Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mix’s heart was heavy. Doing what was right for oneself didn’t always mean it was easy. And he was heartbroken over how things had turned out with Earth. Even Nanon seemed to notice that he wasn’t himself, but Mix simply shrugged his comments off. He would be gone tonight, so there was no need to keep up any pretense or friendliness. Life on this ship hadn’t been entirely bad, but knowing what he knew now, Mix didn’t feel very at home. He was longing for his return to the ocean as much as he feared it. Despite his decision that it was best for him and Earth to be apart, Mix felt empty and sad. When he thought of Earth, he wanted to cry and it didn’t help that Nanon had a stupid book full of poems next to his bed, which Mix had spent the night reading with a candle instead of sleeping. The most heartbreaking poems. Full of longing and sadness and lost love or friendship, a whole section dedicated to mermaids. Why would Nanon even keep such an awful collection? Mix was very sure everyone could see his swollen eyes at the assembly Earth had called together the next morning. But once again: he blissfully would be gone soon, so he didn’t have to care what any of these cursed crew members thought of him.

“This side of the crew will break into two groups. Take the boats and scope the island for treasures, maps or other hints. Whatever can be taken onto the ship, bring it. The rest of the crew, scrub the deck and get ready for inventory, weighing and measurements. We’ll load everything in neatly at once.”

The crew answered with a single aye and got to work. Mix strolled away from the bustling and chaos that was the crew without being held back by anyone. He would have been in the team to prepare the ship for inventory, but he and Earth had other plans, so he headed towards the other side of the ship. The plan was Earth’s idea, because he wanted to be alone with him when Mix turned into a mermaid. The crew would be busy with their scavenger hunt while the two of them rowed around the island to find that shipwreck Earth had been promised. It felt strange that Mix did not look forward to being alone with Earth, when for three weeks he had longed for nothing else. 

Mix stared down at the water, bracing himself for his last mission with Earth. He wouldn’t show any doubt or regret about his decision to him. Or at least he would try not to… Mix could hear his steps getting closer, but he waited with his back turned to the sound and a frantically beating heart until Earth cleared his throat. He turned halfway, just to confirm that it really was Earth standing there, before he gripped the rope to let the boat down onto the water. “Let’s not lose time. I’ll turn soon.”

Earth nodded, gripped the rope on the other side and they let the boat down together in perfect rhythm. It was awfully silent between them while they climbed down and into the boat, all business and no fun. When they started rowing, he could hear every little sound that the sea made while hitting the oars. Mix didn’t dare to say much to Earth nor look at him properly, because he feared for his heart and his tears. But the island was still far away and soon enough, Earth broke their silence.

“Mix. I don’t mean to change your decision. But I need to ask you something about yesterday.”

Mix looked at Earth for a second, avoiding his gaze the next and decided he’d look back to the ship instead, which was sitting in the middle of the ocean with its intense black color and looked huge and magical. Maybe Mix had been naive to think that the crew handling a ship like this could be normal. Maybe he should have understood sooner what Earth had meant when he said he was a cursed Captain. Maybe he should have started to think with his head instead of his heart. Or at least should have done so sooner. Because after breaking up with Earth, Mix had thought about what they had said to each other. To be quite honest, he had thought about nothing else since then, if he wasn’t crying his eyes out over heartbreaking poems. And he understood that Mix had been naive and Earth had been bad at communicating, that they were in a place where they couldn’t be together if they both insisted on staying in their position. Whatever in the world Earth could want to talk about, his decision was firm. He would return home.

“You can ask me.”

Earth seemed to brace himself - or hold back his emotions. Mix couldn’t say. He had lost all confidence in interpreting Earth’s emotions, actions and words.

“You said something about giving me your heart. Your literal heart… What did you mean?”

Mix’s heart sank. Saying that in the heat of their discussion wasn’t smart. He was scared to explain and he had said those words without thinking. Earth didn’t know anything about his mermaid heart and maybe it would have been better if he stayed in the dark about it. Mix hesitated, feeling vulnerable and childish to have given him his heart so soon after meeting him. He could tell Earth to forget about it and leave the question unanswered to protect himself. But he looked at Earth, saw him look back at him with honest curiosity and tenderness. And Mix remembered how they had listened to each other, how Earth had listened to every single word leaving his lips and even during their fight yesterday, he still had listened. They were just themselves again, no curse or crew between them. And maybe this was the only chance they had left to be completely honest with each other for one last time. Mix wanted to be open, wanted to show him that this relationship had not meant nothing to him - and what was a bigger sign of how deep his feelings and respect for Earth ran? So he sighed. He had long stopped rowing and Earth had grabbed the second oar to keep moving them forward.

“I didn’t know about it either…”, Mix began to explain, but felt lost on how he should explain that part to Earth. “Do you know the story of the little mermaid?”

Earth blinked, caught off guard by the apparent change in topic, and Mix finally dared to take such a close look at him that he caught the redness in Earth’s eyes and the sweat beading on his forehead from rowing the boat alone. He still looked gorgeous. And he looked as much in pain as Mix was. “With the sea foam and the prince?”, he asked after thinking about it.

“That one. Apparently, the legend among the merfolk is that she gave away her heart to him. And she…” Mix hesitated to say the word died . He still was scared of the things that would happen to him once he was apart from Earth and would inevitably start to miss him. Just thinking of swimming away later seemed to cause him pain in his chest. “She turned to sea foam from longing for her heart.” 

Earth knew the story and all it took was Mix’s tone to understand the implication. He connected the dots on his own and for a while, it seemed as if his curiosity was stilled. But then his forehead creased and Mix knew that look. He had seen it so much on their island. Suddenly he recognized that here in this boat he was with Earth and Earth only, nothing left of the cold Captain Earth. He had missed that person and their time together. It nearly broke Mix’s resolution to not cry in front of him. He thought about making the offer to run away with him, take him to Tay and have him turn into a merman as well, just so they could find an escape from the curse. But Mix didn’t say anything. Just his soft eyes betrayed him, looking at Earth with so much tenderness, nobody would believe him if he said he had broken up with him.

“And you gave me your heart just like that?”, Earth said quietly.

“I-I… I didn’t know I was doing it. I wouldn’t even have known if things hadn’t turned strange…” 

“Strange in what way?”

“When I told Tay that I wanted to leave with you, he initially denied my request. I felt very, very angry. I cursed at him, ready to do anything to get what I wanted. And that’s when Tay noticed that I must have given my heart away to you…”

Mix sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands. “I didn’t even know that was possible. Or how you do that. Who would have thought that simple happiness could kill you, if you were a mermaid?”

Earth stopped rowing. Mix could feel the boat shake unsteadily as Earth moved closer, forcing Mix to look at him. The worry in Earth’s eyes beat his own worries by far. “Mix, are you going to die if you leave me? Then I can’t let you go.”

Mix wanted to pull away from Earth, but the emotion in his eyes and his words froze him in place. Their boat was bobbing with the waves of the ocean, making it seem as if they were the last two people on this planet, just like back on the island. His own eyes betrayed him, looking back at Earth just as scared and he shook his head, trying to hide his feelings. “I don’t know. Nobody seems to know. I’ll find out…”

Earth sat there, still gripping Mix’s hands and processing the information and insecurity of the situation Mix was in. Mix moved his hand slightly and set himself free from Earth, which released Earth from his thoughts. He moved back to his seat and continued rowing, obviously deeply in thoughts. The mood between them was dampened and Mix wanted to give in and cry out his frustration and fears.

“Do you still want to end the relationship with me?”, Earth suddenly asked. Right this moment? No. Because Earth was Earth again, without the curse and the crew and his strict face. He could let go of his fears if he only stayed close to Earth. He could give in to his longing. He wanted to feel Earth’s touch and wanted to take him and sail away so he could keep the non-Captain version of his lover. But he knew that Earth would turn back into that horrible ice block once they were on that ship and they couldn’t escape the sea witch. So there was nothing for him to say. They were stuck at a dead end and Mix was forced to nod.

“I thought about us. I understand that I also made mistakes. If I had to do it again, I would talk to you sooner and try to understand your relationship with the crew. My own experience counted more than yours… I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you enough to listen to you properly. But if I have to return to the ship and that version of Captain Earth,... I hate that part of you. I’m scared of what else the crew will make you do to me. How many other ways you can hurt me just by being my Captain. I love you , Earth, but if you can’t be yourself,...” Mix couldn’t say anything else.

Their conversation was cut short. Something hit the bottom of their boat and Mix realized that they were very close to the shore. Looking at the water now he saw that there was a landscape or rocks below them, reaching up to them from deep in the ocean and dangerous for any ship sailing this region. Mix had said all he needed and he didn’t want to take a look at Earth’s face when he just confessed how much he loved him, but not if he pretended to be someone else. So he looked intently at the water and what lay below the surface. 

“No wonder there’s a shipwreck.”

“We have to get out here. Be careful of the rocks when you jump in”, Earth explained and started to take off his shirt and secure the materials needed for their treasure dive. Mix stood up carefully, but lost his balance and made a surprised sound - and then he felt the warm and secure arms of Earth around himself. He froze in his embrace, balancing out the bobbing of the boat. However senseless it might be that Earth saved him from falling into the water when they were about to jump into it, Mix enjoyed the moment with the bittersweet thought that this might be the last time he got to feel these arms. When the boat calmed down, Mix waited for Earth to loosen his embrace, but instead he stepped closer, resting his chin on Mix’s shoulder. Their breath became one, slowly expanding their chests and sinking back in and Mix closed his eyes, soaking in the feeling of Earth against his body. 

“I’m so sorry about how things have turned out, Mix. I wish I could change it.”

Mix’s breath caught with those words. It was too late for apologies and the words Earth used meant he knew it as well as Mix. The arms around him became tighter. “I still love you”, Earth’s breathy voice said next to his ear, but the words slipped directly into his heart.

The warm arms disappeared and left Mix feeling cold where they had touched him, while the words seemed to heat up the part in his chest reserved for his heart. It was unfair that they still had to love each other and despite everything, there was no way out for them and their emotions. It was as if they could only escape the maze they were caught in if they separated. And despite their heartfelt words, silence spread between them once again.

•••

Life seemed easier with the first breath Mix took underwater. He couldn’t move his feet apart from each other, but the sensation of kicking water with his fins made him feel at home. He took a few deep breaths, stretched his body and bobbed his head out of the water. “Wait here. I’ll look for the ship.”

Mix didn’t wait for a reply. Earth was still wrapping materials around his body and preparing for the dive. Mix jumped back in, splashing water with his tail as he dove deeper and deeper. The area was full of rocks. He thought that no sane Captain would sail too close to them, if they knew they were here. A good map probably had that information - and Earth had clearly known about where to drop anchor. So those poor souls that wrecked their ship here. Mix wondered how long it had been down here. 

While he swam deeper, he could see beautiful coral reefs with colorful fishes and the sand seemed whiter than any he had seen back where he and Tay’s family lived. Despite that there were deep rock formations reaching up from deeper parts between the areas he could see the sand on and the water got colder when he reached an area where the depth of the ocean suddenly increased. Mix didn’t have to look very far in this open water. He kept close to the rocks and searched the area around them when he saw a dark spot among them. The ship hung almost upside down between two rocks, hadn’t even met the sandy bottom and Mix could see a wide, open gash on one side of the ship when he came closer. A clear collision with the rocks here. They must have sailed too fast and without control to create that kind of damage… Mix decided to focus on finding the treasure first - Earth didn’t have much time after all. So he dove closer and used the first entrance to the ship: the gash at the front which had caused it to sink.

Inside, everything was dark. Mix’s eyes needed to get used to it. Here, the fish swimming around were less colorful. Some ocean plants had made the rotting wood their home and Mix attempted to guess how long the ship had been here. It couldn’t have been too long, since most of the walls were still standing and the sea plants hadn’t covered everything yet. The size of the ship was comfortable - because Mix’s own ship had been roughly this size. Even the inside felt quite familiar, with a similar layout of the rooms. Mix swam through some of them, soon realizing that he might know where the treasures had been stored - and he was right. It took him some strength to open the door, as it was tightly shut, but eventually he got it to open into the hold and found a bunch of chests - probably full of treasure. Everything was upside down, so a gaping hole at the ceiling had dropped some chest to the far away bottom of the ocean, but most of it was still strewn across the ceiling. Mix could look through them later. Since Earth never knew what a treasure was to the witch, they would bring up as much as they could. Mix decided to leave this shipwreck the way he usually would, so he swam deeper into the ocean and through the hole in the ceiling to arrive on deck. He wanted to explore more of the ship, especially the Captain’s cabin, but held back. He could take a look at everything with Earth.

•••

Mix didn’t know what he had expected. Together with Earth they dove into the water, carrying some equipment - mostly knives, nets and ropes - and while they went deeper into the ocean, Mix started to talk. He was nervous with how things were between them. It was too quiet, so his thoughts kept going to only one thing: if Earth could always be like he was now, they would be so happy. Maybe he should not leave him. He could wait back on the island. Maybe they had a future. Those thoughts were scary enough for him to forget that he wanted to talk as little as possible with Earth. And here he was, talking about the ship.

“There is a gash at the side. Probably the reason why they sank. Water flooded the ship from the inside. I might take a look around the area later, some treasures probably drifted out and sank to the bottom of the ocean. Look, there the ship is, hanging between the rocks! It’s eerie yet beautiful.” 

Earth grabbed his arm suddenly and Mix finally took a look at him. A few bubbles escaped his mouth as he signaled him something. Oh. Oh! He needed air. That was why he hadn’t said anything. He couldn’t talk under water. Mix’s face flushed. Was he supposed to…? He looked around, as if someone else could help him, but it was just the two of them. Mix knew he had to act fast, so he grabbed Earth’s face, holding it stable. “I’m doing this because it’s my job, not because I want to kiss you!”

Earth closed his eyes, obviously suffering, so Mix hurried up and put his mouth over his, gently breathing some air into his lungs. Earth didn’t keep the first batch, blowing out bubbles from his nose almost immediately, so Mix grabbed him firmer, breathing more air into him. It felt good. Maybe his lips lingered for a few seconds longer than was necessary. But he didn’t kiss him!

“Just signal if you need more air. I’ll stay close.”

Earth nodded, and Mix wasn’t sure if he had this dreamy look on his face because of the lack of air or because… Mix shook his head.

“We should hurry.”

And just like that, he swam up behind Earth and grabbed his waist, pulling him along to swim at a speed that was more worthy of a mermaid. They reached the ship in no time - Earth needed another breath of air - and he guided him to the gap in the wood. The light didn’t quite reach all the way down here, but Mix’s eyes were used to the darkness of the ocean. Earth on the other hand didn’t see much, but Mix understood his job well enough and swam ahead. He kept describing what he saw, just in case Earth thought anything was useful. They made their way to the hold and looked at the chests.

“It’s right here! This ship’s design is so similar to how mine looked. I can’t wait to see the Captain’s cabin!”, Mix said with a smile and realized too late that he and Earth were in no position to be smiling at each other. He let it fade slowly, self-conscious about the sadness it caused him to have to hold back from Earth. And while Mix didn’t dare to interpret Earth’s emotions anymore, he thought that he looked as if he had similar feelings.

They took in the amount of chests and boxes that were here. Some of the wood had started to fall apart and Mix was glad that they didn’t have to walk on the ship. The wood probably would give in and make them fall through. Earth grabbed his arm and Mix instinctively turned into him, already used to their little procedure. He positioned his hands delicately on his chest, giving himself the illusion that this was just a kiss and not a job of breathing air into Earth on purpose. And while his lips still lingered two seconds longer than needed, Mix was very sure that Earth’s hands also lingered longer than needed on his hips - however they had gotten there. Mix cleared his throat and gestured towards the chests.

“Let’s see if there is something useful in any of these.”

They proceeded to open up chest after chest. It probably didn’t sound like much to Earth, but Mix could hear the wood sighing with every movement and the scratching of one board against the other.  Mix sorted the things they would take and wouldn’t take in different piles, while Earth efficiently reviewed the items. For most of the time, Mix stayed close to him so he could breathe air into him if needed, only drifting away for a few moments when he was sure Earth could take some time alone. With each repeat of their not-kiss Mix felt Earth’s heart get calmer. He had gotten used to the depth of the ocean and the pressure as well as Mix’s presence and his mode of breathing. His focus had shifted away from their problems and was clearly on the treasures in this rotting hold. Mix had just given Earth some air when he turned around to open more chests further away from Earth when he heard a tumult. As he turned back to Earth, he saw bubbles escaping his mouth and something going after him. It took him two endless seconds to make out the long tentacle that was reaching for him. Earth might see it, but his movement inside the water was too slow. Mix hurried to him and shielded him from the tentacle. Panic squeezed his chest and Earth lost some air in surprise. With its sucker cups, the creature was stuck to Mix’s arm. He slapped it away with his hand, leaving an angry, bleeding circle on his arm. With a turn, he hit the tentacle away with his fin while he grabbed for Earth and pulled his mouth on his. Among all of their exchanges so far, this was the least like a kiss. There was no lingering. He gave Earth what he needed and pushed him away.  “Swim to land!”, Mix yelled and turned around just in time. The octopus had freed itself from the hole it had hidden in and charged towards them - but instead of targeting Mix, it had made out Earth as the weaker link, since he moved slower in the water. Mix grabbed one of its tentacles in an attempt to drag it away from Earth, but it escaped him. Earth, instead of swimming out of the ship, took one of the holes in the wall and swam on deck, escaping the grabby octopus by a breath. Mix was right behind them, air bubbles in the water blurring his sight from the frantic movements of the three of them. 

Earth kicked the head of the octopus when it came too close, struggling to keep up his speed. Mix was sure he was struggling with the air in his lungs because of the stress straining his calmness, but there was no time to give him air. There were tentacles all around Earth and Mix needed to get him out of danger. Mix was fast enough to slap some of the tentacles away and drag Earth further along the deck and just when he thought they were done with the predator, he could feel his waist being grabbed. “Swim!”

He didn’t have enough time to think of his next steps. He was pulled back towards the sea creature and Earth disappeared into the Captain’s cabin. While he might be safe from the creature, he would not survive for long without Mix. Panic grew in his chest. For Earth, not for himself. Earth needed air. Frantically he tried to escape the tight grip but it only made him feel more out of breath. He grabbed one end of the tentacle and pulled it up to his mouth and bit it hard and deep. It took seconds, but the creature felt the pain and drew the tentacle back while Mix focused on slapping away the rest of them. Mix contemplated following Earth, but he doubted the door would hold up if the octopus attacked it. He needed to lure their attacker away. And so he swam away, returned to taunt it when it didn’t follow him at first and screamed at it aggressively. “Come here, you ugly bastard! I’m your enemy now! I’m your target, if you even dare!” 

When it charged at him, he felt a surreal amount of relief - and started to swim back where they had come from. It followed him back into the hold, where Mix was thinking frantically for a solution - and found it in the form of the chests there. Some might have started to dissolve already, but there were some that might be strong enough. He didn’t have much room to think of a better plan, so he swam towards one big box and when the dark creature charged at him, he used his tail to slap it further along the way, right into the storage box. The second it took for it to realize what had happened was when Mix closed the lid, squeezing in some of the tentacles. The lid didn’t want to stay in place at first, but as the creature retracted its tentacles inside, he finally was able to close it. He was worried it wouldn’t hold - but it did. Exactly two seconds. He allowed himself to wait two seconds and see if the crate would stay closed, and then he made haste to swim back towards the Captain’s cabin. His breath was frantic and he kept repeating in his mind: please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.

It took him some time to open the door to the cabin, but he pulled it open with the strength of desperation. With the worst in mind, he was not prepared for the many impressions that flooded him. There Earth was, floating in the middle of the room - and looking attentively through the things in the room. He was all right. He was calmly looking back at Mix, who couldn’t bring himself to move. Earth pointed up and Mix followed his finger to see that there seemed to be a bubble of air in this room. He had been able to breathe. He was fine. A wave of relief should have loosened up the tense muscles in Mix’s body, but other impressions started to focus. He stared at the furniture in the room - completely chaotic, broken and lying on the ceiling. Still, they were unmistakable. That was his bed. His table. The goblet Earth just looked at was his favorite. On one of the walls was still a big, framed picture, halfway reaching into the air bubble above them. It was one of the luxuries in his cabin, because he had it framed in glass. But if this furniture was his, then this ship…

Mix sobbed and sank to the ceiling, his body shaking. This was his ship. His ship had sunk. What happened to his crew? What happened to First and the others? How long had it been? Earth let go of the goblet and swam towards Mix, cupping his cheeks and making their eyes meet. There was a clear question in his eyes and Mix knew what he was saying but he couldn’t squeeze any words out between his grief, worry and tears. He grabbed Earth’s hands holding him as a way to anchor his thoughts and his being. At least he wasn’t alone at this moment. It took a few moments until he calmed down enough to say: “We’re on my ship!”

Earth’s eyes widened and his eyes spoke thousands of words while Mix gave way to another wave of tears. Realizing Mix’s grief, Earth tapped his chest and pointed at the air looming over them before he swam towards it to gulp some air. Mix tried his best to calm down, but when he followed him and his face broke water, floating next to Earth, he continued to weep. “This is your ship? Are you sure?”, Earth said heavily out of breath. Mix wanted to say something, but his throat felt impossibly tight, so only a little howl escaped him and he nodded.

“My men, no… My friends…”, Mix finally pressed out some words, sniffling his sadness back so he could make sense of this. His thoughts went to the moment when they had last seen his crew. At least they had survived the storm - this place was too far away from where he had started his new life. “They must have reached this place without guidance. Not looked at the map. Maybe they were in another storm and the ship was damaged…” Earth pulled him into an awkward hug, trying to keep himself afloat and comforting Mix at the same time. “They are fine. We didn’t find any skeletons, Mix. No corpses in here.”

Mix cried against his chest, thinking about his words and he wasn’t sure he believed him. What if the octopus and other monsters had just eaten them already? What if they sank deeper to the ocean floor, not able to stay on the ship. They might have jumped into the sea before they sank. “They couldn’t eat your whole crew as cleanly as this. And we can look around for human remains, but I’m sure we won’t find anybody. This doesn’t look like a ghost ship.” Mix hadn’t realized he was mumbling all his theories aloud, but Earth answered to them in the most serious way. His words were words of comfort and Mix felt them calm his heart. They put hope into him when he had lost so much of it. Losing First right after he lost Earth was too much for him. He needed to at least believe he could keep one of them. So he soothed his nerves with the warmth Earth tried to give him, repeated his words with the same calm tone he used in his mind and slowly believed him. “Yes. Yes, you’re right. They are capable. They could escape a sinking ship. And it’s so close to an island… Most of them can swim.” Mix sniffled once more and pushed himself gently away from Earth, looking at him shyly. “I’m sorry. I was so shocked…”

“Don’t be sorry. I’ll always be here for you, no matter if you’re my lover or not…”

Silence stretched between them and Mix wanted nothing more than to reverse what he had said. It was a curse that he was too realistic and knew that nothing would change. He held on to that thought to keep himself from falling back into Earth’s arms and concentrated on the warmth his words spread in his chest. Even without kisses and intimacy, Earth was there for him. Mix would be there for him, too. He gestured back into the water. “You should take what you need and we can make our way up.” 

“Yes… You’re right. We should.”

Mix wondered what went through Earth’s head in these moments of silence, but as soon as his head was back in the water, he saw the familiar interior and his thoughts went back to his crew and the ship’s fate. No corpses. He repeated Earth’s words in his head. And he was right. Not a single dead person must mean something , right? Earth touched him on his arm, as he had simply stared at the glass framed picture in his cabin, and gestured to him to take some of the treasure and that he was ready to swim up. Right. He should focus on getting Earth back onto his ship. He could look around his own ship later.

•••

It took them multiple trips down to the ship, but they did fill up the whole boat with treasure and just left enough space for Earth to sit somewhere. The sudden drop in depth of the ocean was a blessing. Earth stood in knee-high water while Mix helped anchor the boat and swam comfortably. It was a strange moment. The sun had started to sink deeper already and Mix knew it was time to say goodbye. It was obvious that he was reluctant. Earth didn’t seem much more eager. Why did it have to be like this? 

“Mix…”, Earth finally broke the silence.

“Yes?”, he answered with hope, but once again, silence took up space between them. He could clearly hear the sound of the water around them, some small waves hitting the boat he held on to and the seagulls shouting in the distance and far above their heads. 

“I would regret not saying anything, so please let me say everything that is on my mind. It would be a lie to say I wouldn’t hope to change your mind after all, despite having said I don’t mean to, but I can’t leave things as they are if I haven’t even said anything yet.”

Those were a lot of words for something with little meaning and it made Mix realize how nervous Earth seemed. He barely looked at him, played around with his fingers and bit his bottom lip. It all stopped when he took a deep breath and stepped closer. 

“It’s my fault I didn’t notice your feelings. I was focused on my crew, the ship and the curse too much to see what my actions changed between us and the weight you carried on your shoulders. But why did you think you had to carry it alone? Together we are so much stronger and we can do anything. I thought this sailing season could really be my last. With you by my side, it seemed possible. But I realize that I wanted to keep you by my side like some lucky charm, when you wanted to be what we really are: partners. And if I could… If I had the chance to do things differently from here on… Mix, I would do everything right for us. Only then do I have hope of lifting my curse.”

There was a brief pause. Mix thought about what he said. He thought about how realistic it would be for him to actually change. And he might have asked him about more details, if he didn’t see and finally hear the person running towards Earth. They had been focused on each other so much, they didn’t hear the splashing footsteps coming rapidly closer behind Earth. 

“Careful!”, Mix managed to call out and Earth turned back in time to duck away from Nanon and his drawn weapon. Earth didn’t wear a shirt yet and the only weapon he could draw was a dirk, which was no match for Nanons sword. Still, he drew the dirk and took on a fighting stance. 

“Wonderful to meet you alone out here”, Nanon said. He probably hadn’t seen Mix in the water, his head hidden behind the boat he was holding on to. 

“What are you doing, Nanon? Do you think attacking your Captain will turn out well for our future travels?”, Earth asked, trying to win some time to form a plan.

“Future travels? I’ve waited long enough. Only one of us will have future travels. This is where we decide who returns to the ship a Captain and who stays here a corpse.”

Earth didn’t say anything in return. He could see the madness in Nanon’s eyes, the certainty that this was the right thing to do and seconds later, Nanon attacked him with a howl. Mix could only watch from afar how Nanon tried to strike Earth’s body while he defended himself. He hesitated, scared of what would happen if Nanon found out he was a merman. But when Nanon struck Earth’s chest and drew the slightest amount of blood, Mix couldn’t stop himself anymore. He swam as close as the sand allowed him, before he made Nanon aware of his presence. 

“Stop it, Nanon!”, he called out and Earth let out a low “No”. Earth shook his head at Mix, telling him to swim away, but it was too late. Nanon looked at him, too. 

“Mix was here?”, Nanon asked. “I knew there was something strange between you two. But I can take on both of you, don’t worry!”, he said, eager to end the fight with Earth. He drew back to attack him, not wasting the chance to strike his Captain while he didn’t have a weapon to strike back with, but Mix threw himself as far as he could into the shallow part of the water and grabbed Nanon’s ankle. 

He closed his eyes firmly, realizing that grabbing his ankle would not stop him from killing Earth and he could do nothing with this body. So he waited for the inevitable - but Earth didn’t make a sound and Nanon fell silent, too.

“A mermaid…”

Mix looked up and Nanon stared at him in absolute awe. It seemed he had forgotten about Earth completely. 

“You were so close. But… how? You had legs just this morning…?”

Mix was confused and as Nanon slowly stepped closer to him, he let go of Nanon and pushed himself back into the water. “Mix, swim away!”, Earth called out, sensing the same strangeness in Nanon that Mix sensed. Something was going on and it didn’t feel right. He could feel his heart beating harshly against his chest, as if it wanted to jump out. He was scared. But why? What had he missed? Why did Nanon fix him with his gaze now? Earth didn’t understand either, but fear was written all over his face.

“Nanon. Leave him alone. You’re fighting me!”

But Nanon wasn’t listening to him. He laughed in an unsettling way and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. He stepped closer, until he couldn’t feel the floor below his feet. Mix floated some distance away, looking warily at him. He wasn’t sure if he should swim away or stay, in case he tried to hurt Earth. But he couldn’t read Nanon. 

Nanon still stared at him, throwing away the big sword and drawing a dagger instead. Mix held his breath. “I’m not fighting you anymore”, he answered Earth without looking at him, revealing that he had been listening. “I have a new goal. You stay the Captain of the damned. I’ll either be dead or free by tonight!”

With a big growl he jumped into the water, nearly hitting Mix. Not sure what to do, Mix dove under water. A curtain of bubbles made it hard for him to see, but even as he tried to bring some distance between himself and the unsettled water, everything happened very fast. He felt Nanon grab his tail and as he tried to hit him with it, he felt a splitting pain in it. With renewed strength he hit Nanon across the upper body and managed to have him lose his dagger. It was enough to bring some distance between them. Mix considered drowning him. He just needed to drag him down far enough, holding onto his body and-

Nanon wasn’t in the water anymore. Earth had followed them into the ocean and was dragging his enemy out of the water and away from Earth. Nanon didn’t react nearly as much as would be appropriate, mostly slapping away Earth’s hands and keeping his head out of the water. Something shimmered between his fingers and Mix realized that it was one of his own scales. Now that he saw it, he could see and smell the blood in the water. A soft burn on his tail told him that this was the wound Nanon had caused. Mix followed the two humans out of the water, lying on the sand and looked on as Earth dragged Nanon with him, pushed him into the sand and sat on top of him to hit him straight in the face. It was no surprise attack and Nanon could have dodged some of the blow but instead he laughed, gargling at the end of it because some of the water found its way into his mouth.

“You crazy bastard! What did you do to Mix?”, he shook him and readied himself to cause him another blow.

“Earth!”, he called out. With a last look at Nanon, who was completely focused on the scale in his hands, he let go of him and ran over to Mix. He hugged him in the best possible way in this position, half in the water, half out of it and checked his body frantically.

“Did he hurt you? Are you all right? What happened?”, he asked. 

Mix let himself be hugged and examined, unable to hide his happiness about the attention and worry Earth showed him - and that everything seemed to be all right and he wouldn’t kill Nanon. 

“He took a scale. But why?”, Mix asked and turned his head to look at Nanon.

“I don’t know, but if he has a problem, he should take it up with me! If he lays one more finger on you, I’llー”

“Who’s that?”, Mix asked when he saw that some woman was standing in the water next to Nanon. Earth stopped mid-sentence, following Mix’s concerned look and he turned pale.

“The sea witch.”

“Long time no see, Captain.”

Earth nodded, obviously not too happy about their encounter under these circumstances. “What a pain it must be that Nanon was able to clear his contract before you.”

Mix’s eyes widened in surprise and Earth looked as if he had eaten some bitter candy. 

“The scale of a mermaid… I thought I was tricked. But it was real. Merpeople are real!”, Nanon said, not hiding his happiness in the least. He was free. He wouldn’t return to the ship and he didn’t bother going back to bring any of his belongings. Books with poems of mermaids were useless now that he had found one. All he had to do was start his life anew. Somehow among all the pain Mix could see with Nanon and Earth, Mix still started to wonder if he could strike a deal with the sea witch to set Earth free - at least as a mermaid he couldn’t serve on the ship, if she didn’t give him legs. And with legs, he could at least have Earth by his side. While thinking about the good and bad parts of such a deal, the witch took the scale from Nanon’s hands and smiled at him.

“Your contract is fulfilled. You are free to leave.”

Nanon smiled, blood drying in the corner of his mouth from where Earth had hit him. And he didn’t waste even one second. He turned around and left just like that. There was no need to say goodbye to Earth, as they didn’t have any close relationship. He surely didn’t want to see the sea witch again and Mix… He probably didn’t even think about Mix anymore. Like that, he was free and Mix felt like crying. He wanted this simple freedom for Earth and himself. Knowing that Earth had to find his home, Mix thought more than ever about what the solution to this riddle could be. It obviously wasn’t as straightforward as Nanon’s quest, since Earth had a whole island of his own. He had a person he felt close with. Yet he hadn’t found his home or the sea witch would have appeared before him.

Mix sighed with relief, but Earth stared at the sea witch, no relaxation in him. It caused Mix to look closer at her. She was a seemingly young person, but with the aura of a wise granny. It was the way she moved that made her seem old and slow, but her softness and appearance made her look young. If Mix didn’t know it better, he would have said that she, too, was a mermaid.

“You may stare at me all you want, Captain, but it won’t be the solution to your quest.”

That made him look down briefly. 

“Can’t you let me free?”, he asked and when she smiled in a very amused way, he nodded as if he had known the answer. Begging was useless. “Can I at least have a hint?”

She made a soft thinking noise, tapping her peachy lips and then looked at Mix. “I think you are closer than you ever were, Captain. I think if you keep up your course, you’ll reach your goal sooner than I’d like you to. Good luck!”, she said and started to walk away, but stopped a pace later. She chuckled as she turned around.

“That is… If your merman decides to stay with you.”

Mix stared at her as she finally walked away. He looked at Earth and their eyes met - and when he looked back to where the sea witch had stood, she was gone.

“What does she mean?”, he asked Earth, but he could only shake his head. 

“It doesn’t matter. I won’t force you to stay next to me.”

His head hurt. There was so much to consider and think about, so much new input. His tail hurt as well as his heart and he was overwhelmed with the things that he needed to decide - or un-decide. He put his head into one hand, massaging one of his temples. Earth walked over to him, sitting down beside him and looking at Mix with worry.

“Are you all right?”

Mix shook his head. 

“How can I help you?”, Earth asked and pushed Mix’s hand away softly to start massaging his temples in turn. Mix looked up, letting Earth touch him gently and looked into his eyes.

“If you could do things differently… If we returned to the ship together, what would you do?”

Earth’s movement froze for a second as hope crept into his face. Mix couldn’t hear it but he imagined that Earth’s heart was beating faster. 

“We would have to wait for the full crew to return. And then I would have to introduce you to them properly as my boyfriend. That your word is the same as my word and nobody is to lay a hand on you. We’d have to tell them that Nanon is free and ask them if anybody else thinks they’re a better Captain and talk about why they think so. We could list up everyone’s curses and see where to sail next to find the solution for most of them. And then we would have to bring your stuff into my cabin andー”

Mix put his hand on Earth’s lips to stop him.

“When did you think about all of that?”

“From the day you broke up with me. I thought about why I had to be so cold to my crew and why I led them with strictness. I was scared to lose my position, my life and the ability to choose where to go from. All those fears are still here, but you know what I fear more?”

Mix shook his head, even if he hoped to know the answer.

“I fear most that I can lose you. I’d rather be degraded to crew member than lose you.”

Earth had stopped his massage and let his forehead sink against Mix’s.

“So if there is any chance you would agree to this plan… Mix, please come with me. Please give me another chance?”

Mix breathed out shakily and cupped Earth’s face to give him a lingering kiss. It was more so for his own healing and longing than as a sign that he accepted his proposal. Earth pulled him closer to his body, deepening the kiss at once as if he had been thirsty for days. They sat there, kissing each other for so long, Mix had forgotten half the things he wanted to think about. The most important thing was that Earth wanted to do better. When they finally stopped kissing, Mix didn’t let go of his face. He made Earth look into his eyes.

“If you promise to leave behind the ice-cold Captain Earth and his punishments, I promise that I will share my worries with you and that I will talk about things that bother me.”

Earth gave him a kiss as an answer, quick and happy. “I promise. I’ll just be myself on the ship.”

“Then… Let’s bring these things back and set your plan in motion.”

•••

It was their third dinner together in the captain’s cabin. Within the last three days so many things had happened. After he had brought Earth back to the ship, Mix dove once more back to his own ship. He took a closer look around, picked up his favorite goblet and other random things he thought would be treasure enough - and what he thought for most were signs of death. But the ship was empty of any human body. Even when he dove around the area, looking at the bottom of the deepest part of the sea around it, there were no corpses. It only gave him half the peace of mind he wished to have. The possibilities were still endless. Fish eating corpses. The death being so long ago, they were taken by the sea and pushed into a different corner. But he tried to stay positive. For his own sake, he would believe that First was alive. And he would meet him some day. 

Earth’s promise held tight. The crew was very much surprised by his sudden change in character. Some even tried to duel Earth for the position as Captain - but nobody won against him and the others welcomed the list of curses and a new plan to help each other lift them. The fact that Nanon had escaped made others optimistic and full of energy. So everything had turned out better than expected and Earth’s fear of a rioting crew had been unfounded. But thanks to his braveness in facing this fear, they were now sitting together in their cabin, still a pair and arguably much more in love than they had been before. The problems they had overcome made them closer.

After finishing their dinner, they sorted through some of the treasures. With the list of curses at hand, they checked if anybody had to find a different material. Mix personally had checked if maybe another sailor needed a scale, a drop of blood, a lock of hair or a kiss from a mermaid before he drank his potion to turn into a human. Earth didn’t look amused when Mix joked about the kiss - but he would readily give it to the sailors. He’d want anybody with the solution to help Earth, too. 

“Should we hang up the map from your ship?”, Earth asked and pointed at the map behind glass. Despite being framed, more than half of the map was wet and wavy, a big part of it started to dissolve. So Mix shook his head. “We can put something else behind in the frame. This one also didn’t bring much luck to my ship. It’s better to get rid of it.”

Mix opened up the frame carefully and took out the map, when some paper fell to the floor. It looked as if it were in good condition and free from any signs of water. That piece probably had been stuck behind the map in the part that stood out of the water into the air bubble. Earth picked up the paper and looked at it. 

“What is it?”, Mix asked.

“A map… It looks like a treasure map. And if I’m honest, the formation of these islands looks a lot like our island.”

Mix tried to hide the happiness the little mention of our island made, since they were talking about something important here. He crumpled up the destroyed map and walked over to Earth to take a look himself. 

“You’re right. I wonder how it ended up in there.”

“Mix… It’s your map but how about we sail there and see if the treasure is real? We only have two months left. If you have to return to the ocean before we find anythingー”

“No, Earth, we will find the solution to your curse.”

“I’m just saying, if not… I’d feel much better leaving you with Tay and in an area that you know. That octopus opened my eyes to the dangers under the sea.”

He could understand Earth. His arm still throbbed from the wound caused by the octopus. The place where Nanon had taken out a scale was a deep wound in his leg. Mix wasn’t even confident he’d find his way back to Tay.

“We can head there. I just don’t want to hear anything about unsolved curses. There’s so many islands there, maybe one of them is the solution. With two months left, we can find the treasure and visit all the surrounding places. Maybe one of them is the right place?”, he said with hope. What the sea witch had told them was still in their minds. They were close. If Mix stayed with Earth, they had a high chance to find his home. It made everything between them better. Not only because they finally talked with each other and didn’t fear the men on the ship anymore. They also felt secure in their relationship. They were meant to be together, even a sea witch had told them. With the exception of some moments, when the crew was bordering on disrespect, Earth had kept his promise. He had let go of the old Captain Earth and was just Earth. His Earth. He put the map on the table and pulled Mix closer to his body, enveloping him in a warm hug and just giving enough space so he could look at Mix’s face.

“Why don’t we call it an early night and sleep soon?”, he asked.

Mix couldn’t help but grin. “Sleep? You call that sleeping?”

Earth chuckled, planting a kiss on Mix’s neck which caused a pleasant wave of goosebumps all over his body. “It is sleeping. Sleeping together.”

Mix sighed happily and let his fingers glide over Earth’s chest, stopping at his nipple to squeeze softly. As expected, Earth gave him a soft moan.

“If what we do is called sleeping, what’s that sound you made, then? Snoring?”

Earth bit softly into the soft skin at his neck, teasing him and covering the same area with kisses instantly. “I don’t snore. I must be dreaming of something nice.” 

Mix laughed and hit his arm lightly.

“Let’s sleep early, then. Lock the door and blow out the candles. And tomorrow we can sail towards our home.”