Chapter Text
Caroline lazily flipped through yet another one of Bonnie’s grimoires that Jeremy had been kind enough to get for her since she couldn’t cross the border into Mystic Falls to get them herself. She was seated on the floor in her increasingly empty dorm room, piles of ancient grimoires surrounded her from all angles.
Some of the grimoires were flipped open to show promising pages that were marked with little notes from Caroline, some of the other grimoires however were thrown across the room in frustration for producing nothing more than nonsense, things that made so little sense that Caroline genuinely wondered if the witches who wrote them actually knew what they were doing.
Her eyes were stinging more and more with every word she read, getting watery every few minutes, she had been reading for a good ten hours straight, running over the same words over and over again, hoping to see something she missed the first twenty times she read them.
Despite all the time Caroline was pouring into reading Bonnie’s grimoires, she was no closer to finding a solution on how to bring Bonnie and Damon back then what she was before she started reading, all that she’s been able to accomplish was more frustration and less hope. A part of Caroline was telling her that it was useless, she wasn’t going to find anything, no matter how many books she read through, she wasn’t going to get Damon and Bonnie back from wherever they were so she might as well just give up before she wasted anymore time dwelling on things that couldn’t be undone or changed. That same part of herself argued that Bonnie and Damon could possibly be dead, that they were gone from this world and the next world, that they were not trapped somewhere waiting for a rescue like Caroline desperately hoped they were.
A much larger part of Caroline told her not to give up though, it constantly reminded her that she was loyal to her friends, a loyalty that she held close to her heart, one she couldn’t and wouldn’t turn her back on, that part of herself said she couldn’t give up because if she did then who was going to save them?
The answer was no one, no one was going to save them because no one but herself believed Bonnie and Damon were still alive somewhere beyond the other side, she was the only one who had hope that they weren’t lost forever, that they could be brought back to them. It was that much larger part of Caroline that kept her up all hours of the night reading through witchy books trying to find anything that could point her in the direction she needed to go, it was that part of herself that refused to let her give up.
Caroline knew she couldn’t abandon her hope or her efforts to finding a way to get Bonnie and Damon back but as she looked around the empty dorm room and felt the bone deep emptiness that came with it she admitted to herself that it would help to have company here with her. The ancient books only provided Caroline with so much company, which was unusual in itself but often the grimoires felt like old souls coming alive again, happy to be getting attention and being read through, yet they were still dusty old books that left Caroline starving for company.
Actual, real person company was what she craved, Caroline had never felt so alone in her life before, the closest she could think of was the months before she got turned into a vampire, how she felt like everyone only tolerated her insufferable presence or only wanted her around for entertainment. She had felt alone then to, felt like she was fighting against her own presence, though that still didn’t compare to the loneliness she felt now.
Caroline hadn’t seen Elena in days, her friend only coming back to their dorm room every few days while Caroline slept and leaving before she could wake up to have an actual conversation with her, Elena practically avoided her like she was the plague, a disease that could infect her with a single glance, word, or touch.
The first and only time Caroline confronted Elena about her avoidance was such a frustrating and hurtful experience that Caroline never wanted to have a repeat of it, Elena had complained that she wanted to move on from Damon’s and Bonnie’s deaths and she didn’t want to be caught up in Caroline’s disastrous web of desperation trying to bring back something that she should just accept was gone forever.
At that time she had tried understanding where Elena was coming from, she really did, but the hard truth was that she couldn’t understand it, no matter how much she tried to.
Bonnie was their childhood best friend, she had sacrificed so much for each and every one of them, she deserved nothing less than a friend fighting in her corner as well, a friend that didn’t just give up on her at the first sign of trouble or the first sign of hardship, Caroline was determined to be that friend.
For as much as Bonnie did for Elena especially, Caroline thought she out of anyone should be here going through the grimoires for a chance at getting their friend back, it was the least Elena owed to Bonnie.
With their best friend was also Damon, a man Elena claimed to love, yet she was willing, without a second thought, to give up on him as well, to not fight for him the way he had fought for her, it was selfish of Elena if you asked Caroline. She had never been on the best terms with Damon, their friendship being a tentative one at best, yet she of all people, who had more reason than anyone to resent and hate Damon with a passion and wish the worst kinds of hell and torture upon him, was trying to save him, but the supposed love of his life was content to move on with her life without a single glance back, it was bullshit.
It wasn’t only Elena’s absence that Caroline was angry with either, that same anger extended to Stefan as well.
Bonnie had helped Stefan any time he had come asking for it whether it had been for himself or not, Bonnie still put that effort in and did more for all of them then what was necessary, Stefan owed her the respect to be here looking for a way to help Bonnie. If not for Bonnie though then for Damon, his brother, his family. But no, like Elena Stefan was choosing to believe that they were both dead.
Unlike Elena though, Stefan took off somewhere and had yet to return, had Caroline had to guess she would say he was probably off pretending to be a human, playing one big game of play pretend, not caring that he left Caroline with a closed off Mystic Falls and a best friend that was quickly becoming more like a stranger than anything else.
The ringing of her phone brought Caroline out of her thoughts, they had wandered into dangerous territory, she didn’t allow herself to think too much on Elena’s and Stefan’s lack of involvement because every time she did, she grew angrier and more resentful towards her friends. She was scared that if she lingered on those thoughts for too long that she would eventually come to hate Elena and her selfish choices, and Stefan with his pessimistic outlook on everything. Which wasn’t something Caroline wanted, they were two of her best friends, people she loved with all of her heart, people that she would do anything for, Caroline did not ever want to look at them and think of them as anything other than her best friends.
Getting up from the floor Caroline took a second to stretch out her sore muscles from sitting too long on the hard floor, popping a couple of her bones as her phone continued ringing in the background, it was only after stretching that she made her way to her purse that sat on the nightstand next to her bed, reaching inside she pulled out the still ringing phone. The screen showed an out of state unknown number, Caroline hesitated for only a second before she pressed the green accept button on the screen, sending a silent prayer to whoever was listening to her that she didn’t come to regret answering her phone to a number she didn’t recognize.
“Hello.” She calmly said into the phone as she walked back to the grimoires and plopped herself back down to the floor, sitting with her long legs out in front of her, instead of in a crisscross apple sauce position like she was in before, it was quiet on the other end of the phone, the only thing coming through was the soft breathing of the girl who called her.
Just as Caroline was going to chalk up the call to a creepy prank call and hang up the phone the girl on the other end spoke.
“Caroline?” The girl questioned, Caroline didn’t spend a whole lot of time in Hayley’s company when she came back with Tyler from the Appalachian Mountains, Hayley was too busy scheming as they all later learned, and Caroline was too busy trying to keep her feelings for a certain original hybrid locked down tight inside of herself. Despite not spending a lot of time with Hayley when she was in Mystic Falls Caroline still recognized her somewhat raspy voice.
“Hayley.” She stated back to acknowledge she knew who she was talking to, Hayley was the last person Caroline expected to call her, the last she had heard of the she-wolf her and Klaus were expecting some miracle Tribrid baby.
Tyler had taken great pleasure in announcing that bit of information to her face, he had been solely disappointed when Caroline had not reacted to the news the way he had wanted her to. She could tell he had wanted tears to fill her eyes, for sadness to overtake her and for her old insecurities to rear their ugly heads, instead she had coolly nodded and told him she knew already, she had walked away from him before he could say anything more after that.
Perhaps if circumstances were different, she would have reacted the way he had anticipated, she didn’t lie to him that day though, she did already know that shocking news before he told her, Klaus having told her it himself just a few weeks prior.
By the time Tyler got around to telling her she had already accepted it, the reactions Tyler expected had come and gone without a hitch, without anyone the wiser.
“I need your help,” Hayley jumped right into why she was calling Caroline without wasting time on small talk neither of them cared for or had the patience for, “Or more accurately Klaus needs your help.”
“What could Klaus possibly need help with?” Caroline asked with a snappier tone then she meant to express, Klaus was The Original Hybrid, as he loved reminding people, any trouble Klaus got into would be beyond her capabilities as a baby vampire to fix, on top of that she made Klaus promise to stay away, that came with the hint not to contact her at all, at least not until she was ready for him to, that included having other people contact her on his behalf.
“You know what Hayley, never mind, don’t answer that, whatever it is Klaus needs help with tell him I said he can handle it himself,” Caroline continued before Hayley could answer her, “and tell him it’s not right to send his baby mama to do the dirty work of contacting me.” She added.
Caroline couldn’t believe he told Hayley of all people to call her, far from what people may think she didn’t hate Hayley, she wanted to get her back for snapping her neck and leaving her in a dirty public bathroom for anyone to see but she didn’t hate the girl. Caroline had no reason to hate Hayley, she might have felt immense anger and jealousy towards her when she found out about the miracle pregnancy though after a couple of weeks of thinking it over, it seemed silly to hold those feelings in her heart when she knew Hayley or Klaus didn’t do anything wrong when they slept together, however that didn’t mean she wanted to be receiving calls from Hayley, chatting back and forth like they were kindergarten besties reunited.
“I would tell him that if I could, but I can’t which is why I’m calling you for help, believe me Caroline if you weren’t the only person who could help, I wouldn’t be calling.” Hayley said with an attitude Caroline remembered all too well, the snippy replies that Hayley loved giving out to people, purposely making them feel small in comparison to herself, it made the hairs on Caroline’s arms raise with prickly irritation, she bit her tongue to hold back the remark she wanted to snap back at Hayley.
It was quiet after that, uncomfortably quiet, both of them not wanting to be the first to speak, each hesitant for their own reasons.
“He told you about Hope?” Hayley finally asked in a quieter tone that held none of the attitude it did the minute before, breaking the silence between them, she didn’t sound upset that Klaus had told Caroline about her pregnancy, she didn’t sound surprised either, the question was more to get confirmation then it was to get an answer which was a little peculiar to Caroline.
“Is that what you guys named the baby? Hope?” Caroline asked her own question, Klaus had told her about Hayley being an expectant mother and himself being an expectant father, he told her that the baby was going to be a Tribrid. However, she didn’t know they were expecting a girl, she didn’t know what name they were going to give the newborn, who by now had to be a few months old if Caroline’s calculations were correct, she didn’t know anything beyond that Hayley was having a magical baby.
“Yeah, we named her Hope,” Caroline could hear the shakiness in Hayley’s voice, like she was holding back tears by simply telling her what name they gave the baby, Caroline thought it was a nice name, not one she exactly saw Klaus naming his daughter but a beautiful name all the same, one with a clear message about what she means to her parents and the Original family too, “She died after she was born.”
There was silence after Hayley said that Hope died after she was born, a silence that was heavier than it was uncomfortable, Caroline didn’t know how to react to that news, it was devastating, she could only imagine the pain Hayley and Klaus were going through after losing their baby.
“Hayley, I am so sorry.” She felt like it wasn’t enough to say that she was sorry, it was such a typical response, Hayley had probably heard it a million and one times by now, Caroline meant it though, she was sorry, no one deserved to lose their baby, no one deserved to have such an innocent soul be brought into the world, only to be taken out of it moments later, no one deserved to have to tell their baby goodbye.
She wondered especially how Klaus was dealing with the pain, because he was in pain no matter what he said to anyone, she was sure he was probably trying to act like Hope’s death didn’t affect him. Caroline knew he loved his baby though, he was looking forward to being a father, the thought of it terrified him, traumatized by memories of his own father, but Caroline knew he would have made the best father a little girl could ask for, the fact that that chance of unconditional love from someone you created, a little you that you helped bring into the world, was taken from him before he got the chance to experience all it had to offer made Caroline both sad and angry on Klaus’s behalf in equal measures.
“Thank you,” Hayley took a deep breath before going on without giving Caroline time to say anything more, she couldn’t exactly blame Hayley either, Caroline imagined that she didn’t want to linger on such a sore topic, “Klaus really does need your help Caroline, this isn’t a trick or a new move on Klaus’s end to get you to agree to be with him, he’s in trouble. He’s been stuck in a coma for 3 weeks now, his mom, who is back by the way, gave him some potion thing that makes him dream about being human, we can’t wake him up and we’ve tried everything. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here to say he’s dreaming of you in some capacity, so we need you to come here to pull him out of the dreamscape before the effects get to him and he falls right into his mom’s ploy.”
“Klaus doesn’t want to be human.” That was the immediate response she gave, Klaus had only ever thought of being human once, she doubted a hummingbird, no matter how sweet the sentiment of the meaning behind said hummingbird, was keeping him trapped in a dream world. She straight away ignored the part where Hayley thought Klaus was dreaming of her, she couldn’t afford for her buried feelings for Klaus to come springing forth, throwing her off balance in her carefully crafted life, pushing her to help him, pushing her to get up and go to him.
“That’s what we thought to,” Hayley replied “but that potion can’t make someone dream about being human unless the person it effects already had desires to be human to begin with. Elijah said the potion can’t pull the dreams from nothing; all it does is amplify what’s already there.”
“And what’s the point of it all? Why make Klaus want to be human?” Caroline should have already hung up the phone, she couldn’t help them, she had her own problems to deal with, she couldn’t just drop them, pack her things, and go “rescue” Klaus from a couple of dreams that from the sounds of it might do him some good, they might give him back pieces of his humanity that were thought to be long gone.
Instead, she found herself asking more questions, too curious to hang up the phone, at least that was what she told herself, she ignored the concern that was bubbling up.
“It’s another way Esther is trying to fix them, instead of killing them she wants to strip them of their vampirism, the fine print in the spell though is that each person has to want to be human, they have to agree to being turned human, if they don’t then the spell won’t work,” Hayley was growing impatient as she talked, Caroline could hear it in her voice as it rose slightly in volume, “I don’t think I have to point out the unknown effects it could have on all the vampires from their lines if they’re turned human.” She pointed out despite saying she didn’t have to in order to drive home the explanation, in order to get Caroline to agree to come to New Orleans.
An agreement to go to New Orleans was on the tip of Caroline’s tongue, the word “yes” was just bursting to escape, she clenched her teeth together preventing it from coming through, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to help them, help Klaus, she did.
Not only did she feel like she owed Klaus a rescue in return for all the rescuing he did for her, but also because she didn’t know what the effects of turning Klaus human would have on her and her friends, so if nothing else it was best for all of them involved that she try to take him out the dreamscape before he came to the decision that he wanted to be human. Not only that but Klaus was happy as a vampire/werewolf hybrid, just as she was happy as a vampire, they were meant to be what they are, no one had the right to manipulate his feelings about what he was and what he wants to be, least of all his shady mother.
So, no the issue didn’t lie with lack of want to help Klaus, it lied with her near need to help him, it lied with her feelings for him. Already they were making themselves known and she was just speaking to Hayley on the phone, if she went to New Orleans those feelings wouldn’t be able to stay hidden, they wouldn’t be pushed down again and that scared Caroline.
If she went to New Orleans to help Klaus, would she have the strength to leave?