Chapter Text
LOGAN
Logan had been walking for what felt like an eternity. The sun had gone down and risen again once already and he was so hopelessly lost it was beginning to get worrying. Luckily he had a lot to think about and walking always helped him think more clearly.
That had been a vision of Creativity. A vision while he was awake . It went against everything Logan knew about how their visions worked - at least amongst the light sides. There was still so much he didn't understand about how they functioned.
And then there was the fact that it was a vision of Creativity , someone long gone for over a decade. Except it wasn't quite right . He'd looked different than how Logan had remembered him. He was older, for one, and that was something to consider - broader and taller with sharper lines along his jawbone.
Logan rubbed his temples. Based on the sides Logan had managed to interview on the topic, they each had very useful skills that came with their visions. Patton received them when another side was experiencing overwhelming emotions or crises of a moral nature. Virgil’s visions helped him to know when another side’s anxiety was reaching levels that could affect Thomas. Remus could sense when a side was having trouble with their own intrusive thoughts, and was even able to ease them.
Of all the sides that he had knowledge of, Logan's own visions seemed to be the least useful. They were either entirely vague or metaphorical, or they didn't seem to mean anything at all.
Just as he was about to contemplate further on his lack of useful visions, the sound of someone traipsing through the brush to his right caught his attention.
“Uh… hello? Who’s there?” He called out. Everything had gone quiet now, and the hairs on the back of his neck were beginning to stand on end.
All of the sudden, something rushed out of the woods and barreled into Logan from the side, “AHH- Holy shit ! What the-?”
Logan’s undignified shriek was cut off by Remus laughing so hard there were tears gathering in the corners of his eyes as he doubled over, “You- oh, you should have seen your face ! Couldn't help myself. And I believe,” he drew the word out, playful and sing-songy, “that you owe a coin to the swear jar, Lobot.”
Logan started to catch his breath, hand pressed to his chest. He shot Remus with what he hoped was a scathing glare, “You almost knocked me over! I- I have been stuck out here for an entire day now-”
“Yes,” Remus cut in again, a little smug, “That’s why I came looking for you. Lucky you, time works differently in our forest! So you haven't missed anything important in the outer world.” He put a steadying hand on Logan’s shoulder, “I really couldn't help myself, you know.”
Logan sighed deeply, looking up to the sky as if asking some deity for help, “Yes. I know.” Remus started to rock him back and forth where he was holding Logan’s shoulder and he could feel the smile twitching its way onto the corners of his lips, “Yes, alright , you're forgiven.”
Remus immediately punched the air with a sharp, “ Whoooo! Yes!” Logan rolled his eyes, pretending the smile he wore wasn't fondness.
“Please tell me you know how to get out of here?” He was in desperate need of a long, hot shower and then he had a date with his bed. Remus snickered, but nodded.
“Me and Ro made this place! ‘Course I can lead you out. Ooooor we can take one of my portals.”
“Roman and I,” Logan corrected absently before blinking and squaring his shoulders, “One of your what ?”
Remus’s smile widened, but it was softer and warmer than his shark-like grin that his face often held, “One of my portals . Like I said Ro and I ,” he cut a look in Logan's direction as they meandered off the path, “made this place. It’s all our domain and we're creativity. So the only limitations are our imagination. I have these little pools all over the place around here - I call them mirror ponds!”
He stepped right up to the edge of what at first looked to Logan to be a regular puddle, but once he was at the edge directly beside Remus he could see that the liquid reflected perfectly, just like a mirror. He’d been so enraptured as he leaned forward for a better look that he startled when Remus’s hand slid into his, warm and calloused from years of weilding his morning star.
“Careful there Lo. It’s really deep and if you don't know how to travel through it… well, it won't be pretty.” Logan’s hand immediately tightened around Remus’s. Remus gave him a look and somehow Logan could interpret what it meant. Somehow, he'd spent long enough around Remus to read his expressions as well as he could Patton’s.
Logan sucked in a breath and jumped at the same time Remus did, still keeping their hands tightly linked. The water felt weird - heavier and thicker, nearly like a soft, cool fabric wrapping around them. And then they were jumping out of a pond, on the edge and facing away from the water. Remus pulled him by his hand away from the pond’s tiny shore, then he squeezed it and let go.
Logan ignored the fluttering in his stomach as it traveled up and made a home in his chest, “We’re… still in the woods.” He couldn't help but point out.
Remus laughed again, “It’s right through the treeline. The door, I mean. These portals are for fast travel ! Aren't they neat? I made them based off how you were explaining that sci-fi thing-”
“Teleporter.”
“- teleporter ! And they turned out to be so much fun!” Logan couldn't help but soften at Remus’s pure excitement. His eyes were glittering in a way they only did occasionally. And this was something he'd made because of Logan . Because of him . Logan’s breath caught.
“Ah, yes. It’s actually amazing .” He answered honestly, eyes skirting the edges of Remus’s face so he didn't have to look right at him, “They're more than neat, they're- they're wonderful Remus. This is… this is beautiful, too.” He had crouched to poke at the water-like substance, letting it run over his hand and marveling when his fingers came away wet.
When Remus hadn't answered after a few moments, Logan looked back up at the other man. He found Remus looking right back at him. His expression was open, and Logan stood back up because it was too much , “We should g-”
“Thank you.”
Logan hesitated, “I- you're welcome. You… I love it.”
Remus’s smile lit right back up and he grabbed Logan by the hand again, this time dragging him out of the treeline, “Let’s get you back! The others’ll be missing you.”
Sure enough, the path and the door out of Imagination was on the other side. Remus ushered him back into their mind space home, and Logan felt all at once exhausted and so, so grateful.
“Are you coming to the kitchen for a snack with me?” Logan asked, but Remus shook his head.
“No, I've got some things I need to talk to Roman about. But if you need me, just tap on that mirror pond a bunch of times! I'll feel the vibrations.” Remus winked before striding right back into Imagination, leaving Logan to breathe in the familiar silence of their home.
He made his way to the kitchen and put together a quick sandwich. He'd been surprised at how hungry wandering around Imagination’s first had made him feel. As he was pondering all the things he'd seen during his trip, he was unsurprised to find Virgil sliding into the chair next to him.
Virgil had nothing but a cup of coffee, with blasphemous amounts of cream and very little sugar he was stirring in. They say in silence for a few minutes before Logan spoke up, “I'm alright. I just had a bit of a fright in Imagination.”
“Imagination? What were you doing in Imagination?” Virgil frowned, but it was his pensive frown rather than his unhappy one, “You were gone like… all day.”
Logan snorted a small laugh, “And you just found this out because you just woke up at-” He looked at his watch which was blissfully working once more, “-8:00pm, right?” Virgil rolled his eyes but he motioned for Logan to continue, “I was exploring something I saw in a vision. I don't get them often, but I've had… several over the last few days and… even during the day. That's never happened before.”
Virgil nodded, holding both hands around the warmth of his coffee mug, “So you're anxious. That makes sense. I… I also feel like something is, uhm, off .”
The confirmation from Virgil was welcomed and dreaded at the same time. It meant Logan wasn't crazy, wasn't overthinking. It also meant that something really was wrong.
“We need to talk to Janus.” Virgil added, then took a long drink of his coffee, tossing most of it back like it was a shot.
Logan frowned, “Janus? Not that I'm objecting - we’re all on much better terms now - but why Janus ?”
The breath the Virgil drew in and released was pressurized with tension, “Mmh, it isn't really my place to tell. Janus is… well, he's private . You know that. But- okay, just… I'll talk to Janus.” The words were ground out as though it were a difficulty to release them, but Virgil rinsed his cup in the sink and resigned himself to what would no doubt be a very tense visit.
JANUS
Janus was having a perfectly pleasant conversation with Patton when Virgil swept in like a storm coming to port, only to break once it hit land. He teetered in the doorway like he’d encountered an invisible barrier.
“Virgil! Hey, come join us!” Patton grinned, holding his teacup up like he was showing off a prize.
“Well, come in . Don't let the good air out.” Janus made a sweeping gesture towards an empty chair at his tea table. Virgil shuffled in and slumped into the chair.
Patton lit up, excitedly asking, “Are you finally accepting our invitation for a tea party Virg? I can't believe it! I'm so glad I made the tea cakes and finger sandwiches this time!”
Virgil gave Patton a small smile, accepting a teacup from Patton and watching Janus pour the tea for him, “I… not really. Thank you. I mean, I'm here so- I'll drink the tea and stuff. But I came to talk to Janus, actually.”
A dull ache rocked through Janus’s chest as the familiarity of this sent him spiraling back to a time when this was a common occurrence. He blinked and found himself back in the present. With a small shake of his head he fixed Virgil with a smile, “Well don't let me stop you. What is it you need to talk about? You don't darken my doorstep much these days.”
Virgil winced a little and Patton’s lips turned down just slightly. Clearing his throat, Virgil’s voice came out firm but quiet, “Have you had any… visions lately? Like, your brand of visions?”
The snort that tore from him was unbecoming but also unavoidable, “Virgil. I've been having my brand of visions nearly every day for years. Why do you think I made myself known?”
Patton looked confused, “Are your visions bad, or scary, or something like that?”
Janus sipped his tea, “Not exactly. They aren't pleasant but I'm very used to them. It’s part of my role. I get visions, usually metaphorical, when one or more of the sides is in a sort of danger.”
“Danger?” Patton’s expression included worry alongside the confusion, “But… you said years . How could someone be in danger for years?”
“An excellent question. Sometimes danger is… it can be cumulative. Little things here and there that are a little damaging but ultimately not dangerous. At least until enough little things pile up to make someone a danger to themselves or others. It can be straightforward, and usually is when it’s regarding Remus. But with others, well… none of you are very good at managing yourselves and it makes you a risk to yourselves. If Virgil is your warning alarm, then I'm your… security system itself.”
The explanation hung between the three of them, and Janus continued to eat and sip as though this was a conversation he had every day. He hated revealing things about himself before he was ready, but the truth was that he'd been ready to deal with this particular problem for months now. He wanted to protect them.
“Well… well I'm sure everything is going to be okay! We can get through this together! It’s probably a problem that seems much worse than it is, right?” Patton chirped, trying for cheerfulness in his worry.
Janus grimaced and put his tea down. He took a steadying breath before answering, “Actually this is quite pressing. It could be a catastrophe if we aren't careful. But I'm not sure everyone is in the right place for this kind of… intervention.”
Patton frowned, “But… we have to do something ! We have to work together to solve this or it will only get worse!”
“It’s already getting worse. It could get worse faster if we try to intervene too soon.”
Virgil frowned deeply, looking nearly angry, but mostly annoyed, “You need to take this seriously. Everyone’s getting worse already. Speeding things up might be our only option. I know you might not care what happens in our mindscape, but the rest of us want to fix this.”
“See? Everyone wants to help! We can do this, we can talk about this- Just let me help y-”
And there was his boiling point.
"You don't help ! You just comfort others with things you wish someone would say to you! Stop trying to live vicariously through me." Janus cut Patton off, words vicious and sharp. His eyes were icy like gold coins in warm hands, as he turned to Virgil, "And you . You do not get to accuse me of not caring . You left us , not the other way around! How could you even think that?
I- I still remember your favorite songs, and how embarrassed you'd get when I caught you singing them. I remember how your room smelled like incense and how you would smile when Remus made your favorite breakfast. I... I remember..." Janus closed his eyes, the fight drained out of him. His shoulder slumped a little, and his breath trembled, tumbling out of him unevenly. All at once, his anger was drained out and replaced with a deep throbbing that ached through his body.
Janus was tired .
He could see the way Virgil had shrunk back, looking like a cornered animal when confronted with everything Janus had thrown his way - the unspoken emotions he'd let slip. He'd given away so much more than he'd ever meant to. Two people he loved more than anything else in a room with him, and he'd managed to blow up on them both in less than a few minutes.
Patton pressed his lips together briefly before he looked between them, "I... I'm trying to help. I want to help. If... If I'm not doing that right then- then tell me how to do better. But you can't just yell at me. I can't.. I can't read your mind, Janus."
Janus pinched the bridge of his nose, "I- yes. You're right. I'm... I'm sorry. I was just... Having a moment, I think. You're plenty helpful, but at times it feels like how I imagine a prerecorded message might sound. You- Well, you don't really change . We've all grown, our problems have all grown. But you're still here , in the same spot, giving the same advice."
He pressed on, trying to finish before Patton broke in, "People are never the same. Every second that goes by, people change. Including you. But you ignore it because... Because it's hard. Change is so, so difficult. So much of your unhappiness is coming from not letting yourself be who you've been becoming. You're stunting your own growth and I think... I think it's starting to affect others."
Virgil looked up for the first time since Janus's tirade. His teeth were worrying at his lip, and he looked on the verge of either a breakdown or an epiphany. Patton looked away, lips pressed together so hard they looked like they had lost color. His hands kept clenching and unclenching like he was looking for something to do with them. Eventually he gained enough composure to restart.
“I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… I'm sorry.” Virgil swallowed around his words like they might choke him, “But this is reaching a boiling point for me. The situation, I mean. I can tell… You know what my visions are about.”
Janus did, in the broadest sense. He and Virgil had never talked in depth about how their visions worked, only what information they were given through them.
“I know you're anxious about this. But I don't think Patton is necessarily wrong… Will there ever be a ‘good time' to do this kind of thing?” Virgil huffed in the semblance of a laugh, “I don't even know what, where, or who the problem actually is. You haven't told us. How can we talk about a plan without knowing what we're planning for?”
A deep sigh, and then Janus nodded, “Yes, alright. There are a lot of problems, I think. Like I said, my visions are a bit metaphorical at times. But whatever the root of these problems are, the one in the most danger, the most affected, is Roman. There's something wrong with Roman.”