Chapter Text
Joel walked into what he could only describe as an intervention. It was a sad sight that ignited that inappropriate need to giggle that usually arose in the most serious of situations.
Mumbo’s living room had been rearranged. Furniture was shifted to allow for more space. Chairs from the kitchen table had been brought through.
The faces of his friends mirrored the same solemn expressions. This time Joel could keep the small smile that tugged nervously at his mouth.
“Joel.” Etho said. His voice was flat, but relatively high pitched. It was clear that he had his medic-voice on.
“Etho,” Joel replied. The eyes on him were beginning to make him feel uncomfortable.
He began bustling around, picking up an empty mug and turning to make his way to the kitchen. His path was blocked by a curtain of white feathers. Joel stopped, eyes trained on the mug in his hands.
“Please let me past, Skizz.” Joel didn’t quite whisper, but his voice was quiet, just above the breaking point at which his voice might have broken.
“If I let you go, are you going to just leave out the door?” Skizz raised an eyebrow.
Joel rolled his eyes. “…No.” He totally was thinking about it.
“I don’t think so.”
“Make me.” Joel challenged.
“What?” Skizz’s voice lurched, his wing dropped too, perhaps unintentionally.
“You heard me.” Joel knew he was being unreasonable. He knew he was being unfair. Yet, the focus on him by so many people at once was making him feel slightly cornered. Not to mention, he was feeling betrayed by Skizz, the one person who he thought would have had his back.
Gently, hands pushed him away from Skizz. Those hands pried the mug from his fingers and handed it off. Joel watched as Skizz turned the corner, disappearing into the kitchen. Through the wall, he heard the boiling of the kettle.
“We want to help.” Joel looked up, meeting the kind eyes of Impulse, “Please, will you at least let us try?”
Cautiously, Joel nodded. He looked around. Most of his friends in the room looked various levels of uncomfortable. Bitterly, Joel felt like it was the least they deserved for forcing him into the conversation that they were surely just about to have.
“Do you want to sit?” Impulse asked.
The careful way in which Impulse was avoiding orders was beginning to annoy him. Should it? No, absolutely not. Did it anyway? For sure. Yes. Definitely.
Huffing, Joel flopped down on the high armed chair and curled his legs up to his body, his tail wrapping around his ankles. He was sure he looked somewhat of a sorry sight.
Skizz returned with an apologetic smile. Joel accepted the cup of tea that was offered to him, but not after an internal deliberation over his desire for the drink and his frustration with Skizz. As probably predicted, the warm cup of tea won over holding a petty grudge.
Over his steaming mug, Joel did a quick headcount of the people gathered to witness his shame.
Gem looked uncomfortable where she sat simmering next to Grian. Judging by the offset to her shoulders, Joel figured that the two of them had probably been fighting. Grian looked a little guilty, and Joel thought it a fair shout that they had been fighting over whether or not this whole thing was a good idea.
Mumbo also looked a little perturbed, but the most recognisable set to his expression looked to be primarily concerned. Xisuma sat close to his side, hovering anxiously as Joel noticed that the admin was apt to do.
Impulse and Skizz sat squished together in one armchair, however they somehow made it look comfortable and not claustrophobic.
Etho hovered behind Gem and Grian, not really sitting, but instead leaning against the back of the sofa and then shifting to lean against the wall and so on.
Despite there being a few empty chairs, Scar was sat on the floor, splayed out over the rug. He looked carefree and unaware of the tension in the room, but one brief moment of eye contact had Joel suspecting that Scar was acutely aware of everything going on. Joel appreciated that at least one person in the room was at least attempting to lighten the atmosphere.
“Someone say something, please,” he caved, the thick, tense weight to the air finally growing to be too much.
“Um,” Grian started, looking around.
“I think maybe, Joel,” Impulse began, “That maybe there is something that you want to say?”
Joel blinked.
“After what happened yesterday-“ Xisuma tried.
“I though we agreed this would happen on my terms.” Joel snapped.
Scar and Grian exchanged a look.
“It was scary,” Scar said, looking serious for the first time since Joel had been trapped in with them, “I just, I didn’t like seeing you like that.”
Joel sat back. He studied his now-empty mug with mock interest. He tried to take a mental step back from the situation for a second. He tried to imagine being Scar, or Grian, or Xisuma, or anyone other than himself.
He sighed, resigning himself to what he was about to do.
“When I-“ his throat closed up, and Joel cleared his throat in annoyance.
“When-“ he tried again. This time, his voice trailed off in a strange sort of squeak.
He didn’t dare look up. Instead, he curled tighter into himself and pulled his tail closer to his body.
“I can’t,” he whispered.
“Do you want me to…?” Skizz trailed off. Perhaps he remembered that fifteen minutes ago, Joel had been upset with him. Perhaps he felt like it wasn’t his place. Perhaps he decided that it was a bad idea.
Instead, Joel nodded.
“I don’t know if I can hear it.” Joel said, “But you’re right, they deserve to know.”
Skizz looked uncertainly to Impulse.
“Can I go?” Joel felt awfully a lot like a small child asking to be excused.
Xisuma looked to Impulse, who nodded softly.
“I’d rather you would be alone,” Xisuma said.
“I’ll go and see Ren.” He proposed, thinking back to that day in the field. How free he had felt. He could do with that right now. And something about being around someone who was just like him was alleviating in a way that he never thought that it would have been.
“Okay,” Xisuma breathed, “Are you sure that you don’t want to stay?”
Joel nodded rapidly, “I know what happened. I’m just, I’m not ready to talk about it,”
Joel could see that everyone was pretending that they couldn’t see the tears that were growing in his eyes and the wobble to his voice. In turn, he pretended that he didn’t see them pretending.
“Thanks,” Joel stood on shaky legs.
When he reached the door, he turned around halfway.
“Hey, X?” He called.
Xisuma turned his head, humming under his breath.
“Once they know,” Joel took a breath, forcing himself to keep his eyes on Xisuma and not look at anyone else in the room, “Once they know, would maybe it be okay if I went to Jimmy’s server? He said he might be able to help me figure out my history.”
“I don’t see why not,” Xisuma said cautiously, “As long as Etho gives you a check over before you go.”
Joel beamed, albeit slightly forced, “Cool.”
And then he was off.
~~~
Etho had given him the clear bill of health. So here he was, stood at the entrance of a beautiful and serene forest, Gem a comforting presence at his side.
“Are you ready to do this?” She asked.
“Is it crazy to say that I don’t even care who he is.” Joel replied.
“Who?” Gem asked.
“My father.” Joel clarified, ringing his hands, “I mean, I want to know what he was. I want to know why I am the way I am, genetically I mean. But I don’t think I want to meet him. I don’t think I want to know his name.”
“I think that’s perfectly fine.” Gem said, “You don’t owe him anything.”
“Joel!”
Joel spun just in time before he had an armful of Jimmy.
“Hey, man.” Joel grinned, his voice muffed in Jimmy’s shoulder.
Jimmy pulled back and bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet.
“I found it, I found it, I found it.”
“What?” Joel laughed, Jimmy’s joy infectious. Even Gem was giggling behind her hand.
“I know who your dad was!” Jimmy squealed, “And you know what?!”
“Wait, what?” Joel felt like he’d just gotten some kind of whiplash.
“I found your brother!” Jimmy bounced some more.
“I don’t have a brother.” Joel said.
“You do!” Jimmy was practically vibrating with excitement. Joel felt somewhat overwhelmed.
“And you’ll never guess what!” Jimmy barely took a breath.
“What?”
“I know him.” Jimmy clasped Joel’s hands, “It was like we were destined to meet.”
“Jimmy, bud,” Joel shook his head, “I am so lost, you’re going to have to explain.”
“Right, right.” Jimmy hit his palm to his forehead.
“Take a breath, maybe,” Gem suggested, a small smirk on her face.
Jimmy ignored her and instead took Joel’s hand and bounded off towards a small cabin just on the treeline.
“So, I found my sister-“ Jimmy waved off Joel’s congratulations, clearly eager – nay, impatient – to get to his point.
“And you remember how I was telling you about her friend?”
Joel nodded.
“BigB is your half-brother.” Jimmy smiled.
“What?” Joel was confused.
“Lizzie’s friend. He’s a sprite. His dad is your dad. We tracked it and double checked it like a thousand times.”
Joel turned to look for Gem. She looked just as lost as he was.
“So I’m part sprite?” Joel asked.
“Woodland,” Jimmy replied, “Actually, no, maybe it was swamp.”
“Wow.” Joel deadpanned. “Real great research there, Jim.”
Jimmy rolled his eyes. He knocked on the door and slowly, it opened.
The first thing that Joel saw was pink.
“This is Lizzie.” Jimmy said to him, before turning to Lizzie, “And this is Joel.”
“Hi,” Lizzie said. She smiled. Joel couldn’t help but smile back.
“Hello.”