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Lying comfortably on the couch, Dick brings his hand wrapped around Damian’s side, up to the young boy's hair. Damian leans into Dick’s side. A simple act that took Damian’s months to be comfortable with. Every day has been a lesson to Damian on how to receive love. Dick wouldn’t trade Damian for the world. The two of them along with Wally and Alfred have become quite the family over the last year.
Over the last year, Dick has been educating Damian in how to act like a kid even though Damian says in turn that he is teaching Richard to act like an adult. The two of them are currently having a Disney movie night. Their current movie being Onward, which Dick hadn’t had the time to watch yet. All he knew was that it was about two elves. Once the movie started, Dick almost changed it when he realized it’s about two brothers bringing their dad back. Damian refused to let Dick change it though, stating that they started the movie so now they must finish it.
However, while they watched the two brothers on screen complete their quest, Dick noticed Damian leaned in closer than he does on a normal day. Damian is usually more willing to lay close to Dick if it’s late at night and Dick’s reading to him at the end of the day. They’d be in a bedroom, having privacy. Even though they're at the penthouse and not the manor, Jason and Steph will still pop in from time to time unannounced. Tim is rarely seen by anyone these days, but even if he decided to drop by, he wouldn’t announce it.
Dick watches the screen with a tear pricking the corner of his eye as Ian sets off to fight a dragon of stone, giving up the chance to meet his father. Dick holds Damian just a little closer, running his hand through the younger boy's hair.
“Baba,” Damian’s voice is barely a whisper. Dick hums, acknowledging Damian, looking down at him. The glow of the TV glints on Damian’s face. Damian doesn’t look up as he asks, “Do you think father would have loved me?”’
“Of course,” Dick answers earnestly without any hesitation. He turns to better face Damian. “I know you didn’t get to meet Bruce, but he would have loved you. That I know for a fact.”
There are a few moments of silence. “Do you think that he would have found a way to come back for a day if he could? So that his kids could get to see him one last time?”
Dick purses his lips and waits a moment. He takes a soft breath before responding, “Well, Bruce hated magic. He knew magic was real obviously, but it really just pissed him off.” Damian looks up and watches Dick shake his head with a light smirk. “I think it was because he was completely abysmal with magic.”
Looking down at Damian, Dick pushes the hair out of his face. “Zatanna told us once that everyone has an affinity of magic to a certain amount.” Dick rolls his eyes, “Bruce and Wally both thought it was a load of shit.”
“Wallace didn’t like magic? But I have seen him watch several hours worth of magician videos?” Damian raises an eyebrow at Dick.
Dick chuckles, “Yeah, but that’s fake magic, all sleight of hands. Real magic, Wally refused to acknowledge it. Now Bruce, he knew it was real and would acknowledge it, but he had no affinity for it. There are certain spells and totems that people with even small amounts of magical abilities can use.” Dick stage whispers as he says, “He couldn’t ever get any of those things to work.”
“I watched Bruce try to use a totem one day for several hours before he eventually gave up.” Dick shook his head, “So, no, I don’t think Bruce would have used a magical item to come back for a day. Now a time machine on the other hand.” Dick shrugs, “If he could have gotten that to work, he would in a heartbeat.”
Damian squints at Dick. “Did father try to build a time machine?”
Dick presses his lips together, holding back a laugh, “Yeah, more than once he tried to make a time machine. Time is a finicky thing though. He was never able to account for all of the different aspects of it.” Dick sighs and rests his palm to the side of Damian’s face. “But even though he couldn’t get a magic staff or a time machine, there are still so many ways that Bruce is able to show his love.”
“He left hundreds of videos which you’ve seen,” Dick continues, “but those are Batman videos. And Batman was never meant to be a dad. There are several old tapes back at the manor of when I was younger and even of Bruce when he was your age.” Dick runs his thumb across Damian’s face. “You are the spitting image of your dad.” Dick smiles sadly, “I see all of the love Bruce had for us when I see you get on me for doing some ridiculous stunt.”
“Have you ever noticed how Jason puts that red blanket over you when he sees you reading?” Damian nods his head once. Dick smiles. “That’s a blanket from the manor that we’ve had forever. Jason actually went and picked it up and brought it here one day after he saw you reading. It was the same blanket that Bruce used to lay over Jason while he read in the library. Jason had a horrible habit of falling asleep reading. Bruce wanted to make sure he was comfortable.” Dick blinks a few times, not expecting his eyes to start stinging. “Bruce’s love goes straight from Jason to you when he lays that blanket over you.”
Dick licks his lips and clears his throat, “Or when Tim does come over and he makes you a trail mix with peanut M&Ms and marshmallows in it? That’s how Bruce used to make it for Tim. Bruce wasn’t allowed in the kitchen to actually cook anything after the dozens of times he either broke something or set something on fire. But, he would bring a bowl of trail mix to Tim when he noticed he was working on something. Like how when Tim popped in last month and gave you a bowl when he noticed you were working on your coding practice. That was all Bruce.”
“The stories I read you before bed, The Princess Bride, Robin Hood, Charlotte's Web? Those are all stories that Bruce would read to me when I started living with him.” Dick closes his eyes for a few moments, taking a breath. “He had no idea what to do with a kid when I first started to live with him. He messed up all of the time. But the one thing he never missed was reading to me a few chapters of a book and laying down with me until I fell asleep. He noticed that I wasn’t used to a room so large and so empty to sleep in.” Dick taps Damian on the nose. “That’s why I always read to you before bed, so you go to sleep knowing that someone is here for you.”
Dick presses his forehead to Damian’s. “There are so many little things everyday that are Bruce showing his love to you, even if you don’t know it. The love is always there. So never doubt how much your dad would have loved you.” Dick pulls back and presses a kiss to the top of Damian’s head.
“Father really did all of those things?” Damian asks in a quiet voice. Dick nods. Damian falters for a moment. “Mother always talked about father so seriously. Only informing me of Batman and how worthy of a warrior he is. But he was kind?”
“I think the mightiest and strongest of warriors are the kindest.” Dick swears solemnly. “That’s why Batman was so great.”
Damian leans forward and wraps his arms around Dick’s waist. Dick barely makes out as Damian mumbles, “I think Batman is still great.”
—
Dick’s laying in bed, staring at the ceiling when Wally slips into the room. Wally smiles at Dick as he walks in. He walks over to the attached bathroom and starts to get ready for bed. Wally walks to the door and leans against the doorframe, toothbrush in hand.
“How was patrol?” Dick asks.
Wally shrugs, “Same old, same old. Jason and Steph took care of the Gotham action. I ran to Key Stone for a little bit to help out Bart.” Wally steps into the bathroom, spitting out toothpaste and he calls out, “How was yours and Dami’s night off?”
Dick’s silent for a moment. “It… was nice.” Wally raises an eyebrow. “Damian asked me about Bruce today. If Bruce would have loved him.”
“Of course he would have.” Wally scoffs. The sink water turns on for a few moments, before Wally walks out. “It’s impossible to not love Damian. Even Jason loves Damian.”
Dick rolls his eyes. “Jason knew Damian first and already thought of him as a brother before he was our kid.”
Wally gives Dick a pointed look and pulls on an old, baggy t-shirt. “Okay, fine. Even Tim couldn’t get himself to hate Damian and he definitely tried.” Wally plops onto the bed. “So, what’s Damian’s conclusion? Does he think Bruce would love him?”
Dick rolls onto his side to face Wally. “Yeah, I think he does believe it. I told him about all the ways I see Bruce’s love everyday.” Dick’s eyes glisten, and he closes his eyes tight. He feels the bed shift and Wally scoots closer and wraps an arm around Dick’s waist. “It was nice to talk about Bruce as just Bruce, not as Batman.” Dick blinks open his eyes. “I didn’t realize how much I only talk about Bruce in respect to Batman.”
Wally wipes a tear away from Dick’s cheek. Dick huffs. “I think I need to talk to Tim and Jason about letting the league know that Bruce is dead. Which I know you’ve been telling me for months. But,” Dick takes a sharp breath, “telling the League makes his death real.”
Staying silent, Wally just watches Dick. “He deserves to be grieved. Even if we don’t tell them of his identity, he was their friend. The original Batman is dead. He’s dead.” Dick’s face crumbles, “My dad’s dead. And everyday I put on his mask and pretend to be someone I’m not.” Hot tears stream over Dick’s nose and down his cheek onto the bed. “I can’t do this to Damian. I told him that Batman was never meant to be a father. Bruce loved us. But he fucked up a lot because of Batman. I need to change Batman so Damian has a parent he deserves.” Dick shakes his head, his body trembling, “But I can’t change Batman without telling the league.”
“Fuck.” Dick whispers, a sob rips from his throat. “Fuck.”
“I know,” Wally whispers, he tucks Dick’s head under his chin and rubs Dick’s back. He lets Dick cry against his chest. “We’ll talk to Tim and Jason and we’ll talk to the League.” Wally presses a kiss to Dick’s head. “You’re not in this alone. You’re never alone in this.”