Chapter Text
“Hi Zane-oh!” mid greeting she froze, her smile turning to a concerned frown as she squinted to look closer at him. Clearly, his exhaustion was still apparent despite his hair and mask covering most of his face as usual. He had hoped he’d clean up enough to look put together. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, just a little tired,” he lied. Kawaii~Chan looked at him for a moment, attempting to read his soul for the truth. She seemed to be satisfied with her conclusion because her smile returned and she joined him on the small porch, closing the door behind her.
“Okay, but if that changes just let me know.” She then grabbed his hand and led the way off the porch and down the street.
It was yesterday that she had texted him, asking if he was free to help her with something. He was and agreed despite not knowing what he was helping with, though she didn’t give much insight. The two took a bus into town, specifically to the mall. With idle chat along the way, Zane had finally gotten his questions answered.
“I’ve been cleaning out my closet and got rid of more than I expected, so I need to get some new clothes,” she explained. “You’re the only one I know who understands fashion.” Zane chuckled slightly at the reasoning.
“Are you sure? I wear the same kinda thing almost every day.” It was the truth. A hoodie with jeans and sneakers, his signature mask not too far behind. While the pattern and colors occasionally differed the style was pretty much the same. Kawaii~Chan giggled and bumped her shoulder to his.
“But you’re the one that helped me pick out that suit, remember? You at least know what you’re doing.”
Zane could only nod in vague agreement, despite feeling like his own life was still out of his control.
Once the two had arrived, Kawaii~Chan quickly led the way to a couple of different stores. She gave a vague idea of which ones she wanted to see. The two had gone shopping together before around the holidays to get gifts for their friends. It made things easier when they could help each other come up with ideas on what to get everyone, especially since some of them were still recovering. However, this was a little different, since Zane was only there to give a second opinion and hold her bags, of course, not shopping for his own stuff.
They were currently in their fourth store, a colorful boutique with half the clothes consisting of bright colors and patterns. Perfect for Kawaii~Chan’s style in general as long as it was pink. She was currently enamored with a bright pink patterned sundress with bows on top of the shoulder straps, Zane occupying himself with a stand near them covered in jewelry. They were bright and unique with most of it being earrings of different objects, food, etc. It was interesting enough to keep him awake until he noticed a specific pair. A set of green potions with blue accent marks.
It had to be a sick coincidence they looked familiar, or way too similar, but Zane couldn’t help the way his heart skipped a beat before picking up the pace. His breath grew a bit short and he did his best to keep steady as he looked for something else to focus on.
“Ooo Zane! What do you think of this?!” Kawaii~Chan excitedly called as she put on a pastel pink sheer shall. Zane took a deep breath and tried to ground himself.
“I think it looks cute,” he said, hoping he came across earnestly. Kawaii~Chan smiled even wider and looked at herself in the item.
“Do you think it’ll work to cover myself?”
“As in actually covering what you’re wearing underneath? No, but I think it works well as an accessory.” Kawaii~Chan’s smile seemed to falter slightly before she started to take off the garment. “I-I mean- it still looks really good on you, I mean it,” the words spilled from his mouth as he tried to fix what he said. She giggled slightly and put the shall back on the rack.
“No- I need something that actually covers, but isn’t a heavy jacket,” she said and took his hands in hers. “That's why I wanted your help, I know you’ll always give an honest opinion.” Zane felt himself slightly relax, but the overall tightness in his chest lingered.
Suddenly his stomach let out a loud grumble, and they both laughed at the sudden noise. He had hardly eaten breakfast that morning.
“You good to get lunch now?”
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Despite finally getting some food into his body, Zane couldn’t shake how tense he was. His body and mind were on edge, it was almost frustrating how everything he did to try and calm himself didn’t work. It didn’t help either that he was trying not to worry his friend, and kept brushing off her questions about his well-being.
She had moved on to talking about some event ideas she had for the cafe, some being holiday-specific and others just a way to draw in a bit more business. He did his best to stay attuned to the conversation, but his mind kept wandering. He continued to fight against it, but his mind insisted on remembering the snow-covered forest, or the trashed resort rooms, or the green haze at his peripherals.
“Zane?” Kawaii~Chan asked as she waved a hand in front of his face. He jolted as he refocused on her, an embarrassed smile coming to his lips. “Did you hear what I said?”
“I-I… No I’m sorry, I didn’t.”
“Are you feeling okay? You’ve been spacing out a lot…” She reached for his non-occupied hand as she looked at him. “We can go home if you want.”
Her eyes were worried, pleading for him to be honest about what was going on. He couldn’t help but think back to a few months ago when things were still too painfully fresh to even speak about with those who had been there.
“Zane~kun… isn’t okay… either…” She has guessed hesitantly, big worried eyes looking at him for the truth. He only glanced at her, keeping his gaze mostly on the floor to hide the tears in his eyes.
“Honestly… I-I’m not… Sorry I just-” Suddenly she had wrapped him in a hug, a firm grasp that held nothing but comfort. He had hesitated a moment before gently hugging her back.
“If you need to talk… Kawaii~Chan is here.” Her tone was soft and gentle compared to her usual extroverted self. The two parted from the hug and she gave a small smile. It was… sad, hurting because she could see everyone else was hurt. Zane gave a reassuring smile back despite his mask hiding most of it.
“Thank you… that means a lot. I might take you up on that offer.”
It was only days later he ended up telling her some of what had happened, and to his surprise, she had listened fully and did what she could to help him feel better.
He felt stuck in that same kind of scenario again, yet this time he found it impossible to find the words.
“C-can we? I-I’m sorry I-”
“It's okay, I still got some of what I needed,” She smiled reassuringly and squeezed his hand.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, you were nice enough to tag along, I’m not gonna keep you here longer than you want to be.” She started to clean up her own tray of food before helping clean up his own. Zane couldn’t help but freeze, watching as Kawaii~Chan gave a smile before taking their trash to the nearest garbage can.
Zane wasn’t used to being treated kindly still, and definitely wasn’t used to having other friends aside from Aphmau, and technically Garroth. Yet without him even realizing it, the most unlikely person was someone he considered a friend. Someone he enjoyed spending time with, talking to, and that he felt comfortable around.
It made the tightness in his chest ease a little, knowing that if he needed it, he had someone who could listen.
Zane’s mind always liked to wander. Keeping to himself all his life it was a common way he kept his brain awake, daydreaming or following a rabbit hole of thought. Of course, that would typically be negative. His brain loved to twist his own mind against itself, and tonight was no different.
In the dark quiet of the night, lying on his back, Zane was wide awake thinking. His mind was preoccupied with all the terrible things about himself. How he used to act towards everyone. How he used to spite people like Garroth for things beyond their control or hate them in silence without giving them a chance to fix the issue. How he let his own issues get in the way of himself, his own friendships, his own successes. No wonder so many of his “friends” still hated him, and he really couldn’t blame them-
The shifting to his right followed by light purring interrupted his spiral. Zane looked over to see Nana snuggling into his side, wedged between his right arm and his body. A small smile was breaking at the corner of his lips, hair a slightly tangled mess from moving in her sleep, her ear fluff just as frizzy.
She looked absolutely stunning.
Zane was truly lucky to have her, through all his flaws and mistakes over the year or so they’ve been dating, and even more so for the years they’ve known each other- you really need to stop thinking like that.
Both of them had made plenty of mistakes, they were human after all. To idolize her as a perfect person would just be a lie, but that was the issue. To him, she was absolutely perfect. Especially with how she had changed, everything he learned about her, every quirk and tick she had he couldn’t help but see her as perfect.
Zane kept watching her, taking note of her slow breaths, and the occasional twitch of her nose, she seemed to be completely knocked out. She was a heavy sleeper. He shifted slightly, laying more on his side to watch her more comfortably. A few strands of hair fell in front of her face from the movement, and he carefully brushed it to the side to see her better.
“How did you ever manage to fall for me?” he mumbled. He started to think he might be dreaming, and his beautiful girlfriend wasn’t beside him fast asleep. Nana’s ears twitched slightly as she shifted more into his side again. Zane chuckled at how adorable this mundane truly was. “I love you.”
He’d never told her those words before. Frankly, he never imagined he ever would tell someone those words. Yet in the dead of night, feeling the warmth of her body against his as she drifted into oblivion, he couldn’t help the urge to say them finally.
The moment was just right.
Until she shifted again, groggy and whining in confusion as she tried to process what she just heard. Zane flew into a slight panic, quickly sitting up as his face burned red.
“Huh…? What did you say….?” Nana questioned as she followed suit in sitting up. Zane quickly shushed her before guiding her to lie back down.
“Nothing nothing… Go back to sleep,” He moved to lay back down so she could be comfortable. She quickly found herself against him again, this time with an arm wrapped around his torso and her head resting on his shoulder, Zane’s right arm back in its place to hold her close.
“Okay…” She hummed as the two got comfortable and relaxed with each other. “I love you too…”
Zane tensed for a moment hearing her say those words back. It was one thing for him to speak them, he figured at some point he’d be a fool and fall for someone and be dumb enough to say it, but hearing someone say it to him? Zane never imagined such a thing to be possible. The heat in his face came back full force as a wide grin followed. He felt giddy inside, like a kid getting their dream present for the holidays, and tried to stifle the giggles that came from his chest.
He pulled Nana closer and let his mind stay silent for once as he enjoyed the beautiful feeling of holding the girl he loved. Who also, for reasons Zane might never fully understand, loved him back.