Chapter Text
Eric completed his last homework assignment, rubbing his eyes. He'd been getting used to being in Hyde's old room, which did make him feel safer. There wasn't a window, which meant Casey couldn't climb in and do whatever he wanted to do. Eric couldn't shake the fear, though, that his safety would be temporary and that Casey would make his way into the basement at some point. He could only hope that that day wouldn't come.
I gotta get out of here.
Eric stood up from his desk and left the room, relishing the quietness of the basement. Kelso had tutoring with a high school alum named Brooke Rockwell. It honestly surprised Eric to see that Kelso hadn't been failing all of his classes, but he knew that his friend just needed more time to understand the assignments. Hyde and Jackie were out on a date, and that usually meant them stopping for ice cream afterward. Fez was spending time with his host parents, and he knew his foreign friend wouldn't particularly enjoy reading Scripture. As for what Donna was doing ... well, Eric didn't really know. Things between them were still very tense, and Eric was still mad at her, but it wasn't just about her ditching him for hours after the concert anymore.
Eric grabbed a basketball on his way to the driveway, planning to shoot some hoops. He also grabbed a sweatshirt since there was a slight chill in the air. The hickeys and bruises on his neck were still healing, and Kitty checked his temperature every day since his stint in the hospital. While he was averaging his usual temperature, she still worried that it could get too high again. With the weather changing from warm to chilly, she wanted to make sure he didn't get sick. Red never said anything about Kitty's actions, but Eric knew that his dad was worried about him.
I'm fine! No, I'm not. Eric dribbled the basketball on the ground after he got his sweatshirt on, aiming and throwing the ball. He made the shot, pumping a fist into the air in excitement. Donna caught the ball as she approached him.
"Hey."
"Hey."
Donna kicked a tiny pebble with her shoe as an awkward silence filled the air. What could either of them say? Eric supposed being honest would be a start. "I'm still mad at you, you know."
"I know. I meant what I said when I apologized about ditching you after the concert."
"It isn't just the concert anymore, Donna. You outed me to my parents, our friends, when I wasn't ready to come out yet. I had only just figured out I was bisexual back in December 1976, and I was still coming to terms with that."
"Who helped you figure it out?"
"Buddy did."
"How did he help you?"
"We kissed."
"You guys kissed?"
"Yeah, we did. It was for a split second before I panicked, but it was still a kiss."
"Huh, no wonder why you kissed me the way you did when you got back to the basement that night."
"My kiss with Buddy scared me a bit because I liked it." Eric took the basketball from Donna, bouncing it to get rid of his nervous energy. "I'd never been kissed by a guy before, so I freaked out. Once I calmed down, I realized that I liked the kiss and started thinking about the possibility that I could like both men and women. I did my research on my own time and found the term bisexual. I kind of came out to myself and have been closeted since then. I was waiting for the right time to tell everyone, but then you found out about Casey and me, outing me to everyone. I never got the chance to come out because you did it for me. You took the chance for me to be the one to say it out loud to someone other than myself, and that fucking hurts. It just shows me that you don't trust me, and you don't respect me."
"I do trust you, and I do respect you. I really fucked up when it came to everything with us."
"I fucked up, too."
"But I always brought your mistakes back up more than my own. I'm sorry for outing you and for telling everyone about you and Casey. I didn't know that you hadn't come out, and I'll do my best to keep anything you want to keep private to myself until either you are ready or you give me the okay to tell someone."
"Thank you."
Donna nodded. "I miss talking like this, you know?"
"I miss this, too."
"How about we both be honest with each other on the count of three?"
"What do we say?"
"Anything we want to say about our relationship."
"Okay."
"One, two, three," said Eric and Donna in unison.
"I love you," said Donna.
"I wish we never dated," said Eric.
"You wish we never dated?" Donna asked.
"Things were easier when we were friends. You kissing me on the hood of the Vista Cruiser gave me the courage to even try to go out with you. If you hadn't kissed me, things might've been good with us, and we wouldn't be here right now."
Donna didn't speak for a few minutes as she contemplated his words. Did he regret their relationship? Did he regret experiencing a lot of firsts with her? Is this because of Casey? That last thought slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it.
"Is this because of Casey?"
"Oh, my God."
"Okay, it's not."
"Oh, my God! I cannot let Casey keep being this dark cloud that blocks out any bit of light that shines on me! I'm trying not to be scared anymore! I'm trying to get back to who I used to be! I can't let Casey win! And you bringing him up doesn't make it any easier!"
"I'm sorry! It just slipped out!"
Eric ran his hand through his hair, groaning. "I can't let him win. I already have to deal with him not understanding that I ended things. I moved to the basement just so he doesn't climb through my window at night. I can't keep being scared!"
"I'm sorry. I won't say something like that again." Donna grabbed the basketball from Eric so he didn't throw it at something in the garage.
"I'm sorry for yelling."
"You're afraid and frustrated. You're vulnerable. It makes sense."
Eric nodded.
"You wanna just play?" Donna asked, holding up the basketball.
"Yeah."
The two started to play, eventually laughing and throwing playful barbs at each other. The tension dissipated, and they each grew comfortable around each other again. They both missed this.