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Flaws and All

Summary:

Emil was a broken man, yet finally was brave enough to try and achieve who he desired, to touch his heart. But his love interest was just as broke as him. Through words the only way to find the key to a healing path together.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Emil was a broken man, he was once enxperimented on, his mind was filled with anxiety and hysteria, then he Met Ada, who helped him recover a little. But no matter how hard she tried, she could never fully put him back together with her limited resources. She couldnt restore the man that seemed to be a broken mirror that had fell out of a building, several if it's parts being lost to the alleys. Yet she had promised that she would find every one of the mirror fragments and put it back together. But how could she focus on helping Emil, if someone else was stealing her attention?

It wasn't hard to guess, it really wasn't. Emil had felt her drift away from him, day by day after joining the Otleus Manor. Yet he couldn't blame her, he couldn't reproach her about it either, she was way more than just his lover. She was his best friend, she was his salvation. Yet he could feel his stomach twist with guilt and perhaps something else whenever he saw a certain guest at the manor, one who made him stumble over his own words more than usual, and made his whole face burn. He was heavily aware that he was also drifting away from Ada. The time they spent together was less and less every day, until one day, they didn't see eachother at all. It was something they needed to address, they couldn't keep being 'lovers' if their hearts belonged to other person. Emil had saw them once, both ladies walked next to the other their shoulders touched, their hands were clasped together and their fingers interwined, they laughed together as they walked. Emil noticed that not only it did not affect him, but he actually felt happy that Ada had find someone who could make her happy.

They had talked about it, wanting to go further with the person he fancied, but not daring to betray his bond with Ada. Their conversation arrived to the conclusion that indeed, they were drifting from eachother and it was better if they cut their love relationship, they slid their rings off and set themselves as friends, they accepted to conserve the rings to remember the beautiful memories engraved en them.
---
Emil stood infront of the door next to his own. He held his fist up, ready to knock. But he was nervous, really nervous. He gathered up the little courage he had and knocked on the door.

It was a couple of minutes before the door opened, and Emil's heart instantly skipped a beat at the sight. Behing the door was a handsome young man, he wasn't wearing his usual clothes, he was wearing the Manor's sleep clothes. His medium lenght black hair was disvellised, his eyes were watery and tired. The light of the room reflected on his face, the burn scar at the left side of his face glowed with the light along with the magnet on his nose. He looked a little messy, which only made Emil's breath hitch. But anyone could guess who the man was, it was no one else but Norton Campbell.

"Emil" Norton talked with a voice that was way deeper than usual and a little raspy, Emil gulped dryly at this. He fiddled with his hands, he was really nervous about what he was going to say.

After his talk with Ada the only thing he could think about was what she had advised him "well, I personally think you should confess your love for him, if you guys already have a bond you think it might be mutual, I don't see why not. Actually, I was the one who did the first step with Demi, I confessed first to her" the wors resonated in his mind, and a confidence he had never experienced took over him.

"Sorry— were y-you sleeping?" Emil stuttered as he talked, and his heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest. Norton only nodded with his head. Emil was sweating a little, but he wanted to to to this.

He took a deep breath and started, his whole anxiety was obvious between his words. 'I'm sorry. I-I wanted to— I need to tell you so-something really important—uhm"
"Yeah?"
"I- I- Ireallylikeyouidontknowwhenithappenedbutijustwannaspendtimewithyouand— I-Im in...l-love with y-you" the statement really was a mess, it was hard to understand him if he didn't pause between the words, and Emil realized that, so he tried talk normally but he was nervous, not only that, it was also the first time he confessed to someone else. Emil lifted his head, he saw Norton's face briefly flash with what appeared to be joy, yet not a second later his expression was solemn.

"No." His answer was immediate, almost rushed and the words sounded forced, Norton slamed shut the door after he spoke. Leaving an uncomfortable mood in the hallway. Emil stood there in front of the now closed door, just staring in shock. When the realization started to get to him, he felt his heart drop, he felt like his heart was being squished with the whole pressure of the world, it made him want to rip his heart out of his chest. He felt a drop reach his chin, he hadn't even notice when he had started crying. He slowly walked towards his own room, as he closed the door, he pressed his back against it and let himself slide down to the floor.

Emil brought a hand to his chest, clenching his hands, as if it were to stop the pain he felt, but it didn't help at all. It felt as if going back to the experiments they did to him would hurt less than this ache. He allowed himself to start sobbing, which quickly turned into a fountain of tears, and they wouldn't stop, he wasn't sure he wanted them to stop. He brought his knees to his chest and pressed his forehead against them. He clenched his hair painfully tight as salty water poured out of his eyes and sobbs silenced his words. Before he could even notice, the crying had drifted him off to sleep.
--

Emil woke up startled to the sound of someone aggressively knocking on his door. After waking up, he could still feel his heart aching, his limbs felt heavy as if he had iron chains around his extremities. he didn't want to move, or think, or be awake. He forced himself up and slowly opened the door. He looked up and his heart sunk after seeing who it was. He felt his eyes watering again, he tried to close the door, but Norton stopped it with his foot.

"Wait. Please, what I said— I didn't mean— let me explain. Please" Norton's tone was hurried, panicked and his accent was heavier than usual, Emil could hear his voice break at the last set of words. He looked at Norton's face, despite the pain of his heart. Norton's eyes were red and puffy, his whole face was tinted a soft shade of pink, like he had been crying for a while. Emil assumed he probably looked similar, or worse. He could feel the dry tears on his cheeks.

Emil had starting crying again, only realizing when he felt his face getting wet. Normally, He wouldn't allow Norton to see him in such state. But he was devastated, he didn't have the energy to cover his face and pretend or come up with an excuse. He just sniffled and murmured "okay"

They stepped inside the room, turning the lights on. Emil sat with his head low on his bed and Norton sat at his side.

"I didn't mean what I said" was the first Norton said. Emil lifted his head to look at him. He was holding his hands and was frowning, like there was something in his head bothering him.
"The rejection, me shutting the door...I— it was an impulse— I didn't mean to do it, I just...panicked" Norton held his head in his hands, Emil could see his hands trembling.
"I know it sounds like I'm making up excuses...is just— I'm— it's complicated"

Emil just sat in silence, what Norton had said was reasonable, but he was still hurt, his heart pained and he felt exhausted. Norton really wasn't implying he was into Emil either, and he wanted a full explanation. Norton lowered his hands and looked at Emil, his eyes full of regret and what looked like adoration. His lips quivered as he spoke.

"I...I...I— I love you, Emil. And it scares me. A-and I'm afraid that— that I'll disappoint you— or that I'm not who you're looking for I...I don't know...how to love...let alone you, a-and I don't want to hurt you...I'm a mess, Emil— and I can't afford anything to make you happy and I just— I just want you to be with someone who can provide you with what you deserve. I don't want to lose you, and I'd do anything for you, but I—" Norton had started crying as well, his whole expression was broken. Emil could understand his worry, up to some extent, he was aware Norton had a rough childhood. And despite always acting tough and indifferent, Emil knew Norton was just as broken as he was.

Emil gently cupped Norton's face with his hands, His pained expression faltering for a second. "Norton...I-I can't say I fully understand your worries, I know you had a rough past— but we both grew up in different c-circumstances...tragic situations...but...I wanna be with you, Norton— I-I don't care if you don't have a lot of money o-or if you don't know how to love a person—I can't say I know how to, either. But I want to be there w-with you...I- I wanna learn together...I wanna be by your side, no matter what."
Emils heart was suffering badly at Nortons state and he couldn't help but to spill the truth, and all the feelings that burned him from the inside.

Norton sobbed, gently leaning into Emil's touch. "Even if all my personality is a facade and in reality I don't know how to deal with stuff?"
"Yes, even so"
"Even if my greed made me do wrong decisions?"
"Yes, even so"
"Even if my mistakes led to the death of many?"
"Of course, even so"
"Even If I grew with no opportunities a-and not even proper parental love?"
"Yes, even so"
"Even if I lived on a mine for half my life a-and I know little about the real world?"
"Yes, even so"
"Even if my knowledge about love is limited and it might take time?"

This time, Emil wrapped his arms around Norton's neck, hugging him and he whispered in his ear. "I love you Norton, no matter how messed up your past is, no matter how complex your harships are. I-I wanna be with you...and I wanna heal our pasts— our souls together. With you. Only you...if you allow me to be at your side"

Norton had been crying silently, but such words made his heart ache and burn, he sobbed loudly and held onto Emil's waist as he buried his face in his shoulder, crying and whimpering as his hands trembled. He held onto Emil as if scared he might dissappear into thin air. Emil held onto him equally tight, and ran a hand through Norton's hair, which close to his expectations, was stiff and ashy, result of years of mine work without the appropriate conditions or opportunities to be taken care of. He kept his hand on Norton's hair, soothing him til his crying ceased.

Norton lift his head, sobbing between words "I'm sorry...about earlier...if, if you could forgive me for my- my scared reaction...I wanna accept your feelings.... -I wanna be with you"
Emil sofly smiled at this, wiping remaining tears on his eyes, he gently pressed his lips against Norton's, his heart fluttered when Norton didn't reject his kiss. "...I Forgive you, I understand a-and I wanna be w-with you too" Norton chuckled softly between his sobbs and placed a hand on Emil's neck and kissed his lips, their hearts raced as warmth spread trought their bodies, outruling the sadness and misery thay had take them.

The kiss was tender, gentle, sweet. It was slow and reassuring. It was the kiss of two broken people who had promised to help heal each other. Their tongues gently slid past eachother, tasting themselves with the outermost care, as if they both were scared to break the other, yet their lips interwined needily for the contact they had so long ached for.

Emil broke the kiss and caressed Norton's scar with his thumb, causing Norton to shiver, the skin was uneaven and stiffer than the rest of Norton's skin, but Emil didn't mind, he adored every part of Norton. His finger also wiped some tears away. He smiled at him and kissed his forehead. "You could never d-disappoint me, or n-not be what I deserve. I l-love you for being you, f-flaws and all included" Norton only leaned into his touch, his eyelashes fluttering and his lips quivered, it was the most vulnerable state he had ever shown Emil, his actions had more gratitude than any words could show. Norton placed one of his hands on Emil's cheek, preventing a small tear to fall. "I love you too, Emil, flaws and all included" He then gently kissed the tear stains at the corner of his eyes. Their lips met together in a perfect slow dance once more, filling parts of their broken soul with a new and welcoming warm.

When they broke their embrace, It was late, and Emil suggested Norton to stay with him during the night, which he accepted. They fell asleep in eachother's arms, a broken yet perfect set of lovers.

Notes:

I LOVE SO MUCH THIS FANFIC