Chapter Text
For the rest of the morning, Jason drifts around the house without any purpose. Bruce and Alfred and Dick had all promised to take him to the pool whenever he wanted, but the thought of going into the water just makes him sad right now.
And even though he’s always been a little curious about what the inside of the manor was like, it doesn’t feel that interesting today. If he’s going to be stuck like this for forever, why should he get all excited about sofas and ovens and drywall and everything? He can just figure it all out the next day or the day after that or the day after that.
The wheels on his chair roll silently across the floor and he sticks his head into a million rooms, each one looking pretty much the same as the last. Why do humans have so many chairs? It’s even more obvious here than it is down in the cave. Instead of filling up their rooms with different versions of the same type of furniture, they should just all get ones with wheels on them.
“Jason.”
Bruce is standing at the end of the hall, and there’s a weird look on his face. One that’s a little guilty and a little nervous and a little sad all at once.
“Did Zatanna call?” Jason asks.
“No, not yet. I’m sorry.”
He shrugs. That’s what he had expected anyway.
“I thought—” Bruce’s voice catches, and it takes him a second to keep talking. “I want to show you something I think you’ll like.”
Warily, Jason pushes his wheels so he can roll closer to Bruce. He’s getting really good at steering by now.
Bruce tilts his head to the side and leads Jason through a doorway and into a room that feels weirdly silent. It’s full of shelves that have stacks and stacks of small rectangles on them. Jason leans forward to get a better look and, oh, they’re books.
He knows what those are. Sometimes Alfred will bring books to the pool when he’s spending time with Jason and a couple times Dick has, too. Bruce always seems to like reading off his phone or his tablet.
In the last couple years, Jason’s been really into learning how to read. It’s way better than the ‘TV’ or ‘movies’ Dick tries to get him into, and there are so many interesting stories. On bad days, Jason can read to forget about some of the things that have happened to him, and on good days, he can read stories that remind him that other people have been through bad times, too.
He’s never used books though.
Apparently, paper doesn’t do well with water, even though that’s always felt like a lame reason since it’s not like any of the rectangles (‘electronics’, Jason’s been told) are all that great in the water anyway.
But now, Bruce is running his fingers along the backs of the books as words tumble out of him in a rush.
“This is the library. I know you like to read, and I know we have a copy of the Outsiders somewhere here.”
That’s the book Jason has been reading on the ‘Kindle’ tablet Bruce had given him. It’s kinda annoying to use while it’s wrapped in a waterproof plastic bag, and even more annoying because he has to give it up way too often for it to be charged. Right now, it’s tucked in one of Jason’s pools down in the Batcave. There’s no way he can swim well enough to get it, and there’s also no way he’s going to admit that to anyone else.
But he does want to know what happens next…
“Oh, here it is!” Bruce’s face lights up as he pulls a slim book from the shelf and hands it to Jason. “Do you remember your spot? The page numbers might be different, but the chapters will be the same.”
“Yeah, I can figure it out. Just because I have legs now doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”
The corner of Bruce’s mouth lifts into a smile. “Well, look, I know waiting around is hard, but this might be a good way to pass the time. I’ve got some work to get done, but I have my laptop.” Gesturing, he points to one of the squashy ‘armchairs’ that’s a few feet away.
It’s … it’s a lot like all those hours Jason has spent with Bruce down in the cave. Bruce working while Jason explores or exercises or reads. They keep each other company while doing their own thing and it’s… it’s nice to have something still be the same.
“Okay,” Jason agrees. “We can do that.”
The book is dry (just like everything else) and smells kind of funny, but once Jason gets going with it, he likes it better than the Kindle thing. The texture of the paper is interesting, and he gets to actually turn the individual pages. Bruce gets sucked deep into his computer like always, but he’s still there, making the strange room feel not as strange.
And the library is actually really cool. Jason can read the titles of the books on the shelves, and he recognizes a few of them. Some he’s read before, and others he hasn’t. He can’t see the covers of any of them, but the letters all have different styles, and the colours are different, too.
Some of them even have pictures on their sides, and Jason’s eyes widen when he catches sight of a book with a whale picture. It’s titled ‘Moby Dick’.
There’s really a book about a whale that has the name ‘Dick’? Obviously, Jason is going to have to read it. The problem is that it’s on the top shelf and there’s no way Jason can reach that high.
Bruce is staring at his computer with that little wrinkle he always gets between his eyebrows and Jason doesn’t want to interrupt him. And he wants to finally do something for himself today.
Slowly, he stretches his arm as high as it will go. He’s not even close to reaching the book, but the movement makes him shift in his chair and he remembers his legs. They’re pretty long. Not as long as his tail, obviously, but not terrible. If he were… standing on them, could he get up to the top shelf?
He pulls the blanket off, nose wrinkling as he gets another look at them. It’s weird, yeah, but also… maybe they could be useful?
Clumsily, he moves one leg into place on the floor, and then the other. The wood feels cold on his… his feet, but it’s the least uncomfortable sensation about this whole thing, so he grits his teeth and gets on with it. He puts The Outsiders down on an empty spot and then uses his hands to grab onto the shelf that’s about eye level with him. Then, he leverages himself up.
It’s totally impossible to find his balance, but giving up is not going to happen, so he relies on his hands to hold him in place. He’s still not tall enough and— Oh, yeah. He has knees that can go straight, and he gets even taller as he stretches up. He’s high enough to grab onto the next highest shelf.
And then, breath held, he takes one hand off and reaches up, higher and higher still until he can take hold of the book and yank it out of its place.
“Jason!”
It’s Bruce!
Twisting around, Jason holds his prize up for Bruce to see. He opens his mouth to explain everything, but that’s when he gets in trouble. He’s only got one hand on the shelf, and his stupid lumpy feet get crossed over when he turns around. That makes everything else get all messed up and his very fragile balance is totally lost.
He crashes down on the wooden floor, and even though it’s not the stone of the cave, it’s still hard. There’s pain in his shoulder and there’s a scratch on his hand. The wind is knocked out of his lungs and he’s blinking hard.
But he’s got his book clutched tightly in his grasp, and he did that all on his own.
It’s totally worth it.
“Don’t let go.”
“I’m not going to.”
“No, seriously, Bruce, if you let go—”
“I’ve got you, Jaylad. I promise.”
Bruce’s arms are strong and steady, and Jason tests the embrace by pushing against them just a little. They hold firm.
“C’mon, Jay, I know you can do it!” There’s a giant, irritating grin spread across Dick’s face and it’s motivating Jason to walk just so he can get over there and wipe it off himself. Although that would only make Dick’s smile even harder to get rid of so it wouldn’t really solve anything.
Taking a deep breath, Jason tries to remember everything Bruce has taught him. He shifts his weight onto one leg, finds his balance there, and then shuffles his free foot forward before planting it on the floor.
“That’s great! First step down!” For a second, Bruce’s hold switches more to a hug before shifting back into giving support.
“It’s not that big a deal.” There’s a grin stretched across Jason’s face that’s probably as big as Dick’s right now, so his words aren’t that convincing. But it doesn’t really matter. He had walked.
Now that the first hurdle has been cleared, it’s easier to keep going. His steps are still stupidly wobbly, but he gets one in after the other, and soon he’s barely even using Bruce to keep upright.
And, wait, Bruce isn’t even holding onto him anymore!
“B! You—” Jason tips forward, and suddenly Bruce is there again, catching him and keeping him upright even though he lost his balance completely. “You let go!”
“You were doing so well,” Bruce says. “Give it a couple more goes and you’re not even going to need me anymore.”
“Oh my god,” Dick interrupts. “B, it’s like you’re teaching him to ride a bike.”
“It’s not—”
“Why would I have to ride a bike? I’m already learning walking and it’s hard enough!”
“No, Jay, it’s just…” Bruce blows out a sigh. “Dick’s been steeped in too much sappy pop culture, that’s all.”
“Oh.” Jason wrinkles his nose. Stuff like that still comes up pretty often. He may be mostly living with humans, but he still doesn’t understand a lot of human culture. Although now that he’s thinking about it, a bike could be fun…
“Anyway.” Bruce adjusts his hold on Jason and steers him around to face the opposite direction. “You ready to give it another go?”
Jason grins. “Hell yeah.”
An hour later, Jason’s human legs feel wobbly and weak but also, weirdly, they’re the best they’ve been since they first got attached to his body. As a break, Dick’s hanging out with Jason at the outdoor pool.
It’s still totally embarrassing that Jason needs Dick around just in case, but besides that, it’s… not too bad. He’s sitting on the edge of the pool and his weird hairy legs are dangling in the water. It’s warm enough that he doesn’t need a shirt, but he’s wearing a pair of black swim trunks that cling to his body the second they get wet.
“It’s still dumb that humans need these,” he decides.
Dick lets out a huff from the lounge chair he’s stretching out on. “Sorry, kid, I’m not prepared to see your whole package right now.”
Jason’s nose wrinkles. Okay, yeah, fair point. He’d definitely rather cover all that ‘stuff’ up. But there’s other stuff he’d also like to cover up.
“Everyone can see your toes,” he points out. “How come that’s okay?”
The ice in Dick’s drink clinks as he pauses for a second. Then he shakes his head. “Okay, I can’t tell if you’re just messing with me now.”
Jason shrugs. “Toes are gross. And I didn’t use them to balance when I was walking, anyway.”
“No, you did, Jay, you probably just didn’t realize.”
He scoffs, but before he can shoot back a reply, a new voice interrupts them.
“This looks nice.”
It’s Zatanna. Jason recognizes her almost instantly. But, in the split second before he does, he’s so thrown that he loses his balance again and splashes into the pool. And he wasn’t even standing!
There’s no way he’s making someone save him from the water again. He may be sinking like a stone and incapable of breathing, but he can still take a moment, orient himself, and find the bottom of the pool with his feet. He’s on the shallow end, so as soon as he gets his new, uncooperative limbs beneath him, he pushes up until his head breaks the surface of the water.
Huh. It’s actually easier to stand in the pool. Maybe he hasn’t lost his home as much as he thought.
Dick’s looking panicked, but Zatanna just seems amused. Jason really doesn’t want to talk about his stupid clumsiness, so he flicks water out of his hair and gives the magician a nod.
“Hi.” Maybe if he plays it cool, she’ll think he did it on purpose.
“Hi, Z,” Dick says. “I guess this means you figured something out?”
“I sure did.” She smiles and then turns to Jason. “Let’s get your dad out here, and then we’ll talk, okay?”
Okay, but Bruce isn’t— Well, not officially…
Jason’s still trying to think of how to reply when Bruce actually does come out (Alfred following behind) and the moment’s passed.
“It should be pretty simple,” Zatanna explains. “You’ll just need to be prepared. Jason’s going to be tired afterwards.”
Bruce nods. “We’ll make sure he rests.”
It’s stupid, all the people hovering around Jason. When he’s back to normal, he’ll be able to take care of himself again. He won’t need to live in that stifling house where everyone’s so close that they’re nearly on top of him. He’ll be back to living in the water, separate from—
There’s a weird flip in his stomach, and he pushes all those thoughts away. He’ll be normal again. That’s what he needs more than anything.
“Do I need to get out of the pool for the spell?” he asks.
Zatanna shakes her head. “It’ll be easier for you to transform where you’re already comfortable. But can you come a bit closer?”
Even though he’s figured out how to not drown, moving around in the pool is still awkward. His arms slice through the water like they always have, but the dragging weight of his legs and the lack of fins makes it hard. It’s so far from what he’s used to feeling. At least he’s not going to have to put up with it for much longer.
Zatanna’s kneeling on the pool deck and smiling at him. She’s done something so that she’s almost hovering over the wet concrete, which seems really dumb. Why would she want to be separate from the water?
“It’ll soon be over,” she tells him. Her voice is warm and soothing. “It won’t hurt, but you might feel some discomfort.”
He remembers how it felt the first time: the shifting and fusing of bones, the squelching of internal organs, the stretching of muscles he hadn’t even owned before. A shudder rushes through him, and he can see Bruce stepping closer, bending his knees and hips and reaching his arm out to Jason.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t touch him,” Zatanna interrupts. “I can’t risk any interference.”
Somehow, Jason’s shoulder aches for Bruce’s touch even though he hadn’t even felt it yet. It’s just… Bruce has been right there ever since last night. And now he can’t be, and Jason doesn’t… he doesn’t really want…
There’s some sort of sympathetic apology in Zatanna’s eyes, and that makes him refocus. He’s not a baby anymore. He’s done tons of stuff by himself. He can do this, too.
“I want to start,” he says, pressing his feet into the rough pool bottom so that he can be as tall as possible.
With a nod, Zatanna starts waving her stick. It swirls in complicated circles above Jason’s head and a white glowing light pulses from its end.
Jason’s stomach is swirling in the exact same way. His insides are melting and moving and reforming just like they had yesterday. Is he gonna puke again? He really should have asked that.
There’s a tug on his lower half, and he collapses into the water like an eel. He’s totally submerged, and the warm, writhing feeling crawls all over him. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s that same feeling of intense wrong, and Jason’s thrashing in the water even though he’s trying to stay in control.
But there is no control he can have here. His body is changing and nothing’s where it should be. He’s messed up and he can’t move right, and he can’t even feel right anymore.
There’s something stretching open on either side of his throat. Did Zatanna cut him? Something had to have gone wrong and now he’s going to sink to the bottom of the pool, bleeding out until someone realizes that he’s going to—
Oh. Wait. He knows what this is. These are his gills!
Blessed instinct leads him on as he draws water into his body and lets it filter through. This way of collecting oxygen always strengthens him more than any surface breathing does. Water ruffles across his skin, and oh! There’s another thing! His tail is back.
It’s as long and strong as he remembers, dark scales flashing bright orange as it catches the light. He twists it closer to him and watches it move so he can really, really believe that it’s back. He can wrap it in front of him and tilt his fins just the smallest amount to send the water swirling around him.
Then, with an excited pulse surging in his belly, he whips it backwards and shoots the rest of his body upwards until he’s breaking above the surface. His tail arcs exactly the way he wants it to and for a brief moment he’s hanging above the water like he’s flying. With a loud whoop, he angles himself downward and crashes back into the pool. The slap of the water stings his skin, and it feels so right, especially with the chorus of shouts he gets from everyone still waiting by the edge.
With a grin too wide to even try to hide, he pops only his head back above the water.
“Look! Bruce! Look! I’m back!”
“I can see that, Jay. I’m really glad.” Bruce hardly ever smiles big, but the twitch at the corner of his mouth tells Jason all he needs to know.
Dick’s shaking pool water out of his hair and muttering to himself, but he looks pretty happy, too. They’re all happy that Jason’s happy again.
Swishing his tail again, he turns to Zatanna. “Thank you! I didn’t— I…”
“I’m glad to help.”
She smiles again and then leans closer, hovering over the water like… Well, exactly like magic, probably. The air shimmers, and Jason ducks lower into the pool, leaving only his eyes exposed. She holds her hand out and then slips something warm and hard and weirdly alive into his hand.
“It’s the spell,” she says. “It can’t be broken, but it can be relocated and contained.”
It looks like a small black stone, one that shimmers just a little differently than his tail. A long, thin chain is connected to it.
Zatanna leans even closer to him. Somehow, he knows that he’s the only one who can hear her right now.
“Don’t misunderstand, I know this is how you are meant to live. But since I needed somewhere to keep the spell anyway… I thought you might like the option of using it. However much or however little you like.”
Wait, he could— He could be human again? But why would he…
“It’s completely up to you, Jason. And you can think about it for as long as you want.”
The air shifts again, and Jason can hear Bruce and Dick and Alfred talking. They’re asking questions and smiling and thanking Zatanna. It’s really nice. Jason’s exactly where he should be and exactly how he should be.
He grips that little stone tight in his fist, clenching hard so he can make sure it doesn’t ever float away.
For the next week, Jason spends nearly all of his time underwater. He lays at the bottom of the outdoor pool, he weaves through the tunnels in the cave, and he wanders up and down Gotham River all on his own. The only reason why he sticks his head above the surface a handful of times is because there’s a persistent pulse of anxiety running in his brain; something that has him worried that Bruce might think Jason left him.
It’s stupid, of course. Bruce knows how Jason… he knows what they are to each other. And he’s probably understanding and stuff with how Jason needs to feel completely like a mer after being stuck as a human for a whole day.
But no matter how often Jason repeats all of that to himself, there’s an ugly squirming in his stomach that rises and falls and only goes away once he’s popped his head above the surface and given Bruce a wave.
He keeps the stone tucked away in a blanket pocket, the same one that his Kindle is stashed in. You can’t feel the warmth of it unless you’re actually touching it, so Jason knows it’s a secret from everyone else. It still feels like he can sense it, though. And his mind gets tangled up with thoughts of everything he could do…
It’s midafternoon on a Thursday when he finally makes up his mind.
He takes the stone and puts the chain around his neck just like he's supposed to. The transformation is only a little less terrifying this time around, and it’s still really hard to drag himself out of the pool and start to walk towards the locker room in the cave.
It takes him way too long to fumble into a pair of oversized sweats borrowed (stolen) from Dick’s things, and then even longer to climb the stairs to get all the way into the manor.
He does it, though, and after a couple minutes of rest, the jello feeling is gone from his legs. Keeping his hand against the wall for balance, he shuffles down the hallway and into the library.
Moby Dick had been jammed haphazardly back on a lower shelf after Jason’s tumble. With everything that had happened earlier, he didn’t get a chance to start reading it. He scoops it up into his hands and then crashes onto the soft squishy sofa that’s the closest seat to him.
His legs are wobbly and tired all the way through, but he was way better at walking than before. With more practice, he could get good enough to blend in with the humans. If he wants to.
The book uses a lot of words he doesn’t know yet, and it seems to be about a guy named ‘Ishmael’ rather than Dick. They’re not even out at sea yet, but Jason’s willing to be patient for just a little longer, and he’s deep into reading about breakfast at Spouter Inn when he’s finally noticed.
Bruce is standing right in the library entrance, staring at Jason while his hands dangle at his sides. A bunch of tiny expressions flicker across his face, none of them settling into place.
“Hi, B,” Jason greets. He flips his book to the next page. The plan was to be casual about this, to pretend that it was no big deal. It’s totally failing, though, because Jason can’t keep the stupid teasing grin off his face.
“Jason, you’re… are you okay?”
“Sure. Just visiting upstairs for a bit. I figured it’d be okay?” He hooks his thumb around the thin chain and lifts the black stone out of the collar of his borrowed hoodie.
Bruce’s feet carry him further into the library, like he’s not even aware they’re moving.
“Of course it’s okay, Jay. You can— You’re welcome here anytime.”
“Good.”
Bruce is still staring at him, eyes roaming to take in the bulky sweatpants and sock feet and magical pendant. The churning heat in Jason’s stomach surges, and suddenly he needs to make sure Bruce understands.
“This isn’t, like, for forever. I’m still a mer. I’m still gonna live in the water. I just… thought it would be nice. To, um, visit. Sometimes.” Why are his hands wet right now? Well, not totally wet, but more like… sweaty? Ugh, humans are so gross.
Bruce clears his throat. “I… understand. I think it would be nice.” He brushes his hand through Jason’s hair just like he always does. It makes Jason settle deeper into the sofa, and he does his best to wriggle to the side to make some room.
When Bruce sits down beside him, the cushions sag a little and Jason ends up leaning against him. It’s… nice. Warm. And even though it’s dry, Jason’s learning to like it.
“Hey, have you read this one before?” He lifts the book off his lap so Bruce can get a good look. “Does it get any better?”
“I’ve read it. I… I think there would be other books you’d like more.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” There’s a very small pause, and then Jason hears Bruce draw in a deep breath. “I can pick some for you, if you want.”
Jason nods. His hair tugs against the fabric of Bruce’s sweater. “Okay. That would be good.”
“Yeah,” Bruce agrees. He smooths his hand over Jason’s head one more time. “I think it would.”