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Am I... God?

Summary:

Ricky thinks about what Mischa meant when he called him Space Jesus

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

We will listen to you now, Space Jesus. That was what played through Ricky’s head as he sat in the warehouse, ignoring Ocean's yapping. Space Jesus, huh. It was a joke, sure, but maybe it held more meaning than Mischa, or even Ricky himself, understood.

Ricky mastered the art of ignoring Ocean. She simply didn't exist when he didn't want her to. Instead of sitting through more speeches to tune out, he went to find Noel. Noel saw Ricky coming and smiled, patting the floor next to him to call him over.

“Did Ocean bore you?” Noel asked when Ricky sat down.

“When does she not?” The two boys laughed at that. “I was just thinking,” he shrugged.

Noel turned to face Ricky directly. “Is this a good thinking or a bad thinking?” he asked seriously.

“It was just thinking.”

That was an adequate answer. Noel wouldn't push if Ricky didn't want him to. He relaxed again before asking, “What were you thinking about?”

“Am I god?”

The question caught Noel off guard. Ricky was full of surprises, but out of anything Noel couldn't expect, this went far beyond. Noel laughed, a little too much than he meant to. “What do you mean?”

“My song. Mischa called me ‘Space Jesus’ as a joke, but I've been thinking about it,” he looked at Noel, hoping he'd have some input. When the boy didn't respond, Ricky continued. “The characters, the planets, everything that belongs in my world is all made up by me. All their actions are controlled, every area is designed specifically, every interaction is scripted. The only thing that changes is my presence, and even then everything else stays consistent. They don't know they're being controlled, that's just their lives.”

“Woah,” Noel thought about it. “I don't know what to say, that's just-”

“Insane?”

“A little, but go on.”

“The people of Zolar think they have free will. I am the only one who has free will and clearly I'm an outsider even to the Zolarian people, but they still worship me and treat me like a god.”

“So you're the god of Zolar?”

“Yes, that much was obvious, but what if we are like Zolar? What if there's someone controlling us and we don't know it?”

Noel looked at Ricky in awe. “I want to know what goes on inside your brain. I don't think even the greatest writers of all time could come up with something so… so…” he tried thinking of a word, but nothing came.

Ricky shrugged, he knew what Noel meant even if he couldn't get the words out. “I just think, that's it.”

“Incredible. Truly, it's incredible how you can do that.”

Notes:

I had no idea how to end it