Archive of Our Own ^beta

r/Relationships
u/elpaso-dad • 40d

My (M30) best friend (M27) came out as bi, and I think I’m homophobic. HELP

Let me preface this by saying I don't think of myself as bigoted. I grew up in a Catholic-Mexican household in Texas, so the opportunities were there, but any toxic beliefs I may have picked up at school or church were tossed away as I got older and began to meet more people. I had a gay friend in the army. We went through hell and back together. One of my best friends is a lesbian. I love her and her wife. I have another friend who is gay and one who is lesbian, and can’t imagine my life without them.

So. My friend. We’ll call him B. B has been my best friend since I joined my newest job in 2018. I want to talk about him for a second because I need to give you guys context for how strange my new feelings are.

I made the move across country with my son (“C”) when he was 8, about 6 years ago. In all honesty, I moved in the hopes of getting back together with my ex-wife and we almost made it work before we ultimately didn’t. C has CP and I don’t need to explain how that can add complications when it comes to finding a new school and making accommodations.

When I told B about my difficulties with getting care for C, he stepped up?? It was really strange, because we haven’t known each other for very long, but he talked to our boss for me so I could bring C to work and THEN he found the most perfect caretaker ever for C? She’s the sweetest, kindest woman and I feel that C is so safe with her. I wouldn’t have found her without B.

B is “Uncle B” to C. C LOVES him. They have a really strong relationship, and they’ve been through a lot together. There have been times when C has run away to B’s house when he needed support. B comes whenever C, or even me, calls him. He takes C to the zoo and aquarium, he brings C to his house to play video games, they play practical jokes on me, and he’s the second emergency contact for C’s school and doctor.

A few years ago, I added B to my will. If I die (our line of work is dangerous) C is under B’s care. I told him and he accepted (I knew he would) and I swear that moment is the most peaceful I have felt in YEARS. That’s how good of a friend B is. I trust him with my life, I trust him with my son’s life, I trust him with everything.

And he’s not a hardass, or serious at all (that’s kind of my job). He’s goofy, and sweet, and he wears his heart on his sleeve in a way I didn’t know was possible for men to do. He has shown me that it’s possible to be open and emotional and loving and still be respected. He jumps headfirst into danger, always thinking about others first. He would die for a total stranger, and he almost has many times. He makes my heart stop almost every day on the job, but I feel okay because I know he always pulls through. He’s a beast. He once chased down a car riding a BICYCLE. He’s crazy but somehow his plans always work. I don’t know how to describe him. You’d have to meet him.

He’s the only one who knows the details of my ptsd from the military. I had a manic episode once and C called him. He was able to break down my door and comfort me. He came over later and helped me patch up my walls. My bedroom looks good as new now. He made a smiley face using spackle and I swear I can still see it through the paint sometimes. Knowing he was there for me, AND that C knew he would come when called… there’s just something about him that makes me feel so safe. It’s like in the military, when you have those brothers-in-arms that you know would die for you, would stay on guard for you, that’s B to me.

He’s the bestest friend I could ever ask for. I’m trying to find a new mom for C, right? And B is always there to talk to me about my girlfriends, and tell me what C says about them to B, etc. He’s been my go-to for dating advice and he’s almost always right. He babysits C on date nights and we always have a beer when I come back and we just talk about our separate nights. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I look forward to dates sometimes just to get back home to B.

So reading this, you can see how much I love B. He’s my best friend. My brother.

This is why I’m struggling.

So an old friend of my work (M28) visited us to help us with a job. We’ll call him T. T was in the military too and we got along pretty well because he’d play basketball with me after work (B always declines. He hates basketball.) and we could just go out and be guys and have a good time. Hanging out with T felt more casual than B for some reason. More bro-ish, if that makes sense. IDK. Anyways, I sort of hung out with T without B a few too many times and he seemed to get jealous. I thought it was because he missed me but later I found out that he and T kissed and then went on a date.

Like me and my girlfriend literally SAW T and B on a date and B told me they weren’t dating before later he admitted that they were, and that T is his boyfriend now. He asked if I was okay with that and OFC I said I was, because what kind of friend would I be if I said I wasn’t? And I DON’T have a problem with gay people, or bi people, or anything, but…

I don’t know. I find myself getting upset at B more. Like, if he brings up T at work, I get annoyed. And I never hang out with T anymore because looking at him, knowing he’s kissed B feels weird. I KNOW how homophobic that sounds. I feel like maybe I’m a terrible friend. Because, you know, I’ve been battling my Catholic guilt a lot lately, and maybe that also brought forth old Catholic homophobia? Like maybe I just repressed it and now it’s all coming out again?

I need help because B is starting to catch on that I hate talking about his boyfriend, and if he asks me outright, I don’t think I’ll know what to say.

TLDR; My best friend came out as bi and has a boyfriend, and now I can’t stand to talk to him or his boyfriend. How do I stop being homophobic?

COMMENTS:

u/reddituserone:
repressed homophobia gotta be a new one
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
what do u mean?

u/redditusertwo:
so ur lesbian friend and her wife don’t make you uncomfortable the same way B and T do? Why do you think that is?
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
No, I’m completely fine with them, which makes me think maybe I’m just another straight guy who fetishizes wlw relationships. I have another lesbian friend I do Muay Thai with and she told me all about how men sexualize lesbians even if they’re homophobic
↳ u/redditusertwo replied:
Well are you thinking about them sexually?
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
No I think that would be weird.
↳ u/redditusertwo replied:
interesting

u/reddituserthree:
are you sure you’re not just jealous?
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
I mean, that could definitely be part of it. I recently broke up with my gf. I’m lonely but I’m always lonely, even if I have a gf, so I don’t know why B having a boyfriend would affect that. B has had girlfriends before and it never bothered me the way this has.

u/reddituserfour:
Is T good to B? Maybe you’re mad because you want a better partner for him?
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
I literally don’t know because I refuse to talk to him about T. I can’t. I feel sick when he smiles at his phone now because I know he’s texting T. I’m a terrible friend, I know.

r/Firefighters-Legal
u/bobbynash118• 38d

Is it ethical to force two of my men in an elevator or closet or something until they finally confess to each other?

[no text]

COMMENTS:

u/reddituserfive:
it’s not NOT ethical but maybe you could sit down and talk to them separately if you’re someone they can both trust
↳ u/bobbynash118 replied:
i would rather lock them in an elevator

u/redditusersix:
dude you're doxxing yourself in your username
↳ u/bobbynash118 replied:
what is doxxing?

u/reddituserseven:
i think I’ve seen your username over in r/kinkstersover50
↳ u/bobbynash118 replied:
my wife made me join because some of her ideas make me nervous and I need people to talk to about it.
↳ u/reddituserseven replied:
too much info king
↳ u/bobbynash118 replied:
you literally brought it up

r/bisexuality
u/fireHOSE • 35d

My best friend has been pulling away from me since I came out as bi. How do I get us back to normal?

Hi. I (M27) told my best friend “Ed” (M30) that I was bisexual and that I’m now dating our mutual friend “Timmy”. Now he hardly talks to me.

It’s really weird because we’re around a lot of gay people?? We live in LA and some of our closest friends are a lesbian couple, his best friend is a lesbian he rock climbs with on the weekends, and we’re both friends with a gay guy my sister works with. The job we work introduces us to a lot of new people and like half of them are part of the lgbt community, and Ed has NEVER made a single comment or anything that made him seem like he was homophobic.

Ed has a son that I love with all of my heart. I take him to the zoo, and we play video games, and I babysit him when Ed is on dates. We’ve really bonded over the years and I feel like he’s my nephew or even my son sometimes. I’m literally his legal guardian if anything happens to his dad. I guess now I’m scared he might change his mind? Like maybe he’ll tell me to stop being around his son? That’s my biggest fear, but I’m also just really scared of losing him as a best friend.

I’ve never been as close to anyone as I am to him. We’re kinda opposites (he’s kinda grumpy and i’m more laidback) but we balance each other out really well. He’s got the tough love and I wear my heart on my sleeve and it WORKS because we make up what each other lack. When I'm with him and his son, I feel like I have a purpose. I’d go wherever he went, I think. If he transferred today, I’d follow him. I would have to.

I’ve visited his family before. They’re pretty difficult, and it’s hard for Ed to be around them, but he still brought me and another coworker to eat with them once when we visited his hometown. It was nice to see his baby pictures and his childhood bedroom. I think we only stayed for a few hours but I wished I could spend a week there, learning more about how he grew up.

He always calls me when he needs something fixed. I’ve helped him redo his bedroom and I built his son a skateboard that accommodated his disabilities. But I fix the emotional things, too. I'm always the middleman when he and his son have a fight. They both listen to me more than they listen to each other. It’s because they’re both so stubborn. I love them more than anything.

So I’m just. I'm scared, I guess. Timmy says I’m overreacting and that it always takes straight people awhile to come around, but I think it’s something else. Ed will ask our lesbian friend about her wife and he’ll smile and laugh, and he’ll go to lunch with our gay friend like it’s the most casual thing in the world but with me? He always ignores when I bring up Timmy, and I know he likes Timmy because they used to play basketball and stuff together.

I still hang out with Ed and his son, but if I bring up Timmy, Ed kind of… shuts down. I don’t know. It’s breaking my heart because I just want everything back to normal. Timmy says I should just stop being friends with him but that would be like cutting off my own arm, I think. There’s no way I could do it.

TLDR; How do I ask my friend if he has a problem with me being bi?

COMMENTS:

u/redditusereight:
the fact that I saw the opposite pov last week is crazy
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
what opposite pov????
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
link???????
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
hello????

u/redditusernine:
kind of rude of Timmy to suggest just giving up on Ed like that. I’m assuming he knows all you guys have been through
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
well, not all of it because he’s a bit. idk he doesn’t really listen that much. but it’s because he has a lot on his plate, so I don’t blame him. He just wants what’s best for me
↳ u/redditusernine replied:
doesn’t sound very healthy to me
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
what do u mean?

u/reddituserten:
you have custody of his kid??????
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
only if he dies, which he WON’T. it’s a precautionary thing. lots of people in our line of work have wills like that.

u/redditusereleven:
do you think maybe Ed is jealous?
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
I mean maybe because I took his basketball buddy away from him, but he and Timmy can still play basketball whenever they want, I don’t understand??

r/gossip
u/henthelesbian • 33d

My Coworkers Are In Love With Each Other But Don’t Know It

Y’all I wish you could come to work with me. I didn’t know two people could be so clueless.
One of them FINALLY came out as bi (CALLED IT)(won a bet with my wife)(20 bucks shouldve bet more) and he now has a boyfriend (loser of a guy but we all know how the First Gay Relationship can be like I can’t judge him until it becomes a pattern you know?)

Anyways the other guy is clearly gay but for some reason in The Year Of Our Lord 2024 I’m not allowed to tell him (my wife said I have to let everyone figure out by themselves)(I thought being the out gay person at work gave me the right to tell people that they’re setting off my gaydar BUT my wife said that’s not true)(I love her) and he won’t admit it to himself so instead he just looks constipated 24/7 as he struggles to come to terms with his non-heterosexuality.

In some ways it’s funny to watch but on the other hand I AM TIRED. You wouldn’t believe how pitiful these guys are. Gay is so in love with Bi that he has started listening to mitski during work hours. I checked his Spotify and he only follows playlists that are called things like Sad Girl Autumn and Phoebe Bridgers Radio. Yes this is a thirty year old man and not a fifteen year old lesbian going through her first homoerotic situationship. If I didn’t already shave my head I would have to just to gain control over my own life and sanity.

My wife says that me and my bestie are too invested but i practically live with these guys so it’s not like I’m nosey on purpose??? Gay literally asked for a link to my angst playlist outright and he still thinks he’s straight. Sorry to be homophobic but I think lesbians might be the only smart members of the Community.

AMA in the comments me and my bestie @u/rebarbrain are bored at work

COMMENTS:

u/redditusertwelve:
slip good luck babe and other songs about comphet into your angst playlist
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
WAITTTT GOOD IDEA

u/reddituserthirteen:
SO WAIT THE BI GUY HAS A BF BUT THE GAY GUY IS IN LOVE WITH HIM?
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
YES BUT NEITHER OF THEM WILL ADMIT IT

u/reddituserfourteen:
shouldn’t u and ur bestie be doing ur jobs??
↳ u/rebarbrain replied:
shouldn’t you be minding ur own business??? damn
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
lmfaooo

u/reddituserfifteen:
maybe lock them in a room together?
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
our boss tried but they’re both firefighters so they just got themselves out of the room in record time. sooo lame

u/redditusersixteen:
is gay actually gay or is he just homophobic?
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
he’s not homophobic he plays scrabble with me and my wife and he watches The Bachelor with an openly gay guy and Bi’s sister so he’s def okay with fruity people
↳ u/redditusersixteen replied:
oh so the closet is made of glass?
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
SEE THROUGH. TRANSLUCENT. CLEAR AS HELL

u/reddituserseventeen:
how can he be homophobic his bitch is gay
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
EXACTLYYYYY

r/Relationships
u/elpaso-dad • 27d

UPDATE: My (M30) best friend (M27) came out as bi, and I think I’m homophobic. HELP

!! pls read the first post [link] before you read this one bc I cannot type everything out again I have a full time job and a son. also stop calling me stupid in the comments!! it’s getting repetitive !!

Okay so. B came over the other night for a beer and just to catch up. He was really worried about something (I could tell) and when he finally told me what he was worried about, it broke my heart.

He said he was scared I would take him out of my will or make him stop visiting C. I never thought he’d ever think I was capable of doing that. Even writing this I feel like shit. And this isn’t even the worst thing that happened during this visit.

HE BURST INTO TEARS. and I just. held him. he’s taller and bigger than me so I had to do my best but he crumbled into me and it felt like something was clicking back into place, you know? I realized that I CANT be away from B, even if I hate his boyfriend and might be homophobic. Maybe it’s selfish, but I need him in my life, and most importantly, I need to be the shoulder he can cry on. I need to be available for him.

I told him nothing in the entire world could ever make me change my mind about him and C. This made him cry harder. I felt like I was holding my heart in my arms. I’ve never seen him cry so hard before. I hate that I was the cause of it.

He asked to stay over and I don’t know why I did it, but I offered for him to sleep with me in my bed. He sleeps on my couch just fine, but it’s not the comfiest and I feel like the least I owe him after that is a good night’s sleep. I guess I’m stupid because I should’ve slept on the couch. This whole dilemma would’ve been avoided if I had just slept on the couch.

HE CUDDLED ME. which I totally should’ve seen coming because he’s literally a love bug and he latches onto EVERYTHING but it’s never been ME he’s latched onto like. We hug and stuff but we don’t HOLD each other. He fell asleep so fast and then he just. curled up against me. And he seemed so much smaller than he is when he’s awake. I had no idea what to do so I just scratched his back until I fell asleep too.

When the morning came, he and C were in the kitchen and B was making omelets. It felt so strange; we’ve never woken up together before. And he was just. getting C ready for school. He’s done that before, but usually I’m not there to see it. Seeing him sleep-rumpled in my kitchen made me sad for some reason. Idk how to describe it. It’s like, when you’re in a really good moment, but at the same time, you know it’s gonna end soon, and you’ll never get it again. That’s how I felt. He toasted a bagel for me because he knows I’m not too fond of eggs. I felt so much love for him that I wanted to apologize for ever making him think I didn’t like him.

So after we got C to school, I did my best to smile politely any time B brought up T. I asked him questions that I’ve never asked him before and he smiled SO BIG that it really felt worth it. He was telling me about all kinds of stuff, including gay sex which I admit, I was curious about. But hearing B talk about it made me feel sort of sick, so I tried to change the subject. Then he said something along the lines of “thanks for letting me cuddle you last night. T always pushes me away. Says it gets too hot at night for him.”

I said “He’s a dickhead and he should just turn on a fan.” WHY DID I SAY THIS? I DONT KNOW

It was going SO WELL and then I just ruined it. He looked so hurt and like obviously I’m in the wrong because I called his boyfriend a dickhead for getting sweaty at night but you have to understand that B deserves the entire world and it’s not far that he should live without cuddles from the ONE person who is supposed to give them to him. And why wouldn’t you want to cuddle B? He looks super buff but he’s really soft and his heartbeat is so loud and soothing and he always smells nice so it’s not like it’s an unpleasant experience. I feel like I would just plug in a fan or sleep naked or something.

So anyway. He got mad at me. He didn’t say anything but he got all quiet and I just know it’s my fault.

Now I’m about to see him in like an HOUR and I have no idea how to make it up to him or even explain myself because I hardly know what’s going on myself.

TLDR; called my best friends boyfriend a dickhead and don’t know how to make it up to him

COMMENTS:

u/redditusereighteen:
oh IM SURE you’d sleep naked with him op
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
???

u/redditusernineteen:
breakfast with him and your son sounded perfect. sorry your head is too mean to you to let you enjoy it
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
I already miss it. Idk. Part of me wonders if he could sleep over some other time, but I think I lost the privilege to ask that when I called his boyfriend a dickhead.

u/redditusertwenty:
tell us more about how T is a dick
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
imagine the most annoying guy from your highschool who is lowkey racist but it’s lowkey so if you call him out on it the white people think you’re overreacting and also he wears the worst smelling cologne it has to be called Parfum a La Dookie or some shit and he SUCKS at basketball he’s a ball hog and he eats weird too like he chews weird you’d have to see it I can’t describe it and he won’t stop announcing that he was in the army and like I have a silver star but you don’t see me flaunting it around everywhere. and B laughs at all of his jokes even when they’re NOT FUNNY but B has such a nice laugh that no one wants to break the news to him that he has the most unfunny bf in the world. so.
↳ u/redditusertwenty replied:
op I’m gonna let you figure it out on your own but one day you’re gonna look back at this reply and realize that you might be the most oblivious person on the planet
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
I’m very observant obviously bc I noticed all of this about T [rolling eyes emoji]
↳ u/redditusertwenty replied:
bless your heart.

r/friendship
u/rebarbrain • 24d

MY FRIENDS ARE SO STUPID

MADE AN ACCOUNT JUST TO RANT ABOUT THESE TWO IDIOTS.

ONE FRIEND IS CALLED STUPID AND THE OTHER IS CALLED IDIOT. THEY DESERVE NOTHING LESS.

So IDIOT came out as bi and introduced us (his coworkers and best friends) to his boyfriend. His boyfriend is an old kinda-friend. like the type of guy you make conversation with at a wedding but you’re not inviting him to the afterparty. Boyfriend can be called RACIST because he was rude to me when I first got on the job and it was def because I’m an Asian man in a white male dominated field. To be fair, IDIOT doesn’t know that RACIST was racist to me, and he seems to have toned down his awfulness a bit so I’m trying to let bygones be bygones. I have the most forgiving soul. Truly. I deserve an award for what I put up with.

Anyways ever since IDIOT started dating RACIST, STUPID has had a stick up his ass because he’s GAY JEALOUS. Literally gay jealous. I’ve never seen such a case before. It’s like. Potent, how bad STUPID wants IDIOT. Except STUPID is so stupid, he thinks he’s just really good friends with the man he is currently raising a child with. I’m talking SHARED CUSTODY PEOPLE!!!! You’d think a man who is smart enough to be a medic would be smart enough to recognize his own feelings. He needs to be BONKED on the HEAD!!!!!!

And IDIOT is no better because he has a boyfriend when he’s clearly in love with STUPID. And I try to be nice because IDIOT is clueless about a lot of things but he somehow managed to reverse baby trap STUPID to the point where he now has custody. Wtf. How does that even happen? How are you in the guy’s will before you two even kiss?? That’s so bizarre. They are both so bizarre. They deserve each other. Really. I wish I was God so I could make them kiss like Barbie dolls.

So anyways, I don’t need advice, I just need to rant because I work with two of the biggest idiots in the world and sometimes I feel seriously gaslit when watching them tiptoe around each other.

COMMENTS:

u/redditusertwentyone:
op please read these [link] [link]
↳ u/rebarbrain replied:
YOURE KIDDING. IM RIPPING MY HAIR OUT ONE STRAND AT A TIME
↳ u/rebarbrain replied:
@u/henrhelesbian HAVE YOU SEEN THIS
↳ u/henthelesbian replied:
IK UR FUCKING LYING LMFAOOO

r/bisexuality
u/fireHOSE • 19d

UPDATE: My best friend has been pulling away from me since I came out as bi. How do I get us back to normal?

So I went over to Ed’s house and asked him not to take me out of the will. It was embarrassing because I burst into tears and he had to hold me to calm me down. Once he promised me he’d never take me off of the will and he never even considered doing that, I cried Even More because the relief was so strong I couldn’t do anything else.

For some reason I asked to sleep over. Probably because I have abandonment issues and I just wanted to be near him. Everything feels lighter when I’m with him, even if things are rocky between us.

Anyways, he let me sleep in his bed with him because the couch isn’t the comfiest. It’s embarrassing but I cuddled with him in my sleep. I woke up in his arms. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. He nuzzled his nose into my skin and it felt like an electric shock. Idk. I felt really safe but also I felt like… I felt like I was doing something wrong. I think best friends are allowed to sleep over in each other’s beds, right? But what are the rules when one of them is bi and has a boyfriend?

I got up before he did and made sure his son was ready for school. I cooked us all breakfast and then we took his son to school. As we were walking around the city, he started asking me questions about me and Timmy. It was so nice to talk to him again. He didn’t seem too thrilled when I tried to describe gay sex to him, but he didn’t say anything mean or rude. But then I thanked him for letting me cuddle him. I admitted that Timmy doesn’t let me cuddle him because he gets too hot at night, and Ed told me that Timmy was a dickhead. So, one step forward and three steps back, I guess.

THEN the next time I had a shift, Timmy drove me to work. I tried to kiss him goodbye and he brushed me off. He’s been kinda off lately and I know it’s because his work has been difficult, but our line of work is always difficult so I’m not sure why he made it a big deal. We argued a bit and then I went inside.

Ed was right at the open doorway, and I think he saw the whole thing. He looked unhappy, but thankfully he didn’t say anything.

He was actually super nice during the whole shift. He sat close to me and we partnered up on nearly every job. He kept pointing out all the good things I did and kept praising me for them and it was just really nice to be appreciated. All I wanted to do was go to his house after work and drink a beer with him, but I had dinner with Timmy. I felt kinda bad for wanting to cancel.

So… I’m kind of confused now. Is Ed homophobic or not? He seems more mad at Timmy than he is at me, which I guess is understandable, but how do I get him to stop?

TLDR; Ed called Timmy a dickhead. He doesn’t seem to hate me but he seems to hate my boyfriend, and I can’t figure out why

COMMENTS:

u/redditusertwentytwo:
if he’s mad at Timmy it’s probably for a good reason
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
but why?
↳ u/redditusertwentytwo replied:
because he’s ur friend and he wants what’s best for you I’m assuming

u/redditusertwentythree:
No one will say it so I’ll say it. You should break up with Timmy and date Ed
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
Ed is straight he would never like me like that

u/redditusertwentyfour:
are you sure Ed is straight
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
i mean yeah? he had a kid with a woman?
↳ u/redditusertwentyfour replied:
op im pointing and laughing at you jsyk
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
[pouting emoji]

u/redditusertwentyfive:
maybe you should break up with timmy until you can figure out what you truly want
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
maybe

r/gay
u/pilot200226 • 15d

My boyfriend is in love with someone else

So backstory is I met this guy while working a job and he’s super fit and sexy but I could tell he had a thing for his coworker so I started hanging out with his coworker basically to get his attention. It kind of worked like he seemed jealous but it seemed to be for the other guy and when he was telling me about his feelings he seemed confused and thought he liked me, which I was totally fine with because like I said he’s super hot. So I kissed him and we started dating. He didn’t even know he was bi until I kissed him so I kind of set him free in a way. He wouldn’t even know if it wasn’t for me.

But he literally never shuts up about his coworker. It’s so annoying. I knew he liked him but I didn’t realize he was in love with him. No amount of dates or sex makes him feel any differently. He’d still drop anything if his coworker needed him. Which. Fine but maybe don’t be an ass and agree to date another guy?

I’m always pissed at him now because he seems so dumb you know? Gullible even. It took him forever to admit he was bi even tho we were going out. And why wouldn’t you know who you’re actually attracted to?? Why would you date ME if you like someone else?

Lately I’ve realized that his coworker probably returns his feelings so I’m gonna break up with him and just let the two assholes get together. They deserve each other.

PINNED COMMENT:

u/comment-bot:
THIS POST HAS BEEN LOCKED BY MODS
post and comments will be kept up but due to the influx of comments and replies breaking this subreddit’s rules, no one will be able to further comment or react to this post.

COMMENTS:

u/redditusertwentysix:
dude YOU sound like the asshole
↳ u/pilot200226 replied:
maybe but he shouldn’t have led me on. I have the right to be mad

u/redditusertwentyseven:
so you kissed a guy who was struggling with his sexuality and then blamed him for *checks notes* struggling with his sexuality??
↳ u/pilot200226 replied:
yeah idk why kissing him didn’t make him figure it out tho

u/redditusertwentyeight:
OP is a spiderman villain
↳ u/pilot200226 replied:
grow up

u/redditusertwentynine:
he deserves better I hope him and his coworker live a long and blessed life
↳ u/pilot200226 replied:
fuck you
this comment has been flagged!

r/bisexuality
u/fireHOSE • 10d

FINAL UPDATE: My best friend has been pulling away from me since I came out as bi. How do I get us back to normal?

So I broke up with Timmy. Well, he broke up with me. I thought I would be more sad about it but I kinda just feel relief? Everything started going wrong after I started dating him so maybe things will finally go back to normal.

Except he said something that some of you guys were saying in the comments and that is that I’m actually in love with Ed. I denied it at first but now it’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking that he’s right.

Ed is the best man I’ve ever known. OFC if he liked guys, I’d try to win him over. I would think that is obvious. But he doesn’t like guys, so I’m wondering if this is something I should confess to him or if I should just hope it passes soon.

I’m overthinking every interaction we’ve ever had now. And I want to call him for advice because he’s my best friend but I can’t because it’s about him and I don’t know… Should I confess? Like, hey Ed turns out I’ve been in love with you for awhile and everyone knew except me and maybe you, I know you’re straight but I thought I’d tell you for peace of mind. Like that can’t go over well can it?

I did call Ed earlier today to tell him that me and Tommy broke up. He seemed to be in good spirits and invited me over for a beer. I said no because just the thought of being alone with him now that I know what I know makes me feel queasy. How can I ever be normal around him again?

I texted my sister about it and all she texted back was FINALLY before muting her phone (she has a baby and a job so she can’t stay up late. I get it.) Which. Okay. Did everyone know but me? That’s so embarrassing. Why wouldn’t someone tell me? Or did everyone keep quiet because they know Ed doesn’t feel the same way and they don’t want to hurt my feelings even more?

It would break my heart if I confessed and he started distancing himself away from me. That would actually kill me. Idk. Maybe I’ll just keep this secret forever.

I think I’m done updating. Thanks for all the nice comments. You guys are funny.

TLDR; broke up with Timmy and realized I’m in love with Ed but I’m not telling him because I don’t want to ruin the friendship. final update for now.

COMMENTS:

u/reddituserthirty:
you should tell him!!!
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
i can’t I’m not brave enough

u/reddituserthirtyone:
op for the love of all things good and holy pls tell him
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
i don’t want to lose the relationship

u/reddituserthirtytwo:
what would you do if he confessed to YOU
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
cry or pass out. then kiss him. probably.

r/adultsunder30
u/raviiiioilio • 5d

So work is awkward right now…

There are these two guys at my work who used to be married right? They’re at least exes. Not sure when they got divorced/broke up. Probably a few years ago but usually they’re pretty cool with each other. There’s def no hard feelings so maybe it was just a “right person wrong time” situation. They co-parent their kid and I’ve never seen them fight or anything. But recently one of them started dating a guy and the vibe is HARSH at the workplace. I guess they’re both bi but besides each other have always dated women (that I’ve seen) and maybe they don’t see women as a threat to their relationship or whatever like I seriously don’t know but as soon as one of them started dating a guy it’s been WEIRD and no one is saying anything and I just KNOW I’m gonna slip up one day and say something but I’m just a girl (I’m a guy but also. seriously I’m still just a girl) and it’s so ANNOYING to tiptoe around them both when they’re looking at each other like wounded puppies. like do ur jobs babes. srsly.

I’ve never seen a divorced couple get back together I really thought that was just a trope from the Parent Trap (great movie btw check out my review: [letterboxd link]) but I’m starting to think they should get back together. Anything to make the energy of the workplace go back to normal. I’m starting to break out in hives just from the stress.

COMMENTS:

u/reddituserthirtythree:
are you sure they’re exes?
↳ u/raviiiioilio replied:
I mean, I’m new to the team so it would be rude to ask but I’m just picking up on context clues right now and it seems so

u/reddituserthirtyfour:
sounds like they still like each other
↳ u/raviiiioilio replied:
right? like just get back together already. maybe it’s a money issue? i told them to start buying and renting properties but they won’t listen to me

u/reddituserthirtyfive:
maybe just mind your own business?
edit: typo
↳ u/raviiiioilio replied:
i work 48-hour shifts with these people there’s no way I’m not getting invested in their personal lives. be so fucking fr [rolling eyes emoji]

u/reddituserthirtysix:
dude why are your only posts this one, asking r/non-binary if you can be a guy and a girl at the same time, and one 30 min long firefighter pov nsfw audio??
↳ u/raviiiioilio replied:
because i contain multitudes NEXT
↳ u/reddituserthirtyseven replied:
omg yeah i saw you on r/gonewildaudio kinda embarrassing dude
↳ u/raviiiioilio replied:
and girl what are YOU doing on r/gonewildaudio [lifted eyebrow emoji][magnifying glass emoji][police siren emoji][red exclamation mark emoji]
↳ u/reddituserthirtyeight replied:
srry to butt in but you might want to check out the r/bigender subreddit OP
↳ u/raviiiioilio replied:
kissing you on the mouth rn
↳ u/reddituserthirtyeight replied:
don’t do that

r/Relationships
u/elpaso-dad • 1d

FINAL UPDATE: My (M30) best friend (M27) came out as bi, and I think I’m homophobic. HELP

This is going to be super long but it’s the final update so bare with me. So much has happened.

So. Firstly, B broke up with T. When he called to tell me, I felt like. I don’t know, the world opened up for a few minutes. You know how when there’s a drought in LA and you’re rationing water and then the drought is over and you can finally take a long shower and it’s like suddenly you feel rejuvenated and warm and GOOD? It felt like that. I invited him over for beers and he said no, which I understood because I know he was probably sad, but for some reason it really upset me.

I called my lesbian friend (the married one not the one who does muay thai with me) and it was like a dam broke. I told her ALL of my feelings, even the super homophobic ones like me hating when B talks about having sex with T. She was really patient and nice and then she asked me the craziest thing. She was like “do you think it’s possible you’re in love with B?”

And I was like obviously not?? I’m straight, I married a WOMAN. But then she started asking me why I even married my ex wife and i was like well i got her pregnant and she was like if you didn’t get her pregnant, would you have married her? and I was like no. and then she was like would you date women if you weren’t looking for a mother for C? and I was like probably not actually. And then she was like. Don’t you like raising C with B? which.

I feel like an idiot. I think I might be in love with B. I don’t know if I’m gay or not but I know that my life is so much better with B in it.

She asked me if I wanted to have sex with B and at first I was like obviously not but then I thought about it and. Idk I think I could be a good lover to him. Like, he might have to explain some things to me but if it was him I’d do anything, I think. I thought about kissing him and I haven’t been able to stop. For DAYS I was walking around like a zombie and I couldn’t even LOOK at B because every time I did my eyes went to his lips and I just wanted to lean in and kiss him. Once all these feelings came up, it was really hard to taper them down.

I went out with a gay friend to talk to him about some things and he really helped me. There’s this thing called “comphet” and it seems like I have the worst recorded case of it (according to him). He really made me feel better about everything and answered so many questions and he told me I didn’t have to label myself if I didn’t want to but truthfully I think I could be gay. At least gay for B, which is gay enough, right? My friend took me to a gay bar and it was too much for me. I’m a nester, everyone knows that. And clubbing is no fun without B (yes I hear it), but it was nice to be there and even get attention from guys. I was glad that I seemed attractive to men bc hopefully that meant B might find me attractive too.

Life’s too short, I guess, and once I realized I was definitely gay for B I just knew I would have to tell him.

Tonight I invited him over for beers like usual but I made sure C was sleeping over at a friends house so we wouldn’t be interrupted. I'm a terrible cook and he knows it so I got our favorite takeout and plated it up for us. I didn’t light candles or anything (I didn’t want to scare him off) but I kept the lights kinda dim so as to set the mood.

It was so nice. We just talked like we always do. I wanted to reach over and hold his hand. I wanted to kiss him. But I just made sure he was fed and happy, which felt kind of like the same thing. We talked about his breakup and he admitted that he doesn’t think he was all that interested in T which gave me hope, of course. I asked him about his bisexuality and how it felt for him to be out and he talked to me about all sorts of stuff.

We got this call awhile back. YEARS AGO. Old gay couple. They died in each other’s arms. I wasn't thinking much about it because I was one of the medics on scene and I was doing my job, but B said that was the first time he recognized the type of love he wanted. He told me he’s always known since then, he just didn’t know if it was possible for him.

I couldn’t stop myself and blurted out “I want to make it possible for you.” My excuse is that I was down two beers and am horribly in love. B deserves that kind of love more than anyone in the entire world and I want to be the one who gives it to him. He should at least know that.

He was silent for a long time. I felt like crying but I held it in. I thought maybe I ruined everything. I started rambling. I told him everything. How I hated T and thought I was homophobic and my talk with our gay friends and how they helped me. I told him that I understood if he thought I was rushing things or being impulsive but that I’ve been in love with him for a while.

He reached over and held my hand. He did the thumb thingy. It felt like I’d had two more beers and maybe a few shots of tequila. It felt like middle school again. He said he wanted to take things slow because he really liked me too (!!!!) but he doesn’t want to ruin anything. I agreed. But!! we kissed and it was chaste and nice and his lips are really soft and he smiles when he kisses which is something I can’t stop thinking about. I’m gonna think about it every time he smiles now. I’m never gonna be able to get my work done. My captain is gonna hate me.

He stayed the night and we cuddled while awake this time. His head fits perfectly in my neck and I scratched his back and I’m literally typing this with one hand now but he’s SNORING in my EAR and I’ve never felt happier. I don’t think I’ll sleep a wink tonight.

I wanted to tell you guys because I know all the comments have been roasting me but I guess comphet really is a bitch. But I have prevailed. And I have a boyfriend now. The cutest boyfriend ever. I can’t wait to kiss him and take him on an actual date. I want to tell everyone. I thought I’d start with y’all.

This will be the last update. I got my answers and my happy ending.

TLDR; turns out I don’t mind B kissing guys as long as I’m the guy he’s kissing

COMMENTS:

u/henthelesbian:
FINALLY
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
HEN???

u/bobbynash118:
just don't have sex in the engine pls
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
WE WONT

u/raviiiioilio:
wait so you guys were never married??
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
no???

u/rebarbrain:
couldn’t have waited one more week to confess? now i owe maddie forty bucks
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
is anything sacred

u/taylor-kelly:
so writing an article on this
↳ u/fireHOSE replied:
TAYLOR DONT

u/fireHOSE:
ily
↳ u/elpaso-dad replied:
ily2