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His sobs were the only thing that could be heard in the room.
Jungkook was in the middle of the bed he shared with his boyfriend, his hands covering his eyes and his elbows resting firmly on his crossed legs.
He didn't know what had triggered his state; just minutes ago he was watching one of his favorite series, and now the show played in the background as tears streamed down his face.
With the sleeve of his sweater, he wiped his eyes, only for them to fill with tears again immediately.
He hugged himself, trying to give himself some calm to quiet his mind.
Nothing was enough; he felt like he wasn't enough.
He wasn't enough for his career, he wasn't enough for his parents, he wasn't enough for his friends, and as far as he imagined, he wasn't even enough for his partner.
"Love, are you okay?" he heard his boyfriend's soft voice approaching down the hallway.
No, no, no.
What was Taehyung doing at home so early?
His vision blurred once more, and another sob escaped his lips as soon as he spotted the older one crossing through the door.
Being vulnerable was the only thing worse than not being able to meet everyone's expectations of him.
A weight sank one side of the mattress, and by inertia, all he could do was grab one of the pillows from the opposite side, pressing it against his chest and covering his face with it.
"Jungkook" Taehyung began, placing his hand on the younger one's shoulder before noticing him pulling away from his touch.
Jungkook sniffled, "Hyung, please leave me alone."
Deep down, it wasn't what he wanted, but his mind couldn't stop thinking that his boyfriend deserved better.
No one wanted a crybaby who couldn't do anything right.
Taehyung sighed, and Jungkook bit his lower lip to silence his sobs, but even more tears began to cover his face when the weight beside him disappeared.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He was so stupid, and Taehyung had finally given up; it wasn't worth fighting for him.
His boyfriend could now find someone better, someone who wouldn't explode and cause a drama over nothing.
His whole body was trembling, and his heart was pounding just thinking that he would be alone again. He felt unworthy, a burden that no one should have to bear.
This time, he felt the mattress sink on the opposite side, now much closer to his body but without any physical contact.
He opened his mouth to say something, feeling the words get stuck in his throat, "Hyung, I-"
"Don't speak, baby," Taehyung interrupted barely in a whisper, "I don't want you to explain now; I just want to be there for you and listen what you have to say when you're ready."
Jungkook felt his heart sink. His boyfriend had always been so understanding with him; he didn't deserve to have to put up with him every time his emotions skyrocketed.
He curled up, tucking his knees to his chest as new whimpers filled the room. He didn't deserve the love he received.
He couldn't shake the feeling of suffocation, the weight of expectations crushing him from all sides. He tried to drown out the voices in his head, but they echoed louder with each passing second.
Still clinging to the pillow, he stretched out one of his hands toward where he assumed his boyfriend was, and he took it quickly.
« When that beautiful head of yours fills with ugly thoughts, just take my hand; I'll make sure to dispel every ounce of sadness from your body. »
He remembered his boyfriend's words from a conversation months ago, so he wanted to test if the other still remembered his promise.
Jungkook could feel the warmth of the other's hand travel to his heart almost instantly.
"Hyung is with you, baby; you're not alone, okay?" the older one mentioned as he intertwined their fingers, taking the opportunity to stroke the back of his hand with his thumb.
His sobs became even louder as soon as he heard his boyfriend's words, letting them resonate over and over again in his mind.
He's not alone.
Taehyung delicately unclasped their fingers, moving quickly so the younger wouldn't perceive the act as a withdrawal of support.
He lightly wrapped his arm around the younger's waist, gently signaling with a tug for him to lay his head on his lap, and Jungkook did so hastily.
The older's fingers now devoted themselves to stroking his hair, while with his other hand, he gave gentle caresses on his back, feeling a smile forming on his face as the younger's breathing started to regulate.
"Hyung," Jungkook murmured, sounding like a question. As he felt immersed in the older's touch, he also began to become aware of his surroundings.
Sunlight filtered through the window, casting flickers of the sunset into the room, the bed was almost undone beneath their bodies, and he didn't even know when Taehyung had turned off the TV.
"Hm?"
"Thank you," he felt his voice break. His arms still encircled the pillow, but he had allowed himself to uncover his face.
"There's nothing to thank for; I do it with all the love in the world," replied Taehyung, still running his fingers through his hair, ensuring to massage his scalp.
Jungkook bit his lower lip, torn between expressing his thoughts or staying silent.
His mind kept telling him things he didn't want to hear, but his boyfriend's caresses made him not pay complete attention to his head.
"What ideas are going through my love's head?" he asked, not really expecting an answer.
He rubbed his eyes, wanting to wipe away the new tears flooding his face, after all he just wanted to get it out of his system.
"I don't deserve even a bit of your love, Tae," he mentioned, clinging even more to the pillow between his arms, somehow protecting himself from the reaction the older would have. "You're too good for me."
The younger couldn't see how the older's eyes were also filled with tears, his heart ached seeing how his little angel could believe something like that.
"Jungkook, you deserve all the good in the universe," he began after regulating his own breathing. "You're the kindest and sweetest person I've ever met; you deserve to feel happy, safe, and loved."
The older's mind navigated the last few days and even months of their relationship, trying to figure out when he might have said or done something to trigger that thought in his little one.
They weren't the perfect fairy tale couple; they'd had some arguments or misunderstandings, but everything had been resolved after talking about it.
"I'm-not a good person," Jungkook replied, bringing his fingers to his mouth. He had stopped the habit of biting his nails a few months ago, so he settled for biting his thumb. "I just pretend to be."
Taehyung continued massaging his back, unsure of what his next words should be. He knew that was a topic of insecurity for his boyfriend, and simply denying those beliefs wouldn't make those thoughts go away.
"Everyone keeps telling me I'm good at what I do, that I have a lot of potential to give, but nothing is ever enough," he whimpered. "I made a mistake at work, hyung; my boss yelled at me, and I felt so small and helpless."
The younger hiccuped in the middle of his explanation, while anger invaded Taehyung's body, Jungkook's boss was always rude, but yelling at him for a mistake was crossing the line.
"I never do things right, and even when I achieve something, people keep saying it must have been easy for me because I'm good at everything," he mentioned with his eyes closed, hiding his face in the fabric of the older's pants. "I'm not good at anything."
"You don't have to be good at everything; life is about trying and failing."
Jungkook nodded.
"On my way home, I received a message from mom; I tried to ignore it, but she said she wanted to see me," the younger continued. "I-told her not to bother because I moved out and now live with you."
"You don't have to give her explanations, love."
Jungkook nodded. "She said-ugly things, that she would even force her way into my previous apartment, she had to know I'm not there anymore not to bother anyone."
Taehyung sighed, definitely, his boyfriend had had a heavy day. He stretched his hand to grab the water bottle he had brought from the kitchen the moment he left Jungkook alone, and placed it in front of him.
Jungkook looked at the bottle inches away from his face; he wasn't a big fan of drinking water, but he knew he would likely end up dehydrated and with a headache if he rejected the offer.
Biting his lower lip, he sat up, moving slowly in front of Taehyung, who continued to stroke his back as he opened the bottle and drank more than half of it immediately.
He felt the remnants of tears cooling his face, and he could do nothing but lower his head to play with the bottle between his fingers to avoid facing Taehyung.
The older adjusted his position, placing the younger's body between his legs as he gently laid him on his chest, never letting go of the caresses on his back.
"Doesn't it tire you to have a boyfriend like this?" he whispered.
"Not at all," Taehyung replied, caressing the younger's cheek. "Everyone deserves to have a bad day, and I'm glad I could accompany you while you process all those emotions."
Jungkook closed his eyes, enjoying the contact. "I was so scared."
Taehyung nodded, instantly remembering that the younger couldn't see him, so he made a slight sound to let him know he was listening.
"I-I was watching a tv show, and I felt identified with one of the characters," he confessed, somewhat embarrassed. "I started to think so many things about today or my life in general, and before I knew it, I was crying."
He sniffed, finding peace in Taehyung's arms as he embraced him, leaving little kisses on his hair.
"Many things filled your little heart and you exploded, love, it's okay," Taehyung whispered, smiling as he felt the other's arms wrap around his waist. "How do you feel now?"
"My chest hurts, like someone's squeezing it, but I feel better," he mentioned with a pout, daring to connect his gaze with his boyfriend's.
His eyes were red and swollen from crying so much, his cheeks were pink and bore traces of dried tears. Taehyung gave him a gentle smile, planting a kiss on his lips.
"A very wise person once said that eating something delicious was always a good remedy to heal the heart."
Jungkook smiled at that; he always told the older to buy him something nice for dinner under the pretext that it made his heart happy.
With his thumb, Taehyung wiped away the remnants of tears on his face, taking the opportunity to shower the other's face with dozens of kisses, replacing each of his previous sobs with a little giggle.
"Hyung, we're supposed to eat something delicious, not you eating me," he mentioned, with a smile hiding his face in the older's chest, who without waiting any longer, hugged him tightly, leaving a kiss on his forehead.
"I'm glad to have you in my life, Jungkook," he mentioned, feeling his eyes fill with tears again. "I'm glad it's you who I share each of my days with and who makes me so happy."
He gulped to avoid crying, blinking several times in a very short period of time to make the tears go away.
"You're much more valuable than you think, and I really want to help you feel good about yourself; I want you to see yourself the way I see you. I want you to see yourself as the fun and sensitive Jungkook, who isn't afraid to make mistakes, the one who always cares about those around him and deserves all the love the universe has to offer."
At the end of his little speech, a couple of tears ran down his cheeks, so he immediately wiped them away with the back of his hand.
"Thank you, hyung," he mentioned, now wrapping his arms around the other's neck, his own eyes once again filled with tears, but unlike the ones he had all afternoon, these were full of love and happiness. "I'm glad it's you who came into my life to make it better”
It was the younger who initiated the kiss, a soft one but one that showed how much they both needed each other. The older's hands gripped Jungkook's waist, while the younger wrapped his arms around his neck, both seeking closeness, wanting to merge together.
When air was necessary, Taehyung distanced himself a few millimeters, taking the opportunity to leave light pecks on his lips.
Jungkook's melodious laughter resonated through the room, always shy when his boyfriend showered him with affection. "Hyung, stop it," he said playfully.
"Okay, I'll stop now," Taehyung mentioned, pretending to be annoyed. "Do you want to go out or order delivery?"
"Delivery, please," Jungkook mentioned with a slight pout.
Taehyung nodded, intertwining his hand with the other's as he took out his phone, immediately opening the delivery app.
Jungkook rested his head on the older's shoulder, wanting to live with as much peace as he felt in Taehyung's company.
"Can we order fried chicken?" he asked, smiling when Taehyung pointed to the screen of his phone, precisely open at their favorite restaurant.
"Oh my god, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," Jungkook said with amusement, leaving a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek.
Taehyung smiled, feeling his cheeks warm as he glanced for a few seconds at his work bag, where the engagement ring rested with which he planned to propose in a few more days.