Work Text:
watched you on the screens
as I was walking, as I was cooking
Soohyuk spots another birthday for someone familiar on his walk back to his apartment. A smile tugs at his mouth and without thinking, he pulls his phone out and snaps a picture of it.
He sends it to Soonyoung, a tiger emoji and a cake emoji serving as the caption.
Soonyoung texts him back as he punches in the code to his house.
That’s the third one this week!!!!
Soohyuk smiles down at his screen. If he were to see his reflection, he’s not sure he would recognise himself. He has been in love before, when he was younger and felt the need for love to be something grandiose and larger than life.
He’s not that person anymore but it still catches him by surprise, how his love for Soonyoung feels as large as life itself. How everywhere he goes, he can find something that holds the essence of the man he loves. It’s silly and he feels like he is twenty two and experiencing love for the first time.
He almost forgets to reply to the text but it strikes him right as he is about to clean up the leftovers from his dinner.
You’re famous, baby.
Did you eat dinner?
The reply is almost immediate, as though Soonyoung sat by his phone waiting for a reply. Soohyuk is aware that it is not a possibility but he still allows himself to float in the air for thirty seconds.
Yes!!!
Mingyu cooked
He lost a bet ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Momentarily, Soohyuk feels a twinge of jealousy prod at his heart. He hasn’t seen Soonyoung in months and it is taking a toll on him whether he wants to admit to it or not. Soohyuk loves him which means he understands that Soonyoung is who he is partially because of the members and it is an irrefutable fact.
Yet, it doesn’t soothe the sting. Soohyuk has to scour through his calendar for days where he and Soonyoung will both be free to spend just an evening together while his members are free to see him every single day. It is irrational and his thought process would rival that of a thirteen year old’s but Soohyuk is love-sick and he misses his boyfriend.
Let’s meet next week?
I miss you, Soonyoung-ah.
Soohyuk is not a clingy person, at least not to the extent that Soonyoung is but deep down, he is also weak and susceptible to his emotional side. Maybe it’s the fact that Soohyuk has seen Soonyoung on birthday ads and sides of the bus and on naver’s homepage more times than they’ve seen each other in the last month or maybe it’s being in love but either way Soohyuk finds himself longing and yearning terribly.
His manager says yearning looks ugly on his face and Soohyuk scowled at her but secretly, he is bound to agree. He appears genuinely distressed rather than longing for his lover. It was a good thing there was no one else to see him be reduced down to this: yearning for his hot, younger boyfriend while he took a break from shootings and schedules.
Can’t next week :( :( :(
There’s a company meeting hyung
Soohyuk is an adult who does not pout whatsoever but he definitely does pout at the messages. He vows to take this to the grave with him. The pout changes into a small smile as the next text comes through.
I MISS YOU MORE HYUNG!!!
💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
It coaxes a chuckle out of him, indulgent and laden with a softness that would make the elements weep with joy. Perhaps he is more love-sick than he had anticipated to be. Either way, as much as it burns to not be able to see Soonyoung, he knows the light of his love burns brighter.
– 🪞 –
As if Soonyoung’s absence wasn’t a constant ache in his side, the universe begins to work against Soohyuk. It starts out with more birthday ads even though Soonyoung’s birthday isn’t due for another week. He is everywhere.
Soohyuk loves Soonyoung and he wants nothing but success for his lover but his presence or at least his pictures, Hoshi of seventeen, Hoshi this, Hoshi that plastered everywhere makes the hollow in his chest oh so much deeper. He doesn’t want to see Hoshi, he wants to see Soonyoung, the man who falls asleep in Soohyuk’s arms and kisses him after a shower. He wants his lover in his arms but they are both so busy, Soohyuk resents the nature of his job just a little bit. It led him to meeting Soonyoung but it is also what is keeping them apart. If Soohyuk was an ordinary salaryman he could be taking an entire day off and wasting away the hours of the day with his boyfriend.
Yet, it is only a far fetched dream in the lives they lead currently.
Soohyuk tries to clear his mind and browses through his pantry, trying to find ingredients for a simple stir fry. There’s rice in the rice cooker already, he had cooked it a little earlier, having craved for bibimbap. Now he doesn’t crave it anymore but he hates wasting food and cooking will help him ease off the worries clouding his head.
He turns on the TV for chatter to keep him company as he navigates his way through the kitchen, adding oil to the pan and chopping bell peppers even though he usually doesn’t like them.
While the vegetables are cooking, he flips through the channels, trying to find something that will keep acting as background noise without grating on his nerves. He lands on re-runs of weekly idol. It’s random clips of funny moments.
The smell of slightly burnt vegetables reaches Soohyuk and he abandons the remote on the table and runs to check on his food. Luckily, it is not too burnt and is fairly salvageable.
Soohyuk adds the rest of the ingredients in and seasons it to his liking, adding a pinch more than he usually does, not needing to manage his diet for now.
He plates them up and carries the steaming pile of rice and stir fried vegetables and meat to the living room where the TV blasts shadows onto the sparsely decorated walls.
He snaps a picture of his food and sends it to Soonyoung. Soohyuk is not used to this, the fluttering in his sternum and the yearning that consumes him. He never considered himself as a needy boyfriend but the more time he spends apart from Soonyoung, the more he begins to crave for the days where they can be each other’s at all hours.
Perhaps he did take their dates for granted, Soonyoung squeezing every moment of free time to spend it with Soohyuk, trying to gather enough courage to confess. Soohyuk is happy that Soonyoung doesn’t feel the need to work himself to the bone to make sure his feelings reach Soohyuk but he still selfishly wishes for Soonyoung to make time for him.
Still, Soohyuk thanks the higher powers for even blessing him with a chance to experience something as joyous as being in love and being loved back by someone as wonderful as Soonyoung. He doesn’t think anyone or any other love in his life will ever come close to this.
I wish you were here
Keep seeing you everywhere, Soonyoung-ah
Soonyoung doesn’t reply immediately so Soohyuk goes back to eating his dinner, the TV continuing to play the clips. The cavity in his heart refuses to patch itself up. Maybe Soohyuk prefers it.
He receives a reply as he’s putting the dirty dishes away in the dishwasher. His hands still smell like the dishwashing tablets but the name on the notification triumphs over his usual need for cleanliness.
They’re texts from Soonyoung.
Hyung 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I WISH I WAS THERE TOO 😭😭😭😭
I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Attached is a picture of Soonyoung doing his signature horanghae pose. Soohyuk chuckles and records a four second voice note of him laughing and sends it to Soonyoung.
The loud ache subsides into a quieter whine. He can live with this till the next time they meet.
– 🪞 –
Soohyuk senses that something is off the minute he gets into the car. His manager is giggling as she types away on her phone and it wouldn’t be enough for him to be suspicious about but the cadence of her laugh is different.
Even his driver smiles at him, a little more than necessary and it forces him to wonder if there is something he is forgetting, like a holiday or a festival or if someone has sent his team something expensive and tasty.
Yet, he doesn’t probe, not seeing any reason in doing so. They could be having a good day, perhaps they are all excited about the break they’re about to go on since Soohyuk finished filming for the drama.
He nods to himself, placated by this simple reasoning. He finds himself smiling too, pleasant and not as exhausted as he was an hour ago.
If it were any other day, Soohyuk would be catching up on texts from his friends and Soonyoung but he decides since he is free for the upcoming week and the next, he can leisurely get to his daily tasks. He puts off reading his messages and emails until the next morning and relaxes into the seat, dreaming about all the sleep he is going to catch up on.
The doorman gives him a small nod and Soohyuk nods back. Everyone has been smiling at him a bit more than usual. The remnants of his smile play at the corners of his mouth.
While waiting for the elevator, he swipes through his notification and feels his mood dampen a little as he sees there are no messages from Soonyoung. He is not clingy, he is a man in his thirties, he’s had relationships before where both of them were busy and could only meet one a week or less.
Yet, this is so much more. He notes a vast difference in his reactions towards his past relationships when compared to his current one with Soonyoung.
He gets off the elevator and punches the code into the keypad. The door buzzes open and the first thing he notices is that he has company. The aroma of food is the second thing he notices.
Cautiously, he reaches for an umbrella and grips it tight.
“Hello?” he calls out, waiting for the other person to show themselves.
The umbrella falls from his hand when Soonyoung pops out of a room and gapes at him, eyes wide and hair messy.
“Hyung! Welcome home,” he says, loud and cheery, almost tripping over a stray sock on the floor in his haste to throw himself at Soohyuk.
Soohyuk barely catches him but he does catch him nonetheless. Soonyoung is a warm weight in his arms, steady and real. He doesn’t need to watch him on a screen and smile at the pictures of him printed on advertisement billboards. His lover is in his arms, in his space, smiling into the crook of his neck, body warm enough to melt the ice that had been slowly freezing him over from the inside out.
“Soonyoung-ah,” he murmurs, suddenly overcome with all the love he’s been swallowing and denying to not blow up into devastating tears.
Soonyoung kisses his cheek and then his jaw. “Surprise!” he trills and it makes Soohyuk so happy he could eat the earth whole.
“Baby,” he says, cupping Soonyoung’s face. His cheeks are soft and eyes happy, curving into sweet crescents of the moon. “I’m home,” he murmurs and kisses him, deep and slow, uncaring that he tastes like hours old ice americano and mints and watermelon bubblegum.
Soonyoung kisses him back just as deep and slow. His mouth is sweet and Soohyuk licks in deeper, his hunger taking over and entwining with desire, tongue pressing into his teeth, trying to memorise the taste of his lover.
He would have kept kissing, giving up on air if it wasn’t for Soonyoung breaking off with a gasp and a whine. His face is flushed pink and ears bright red, eyes sparkly and round and a little glazed over as he looks up at Soohyuk.
“I cooked dinner for you, hyung,” he says, mouth red red red and Soohyuk wants to throw caution to the wind and devour him.
Soonyoung is here, in his house, in his space, in his kitchen, in his arms and Soohyuk is the happiest man ever.
He kisses his forehead and lingers for a moment too long. “Let’s eat then.”
Soonyoung smiles like Soohyuk has handed him the moon itself. He would. He would if Soonyoung asks.
— 🪞—
Dinner is a loud affair, Soonyoung falls over himself trying to catch Soohyuk up with everything that has been going on in his life, starting it with a story about chocolate pudding to Wonwoo’s broken frames.
Soohyuk smiles so much that his cheeks still ache.
As they clear the last of the rice and kimchi, Soohyuk nudges Soonyoung’s foot with his.
Soonyoung gapes at him and laughs, “Are you playing footsies?”
He reddens at being asked so blatantly and tries to pull his foot back but Soonyoung wraps his ankle around his and he stills.
“You’re so cute, hyung,” he says, smiling so wide his eyes become crescent moons.
He clears his throat. “I’ll do the dishes. You should go wash up,” Soohyuk offers, reaching across the table to run his thumb across his cheek.
Soonyoung leans into the touch, gaze gentle. “I can do the dishes. You should shower first and relax a little.”
Soohyuk pulls himself away, untangles his limbs from his boyfriend’s and Soonyoung pouts. He pushes his chair back and quickly stalks over to the other side of the table.
He dips down and kisses him, kimchi and onion soup breath and all, cupping his face with warm, calloused hands.
Soonyoung makes a little whimpering noise against his lips and Soohyuk deepens the kiss, runs his tongue along the plushness of Soonyoung’s lips until he parts them and the taste of him floods into Soohyuk’s mouth.
“You’re so sweet, Soonyoung-ah. I could eat you right up, right here,” he murmurs against his lips.
Soonyoung’s face is pink, a blush creeping over his cheeks to his ears to his throat. He shyly swats at Soohyuk, his hand coming up to grip his shoulder.
“You’re an animal,” he teases, smiling and a laugh bubbling out of him.
Soohyuk pecks him on the lips again, once, twice, thrice. “Shower with me. We can do the dishes later.”
“I’m not the one who was out all day, hyung. I can take a shower once the dishes are done,” Soonyoung firmly replies, gently pushing him away. Soohyuk resists the urge to pout back at him. He is an adult male in his thirties. He doesn’t pout.
With one last, too short for his liking, he parts from his lover.
Despite his urgency to see Soonyoung again, he allows his muscles the relaxation they deserve and stands under the hot water until he stops feeling like a wound up spring.
Without bothering to dry his hair fully, he takes large steps into the living room and hears the sound of the other shower running. A vine of disappointment twines around his heart. He wants Soonyoung in his arms already, he has been patient, he’s done everything he could to not be an inconvenience with his longing but he cannot help himself. He wants so much it makes him weak in the knees.
The dishwasher is loaded and running. Soohyuk cleans up the mess of trinkets lying around his place just so he has something to do with his hands.
He is wiping down the kitchen counters for the second time when the shower turns off and Soonyoung pads out into the room.
“Ah, hyung, I already wiped them down,” he whines.
Soohyuk turns around at the sound of his voice and immediately feels his mouth dry up. Soohyuk himself wears shirts that are a size larger so he can move around freely and — and Soonyoung is swimming in it. It is a longer one that falls to mid-thigh. Paired with the plain tee are Soohyuk’s sweatpants.
“I hope you don’t mind I borrowed some clothes from your closet,” Soonyoung shyly says, feet covered by the hem of his borrowed sweats.
Soohyuk’s heart swells. He abandons the rag and quickly washes his hands.
“Soonyoung-ie,” he coos. “I don’t mind at all, baby. You look so — so adorable.” He wraps his arms around Soonyoung’s waist, pulse surging as he is once again reminded of how small his boyfriend’s waist is.
Soonyoung cups his cheeks in his palms. His hands are warm and smell like Soohyuk’s shower gel. He smells like his home, like him. A part of his brain murmurs like mine. He tries to ignore it for the moment.
“Hyung is being so sweet to me,” he notes, nose wrinkling as he breaks out into a pleased grin. “I missed this.”
Soohyuk tugs him closer, so close that the lines of their bodies align and he can feel the phantom beat of Soonyoung’s heart through his own ribs and sternum.
“I missed you,” he confesses, one arm unwinding from around his waist to hold his wrist. He pulls his palm lower and brushes his lips across it in a tender whisper of a kiss. “So much. Saw you on the tv, on the news, on subway ads. I missed holding you and…” he trails off.
Soonyoung leans in so their faces are only inches apart. “And?” he probes.
“And kissing you,” he finishes, dipping down to kiss him. Soonyoung parts his lips willingly, smelling like the home Soohyuk has built but also like the home he has found in him.
And Soohyuk continues — he kisses him and kisses him and kisses him and the light of his love burns as bright as the sun.