Chapter Text
Skulduggery was humming. He had a spring in his step. He was smug and satisfied.
Valkyrie pitied whoever Darquesse had sent him to. They'd been tormented. According to him, he'd felt less invisible recently, so apparently he was able to do more wherever he was. She adjusted her sleeves and buried her chin in her scarf.
Now that she thought about it, even if he'd been in another country, he'd have been able to reach her. Which suggested that he hadn't been able to where he was, which meant...
She gasped and Skulduggery tilted his head to show he was listening. "Where you with Nefarian?"
Skulduggery's steps faltered for a second and he stopped humming, "No."
"Oh my god, you were. You were with Nefarian and you've been tormenting the guy, haven't you?" She shook her head, "Did you have fun?"
Skulduggery huffed, "Amazing fun, it was very entertaining. He's an idiot. He also stole my plan to get the Sceptre before I showed up." Valkyrie snorted, "Don't laugh, he stole my idea."
"Other than that?"
"It was alright."
The cemetery was cold and dark, and the dead man was standing on his grave, watching her as she approached. She waved, "Hello!"
The clothes he had been buried in were torn and musty, his shoes caked with mud. He stood with a slight stoop and he had, for the most part, skin and hair. The middle of his face had rotted, however, robbing him of lips, nose and eyelids. "Midnight has come and gone, and you are late."
"So I am."
"Innocent lives are at stake."
"So they are."
"You are lucky I stayed."
"So it would appear."
“You are Valkyrie Cain.”
She nodded, “That’s right.”
“Thirteen years old, unknown by power, partner of the skeleton detective, and late.”
"That's a very good summary."
“I could have left, you know. One minute past midnight, when you weren’t here, I could have walked away. I didn’t have to wait here for you. I was under no obligation. But I stayed because I have no wish to see innocent lives taken.”
"That's very nice of you."
He glared at her but didn’t answer. He started walking, shuffling off his grave towards the ruined church. She followed and Skulduggery strolled behind them.
“I thought the skeleton would be with you,” the dead man said as they walked.
Valkyrie gave the corpse jazz hands, "Well, he's not. I'm competent though."
“Maybe you underestimate what awaits.”
“No, I think I’ve got it. Three babies snatched from their cots, being held by a family of goblins who want to exchange them for gold. Fairly straightforward. I dealt with worse. Like, a lot worse.”
“If you fully realised the danger you are walking into, you would not be so calm.”
"No, I absolutely would."
"Goblins, gobbies, robbers even. Where are you?"
“Gold,” came the voice from behind her. Valkyrie smiled and turned on her heel calmly. He wore a filthy grey suit that had lost all the buttons from the jacket. His belly protruded. Hair sprouted from his belly button. “Give us the gold,” he said.
Skulduggery looked at her and Valkyrie put her hands in her pocket. "Give me the babies."
The goblin shook his head. “Give us the gold, then you get the babies.”
"No, babies first." She tilted her head, "Where are they Gob One?"
The goblin scratched his belly thoughtfully. “Compromise,” he said.
“OK.”
“We’ll give you half now, you give us the gold, and then we give you the other half.”
Valkyrie rolled her eyes, "Show me the babies, and I'll show the gold." She'd have delegated this to Crux so she could deal with the Torment if she didn't know how incompetent the man was. "That's still a compromise."
The goblin growled in displeasure. “Colm,” he said, “Fintan, bring them out.” From behind him, two more goblins emerged. Now that she thought about it, the church must have a secret room, they hadn't been there when she walked down the hall, guided by Skulduggery's flame.
His brothers wore rags, torn and dirty, and they carried the babies between them. The babies had dummies jammed in their mouths. “See?” the first goblin said. “Alive, uneaten, and not chopped or anything. Now, the gold.”
Valkyrie reached into her trench coat and brought out a bag that jangled in her grip. She opened it enough for them to see inside and then closed it again. "There, the compromise has been fulfilled, wasn't that easy? Now give me the kids."
The first goblin, Liam she remembered, scratched his belly. “We were expecting the skeleton. Where is he?”
“He couldn’t make it.”
“He sent you instead?”
"You got a problem with that?"
“You’re a child.”
"And I've helped kill two out of the three generals. I'm awaiting my fistfight with Lord Vile. Besides, you're a goblin!"
"Only on the outside."
"Yes, because you're so much better on the inside aren't you?"
“I don’t like you.”
“You just have to get to know me,” she said. “Are we going to stand around talking all night, or are we going to do this ransom thing?”
“The skeleton should be here,” the third goblin, Fintan, mumbled.
“Shut up,” Liam barked. “We’ll settle that later. Right now, give her the brats. I want to see that gold.”
Colm and Fintan walked forward, bringing with them an interesting aroma of dried sweat and boiled cabbage. They put the babies on the ground, close to Valkyrie, and the babies gurgled and made baby noises. Skulduggery walked forward and used the air to surround the babies, ready to bring them out of harm's way at a moment's notice.
The goblins stepped back and rejoined their brother. “Now,” Liam said with a snaggle-toothed smile, “give us our payment.” Valkyrie threw the bag of fake gold towards him and let it hit him in the head. Liam went down for a moment before he got back to his feet with a snarl. "This isn't real gold is it?"
"No. No, it is not." The babies were floated behind her and she held finger guns to two of the goblin's heads. "I'm fairly certain I can win this fight. I recommend you stay where you are and let me leave." There was a crash on the roof above them, and the rotten wood splintered and gave. Pleasant fell through and hit the ground with his face. Valkyrie watched him moaning his grievances and rolled her eyes. "Right on time Jack."
Pleasant jabbed a finger at her, "What did I say about the skeleton puns?"
"That they're hilarious and I should never stop?"
"That they're not funny or imaginative and you should think before you speak."
Valkyrie shrugged, "Close enough."
Pleasant rolled on the ground. If his skull had features, it would surely be twisted in pain. “Don’t move,” he managed to say. “You’re all under arrest.”
"I don't think that's gonna work with them. I have the babies though."
"Good for you."
“You think you’re the only one with back-up?” Liam grinned at Valkyrie. “You think you’re the only one with a surprise?”
"You mean Peg?" The goblins' faces dropped, "Yeah I have her handled don't worry about it."
Pleasant got unsteadily to his feet. “Don’t worry,” he told Valkyrie. “I have her on the ropes now.”
"Right. Of course. I'll deal with these three then."
“Skuluggy,” Peg moaned as she entered the church. “Oo uv me.”
Valkyrie grinned and Pleasant shook his head quickly. “No.”
Peg took another few steps inside. Her brothers cackled and let her pass. “Skuluggy,” Peg moaned again. “I uv oo.”
Pleasant glanced at Valkyrie before slumping at the sight of her grin. “OK. She may have a thing for me.”
"I had no idea."
"I hate you."
Liam grinned. “Weren’t expecting this, were you, Mr Detective? Probably thought, once a mountain fell on her, you’d seen the last of our sister, eh?”
“To be honest,” Pleasant said, “yes.”
“She’s tougher than she looks,” Fintan said.
“Now that’s an achievement,” He murmured.
Peg stood there, a wall in a wedding dress, and held her arms out. Her swollen tongue dragged itself over her cracked lips, and she struggled to form her next word. “Kiss,” she said.
Valkyrie giggled to herself, ignoring Skulduggery's elbow knocking against her head. The goblins watched her with open amusement and she stopped giggling. "You realise I'm more powerful than you four and Skulduggery combined right?"
Pleasant grunted, "You aren't that great."
Valkyrie glanced at Skulduggery, who waved his hand and sent Peg rocketing out of the church. Pleasant ran after her to make sure she was out for the count.
The three brothers were coming for Valkyrie. Valkyrie jumped back and kicked open the door she'd come through. Ghastly and Tanith were waiting with open arms for the babies. She handed them over quickly and then sent a wave of weak lightning at the goblins.
The crystal had been taking greater effect recently and until Darquesse found a solution, she was weaker.
The child had tainted blood. It was disgusting. He held the gun level with its head as it stared at him through the skull mask it wore. A Necromancer Suit. He hadn't seen one in a while. Perhaps he'd take it off its corpse.
"Can I have that back?"
He was startled as the abomination spoke. He'd been under the impression they'd died out. He'd been relieved. And yet here one stood. And it was speaking to him. "No."
"But I like that gun, and it's not mine. I borrowed slash stole it."
“Who are you,” the Torment asked, “to come after me, to disturb me, after all these years you monster?”
It tilted its head, "I'm no one important. I'm here to kill you."
“You are. You are a child. And you have tainted blood in your veins. I can taste it from here.” He scoffed, "You think you can kill me?"
"I know I can kill you. I hate spiders, so I came prepared."
"I don't know you. Why would you want me dead? Who is your master?"
It tilted its head, "I'm a free agent. I want you dead because I know what Erskine Ravel is planning." His eyes widened and he raised the gun higher, "That gun's empty. I wouldn't be able to kill you with that."
The Torment pressed the trigger anyway. Nothing happened. He paled further. The abomination raised its hand and everything went dark.