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fixation, psychosis, or a secret third thing (love)

Summary:

Dabi used to feel so much, but, ever since his accident, he hasn’t felt a damn thing. Not genuinely anyway. Not physically. His nerves are fried. His organs barely work. It’ll be a miracle if Hawks will be able to make him feel anything…

OR

Dabi ends up falling for a hero…Hawks ends up regretting everything.

DabiHawksWeek 2024: Prompt Seven: Songfic

Inspired by: Far Too Young To Die by Panic! At The Disco

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Dabi stands at the harbor under the moonlight, pressing the pads of his fingers into the scars under his eyelids, blood wetting his fingertips as he tries to stop the bleeding. There are a handful of reasons why he’s crying…well…as much as Dabi is able to cry. Whenever he gets worked up, blood simply leaks from his fucked up tear ducts, threatening to burst the staples and welling up into his eyes until all he can see is crimson. It should be painful…but Dabi hasn’t felt anything in years. Dabi used to feel so much, but, ever since his accident, he hasn’t felt a damn thing. Not genuinely anyway. Not physically. His nerves are fried. His organs barely work. The only thing that still seems to be unwavering is his mind and his heart, ironically, considering the world believes him to be an insane, unfeeling killer. Admittedly, he does believe he’s gone insane, plagued with nightmares of his victim’s families…of what might’ve happened if he stayed in that hospital when he woke up from a coma…of what happened on the mountain that fateful night. Dabi barely slept at all anymore, scared of what might be waiting for him when he slipped into unconsciousness. It was only when his body forcibly shut down…or when he felt himself forcibly shutting down that he would sleep…if you could even call it sleeping. Lately though, his nightmares have changed. Lately, they’ve been filled with a certain pair of red wings…and they might not even be classified as nightmares anymore.

Dabi was, laughably, down bad for quite possibly the first time ever in his life. This meeting in particular had proved it. The rush he got from Hawks pulling the feather blade on him…pressing it neatly against his throat in a way that made Dabi’s skin crawl deliciously. It was a miracle he had kept his cool at all, simply putting up the uncaring front he’d crafted over the years. He found his mask slipping ever so slightly, the flirtatious tone in his voice painfully apparent when he nonchalantly pushed away the sword. He could see it in Hawks’ eyes…something wavered. That airtight hero persona flickered into nothingness for less than a moment. Was it reciprocation? Disgust? Confusion? Dabi didn’t know. He’d learned to not use the word hope anymore, so he couldn’t decide exactly what he thought about it. 

It’s part of the reason why he’s crying. It’s that he feels like…if it is…if it is that word he refuses to think…then he doesn’t deserve it. Besides, what if Hawks really is a scummy double agent, and it would all be for nothing. His paranoia pounds against his skull, wrestling intimately with his heart. Why would Hawks ever be interested in him ? His face looks disgusting. There’s the threat that he’ll burst into flames and kill them both if he gets too worked up. He doesn’t even have any education past middle school. Hawks, on the other hand, has been trained by the Commission for roughly seventy percent of his life up to this point, getting the best education, the best clothes, the best doctors…the best…everything. Dabi hasn’t had a proper checkup in…who knows how long. He knew he was clean and that was enough. The only doctor he could really go to was Ujiko…and he’d rather just die than ask him for anything…not after what he almost did. 

Truly…he feels pathetic. He’s never been good enough for anyone…not for his family…not for himself…not for this rotten society…why would he be good enough for Hawks? Why should he allow any sort of delusion into his life when he’d been carefully constructing his revenge? Why should he leave any room for Hawks to throw a wrench into his plans? 

The cold air whips through Dabi’s inky black hair, and he squints up at the constellations, unable to make anything out through his shitty vision. He takes a deep breath before pulling the microphone in the collar of his jacket up to his mouth.

“Ready, Ujiko,” Dabi sighs, the revolting sensation of black muck pooling in his stomach and surging up his throat. Dabi lurches, the dark ooze pouring out of his mouth and surrounding him. For a few seconds, he’s suffocating, until the murkiness clears and he’s standing in the doctor’s laboratory. 

Dabi’s alone, sitting on the couch of the League’s temporary hideaway, staring at the ceiling, wishing that a certain Pro Hero was sitting on it with him. He can’t get their warehouse interaction out of his head. Was Hawks really so ignorant as to think that Dabi’s incapable of thinking long-term? That’s been his whole shtick ever since he’d been living on the streets, biding his time and contemplating his vengeance. Hawks was supposed to be one of the top heroes in the nation, just a few points shy of…that thing . Perhaps Dabi really had succeeded with his plan, covering up his emotionally reactive nature with a cold and callous facade. 

BZZT! BZZT!

The burner phone on the table vibrates. Only one person has the number to that phone. A sly smirk spreads across Dabi’s face as he grabs it, accepting the call and holding it to his scarred ear. 

“Crawling back to me so soon?” Dabi sneers, prompting an irritated snort from Hawks on the other end of the phone.

“Just wanted confirmation that you’re not gonna pull a little stunt on me again,” The hero’s voice is low and laced with annoyance; it fills Dabi’s veins with a sick thrill. 

“Live and learn, hero . You never could control me. There was never a point. You’re the one that still needs to prove yourself,” Dabi trills flirtatiously into the phone, the tension so thin you could cut it with a butter knife. “But…what happened the other day was…unfortunate.”

“I understand that plans change…I just would’ve liked a little heads up,” Hawks sighs, but his sudden change in tone sets off Dabi’s paranoia.

“You can’t trace this call,” He spits into the phone, his voice taking on a malicious edge, and Hawks clicks his tongue.

“I’m not…just…waiting to see what your next task for me is. I’m too fast for my own good. You know the slogan. Wanna be on top of this.”

“What, so you can betray me faster?” Dabi snaps. 

The silence is chilling. 

“I want you to trust me, Dabi. I’m genuinely interested. If you’ve done your research you know those bastards got their claws into me early. I started my first agency at eighteen. I could’ve been a normal kid with a normal life. Record-breaking is nice…but it would be nicer to be free.”

“That’s what I’m here for…to complicate and corrupt your little bird brain,” Dabi sneers, still struggling to buy Hawks’ words…but part of him desperately wants to. Hawks could just be whispering sweet nothings to placate him…but…what if… Dabi takes a deep breath. One final task to truly prove himself…Hawks has to take a life for Dabi. 

“I’ve got a job for you alright.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing running through Dabi’s mind when he walks off the stage in the basement of the Gunga Mountain Villa is that he wonders if Hawks showed up. Hawks successfully slaughtering Best Jeanist was the hottest thing anyone’s ever done for him…and, if he didn’t think he was attracted to Hawks before, he sure as hell was sure of it now.

The PLF members part, giving Dabi a wide berth as he strides through the crowd, eyeing him warily like he’s a bomb waiting to go off. To be fair, he killed a number of their comrades…but they fucking deserved it. It was kill or be killed…and he just happened to be better at killing. Embarrassingly, Dabi’s eyes light up when he spots a familiar pair of crimson wings through the sea of anarchists. 

‘You’re too attached…’ Dabi’s thoughts degrade himself for allowing his emotions to slip through the cracks. Hawks is schmoozing with a woman…probably a fan with the way she’s acting all giddy. Something in the back of Dabi’s mind tells him to char her where she stands, but he swallows it down. He doesn’t need anyone else to catch on to his thing with Hawks…whatever the thing was…fleeting touches…light flirting…staring a little too long at one another…yet, neither of them had made a real move. 

“You look happy, number two, up to somethin’?” Dabi raises his eyebrow as he approaches the Pro Hero. 

“Nah, man. I was just waitin’ for you,” Hawks chuckles with a bright smile, and Dabi would be lying if he said he wouldn’t burn a thousand innocents to see that stupid smile for the rest of his days. 

“You know…I wasn’t even sure you were gonna show,” Dabi mutters as they make their way through the crowd. Hawks is walking close enough to Dabi that their hands slightly brush against one another, but Dabi barely even registers it. 

“Of course I’d show up for you ,” Hawks smirks, batting his eyelashes enough for Dabi to notice, regrettably making his heart skip a beat. 

“Don’t flatter me,” Dabi mutters tersely as they reach the doors leading to the exit corridor. 

“C’mon, Dabs. You think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me?” Hawks whispers, just loud enough for Dabi to hear. “Why don’t we move this conversation to your bedroom?”

Dabi nearly chokes on his own spit, completely caught off guard by Hawks’ forwardness as he stops in his tracks. Sure, Hawks could just be seducing him for intel, but goddamnit if Dabi didn’t want him on top of him right now. Even if he couldn’t physically feel anything…Dabi at least wanted him to try . If he would just try, then it would be enough. It would be more than anyone else had ever done for him. He feels pathetic…pathetic for even letting these types of thoughts enter his brain…pathetic for romanticizing the idea… He’s supposed to be focused on one goal and one goal alone. Hawks isn’t a part of his plan…but…maybe…

“Hello? Dabi?” Hawks chuckles, waving his hand in front of the villain’s face. Dabi blinks, mouth dry and throat scratchy, zoning back into the world. 

“Why?” The word falls from Dabi’s lips, full of confusion and apprehension. Why would Hawks want him if it wasn’t for intel? His body…he hasn’t… Dabi swallows, painfully aware of his own breathing pattern as memories come fluttering back to the front of his brain…memories that he’d pushed down. Before the league…after he woke up…living on the street…what he had to do just to get enough money for food… Sex with Hawks didn’t seem like it would mirror those memories though… Sex with Hawks sounded gentle… It sounded like he wouldn’t be treated like a toy. It sounded like Hawks would take care of him…and…isn’t that really one of the things that he’s always wanted? To be taken care of? For someone to look at him? For someone to make him feel like he’s worth it?

“Because you’ve got a thing for me…and I’ve got a thing for you? Unless I’ve misunderstood something. Thought most of your talk was flirty…even if it was on the meaner side. Why don’t we celebrate your promotion, lieutenant ,” Hawks shrugs with a cheeky smile, and Dabi doesn’t know what to think. Surely, he’s not that easy to read. No one else has managed to see through him…until now. Was he really even trying to hide it? Was he really staring that much? He’d be an idiot not to take this chance. It’s not like anyone else will ever want to be with him anyway…hell…Hawks might change his mind, too. Dabi looks around, making sure that they’re not being watched before grabbing Hawks’ wrist and pulling him behind a pillar.  

“Hawks…I need you to know something…if…if we’re really gonna do this,” Dabi mutters, trying to piece together his thoughts appropriately. 

“Hm?” Hawks hums, raising an eyebrow, waiting for Dabi to continue. 

Dabi speaks incredibly vaguely, omitting names and locations and time frames, giving an extremely watered-down version of the state of his body and why. He also explains that it’ll be a miracle if Hawks will be able to make him feel anything at all...that his inability to feel physical pain also translated to an inability to feel physical pleasure. He hates the look in the hero’s eyes…he doesn’t want pity…but…there’s also clear determination in his gaze.

Before Dabi can open his mouth, Hawks is kissing him. 

It’s such a strange sensation. He can’t feel the kiss…not really . Not the soft, tender kiss that Hawks gently presses to his lips. He can’t feel the hand that’s cupping the side of his face, just a ghost of a sensation that might’ve happened. Dabi’s eyelids flutter closed, and he attempts to kiss Hawks back, moving his lips in a way that he thinks is right…still…he practically feels nothing physically. That is…until Hawks licks deliberately into his mouth. Hawks’ warm tongue meets Dabi’s hot one, and…he can feel it; the villain eagerly jabs his tongue, sliding against Hawks’ and going further into his mouth. Hawks nearly yelps when Dabi starts practically tongue-fucking his mouth, the stitches in his tongue brushing against Hawks’ lip as Dabi traces his molars. Hawks groans…a sound that Dabi immediately becomes addicted to, and Dabi wraps his arms around the hero, grasping at the back of his jacket and pulling him close.

Finally, they both come up for air. 

“Fuck, your tongue’s long,” Hawks snickers, wiping the spit from his lips with the back of his gloved hand, and Dabi swears he feels blood rushing to his cheeks and his groin. Despite his fears, Hawks has at least turned him on…which is a start. He wants more …more of this animalistic sensation that he’s gone his whole life without. He wants the electricity of mutual worship and raw pleasure. 

“Let’s get outta here, birdie.”

Dabi didn’t care who saw them. Not anymore. He practically dragged Hawks up staircase after staircase, through the halls of villa, eventually through his door before slamming and locking it behind them. 

“Gotta ask. You clean?” Hawks clears his throat as he slips out of his jacket, draping it over the chair at Dabi’s desk. 

“Yeah…you?” Dabi mutters uncomfortably, thankful that he was able to speak truthfully. He follows Hawks’ lead, letting the conductor cuffs of his jacket fall to the floor.

“Course I’m clean. HPSC regulations,” Hawks replies curtly, and, then, he’s all over the villain once again. 

This time, it’s Dabi who moans, wanton and needy as his tongue massages Hawks’, and the two manage to sloppily kick off their shoes as the hero walks the villain backward until they’re both falling onto his bed. Dabi’s fingers run through Hawks’ hair, pulling him as close as humanly possible as Hawks’ hands grip the scars on his shoulders. 

“Lube?” Hawks murmurs breathlessly between kisses.

“Nightstand drawer,” Dabi answers into Hawks’ open mouth, tongues intertwining. Dabi feels the faint wind from Hawks’ feathers, hearing the opening and closing of a drawer in the darkness. 

Dabi sharply inhales when he feels Hawks’ hands at the hem of his shirt. How is Hawks going to react to his patchworked body of skin that doesn’t even belong to him? I mean…yeah, he’s seen his arms…but…the rest of him? Dabi certainly didn’t have Hawks’ body…with all his curves of muscle that Dabi had seen in a swimsuit magazine once. Dabi hated how he looked…he hated seeing himself in the mirror…a modern-day Frankenstein, only recently having enough to eat to put some weight on his formerly skeletal frame. By comparison, Hawks was a Greek god…though compared to anyone , that metaphor would still suffice. He’s so lost in his thoughts that he never noticed Hawks freeze when Dabi flinched. 

“If you’re not comfortable we can stop,” Hawks murmurs reassuringly, letting the pulled fabric fall back on Dabi’s pale lower stomach. The sentence almost makes Dabi sob, the gentleness in Hawks’ voice…it’s almost too much. Dabi isn’t used to anyone being gentle with him. 

“I want this,” Dabi rasps, the dull throbbing under his eyes starting up again, blood threatening to seep through.

Hawks smiles, eyes sultry and seductive. Tenderly, he lifts up Dabi’s shirt, mindful of the staples, avoiding snagging; when the last of it lifts off of Dabi’s head, a few feathers send it over to the chair with Hawks’ jacket. Dabi holds his breath, waiting for Hawks to comment about his body…waiting for his lips to curl and his nose to wrinkle and for him to walk away and pretend this never happened.

Instead, Hawks’ fingertips carefully trace over Dabi’s scars that run between his pecs and stomach, like he’s memorizing a map. 

“You’re beautiful,” The hero whispers, and the muscle beating in Dabi’s chest twists. Dabi reaches around Hawks’ neck, unclasping the button above his wings that holds his top on. Hawks grins before stepping off the bed to unhook his belt and pull off his pants, which is when Dabi realizes that his top has been a leotard this whole time. In his aroused state, he fumbles with his own belt to get his pants and boxers off, and, when he’s finally successful, Hawks is on top of him again. The Pro doesn’t even bat an eye at the obvious skin grafts or the healed stitches on his dick that didn’t need staples…he doesn’t make fun of him when he sees the scars that border stretch marks on his thighs and lead down to his ankles. Hawks’ gaze is full of devotion…full of emotions and words that Dabi doesn’t think he deserves. And yet…here they are…vulnerable…skin-to-skin. Hawks mouths at Dabi’s neck, sinking his teeth hard enough into his skin for Dabi to be aware of it, and the whimper that bursts from his throat is more than embarrassing. Dabi’s face flushes, unable to fully grasp the heat of Hawks’ body pressed against him…unable to sense the way his hands dance up and down his sides…or the way his lips caress the scars. Dabi’s too focused on their staggered breaths to hear the subtle squeeze of lube on Hawks’ fingers.

The moment Hawks slips a finger inside him, Dabi’s putty in his hands, moaning and groaning like a bitch in heat as he flexes against the slow roll of Hawks’ knuckle, trying to get more friction. His insides…there’s sensation there…an overwhelming amount compared to his outsides. He’s inconsolable, mouth agape, blood threatening to spill beneath his eyes as he tries not to cry from the pleasure. He didn’t know sex could feel this good…and fuck did he feel good. It felt personal…it had meaning …things that Dabi desperately craved. 

“You’re so gorgeous like this, Dabi,” Hawks croons, lube dripping from the villain’s hole as the hero continues to pump his finger in and out. The response is only a weak groan that’s halfway between a gasp and a sob as Dabi’s arms grab at Hawks’ neck, pulling him down for a filthy kiss. Hawks’ eyelids flutter shut as he obliges to Dabi’s greedy gesture, slipping his tongue into the villain’s mouth, tracing his scarred bottom lip. Dabi, out of practice and overwhelmed, practically sticks his tongue down Hawks’ throat, whimpering and silently pleading for more. He wanted to feel more. It was heaven to finally feel …and for the sensations to be ecstasy. 

“You want another one?” Hawks whispers, voice sweeter than nectar, and Dabi nods, wincing as the hero coaxes a second finger inside. The stretch is foreign, mildly uncomfortable, but Dabi’s so used to being numb that he doesn’t care. Hawks delicately curls his fingers, the rhythmic motion making heat coil in the pit of Dabi’s stomach…heat that is far different from the fire he’s used to. Dabi cries out as his muscles relax, allowing another finger to disappear inside him. To Dabi, hours have passed, maybe even days, time no longer has any meaning as his tongue swirls around Hawks’, sucking on his bottom lip as their heated breaths fill the night air. Hawks whispers soft praises between slutty lip locks, comforting Dabi all the while until the pain resolves and pleasure pulses through the villain. Hawks takes note of how much the muscle gives and decides to carefully pull his fingers out, leaving Dabi practically writhing beneath him, half-hard for the first time in who knows how long. 

Hawks’ eyes flutter shut, head tilting back and giving Dabi a full view of his pulsing jugular as he smooths lube over his erection. Feathers gently spread Dabi’s legs, pushing them up so Hawks can get a perfect view of his hole as he prepares to slip inside.

“Wait,” Dabi blurts, heart pounding and blood roaring in his ears. 

“Having second thoughts?” Hawks raises his eyebrow.

“Touya.” The name leaves Dabi’s lips before he can take it back. It’s too late. 

Hawks cocks his head, confused. Dabi can’t turn back now. 

“My name…My real name. It’s Touya. You can…you can call me Touya,” Dabi reveals, his voice quivering. 

The corners of Hawks’ eyes…usually so sharp, focused, and calculated, seem to soften. 

“Mine’s Keigo.” Too late for Hawks to take back the secret that the Commission would severely punish him for leaking. It felt…right. It felt right to finally speak it aloud…and it felt right to exchange this secret with Dabi…sanity be damned. 

“Keigo…that’s cute,” Touya smiles, relief washing over him. They’ve both shared something intrinsic. Something precious. It makes Touya feel…safe. He can’t remember the last time he actually felt safe. 

Breath hisses through Touya’s gritted teeth as Keigo’s tip slowly stretches him open, pain mixing with undeniable pleasure. 

“Fuck,” Touya whines, hating how stupid his voice must sound all twisted and submissive, but Keigo is intoxicated by it. Inch by inch, Keigo pushes inside, punching the air from Touya’s lungs until they’re skin-to-skin.

“Just breathe,” Keigo mutters reassuringly, letting the villain’s body get accustomed. Touya feels so… full . That’s the best way he can describe it. He feels…grounded…which is saying a lot considering most days he feels like a vengeful spirit floating through purgatory. At the same time, Keigo tries not to swoon at how hot Dabi’s insides feel wrapped around his cock.

Dabi’s dick twitches, his chest rising and falling, mind numb and yet so alive all at once. His brain is fuzzy, drowning in pleasure as he swallows hard, taking in all of the new ethereal sensations floating through his body, feeling the pain ebb.

“I’m ready,” He rasps, saliva pooling in his mouth as Keigo’s hips rock, and Touya winces at the friction. 

“Easy, baby,” Keigo purrs, and Touya’s brain melts at the pet name. 

Keigo ,” He moans his name without thinking, and the hero almost disintegrates from the raw emotions that surge through his body upon hearing that word spoken in that voice. 

“Oh, Touya, ” Keigo groans, his tone mimicking the villain’s as he carefully digs his fingers into Touya’s unscarred hips as he grinds, watching his cock vanish and reappear over and over and over again. His golden eyes lift up, meeting Touya’s glittering turquoise, and, frankly, he thinks Touya looks angelic right now, blissed out with flushed cheeks, sweaty and uncoordinated and…gorgeous. 

Hawks fully assumed this approach to Dabi would end in senseless fucking…chasing pleasure selfishly…but he was eighty-five percent sure they were genuinely making love right now. Dabi desperately grabs for Hawks, fingers finding purchase and sinking fingernails into his thick biceps.

“Can we ~ fuck~ can we kiss - ah- please?” Touya’s broken voice practically begs, and he can’t believe he’s fucking resorted to begging but if he doesn’t taste Hawks’ tongue soon he might just explode. The request makes Hawks’ heart flip in his chest…he’s never reached this level of intimacy with anyone before…and it’s with Dabi of all people? Keigo dips down, never once breaking his sensual rhythm of rolling his hips as his lips meet the villain’s. 

Touya gasps into the kiss, hands reaching up to tangle in Hawks’ blonde locks, holding him so he can’t break free. Touya’s inhumanly long tongue slithers into Hawks’ mouth, tracing his soft palate and massaging his tongue before he pulls away with a cry as Hawks changes the angle. Keigo delicately touches Touya’s prostate with his tip, and Touya’s thighs shake feebly. 

“You feel so good , Touya,” Keigo huffs, face inches away from the villain. They lock eyes once again, the eye contact stabbing through their souls. The praise goes right to Touya’s cock, which would be painfully hard if Touya could even feel it. His insides feel like they’re on fire with desire…ecstasy boiling in his veins like a raging inferno. He didn’t know these types of sensations could even exist…especially for him. He grabs onto Keigo, palms splaying in the space between his wings, fingernails scratching red lines against Hawks’ back. The heat coils in the pit of his stomach…and then…Touya feels his emotions feed into his Quirk. 

“Not safe…gonna… hah~ah! Oh fuck, I’m gonna burn you!” Touya warns, red blurring his vision as he feels the flames prickling beneath his skin. 

In Hawks’ mind, he has to let him do it. If he wants Dabi to trust him, he has to let him do it. His Achilles’ heel…this is quite possibly the most dangerous thing he’s ever done. He’s going to risk his wings catching on fire…all to ease the process of getting as much intel as possible. After this, he doubts Dabi will let him out of his sight much. Not that Hawks wasn’t enjoying this. Dabi was attractive…to Hawks at least. Even if the majority of it was for show, Hawks was into Dabi…at least a little bit. Enough for him to feel like he's fucking with feelings involved...enough for him to tell him his first name. 

“It’s fine,” Hawks chokes out, his languid thrusts rhythmically slamming into Dabi. 

“Don’t wanna hurt you,” Touya sobs into his ear, and he can’t even believe those words are coming out of his mouth after everything he’s done. He can’t fathom the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt Hawks. The hero blinks, abruptly taken aback; if anything, he’d assumed Dabi was a sadist. 

“It’s okay,” Keigo grunts, and that’s all Dabi needs to hear before he’s uncontrollably “crying”, rivers of red pouring from his lower eyelids and out from underneath the scars in his eyes. The smell of blood catches Hawks off guard, but Dabi had warned him about this…about the state of his body. 

Touya completely loses his composure when he comes, hips stuttering, legs clamping tightly against Hawks’ waist, palms igniting in searing heat in the space between Keigo’s wings. Dabi gasps, trying his best to turn the heat down and quiet his Quirk, more bloody tears streaking down his face when he hears Keigo stifling anguished curses. 

Keigo keeps going, fucking Touya through his orgasm, pulling moan after moan from Touya’s throat until the climax shoots lightning down his spine and into the villain. 

The fire stops...the sound of sizzling skin fills the air. 

When Hawks pulls out, the emptiness almost throws Touya into a pit of despair, and blood seeps out of his eyes for the millionth time that night. He shudders, feeling like that lost little kid on the streets again…alone. Almost immediately, Hawks' wings come cascading over the two of them, encasing Dabi in a crimson cocoon…safe…and intimate. His heart stills…the memories drift away…his mind settles. The sudden calm he’s experiencing…merely at his touch…There’s no other possible explanation. Dabi’s in love…with a hero

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four months later, Keigo Takami finds himself unable to sleep. Ironically, he’d been sleeping in Dabi’s bed just fine, vulnerable next to one of Japan’s most wanted. It felt…wrong. What he is doing is wrong. He knows it in his heart and his gut…but…he can’t turn back now. Killing Twice is going to be the second hardest thing Keigo will ever have to do…the first will be betraying Dabi’s trust. Trust that was so painstakingly hard to earn…trust that Dabi probably would never have in anyone else again…and it would be all Keigo’s fault. 

His duty is more important than such trivial things like feelings…that’s what the HPSC has taught him. But…a part of him…a part of him has grown soft. It was what he had silently been afraid of, though the Commission leader reassured him that they thought he was the one person who could do it. They told him to get information and trust by any means necessary…even if it meant sleeping with Dabi. After all, he was one of the only people they couldn’t find any intel on…what better way to get closer

Originally, Hawks was disturbed by the thought. The idea of sleeping with a villain …someone who’s stolen innocent lives for his own sick and twisted ideals…ideals that solely focused on burning everything Hawks stood for to the ground. But…as time went on…he felt like he got to know Dabi better...especially once the dam broke, and Dabi spilled. Unconsciously, he was humanized in Hawks’ mind…no… Keigo’s mind. Keigo knew bits and pieces of his past…and Keigo knew his first name. The only leads he had to go on…but…he hadn’t shared them yet. It felt…wrong. Once again. On the other side of the coin. It would be wrong for him to divulge intricate pieces of information that weren’t pertinent to his mission. Keigo’s morals tended to get the best of him when he found loopholes. Because he also knew Dabi as a person now. He knew he hated fish. He knew what side of the bed he preferred to sleep on. He knew what his favorite constellation was. He knew the villain intimately…which he had never planned on. 

Keigo sits up in bed, turning to look at Dabi’s sleeping form. He’d found it was easy to tire Dabi out after an orgasm or two; Dabi even said it made him less likely to have nightmares, but that might’ve just been bullshit. 

Tomorrow…the war begins. Tomorrow…he has to break Dabi’s heart. Keigo feels his chest tighten and his throat close. Oh, he’s in too deep. He’s proving the Commission leader wrong…he isn’t perfect. 

Dabi stirs, grumbling curses as he sleepily blinks awake, roused by Keigo’s soft stifled sobs. Keigo hurriedly starts wiping away tears; he can’t be weak in front of Dabi . Especially if they’re going to potentially kill each other tomorrow. Oh God…the thought of killing Touya ? Tears silently stream down the hero’s face. 

“Are you…are you crying?” 

The question cuts through the air like a knife. 

“Bad dream.”

You could hear a pin drop in Dabi’s bedroom. Keigo thumbs away his tears, but they keep coming. The hero pulls his knees to his chest, putting his head down. 

“Hey, uh…I don’t give a shit if you cry…I used to be a big crybaby before my tear ducts got fucked up,” Dabi scoffs, using self-deprecation to ease the tension as he props himself up on his elbows, trying to catch Keigo’s silhouette in the thin rays of moonlight that pour in through the window. Touya takes a deep breath, sitting up beside Keigo before apprehensively putting the palm of his hand in the space between Keigo’s wings, rubbing the scarred shape of his handprint from their first time. It felt disgusting to care, but Dabi couldn’t ignore it anymore.

The motion of Touya rubbing his back almost makes Keigo cry even harder. He’s going to lose this forever. He’s going to absolutely destroy Touya. He has to. He has no choice; he doesn’t want that bright future he’s always envisioned to be snuffed out by the PLF’s plans. If he doesn’t kill Twice…so many lives will be lost…so many innocents…Keigo’s heart isn’t worth that price. Keigo isn’t worth that price. Keigo can’t see through the tears and the shadows, and he doesn’t know how he’s not openly losing it. He’s sitting there like a statue…eerily still. 

Touya, half-asleep and completely out of his fucking mind, decides the best way to distract Keigo is to say:

“Hey…uh…this might be a bad time…but…I want you to know…that…I lo-”

'Fuck .'

That does it. Hawks has to completely shut Keigo down. The tears stop flowing. He can’t let his mission be compromised. He has to stick to his guns…stick to everything the Commission has driven into him since he was a child. Before Dabi can finish his sentence, Hawks turns to face him…and kisses him. 

For once …Dabi feels everything. Touya feels the passion in the kiss. He feels how desperately Hawks clings to him, sucking on the unburned flesh of his top lip, gently tracing Dabi’s tongue with his own, teeth clicking together. Touya kisses him back, fingers fluttering through feathers, and they fall back onto the pillows. 

One last kiss…one last kiss while they’re far too young to die…but they just might kill each other in the morning…

Notes:

I really hope you guys enjoyed this one! I've been meaning to actually write this for a long time, and the final DabiHawks Week prompt gave me a good excuse! <3

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