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His breath grew shorter and his legs all the wobblier, but Meows kept his head held high like the warrior that he was. He might be hurting now, but all of his hard work would be worth it. No one should ever, ever, work on their birthday, but especially the best human in the multiverse. Meows wouldn’t stand for it!
So far he’s webbed up five bad guys and counting, and if he kept going, he could defeat some of the baddest of bad guys tonight. Then Jake wouldn’t have to go on patrol anymore! As it should be. Superheroes deserved days off too, you know, and Jake was the most deserving. He took orders day and night from a bird. A bird! No one should ever have to go through that.
But Meows would fix this because tomorrow night, Jake would be free!
“Best birthday surprise ever. Best… birthday surprise… ever. To ever…”
With the power of Meows’s mantra, he strengthened just in time to continue his search. Come out, come out, wherever you are, Mr. Criminal. Meows was ready for you!
Paw after determined paw, Meows booked it down the sidewalk before turning sharply into an alley. Hehe, perfect. Everyone knew this was a criminal's natural habitat. He leapt over food wrappers and stagnant puddles, he maneuvered past dumpsters and the dark, but the further he went the more he realized one thing was missing.
It was criminal-less.
Criminal-less!
But how could that be? This was the city that never slept and yet, and yet, he had a bad feeling the only one here was a kitten on a mission. Where were the bad guys when you needed them most? There was no time for pranks, people. Time was running out!
Meows picked up the pace. Five bad guys was only a human hands worth. That wasn’t enough for someone like Khonshu. He needed fistfuls of vengeance!
One alleyway bled into another, and Meows ran like he had never ran before, pushing himself to his limits and beyond. His paws were aching, his legs were shaking, but Meows had to keep going. He couldn’t let Jake down! He had done so much for him. He saved his life, gave him a home and a family he could be a part of. Getting Jake one night of rest was just the beginning of all he deserved. With great power comes great responsibility, and there was nothing Meows felt more responsible for than his happiness.
After several blocks, climbing up walls, and what felt like half the night searching, he finally, finally, hit the jackpot. Four men laughed in an otherwise abandoned parking lot and being traded among them was undoubtedly, and undeniably, stolen goods. Not even Black Friday shoppers carried that much stuff.
“You know how long I’ve been wanting these bad boys?” A man heaved a plastic bag onto his shoulder to their enjoyment and gave it a firm pat. “Who knew all I had to do was take it?”
The men laughed with him. With them distracted, Meows moved through the dark and made sure to stay out of the parking lot’s limited lights.
“Welcome to the good life.” Another grinned. “Took you long enough.”
“Trust me, I know.” He smiled and gave it another pat. “Beats me why I didn’t try this sooner.”
“Afraid of doing more time.”
“Whateva morals you got left.”
“Being a scaredy cat.”
Meows snickered at that last one. Heh, cat. The man, however, did not.
“What did you just call me?” He set the bag at his feet and rolled his shoulders back, clicking his neck as he stretched it side to side.
“Hey, come on, Vicky.” He held his hands up as he laughed. “Come on, don’t get like that. I was joking. You know I wouldn’t compare you two like that. Cats do zilch, but you? You do everything, man.”
Meows narrowed his eyes beneath the mask. He was insulting cats too, huh? He didn’t like this guy one bit. He didn’t like any of them with their thievery and— and meanness. He was already set on taking them all down, but now it was as set as cement. There was no one to blame but themselves.
“Now I do everything. Come here, you punk— hey!”
In one pounce, Meows unleashed a web at the man’s vulnerable ankles. Everyone let out a shout, but the man was cut off once Meows pulled back on the web, making him lose his balance and— to the ground he went. Yay!
“Yo! Yo, yo, what the hell even is that?”
“Like I’d know!”
“I-it’s got Vic!”
The three men took several steps back and scattered around him. Meows leaned forward in a preliminary pounce, wiggling his tail with glee. Yeah, that’s right. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
“What’re you three morons doing standing around?” The man shouted from the ground, attempting to stand before Meows trapped his legs with more webs. “F-for god’s sake, do something!”
“Man, I’m not messing around with that!” The closest man shouted, jabbing a finger in Meow’s direction. “L-look at that thing. It’s got a tail and everything.”
“Bobbie,” he growled.
“He’s being real with you!” Another man shouted. “It could be one of those aliens for all we know. It shot out like— some glue or something.”
“Yeah, man. Just like— oh, wait just a second,” the last man added. He took a step closer, even as the others shouted at him to stay back. “Look, boys. That’s not skin. I think it’s wearing some kind of… suit or something, like some—“
“Oh! It has that Spider-man’s symbol.”
The three men looked at Meows and gave a collective, “Ohh.”
“So if it’s got that suit and— I guess that web thing going on.”
“And the tail.”
“Thanks, Bobbie. And a tail like that, it’s some kind of… what. Spider-cat?”
The men squinted as they began to view him under a new light and “oh’d” once again.
“You know, that makes a lot of sense—“
“For crying out loud! Did it take you three stooges that long to— to.” Vic growled in frustration. “Somebody do something!”
Meows laughed mischievously. Oh, he could do something. Before any of them could react, he leapt onto the fallen man’s back and pounced onto his next target.
The man, who he now knew as Bobbie, screamed and kicked his leg in sporadic bursts. Meows giggled as he held on. Silly criminal, everyone knew spider-people had sticky hands.
“Get it off me!”
“We could if you’d stop moving!”
And speaking of moving, Meows could do that too. Quickly, he began to run around the man’s body, producing webs beneath his paws. His fellow criminals tried but failed to pluck this fast kitty off, and in no time at all he was wrapped up like a mummy. Meows dropped to the ground as he did.
The two men left standing took a step back.
“Jesus,” one of them breathed out. “This cat,”
Meows perked up. Being mistaken for a cat over a kitten was the highest compliment.
Bobbie squirmed in his restraints, shaking and shimming to no luck. Vic gritted his teeth before unleashing a ferocious growl. “If you can’t fight the thing, shoot it before it does anything else!”
Shoot him? Meows visibly tensed. His spidey-sense would keep him safe, but the thought still made his little heart skip a beat. Normal people don’t go around threatening kittens, even if they thought he was just a cat.
The parking lot fell into silence.
“Vic,” finally, one of the men said. “I don’t know where you got the idea, but I don’t hurt animals.” Meanwhile the other man looked like he was going to do it. He slowly reached into his pocket just to be punched in the nose. He groaned; the speaker continued. “Tommy won’t harm this little guy either. Right, Tommy?”
“Uh.” He looked at him nervously before pulling his hand free, now applying it to his bloody nose. "Yeah, yeah, that’s right.”
Oh? Meows looked up to them. They weren’t going to hurt him? Not harming animals was the bare minimum of being a good human being, but he still appreciated it. He didn’t have to worry about wearing himself out dodging anymore. Meows meowed in gratitude.
….
….
He was still going to fight them though.
Meows webbed their ankles and tugged hard, though he did cushion their fall with web like pillows. There was still some goodness in them.
“Gah! I knew I should’ve—“
“Finish that thought! I dare you.”
As they bickered back and forth, Meows ran back and forth across them, forming a webby blanket to go with their web pillows except this would weigh them down instead of being cozy. Once all his hard work was done, he breathed heavily and stepped off of them, stumbling around on his little paws until his legs caved in under him. He exhaled. All of that hard work sure was workout worthy.
As he panted, Meows looked around. Bobbie was still flopping around like a fish, and Vic pressed his face into the tar in defeat. The bickering pair were still bickering. Meows’s eyes lit up as he reviewed them one by one. Four bad guys tied up like a bow. No, like a present! Because they were. He wiggled tiredly. Best birthday delivery ever.
As his adrenaline started to go away, Meows stretched himself out in preparation. He was really, really tired, but that was not an excuse. He had to keep going. This was just one stop of many on his criminal hunt. Jake’s birthday still needed saving!
With a determined meow, Meows began to rise shakily before falling back onto his bum. He whined then pouted when he stayed grounded. Okay, maybe he had to rest a little more. But just a little bit! He had places to be and vengeance to seek.
As he worked to get his breathing under control, chin ducked, he completely missed the sudden whooshing and the panic of the humans.
“Looks like someone is putting me out of business.”
Meows’s eyes expanded into plates as he put the boots and the voice togeth—
“Ja— ah! Ah, I mean, Mister Moon Knight! Mister Moon Knight, sir!” His heart clenched before releasing a slow breath. That was a close one. A very, very— too close to the sun— close one. If Jake was furious, he would understand. His tail curled around himself in anticipation. He was a bad kitten for saying that. Revealing civilian identities was a supervillain's specialty. How could he do that?
Meows stiffened as he searched for signs of anger, then searched for any growing signs of anger when he found none, but to his surprise Jake lowered himself with a laugh.
“It’s good to see you too, gatito.” He held his hands out. When Meows stayed motionless, he flexed his fingers and nodded towards them. “It’s alright. Come on now.”
He… he wasn’t mad? Meows was in a sea of confusion, but he let it go for now, closing the distance with a burst of giggles. They’re okay! He wasn’t mad. He rubbed his face against Jake’s palms, meowing up a storm. He would never ever, ever slip up again.
“There he is.” Jake said, stroking the space between his masked eyes before cradling him in his hands.
“But I didn’t go anywhere.” Meows tilted his head, confusion again finding him. “I’m right here.”
“I know,” he laughed fondly. “That’s the best part.”
“—Hey, uh,” one of the men began. Meows was too focused to not focus on who it was. “Not trying to interrupt or anything, but uh. Is that a fucking talking cat?”
“Bobbie,” someone hissed.
“What’re doing?” Another said. “Insulting Moon Knight’s cat? Do you want to get us all killed?”
Jake simply laughed, which Meows knew was lighthearted right away, but the criminals didn’t. They tensed and looked amongst each other as he turned away, laughing some more.
“Come on, gatito,” he murmured. “You can tell me all about your adventure on the way back.”
Without another warning, Jake ran out of the parking lot and towards the closest alley. His laughter intertwined with Meows’s giggles, and once they were inside, Jake jumped back and forth against the walls as they scaled the buildings. It was so much faster than web crawling. And cooler! Jake was so cool.
“We’re going so fast!”
“We are, so hold on!”
They reached the opening in seconds, and once Meows found a safe place on his shoulder, Jake leaped into the night. In an instant, the cape spread out, catching the wind like a magnet and guiding them on a clear path. As Meows giggled and wiggled his paws with excitement, Jake took a hold of each end and steered them onto his own, adventurous course. This wasn’t their first flight together, but it was always this magical. Web slinging had nothing on this.
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Yeah!”
He couldn’t see his smile, but Meows was sure he was. He liked to think it was a part of his spidey-sense now.
As they glided over the tallest of buildings and the brightest of city lights, he took it in with complete and utter awe. The Spider-Society was more advanced, yet they had yet to create something as beautiful as this. Jake must’ve sensed that too because once they were nearing their neighborhood, he changed course to take them the long way home. Meows rubbed his nose against his cheek. He really was the best of the best.
Jake laughed softly back. “Your welcome, bud.” As they flew over Central Park, which was the best park and several stores, they fell into comfortable silence. There was so much life happening below, but it felt so peaceful with the gentle wind and the comfort of Jake’s shoulder. He would happily stay in this quiet bliss forever.
“So,” Jake asked a few moments later. As he turned a sharp corner, his voice grew teasable. “Are you going to tell me what that was all about?”
“Hm?” Meows hummed, just slowly catching on. “What was all…?”
Ohhh. Uh oh. He looked off to the side, sheepishly. Did he have to? Meows thought his plan was brilliant, but after being caught in the act, he felt very silly about it now. Nine criminals was nine criminals, but it was also just nine criminals. That wasn’t even two human hands worth! It was just an embarrassment. Did he really think he could stop all the bad guys tonight?
“Well, you see… it was all part of my plan.”
“Oh?” Jake asked. “And what plan was that?”
Oh boy, Meows was hoping no questions would be asked, but then again he was very vague about said plan, wasn’t he? There was no one to blame but himself.
“Um.”
Meows cleared his little throat. If he had a blanket beneath his paws instead of Jake’s fancy one of a kind superhero suit, he would be kneading anxiously.
“Tomorrow is your birthday.” Meows paused, and Jake hummed in understanding. He continued. “A-and you go on patrols every night, and I didn’t want you to. You work too hard! And— and so, I thought if I fought enough bad guys for you, then you wouldn’t have to go out anymore…”
See? Embarrassing. When the silence stretched on for too long, Meows curled his tail around himself and tried to hide behind it. It was so embarrassing, Jake was speechless! He always had something to say.
But quiet he stayed. Meows nestled his face into his shoulder as they continued to glide and turn through the night sky. The sound of the wind, the traffic, and the weight Meows’s embarrassment was so great, he missed the turn of Jake’s head.
Until the kisses hit.
“H-hey!” Meows exclaimed, but his cries of protest were ignored in favor of the head pecks. “Jake! What are you— oi!”
“Your first ‘oi’!” He laughed. “Steven will be so proud.”
“Mmph!”
No matter how loud his protests got, Meows didn’t stand a chance against Jake and the kisses. He was too powerful! Not because Meows actually… began to enjoy them. Nu-uh. He was just happy Jake was, again, not upset, even if the kisses confused him.
“Oh, buddy,” he said, planting one more kiss on top of his little head before pulling away. Jake steered their homemade hang glider to the right as they neared the apartment again. “I wouldn’t let Big Bird boss me around like that. The most I would’ve done is a light sweep.” He grinned. “But you beat me to it.”
Meows gasped and patted his paws against him. “Really?” Jake was never in danger of missing out on his birthday? Meows would do a happy dance if he could!
“Really,” he said. Jake paused in order to focus on landing them on the building’s roof safely and being him, he did perfectly. Once he was back onto his feet, Jake retracted the suit and scooped him up. Meows giggled as he was held right in front of his unmasked face, and he reached up to press his little paws to it. Jake smiled into it. “You’ve been a big help, buddy. But let’s get you inside. It’s been a big night for you.”
Meows perked up. “But it’ll be an even bigger day for you.”
Jake’s smile softened. “It’ll be a big day for both of us.” He closed the distance one more time, booping him gently. “So let’s make sure we get plenty of rest, hm?”
As he walked them in the direction of the stairs, Meows snuggled close as they began their journey back home. Tonight might have been a busy one, but tomorrow won’t be. Meows purred happily as they descended.
Mission success!