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Maybe this time

Chapter 9

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

It’d taken Blitz about ten minutes to get there after Adam messaged him; in the meantime, Adam hopped into the shower and washed off after a few hours in the car, and gargled some mouth wash. He really didn’t want to have sex smelling like an hours long drive through the desert. It wasn’t like he was intending for this to happen, but, when in Rome, do as the Romans do and get plowed, so to speak.

 

Adam heard Blitz’s car arrive before he saw him, a gaudy painted can that likely needed more repairs than the van was actually worth. It kicked out a cloud of black smoke, a miasma that the owner in question walked out of like a demon straight from hell. Blitz was exactly what Adam thought he’d be in person, he’d heard him walking down the hall, jingling and presumably talking to himself or making small talk at other guests. The man came bursting into the hotel room, carrying a bag over his shoulder, and a cocky smirk. He wasn’t much taller than Lucifer, his hair was buzzed short to his skull, probably to hide his scar – or maybe to accentuate it. His entire outfit screamed an over abundance of personality, metal and pins all over his coat made sure no one would miss him when he showed up.

 

So. Blitz wasn’t the best kisser Adam found out, but he was enthusiastic over it, and Adam didn’t care too much about kissing him anyway. After they broke away, Blitz grinned up at him, sizing him up and down.

 

“You know, you actually look a ton like one of my ex’s, but I’m guessing you have a dick.” Blitz said with humor in his voice. “I mean, I’ll suck whatever is in front of me, but it’s fun when there’s a bit of girth, you know? Something to chew on.”

 

“Yeah, well, I’m not trying to be another ex. Let’s get this over with. I don’t want to take too long. I just want to get fucked, so take off what you’re taking off.” Adam said with a small huff, pulling his shirt up and off. “Also don’t say you’re going to chew on my dick, Jesus – don’t chew on anyone’s clit either, fuck.”

 

Blitz swung his bag around, with an excited look, like Santa unveiling a sack of horror.

“Of course, I’m never one to disappoint – ignore what my bitch ex Verosika said, I did too go down on her. At least twice! So, how do you want to get fucked? I’ve got a big dick, toys, bondage, vibrators, candles, and this thing I don’t even know what it does but just threatening Stolas with it makes him cum instantly.” Blitz pulled out a metal instrument from the bag, waving it around, making Adam wrinkle his nose in horror.

 

“Man, that’s a fucking speculum…” Adam grimaced, taking a step back, holding up a hand. “You are not using that on me. Just…look, I want normal shit, okay? If you want to warm me up with a vibrator or something, fine, but I’m tired of just fucking dildos.”

 

Blitz shrugged, tossing the bag to the side with little care, even though something sounded like it shattered inside; but he paused just briefly, looking at Adam with a sly look. “Fine, if you want to be boring as shit, that’s your prerogative – but, what about a blindfold? Yeah, you like that, don’t you? I see it on your face.”

 

Adam faltered, trying to close off his expression. He shouldn’t say yes, he should be focusing on Blitz, anyone but Lucifer. He was trying to get over the man. And yet…

 

“…Yeah, fine.”

 

Blitz pulled him down with a grin. “For a big guy, I knew you were a little freak deep down.”

 

They’d gotten to the bed, and Adam sat down on the edge, letting Blitz come to him. He’d tugged down his pants, easy enough to do with joggers, until he wasn’t in anything at all. Adam didn’t really care about showing all to the other man, it wasn’t like this was romantic at all. Blitz was just a convenient means to an end.

 

Blitz grinned down at him as he got closer, tilting his head. “Not a bad view, all things considered. You know Stolas is like a fucking stick, like his ass bones literally hurt sometimes when I’m giving it to him, I swear to fuck I had bruises on my hips last time, but I still love-“ Blitz let a hint of horror wash over his face, before he swallowed the words down. That was clearly not something he’d meant to let slip. “I still love fucking him, and that’s the only thing I love. Sex, wet, hard-“

 

“Do you ever shut up? All you do is fucking talk, and talk, and pretend you’re not in love with Stolas. Jesus…” Adam said, not really asking, reaching forward to grab his belt, unbuckling it until he could get to the buttons.

Why did he have so many damn belts? He pulled Blitz out from his jeans, and had to admit the guy was well packaged for a shorter man. He took him in hand, giving him a few pumps, enjoying the feeling of a real cock in his hands. Blitz was cut, and he had no issues with getting hard. Adam wanted to taste, but god knows where Blitz had it before him, it’d probably have been safer to lick a bathroom stall door. Before he could ask for a condom, fully planning on sucking the man off, Blitz pushed him down onto the bed, flat on his back.

 

“Me? Look in a goddamn mirror, if you can find one at the level. Like, do you ever get to the point, or do you just like bitching? I thought you wanted to make this fast.” Blitz breathed out above him, leaning in until their noses touched. “Are we going to fuck, or what? I don’t need my knob waxed, I just need to get it in you.”

 

“Do it then,” Adam challenged him, cocky. “Pussy.”

 

“Gladly,” Blitz said with a sharp grin, holding up the blindfold.

 

 

Adam let out a moan as slicked fingers pressed into him, fucking into him. He arched upwards into the feeling as they curled inside him, expertly pushing against his prostate. It’d taken a few minutes of fumbling and Blitz trying poorly to talk dirty to him as he wrapped the blindfold around Adam’s head, but it was starting to feel good - and feeling was the only thing Adam could do right now. Adam had never felt another man do this to him, he’d never let go of control like this before. He knew what was coming next, but he didn’t know what was coming next. Every move Blitz made was out of Adam’s hands.

 

“Yeah, this is hot and all, but this is taking forever and you’re taking like four of my fucking fingers already. You’re ready, I’m ready. I’m not spending more time on this, this isn’t prom. You can take me just fine, big boy.” Blitz said flippantly, rocking his hip against Adam’s thigh, and he could feel the heat and hardness pressing against him.

 

Adam jolted as the fingers left him and he was turned over onto his stomach. Without warning, Blitz smacked his ass - hard. “Fuck, warn a guy!”

 

“Oh, you know you love it, whore.” Blitz slapped him again with a laugh, and Adam grit his teeth. Yeah, okay, it felt good, but Blitz was starting to piss him off.

 

“You know I’m not actually Stolas, right? I don’t know what weird shit agreements you fuckers have, but I’m not him.” Adam said, trying to look over his shoulder at him, but he still couldn’t see shit with the blindfold on. “And you better fucking put on a condom, I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you, which is probably into the goddamn Pacific since you’re so goddamn short.”

 

“And I’m not actually Lucifer, so why don’t you shove a sock in your fucking cake hole for Daddy?” Blitz said, and all of Adam wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up, but god, with the blindfold on, Adam only had one thing on his mind. Blitz spread him open, thumb circling his already over sensitized rim. “You want me to fuck you, or not? Stolas?

 

Adam chewed his frustration into his lip, swallowing it down and letting simple need take him.

 

“…Yes, Lucifer, please,” Adam whispered, dropping his head back down on the blankets, feeling how Blitz pulled him back, flush up against him. He could feel his cock, pressed against him, rubbing against his hole as Blitz teased his entrance.

 

“Tell me you want me, tell me you need me, tell me you’ll never leave me.” Blitz said, gripping his hips.

 

“Fuck me, Lucifer.” Adam breathed out, head low, waiting for the stretch.

 

“…A- adam?”

 

The room fell dead silent.

 

That didn’t sound like Blitz.

 

Cold washed over him, and Adam turned and shoved Blitz off and away from him with probably more strength than he needed to; sitting up and pulling his blindfold off, only for horror to fall like night. Goosebumps rose across his skin, hair standing on end - a fear he’d never known quite like this triggering a flight or fight response, but he couldn’t do either.

 

Lucifer stood in the doorway, wide eyed in shock, his room key card held in a limp hand. The door was slowly falling closed behind him. He looked absolutely stunned frozen, but apart from that, his face was totally blank. No anger, no disgust, just shock. It was as though a bomb had detonated, without leaving a trace.

 

“Ow, what the fuck?!” Blitz complained from the floor, sitting up, only to look over as Lucifer in surprise. “Jesus, you look like one of my ex’s too. Has Verosika ever invited you to a party about me? Can you get me an invite?”

 

Lucifer stayed totally frozen, eyes only on Adam. It bored into him, through his core.

 

“Hey, douchebag, you didn’t tell me you called over another guy. I’m not opposed, but a little warning first.” Blitz brushed himself off, then flashed Lucifer a flirtatious grin. “Okay, so, how do we want to do this? I’m a top, except for when money in involved, or if you’re hot enough. I will also bottom for women usually before men, because I’m a feminist. I personally am also a fan of a good old fashion spit roast, but double penetration is incredible if you get the angles right. You can probably take two, right, Adam? I mean your ass is huge enough. Have you taken two before, I bet you have.”

 

“….Blitz, holy fuck, shut the fuck up.” Adam breathed out, eyes daring to dart over to him, heart pounding in his ears. The room was slowly becoming just a mix of yellows and blues, it was like he couldn’t see shapes anymore.

“Lucifer, this isn’t- I’m not…“ he trailed off, feeling half delirious in fear. There was no way he could talk himself out of this. God, he didn’t even know what to say.

 

“Ohh, you’re Lucifer.” Blitz said, looking between the two of them, hands on his hips. “I get it now, you are cute, for an older guy. Oh well... You can go, Lucipoopsie.”

 

Lucifer turned his head very slowly to look at Blitz, reminding Adam of a predatory bird, expression unchanging. “…Excuse me?”

 

“Yeah, you heard me, you rich dick. You can go busy yourself for the next fucking hour or so, while I plow his brains out. And I’m talking real nasty shit, like nipple clamps, fists, and dicks in holes they’re not meant to be in, and Adam is going to love it – he’s going to love being my bitch. You’re just an interruption. He won’t even think about you.” Blitz said, crossing the room, walking up to Lucifer with his dick fully out.

“So, either join in, or get the fuck out.” Blitz snarled right into Lucifer’s face, full of rage and anger at a person that wasn’t truly Lucifer; Adam wasn’t sure it was at Stolas either, or some other figure that had hurt Blitz long ago.

 

“Blitz, don’t- shut up, you fucking idiot. Stop talking!“ Adam was on the verge of crying, and fuck, he hated this. He couldn’t get up off the bed either, not fully fucking naked. “Lucifer, please, just go for now, I’ll…get this sorted out in a few minutes. Okay? I promise I’ll-”

 

“Have you been having sex with him?” Lucifer said in the exact same tone as everything else he’d said. Empty, yet perfectly carved out and enunciated.

 

“See, that depends on what you count as sex.” Blitz seemed to ponder the question. “If you’re only talking penile penetration, then no, but that’s not very fair to people without dicks, right? It’s still sex with clit on clit action, isn’t it? I definitely had my fingers inside of him, I was fucking him good like that - and then there’s the phone sex we had. That was super hot.” Blitz acted out pretty much every sentence with his hands, wiggling his fingers together.

 

“Either way, I’m here to fuck him good, balls deep, big finale. I’m not about to stop just because some guy thinks he’s too good to actually love someone like us.” Blitz’ posture switched almost instantly, going from lackadaisical to ready to attack, as he hissed the words out. His focus entirely on Lucifer, but Adam could read between the lines.

 

Like a switch had been hit, Lucifer’s face turned icy. He looked angrier than Adam had ever seen him.

 

“You don’t remember me, do you, Blitzo?” Lucifer’s voice was oddly calmly, but Adam wasn’t expecting the response it got. Blitz went rigid, entirely still, a cornered dog. “I know exactly who you are. Ask yourself, how many people you know named Lucifer? Really think hard, dig deep. ”

 

Blitz’ shoulders dropped almost instantly, new fear shooting across his face. Adam had never seen him look like that, either of them.

 

“…Lucifer Morningstar? You’re… Stolas’ boss?” Blitz got out, shooting a betrayed look at Adam. How the fuck was he supposed to know Lucifer fucking knew him, or that Blitz’ fuck buddy was one of Lucifer’s employees?

 

“The one and only.” Lucifer bit out, stalking towards him, entirely unthreatened by Blitz. “I knew he was involved with you, I didn’t see why at the time and I still do not see anything worth his or anyone’s interest. Does Stolas know you’re cheating on him?” Lucifer asked in pure venom, and Adam felt something close to fear roll over him.

 

He’d never seen Lucifer like this. Not even when they were younger, and he was telling Adam off for yelling at Lilith. He thought he’d seen him angry when Michael showed up.

This was like an entirely different person.

 

“I’m not fucking- we’re not together! Stolas and I, he doesn’t want me like that-“ Blitz tried to argue, but he looked rattled, upset. It was strange to see such a confident man have all his walls ripped down, by someone Adam had thought of as essentially a pacifist.

 

Lucifer stepped forward, on the offensive, meeting him eye to eye.

 

“Get. Out.” Blitz bristled, fists balling up.

 

“I’m not your lap dog-“

 

“Now.” Lucifer said with a tone of finality, his voice deep, fury boiling through each letter.

 

Blitz looked ready to fight about it, but he glanced back at Adam and his shoulders fell. He could tell Adam didn’t want him here any longer. Blitz tucked himself back into his pants, and grabbed his bag before he pushed past Lucifer.

 

“You can keep the blindfold. And, Adam? Go fuck yourself. You deserve to be alone.” Adam wasn’t shocked Blitz lashed out at him too, but given their similarities, he knew it wasn’t just Adam that Blitz thought was meant to be alone.

 

The door fell closed, hard and final, and the room went silent again. Only the muffled sounds of other lives happening around them could be heard in the distance. It lasted for far too long, stretching into space.

 

“…Adam.” Lucifer’s voice carried through the room, and it broke him. Everything shattered in his mind. Adam bunched his hand into the blanket below him, his vision swimming in front of him. “You let me take your children out, while you had sex at the hotel? Seriously? More than that, I can’t believe you lied to me. I thought we were friends.”

 

That was it, that was all it took. Tears began to run down his face, and Adam felt sick, hunched over as his stomach began to turn. He had memories begin to play through his mind, of sobbing in his bedroom as a teenager, after masturbating thinking about a man. He remembered how hollow he felt listening to sermons, how he’d swallow down his fear at the jokes other guys made. He remembered sitting in a bathtub, drunk, alone, furious with the world after Lilith left him because she got to go find happiness. He had nothing.

 

He just wanted someone to care.

 

“It’s not like that, it wasn’t like that at all. I didn’t-“ Adam started, stuttering over his words, but he still couldn’t even look at Lucifer. He didn’t want to see Lucifer look at him like that, like this.

 

“You didn’t what? Think?”

 

Lucifer hated him.

 

He couldn’t handle this.

 

He couldn’t even handle his ambivalence, but his hate?

 

God, not again. Please not again.

 

“I guess I don’t need to tell you I’m gay now, do I?” Adam said with a hollow laugh that broke into a half-sob. His shoulders shook, and he wrapped his arms around his midsection. He was too old to feel this scared, too big to feel this vulnerability – and yet he was and he did.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, Lucifer. I just…I just can’t…I couldn’t tell you. I only wanted…someone who wanted me back. I never thought I’d get that, I never thought I’d ever…I thought I would die alone, I- fuck, I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

 

He knew he was rambling, it was hard to string the words together, because he had too many he’d never said and they were all threatening to pour out. He’d never been good with his own feelings, about talking things through, and this just made all of that worse.

 

Adam looked up through teary lashes, shoulders shaking, and found Lucifer’s expression had shifted from anger to something close to realization and horror.

 

“Don’t kick me out, let me at least find somewhere first, please.” Adam pleaded, hoping that somewhere inside him, Lucifer still thought of him as his friend.

 

“You-” Lucifer started, taking a step forward, but it was a stuttered start. He looked around the room, like he was seeing it and Adam for the first time. “Wait, I-“

 

“I’m so sorry,” Adam dropped his gaze, it hurt too much to look at him. His fingers dug into the blankets, head fallen forward and head hung low, awaiting his execution. It was as though he was standing in his father’s parlor again, promising his parents he’d be better, he’d do better. Apologizing for things they didn’t know, that he couldn’t admit to. He’d be different, if it meant they still loved him.

 

Why couldn’t he just be himself?

 

“I swear I didn’t plan for this to happen. I really was just going to nap, but my phone was right there and he had messaged me and- I’m so fucking…I’m so stupid. I won’t do it again, I promise. Please forgive me.…Lucifer, you’re my only friend. I don’t want to be alone again…God, the boys will never forgive me, I can’t…”

 

There was silence for longer than Adam felt comfortable existing in, but he wasn’t prepared for what he saw when he looked up. Lucifer’s defenses had fallen entirely, and tears were slipping down his face at a rapid pace. Wait, Adam startled, why was he crying?

 

“Oh my god… you’re me.” Lucifer whispered, voice catching the words. There was a terror in his eyes that only those who’d been in the trenches of life understood, the lines on his face dug deep in horror.

“Oh, Adam…Oh, my Adam. I’m afraid I’ve become the thing I hate the most.” Lucifer got out, walking stiffly but his speed grew faster the closer he got. Adam didn’t know what to do, what to say, only sniffing in confusion, trying to stop his own tears. What was he talking about?

 

Adam flinched as Lucifer reached the edge of the bed, fully aware he was naked still, with only a corner of a sheet covering him. It wasn’t just his bare skin, it was everything; everything Lucifer had seen, everything he’d heard. Adam was naked before him in all senses of the word.

 

Adam didn’t know what he expected Lucifer to do, he half expected to get punched, slapped; though Lucifer had never once hit him before, even at his angriest regarding Lilith. Adam jolted, body freezing up as Lucifer touched him, pulling his upper body against Lucifer’s chest. Adam stared at the wall, a shirt button against his cheek, blinking tears away, still not understanding what was happening.

 

 Why was he…hugging him?

 

“I was wrong,” Lucifer said, sounding as though it was Adam who had ripped his heart to shreds. He felt warm, and Adam thought he could hear his heart beat. “Please don’t apologize to me. Don’t say you’re sorry. Don’t…God, Adam. It’s…it’s my fault for not knocking, okay? It’s my fault for not talking to you. There’s nothing wrong with you, okay? Absolutely nothing. You’re perfect, you’re brilliant, I adore you.”

 

Adam’s heart hitched in confusion, and he peered up at Lucifer, trying to fight to urge to lean into him more. Tentatively, he reached up, fingers clinging to the fabric of Lucifer’s white shirt.

 

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that, not with something like this. I wasn’t thinking, I didn’t even register that he was a man. I know exactly how painful it is to be accidentally outted, especially like that. I’m sorry, Adam.” Lucifer pressed a kiss onto the top of his head, and Adam let out a shaky relieved breath.

 

He didn’t hate him?

 

“I’ll go, okay?” Lucifer mumbled, running fingers through Adam’s hair softly, and Adam did let himself relax into the touch. “The boys went to the hotel pool, there’s a 24/7 lifeguard on duty, I checked. But, I’ll go watch over them, and then I’ll take them to a movie. I’ll just tell them you’re still napping. You call your boyfriend back, and… em, tell Blitzo that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, to either of you. I know I don’t have all the details, for all I know he and Stolas broke up months ago…Ah, poor Stolas, he was smitten - but that’s besides the point.”

 

Adam gazed up at Lucifer, barely believing his eyes or his ears. The tears on his eyes had dried up, replaced by the fact he was so fucking confused. He’d expected to be hated, kicked out of the room, told he was an awful person; but Lucifer looked gutted. Lucifer was apologizing. Why?

 

Eventually, Adam’s mind caught up on his words.

 

“…Wait, wait, Lucifer, it’s not like that. We’re not… dating, we’re not boyfriends. Blitz was just available, and we…saw eye to eye. We talked a little bit online and I’m…I’m just fucking lonely, and he was too. It was just a…convenient thing, that’s all.” Adam got out, the weight not coming off his shoulders so much as being ripped off of them. Out of him.

 

“…How long have you…have you known you were gay very long?” Lucifer asked quietly, tentatively - though if Adam thought right, he seemed relieved too.

 

“…I mean, I was in love with you in high school, for years, into college. I knew it then, but I didn’t want to be gay, Lucifer. I was scared, my parents they... God, I prayed every night to not be gay. Every night, I begged God to let me just grow out of it, to be normal.” Adam admitted to him, a voice inside him yelling finally.

 

Lucifer sucked in a breath, like he’d gotten the air knocked out of his lungs. He wasn’t stupid enough to not understand the implications, why Adam was forced into his marriage with Lilith. Maybe he was starting to realize why he was such a miserable bastard for years.

 

“…I didn’t I guess officially come out until Christmas, last year. Lilith knows, the boys know now. I was just scared to tell… you, I didn’t know if you’d…You and I have such a fucking mixed bag history, I had no idea how you’d react, and I was scared.”

 

Lucifer had a look of dawning realization – why Adam and Lilith suddenly got along better now, why Cain had become more accepting of his father in recent months.

 

“Adam…” Lucifer knelt on the edge of the bed, shifting his hug to drag his hands down Adam’s arms, looking incredibly uncertain, all poison and ice gone from his eyes.

“…I have to ask this, but you don’t have to answer, and you can laugh in my face if you want. But, I have to ask.” Lucifer breathed out, like he was preparing himself for what was to come. “Are you still in love with me now?”

 

This was it, this was the end. Of everything.

 

“…Yes.”

 

There would be no more vacations together, no more silly pictures, no singing in the car together, no Lucifer showing up at his door in the morning, no more breakfasts together-

 

Adam felt himself getting shoved back so hard he thought he had been struck for a brief moment, but he opened his teary eyes to find Lucifer over him, hair falling askew onto his forehead. Lucifer’s tears were dripping down onto Adam’s cheek, but he was smiling widely, relief painted so clearly across his features, it made him look young again.

 

“I’m so fucking stupid,” Lucifer said with a laugh before kissing him deeply. Adam startled, before melting into it instantly, wrapping his arms around Lucifer’s neck. He sighed happily into the kiss, fingers digging into Lucifer’s hair. Lucifer kissed him again, and again, soft and sweet, to hard and forceful, a million emotions overflowing.

 

“Adam, you are my maybe. You were the possibility that I hoped for, that I wanted so desperately, but one that I thought I’d never have. I am so I’m love with you, you have no idea…god, seeing you two like that. I was so jealous, so furious that he was touching you and I wasn’t.” Lucifer breathed against his lips, nipping at the thin skin there, and Adam tried not to moan from the sharp pain it brought, threatening to bleed.

“Did he fuck you or not? I couldn’t tell from the nonsense he was spouting.”

 

“No, not really.” Adam mumbled into the kiss, not wanting him to stop. Lucifer met him, tongues twisting together. Unlike Blitz, Lucifer was very talented with his tongue. Need built in him, and Adam moaned, arching up against him. “Lucifer…”

 

But Lucifer pulled away, looking down to meet his eyes, but he kept a hand on the side of Adam’s face, thumb caressing the stubble on his cheek.

“Adam, do you remember that Christmas card you sent me? After Eve divorced me? That, ‘told you so, card?”

 

Adam blinked, eyebrows knitting together. His braincells were entirely fried, he just wanted to kiss Lucifer until they regrew, not talk about old shit. “Yeah? What about it?”

 

“I think that was the first time I realized I liked you, when I first felt that spark - but I didn’t want to admit it, and I was so recently divorced and second guessing everything I knew. I was scared too. Then, we got closer, and…I offered you live with me because I wanted you closer to me. I was terrified I’d lose you. I wanted you by me, you know…forever.” Lucifer admitted sheepishly, and Adam was blindsided by the reveal. He’d had feelings for him that long?

 

“Are you gay? Was that… why you were disowned?” Adam asked, propping himself up on his elbows, heart skipping a beat, what were the chances? God, he’d hate Lucifer’s family even more than he did already if that were the case.

 

“Bingo. I was caught having sex with Frederick, when we were dating. I’m bisexual, though, not only attracted to men.” Lucifer said, a sad smile creasing over his face.

 

“I never really liked talking about it, Lilith and Eve knew, because we were married. You know, oddly enough, between the two of them, when I first told them, Lilith reacted worse – but she was still in denial over her own sexuality, and she was very off-put by the idea of me having slept with men. She got over it eventually, said it helped her realize things about herself. But, Eve, for all of her many many faults, never cared even a little about my history.” Lucifer told him, and on some level Adam wasn’t surprised by that fact. Eve would have seen it as a personal win, the guy attracted to men and women choose her.

 

“Generally, I do prefer women, but I’m so I’m love with you. I fell head over heels. I never wanted to hurt you.” Adam got the picture. Lucifer didn’t want to hurt anyone, that was fine - he was so overwhelmingly happy, he just needed Lucifer to keep kissing him and talk less. He leaned up, kissing along the side of Lucifer’s jaw. “God, Adam… I'm so sorry for how I reacted. I felt like I was the one kicking myself out, calling me horrible names, all the while I apologized, begging them to not abandon me. I never wanted to make you feel like that, I never wanted anyone to feel like that.”

 

Adam paused, he swallowed hard, nodding his head. He cupped Lucifer’s face, and kissed him again, trying to tell him it was alright, that he understood. Lucifer took his hand in his, bringing it to his lips and pressing them against Adam’s knuckles. Lucifer wastouching Adam, like he was afraid he’d vanish if he did.

 

“But…you still don’t want me having sex with Blitz, right?” Adam asked quietly, trying to get him to smile.

 

Lucifer’s widened, before he laughed, dropping his head into the crook of Adam’s neck. He nipped the skin there, and Adam exposed his throat to him, allowing him to bite over his Adam’s apple. He sucked on a spot, running his tongue over it until he bit into it, and Adam welcomed the mark he’d leave.

 

“I…kind of hate him actually, and I’m over the moon about you. So, yeah, no. Please no more Blitzo.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about you and Frederick?” Adam asked quietly, looking up at the ceiling, arms wrapped securely around Lucifer’s back. Lucifer exhaled, taking a moment before he spoke.

 

“…I thought destroyed his life, Adam, and I could see how obsessed over you I was becoming; possessive even. I thought I had to get over you, for your sake. I thought you were straight and I’d just…ruin your life by cutting you off from opportunities to meet people. I thought I hurt you…god, you have scars because of me.” His fingers ran down Adam’s arms, no doubt thinking of Adam’s stitches.

 

“Not from you, idiot. Don’t blame yourself for shit you didn’t do. Your brother is a dick and I have a short fuse, that’s not your fault.” Adam mumbled, nuzzling his nose into the side of Lucifer’s head, trying to reassure him. “…But I don’t mind if you do scar me.”

 

Lucifer pushed up onto his hands, Adam’s head framed between his arms, looking up into his eyes. There was new need in his eyes, besides the emotional. “I… want you so badly.”

 

“I love you, Lucifer.” Adam breathed out, feeling so strange saying it. He’d been terrified for those words to leave his lips, and yet he was saying them with a smile on his face. He was too old for these kinds of butterflies.

“…I’m, uh… a bottom, is that- I know I’m weird, I can switch if you want, but I-“

Lucifer caressed his face, so soft, so sweet, pressing a thumb against Adam’s lips. "I love you so much. You’re perfect, I told you. There’s nothing weird about you.” Adam knew that was either proof Lucifer was head over heels for him, or insane, because he was definitely weird.

 

“I’m actually a strict top, and not always a very nice one.” Lucifer whispered out, and Adam’s cock responded by jumping slightly, filling out slowly once more.

 

“…We’re so fucked up, we’re not anything we’re supposed to be, huh?” Adam said with a breathy laugh, reaching up to pull him back in for a kiss. God, what were the chances?

 

“Says who?” Lucifer asked, pressing their foreheads together. “I think we’re exactly who we’re supposed to be - made for each other.”

 

Adam smiled against him, feeling his body relax. Maybe they were, it’d just taken them a lot of starts and stops on a very long road. “Lucifer, I can’t handle all the cute stuff, my brain will explode, and I don’t want to cry again.”

 

“I want to…taste you, worship you, feel you, devour you…”

 

Lucifer ran a hand down Adam’s side slowly, across his bare skin, feeling goosebumps rise under his finger tips. He reached Adam’s hips, and pressed his fingers into the skin there, under the curve. Lucifer eventually sat up onto his knees, between Adam’s thighs, pushing them wider open so he could look at his body fully. Comparing their frames was nearly laughable, Adam’s thigh was nearly as wide as Lucifer’s waist, and it was hard to not feel self conscious in front of him like this.

 

“Too bad we didn’t do this when I was younger and in shape. Uh, do you want me to shave more in the future? I know I’m super hairy.” Adam asked, face heating up. He watched as Lucifer slowly undid the buttons of his shirt, exposing his own chest.

 

“I love your shape? You are ridiculously sexy. And, no, please don’t shave. I love that too.” Lucifer responded with a small smile, shrugging out of his white shirt until Adam could see his own dusting of pale chest hair. “Though, the idea of fucking you over my desk while I “tutor” you is appealing, but we can still make that happen.”

 

His hands continued to explore Adam’s skin, they moved across Adam’s pecs, moving through his chest hair and massaging into the fat and muscle there. His fingers brushed over his nipples, gently at first, like he’d not even meant to – then, the touch grew more focused, rubbing against quickly hardening points. Yet all too soon, Lucifer dragged his fingers down, down the line of hair on Adam’s stomach, down past his belly button and towards his cock where the hair grew thicker. Adam had gone from being fairly hairless as a teen, to having hair basically from his chin down to his toes, which was supposed to be a sign of his masculinity, but he’d never known how to feel about it until now – Lucifer looked at him like he could drink him in, and Adam wanted him to.

 

“You’ve been with a man before, right? I know you’ve been going on dates more recently.” Lucifer asked, and Adam hesitated to answer.

 

“Yeah, I have. None of the dates worked out though.” He said, not wanting to get into details, but Lucifer just nodded, judgement on his face gone – it seemed like the only time he had an issue with the idea, was when it involved Blitz.

 

“I’ve slept with only a handful of men over the years,” Lucifer said casually as he undid his pants, revealing black briefs with a name scribed on the elastic that Adam was fairly certain said Armani. “I tried switching at first before Lilith, you know. Because I was short, cute, guys wanted me to be a certain way. It didn’t really do anything for me, and I realized I very much preferred topping. Physically, mentally, but very much physically.”

 

Adam realized they’d had similar experiences, just in reverse. Always feeling they had to be some kind of way to match the perception others had of them. But more than that, something in him felt slightly sick of the though of the Lucifer he’d known in high school being pressured into sex he didn’t like, just because he was short. Adam would have bashed their heads in, had he known.

 

“I’ve been blessed, you know.” Lucifer said with a slightly cheeky smile, and from the tent in his briefs, Adam thought that was a fair assessment. “Though you certainly have been as well, look at you…”

 

Lucifer’s hand wasted no time in wrapping around Adam’s cock, pumping it lightly in hand. Adam bit his lip, rocking his hips up into Lucifer’s touch. The way his hand looked around him, such pale skin against the flushed skin of his cock. His hands were as masculine as they were delicate, long fingers, but prominent veins under his skin looked even stronger as they gripped him. Adam had dreamt of this.

 

“I’ve been dreaming about this, you know…” Lucifer told him, reading his mind. “Touching you, watching you come undone, fucking you. Are you loud, Adam? You have such a nice voice, but I want to hear you scream.”

 

“We’re in a hotel, Lucifer…I don’t want to get kicked out, how would we explain that to the kids?” Adam mumbled, but he couldn’t stop watching how skilled fingers moved over him, rubbing over his oversensitive head that began to weep onto Lucifer. “You’re going to have to keep me quiet.”

 

Lucifer’s eyes fluttered to half closed, and he licked his lips in a quick dart, looking nearly reptilian. He moved one hand, pulling himself out and free, and even at only half erect, Adam could see Eve hadn’t lied about Lucifer being big, probably bigger than him.

 

“Jesus, where’d you keep your third leg, do you get lightheaded when you’re hard?” Adam told him with a small grin, but in his mind, he was picturing it in his mouth, in between his thighs, inside him – fuck, he wanted it in him. “Do you want me on my knees, would that be easier?”

 

“I want to look at your face.” Lucifer said lowly, taking his hand further down, across his balls, until he reached his ass. “I’m going to make you forget he ever touched you. He fucked you with his fingers, didn’t he? Did you like it?”

 

Adam had already forgotten, his thoughts only on Lucifer. “Lucifer…”

 

“Adam,” Lucifer said back to him, cheeky. He brought his free hand up, licking between his fingers in a V, before bringing them together and sucking on them, sending a spike of arousal through Adam. “Tell me what he did to you, so I can do it better.”

 

“Fuck, if you were going to do that, I should have lied and told you he fucked me.” Lucifer didn’t look as amused by that comment, as he used wetted fingertips to rub against Adam, circling him, spreading him lightly at first. They slowly thrust into him, curling upwards, making Adam moan arching up and following the movement.

 

“You said my name with him, didn’t you? I heard you say it.” Lucifer asked, voice dropping it’s cheery tone. “Did you pretend he was me?”

 

Adam had to bring his hand up to his mouth, because Lucifer added another finger, changing the angle slightly. Fuck that felt good.

 

“I…fuck, yeah, and he called me Stolas. On…On the phone, in your house, I called him Lucifer, as I fucked myself.” Adam admitted, spreading his legs wider for Lucifer, stomach muscles tensing up, even if you couldn’t see it under his belly.

 

“With what? What did you use? Your fingers? Did you fuck yourself like this?” Lucifer asked, picking up the pace that he fucked Adam with, but Adam shook his head, toes flexing as Lucifer thrust in and out again.

 

“Nah, it’s uh, harder for me to reach. I have- fuck, toys…” Adam mumbled, feeling embarrassed for some reason. Lucifer paused for a moment, looking up at him with a burning look. “I rode it, talking to him, calling your name, begging you to come fuck me-“

 

Lucifer pushed himself forward, kissing Adam, but it felt hungrier. He bit Adam’s lip until it threatened to split once more, before deepening the kiss, until Adam felt lightheaded and his lips were swollen. His cock was hard against his stomach, trapped between them. Adam tried not to whine in the back of his throat, but it felt like he’d been waiting a lifetime for this moment. To have what he wanted, to be wanted as he wanted – to have Lucifer.

 

“Please, I need you.” Adam said lowly in his throat, feeling emotions building up in him again. It wasn’t just getting fucked; he’d have been happy with Blitz, he was sure they would have had perfectly good sex. This was more than that, this was all of their history, their pain, their sorrow between one another and their intertwined fates. It was taking the dirt they’d both crawled out from and making something new out of it.

 

Adam had a brief memory flash through his mind of grinning over at Lucifer in his dorm room, wishing the night could last forever.

Maybe this time it would.

 

Adam knew he wasn’t a soft man (except through his midsection), he wasn’t sweet, he wasn’t good with the touchy feely, but…he smiled up at Lucifer, feeling lighter than air.

 

“I know you probably want to take your time, be romantic and all that, but I’m…I’m hoping we can take our time from here on out? I want everything with you, I want dates and work nights, I want sleepy mornings, I want to keep making you coffee. But right now…” Adam asked, a hint of nerves in his voice. “I just want you.”

 

Lucifer met his eyes, blinking back what looked like a hint of tears still clinging to his pale lashes as he laughed in relief and nodded.

 

“I love you,” Lucifer whispered before he took little time positioning himself. He ran his fingers through Adam’s hair, their lips just a breath apart, as he held himself and pushed inside Adam.

 

“Lucif-“ Adam got out, not sure if he was arching into it or away from the feeling. It wasn’t significantly different than a dildo, yet at the same time it burned through him, and not just because Lucifer was large. Though, that was a factor. “Fucking hell, I know I have a big ass, but you’re huge.” Adam panted, and Lucifer just laughed breathlessly, leaning down to kiss along Adam’s neck.

 

“The only good thing I got from my genes.” Lucifer mused, but Adam disagreed. He thought Lucifer was handsome, talented, and cute as shit.

 

It didn't take long until he’d bottomed out inside Adam, and Adam was left with his fingers dug into the blankets and one into Lucifer’s back. His breathing was coming in short bursts, soft pants as he adjusted to him. He pulled one leg up, just trying to get used to the feeling, and Lucifer curled an arm under his thigh.

 

“God, I love your legs. That was the first thing about you that drove me mad.” Lucifer said, voice thick with want as he rocked his hips back and forward again. “They’re so strong, and long, I just-“ Lucifer’s grip tightened on his thigh, but Adam was barely noticing it.

 

“Fuck me, Lucifer.” Adam leaned up on an elbow, reaching between them to stroke his cock, quickly distracting the other man. He stared with rapt attention at Adam, before he seemed to snap out of it, gaze turning sharp.

 

“I’m not going to just fuck you, I’m going to ruin you, breed you. You know it won’t just be today, tomorrow, the next and the next. When we get home, I’m going to pull you away every chance we have together, to keep you mine.” Lucifer whisper under his breath, and Adam whined his name, cock leaking against his hand. “I can’t wait to see you leaking, with your mouth stuffed full of me, choking on it-“

 

“Please,” Adam rasped out. “Use me.”

 

“You’re perfect,” Lucifer caught his lips again, but broke apart quickly so he could pick up the pace. The bed was rocking, and Adam let go of himself as the sensation got too intense. He was practically ripping the mattress apart the way he was gripping it, but that was the furthest thing from his mind. “I’m close, Lucifer, please, I’m- I need more, fuck me more, fill me-“

 

Lucifer made a noise before he wrapped his arms under Adam’s back, hugging him as tightly as he could given their size differences. Adam’s back arched up off the bed as Lucifer slammed into him. Each thrust hard, wet sounding, on the verge of agony and ecstasy. He dropped his forehead down onto Adam’s chest, breathing hard, before he found a nipple, and licked around it and pulled out between his teeth. Adam winced at the teasing, but it didn’t diminish his arousal any.

 

“You’re moving into my room, I need you every chance I get.” Lucifer breathed out hot against his skin.

 

“I think people might notice we’re fucking if I do that.” Adam got out, saying it in good humor, but the way Lucifer looked up at him made his heart thump.

 

“Is that bad?” Lucifer asked, pace slowing down, and Adam immediately shook his head.

 

“No, never.” Adam smiled, feeling a weight vanishing from his shoulders and his heart. Lucifer sat up some, moving his hands from Adam’s back to his hips again, squeezing into the skin.

 

“You feel incredible,” Lucifer told him, his thrusts coming slower, longer, but just as deep. Adam could feel it all the more, making a noise in the back of his throat. The angle had shifted, and Lucifer was constantly pressed against his prostate. His muscles burned, he was tensing and straining without even noticing. Lucifer just wasn’t letting up at all, he was so fucking full.

 

“Who are you thinking about?” Lucifer asked, eyes sharp.

 

“You, Lucifer. Only ever you.” Adam moaned, rocking his hips to meet Lucifer.

 

“That’s my good boy,” Lucifer said, and it nearly sent Adam over the edge. Fuck, why was that such a turn on for him? “It hurts me to think that you went so long without getting fucked the way you wanted, the way you needed. But, I’m here now.”

 

He had no idea how right he was.

 

“Lucifer, I-“ Adam cursed as Lucifer pushed his thighs up, as far as they would go, until one was over Lucifer’s shoulder. He was reasonably flexible, but pushing them up against his stomach was a lot, plus he felt so fucking exposed – but somehow it felt like Lucifer was hitting him even deeper inside. His mind was buzzing, he knew sweat was beading up on his brow, his cock was drooling without being touched, and all of his thoughts were on Lucifer.

 

“Ah…ah…fuck, it’s so good, Lucifer, please.” Moans escaped his lips with every thrust, and Adam was quickly losing control, just whining a mantra of Lucifer’s name as he fucked him. It was all quickly building up in him, and he quickly tried to pull in Lucifer as his orgasm took him, cock jumping between them as he came, splattering his stomach. Lucifer was happy to fuck him through it as they kissed, before he groaned, hips stuttering to a close as he came. After a minute of heavy breathing, Lucifer slowly pulled out, and moved up so he could properly flop down on him, face to face, smiling at him with the utmost love and affection.

 

He caressed the side of Adam’s face, and Adam wrapped his arms around his back, laughing softly. “That was so good. Better than good. Fuck, I feel amazing. My brain feels like cotton…”

 

“Mm, I’m glad. Me too.” Lucifer purred, though he was starting to sound a bit tired. So was Adam, truth be told. He was exhausted, emotional and physical release was a bitch, but he was happy.

 

“You want to nap, then I can ride you or you could fuck me in the shower?” Adam asked, and Lucifer nodded repeatedly, looking very eager.

 

“God yes,” Lucifer said, but his eyes were already starting to drift close. Adam smiled at him, pecking his forehead, and watching him begin to fall asleep. He supposed he had gotten Lucifer up pretty early today, and then with everything that had happened.

 

Adam began to drift off himself, arms still twined around Lucifer, slipping into sleep a few times - before a thought occurred to him.

 

Adam jolted upright, startling Lucifer awake. “Fuck, I’m going to go check on the kids. I’ll be right back.”

 

“Do you want me to go?” Lucifer asked, brows furrowing. “It’s not been a full hour yet, they should still be okay, but I can go make sure.”

 

“No, no, it’s okay. They're my goblins.” Adam said, sitting up and swinging his legs off the bed. “Get some rest, I’m tiring you out again tonight.”

 

Lucifer rolled onto his back, gazing up at him lovingly. “Please do. Can you walk alright?”

 

“I better…”

 

Adam stood, and his legs felt a little heavy, a bit shaky, but nothing too bad. He grabbed up his clothes, before he felt a pinch on his ass. He looked over his shoulder, expecting to see fingers, but Lucifer was just pulling away, looking mischievous.

“Wanted to do that for a long time.”

 

“…You just bit my ass?” Adam stared at him, trying not to laugh. “You’re so weird.”

 

“If you could see your ass the way I do, you’d bite it too.” Lucifer said, eyes dropping closed again. Adam smiled, before he grabbed his clothes and tugged them up and on. It was a bit strange to think that he’d taken them off for Blitz, when Lucifer was the one in his bed now – but then again, he only wanted Blitz because he’d wanted Lucifer.

 

Adam closed the door and leaned against it, looking up at the ceiling with probably a dumb smile on his face. He was about to walk down to the pool area, when he noticed two familiar faces coming down the hall. Adam perked up, seeing the boys, who noticed him fairly quickly. It looked like they’d been bickering, but what else was new. He didn’t love that they were plodding down a carpeted hallway, still soaking wet from the pool, leaving dark little foot steps the entire length of the hall.

 

“Hey, I was about to come check on you. How was the pool? You two okay?” Adam asked, and Abel shot a tell tale look at Cain.

 

“The lifeguard said Cain was mean and got us kicked out.” Abel complained, towel under his arm. Cain just rolled his eyes, flicking wet hair out of his face.

 

“This girl showed up in a bikini and distracted him, he wasn’t paying attention to anyone in the water anymore. So, I told him he had a better chance with the pool skimmer than with her.” Cain explained, looking pleased with himself, and Adam felt anger beginning to build in him.

 

“He wasn’t watching you at all?” Adam asked, and Cain nodded, Abel only doing so reluctantly. “I’ll keep that in mind when it comes time for the bill.” Adam said with a huff, but noticed quickly that both boys were looking at him peculiarly.

 

“…What? Something wrong?”

 

“Lucifer in your room?” Cain asked curiously, but it was like he was trying to sound nonchalant. Adam frowned.

 

“Yeah, he’s taking a nap. Why? You need to ask him something” Adam asked, not liking his tone. What was he getting at? Come to think of it, why had Lucifer shown up again so early in the first place? Why had the returned to the hotel?

 

“No reason, just checking. Have a good nap?” Cain asked innocently enough, and Adam made a noise.

 

“I have no idea what you’re up to but I don’t like it.”

 

“I’m not up to anything, I’m the good son.” Cain said; Abel and Adam both snorted.

 

“You two go to your room, wash the chlorine out of your hair, hang up your bathing suits, get dressed, and we can go out for dinner later. Okay?” Adam asked and the boys nodded, Abel with room key card in hand. “Good. See you in like, an hour? Tell me or Lucifer if you go anywhere, even just to get ice.”

 

They rolled their eyes like teens do, and made their way into their room, but at the last moment, Cain looked back at him.

 

“You and Lucifer, you’re…not mad at each other?”

 

Adam raised an eyebrow, “no?”

Very much the opposite. 

 

Cain nodded to himself, before going into his room and letting the door fall closed with little explanation.

 

“I’m going to age ten years by the time they’re 15,” Adam mumbled to himself before going back into his own room. He found Lucifer half standing, one leg in his slacks, looking up at him with big confused eyes.

 

“I felt bad I left you to the check the kids, so I was going to come down too.” Lucifer explained sheepishly.

 

“They were just coming back to the room, no worries.” Adam said with a shrug, and a silence fell between them. “…You didn’t use a condom, did you?”

 

Lucifer flushed, “I guess not. I…didn’t think about it.”

 

“I can tell, you’re leaking out of me.” Adam said quietly, definitely not wanting anyone to hear. He could practically see Lucifer’s eyes dilate as he spoke. “…Get the fuck out of your clothes, come fuck me in the shower before I carry you in myself."

 

Lucifer tugged everything off, practically tripping over his own clothes. “I love you so much, holy fuck.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes:

I might need to edit this further in a few hours but I'm trying to get this up on my lunch break.

2 chapters left