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“How much longer?” Percy asks.
Hermes is about to deliver a witty comment that would cease Percy’s incessant whining when he spots trouble in the horizon.
“Get out.” Hermes says.
“We're going at 200 miles per hour on the highway in the middle of nowhere!” Percy says, incredulous.
“Ready?” Hermes asks. Really, he’d love to explain the situation to Percy - communication is his domain after all - but there isn’t time.
“What - you're serious?”
Hermes pushes the eject passenger button, and the seat launches Percy into the air. Hermes watches in the rearview mirror as the demigod rolls to a stop, profanities alongside Hermes’ name coating Percy's lips. Other than some light scrapes and bruises, Percy is fine. Hermes has watched the son of Poseidon fall hundreds of feet onto solid ground and walk it off. Compared to that, this is nothing.
Hermes shoves his foot down on the gas pedal, until the bottom is touching the bottom of the car. He leans over to the screen in the center of the car, types in his override code to self-destruct, grabs his phone and presses the eject driver button.
A moment later, he lands easily on the road without scuffing his hands or clothes and raises his head to see his car slam into the large sleeping drakon that had camouflaged itself with the horizon. The explosion sends a shockwave through the air, green fire and gas billowing up into the air like a nuclear explosion.
A few hundred meters behind him, Percy finally stops cursing his name and stares at the wreckage. The massive drakon, at least three hundred meters, had mostly evaporated in the blast; only parts of the horns, claws and wings remain.
Eventually, Percy crosses the distance between them and joins Hermes where he’s standing, silently mourning the loss of his car. He doesn’t regret it and he literally has hundreds more - but no two cars of his has the exact same features.
“You couldn’t have given me a heads up?” Percy grumbles, and Hermes sighs. Ungrateful demigods. Even in his head, the words sound fond.
“I didn’t exactly have time.” Hermes replies.
“Couldn’t you have smited the drakon instead of destroying your car?” Percy asks. “It was a really nice car.”
Of course the demigod would think so. Hermes is pretty sure that this is the first time he’s ridden in a luxury sports car - the type where the doors swing upwards and there’s only two seats. Still - Hermes has fancier, more expensive cars.
“You know my father’s conditions for us hanging out. I can’t do anything a demigod child of mine can’t. My kids can’t smite anything - but they do excel at explosions.” Hermes reminds him. “Anyways, we’d better start walking. The nearest city is four hours away.”
“You’re joking.”
“Nope!” Hermes says, and fuck if he isn’t enjoying Percy’s annoyance. “It’s been awhile since I took a hike through the desert.”
Percy groans, and Hermes laughs. He’s glad he agreed to this road trip.