Chapter Text
The sun had fully set by the time the Crystal Ice Leopard was calm enough to remove itself from Shen Yuan’s lap. Once it had, Luo Binghe immediately moved forward. He gathered Shen Yuan in his arms and pulled out Xin Mo again.
“Let’s go,” he said. “I’ll bring you home.”
Shen Yuan didn’t move with him.
Instead, Shen Yuan looked down at the leopard and settled a hand on its head, letting the animal lean on him. He turned back to Luo Binghe.
“Could we wait?”
Luo Binghe frowned at him.
“I mean, just… it’s been such a long day,” Shen Yuan mumbled. “And it’s so late. And… the last thing I want right now is to deal with my family. So, could we just… stay here for the night?”
His voice trailed off at the question.
After everything, it felt wrong to ask Luo Binghe to stay by his side even longer.
But Luo Binghe simply nodded and sheathed Xin Mo.
“Fine.”
= = = = =
Unlike Shen Yuan, Luo Binghe was prepared for anything.
He had pulled a tent out of one of his many qiankun pouches, along with cooking supplies, food, and the necessary items to start a fire. He had also outfitted himself in a new warm cloak and looked perfectly at ease with their situation.
Much more at ease than Shen Yuan.
He ignored the thought of what his night would look like if Luo Binghe hadn’t come for him; curled up in his old, worn cloak, huddling underneath a pine tree, and eating a stale meat bun.
Instead, Shen Yuan hovered around Luo Binghe awkwardly, wanting to help, but having absolutely nothing to do.
The Crystal Ice Leopard had wandered off while Shen Yuan watched Luo Binghe start a fire. Shen Yuan assumed it was returning to its hibernation to continue its cultivation, and he already missed the cuddly presence.
On the fire, skewers of meat slowly cooked, balanced on a makeshift grate above the flames. Luo Binghe occasionally turned them, though his attention was focused on making small discs out of dough.
Of which, Shen Yuan had only looked away for a moment, then turned back to find Luo Binghe with a fresh batch of laobing dough. He had no idea how his husband had managed it.
When the patties were formed, Luo Binghe set them directly onto the blackened, burnt bits of wood along the edges of the fire.
Shen Yuan leaned in closer to watch.
Then was gently pushed back by an arm across his chest.
“Careful, Husband Shen,” Luo Binghe cautioned.
Shen Yuan huffed, “I know how to cook.”
“This lord doesn’t doubt that,” Luo Binghe replied easily, though he didn’t let Shen Yuan move closer.
Shen Yuan scowled at his overbearing attitude.
“Why are you calling me Husband Shen now?” he grumbled. “You called me Shen Yuan earlier.”
Luo Binghe looked up at that. He tilted his head and gave a cocky smile that shot directly to Shen Yuan’s heart.
“Why does Husband Shen call this one Binghe?”
Shen Yuan flushed.
“This lord will call for Shen Yuan only if Husband Shen will call for Binghe.”
The wood crackled in the beat of silence between them. Shen Yuan could feel his heartbeat throughout his whole body.
“That… I… yes,” Shen Yuan agreed. His cheeks were hot, and he knew he couldn’t blame it on the heat. “I would like that… Binghe.”
Luo Binghe’s smile at the endearment was blinding. His sharp canines poked out, and his whole aura turned boyish.
“As would I, Shen Yuan,” Luo Binghe replied.
Shen Yuan had to look away or else he would combust. He turned back to the fire and watched the small laobing darken.
Luo Binghe let him do so, turning back to the cooking. He flipped the flatbreads, using his bare fingers to dig in the coals, and dusted a selection of spices along the meat.
This meal could hardly compare to the feasts Luo Binghe was capable of creating, but Shen Yuan had heard about Luo Binghe’s cooking from every wife. And it was talked about in all the novels. He was beyond excited to finally try it for himself!
Their wedding night had been simple, and Luo Binghe was called away on business shortly after they completed their bows. Perhaps if Shen Yuan had been a beautiful maiden, Luo Binghe would have returned another night to finish out the ritual. But with Shen Yuan, he hadn’t bothered.
The old pain of those memories had dimmed long ago. Shen Yuan felt no need to blame Luo Binghe for knowing what he wanted. Or to blame anyone for that matter.
Shen Yuan had given himself to Luo Binghe as a groom in the pursuit of freedom. He hadn’t truly known – or cared about – what it meant to know Luo Binghe beyond being a figure in stories. And now that he did, now that he knew what Luo Binghe’s arms felt like, the shape his smile took, the worry he hid behind anger, Shen Yuan didn’t know how to separate himself from it.
He watched Luo Binghe turn the skewers once more.
Shen Yuan wanted Luo Binghe’s attention forever.
With Luo Binghe, it was easy to feel alive.
Shen Yuan traced the angles of Luo Binghe’s face, the soft drop of curls that were pulled out of his hair-tie, the sharp point of his ears that showed his demonic heritage, the roundness of his eyes that were so full of emotion.
Shen Yuan wanted to kiss him.
Shen Yuan squeaked at the thought, clapping his hands over his mouth.
Luo Binghe glanced over at him, question and concern written across his face.
Shen Yuan ripped the hands from his mouth and waved them in front of his face.
“I’m fine, I’m fine!” he rushed to speak. “Binghe need not worry!”
The question in Luo Binghe’s eyes did not ebb, but he nodded, accepting Shen Yuan words. He held out one of the meat skewers to Shen Yuan.
“Are you hungry?”
Shen Yuan dropped his hands, shoulder slumping slightly. Then gently took the skewer from Luo Binghe, careful not to touch his fingers.
“Thank you.”
“Mm,” Luo Binghe hummed acknowledgement, taking one for himself.
Shen Yuan focused on the meat to still his thoughts.
Did he really mean that?
Sneaking a quick glance at Luo Binghe’s face, Shen Yuan wondered how his lips felt, if they would be soft, how they’d bend under the shape of Shen Yuan’s thumb, how they’d fit against his own.
Oh.
Shen Yuan bit down on the inside of his cheek.
He did. He wanted to kiss Luo Binghe. But… not only that.
Luo Binghe made Shen Yuan’s heart race. A single glance gave him life for a week. The sound of his name on Luo Binghe’s lips was almost overwhelming. The care and attention Luo Binghe gave Shen Yuan made him feel safer and more desired than he ever had before in his life.
Shen Yuan loved Luo Binghe.
And Luo Binghe would never love him.
Shen Yuan sighed, unable to stifle it. Then he felt Luo Binghe’s eyes fall on him, so he quickly stuffed the meat in his mouth, desperate to avoid Luo Binghe’s concern.
Then he sighed again, but for an entirely different reason.
There was a crispy, flavorful edge which gave way to a juicy, tender center. The perfect, delicious chunk of meat filled Shen Yuan with warmth.
He moaned, going in for another bite.
The other wives were right. This was the best thing Shen Yuan had ever had in his mouth. Luo Binghe’s meat was divine!
He went for yet another bite and savored every moment of pleasure. He looked up, ready to praise Luo Binghe for his skills, only to meet Luo Binghe’s wide eyes already on him.
Luo Binghe held his own skewer stiffly in one hand, his grip so tight his knuckles were white.
Shen Yuan took a moment to chew, lessening the bulge in his cheeks and swallowed. Luo Binghe’s eyes dipped to Shen Yuan’s neck at the motion, and Shen Yuan had to fight back another rush of embarrassment.
It wasn’t his fault he looked like a chipmunk while he ate! Luo Binghe’s cooking was just too good.
With his mouth finally free, Shen Yuan spoke, “This is amazing, Binghe! I’ve never tasted anything so delicious!”
Luo Binghe nodded and cleared his throat. “That… I’m glad.”
Shen Yuan smiled.
“Is the bread done yet?” he asked, finishing off the last bite from his skewer.
Luo Binghe nodded again, slowly, though his eyes never left Shen Yuan.
“And more meat,” he replied.
“Oh, good.” Shen Yuan looked over the handful of skewers left on the fire and licked a trickle of juice off his fingers. “I definitely want more of Binghe meat!”
Luo Binghe gave a strange cut off whine, and Shen Yuan stopped mid lick to glance over.
Luo Binghe closed his eyes, as if in pain.
“Shen Yuan can have as much of my– the meat as he wants,” Luo Binghe answered.
“Okay,” Shen Yuan dragged the word out. “Is Binghe alright?”
“Fine,” Luo Binghe said quickly. “This lord is fine.”
“If you’re sure?”
“Yes.” Luo Binghe finally opened his eyes. He leaned over and picked a fresh laobing out of the coals. He held it lightly in his fingers for a moment, before handing it to Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan took it with a smile and eagerly bit in.
“Ah, ah.” Of course, the bread was still hot. Shen Yuan fanned his mouth and carefully chewed the piece he’d gotten off.
Luo Binghe gave a small huff of laughter.
Shen Yuan loved the sound.
They finished their meal slowly. Luo Binghe let Shen Yuan take as much as he wanted, watching as he ate.
The sun had fallen fully to the edge of the horizon, and the moon peeked over. Though darkness creeped in, the sky was alight with a fiery orange glow.
A chill set in around them, but the fire warmed Shen Yuan enough that it was no bother.
They sat in silence, both staring out over the edge of the mountain.
Luo Binghe raised a hand and teased the small braid out of his bushel of hair, pulling it over his shoulder.
Shen Yuan’s attention switched from the dusky sky to Luo Binghe.
His husband looked deep in thought, fingers running over the braid seemingly subconsciously.
“Why did you add a braid?” Shen Yuan asked, unable to hold his curiosity back.
The small braid had been one of the first things Shen Yuan had noticed after running into Luo Binghe randomly in the garden month ago. It was a simple thing that Luo Binghe had kept in his hair for months, though for decades prior, Luo Binghe was known to not keep ornamentation.
Yet, the braid had remained, and it seemed to hold Luo Binghe’s attention, so Shen Yuan wanted to know why.
Luo Binghe blinked.
“This lord didn’t choose it,” he answered.
Shen Yuan twisted to face him. “Then why?”
Luo Binghe’s unfocused again. His mind was clearly elsewhere. “Someone gave it to me.”
“Oh,” Shen Yuan immediately regretted his curiosity. “So, you’ve kept it because of the person who made it?”
Luo Binghe nodded.
Was this person why Luo Binghe had grown distant from the harem in recent months?
Shen Yuan bit back a wave of jealousy. What right did he even have to be jealous? Yes, he was Luo Binghe’s husband, but only one of many. If Emperor Luo had found someone remarkable enough that he was willing to look away from the rest of the harem, it was good. Luo Binghe deserved perfection.
“Who?” Shen Yuan asked.
“Someone I cannot reach again.” A flash of pain and anger ran across his face.
“Oh.” Shen Yuan watched the hurt and wanted to offer comfort. “They’re undoubtedly also reaching out for you. With Emperor Luo’s abilities, you’ll surely be together again.”
Luo Binghe snapped fully back to the present. “They do not want me.”
His words were harsh, leaving no room for argument. But Shen Yuan had plenty to argue.
“Who?” Shen Yuan snapped. “Who wouldn’t want Binghe?”
Luo Binghe stared back at Shen Yuan, expression still.
“He is in love with another.”
“Someone other than Binghe?” Shen Yuan argued, then scoffed. “There is no one better than Binghe.”
Luo Binghe’s eyes narrowed, as if he wanted to fight Shen Yuan’s claim. That was fine with Shen Yuan. This was an argument he was sure to win.
The two stared at each other in silence.
“I am,” the emperor said eventually, watching Shen Yuan. “A different version of me. A better person, softer perhaps. That version would be better than this one.”
Shen Yuan frowned. “A better version? How can you better perfection?”
Luo Binghe scowled as well. “Don’t belittle me.”
“I’m not!” Shen Yuan argued. “Whoever this person is, they don’t deserve you! Not if they make you doubt yourself so.”
“What do you even know of me?” Luo Binghe bit out.
“Plenty,” Shen Yuan replied, primly. “I’ve read everything ever published about you. I’ve begged stories of you from your wives. I’ve taught your children and watched them grow in your likeness. I’ve traveled with you myself!”
Luo Binghe was silent, his eyes dark.
Shen Yuan continued. “Binghe is strong and smart and righteous. He has suffered needlessly in this world, yet he has given his life to helping the world maintain order. He protects the weak and saves those in peril, in return asking only for what he deserves.”
“I have taken everything.” Luo Binghe bared his teeth. “I learned at a young age that requests are ignored.”
“Binghe deserves everything.”
“How can you say that?” Luo Binghe growled. “As if you truly believe me to be above the entire world.”
“Because I do!” Shen Yuan countered.
“Then how am I a good person?” Luo Binghe asked, voice strained.
Shen Yuan groaned. It felt like he was arguing with his Meimei when she was in a mood and just wanted to fight. There were no right answers, and everything would be countered.
“Is this lord too much for you, Husband Shen?” Luo Binghe asked bitterly.
Shen Yuan took a deep breath and watched Luo Binghe carefully.
“Why should it matter how you compare to other people? Who cares if you’re a paragon of morality?” Shen Yuan explained. “Why do you care what others think? Why do you care for the opinion of someone who so obviously doesn’t care to understand you?”
“Because it’s not just him!”
A part of Shen Yuan froze at the realization that Luo Binghe was pining after another man. But Luo Binghe continued to speak, and Shen Yuan left the thought behind to follow.
“It is everyone,” Luo Binghe hissed, a murderous aura building up around him. “My wives flinch at my touch, thinking me cruel, wanting for my power and wealth, but not for me. My advisors agree to everything I say, terrified that they will be killed for insubordination. And their fear is not unfounded. This world thinks me cruel and wishes for nothing more than my death.”
Shen Yuan’s heart hurt at the sight of Luo Binghe’s despair. And, as quickly as it had come, the choking layer of demonic qi dissipated, leaving behind a heartbroken man.
“This is why Binghe has distanced himself from his wives?” Shen Yuan asked quietly.
“I find no joy in surrounding myself with lies,” he answered. “I will not pretend to be something I am not. I will not demean myself for those lesser than I.”
“Binghe should never,” Shen Yuan agreed, voice quiet.
The silence around the fire was thick, but not strange.
“My Da-ge didn’t want to inherit the farm at all,” Shen Yuan confessed.
Luo Binghe watched him. His gaze almost as hot as the warmth of the fire.
“He hated the Scorpion-bees when we were kids. They scared him, and he hated being covered in honey,” he continued. “And that was fine, because I loved them, and everyone knew it. I was the only one of my siblings who helped my father with the hives for years. It was obvious that the farm was going to be mine one day. But then…” Shen Yuan shrugged. “But then I was sick, and I couldn’t do anything, and we all thought I would die. Da-ge had to start helping father, even though he hated it. Er-ge, too. They like it now, but it was never what they would have chosen for themselves if things had gone differently.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Luo Binghe questioned.
“Because I ruined their lives. Because I was dying, and they had to take my place, and they couldn’t even be mad about it,” Shen Yuan said. “Because I know very well what it means to be surrounded by people who love you and never being what they want.”
Luo Binghe was silent.
“It’s not the same, obviously,” Shen Yuan added. “But I know that pain. It’s why I left.”
Shen Yuan dug the toe of his boot into the dirt.
“It’s why I threw myself at you as repayment after you saved my life,” Shen Yuan said. “I told you that I left home in order to live. And that’s true. Though, it wasn’t just so I could have an adventure or prove myself or whatever. It was because I didn’t know how to exist, how to be, with my family anymore. And I was terrified they would continue to resent me.”
The words wrapped up quietly, and Shen Yuan waited for Luo Binghe’s reaction.
“That is not the same,” Luo Binghe finally said, and Shen Yuan felt a weight settle in his gut. Once again, he’d overstepped.
“You had no say in what happened to you, while I suffer from the consequences of my own decisions.” The words were short, brittle.
Shen Yuan huffed in response. His unease quickly wiped away and replaced with annoyance.
“Binghe has done nothing wrong,” Shen Yuan countered. “You say you refuse to lower yourself to the standards of those beneath you. So why do you compare yourself to those same standards.”
Luo Binghe didn’t respond.
“And why,” Shen Yuan argued, “do you care for the opinion of someone who clearly doesn’t care about you?”
“Because I felt a touch of that man’s care,” Luo Binghe answered easily, then stilled, seemingly started by his own confession.
Shen Yuan once again felt his heart freeze, though he forced himself to hide it.
“If you can’t be with this person, if they don’t want you, why hold on so tightly? Isn’t it better to move on?” The words were bitter, though Shen Yuan had tried to keep them neutral.
Luo Binghe glowered, looking off into the horizon again.
Shen Yuan huffed, turning his own frown off to the moon, too.
“I just… There are so many people in the world. I know you can find the love you desire with someone who is able to return the affection.” Shen Yuan sighed. “If none of your current spouses are able to love you the way you deserve, then find a new spouse! But… take your time and wait for the right person. Binghe will surely find someone to care for him as deeply as he wants.”
Shen Yuan applauded himself for offering support, though he desperately didn’t want to. But this wasn’t about him. Luo Binghe deserved better, and Shen Yuan wanted his husband to understand that without tainting everything with his own desires.
And suddenly, all of the half-hidden frowns and longer-than-necessary journeys home from Shen Yuan’s fellow spouses made sense.
The other wives didn’t like Luo Binghe.
Sure, more than a few might love him, and many more would happily spend the night with him, but so few ever actually sought Luo Binghe out to just be with him.
Even Guo Haoyu, Shen Yuan realized. After the first year of marriage, she’d stopped answering Shen Yuan’s questions about Luo Binghe and rolled her eyes whenever she saw him reading about the emperor.
And Shen Yuan had acted just like them only a day prior, seeing Luo Binghe only for what he could provide, rather than who he was.
Luo Binghe deserved better.
“I hope you get the happiness you deserve,” Shen Yuan wished, finally looking back over to Luo Binghe, who was already staring back.
Shen Yuan couldn’t read Luo Binghe’s expression, but his gaze was clear. He had lost his earlier melancholy.
“What if I have it already?”
Oh. Shen Yuan bit back a scowl. So, there was already a wife who Luo Binghe trusted, who he could love even more than he did now.
Was it First Wife Ning? No, she hadn’t seemed on friendly terms with Luo Binghe when they’d departed. Even if they’d slept together. She was certainly one of the wives whose disregard pained Luo Binghe the most.
Was it Chi Peng? She’d always respected Luo Binghe, and Luo Binghe respected her enough to give her two children. And they already had children together! It would be the perfect family for Luo Binghe.
There was also Liu Mingyan, one of the few who could hold her own against Luo Binghe in a fight. They’d never been close, but maybe Luo Binghe wanted to be closer?
“A-Yuan.”
Luo Binghe broke through Shen Yuan’s racing thoughts, silencing them easily with a simple endearment.
“Binghe?” Shen Yuan squeaked.
Rather than answering, Luo Binghe stood and stepped away from the fire. He walked to the craggy overlook and stood for a moment, at peace.
He was haloed in the first touches of moonlight, a pink glow wrapping him in warmth. Watching him, Shen Yuan was struck by the depth of his affection for Luo Binghe. He was content to watch, take whatever scraps of Binghe he could before he was no longer allowed.
“This lord,” Luo Binghe spoke, adopting a hint of formal speech that had been dropped long ago in the conversation, “thinks he has overlooked a flower in his garden.”
His voice carried easily over the wind, and Shen Yuan couldn’t pretend to have misunderstood.
“Oh,” Shen Yuan said numbly. He was right. Luo Binghe planned to pursue one of his wives. Would he keep the harem after he won her over? Or would the spouses be let go, on by one. Would Shen Yuan still be left behind? Even after all this?
Luo Binghe turned back to him.
“This lord doesn’t want to take another’s heart for himself,” he said. From their short distance, in the shadows of the moon, Shen Yuan couldn’t see Luo Binghe’s face. But he saw the slump in his husband’s shoulders. “I want someone to give me theirs freely. I want someone who loves me when I cannot love myself.”
Soft, fluffy snowflakes fluttered down between them. Shen Yuan barely noticed the change in weather.
On shaky legs, Shen Yuan stood.
Luo Binghe took a single step back towards the fire, eyes never leaving Shen Yuan’s.
“Who?” Shen Yuan asked quietly, though his heart raced.
“Who else?” Luo Binghe answered and took another step forward.
“Binghe.”
Then, he couldn’t stop himself. Shen Yuan ran to his husband.
It was only a few paces, but it was still too far. He wanted nothing more than for the distance between them to never exist.
Only a step away, Shen Yuan stumbled, falling inelegantly into Luo Binghe’s arms.
Shen Yuan clutched at Luo Binghe’s robes, steadying himself, and startled at the warm touch of Luo Binghe’s hands on his forearms.
“Binghe,” Shen Yuan whispered and looked up at Luo Binghe. The emperor was flushed, eyes wide and cheeks rosy. Shen Yuan wondered who else had ever had the privilege of seeing him like this?
“Will you?” Luo Binghe asked.
“Yes,” Shen Yuan agreed, moving his gaze to Luo Binghe’s lips, parted slightly. “Wait,” he looked back up, “will I what?”
Luo Binghe gave a small huff of laughter, though it barely reached his eyes.
“Will you love me? With everything you have?”
The question had none of Luo Binghe’s usual bluster or confidence. It was quiet, and a small furrow of concern had settled between his brows.
Shen Yuan wanted to wash it away.
So, he did.
“I already do,” Shen Yuan confessed with confidence he didn’t know he contained.
Tentatively, slowly, Luo Binghe bent his head forward and set it on Shen Yuan’s shoulder. The much bigger man curled in on himself in order to tuck himself into Shen Yuan’s side, and Shen Yuan overflowed with fondness.
Luo Binghe pulled back slightly after only a moment.
The braid caught Shen Yuan’s attention again, and he reached for it, tugging it lightly and soaking up the silky feel of Luo Binghe’s hair.
“Binghe has always been my favorite person,” Shen Yuan confessed, letting the braid run through his fingers. “Now, I want to be your favorite person, too.”
Shen Yuan spoke boldly, though he felt nothing like it. His confidence had long since run out, and he could feel the warmth of another blush on his cheeks.
A quick glance up eased his worries.
Luo Binghe was looking back at Shen Yuan softly.
“A-Yuan,” Luo Binghe whispered.
Then, no more words were needed as Shen Yuan leaned up on his toes and kissed his husband for the first time.
Luo Binghe easily leaned into the touch, his lips warm and softer than Shen Yuan had imagined.
He wrapped an arm around Shen Yuan’s waist and deepened the kiss.
Shen Yuan gladly followed Luo Binghe’s lead, losing himself in the moment.
Softly, quietly, the kiss slowed, and Shen Yuan pulled back slightly. They were so close that each breath mixed together. Luo Binghe settled his forehead against Shen Yuan’s, and Shen Yuan never wanted to be further apart than this ever again.
“Will my husband fix my hair?” Luo Binghe asked.
“Hmm?” Shen Yuan hummed the question, still focused on Luo Binghe’s lips.
Which curled up into a smile.
“Will A-Yuan fix his poor husband’s hair?”
Shen Yuan frowned slightly, leaning back only enough to look over Luo Binghe’s head. “What’s wrong with Binghe’s hair?”
“I want a new braid.”
“Oh,” Shen Yuan breathed, then the words settled in, and a large smile took over his face. “Yes, this husband will.”
“Good,” Luo Binghe answered. He leaned forward again, slotting himself against Shen Yuan and nuzzling into Shen Yuan’s neck. “I’m A-Yuan’s favorite person, and he is mine.”
“Oh, Binghe,” Shen Yuan was bright red again, “don’t be ridiculous.”
Luo Binghe tilted his head up towards the exposed skin on Shen Yuan’s neck and dragged his sharp canines across the skin. Shen Yuan shivered at the contact, immediately wanting something he couldn’t place.
“Does Husband Shen already regret what he said?”
“Binghe!” Shen Yuan reprimanded, swatting at his shoulder lightly. “Don’t put words in your husband’s mouth! Of course not.”
Shen Yuan felt Luo Binghe’s wide smile on his neck, and Luo Binghe held onto him tighter.
= = = = =
Time moved quickly after that for Shen Yuan. The life that had felt so stagnant only two days ago was now bursting with motion.
Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan spent the night on the mountain together, wrapped up in each other’s arms in the small tent. Not for a moment did it feel cramped.
And Shen Yuan experienced the pleasure that so many of the wives had once described to him.
Luo Binghe exceeded expectations.
The next morning, Luo Binghe flew them back to Yunbei, so Shen Yuan could deliver the Heart Flame Flower, make a horrible smelling tea out of it, and heal his father.
Luo Binghe made no move to escape the festivities this time and kept himself within arm’s reach of Shen Yuan the entire night. It was utterly embarrassing, and Shen Yuan never wanted him to stop.
They shared Shen Yuan’s cramped childhood bed, and when Shen Yuan suggested they find a better room, one with fewer bad memories and a bigger bed, the emperor had closed his eyes and pretended he didn’t hear Shen Yuan at all. Though, with Luo Binghe by his side – in person, and not just fictional character – the room lost its former oppression. Shen Yuan was glad to make new memories in it.
Except when Luo Binghe found the stash of Emperor Luo novels hidden under Shen Yuan’s bed. Including his assortment of yellow books. Shen Yuan was mortified and spent the day hidden in Shen Xiu’s room, who was more than happy to chase Luo Binghe off.
Though, after a week of aimlessly following each other around and pestering Shen Yuan’s siblings, Shen Yuan suggested they go back to the palace. He wanted to see the rest of his family.
Neither Shen Yuan or Luo Binghe were allowed to leave until they’d said goodbyes to the whole town and promised a million times over to return in at least a month for the twins’ birthdays.
On the travels home, Luo Binghe insisted on taking the scenic route, and Shen Yuan had no complaints. There was no urgency on his part, and Luo Binghe had delegated all palace affairs to Mobei-Jun and Ning Yingying for the time-being. Shen Yuan thought his husband deserved a vacation for once.
Luo Binghe, though, was methodically taking Shen Yuan to locations that had been featured within the novels Luo Binghe had uncovered.
At first, Shen Yuan thought it was a fun coincidence that they’d taken a break at the exact same lake that Luo Binghe had once killed a Seven-Eyed Seal Demon.
Then they’d spent the night in the town where Luo Binghe had eradicated an infestation of Skinner Demons.
And the next day involved the forest where Luo Binghe had fought ten cultivators for the precious branch of Spinning Peach Tree that saved Sixtieth Wife Gao, as well as the hidden lake within the forest where Golden Koi lived.
The coincidences didn’t add up until Yuan was halfway through explaining to Luo Binghe that he’d read all about the forest years before in The Heavenly Tyrant’s Reign series.
Yet, the most mortifying of all was a night spent in the exact cave system that Forty-Third Wife Yu and Luo Binghe had discovered. Luo Binghe had been sure to show Shen Yuan exactly how the… effects of dual cultivation made certain strains of flora within the cave illuminate. They had fallen asleep to cave walls sparkling brightly.
After every excursion, though Shen Yuan was horrifically embarrassed that a tour of his husband’s life was so exciting for him, Luo Binghe was adorably smug. It was worth everything to know that Luo Binghe was enjoying the journey as much as he was.
Eventually, they actually made their way to the palace.
“There!” Shen Yuan called out. He didn’t bother unwrapping his arms from Luo Binghe’s waist to point the direction. Luo Binghe certainly had known they were close well before Shen Yuan.
Luo Binghe frowned.
“What’s wrong Binghe? We’re almost home.”
Shen Yuan was awarded a soft glance for that, then it dropped again.
“Is it truly a home when there are so many in it?” he grumbled.
Shen Yuan had not forgotten Luo Binghe’s painful confession. He never would.
The palace had long ago become a place of obligation for Luo Binghe, not comfort.
“We don’t need to stay long,” Shen Yuan offered. “Binghe need not feel tied to this place.”
Luo Binghe tightened his own hold on Shen Yuan’s waist and leaned down for a kiss. It was always awkward on the sword, with them already being so close and having nowhere to move, but it hadn’t stopped Luo Binghe from trying.
Shen Yuan accepted the kiss easily, despite the logistical hurdles, leaning as far up on his toes as he could.
He would never tire of kissing his husband.
Shen Yuan pulled away first and gave Luo Binghe another quick kiss on the cheek.
“I think, though,” Shen Yuan said slowly, “that there are more people who love and admire Binghe than he knows.”
“This husband doesn’t need any of them,” Luo Binghe answered simply.
“Well, maybe you want them?”
Luo Binghe didn’t answer.
“I want you to be happy,” Shen Yuan added.
“You make me happy.”
Shen Yuan smiled up at Luo Binghe.
“Binghe makes me happy, too.”
That earned Shen Yuan another flash of smile as they landed before the palace.
Luo Binghe guided Shen Yuan off Xin Mo and didn’t let go of his hand as he stepped off as well. With a showy flick of his wrist, that he knew Shen Yuan adored, Luo Binghe sheathed Xin Mo.
The two only made it as far as the inner courtyard before they were attacked.
“Yuan-ge!”
Guo Haoyu ran towards him and crushed him into a hug.
Shen Yuan still held Luo Binghe with one hand but used the other to pat at Guo Haoyu’s back.
“Ah, Yu’er, what’s all this?”
“Where have you been?” She asked, then pulled back and looked Shen Yuan over for, presumably, signs of damage.
“I was back home, Yu’er. You know that.”
“No,” Guo Haoyu responded primly. “You were not.”
She fully stepped back and crossed her arms, glaring at him, so similar to his Meimei.
“I went to Yunbei last week, after Third Wife Sha and I returned, and you weren’t there.” She glared at him. “Shen Xiu’s wonderful, by the way. We’ve started to write.”
Shen Yuan blinked.
“Okay, umm, you met my family?”
“Yes, and they’re delightful humans, but you haven’t answered the question; where were you?”
Shen Yuan nodded to his side, where Luo Binghe was standing silently.
“With Binghe,” Shen Yuan answered. “We were traveling.”
Guo Haoyu turned her glare on him, though she very quickly stifled the animosity and dropped into a bow. Shen Yuan wasn’t sure he would have caught the behavior a month prior. But now, it was all he could see.
“This wife greets her husband.”
She was unbearably stiff.
Luo Binghe looked like he swallowed a bitter lemon. He let go of Shen Yuan’s hand to wrap an arm around his shoulder instead. Shen Yuan accepted it happily, giving Luo Binghe a quick, warm smile.
Guo Haoyu watched them warily.
“Yuan-ge,” she started, but was cut off.
“Yu’er.” Shen Yuan said. “Thank you for trying to visit me. Had things not gone as well as they did, your company would have been desperately needed.”
Guo Haoyu softened at that, though her gaze still flicked between Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe.
“This old man apologizes for forgetting to write,” Shen Yuan pleaded. “Can Wife Guo find it in her kind soul to forgive this poor husband?”
He tried to drop into an exaggerated bow but was stopped by both Luo Binghe and Guo Haoyu before he could even bend.
Guo Haoyu watched Luo Binghe as she pushed Shen Yuan back up.
“You were with Lord Luo this whole time?” she asked.
“Yes,” Luo Binghe answered for Shen Yuan. He gave a harsh smile, and Shen Yuan swooned at the sight of his sharp canines.
“Binghe took me so many places,” Shen Yuan explained. “We flew all over the realm before coming back! We even saw a Seven-Eyed Seal Demon and its pups!”
Guo Haoyu perked up at that, then forced a frown back into place.
“And now?” she asked Luo Binghe.
“We’ll leave again in a few days,” the emperor answered coolly.
Shen Yuan leaned into Luo Binghe side to show his support.
“Oh.” Guo Haoyu’s eyebrows dipped together, focused. “Then on your next return… should we prepare the palace for a new spouse?”
Luo Binghe scowled.
But Shen Yuan couldn’t help wanting to hear his husband’s answer, as well. He understood if he was never enough for Luo Binghe; if one day, the emperor found someone better suited to sit by his side for eternity.
It would hurt, and certainly hurt more the longer Shen Yuan spent with Luo Binghe. But for the chance to be with his husband, Shen Yuan would willingly accept sharing.
“No,” Luo Binghe answered. “This lord will never take another spouse.”
Shen Yuan’s heart skipped a beat.
Luo Binghe held Shen Yuan tighter.
“This lord shall only ever need Shen Yuan.”
There was absolute certainty in his voice that warmed Shen Yuan to the core.
“Really?” he asked, unable to stop himself.
“A-Yuan has given this lord his heart,” Luo Binghe answered, seriously. “He’s not allowed to take it back now.”
“Never, Binghe.”
Shen Yuan took the initiative to lean up and kiss Luo Binghe on the cheek. The much larger man seemed to melt into Shen Yuan as he did so.
Guo Haoyu coughed, pulling their attention back to her.
“Please treat him right, Lord Luo.”
She bowed, to its full depth, without an air of disdain about her, and gave Luo Binghe her respect.
It was a start. And Shen Yuan was glad to see it.
They were interrupted, before either could respond, by the pounding of feet.
Shen Yuan looked up just in time to catch two small, fluffy demon children throw themselves at him.
“Laoshi!” Both Luo Xuanqi and Luo Xuanyu yelled, as if their presence wasn’t already known.
“Hello, my small pupils,” Shen Yuan greeted.
The children stared up at Shen Yuan, their small hands gripped his robes tightly.
“It’s been so looong, Laoshi,” Luo Xuanyu, the younger boy, cried.
“You left us all alone,” Luo Xuanqi frowned.
Shen Yuan shot Luo Binghe a fond exasperated look, though Luo Binghe wasn’t really paying attention to Shen Yuan. He had a strange expression watching his children. Shen Yuan wondered if he saw himself in them.
After spending so many days in Luo Binghe’s company, he could see traces of Luo Binghe in everything his children did, even the begging.
Shen Yuan turned back to them.
“It was only a month,” he attempted to placate, patting each of their heads.
Guo Haoyu chimed in, always happy to make a lot of chaos out of a little. “A whole month!”
The boys nodded eagerly, happy to have someone on their side.
“A whole month, Laoshi!” Luo Xuanyu crowed.
Shen Yuan laughed at the synchronized complaints.
“What could you have possibly missed without me here?” he questioned. “You have your actual Laoshi to teach, your siblings to play with, and your mother. What do you need this old man for?”
Luo Xuanqi shook his head.
“It’s not the same, Laoshi.”
“Yea, Zhang Laoshi doesn’t do the voices when she reads to us,” Luo Xuanyu added.
“And all the babies are still babies,” Luo Xuanqi scowled, speaking of his younger siblings. “We can’t even play games with them yet!”
“No games!” Shen Yuan faked shock, and the children greedily lapped it up.
“No games, Laoshi!”
“See what you did, Yuan-ge,” Guo Haoyu joined in again. “You left them with no games.”
There was a hint of smile playing at her lips, and Shen Yuan was happy to see it. Whatever her concern for Luo Binghe was, she seemed willing to trust that Shen Yuan knew what he was doing.
It felt like ages had passed since Shen Yuan had spent the night worrying if he’d ever see the palace again.
In the past weeks, Luo Binghe had shown – over and over – his intention to keep Shen Yuan by his side. And Shen Yuan knew he’d follow Luo Binghe for as long as the other man wanted.
“Truly a travesty,” Shen Yuan agreed, solemn. “There’s only one thing we can do.”
The boys stared up at him.
“Tag! And Haoyu’s it!”
“Hey!” The young demon princess yelled, immediately rocking forward on her feet to swipe at Luo Xuanyu.
Both boys let out shrieks of laughter and broke apart, letting go of Shen Yuan’s robes and running off in different direction. Guo Haoyu gave Shen Yuan a wink and chased after them.
Shen Yuan turned to Luo Binge and grabbed his hand.
Luo Binghe’s gaze never strayed from Shen Yuan. He watched their fingers intertwine.
“C’mon!” Shen Yuan pulled Luo Binghe after him, already a little breathless, and started to run.
Laughter filled the courtyard.
Shen Yuan looked behind him to check on Luo Binghe. His husband was as wide-eyed as his children, following behind Shen Yuan like a puppy.
Shen Yuan laughed, letting his joy take over, and smiled widely at Luo Binghe.
Luo Binghe looked back at him with what Shen Yuan could only describe as awe.
Hand in hand, they ran together.
art by Worm / @softandworm