT be tolerated!”
I decided to intervene.
“Heyheyhey! No fighting! We have the same goal here, uniting the LAND under my rule!”
Peter gave me a glance.
“And restoring the world to it’s proper order, correct?”
I…Didn’t want to answer that. I want to be a KING, not become some God and fight the Lamb…Luckily for me, I heard rustling! Duncan immediately jumped infront of me and motioned for his men to surround me. Peter began shouting, calling for his men to get ready for a fight! Enormous spiders appeared from the darkness, hissing and snarling! They were EVERYWHERE! The Cultists let out a battle cry as they began attacking the spiders while Duncan and his boys tried escorting me out of the battle.
“Duncan! I have an IDEA! Pick me up and hold me high!”
“What!? That leaves you open-”
“JUST DO IT!”
Duncan growled before doing as I asked! I stretched my arms out.
“STOP!”
The spiders froze and looked at me.
“Oh, that worked! Uh…Leave us alone!”
The spiders began skittering back into the dark. The fanatics began cheering once again! I did it once again!
*DON'T GET COCKY, THE ROAD IS ABOUT TO GET ROCKY. SO FAR YOU'VE MET WITH THINGS THAT ARE WILLING TO SUBMIT TO YOUR AUTHORITY.*
Then I'll assert my authority!
“ONWARD MEN! TO SHAMURA'S TEMPLE, THE NEW SEAT OF MY KINGDOM!”
And so with our renewed spirits, we marched once more! Of course, none of us had slept so it was rough…But the monsters didn't bother us! I have 2 temples under my control! Now for the rest!