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To help re-establish a relationship between the Akademiya and the Temple of Silence, Sethos had been offered a temporary enrollment by the Dendro Archon. Cyno had insisted that it would be good for all sides and for Sethos to have new experiences outside of the desert.
And so, Sethos was now sitting at a cafe, watching people around him rush around and go on with their days. He had already attended a couple of classes, finding it surprisingly easy to get himself used to his new routine. He had also begun to help people with errands as a way to make new friends. He was sociable and liked running around, it made him feel like he was doing something useful with his time.
He took a sip of his coffee and absentmindedly glanced up. He almost spat out his drink when he saw someone flying through the sky with a letter in hand. Huh? He didn't know that the technology had advanced this much in the city that people could fly around!
He put the matter to the back of his mind, opting to ask about it later when he had the time. After finishing his coffee, he headed back to his temporary residence, which was a single room at the Akademiya’s dorms. He could go and rest home if he wanted to but the walk would be long and tiring (if he did it every day) and so he had been offered a room for his convenience.
He hadn't expected lord Kusanali to be so generous and kind. He had always assumed all gods would be more…intimidating. But he had met the Dendro Archon in a meeting with Cyno and some sages, and she was but a child who spoke a lot of big words. Though his worldview had slightly shaken, he wasn't upset by it at all. A benevolent and gentle god was always better after all.
At the dorms, he spotted Cyno and walked over with silent steps. The General Mahamatra was still able to sense him and turned in his direction with a warm smile. ”Sethos, I was just about to look for you”
”I’m not playing TCG with you,” Sethos said and ignored the look of utter betrayal he received. He folded his arms across his chest with a sigh, ”I had something to ask though. Earlier today I saw someone flying around, is that some sort of new technology from the Akademiya?”
Cyno held his chin in thought, ”Flying around? Oh, you must've seen Hat Guy”
”Hat Guy?”
”Yes, he has a big hat so everyone calls him Hat Guy. And he can fly using his vision, so he sometimes gets sent to deliver messages by lord Kusanali”
Sethos raised his brows, ”By the Archon personally? So is this Hat Guy some sort of important secret delivery boy?”
”I suppose that’s not an incorrect statement” Cyno chuckled, ”though if he heard you call him that he might get upset”
Sethos looked a bit guilty, ”I didn't mean anything bad by it, I was just curious”
Cyno waved his hand and changed the subject, ”In any case, I’m sorry the Akademiya has yet to invent flying devices”
Truthfully it had seemed too good to be true, so Sethos wasn't upset by this information. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, ”Haha, no matter. I was just shocked by what I saw, that's all”
Quickly Cyno jumped in to bring the topic back to more important things, ”Are you sure you don't want to play a few rounds with me and some of my juniors? We have snacks too” His eyes were pleading, shining pathetically, which was very unlike the General, when he was in his work mode. Did he force Tighnari to play with him with this same technique, Sethos wondered.
He sighed, ”I suppose a few rounds is fine”
It turned out to be more than a few rounds since once Cyno began to play it was hard to get him to stop. Regardless, Sethos couldn't deny that he had fun so he could only blame himself for his late arrival to his dorm room.
He settled himself for sleep and thought through his eventful day as he lay in bed. He hummed to himself, ” Hat Guy, huh…”
-
Why must he be sent out to deliver letters? Was this a new way of torture for him? At least it was something that he could do to make himself feel useful. If he wasn’t of use then what other value would he have? So even if these menial tasks were humiliating, at least he didn't constantly feel like he didn't deserve to live.
Wanderer was what he called himself now, the Traveller had not been able to come up with a new name and it was probably dumb to put such a task to his ex-enemy anyway. He had had many names in his life and coming up with a new one was too tiring at the moment. Though he knew he might have to come up with one soon unless he wanted to remain ”Hat Guy” forever.
Kusanali had named him that during the Academiya Extravaganza and the nickname had unfortunately stuck and now almost every student he saw called him that. Though, since he never gave them another name to call him, it was partly his own fault.
As he flew over the city he felt eyes on him. He was already used to being gawked at, the people for some reason unable to find anything better to do, so he ignored it and went on with his delivery.
The letter he was holding was apparently confidential and was to be delivered to a sage who had been sent out to research the remaining withering zones in the forest. It didn't matter to Wanderer what the letter contained, he really couldn't care less, so he flew with steady speed to deliver it and get the matter over and done with as soon as possible.
He didn't like staying in the forest for too long because the Aranara would end up finding him and gathering around him like a flock of pesky chickens. They would whine that he should play with them and grab onto his clothes, annoying him to no end.
He was also weak against their innocence so he couldn't even refuse them too harshly, though he would never admit this out loud. And so he had to be fast so that he wouldn't be dragged into a juvenile game of hide and seek– or worse, sitting in a flower field and being forced to make flower crowns.
The sage was shocked out of his wits when Wanderer arrived in a gust of wind. The man fell in fear, covering his head with his hands pathetically. Wanderer clicked his tongue and threw the letter down in front of the man with zero grace.
”Your letter, you're welcome”, he said and immediately took off again. But just as he was about to fly off, something heavy weighed him down and he had to stop only after a short while. He glanced down at the Aranara holding onto his legs and sighed.
-
Sethos walked outside into humid warm weather after his classes had ended. His steps were unhurried, taking in the scenery in front of him. As he walked, his gaze landed on a thick branch above the road he was taking, and on that branch sat a stranger with a very large round hat. Hat Guy??
A smile crept onto his face. Sethos wasn't sure why he was intrigued by this person but something about him seemed more than what he let on. Hat guy was pretty mysterious and Sethos loved mysteries. He was born with an innate thirst for knowledge and he really wanted to get to know this person.
He looked for a route to take to climb onto the branch and moved quietly like a stalking tiger in the wild. He boldly went over to the stranger's side and sat down without asking.
Hat Guy gave him a side glance and a questioning brow. Sethos smiled brightly at him, ”Are you Hat Guy?”
”…” he didn't receive an answer. The stranger's face looked more annoyed by the second and he let out a frustrated sigh. But Sethos wasn't one to give up easily. His hand sneaked over to touch one of the long tassels that hung from the stranger's hat. The silk was soft to the touch and quality material. He hummed, ”Your hat is pretty interesting, and not just the hat— you are pretty interesting. I’m Sethos, what's your name? Surely it's not just Hat Guy”
Hat Guy let out a long breath, ”Do you not have anything better to do than bother someone you don't even know?”
Well if that was the case, maybe he should back off a little. Push and pull method! Sethos smiled brightly and nodded as if to say ” Yes I do have better things to do” and then jumped down onto the paved road below them.
He turned his head to give the stranger a wave, ”It was nice meeting you, Hat Guy!”
-
Nice meeting him? There was nothing nice about him. What a strange guy this Sethos was. He had heard from Kusanali that he was the leader of the Temple of Silence and that he was at the Akademiya to re-establish relations. Wanderer had been suspicious of him at first but since for the first few weeks the guy had just attended classes normally, he had let his suspicions go. He even saw the guy running errands for people with a happy-go-lucky expression on his face. Who would have guessed that the same guy would suddenly start following him?
After their first meeting, that guy had kept his eyes on him. He probably thought that he was unnoticeable as his steps were completely silent and he had the capability to make himself disappear into the crowds. But wanderer was not a human and he had abilities that let him see the other clearly wherever he was. And so, he was extremely aware of the guy’s constant gaze on him.
He was used to people staring at him but this guy was oddly persistent. And whenever their eyes would meet, he’d wave happily and attempt to come over. Wanderer was not a sociable person and so he teleported away as soon as the other got too close to him.
But for some reason that wasn’t enough to deter Sethos away. The second time they had a conversation, Wanderer was already tired of running away from the guy. He sat at his usual resting place on a large branch that was high enough that most people didn't bother to look up and so didn't see him.
Sethos had already seen him there before so he knew to look for him and soon he was once again climbing over with an annoyingly happy expression on his face. Wanderer had never smiled back at him so it was a mystery as to why this guy looked so happy to see him every time. He rolled his eyes and said mockingly, "The errand boy's come running all the way to the Akademiya. Quite the busy little bee, aren't you?"
Sethos called out to him as he sat on the branch and handed over something. Wanderer glanced over at what Sethos was offering to him. It was a lunchbox.
”What’s this?”
”I'm just here for lunch— someone gave me this. Want some?" His smile was radiant and warm, and very irritating. Wanderer shook his head. He didn't need to eat and he had no need to share someone else's lunch for any purpose either. He looked away into the distance, trying his best to ignore the one next to him. Perhaps then, the guy would finally catch the hint and leave him alone.
Sethos took his lunchbox back and chuckled under his breath, seemingly unaffected by how he was being ignored.
For some reason, Wanderer felt the urge to taunt this person, as if for revenge for his constant annoying habit of finding him to annoy him. He snarked, “I'd say you're no errand boy at all. You've got a more important role." He wanted to intimidate the other a little, make it known that he knew who the other was, and that he was not to be taken lightly.
But to his surprise, Sethos didn’t look shaken or surprised at all, his demeanor calm and collected. The corners of his mouth lifted into a mischievous grin, "I'd say that you're no simple student either. You've got a more important role.”
Embarrassed that he had been countered so easily, Wanderer pulled his hat down to cover his face and once again teleported himself away.
-
Sethos was stunned as he watched the empty spot next to him. Hat-guy was so interesting, confident one minute and shy the next. He had been right to think Hat Guy was mysterious, he had spoken as though he knew who Sethos was and then disappeared as he had never been there at all. He was like a mythical being who appeared and disappeared at his own whim. It was getting harder and harder for Sethos to calm himself down.
He had never been this interested in another person. Was the outside world filled with such interesting characters, or was Hat Guy just special? If so, then Sethos had been very lucky to run into him.
Hat Guy was seemingly rude but he sometimes helped students from other darshans. His disdainful attitude seemed like a front because the truth was that he was actually a pretty nice person. He had heard from a classmate of his that Hat Guy had seen her carry a heavy box of research materials and without even asking, he had taken the box from her and carried it to another classroom.
There must have been a reason as to why he was so antisocial though. He could act normally with people but as soon as he was invited to an event he’d say a firm no and wouldn't listen any longer. If you asked about his thesis topic he would speak on it for as long as he could but if you asked anything personal, he'd go silent and disappear. This was what Sethos had learned after snooping around a little.
Now he was even more interested. He knew he was acting a bit obsessively but this was just his personality. Whenever he would find something that interested him, he'd spend day and night trying to figure it out, expending all his energy until he had researched all he could on the subject. This was the first time his interest had fallen onto a person though.
Perhaps if he pestered Hat Guy enough, he’d eventually relent and tell him more about himself and then perhaps his curiosity would be quelled for a time.
A few days later Sethos saw a familiar hat. Hat Guy was sitting at a cafe, a cup of black coffee steaming in front of him and a stack of papers in his hands. He was reading something, his hand holding his chin in deep thought.
Though Sethos thought for a moment that perhaps he shouldn't bother him when he was so focused, his enthusiasm was too hard to hold back and so he strolled over and sat on the other side of the table.
”Hello, Hat Guy! We meet again!” he greeted, his feet tapping restlessly against the ground.
Hat Guy sighed and put the paper down he had been holding. His gaze turned piercing and angry, ”Stop calling me that''
Sethos laughed awkwardly, ”I don't know what else to call you”
”Just Wanderer is fine”
”Wanderer, but that doesn't really sound like a name, and it's a little long…oh, I know! I’ll just call you Senior since you are my senior at the Akademiya!”
”Do what you want, I don't care”
He definitely cares, why would he be so angry before if he didn’t? At least he didn't look as angry now, which meant that he was ok with the title of senior.
Sethos leaned against the table, holding his head up by his fist. His eyes ventured around the person in front of him– for once getting a proper look at him from the front. His eyelashes were long, his facial features delicate and beautiful. Sethos hadn't noticed how pretty he was before, since this person always hid behind his hat and an angry expression.
Cold eyes darted to his own and he felt a chill run through his spine. Maybe this person was a little intimidating after all.
”Why are you staring at me?” his senior asked, grabbing the rim of his hat and pulling it down to obscure his view. This way of hiding was rather…. cute? How was a person both intimidating and cute at the same time?
Sethos cleared his throat, ”Sorry, you’re just nice to look at”
He only regretted his honesty when he saw the faint flush on his senior’s face before he once again vanished into thin air. His coffee was left unfinished on the table and… Sethos was going to have to pay his bill, wasn't he? Well, his senior's disappearance had been his fault anyway so he supposed it wasn't that big of a deal.
-
“Wanderer? Are you alright?” Kusanali asked worriedly. She was sitting across from him, her feet dangling off the chair as she was too small for her feet to reach the floor. They had been having a short meeting while having tea and snacks, though it had only been her who had eaten anything off the table.
Wanderer snapped back to reality from his thoughts and nodded, “I’m fine, please continue”
She frowned, “No, if you’re not feeling all right, we can have this meeting another time”
“I said I’m fine,” Wanderer snapped.
“Then why are you so distracted today? you almost spilled your tea earlier too”
He stayed silent because he didn’t have a good retort. She was right of course, he was distracted. His stupid mind kept returning to a certain stalker of his and his incomprehensible behavior. Sethos had kept pestering him with gifts, invitations, and questions about his past. He was oddly enthusiastic about him and for some weird reason seemed to enjoy his company. No one enjoyed his company.
He suddenly felt a familiar probing sensation in his head and he glared at Kusanali. Not a chance, Buer, he thought inside his head and the sensation quickly disappeared. She should know better by now that her mind reading wouldn’t work on him so easily. She looked a bit embarrassed and guilty, while she took a sip of her tea.
“If something is bothering you, I am always here to listen”
“I’ll handle my own problems, thanks” Wanderer grumbled, his arms crossing over his chest defensively.
“Is it because of Sethos? I’ve noticed him following you around the Akademiya and he seems to talk to you often”
Wanderer sighed– it seemed he had two stalkers. “Maybe”, he finally admitted.
“Did something happen with him?”
Wanderer shook his head, “No… I just… don’t understand why he would choose to spend his time pestering me. Surely anyone else would be much better company” He didn’t dare look at Kusanali, lest she realize how vulnerable he was feeling. His gaze bore into his teacup and his hands curled into fists in his lap.
“Have you asked him? I think he will tell you his feelings honestly– he seems like that kind of guy” she spoke matter-of-factly, yet it was calculated enough that Wanderer could tell that she was being careful.
He felt a sting in his chest, which was odd since he didn't have a heart at all, these feelings shouldn't exist either. He mumbled, “Even if he explains it, I still won’t understand the mind of a weirdo like him”
Kusanali hummed in thought. She then smiled as though she had thought of something amusing, then shook her head and reverted to a neutral expression. “I think that you think too much. Why not try being his friend? Letting someone in and letting yourself trust again would help you heal from your past”
Could he even heal? Was he allowed to heal? “And if he betrays my trust?”
“Then I’ll still be here to listen”
Wanderer sighed and drank the rest of his tea with a complicated feeling in his chest. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t believe her. But a small part of him wanted to. It was the pathetic and weak side of him that he had tried to rid himself of before. He knew now that there was no need for him to keep hurting himself like that and if he wanted to find his will to live again, he would have to work for it a little.
But trust was so very hard for him. He had been so guarded for so long, he didn’t know what it was like to trust anyone anymore. It was hard enough for him to keep his relationship with Kusanali civil. He had stopped snapping back at her as much and now could even carry out normal conversations. It would only take one wrong word to make him curl into his defenses one more and yet she never said anything hurtful to him. She seemed to know what topics were off-limits and one good thing about her was that she was honest and matter-of-fact when she spoke. She didn’t hurt him, but she never sugar-coated her words either. That gave Wanderer a chance to relax a bit. If she was trying to be too nice to him, he would find it too revolting to even try trusting her.
But what about Sethos? He was also pretty honest and straightforward. It was just that sometimes he would say strange things that made Wanderer feel embarrassed to be around him. He didn’t like to be complimented, because he didn’t believe that it was genuine. He preferred that people would jab at him a little, that he could believe at least. If only Sethos was a little meaner to him, then maybe he could try getting along with him…
This had been Buer’s plan, hadn’t it? Why was he alone with Sethos on a desert mission to look for a fatui camp? Sethos didn’t work for the Akademiya, there was no reason for him to be here. “He can be your guide”, Kusanali had said. As if Wanderer didn’t know what she was plotting.
“Senior, is everything alright? You keep sighing, are you thirsty? I have water with me” Sethos asked worriedly.
Wanderer shook his head, “I don’t need water, keep it for yourself”
Sethos frowned, “...well that can’t be right, I can’t have you fainting on me…”
Wanderer wanted to rip his hair out. It would take too long and too much effort to try and explain, so he grumbled as he snatched the water container and drank a few gulps. He then returned the flask with a shove and a roll of his eyes, “Happy now?”
Sethos’ expression brightened instantly and he nodded his head. For some reason, a faint image of a dog wagging its tail went through Wanderer's mind.
“Let’s keep moving”, he said and the two journeyed on along the sandy dunes. If Wanderer had been alone on this mission, he could’ve just flown over quickly and had this task done by today. Now he had a bothersome human with him who had to walk and stop to rest every once in a while. The mission would take them three days at minimum. How ridiculous.
As they set up a camp for the night Wanderer found himself less annoyed than he usually would have been. Sethos had been chattering away the entire time, sharing stories about his life in the Temple of Silence. His smile never left his face, illuminated by the light of the fire. Wanderer found himself a little drawn to it.
Sethos poked at the burning wood with a long stick and sighed, ”I hope I won't be too much of a burden to you, I’m not as strong as I used to be”
”What do you mean?” Wanderer asked, speaking for the first time in a while.
”I used to be a vessel for the spirit of Hermanubis but I had a duel with Cyno and ended up giving up my power to him. So now I can only rely on my vision” Though the corners of his mouth were still turned upright, Sethos had a melancholic look in his eyes as he stared into the flames.
Wanderer hummed in thought., ”A vessel huh….” it appeared that they were a lot more similar than he could have ever guessed. His head hurt from flashes of memories that tried to intrude in his mind—- a purple silhouette, a forgery, a puppet hooked into a machine. He shook his head and glanced over to Sethos, curiosity now piqued, ”Do you…regret it?”
There was a moment of silence as Sethos seemed to ponder his answer. He eventually turned to face Wanderer, his expression nostalgic and warm, ”No, I’m satisfied with the result. Now I can finally become my own person”
Become his own person. Wanderer felt a sting in his heartless chest. He also wanted to know who he was and yet his mind was still a mess from having merged different versions of himself together. He looked at the ground in front of him as he spoke in a hushed tone, ”I think... it's admirable that you have been able to grow from your experience. I was also created to be a vessel of sorts…but I was never allowed to have that which I was meant to carry”
He sighed, then lifted his head up to look at the vast expanse of stars— fake, as he knew, but still beautiful in their own right. ”I did have that power for a moment. And then it was all stripped away from me. Now, I don't know who I am anymore. I don't think I ever was my own person. Just a puppet for others to control…”
Next to him, Sethos stared at his profile with intensity, ”What about now? I think there are lots of unique qualities to you that make you— you”
”I suppose…” Wanderer chuckled, ”I guess it's not as easy for me to accept that I have no purpose”
”Why would you have to have a purpose? Isn't it great that you get to choose what to do with your life?”
Wanderer thought about it. Maybe for someone not as insane as him, it would feel freeing. ”But...I don't know what I want. If I ever dared to want something, it was taken away from me. Whenever I dared to trust someone, they betrayed me…or at least I thought they did for a long time” An image of Niwa haunted his mind. Maybe Niwa would laugh at him if he knew all the things that he had done after the incident. Or maybe he’d feel sorry for him…
Sethos did his best to console him, ” Hmmm, l think life is full of ups and downs. And if you've experienced mostly downs thus far then it can only go up from here”
What a simple and naive way of thinking, Wanderer thought. But his lips still turned into a small smile, unable to hold back his amusement. He turned to Sethos with a laugh in his voice, ”Don't you dare try and give me hope”
His words and tone of voice contradicted him but Sethos understood that he had gotten a little through to him. He smiled back, his green eyes turning upwards into crescents.
-
The Fatui camp was taken care of with ease, Wanderer storming through with bloodlust and vigor, destroying everything in sight with maniacal laughter. Sethos provided support with his bow and arrows, causing electricity to tense up the air and sand around them. It almost made the hairs on Setho’s neck stand up.
He watched as his senior, who previously had been very calm and mysterious, now showed extreme violence with a happy expression. Perhaps that would deter someone else but Sethos was instead delighted. His heart rate had risen to new heights, unsure if it was because of the shock of seeing Wanderer like this or if he had found this behavior attractive. If it was the latter, he’d probably need to get checked for a head injury.
Once the camp had been cleared out, the two headed back towards the forest. But this time Wanderer had had enough of slow traveling and so he proposed to Sethos that they’d instead fly back.
”You mean, you’d carry me? Won't I be heavy?” Sethos asked, his brows knitted. Wanderer poked his finger to the spot where his brows met— the behavior playful and completely new. Perhaps they had grown a lot closer from the conversation they had had the night before. Sethos happily accepted this new development with open arms.
Wanderer laughed, his tone attempting to be mocking yet unable to hide a bit of fondness in it, ”I can handle a little bee like you any day”
And oh how that made Sethos’ heart almost leap out of his chest. He agreed with a heated face, letting himself be picked up like a wet cat from his armpits. Now, this wasn't very romantic but if Wanderer had tried to princess-carry him, Sethos might have combusted on the spot.
The feeling of flying was incredible, the wind on his face gentle and warm. He looked over the sights with starry eyes. He had never been this high up before! He could see so far, making the world feel so incredibly vast!
”How are you holding up?” Wanderer asked as they began to fly closer to the Akademiya.
”This is amazing! And you get to do this all the time? I’m so jealous!” Sethos excitedly exclaimed, his cheeks feeling tired from all the smiling.
”Well, maybe I wouldn't mind taking you on a few flights once in a while— in exchange for favors of course,” Wanderer said from above him, his tone amused.
Sethos looked up excitedly, ”Really?! I’d love to!” he saw the other's face and felt his chest tighten at the fond smile he received.
Once they reached the city, Sethos was dropped unceremoniously by the entrance. Thankfully he had fast reflexes and he flipped in the air, landing perfectly without a hitch. For some reason, Wanderer looked annoyed at him for that.
After that day the two became closer, spending time together whether it was at the Akademiya or outside the city. They’d eat lunch together, go to cafes, and study in the house of Deana. It became harder and harder for Wanderer to state that they were not friends.
And he really couldn't say they weren’t anymore. He never spent as much time with anyone else— less tolerate anyone as much as he tolerated Sethos. So he had completely run out of excuses to give. Yes, they were friends by now. Coming to this realization was mortifying but also….nice.
Wanderer also wasn't blind to Sethos’ constant flirting, choosing to ignore it for his own reasons. But it didn't feel bad to have someone give him all this attention. The fact that Sethos didn't know his past made him feel both glad and guilty at the same time. He doesn't know, so he won’t judge me. But also, He might find out and blame me for not telling him earlier.
It wasn't easy, nothing ever was when it came to him. Wanderer was so tired of always feeling this way. He wanted to be happy too. Why was it so hard for him to achieve? Why was he not worthy of it?
Months went by, Sethos tagging alongside him everywhere he went. Things became too comfortable, too ordinary, too familiar. At this point, it was no longer about whether or not he should try to avoid him so that he wouldn’t become attached. He was already attached and so now it was a matter of ”if he betrays me, what will I do?”. In the past his first thought might have been: just kill him then. Now, his mind was blank.
These thoughts clouded his mind and it probably showed on his face. Eventually Sethos couldn't handle his sad looks anymore and tried to confront him about it.
”What is going on? Tell me, so I can try to help”
But Wanderer felt like his mouth was made of the ashes he had burned himself into. A threat of a sob always lingered around his throat as well as the painful desire to destroy everything around him.
And it wasn't Sethos’ fault that Wanderer was like this, so he couldn't, he wouldn't take it out on him. He knew better by now than to throw a tantrum.
”I’m….fine” he lied. And he knew he didn't sound convincing at all.
Sethos placed a hand on top of his. They were sitting in their usual spot, the branch they had first talked on, and had carried on conversing on ever since. It was late, the moon was high up in the sky and the streets were quiet. It was too quiet, nothing could distract Wanderer’s thoughts and so he was stuck in his endless loop of anxiety.
Sethos gave him a pleading look, ”What can I do to make you open up to me? I’ll do anything”
He sounded so desperate that Wanderer couldn't help but feel pity for him, so he decided to say something honest for once, ”I don't want you to end up hating me”
”I won't! I promise I won't!” Sethos quickly exclaimed, “No matter what you want to tell me, I will never hate you for it!”
Wanderer tried his best to sound less bitter than he felt. ”Don't be so sure…when you don't even know anything…”
”Please, I'll swear on my life if you need me to!”
No one had ever wanted to know him so insistently before. Seeing Sethos reach out to him so desperately made the broken part of Wanderer’s non-existent heart heal a part of itself. He shook his head, ”There's no need for that. I’ll…I’ll tell you.”
He closed his eyes and began to talk. He told his story, from his birth, to the story of Niwa, of the doctor, of the fatui. He told him how twisted his mind was, how undeserving of love he was. He spoke of almost becoming a god, of being defeated, then about his erasure from the irminsul. He knew a lot of these topics were not supposed to be shared with just anyone and he might get in trouble with Kusanali later for it. But he trusted that Sethos wouldn't spread this knowledge.
When he was done he already regretted it, a tight feeling rested in his chest, making him want to run away. But he stayed, his gaze fixated on the hem of his clothes, making sure his voice didn't waver and his eyes stayed dry.
There was a brief silence after he was done. Of course, such a shocking revelation would make everyone quiet for a moment.
Then Sethos spoke, ”I see…that’s quite the resumé you have”
After seeing how Wanderer pursed his lips in displeasure, Sethos quickly apologized, ”Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to make light of the situation! I just…wanted to make you less tense”
Wanderer turned to glare at him, his eyes wet, his emotions threatening to spill. Sethos stared at him in surprise, never having seen this vulnerable side to him before. He kept going, ”I think…it’s admirable, that you've found yourself on the path to redemption— not many can do that”
He squeezed his senior’s hand reassuringly, ”And I don’t think you’re undeserving of love”
Wanderer laughed under his breath. His tears hadn’t fallen, his many years of training helping him keep them in. He would learn to let them fall later. He had done enough vulnerability for today.
”Thank you,” he said. The feelings he had were too many and too difficult to put into words. Instead he turned his hand around and laced their fingers together.
Since the mood had been so good so far, Sethos became a little bolder and reached over to pull the hat off him. He received a raised eyebrow for his action, but he didn't stop there, he placed the hat to his side and then leaned into Wanderer’s space. They were very close, their faces near enough that they could feel each other's breaths on their cheeks.
”What are you doing?” Wanderer asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His cheeks had flushed a rosy pink, yet he stayed where he was and didn't pull away.
”Trying to kiss you” Sethos said, smiling mischievously, all the while sneaking closer to his target. His eyes were locked onto Wanderers lips— like a tiger stalking his prey, he moved carefully as if to make sure the other didn't run away from him.
”…” Wanderer let out a shaky breath. Perhaps he was still unsure or maybe he was just nervous. Sethos didn't want to do anything his senior wouldn't want so he stayed where he was, lingering just a breath away from kissing him like he had wanted to for a while.
Wanderer seemed to read his thoughts and so he took the initiative and finally pressed their lips together. It was short and sweet— over too soon in Sethos’ opinion.
”I’ve never done that before, '' Wanderer admitted in a hushed tone.
Sethos would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a bit of self satisfaction knowing that he had been the first to kiss him. ”Well then, I think we should do that a couple more times so you get more experience” His other hand slipped over to Wanderer’s waist smoothly.
”You're ridiculous,” Wanderer said. But he let himself be kissed a few times more. He let himself be loved a little longer.