Chapter Text
Colter was still trying to make sense of things. Different faces moved in front of his face, talking in calm, reasonable tones. He tried to concentrate on what they were saying but ended up just working on schooling his face into an expression that didn’t look totally confused and lost. He sensed Reenie’s presence at the side of the bed, quiet but alert. Standing guard. He was happy to delegate responsibility for his wellbeing to her for now, she seemed to be managing pretty well so far. He knew he should feel guilty for letting her take care of things, take care of him, but he was SO tired. He felt something warm in his right hand, it took a monumental amount of effort but he moved his eyes to look at that side of the bed. Reenie was holding his hand, he realised, or he was holding hers, and had been ever since he woke up, since before he woke up probably. He hadn’t noticed because it had been such a permanent presence. He stared blankly at their hands, and then smiled softly. Reenie wasn’t looking at him, she was speaking to the doctor. He flexed his fingers, mainly to see if he could, gently squeezing her hand, she startled slightly, looking down and seeming to notice the contact, as if she’d forgotten too. The doctor left. She looked at him. The moment hung between them, Reenie seemed to be choosing her words whilst Colter’s had escaped him completely.
“The doctors say you’ll be fine” Reenie began in a tight voice “IF you rest properly. You have to listen to them, Colter, none of your snake-oil bullshit and running about the woods, you need to rest and heal and be monitored”. She was angry, he realised. He wasn’t prepared for that. He’d only just woken up but she’d been stewing on this for however long he’d been in here. Colter looked up at her fierce expression. Lesser men had crumbled, receiving looks half as powerful from Reenie, usually Colter would have given her anything. Well, almost anything. She was asking for his freedom. He’d faced her anger before, he’d endured her disappointment and scolding. He wouldn’t be reckless, but he wouldn’t be locked up either. He drew a breath to respond but was stalled by a tight squeeze of his hand and her sharp intake of breath. Reenie wasn’t looking at him. She seemed to be looking at the ceiling. “Please” she almost whispered and he’d never heard her sound so tired. “Colter, you were so sick. You were hurt and you didn’t tell me. I tried. I tried to help you but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t do enough. I should have forced you to come here that night. I… I…” her words seemed to run out. She sniffed, still looking at the ceiling. Colter finally found his voice, scratchy and sore but there where he needed it, “Reenie, I’m fine. I’m here. Bit banged up but OK. Look at me Reenie, I’m healthy as a horse” he said trying to lighten the mood. She did look at him. Her eyes were brimming with tears barely held in check, and the expression on her face was raw and wretched. It stunned him. “You nearly died.” she hissed “I had to hear you not be able to breathe, had to watch as that goddamn machine was the only thing that told me you were alive, had to see them try all those drugs to get your fever down. It’s been two days Colter! And there was nothing I could do. Just sit here and wait to see if you were ever going to wake up. Do you know how much I hate hospitals?! I thought… I thought I lost you, and I couldn’t…I couldn’t…” During her tirade her voice had become louder and quicker and more urgent. The tears that had been threatening to fall spilled down her cheeks unnoticed. He’d never seen her lose control like this, she’d never let him see her hurt. Colter never got to hear what Reenie couldn’t do, as she shook her head and strode from the room. He felt confused and guilty… and touched. He hadn’t mattered to someone like that in a long time. He flexed his right hand, it felt empty.
Colter tried not to watch the door that afternoon. Tried not to be disappointed when a nurse or doctor entered. He felt so powerless, unable to go find her, to say SOMETHING to her, to thank her, to comfort her, to disagree with her, to apologise, or maybe just to hold her hand again. But she didn’t come. She didn’t respond to his messages or pick up when he called. She’d just removed herself, it seemed. But traces of her remained. Colter could see evidence of her presence the last couple of days, in the hair tie dropped on the floor, the trashcan overflowing with coffee cups and the chair that had been dragged to his bedside.
He also saw it in the behaviour of the staff, he only noticed it the second time it happened, a nurse came in, looked around warily, saw the empty chair, looked surprised and then seemed to relax somewhat. “Everything OK?” asked Colter. The young nurse smiled sheepishly “No problem. I see your friend finally took a break”, Colter knew there was more to it, there was an edge to the way she said “finally”. “Has she been causing a ruckus?” he asked with a smile, “No, no, not at all” she rushed to say, “She was just very… thorough. Really wanted to make sure we did everything properly. Which is totally fine, obviously, we always do. She just liked to check. A lot.” She bustled about doing her work (very professionally, Colter thought) and he absorbed this new information. “Was she here the whole time?” he asked, she shrugged, “Pretty much, I think she went and got some clothes at some point, but she was here for all the shift changes. I don’t think the doctors appreciated her checking their work” she said with a conspiratorial smile. Colter could imagine. The nurse bustled off and Colter wondered when the next shift change would be and if Reenie would come back for it. She didn’t. And she wasn’t back when they brought him a tray of sad jello and grey-looking soup either. He’d been napping throughout the afternoon but couldn’t keep his eyes open long after food and his evening medication. She wasn’t coming back.
The next morning Colter felt significantly better. The pounding in his head was a very manageable hum, the painkillers had nullified his knee’s complaint and he could nearly take a half-lungful of air. Plus the machines said his temperature was pretty much normal, not quite, but almost. He’d spent more than enough time laying about in bed, and needed to be back in his own space. He gingerly sat up in bed and began to formulate his next steps to gaining clothes and freedom. Reenie’s chair wasn’t empty. Reenie wasn’t in it but something was. He very, very slowly leaned over (OK, so maybe his ribs weren’t completely fine) and grabbed the items from the chair. First was a paper bag filled with fruit and granola bars, Colter’s mouth began to water at the thought of the crisp apples and sweet blueberries. Much better than anaemic jello and thin soup. He looked at the other item. It turned out to be an Ipad with a note stuck to it. He read.
“Don’t even think about it. I know you want to get out but you need to be here, it’s important. You don’t know better than the doctors - or me. They seem OK here, but let them know I'll be checking in. Here’s something to keep you occupied, very important information that I don’t know how you survived without all these years. I’m expecting a report. Reenie.”
After her name was a list of streaming apps and corresponding passwords. Colter blinked at the note. Somehow she’d managed to convey, and simultaneously ignore, so much in one short note. He tried to get his tired brain to sort through it. She was still mad, or upset at least, otherwise she wouldn’t be avoiding him in waking hours. She was still monitoring his condition and care and still wanted the medical staff to be afraid of her. She was back in control.
He sighed and turned on the Ipad, searching for what she wanted him to watch, some documentary about brain injuries maybe, or something about male pride and its consequences. She’d made him a profile on her Netflix it seemed (and on all the streamers), he opened the icon with his name, and smiled. Friday the 13th, Halloween and other slashers from the late 80s and early 90s. But more than just horror, there was The Goonies, Indiana Jones, Rocky, The Princess Bride, Star Wars, Jaws, Lord of the Rings. He recognised most of the titles and had actually seen a couple but he felt warmed by what she was trying to do for him, trying to fill in his cultural blanks, trying to give him the films he should have watched throughout a whole childhood of sick-days. Scrolling to the end of the list he saw a film that looked to be newer than most of the rest, and rolled his eyes, “The Importance of Being Earnest”. Great. She’d never let him live that down.
So he did it. Stayed where he was told and submitted to being poked and prodded and monitored (OK so maybe hadn’t been such a bad idea when he had a tiny relapse on the second day). Velma, Tedi and Bobby all spoke with him as much as he wanted on the phone, he still wasn’t a massive fan of long chit-chats, but it was nice to hear friendly voices and let them know he was fine. He’d really worried people, it turned out, somehow he now had people who worried for him. But he didn’t see Reenie. She didn’t respond when he sent his opinions on the films she’d selected (although once he saw a typing bubble that quickly disappeared). He did see a young doctor looking angry and flustered when he woke the next morning muttering to a colleague about “Handwriting can’t be “negligently illegible to a criminal degree", that's not a real thing. Bet she’s not even a proper lawyer.”
“She is” Colter stated loudly, making them jump as they’d not realised he was awake. “And a damn good one”. No one would be bad-mouthing Reenie near him. The doctor looked even more flustered and hurried off.
That afternoon he was standing in Clay Porter’s hospital room, accepting the family’s thanks and their money. It was wonderful to see the family together, happy and whole, and knowing that he did that. Even if he couldn’t heal his own broken family he could help another one.
His visible bruises had faded to being less noticeable and the clothes that Reenie had left on the chair hid his knee brace and other bandages. They didn’t need to know he’d been a patient here himself until an hour earlier. He tried not to wince when Deborah Porter gave him a heart-felt hug of thanks.
He was finally free. Uber up to the trailer. Jumpstart for the truck. Packing up and moving on. Reenie had never responded. She was probably long gone by now. He tidied up the trailer, packing away everything that had been disarranged in the chaotic night following his injuries. It felt like a lifetime ago.
He was zipping up his duffel when he turned and there she was. Polished and perfect. Looking impervious and unruffled. Fully armoured and ready for battle. Looking a thousand miles from tired forest fairy who’d slept on his window sill or the angry guardian who’d tearfully raged at him. There was so much to say. So many things he’d wanted to say to her, so many things to ask her and to tell her. But seeing her here, every useful thought just exited his brain. He’d wait to see how she wanted to play this.
She smirked, “Oh, I see how it is, just skipping town without saying goodbye. Typical.”
OK, so that’s what she wanted. To reset back to safe ground. Not to explore the new territory they’d found themselves in. He could play along. Keep it professional. Keep it safe.
He cast around for a neutral topic.
“What’s going to happen to Malory?” he asked.
“New name, new location, new life. She’s going to get a fresh start. And she’ll be safe” she replied.
“Good” he said, and meant it. But then there was nothing more to say about that subject. Yet there was everything more to say. So many things unsaid. The silence stretched awkwardly, but neither seemed to want to end the interaction. She was looking at him, expecting something. Trying to get a read on him. Say something, Colter, say anything.
“Well…hmmm.. I’m really glad they didn’t kill you” he heard himself say. Don’t say that.
Her eyebrows rose, and she smiled.
They were back, back to familiar rhythms and dynamics. No one was losing anyone. Nothing had to change. It was a blessed relief and bitter disappointment.
“Wow. OK. Thankyou. That’s so sweet of you.” she said sarcastically, “I’m glad they didn’t kill you either” - she said it with a light tone but the weight of the words settled heavily between them.
Colter was at a loss. This was excruciating but he didn’t want it to end either. He could usually handle himself better than this, better than a blushing kid on his first date. Reenie seemed to be infuriatingly enjoying this awkwardness. He had to do something.
“Until next time” he said, and put his hand out for her to shake it. Don’t do that. He inwardly cringed at his awkwardness. His hand was still held out between them, waiting for her to shake it. Like he was her bank manager. Not like two people who’d saved each other’s lives and seen each other at their most vulnerable, and shared an intense trauma and triumph that bonded them. Not like someone who knew what her hair smelled like, had held her when she’d been afraid and been rescued by her again and again.
She looked at his outstretched hand for another beat. Amused, fond and maybe a little disappointed. She shook it with a flourish. “Until next time” she agreed.