Archive of Our Own ^beta

Yawnzzning has uploaded a new video! #GRWM I almost dropped out of university if it weren’t for this one guy lol

[Video shows a tall man in a black tank top sitting in a well-lit, neatly organized bedroom. There is a shelf against the wall that holds trinkets out of focus. The man fidgets on screen and does his makeup.]

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “Get ready with me while I get ready for class! I’m going for a more casual look today, I think. I have a lighter class load. I actually don’t even want to do my makeup today. [laugh] Obviously, I’m still going to do it. Anyway, storytime: so this happened, I wanna say, two years ago? My second year of uni. I had this insane work load because I was stupid and over-booked my schedule. I felt like a zombie that entire semester, and when exams came around, I think I reached my breaking point? I don’t remember much, I just remember having three huge exams on the same day, and going to the library to study because my roommate at the time was a little loud. So I’m there, in the library, surrounded by other people who are also having mental breakdowns, and I guess I thought ‘why the hell not?’ so, I joined them. I started crying, but like, full on sobbing. Ah, it’s a little embarrassing for me to say this, but I really am sensitive to stress. So, I’m sobbing over polypeptide bonds, mentally already filling out the paperwork I need to drop out and preparing myself to face my parent’s disappointment in me, and then this guy was right there! In front of me! By the way, guys, I love this concealer. It brightens up my eyes so I almost look alive again. Ah, anyway, this guy. I guess I must’ve scared him, which is fair because I was there sounding like this: [ugly sobbing sounds]. [Laugh] So, he comes up to me, and he asks me what’s wrong, and I was like gesturing to my notes. So then he asks if he can help me, all shy and cute, and so naturally this stupid gesture of kindness makes me sob harder! I scared the shit out of this guy. He had these doe eyes and seeing him panic when I cried was so funny, I started laughing too. I’m sobbing, and I’m laughing, and I probably look like I’m having a psychotic break, and you know what this guy does? [pause] He fucking laughs at me! [laughing] And then he sat down across from me and started pulling his own shit out to study. I don’t think we exchanged another word, but I managed to pull myself together. At some point I remember him sliding over some gummies for me to snack on, which was sweet, but other than that he just kind of sat there with me. Ah, shit I’m gonna run out of time soon. Okay, well fast forward to when he’s finally leaving. He’s gathering his shit together, and then he turns to me and tells me I shouldn’t cry, because I’m an ugly crier. [scoff] And then he wished me luck on my exams, and just left! Anyway, I didn’t drop out because I needed to see him again. I dunno his name, his major, or anything about him really, but he was literally the most gorgeous man I’ve ever set my eyes on, and I am a man of simple needs, okay? I see a pretty boy, I fall in love. If you saw his big brown eyes, you’d get it. Okay, I think that’s good for today. Subtle, right? I like this lip tint a lot. It hydrates my lips.”

Yawnzzning (2y ago) #GRWM

[Video shows Yawnzzning standing at a distance from the camera. There are clothes slung over both arms as he talks.]

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “So, a couple of my friends asked me to go with them to this house party at some rich guy’s house, and told me there’d be a lot of free alcohol, and obviously I’m not going to say no to that. So, I’m getting ready now. I have to leave in like an hour, and my makeup is already done, so all I have to do is figure out what to wear. I’m thinking something casual, but also slutty. Like, yes, I look hot, but I don’t even have to try. I’m a classy slut, not your average slut. I really want to wear this top though—I got it from a friend and I haven’t gotten a chance to wear it out yet, and I don’t know what to pair it with. I’m thinking maybe this skirt? I’m not feeling the skirt tonight though, so maybe these? [Camera cuts to Yawnzzning suddenly wearing baggy cargo pants slung low on his hips.] Hm now that I’m looking at them, they’re not giving casual slut, they’re giving “hey baby, wanna bum a smoke?” [Laugh] Okay, maybe these pants instead? Oh, that’s much cuter. Okay. I think a jacket would make it good, maybe this one? Or this? Or, oh! Oh, I completely forgot about this jacket. I like this one. Okay, accessories. I’m not going to do too much this time, I’m thinking just some rings? Maybe a few necklaces? Oh this looks hot. Hang on lemme…[Posing for the camera. Laughs] That looked stupid. Whatever. I’m just going to wear these shoes, because I like how they look with this necklace…and, done! You guys can’t tell because I cut a lot of the try on for the video, but I have only five minutes before my friends are going to blow up my phone asking me if I’m going to be late, so…yeah. Here’s the final fit!”]

Yawnzzning (2y ago) I’m in love

[Video is dark and Yawnzzning is walking quickly at night. It’s a very zoomed in shot of his face, and he’s sweaty and flushed.]

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “You guys. I think I’ve ascended. I think I’ve achieved enlightenment. I just had the best night of my life, and I think I got my soul sucked out through my—[video cuts] Sorry, forgot about censoring. Anyway, when I tell you this guy’s tongue had me seeing stars, I mean I could name the constellations I saw for you. Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Aquila, Ursa Major. I saw them. I was there. There’s a star up there named Yeonjun because that’s where this man sent me. I don’t normally talk about my sex life, because honestly its tragically dry, but figured you should know this guy and the library dude who told me I’m an ugly crier are one and the same. The same guy!”]

ONE

“Oh, look. Here comes your best friend.” Wooyoung nudges Yeonjun’s ribs with his elbow, a pleased shit-eating grin splitting his features.

“Shut up.” Yeonjun elbows him back, his face heating up even as he shoots a glare at his best friend. “He’ll hear you.”

“I could only be so lucky.” Wooyoung fires back, and he’s still grinning when Yeonjun forces Wooyoung to stop gesturing so obviously to the boy approaching them from a few meters away.

Choi Beomgyu, 20 years old, walks with a purpose. His fluffy head of brown hair bounces as he takes his steps, crossing courtyard before the front building of the university with ease with his long legs. It’s the third week of the new school year, and the brief break between classes has only made Choi Beomgyu that much pretty. It really shouldn’t be possible, because Beomgyu has already been extraordinarily pretty, but absence does make the heart grow fond and all that. There has been plenty of absence, unfortunately, and Yeonjun’s heart seems to have a predisposition to being fond of Choi Beomgyu.

He's in a sweater today, striped black and red, and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbow. The pants he wears are torn, and his knees peak through the tears with each step he takes towards where Wooyoung has stopped walking, and Yeonjun has reluctantly stopped with him. There’s a polite smile on Beomgyu’s lips when he stops before them, his hand out stretched with a flier Yeonjun automatically takes into his own hands.

“Hey, sorry. I’ll be quick. So, I work at the Catfe, and we’re going to be holding and event this weekend to fundraise for things we need for the cats—you know, food, litter, toys. All of the essentials.” Beomgyu says, the words clearly rehearsed. His voice bright, upbeat, and god his lips are so pink. “I’m trying to get more hype around it. All the details are in the flier, and if you know anyone who’d be interested, feel free to direct them to the socials! There’s on the bottom of the flier, right there.”

Yeonjun tracks the finger that points to the bottom of the stack of fliers he still has in his hands. It’s then that his brain catches up to the events, and he reads through the flier he had just taken.

The Catfe invites you to our Bi-Annual Fundraiser Event!

Saturday March 2^nd | 9:00am-5:30pm

Drinks are half off with every food donation brought.

Rewards of monetary donations vary by amount.

Lots of fun prizes and raffles!

Come make a new friend!

We hope to see you there🐾

Half the flier is filled with a little illustration of a waving, chubby cat, shaped more like a bean with ears on it’s head than a cat, really, but it’s cute. Yeonjun feels himself smiling at it, and definitely not at Beomgyu and the way he says, “Do you guys think you’ll make it?”

Wooyoung nudges Yeonjun’s ribs again, and he glares at him, the exchange clearly not missed by Beomgyu if the way he looks curiously between them says anything. Still, Yeonjun pretends nothing happened and opens his mouth.

Wooyoung speaks before Yeonjun gets the chance to. “You bet. I love cats, so does Yeonjun. Isn’t that right, darling?”

Yeonjun’s going to kill him. He hopes San forgives him for leaving him a widow.

“Yeah.” He agrees, tossing a venomous look to his best friend and then turning to Beomgyu. “We’ll be there. It looks fun.”

“Cool!” The boy chirps, and then he waves. “See you there, then! Oh, and drinks are half off if you bring your Student ID, by the way!”

And then he walks off, not turning back once even as Yeonjun watches his fluffy, round head retreat. Yeonjun sighs wistfully—how he wishes he could run his fingers through the strands. He knows firsthand how soft it is, and if he had known that he wouldn’t be able to pet his hair again, Yeonjun would have made the one and only time he had count.

It’s only when Beomgyu is out of hearing range that Wooyoung says, in an obnoxiously high tone, “Sure, Beomgyu! We’ll be there because I’m so in love with you! It looks fun! Please date me!”

“I’m going to kill you.” Yeonjun vows, and Wooyoung’s cackle dissolves into a sharp yelp of main thanks to the hard punch to the arm Yeonjun had delivered.

Serves him right.

-

Saturday at 10:45am, Yeonjun’s rubbing his sweaty palms against his jeans while his heart is doing funny things in his chest. Wooyoung isn’t helping at all—he and his boyfriend, San, were walking hand in hand, both snickering to themselves as Yeonjun grew more and more nervous the closer they approached The Catfe. The camera in his hands shakes and he’s had to wipe off his palms on his pants more than once. He’d come with the excuse of creating a vlog of the events, to make content for his account, so to speak. Yeonjun prayed he would be able to film anything usable with how shaky his hands are, or if he doesn’t, he hopes that at least he can play it off as being excited for the day. It’s perfectly normal to be excited to visit a cat café, right? In the digital world, where cat videos thrive, Yeonjun is sure he’ll be forgiven if his footage is a little shaky because of the cats.

The Calico Catfe was a decently sized building located twenty minutes from the university campus, with big floor to ceiling windows that allowed the people passing by to sneak a peek at the adoptable cats housed within the place and the cozy, colorful atmosphere inside. There was a simple painted sign above the main entrance that just read the name and had the same bean-shaped cat mascot peeking from the corner. There were small tables set up in a smalled sectioned off patio by the windows to the cats. Today, in accordance to the event, it was decorated with a few balloons and the front door was wide open, allowing the customers to come and go as they wished.

The Catfe had always been something Yeonjun had been distantly aware of, because Taehyun was an avid cat lover and he’d lamented over and over to Yeonjun as to why they couldn’t go there, just once. The answer was that Yeonjun knew Taehyun had a soft heart, and he would fall in love with the first cat he sees, and then he’d turn his lethal, big pleading eyes to Yeonjun knowing full well that Yeonjun had an even softer, weaker heart and exploit that knowledge to ask him if he really couldn’t do Taehyun the favor of adopting the cat for him, ‘just until I move out of the dorms, hyung!’

So, Yeonjun had never walked into the little café, except today he had met up with Wooyoung at the bus-stop, and they had commuted together to where San would be waiting for them, and now they were only twenty feet from The Catfe, and Wooyoung wouldn’t stop making these obnoxious wet kissing noises at Yeonjun’s back. He almost turned around and went back home, but San shook his head at him and insisted he wanted to see the cats, too.

And, well, who was Yeonjun to say no to that?

Inside of The Catfe (as Taehyun had dubbed it once and it had stuck with Yeonjun), the large, plexiglass divider that separated the main lobby from the Catio (as per the letters painted on the wall where the cats lounged on various colorful scratchers and jumped from fixtures built into the walls) was half obscured by a few kids, some teenagers, and a few couples cooing over the cats on the other side. Three people were already playing with the cats inside the Catio. One of them was sat in the corner, looking near tears over the large tuxedo cat bunched up in her lap, eyes closed as its head was gently stroked.

Yeonjun could empathize. He is not the strongest when it comes to cute animals, either, and though Yeonjun doesn’t know a single thing about cats, he does know they are unfairly cute, and they remind him a little bit of Taehyun.

Together, the trio approach the front counter, but not before Yeonjun was able to take some short videos of the general organized chaos. The menu above boasts special, event exclusive drinks that Yeonjun is itching to try. It’s not Beomgyu that helps them, but rather a pretty woman probably in her late twenties, with dark auburn hair and a green apron decorated with pawprints. She runs their discount when they present their university student IDs, and cheerfully explains all the events being hosted.

Yeonjun is only half paying attention, his eyes roaming the café for a certain mop of brown hair he hopes is actually here today. He’s in luck. Inside the Catio, Beomgyu is coaxing one of the tabby cats down from the wall fixture with a feather toy, plucking the cat from the shelf when it’s within reach and handing it over gently to a boy who looks no older than ten, looking all too much like he’s vibrating in place with excitement. A man who must be his father stands beside him, and he crouches down to stroke the cat in the boy’s arms. It’s really cute, but Yeonjun is struck stupid by the genuine smile that lights up Beomgyu’s face.

“Oh, you have it bad.” San comments, at least having the decency to sound sympathetic.

“Yeonjun, stand up.” Wooyoung says, not sympathetic at all. “This is embarrassing.”

Ears burning, Yeonjun rips his gaze away from Beomgyu. They take their drinks when they’re ready—Yeonjun is really enjoying his Pink Toe-Bean (a green milk tea with strawberry and milk cap)—and Wooyoung and San drag Yeonjun to the tables where they’ve set up an employee to keep track of donations, raffle entries, and the like. Yeonjun donates what he can, of course, and he’s entered into a raffle for a coffee tumbler with the store logo on it. The bean-shaped cat that was on the flier and the sign up front is the official Catfe Mascot—they call her Muffin.

Yeonjun tries not to coo too audibly, though the employee looks at him with twinkling eyes and he somehow knows he’s been seen through.

It’s really fun, actually. Yeonjun loses track of Beomgyu when the store owner comes out with a box of kittens that needed rehoming from the local shelter, and Yeonjun will admit he cries a little when he hears the high pitched meows coming from the box. San actually tears up and clutches his boyfriend’s arm for support, and though Wooyoung winces at the harsh grip, he, too, is looking suspiciously misty-eyed. If Taehyun had been here, Yeonjun is sure his friend would’ve already been rifling through cat names in his head for one of the kittens that he would, without a doubt, smuggle into his dorm like contraband if he had to.

When he does see Beomgyu again, it’s minutes before they’re about to leave, and he’s still in the Cateo, but he’s grimacing and he’s trying to coax out something fuzzy from what looks like a giant milk carton. He’s crouched before it, and when he tries to off something from a brightly colors tube, all that happens is a little white paw slapping it out of his hands. Beomgyu lets the treat drop, the most defeated look on his face, and he sighs and glances over. Their eyes meet, Yeonjun choking mid-sip of the last of his Pink Toe-Bean drink when Beomgyu lights up with recognition and waves at Yeonjun.

Yeonjun waves back after a heartbeat. From beyond the plexiglass, Beomgyu starts to gesture for Yeonjun to come over to him, for some reason. Yeonjun blinks, pointing at himself, and Beomgyu nods furiously. He looks around, trying and failing to find the entrance. Beomgyu takes pity on him and stands up, fuzzball in the giant milk carton forgotten. From a side entrance beside the front counter Yeonjun hadn’t seen before, Beomgyu peeks his head out.

He calls, “Yah! Choi Yeonjun! C’mere!”

Yeonjun goes, helpless to the whims of this pretty boy. The said pretty boy leads him back over to the milk carton, talking a mile a minute.

“I didn’t think you’d make it! No offense, but I didn’t really think you were much of a cat guy. You look like a dog person, actually.” Beomgyu shrugs, sitting down cross-legged. Yeonjun joins him, unsure of what the hell is happening. “You haven’t tried to meet the cats yet! I keep seeing you glance over here, but you never came through. Are you shy?”

Yeonjun stammers, “No. I just—They’re cute. They’re really cute.”

“They are.” Beomgyu agrees. A grey, lanky kitten bounds across his lap, chasing a larger, chubbier grey cat that swats the kitten away and then primly walks off. Beomgyu picks up the grey kitten and strokes it’s head, then hands it to Yeonjun who takes the cat clumsily, unsure what to do with it. “This is Gamcho. He’s not actually up for adoption. A family already claimed him this morning, but they won’t be able to bring him home until tomorrow since they have to get permission from the building owner, but it’s a formality I guess. Other tenants have pets. He’s cute though, right?”

Yeonjun looks at the squirming grey cat, meeting it’s large yellow eyes, and okay, yeah. He’s adorable. Yeonjun’s heart does another funny thing when the cat starts to bite at his thumb until Yeonjun drops him, and he bounds off. Gamcho the cat finds himself a crinkling toy and he’s gone in a blur of grey.

“Have you seen any that you’re interested in?” Beomgyu asks, snapping Yeonjun’s attention back to him.

He’s looking at Yeonjun hopefully. Maybe it had been a bad idea to come here, after all. He should have considered that seeing a beautiful boy surrounded by cute, fluffy cats would do terrible, terrible things to his weak, delicate heart. But Yeonjun had this tendency to do stupid things when it came to Choi Beomgyu, and coming to this event was not even close to the top of the list of stupid things Yeonjun has done for this boy’s attention.

Yeonjun panics a little, though, when Beomgyu looks so earnest, so excited at the prospect of one of these cats being adopted by him. Yeonjun doesn’t have plans to adopt any pets—honestly, he doesn’t know what he would even do with one, even if his apartment doesn’t really care about whether he has one or not. But here he is, faced with the full force of Beomgyu’s puppy dog eyes, and his lashes are so long Yeonjun’s tongue feels glued to the roof of his mouth for all the elegance that he has when he says, “Um…”

Beomgyu waits. When it becomes evident that Yeonjun isn’t going to say anything else, he starts to look a little awkward. “Sorry, am I making you uncomfortable? I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that.”

“No, it’s fine.” Yeonjun blurts. He looks around the Catio; there’s so many cats. He feels panic tug more at his chest when he realizes there are too many to just pick one and pretend he wanted to take it home. So, buying time, Yeonjun rambles, “I just can’t decide. They’re all so cute, and well, you can’t really know the personality of the pet from the window right? And I think, what if I pick one and they don’t like me, and then I feel horrible because I took the opportunity for the cat to go home with someone they like! Which would be terrible. I think I’d cry if I do that to a cat.”

Beomgyu laughs, throwing his head back—Yeonjun tries not to look at the long, elegant line of his throat, tries not to picture what it’d look like covered in marks. Cheeks burning, Yeonjun forces his attention to the comically large milk carton.

“That’s what you have to meet them for.” Beomgyu finally says when his laughter runs out. He seems to notice where Yeonjun’s attention is. Slyly, Beomgyu says, “Careful. Miss Vivienne isn’t exactly people friendly.”

“What?”

Beomgyu picks up the tube he’d offered before, handing it to Yeonjun delicately. He squeezes it to hard on accident and something that smells like tuna drips onto his finger. Gross.

“That’s a licky treat.” Beomgyu explains. “She usually likes those, but she hates me. You can try offering it to her if you want? Maybe she’ll like you.” In a quiet mutter Yeonjun isn’t sure he’s meant to hear, Beomgyu adds, “Though I doubt it.”

Yeonjun nods anyway, pretending his hands aren’t shaking when he scoots closer to the milk carton. There’s a circular hole that serves as a window. Beomgyu scoots over to make room for Yeonjun. When he’s close enough, he looks through the circle to see the biggest, widest pair of green eyes blinking owlishly at him. Yeonjun blinks back.

“Oh, hello.” He says to the cat, shocked. The cat stares at him—she’s a fluffy white cat with patches of colors in her long fur, tucked into the milk carton so tightly she looks tiny. Yeonjun feels himself melt. “You’re so cute, oh my god.”

Beomgyu mutters, “She’d have you think that.”

Yeonjun barely hears him, too busy cooing over the cat. “Hi, cutie. Do you want this?”

He offers out the licky treat, reaching a little in. Out of the corner of his eye, Beomgyu makes an aborted gesture to pull Yeonjun back, though the little pink nose of the cat twitches. It twitches some more, lifting into the air, and slowly, the cat leans her head forward. A pink tongue darts out to lick at the treat from the tube.

Yeonjun nearly cries.

“You’re so cute.” His voice wobbles. “Oh my god, you’re so cute.”

“Is she eating it?” Beomgyu asks curiously—Yeonjun startles, having actually forgotten the boy’s presence. He glances over; Beomgyu is watching him oddly, eyebrows knit together in what could almost be displeasure. Yeonjun’s stomach sinks.

Had he done something wrong?

“Um…” The cat’s pink tongue is still lapping up the tuna from the tube. “Yeah?”

Beomgyu peers at him, frowning, then he forces a smile on his face that is too polite to be real. Oh, no this is Beomgyu’s customer service smile. Yeonjun has fucked up enough to earn a customer service smile. He’s going to cry. No, he’s crying. Yeonjun frantically blinks away the prickle of tears.

“Well!” Beomgyu chirps—it’s the customer service voice, too. Yeonjun laments. “I guess that’s good! She doesn’t really…like people. It’s…good…that she likes you.”

The way he says that makes it obvious that there is nothing good about the way this cat is happily taking the treat. Her cold nose bumps into his fingers, startling Yeonjun’s attention back to her. It tickles his skin to feel her sniffling at his fingers with an intensity that makes Yeonjun feel like he’s being judged by the cat, too.

“Um.” Yeonjun says, like an intellectual.

Beomgyu says, “Do you want to spend some one-on-one time with her?”

Again, Yeonjun can only stare stupidly at Beomgyu, his hand still being intensely sniffed by the small cat inside the giant milk carton—it’s a strawberry milk carton, he belatedly notices.

“I can’t.” Yeonjun finally says, his heart sinking into his stomach at the disappointed pout Beomgyu gives him before he rearranges his expression into something more neutral. “Sorry, I—Not today. My friends—San has to get going, and I promised to buy them lunch for coming with me, so I can’t today. I’m sorry.”

Just like that, Beomgyu perks back up. “Oh, that’s alright. You can come by another day and I can get you into one of the one-on-one rooms with her! To see if you and Vivienne get along.”

“Sure.” Yeonjun promises immediately. “Yeah. That’s great. Perfect.”

Beomgyu beams at him, and Yeonjun has no real recollection of the rest of the day.

-

Yawnzzning (2y ago) the worst night of my life #Part1

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “I’m mortified. I’m literally mortified. I wish I had blacked out, but I wasn’t nearly drunk enough for that, so I remember every fucking detail oh my god. [camera cuts. The setting is now a dimly lit bedroom. Yawnzzning is sitting with his head in his hands, expression pained.] Did you guys know I’m an emotional drunk? It’s embarrassing actually. Three drinks in and I’m crying into my best friend’s shoulder, and any more and I become a therapist’s nightmare. Anyway, I’m five drinks in, I can’t find my best friend so I have no shoulder to cry on, so I did the next best thing and I went outside and sat in the little front yard, and just cried. [Yawnzzning lifts his head and fixes the camera with a dead eyed stare. His makeup is still smeared around his eyes.] Picture this: you’re a drunk uni student, and you arrive at this house party trying to get fucked up and maybe laid, and you step outside to get some fresh air in between drinks because it’s getting a little stuffy, you know? So you’re going outside, and there’s this nearly six-foot guy sitting criss-cross apple sauce like a toddler, crying like one at who knows what time at night. I was the dude crying! I don’t actually remember why I was crying, to be honest, I just know one minute I’m taking another shot my friends offered me, and the next I’m looking for my best friend and didn’t find him, and then I’m crying in the grass. Fuck I’m out of time I’ll have to make a part two.”]

Yawnzzning (2y ago) the worst night of my life #Part2

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “Episode recap! I’m five shots in, crying in the grass, and my best friend is missing. Okay, you’re caught up? Cool. I think I must’ve been a pretty pathetic sight, because this guy comes up to me, and he offers me a drink to make me feel better, and I take it even though I really should have been cut off at that point, and had my best friend been there, he wouldn’t have let me make that stupid decision. I drank half the bottle, by the way. The dude left after he gave me the drink, but then some other guy walks up while I’m still crying into my drink, and he kinda sat next to me and I’m expecting it to be the last guy to have come back with another drink. So I’m about to tell him I still haven’t finished the first he gave me, and then I recognize library guy! The way I think my body froze in shock. I think my body took the equivalent of a screenshot because I could not move, I was stuck there. And he’s obviously embarrassed, but he still asks me if I’m okay. If you’re an emotional drunk, you know being asked if you’re okay if the worst thing because then I started crying harder, and then library guy starts patting the top of my head. And I’m still sobbing like a lunatic, and he must have thought I was insane by then, but he still goes, ‘hey, if you’re crying about an ex, they didn’t deserve you anyway. If you’re crying about a grade, there will be other chances. And if you’re crying because you’re drunk and emotional, then tell me about it so we can be drunk and emotional together.’ [A long pause. Yawnzzning looks straight into the camera, still dead eyed.] When I tell you I’ve never been rizzed like that.”]

Yawnzzning (2y ago) the worst night of my life #Part3

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “Part three! Where was I? Right. I got rizzed by the library dude. We ended up hanging out for a while, and yes, he did cry with me. We were messy bitches on the grass. I think I stained his shirt with my tears and he didn’t even seem mad. Anyway, fast forward to a little later, and we’re flirting. He’s cute, I’m loving his energy, and he was pretty and let me cry about who knows what stupid shit. And then next thing I know we’re going to one of the empty bedrooms, and we’re getting a little frisky—is that alright to say on here? We’ll see I guess. We’re getting frisky! Oh, I should mention that before he told me that little crying thing, he told me I was ‘too pretty to cry’ and I’m nothing if not easy for a man that calls me pretty. [Laughs] He also said—[more laughing] he also said something like ‘if you’re crying about an ex, they didn’t deserve you anyway. If you’re crying about a grade, there will be other chances and academia is a scam anyway, and if you’re crying because you’re just drunk and emotional, when we can be drunk and emotional together.’ When I tell you I think my heart actually skipped a beat. Like, I think I fell in love right then and there. Anyway, we fooled around, and I passed out cold after, and when I wake up a couple hours later…when I wake up, tell me why this guy is hopping around the room trying to put my pants on?”]

Yawnzzning (2y ago) the worst night of my life #Part3

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “Part three! This got way longer than I thought it would. Ahh okay, so. Library dude is hopping around the room we were in—I think it was one of the guest rooms. The guy hosting was loaded, okay. Don’t judge me. I think this guy realized he was trying to put on the wrong pants halfway through, though. I guess his ankles felt breezy? [laugh] He got his own pants on though, so he eventually got it together. So, he’s scrambling to leave and my ass is so groggy all I could do was sit there and watch him panicking. Here’s where things get bad, okay. Here’s where my evening gets worse. So, this dude sees that I’m awake and watching him struggle to dress himself, and he freezes! He goes “Oh you woke up.” And then he goes on about how his friends are looking for him, how he has to go before they get mad, blah blah. He doesn’t even give me a chance to answer either! He just grabbed his shit and left! Literally left, and didn’t even close the door properly! Like a maniac! Keep in mind I’m still naked in this guest bedroom, so he could’ve at least closed the door! Anyway, I got my shit together and left too, obviously, and halfway home I realize, this isn’t my fucking jacket. [Yawnzzning holds up a limp green jacket, wiggles it around before settling it in his lap. He smiles deviously and leans forward into the camera.] Anyway, that was the worst night of my life. I’m mortified. I didn’t even get his number. I had the most mind-blowing sex of my life, and I don’t even have this guy’s number! Worst night of my life! I’d absolutely do it again. So, Choi Beomgyu, if you’re watching this, fucking call me. Or the jacket gets it.” [Wink with both eyes, and video cuts.]

-

As a general rule, Choi Beomgyu does not date blondes. Too many bad experiences with men with botched bleach jobs, and too many personal experiences with his own shitty blonde hair have left Beomgyu with a bad taste on his tongue at the thought of dating someone with the hair color. Nothing good ever comes from a man with blonde hair.

His coworkers agree—Wheein recalls her own encounters with exes that had gone blonde and her stories were bordering on traumatic. Beomgyu shudders at the possibility of those becoming his reality, though it’s low because Choi Beomgyu does not date blondes.

Beomgyu also doesn’t date men that don’t like cats. He had never thought he would ever have such strong feelings over the way men react to cats, but working at the Catfe had given him new perspectives he hadn’t considered before. Wheein said that cats were good judges of character, that you can tell a lot about a man in the way he treats them. She says a lot on this, and Beomgyu had tuned her out at first because he hadn’t really believed her, but her words made more and more sense to him as time went on. They made so much sense that Beomgyu had added ‘Must be good with cats’ to his mental checklist of dating requirements.

All rules have exceptions, though, and Beomgyu’s exception to this rule is this:

A calico so bitter that Beomgyu is sure she must have been spit directly out of hell. Whoever Vivienne liked must be made of the same unholy, evil material. Beomgyu would stride to never encounter the foul human that Vivienne deemed acceptable company.

“Vivienne, please.” Beomgyu pleads through gritted teeth and a forced calm voice—the back of his hand is bleeding from a shallow gash, courtesy of Miss Vivienne Westwood, unwed, the 6-year old domestic longhair calico with sharp claws that she has made her purpose to introduce Beomgyu to each time they meet each other. “I just need to clean your litter, and I can’t do that you’re sitting your whole ass on top of it. That’s disgusting, by the way. Why are you sitting in your own shit? Aren’t you supposed to be a lady?”

Vivienne hisses her displeasure at Beomgyu’s words, her ears pinned back flat against the top of her deceptively sweet, round little head. She squishes herself into an even tighter ball of hateful fur, right in the corner of the litter box inside the kennel. At first glance, Miss Vivienne Westwood looks like a sweet, loving little calico, maybe with a bit of an attitude as one would expect. She has these huge green eyes that give her face an almost kitten-like appearance despite her age, and the pinkest heart shaped nose Beomgyu has ever seen. By appearance alone, Vivienne the cat could be the perfect lap companion for a lucky person.

Beomgyu knows better, though. Beneath her cute, cuddly exterior lies the bitchiest attitude he has ever seen in a cat, and a deep rooted hatred towards anything that breathes. It puts a certain damper on any prospective adoptions that line up solely based on her cute face. Beomgyu has lost count of how many times Vivienne has taken a swipe at him in the six months that he has worked here, and she has been adopted and relinquished four times. The calico must’ve developed a personal vendetta against him because she is especially vicious to Beomgyu when it’s time for him to clean her litter box, or feed her, give her clean water…She hates Beomgyu interacting with her in any way, shape, or form.

If he were to try to explain this hatred, to rationalize it to himself, he would chalk it up to the one time he had complained about how the viral Vivienne Westwood necklace was tacky, and he didn’t understand the rave over a design like that.

“Don’t be like that.” Beomgyu coos at her, strained .”You already drew blood, see? The price has been paid. Let me clean your stupid litterbox.”

“I don’t think Miss Vivienne appreciates the way you speak to her.” One of his colleagues, Jung Wheein, pipes up. She’s squatting down to clean out the kennel of kittens the local shelter had brought to them for their fundraising event. One of the tuxedo kittens is rubbing itself along her ankle, tripping over itself when it runs out of ankle to rub and then circling around for another round. “Maybe if you’re nicer to her, she’ll end the blood feud.”

“Well, Miss Vivienne can fuck right off if a little crass language upsets her delicate sensibilities.” Beomgyu replies sweetly. Vivienne shifts around in the litter box, exposing the back of her neck just long enough for Beomgyu to reach in with his other gloved hand and grab her by the scruff. He uses his free hand to rip the little litterbox out as quickly and painlessly as possible. Vivienne yowls at him, and he really doesn’t like the way her back feet start to ready themselves to kick into his skin when he hastily releases her and shuts the kennel door.

She’s still just as angry when Beomgyu returns with a new, fresh litter box, but luckily this time all Beomgyu has to do is coax her into the corner of the kennel and shove the box inside. She hisses at him anyway.

Beomgyu loves his job, but Miss Vivienne Westwood singlehandedly makes him question if he really, truly wants to continue working at the cat café. He’d started working here six months ago, and it was the best timing. Back then, he had been crying almost nightly on the scuffed-up sofa they’d gotten second hand from Soobin’s grandma in their shared apartment because of Beomgyu’s house had been cut so much he might as well have been fired; Soobin had rubbed his back, supportive and kind, and had told him he needed to find a job soon because rent was too expensive for just him and Kai to pay by themselves. It had been a stroke of luck to spot the “We’re Hiring!” sign plastered to the window of the Calico Cate (complete with a doodled drawing of a few cats in the corner), and it was even luckier that they had hired Beomgyu quickly. Rent money was hard to make when you were unemployed, after all.

Beomgyu had interviewed well, and they had hired him to start the following Monday. He'd shown up fifteen minutes before his training shift began, and though Beomgyu had been stupid enough to wear black denim pants on his first day at work, things had gone well. Six months later, Beomgyu does not wear anything black to work, and he thinks he has a good grasp now of how to keep this place floating even while short-staffed. Hell, he'd made it to the employee status of being liked enough and reliable enough by now that the managers didn't mind if he played around a little more than was strictly necessary. Sometimes, if Beomgyu had a particularly bad day, he was allowed to hang in the back and just keep the sectioned off area for the cats cleaned, and kept the cats that were adjusting company.

Today wasn’t a bad day, though. Today, Beomgyu was in particularly high spirits. He’d passed his exam that had been looming over his head for weeks now, and he looked and felt particularly good today. When Beomgyu felt he looked good, his days tended to go smoother than the days he felt he looked crappy.

So, even though Beomgyu had been forced to deal with Miss Vivienne Westwood’s foul attitude, Beomgyu is in high enough spirits that he doesn’t mind handling the front counter by himself while his coworkers handle other things in the backrooms. The shift is almost over, anyway. The Catfe closes at 6pm every day, and it’s currently 5:21pm.

The Catfe is set up in two separate areas: the main lobby area, where the majority of drinks and snacks are hosted, and the Catio. The Catio lies beyond a plexiglass screen to prevent the animals from crossing over into the areas they aren't meant to go into, but still gives a clear view of who the adoptable creatures are. Beomgyu thought it was quite clever when he was told about it. The booths and tables that the patrons sit at decorate one side, and cat-trees and climbing shelves furnish the other side. The owner of the catfe said it was to properly show off the personalities of the cats present, and well, Beomgyu supposes that deciding on a cat is a lot easier if you can see if the cat is the type to lounge like a little lump on a cat tree, or the type to dart across the wall like a maniac. The front desk is situated directly before the catio glass, with a side entrance that is strictly employees only. Any potential adopters need to specially request the staff on hand to meet the cats and be escorted to either the catio, or a separate room to see if they bond with the cat.

It's nearly empty in the main lobby, only an elderly couple in a booth enjoying a cup of coffee together, and someone on their laptop that keeps glancing over longingly at the Catio. Something Beomgyu has grown to love about his job is the soothing atmosphere they’ve curated for the clients, and thus, the employees. It’s a bit of a struggle to find people to adopt all of the cats they take in, but Beomgyu supposes there has to be hardships in every business.

He settles in for a quiet closing shift.

The bell chimes above the door, signaling another customer walking in. Beomgyu checks the clock—5:43pm.

Choi Yeonjun peers around the Catfe as the door gently shuts behind him, his eyes wide and searching. Like every patron, his eyes grow wide and eager when he spots the Catio, and the small gaggle of cats that are milling around soaking in the waning rays of the afternoon sun for their naps. Then, Yeonjun looks to the front counter where Beomgyu is cleaning the steamer, and he smiles and waves a little. Automatically, Beomgyu waves back, and the rush of steam that hits him startles him so much he jumps back with a swear. He’d been stupid enough to release the thing before he’d turned it back off.

Beomgyu swears again, hastily cleaning up before he goes to where the chuckling senior waits patiently at the front desk.

With a polite smile, Beomgyu greets Yeonjun. “Hey. I didn’t think you’d actually come back. I thought you were kind of agreeing with me to shut me up.”

Another laugh from Yeonjun, a little nervous this time. “No, I wasn’t—I wouldn’t do that.”

Beomgyu nods as if he agrees, but really, he doesn’t know enough about Yeonjun to know whether or not he’s the type of guy  to joke like that or not. It’s not that he thinks Yeonjun is rude, per se, but he doesn’t have a lot to go off of to say whether he is nice or not.

“You’re a bit late, though, if you wanted to see Vivienne.” He can’t help but tease. “We close soon.”

“Ah, that’s alright. I just wanted to stop by.”

He’s in a skirt today, Beomgyu notices. It’s a long denim one with a slit along one side, and Yeonjun had paired it with a loosely fitted white button-down he’d partially tucked into the waistline. The bleached blond strands of his hair is pushed back from his forehead, but not styled. It’s like he’d run his hands through his hair too many times.

“What can I get for you today?” Beomgyu asks, smiling. “It has to be to go, though. Sorry.”

Yeonjun’s voice is soft when he finally orders. “That’s fine. Iced-Americano, please.” Yeonjun asks, and then rattles off the size when Beomgyu prompts for it. As he grabs the cup and readies himself to make the drink, Yeonjun searches for his wallet. The elderly couple start to leave, hand in hand. The student, too, starts to pack away their laptop. Beomgyu gets to work.

“Shit.” Yeonjun mutters, prompting Beomgyu to glance up from where he’d started to write the other boy’s name on the cup. Yeonjun’s face is red, and he won’t meet Beomgyu’s eyes. “Shit, I’m so sorry. Please, just cancel that order. I think I left my wallet back home. I’m so sorry, I could’ve sworn I brought it with me today.”

Yeonjun runs his fingers through his hair, expression pinched with frustration.

Beomgyu blinks, speaking before he has the chance to think things through. “It’s fine. I’ll cover it for you.”

For a moment, both boys blink, equally stunned at Beomgyu’s words. Yeonjun gathers his wits first, licking his very pink lips that Beomgyu refuses to look at longer. “What?”

“It’s on the house today.” Beomgyu repeats, somewhat reluctantly now because why is he offering his own money for this guy? “Just the Americano, right?”

Yeonjun starts to shake his head, visibly growing flustered. “Oh, no. It’s okay. You really don’t have to.”

“Is it just the americano?” Beomgyu repeats stubbornly. Who does this guy think he is to turn down free coffee?

“Yeah, but really—”

“It’s on the house.” Beomgyu cuts him off, pressing a button on the register that submits the order. He mentally reminds himself to add the cost from his wallet before cashing out the till later. “Yeonjun, right? For the name?”

Yeonjun gapes at him, still red with embarrassment. He doesn’t seem to have caught the stupidity of Beomgyu’s question, like he doesn’t know who Choi Yeonjun is. Aside from the generally well-known presence of the older guy, there’s still that brief little moment they’d shared at that house party forever ago. Yeonjun probably doesn’t even remember it, and Beomgyu fondly remembers it as the first night he’d really felt like a proper university student. Beomgyu is well aware of Yeonjun’s name.

Yeonjun nods.

“Cool.” He writes it onto the cup. “I’ll have this out in a couple of minutes.”

The bell chimes again as the student leaves the café, leaving just Beomgyu and Yeonjun in the lobby. It’s quiet as Beomgyu gets the order ready. When he hands over the plastic cup, Yeonjun starts to thank him profusely, cradling it in his hands like it’s something holy. Beomgyu feels a little better about the money he spent on it now, at least.

He brushes off the gratitude with a teasing smile. “You can pay me back next time if you’re so grateful.”

And Yeonjun immediately agrees. “Absolutely. Next time, I’ll buy you coffee.”

“Sure. You can treat me next time, as long as you don’t forget your wallet again.”

“Right.” He’s growing redder—maybe Beomgyu shouldn’t have brought up his blunder. Was it too soon? “Right, yeah. Next time, I’ll treat you.”

Beomgyu nods, politely. Yeonjun opens his mouth again, like he’s about to say something, and then closes it. He fidgets a little nervously. “Actually, about that. I was wondering—”

There’s a crash from the back. Beomgyu jumps about three feet into the air when there’s a loud clatter that follows it, and some shouts. Even Yeonjun looks shaken when Beomgyu glances at him, his eyes fixed on the employee only door. Beomgyu hastily goes to it, and the yelling gets more frantic.

“Close the door!” Wheein shrieks, but it’s too late. Beomgyu has yanked open the door, and something small and dense bumps into his ankles as it zips out from the back of the shop. He jumps back, tracking the moving shape with his eyes, barely hearing the panicked groans that catch up to him as he tries to make sense of what the hell is happening.

“Why’d you open the door!” Shouts Beomgyu’s manager, to which Beomgyu instinctively shouts back, “I thought someone was dying back there!”

“Well, now she’s out!”

The dreaded ‘she’ was Miss Vivienne Fucking Westwood herself, in all her six-pound, fluffy glory, skittering across the linoleum flooring to one of the booths, where she promptly disappears. Beomgyu can only watch, forlorn, as the last of her fluffy tail disappears under the seats where she has no doubt hunkered herself down, and lament the smooth closing he had been hoping for.

“Fucking Vivienne.” Beomgyu curses, and for once, his coworkers chorus their own agreements with him. Usually, they were fooled by her cute face, but Beomgyu knows that Vivienne is some hellish spawn come to torment him.

“What was that?” Yeonjun asks. Beomgyu had forgotten about him.

He can’t keep the frustration out of his voice. “That was Vivienne Westwood’s attempted mad dash to freedom.”

It's kind of pathetic, in hindsight, that a group of three workers trained to work with cats can't coax out a single, tiny cat from the booth, but that's the reality of the situation. Miss Vivienne Westwood has bested them, all of them, because no matter what they do, the only result they get in trying to coax her out is scratches, and after ten minutes have passed in failed attempts and two employees are near frustrated tears, Beomgyu sighs and says, "Can you guys grab the gloves from the back? I'll keep an eye on her while you get them. She's not going to come out voluntarily."

They nod miserably, and leave like defeated soldiers. Beomgyu sighs and sits before the booth, leaning down enough to make eye contact with the calico cowering in the corner. She hisses at him and pushes herself deeper into her corner, and Beomgyu just sighs again.

"You're a bitch, do you know that?" Beomgyu tells Vivienne Westwood, and the cat simply hisses at him again, albeit softer this time. "From the bottom of my heart, I want you to know that you're a bitch."

“Um…” Yeonjun clears his throat, far closer to where Beomgyu is internally cursing this cat’s entire spiteful bloodline on the floor than he had expected. “Can I help?”

It's almost instinct to say no but Beomgyu hesitates and asks, "Actually, yeah. can you make sure she doesn't go anywhere while I go get the keys to lock up? I don't want to risk anyone else coming in."

Yeonjun wordlessly takes a seat beside Beomgyu, curiously peering below the booth. Beomgyu knows the moment Yeonjun spots Vivienne because Yeonjun coos, and he says, "Oh, you're so cute! Hello!"

"She's really, really not." Beomgyu grumbles, but gets up. Maybe Yeonjun will learn what a bitch she is after all when she scratches him for the offense of breathing within her vicinity. He hurries behind the counter and goes to the door, going through the motions of locking up, and Yeonjun giggles at something Beomgyu doesn't see. 

When he's all done, Beomgyu looks and he can't warn Yeonjun before he sees him reach into the booth slowly, hand outstretched. "Oh, wait! You really shouldn't! She's not friendly!"

Yeonjun just softly laughs, and reaches closer, and there's a distinct lack of hissing. Beomgyu is too stunned to warn Yeonjun again by the little pink nose that just barely peeks out from beneath the booth to meet Yeonjun's hand, and the way Yeonjun visibly melts as it touches the tip of his outstretched finger. 

"Your nose is so pink!" Yeonjun croons in a barely contained whisper, looking too much like an overexcited child. "So cute!"

The said pink nose keeps sniffing his hand, and still, there's no hiss, and Beomgyu can only gape, open mouthed, and the beginning of Vivienne's little snout comes through. Vivienne creeps out a step, rubbing her little cheek against Yeonjun's finger, and Yeonjun just melts further.

Beomgyu says, in a horrified whisper, "What the fuck, Vivienne?"

The pink nose disappears back into the booth, and the back door suddenly flies open as two employees tumble out. "We found the gloves!"

"Oh." Yeonjun's expression falls from the lovestruck daze to a disappointed pout, and Beomgyu can only gape at him. "No, come back. I'm sorry. C'mere, cutie."

"Who's that?" Asks coworker one, blinking at Yeonjun who suddenly notices the attention on him and glances up, his cheeks pink.

"I'm Yeonjun." He introduces, waving a little. "Sorry, I walked in and Beomgyu said I could help by sitting here."

"Oh, you're Beomgyu's friend?" Asks Coworker two curiously.

Beomgyu says, "Yeah," at the same time as Yeonjun says, "Kinda?"

They get weird looks but don't clarify anything. 

Instead, what Beomgyu does is say, “How did you do that?” to Yeonjun.

He looks up, surprised. “How did I do what?”

“That!” Beomgyu gestures broadly toward the cat. “Coax her out? She hates everything!”

Yeonjun starts to look skeptical, and uncomfortable. “She’s a sweetheart.”

“She’s a bitch.” All three workers deadpan, and then look at each other.

Yeonjun starts to look offended on Vivienne Westwood’s behalf. “Maybe she can sense that you hate her.”

“Good.” Beomgyu says decisively. “She’s made it very clear she doesn’t like me. I want her to know it’s mutual.”

The offense settles in the lines of Yeonjun’s face. Beomgyu meets his gaze stubbornly, and from behind him, there’s a clearing of a throat.

“Hey, so…can we get her out now? I really just want to go home.”

Beomgyu sighs and holds out a hand. “I’ll do it. I’m used to handling her like this.”

Yeonjun watches the way Beomgyu puts on the thick, leather gloves and when Beomgyu starts to brace himself, Yeonjun says, “Can I try?”

Beomgyu arches a brow and then shrugs. “Yeah, sure. Get scratched, but don’t blame the company for it.”

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. He gestures for the trio to move back, and with a final glance, they move towards the back door. From there, Beomgyu leans with his arms folded across his chest and waits with an “I-Told-You-So” on the tip of his tongue when the other guy finally gets scratched.

Yeonjun, meanwhile, crouches back down and once again offers his hand. Beomgyu can’t see Vivienne from this angle, but he hears a distinct lack of growling. He doesn’t see her pink nose yet.

Yeonjun blows little kisses at the cat, holding his hand out. “C’mere pretty girl. I don’t think you’re evil, I promise.”

It takes several minutes of just standing there and Yeonjun just waiting before he scooches closer, and his hand goes even further. Still no yelp of pain, though. Another few minutes pass, in which Yeonjun coos at the cat in a soft, sweet tone, and then Beomgyu sees it—the pink little nose sniffing at Yeonjun’s outstretched finger. Slowly, Vivienne Westwood creeps out from the booth, her head making an appearance tentatively. Vivienne looks at Yeonjun wearily, but then rubs her cheek against his finger again, jumping back when he twitches. He apologizes softly and then she keeps creeping out, her body slunk close to the floor.

When half her body is out, Beomgyu can’t see her anymore, blocked off by the way Yeonjun shifts. He coos some more, praises Miss Vivienne like he’s being paid commission for each praise, and Beomgyu starts to roll his eyes. His coworkers shuffle awkwardly, because they should really be cleaning and they have already taken too long, and Beomgyu starts to sigh. They all exchange looks, trying to silently nudge each other to go interrupt this stranger trying to coax out their most temperamental resident, and after a silent conversation with their eyes and gestures, it is decided that Beomgyu has to do it since they’re friends.

Beomgyu sighs, turning back to Yeonjun, and his mouth drops when he finds the blond boy is starting so slowly stand up, body curled around something. He turns, and it’s with a broad, face scrunching smile as he awkwardly holds Miss Vivienne Fucking Westwood, the most temperamental calico Beomgyu has ever seen, in his arms.

She’s scrunched in the most uncomfortable ‘C’ shape Beomgyu has ever seen, and her tail is curled up into her belly, but she’s not hissing. She’s not growling. She’s just staring with big, wide eyes around her as Yeonjun absentmindedly strokes his finger along her cheek to soothe her.

“What the fuck?” says Beomgyu, stunned.

Yeonjun’s smile is far too pleased with himself. “See? She just senses that I’m pure of heart, unlike you lot.”

Beomgyu peers at the calico—she’s not purring, and she’s not content, but there’s a distinct lack of hostility to her. Vivienne is not people friendly—she’s a shy, skittish little old lady. She doesn’t like to be handled, and she tends to slink away from the friendlier cats that come up to her. When she sees Beomgyu, she always hisses and hides.

However, cradled incorrectly in Yeonjun’s arms, Vivienne looks the happier Beomgyu has ever seen her, and though her tail is swishing in agitation when she spots the trio that stare with gaping mouths at her, she doesn’t try to bite Yeonjun. She doesn’t squirm. She looks, dare Beomgyu say, pleasant.

“So…” Yeonjun speaks again into the awkward silence, shifting his weight on his feet. “Where do I take her?”

The Devil, Beomgyu decides. Yeonjun is the actual Devil, an incarnation of evil itself. There’s no other explanation for why the hellspawn that is Vivienne Westwood would act like a pleasant, sweet little cat for Yeonjun except for him having stepped off the throne of hell before stepping into this very café to collect his hellspawn. Beomgyu should have known—Yeonjun is blond. Nothing good ever comes from a man with blonde hair.

Beomgyu’s coworkers direct Yeonjun to the back, and lead him to Viviennes kennel. When he passes by the trio, Vivienne swivels her head around and her big green eyes and opens her mouth in a small, barely there hiss at them, but doesn’t do anything else. She doesn’t make a single noise, or commit a single act of violence, and when Yeonjun is carefully depositing her back into her kennel, patting her gently on the top of her head as he releases her, she doesn’t immediately whirl around and swat at him.

Instead, Vivienne takes a single step forward before Yeonjun closes the gate with a small frown on his lips, and when she finds the metal bars in between her and actual Satan, Vivienne gives the most pitiful, wounded mew. Come back, she almost seems to say.

Evil. Yeonjun is pure, horrific evil. Pure of heart, Beomgyu’s ass. Yeonjun’s heart is filled with vile, horrific things to have won over the heart of six pounds of spite and hate that is Vivienne Westwood.

Yawnzzning has followed Bamgyuuu!

Yeonjun finds himself getting ambushed the next time he goes into the Calico Catfe. The bell above the door barely has time to chime before Beomgyu and two employees are rushing at him, wearing grins far too wide for comfort. For a moment, Yeonjun feels the irrational urge to turn around and walk far, far away from the Catfe simply off the principle that people he doesn’t know being too excited to meet him is usually a bad sign.

Beomgyu is the one that speaks, rocking on the heels of his feet his arms behind his back innocently. “I’m so glad you’re here. Your best friend misses you.”

Yeonjun is experiencing a strange sense of deja vu. “What?”

“Vivienne.” Beomgyu explains, still not making any sense. “The cat that you helped catch the other day.”

Realization washes over him. Yeonjun finds himself smiling at the memory of the soft, fluffy cat from the last time he’d been here. The poor thing had been visibly terrified. “Oh, the cutie. What about her?”

“She misses you.” Says the girl to Beomgyu’s left. Her smile is a little less maniacal, but not any less reassuring. “You left quite the impression on our dear Miss Vivienne Westwood.”

“Her name is Vivienne Westwood?” Yeonjun laughs. The nods he receives as confirmation make him laugh harder. “Oh, that’s even cuter. I’m glad she liked me.”

“She adored you.” Chimes in the third coworker.

“She’s been in mourning since the last time you were here.” The two coworkers Yeonjun still doesn’t know the name of nod to each other like this makes sense. "

Beomgyu’s smile wavers a little, but he keeps it up. “Yeah, Yeonjun. Your best friend misses you.”

Yeonjun finds himself escorted without another word through the employee’s only door, feeling vaguely threatened and very much like he’s being kidnapped. Being escorted somewhere without his permission flanked by three people has that effect on people.

The back of the Catfe is a long, brightly lit hallway with giant pawprints painted on the walls. The trio of workers escort Yeonjun quickly through the hall to the very last room, where Yeonjun starts to frown. A loud, pitiful cry echoes through the clean hallway, and as soon as he enters the room lined with racks of sterile animal kennels, Yeonjun sees the source.

The fluffy calico cat—Miss Vivienne Westwood, he reminds with no small amount of amusement—is wailing behind the bars of the kennel in the far back wall. Yeonjun’s chest pangs at the sound, his feet carrying him to the kennel and already near tears. Yeonjun has always been an easy crier, but he dares anyone with a heart to listen to the sad meows coming from the kennel and not feel a little choked up.

“Oh, honey.” Yeonjun says in a soft voice he hasn’t heard from himself before. “What are they doing to you to sound so sad, hmm?”

Vivienne Westwood’s ears perk up the moment she heard Yeonjun speaking to her. It’s too cute not to feel a thick lump in his throat. Yeonjun swallows it back. He will not cry about how cute this cat is.

Vivienne starts to rub her body along the bars, circling around and stepping onto the tips of her dainty paws when Yeonjun pokes a finger to stroke her fur. Another little meow comes from her, higher in pitch than before and shorter. It sounds like more of a chirp this time.

The sound of a short scuffle briefly breaks Yeonjun’s attention from the cat. He looks over his shoulder to where Beomgyu’s two coworkers are shoving him forward, and Beomgyu is shaking his head. The trio pause when they catch Yeonjun’s eye, and then the other boy shoves Beomgyu forward.

“We have to check on the lobby.” He says, and then he drags out the girl.

Left alone with Beomgyu, Yeonjun finds his words suddenly dying on the tip of his tongue. All he can do is shift his attention back to Vivienne Westwood, and try to focus on the soft rumble of her body rather than the way Choi Beomgyu’s hair has been tied up and back into a half-up ponytail.

Yeonjun valiantly does not think about the wisps of hair that fall around his face, nor does he think about how Beomgyu absentmindedly pushes them away. He’s stronger than this.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Beomgyu asks awkwardly behind him.

It takes everything in Yeonjun to react like a normal person. “Of course.”

The other boy shuffles in place for a moment where he stands behind Yeonjun, then he sighs. “Do you think you could help me feed her? She hasn’t been wanting to eat much since you last saw her. I think she’s hunger striking.”

Immediately, Yeonjun agrees, and once again he finds himself herded into a new room, except this time he sits cross-legged on the floor with a small dish in front of him. Beomgyu fusses with a carrier he’d brought in shortly after situating Yeonjun in the room, and sets it down. He hands a small tin over, as well. He doesn’t quite know what’s going on until Beomgyu starts giving him instructions.

“I’m going to feed the other cats in the other room, so I’ll be within earshot if you need something. All you have to do is sit here and try to coax Vivienne into eating something? Wheein told me that’s her favorite food, and you’re apparently her favorite person, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Um.” Yeonjun can’t help but speak up. “Are you allowed to be leaving me alone with the cat?”

“Probably not.” Beomgyu rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “But it’s fine. Just try not to spook her and she probably won’t scratch you—If she does, you wouldn’t sue us, would you?” He pouts at Yeonjun who immediately denies that with a shake of his head. “See? It’s all good then. Good luck!”

And then Beomgyu leaves, and Yeonjun is left alone with a cat softly meowing in a little carrier, and a tin of cat food in the small room he’d been escorted to.

With a sigh, Yeonjun does what is asked. He releases the latch of the carrier and opens the door up, and then pours the canned cat food into the dish. When Vivienne slowly comes out and sniffs the air, slinking low to the ground as she starts to dig into her meal, Yeonjun settles in to wait.

The next time he comes to the Catfe, hoping to grab an americano and then head to meet up with some friends after saying a quick hello to Beomgyu, he’s once again ushered into the same room, with the same can of cat food, and the same instructions. This time, when Vivienne finishes eating, she starts to sniff around Yeonjun’s knee, and eventually rubs herself over it. It’s unfairly cute, and Yeonjun can’t help carefully stroking the top of her head.

She almost trips over herself to lean into the touch.

“Are you really being as dramatic as they say you are?” Yeonjun asks her with a shake of his head. “You’re too sweet to be so stubborn, aren’t you?”

Vivienne, of course, doesn’t answer. She just keeps circling back to rub on his knee, to the point where cat hair begins to collect on the denim of his jeans. He’s going to have to get that off later.

Yeonjun very carefully moves to pick up the cat, earning himself a low little mrrp sound he hadn’t expected to come from her and makes him chuckle to himself, cradling the cat to his chest. Vivienne’s claws dig into his stomach a little where she rests her back feet for stability, but he doesn't mind when a soft, soothing rumble starts up.

“You’re so cute.” Yeonjun coos at her, booping her little nose and leaning back. She makes herself comfortable as Yeonjun does the same. Beomgyu hasn’t come back yet, and he’s feeling oddly at ease here with Vivienne purring on his chest. It’s a little odd how quickly she’s warmed up to him, but Yeonjun won’t complain. He knows Taehyun had mentioned cats not really being stranger friendly, but maybe Vivienne was different. She seemed friendly enough as she kneaded her paws against his collarbones, digging her sharp nails into his skin a little.

With a wince, Yeonjun tries to pull her off of him, only earning himself another soft sound and her little paws kneading at the air when he holds her a little away from himself.

Yeonjun knows he’s melting. Vivienne’s big green eyes bear into his soul, and she must like what she sees because she squirms until Yeonjun allows her to rest again. The nails digging into his skin is a small sacrifice for this moment of peace.

He brings a hand up to absentmindedly stroke along her back, gently, like Taehyun had taught him with his own cat a year ago. “What do you think? Am I a catch? You seem to like me well enough.”

Vivienne just purrs, and Yeonjun can only sigh. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

The next time, Beomgyu greets Yeonjun with a beaming smile and an iced americano in hand when he starts to usher Yeonjun back into the room. “She’s been crying for you every time you leave.”

He feels a rush of guilt. “She’s been crying still?”

Beomgyu looks back over his shoulder at him, and panics when he seems to catch on to the way Yeonjun looks like he’s on the verge of tears. “Well—”

Yeonjun can hear the aforementioned crying and he doesn’t wait for Beomgyu to escort him this time to the back room. He just goes straight to Vivienne and gently unlatches the kennel door, catching her when she stumbles forward. She’d been standing on her hind legs reaching out her paws through the bars, meowing loudly, and Yeonjun feels his resolve crumble to dust. He strokes her head gently and even presses a kiss to the top of it for the first time, and when Beomgyu makes a small noise behind him, Yeonjun’s face burns.

“You know…” Beomgyu starts conversationally. “You could just adopt her.”

Maybe if it were any other situation, Yeonjun would say no. He would remind Beomgyu that he doesn’t have anything ready for a cat, that he’s never had a cat in his life—Taehyun doesn’t count—or that he has never even considered himself a cat person at all. Sure, they’re cute, but Yeonjun has never considered living with one.

However, Vivienne Westwood the cat is purring in his arms, and he has formed an unfortunate emotional attachment to her, and Yeonjun feels like if he doesn’t adopt her and someone else does, he will have to nurse a broken heart for the rest of his life.

 “I’ve never had a cat before.” Yeonjun admits instead of saying what’s really on his mind.

The other boy frowns. “Seriously? But…I would have guessed you have a lot of experience. Or at least are familiar with cats.”

“I’m familiar with Taehyun.” Yeonjun corrects without thinking, flushing to the roots of his hair as Beomgyu gives him a questioning look. “Sorry. He has a cat. He tells me a lot about him.”

That, and Kang Taehyun was distinctly cat-like in his mannerisms. The way he clings to Yeonjun is reminiscent of the way Hobak cuddles up to Taehyun when he comes home and Yeonjun only knows this because Taehyun sends videos to the private chat between him and Yeonjun. There’s also the loud little sounds Taehyun makes when he’s excited that he can only describe as a cross between a scream, and a purr. Combined with the slightly pointed incisors that make Taehyun look like he has the tiniest fangs, Yeonjun’s younger friend is too catlike not to compare.

Beomgyu probably doesn’t want to hear about Kang Taehyun’s part-time likeness to cats, and Yeonjun feels a little embarrassed to try to explain his logic.

Slowly, Beomgyu nods. “Oh. Well, he can be a good resource then. If you think you’d want to bring Vivienne home.”

The thing is that Yeonjun really, really wants to bring Vivienne home. He’s known her for such a short time, but he thinks he might be irreversibly fond of the cat. It had been a mistake to come back, just like he had told Taehyun. Yeonjun’s heart was too weak to say no to taking home the first cat that had been cute to him.

Yeonjun nods sheepishly. “I want to take her home.”

Beomgyu beams. He’s so happy Yeonjun’s heart pangs, and all he can do is hold Vivienne just a little tighter for emotional support. She protests a little but ultimately decides not to dig her claws into Yeonjun more than is necessary, and the next thing Yeonjun knows, he’s filling out a small stack of paperwork and pulling out his wallet to pay the adoption fee.

Meanwhile, Vivienne waits in a soft-walled cat carrier Beomgyu had plucked her into, meowing very loudly in protest at being confined.

“Okay, so. We’ll send you home with a little bit of the food we’ve been giving her so she can adjust if you want to switch her food out. Just make sure you do it gradually. You’re sure your apartment allows pets?” Beomgyu waits for Yeonjun to nod again, then beams. “Cool. Once you pay the adoption fee, you should be all set. And, you get a complimentary reusable cup!”

He presents the said cup with a flourish, setting it on the counter Yeonjun filled the paperwork out in with a big grin. Yeonjun can’t stop himself from smiling even if he’d wanted to. Beomgyu had started vibrating with excited energy the moment Yeonjun had agreed to adopting Vivienne. He’d assumed the process would be longer, but Beomgyu had quickly waved his concerns off. Yeonjun’s application was streamlined.

“You’re the only one who has wanted to adopt her, actually.” Beomgyu casually shrugged when Yeonjun had asked about what he would tell other people, and had casually teased about favoritism. “She’s been returned before too, four times. Full disclosure, Vivienne was surrendered because her first owner couldn’t afford to keep her anymore. She was raised by the owner from kittenhood, so you can imagine how scared she was.” Beomgyu had frowned at this, and Yeonjun had exercised every ounce of self control in his body not to cry at this knowledge. “Her first adoption returned her because she wasn’t adjusting to the home at all, and apparently had litter box issues. Her second returned her because she kept fighting with the other house cats. The other two barely made it through signing the papers before Vivienne scratched them, or bit them, and they had us throw their applications away.”

Yeonjun had actually cried a little then, hastily wiping at his eyes when Beomgyu gave him a weird look and then rushed to reassure, “She wasn’t attached to those two adopters, though! I think they just wanted her because she was cute, but I can tell she really likes you!”

For some reason, Yeonjun got the feeling that it had pained Beomgyu greatly to say that. It’s in the strain in his words, the way his smile twitches. He didn’t comment on it though, because he had already started to file the paperwork through blurry vision and a throb in his chest. Vivienne’s had such a hard time! She doesn’t deserve being given the hope of getting a home only to have it snatched away. Yeonjun imagines himself in Vivienne’s place, imagines that he has only ever known one home and one parent, and suddenly being surrendered to a new environment with strangers. Yeonjun would be terrified, and Vivienne must be, too. He thinks if he had been taken home and surrendered as often as Vivienne had, he too might be a little more hesitant.

Vivienne Westwood deserves better than that. She deserves a home, and love, and safety, and Yeonjun decides he will be the one to provide it.

“Well. Congratulations.” says the younger boy as soon as the last of the paperwork is finalized. Yeonjun is handed a purple folder that he opens up to find contains Vivienne’s medical history, and his official proof of adoption. “She’s all yours. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but I hope we never have to see her again.”

Yeonjun laughs a little, unsure if that was the right reaction. There’s a lightness in his chest, and a bit of a surreal feeling of floating when realizes he’s not leaving empty handed today. Vivienne’s loud complaints make the feeling that much more intense.

Dizzy from the euphoria of the adoption—and who knew that getting a pet could make Yeonjun’s head swim this way?—Yeonjun feels himself feeling a little braver. He feels the knots of anxiety that usually stop his words ease just a little, and he asks.

“Hey, Beomgyu.” Yeonjun asks.

Beomgyu hums, not looking up from where he’s starting to file away the Catfe’s copy of the paperwork in the filing cabinet. “Yeah?”

“Can I have your number?”

Beomgyu’s head whips around quickly, staring wide eyed to Yeonjun. “What? Why?”

The floating feeling starts to ebb a little from Beomgyu’s reaction. Still, Yeonjun realizes he’s already opened his big mouth, so now he has to commit. “Um…well…”

His tongue twists under the force of Beomgyu’s wide, brown eyes. There’s skepticism starting to settle in them, the lines of his face starting to form a displeased frown. Yeonjun blurts, “In case I need help.”

Just like that, Beomgyu’s expression eases. He snickers. “What do you mean?”

It’s too late to back down now, and Yeonjun realizes the bravery he’d felt before is starting to wane. “I said I’ve never had a cat before. What if I suck at it and need to ask questions?”

Another laugh, and a shake of his head, but Beomgyu holds his hand out. It takes Yeonjun a moment of stupidly staring at Beomgyu to realize what he’s asking for and to scramble to hand over his phone, watching Beomgyu tap away at the screen. When he hands it back, there’s a new chat log opened and a single message of ‘Choi Yeonjun’ sent to the number.

“Right.” Beomgyu laughs. “I can offer my expertise, no problem.”

Yeonjun leaves the Calico Catfe that day with Miss Vivien Westwood, now Miss Vivienne Westwood Choi, and Choi Beomgyu’s contact information in his phone.

It’s a good day.

-

Yawnznning posted a new video! So…i’m a father now:)

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: “Everyone, say hello to my child! This is Miss Vivienne Westwood Choi. I’ve only had her for an hour, but if anything were to happen to her I would end everyone in this room and then myself.” [Vivienne Westwood meows. Yawnzzning tears up. He picks up the cat under her arms and lifts her up to his face.] “I would do anything for you, do you hear me? Anything. I’d kill a man for you. Just say the word.”]

Comment from solomyun: hyung what is that

Reply from Yawnzzning: a cat!:D

Comment from solomyun: obviously that’s a cat but why is there a cat in your living room…

Reply from Yawnzzning: this is my child. I am a father

Comment from solomyun: YOU ADOPTED A CAT WITHOUT ME? JUST SAY YOU HATE ME AND GO

Reply from Yawnzzning: wait i’m sorry will you forgive me if i let you come over to pet her

Comment from solomyun: its funny that you think i’m not already halfway to your place.

Comment from woooooooyung: oh my god ur a mother now

Reply from Yawnzzning: I’M A FATHER

Comment from woooooooyung: ok mom

Reply from Yawnzzning: i’ll block you

TWO

“So.” Wooyoung, San, and Taehyun sit spread out around Yeonjun’s living room, all three surprisingly still for the situation. They’re staring at Yeonjun who sits with his head in his hands, mortification burning in his gut as a gentle jingle fills the silence. Vivienne is batting a worm around the living room, uncaring of the atmosphere of the room.

It’s been seven hours since Yeonjun has officially brought home Vivienne Westwood the cat, and she has acclimated to his apartment much faster than the internet had claimed she would. Yeonjun had expected Vivienne to hide under his sofa, and had readied himself for an evening trying to coax out the skittish cat for a meal, and had instead been greeted with Vivienne rubbing herself along his ankles the second she took a step out of the carrier, stretching her body out languidly. She’d been walking between his ankles since then, and Yeonjun had needed to pick her up when he answered the door to his incoming guests lest he worry she would dart out.

Taehyun had taken one look at the cat in Yeonjun’s arms and had visibly melted, his eyes glittering and his mouth open in the biggest smile he had, the one that showed his sharp little teeth. “Oh my god, she’s so cute.”

Wooyoung had experienced a similar response, except Wooyoung tended to feel cuteness aggression of the highest caliber so Yeonjun had had to twist around to put his back between Vivienne and Wooyoung’s twitching hands before he did something stupid like try to aggressively rub her cheeks the way he sometimes does to Yeonjun. He faces the brunt of Wooyoung’s punches on his back. San, though, looked close to tears when he’d seen Vivienne and had very softly asked if he could pet her.

And then they had all settled in Yeonjun’s living room, watching Vivienne do her thing and explore.

“You adopted a cat.” San concludes for Wooyoung.

“After you explicitly said you wouldn’t.” Taehyun pointed out unhelpfully.

“I know.” Yeonjun whines, burying his face deeper into his hands. “I know! I don’t know what happened.”

“I thought you were going there to scope out Beomgyu, not a new roommate.” Wooyoung mocks.

Yeonjun can’t even dignify that with a proper response, not when he thinks about the bright way Beomgyu had smiled at him as Yeonjun took Vivienne home. He really hadn’t been visiting the Catfe as often as he did to adopt a new friend—he had gone as often as he had to have his few moments with Beomgyu. He’d been trying to work up the nerve to ask him on a proper date each time, but always failing before the words could come out.

Yeonjun knows his defense is weak before he even finishes saying it. “I did get his number…”

“Yeah? Was it before or after you became a father?”

“After…” Yeonjun mumbles, then groans loudly into his hands. Something warm rubs against his leg as he does so. Vivienne has abandoned her worm toy to once again coil around Yeonjun’s ankles. He absentmindedly reaches down to pet her. “In my defense, nobody else wanted her!”

Taehyun makes an upset sound, which Yeonjun can relate to. “Why not? She’s so sweet.”

“She’s not people friendly.” Yeonjun echoed the warnings he’d received and hadn’t believed. “Apparently.”

“She seems plenty friendly to me.” San chirps, clicking his tongue to get Vivienne’s attention. Her ears prick up but she doesn’t so much as turn her head to San, too engrossed in her mission to rub her cheeks into Yeonjun’s shin to bother dignifying the others with her attention.

“I can’t believe you got a cat without me.” Taehyun says for the fourth time that night. “Seriously. You even told me you weren’t going back!”

“Well! I lied!”

“Obviously.”

Vivienne seems to grow bored of Yeonjun’s shins and goes back to her exploring.

-

It started with Wooyoung’s innocuous comment, delivered to Yeonjun unwanted on Sunday evening while Yeonjun poured over his editing app for his next upload.

“Do you think maybe you’re the problem?”

It had made Yeonjun pause, slowly turning to look at Wooyoung. They were sitting on opposite ends of the old sofa of Yeonjun’s living room (so old there were permanent grooves  in the middle cushions where the couch sunk from years of it’s previous owner’s abuse), Wooyoung casually working on a homework assignment he had claimed was due before midnight. Taehyun was supposed to be there, too, but he had found himself busy holding a study session with his group-project members in the library and had promised to come back late.

“Pardon?” Yeonjun blinked, unsure if he had heard Wooyoung wrong.

“Well,” Wooyoung stretches his arms above his head with a pop. “I was thinking about your Choi Beomgyu situation. You’d think after two years of pining for the guy, he’d have caught on. You’re not exactly subtle.”

Yeonjun’s face grows hot with embarrassment. “What are you trying to say?”

“Maybe you’re the problem.” His friend shrugs, then levels an assessing look to Yeonjun. He sits up self-consciously under the scrutiny. “I mean…Maybe you need to be more direct. It’s not like you ever went up to the guy and told him ‘I like you. Please date me?’ right?”

“He barely knows me.” Yeonjun argues. “Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“Weirder than your two-year crush?”

“I hate you.”

Wooyoung laughs loudly. “There’s your problem, darling! He doesn’t know you. Maybe you should work on getting him to acknowledge your existence before you work on getting him to kiss you in the mornings.”

At the time, Yeonjun had just kicked Wooyoung in the hip hard enough to push him off the sofa, much to his best friend’s entertainment. Later, though, Yeonjun hadn’t been able to stop thinking about his words.

Yeonjun was self-aware enough to know his crush on Beomgyu was odd at best, pathetic at worst, because his exchanges with the other boy tended to boil down to the same formula: they would run into each other on campus, politely exchange greetings, and then go on their merry way while Yeonjun beat himself up for not coming up with a good enough reason to prolong each other’s company. It didn’t happen often, either. Whatever Beomgyu was studying, it didn’t line up with Yeonjun’s classes very often, so the times they met were few and far between. The most recent exchanges at the Calico Catfe were the longest periods that Yeonjun has been around Beomgyu, which was sad when he really thought about it.

So, Wooyoung might have a point.

It’s a realization that jolts Yeonjun into action, and he tries not to overthink it too much when he snaps a quick photo of Vivienne Westwood lounging on the windowsill of Yeonjun’s small apartment, her fluffy tail dangling over the edge and swishing gently at the tip, and sending it to the empty chatlog with Choi Beomgyu’s freshly acquired contact information.

Beomgyu doesn’t answer for fifty-nine minutes; Yeonjun knows this because he has spent every single one of those minutes bouncing his leg on the sofa and trying not to wonder if he should have sent another text for context, or if he was weird for just randomly sending a picture of a cat to a boy he was acquaintances with. The text calms his nerves though:

Beomgyu

cute !!! she looks happy!!

 

Yeonjun:

I think she claimed that spot

She hasn’t moved for hours

 

Beomgyu:

Lol

Yeah

I hope you weren’t fond of that window

Its hers now

 

Yeonjun:

It’s my favorite window :((((

 

Beomgyu:

**WAS your favorite window

 

Yeonjun is typing…

-

Soobin, Heeseung, and Kai are waiting for Beomgyu at their usual café when he finishes up with his classes for the day. They’re talking among themselves in the booth near the back of the café, and Heeseung nods at him when Beomgyu slides into the seat beside Kai.

“We’re going out tonight.” Beomgyu announces to them, earning himself an affronted look from Soobin.

“No.” He says at the same time as Heeseung whoops enthusiastically, “Hell yeah!”

“We’re going.” Beomgyu glares at Soobin, leaning in threateningly, waiting for him to raise his hands in defeat before he backs off. Soobin grumbles about it though, taking a sip of his drink rather moodily. Kai is laughing, though he turns and covers his mouth when Soobin shoots him a betrayed look. Kai’s shoulders are still shaking with his barely contained laughter so he’s not fooling anyone, but Beomgyu gives him points for trying.

“Why do I have to go?” Soobin complains.

“Because I said so.”

Heeseung chimes in, “He’s got you there.”

“Iron-clad argument.” Kai agrees, finally controlling his giggles.

Soobin resigns himself to his fate.

This is a usual routine for them when their schedules align. Meeting at the café, drinking coffee they desperately need and catching up with the events for the day, and making plans when it’s possible. It’s a simple thing that Beomgyu cherishes deeply, a vital part of his weekly routine that he might actually go stir crazy without. As much as Beomgyu enjoys his peace at home, he still needs his friends around so he doesn’t get sucked into his own head. As such, they rarely deviate from their routine, because above all, Beomgyu is a creature of habit. He finds comfort among these small consistencies. His friends, too, seem to enjoy these small moments of reprieve in the busy schedules of being full time students.

Except, this time, the routine is broken when a bell chimes above the café entrance, a cheerful announcement of a new customer that happens to catch Beomgyu’s attention. He’d been cackling over Heeseung hiding his face in the neckline of his sweater because of the mention of a guy he’s pining over when he looks up and spots Choi Yeonjun walking into the café, locked in a passionate argument with Kang Taehyun.

Yeonjun’s arms are waving as he explains his point, his lips set into a pout, and Taehyun just shakes his head and cuts him off.

“No, I’m still mad at you.” Taehyun says petulantly. Beomgyu can hear it even over the steady chatter in the café.

“You can’t stay mad forever.” Yeonjun insists. “Look, I promise I won’t go adopting more cats without letting you know, okay? Will that make you stop being mad at me?”

Kang Taehyun sniffs, turning away from Yeonjun. He makes his way to the counter and Yeonjun trails after him, still pleading his case. When he goes steadily ignored ignored, Yeonjun sighs and glances around the café. He locks eyes with Beomgyu as he does, lips forming a smile a recognition lights up his face.

Beomgyu freezes like he is an innocent deer in the face of incoming traffic. Wide eyed and feeling stupid, Beomgyu has activated his fight-or-flight response that comes with being recognized by anybody outside of settings he typically doesn’t see people under. His body chooses the unforeseen third fear response: Freeze.

It’s inevitable for Beomgyu not to meet a lot of new people—he’s a student, and he works a social job. He’s good with people, but that only applies when he knows the social rules. When he meets people on campus, he can follow the social rules of what small talk to make with a student. At work, he knows the social rules to customer interactions, which is to be pleasant and polite, but welcoming. He has never learned how to properly act when he meets people he usually sees at work outside of the workplace. When the usual social rules don’t apply, Beomgyu doesn’t know how to proceed. It’s not like Beomgyu can ask all the customers he recognizes if they’d like more time to order when he’s not on shift, or even at work. Usually, Beomgyu resorts to ignoring them and pretends not to recognize any students that have come by when he’s working, and they tend to do the same. A friendly client-and-cashier relationship does not make for a friendship beyond the doors of the Calico Catfe. If Yeonjun were just another person he had helped at work, he would’ve easily averted his eyes and pretended like he hadn’t seen anything.

However, this is Choi Yeonjun, the boy who has done Beomgyu the monumental service of taking Vivienne Westwood, six-year-old menace to society, fuzzy demon that has it out for Beomgyu, out of the Catfe. Beomgyu’s shifts have become significantly more peaceful as a result. He no longer fears for the state of his face when he has to change out litter pans or refresh water dishes, and for that, Beomgyu is immensely grateful to Yeonjun. He is so grateful, in fact, that he hadn’t even minded receiving the update on Vivienne from Yeonjun on his phone. Looking at Vivienne hadn’t filled him with rage. There was some truth to the saying “absence makes the heart grow fond.”

Beomgyu isn’t sure if he’s grateful enough to acknowledge Yeonjun in this public of a social setting though, especially with his nosy friends sitting beside him. If Beomgyu says hello, and Yeonjun doesn’t want to say hello and it becomes an uncomfortable exchange, then Soobin will be the first to mock Beomgyu for his social awkwardness (despite his best friend being just as socially inept). If Beomgyu ignores Yeonjun, he might be seen as rude by the older boy, and Beomgyu is not rude. His mother would feel a disturbance in the universe if someone dares think that his mother might not have raised him with manners. Beomgyu is not sure what the proper procedure is for this situation.

Yeonjun brings his hand up and waves at Beomgyu.

Beomgyu waves back.

“Who are you waving at?” Kai immediately asks, ever the sharp-eyed menace.

“Yeonjun-hyung.” Beomgyu answers, not realizing his slip until Heeseung’s head reappears from the hoodie and turns to see who they’re addressing. Yeonjun has gone to the register to order now, pulling out his wallet as Taehyun stands beside him. Taehyun must not be angry enough to not let Yeonjun pay for their drinks.

“You know him?” Heeseung asks incredulously. “You know him?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He breaks his attention on the older boy to glare at Heeseung.

“You’re rarely on social media.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Beomgyu sputters just as Heeseung’s eyes widen ever so slightly and he sits just a little straighter. Kai does the same beside Beomgyu, clearing his throat, and Beomgyu turns to see that Yeonjun is starting to come over, a plastic cup of coffee in his hands. Taehyun is right behind him, and from what Beomgyu can see he’s still sulking. There’s a distinctly unhappy set to his face, which is odd because Beomgyu gets the impression he’s a happy guy. It feels like anytime Beomgyu has caught a glimpse of the guy on campus, he’s usually smiling and teasing his friends.

There is no teasing glint in the stink-eye Taehyun levels at Beomgyu as they approach, though. It takes Beomgyu back a little—has he done something to bother Taehyun?

“Hey, Beomgyu-ah.” Yeonjun greets him. “Mind if we sit with you guys for a bit?”

Beomgyu immediately scoots himself further into the booth, as does Soobin and Heeseung on the seat across from him. They were polite boys, and all of their mothers would put them through the wringer if they caught wind of them snubbing an innocent request from someone who hasn’t been ill-intended to them yet. Taehyun takes the seat beside Soobin while Yeonjun fills in the gap Beomgyu left to his right.

“Thanks.” Yeonjun smiles at him, and Beomgyu just nods, unsure what to say. He isn’t sure what kind of universe he has stepped into, because he and Yeonjun are not friends. Acquaintances, sure, and maybe if Beomgyu was feeling generous he would say they’re co-conspirators, except Yeonjun had no idea how fundamental his role was in Beomgyu’s plot to adopt Vivienne out of the Catfe, so he wasn’t quite a co-conspirator. “Hey, Kai.”

“Hi, hyung.” Kai leans forward so he’s visible beside Beomgyu, waving. “Hi, Taehyunnie.”

Taehyun’s voice is visibly warmer when he greets Kai, “Hi. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Beomgyu-hyung likes to drag us all together to hang out sometimes.”

“I see.” The stink-eye is once again directed to Beomgyu. He’s starting to feel a little offended, actually. Luckily, Taehyun is just as eager to bring up the elephant in the room. “I have a bone to pick with you, Choi Beomgyu.”

Beside him, Yeonjun groans. “Taehyunnie, can you not?”

“No, let him speak.” Beomgyu frowns. “What did I do to you? We don’t talk.”

Taehyun huffs. “You let Yeonjun-hyung adopt a cat without me.”

Soobin laughs and then tries to smother it with his palm. Taehyun doesn’t seem to notice, but Beomgyu shoots an unimpressed glare at him.

“I’m sorry?” He says, not sorry at all. “If he didn’t talk to you about the cat, that’s on him, not me.”

“She has a name.” Yeonjun says, tone too happy for the situation. “Her name is Vivienne.”

“I would have known her name if you had taken me with you.” Taehyun crosses his arms, pouting and leaning back in the booth. It’s criminally effective with the big eyes he has. Beomgyu is actually impressed that Yeonjun seems to not crumble at the sight of them.

“You’ve literally met her.” Beomgyu finds himself smiling at the way Yeonjun’s words start to match the petulance in Taehyun’s. “You gave her like a million kisses before we left. Why are you acting like this?”

“You said we couldn’t go to the Catfe because you didn’t want me to adopt a cat!” Taehyun points a finger. “You said—” Taehyun’s voice raises in pitch in a mocking imitation of Yeonjun’s voice. “Nooo Taehyun, you’ll fall in love with the first cat you see and then you’ll adopt it and you can’t even have cats in your dorm!”

“Oh my god.” Yeonjun drops his face into his hands. “Oh my god, can you please just let it go? I said I was sorry!”

Taehyun’s silent huff is answer enough. Beomgyu snickers a little, straightening up though when Taehyun glares at him again. He feels like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak.

“This is hilarious, but I feel a little out of the loop.” Heeseung announces brightly. Soobin murmurs his agreement.

“Yeonjun-hyung adopted Vivienne Westwood the other day.” Beomgyu explains. The two boys nod, following along so far. “He’s been visiting her a lot and finally took her home with him.”

Taehyun’s eyes grow impossibly bigger with betrayal, whirling on Yeonjun who Beomgyu glances over to see wincing. “You’ve been going to see her?”

“Taehyunnie…I can explain…” the elder pleads meekly.

“He’s been seeing other cats…” Kai gasps dramatically. He’s always been the instigator.

Beomgyu tries hard not to laugh, not wanting to earn Taehyun’s ire again. He recalls Yeonjun’s comments before about his friend, and decides that, yes, Kang Taehyun does remind him of the furry little patrons he works with all day. It’s all in his eyes, Beomgyu decides. They have the same wide set to them that the cats get before they pounce on something they are most definitely not supposed to be getting into. If he looks closer, he can almost imagine them dilating. They sparkle with mischief, though right now they’re glimmering with betrayal.

“How could you?” Taehyun gasps, standing up and leaning on his hands across the table to loom over the boy shrinking into the seat, averting his eyes.

Yeonjun seems to have forgotten the others at the table. He starts to whine, “I’m sorry. I promise it’s not like that. I wasn’t intending to adopt her! This is just a misunderstanding—”

“Then why were you going to the Catfe so often? Without me?”

Yeonjun hesitates, his eyes dropping and then glancing around the table. He catches Beomgyu’s eye, and Beomgyu just grins at him, wanting to hear his explanation now, too. This is better than the dramas he watches at home. These reactions are authentic, not fabricated for the audience.

Yeonjun blushes and stammers up at Taehyun. “You—I can explain later, okay? I promise I wasn’t going behind your back to adopt Vivienne. I would never do that to you. It just happened!”

Taehyun’s lip juts out in a pout but he slowly settles back into the seat, “You owe me.”

“Whatever you want.” Yeonjun’s promise is instant, and Kang Taehyun is soothed by the assurance clearly. He looks less agitated when he looks at Beomgyu this time, more contemplative.

“You guys are funny.” Soobin laughs, and Beomgyu can’t help but agree.

“That’s because hyung is a clown.” Taehyun chirps, leveling Soobin with a bright smile. The twinkle of his eyes is back; Soobin seems taken aback by the switch up.

Beomgyu can’t help but agree with that, too. The bright red on Yeonjun’s cheeks does nothing to clear his mind of the image.

-

Yeonjun has always been the type to be quick to fall in love, and even quicker to become infatuated. He has been told he wears his heart on his sleeve, and he can’t even pretend it’s not true. It has always been as easy as breathing for Yeonjun to love people. He doesn’t remember the last time he hadn’t been mooning over someone, even if the crush might’ve just been a shallow little thing.

For as much as he falls for people, though, Yeonjun rarely acts on them. His heart trips over itself at the drop of a hat, so Yeonjun’s brain as to be the one to protect him. Logic dictates that Yeonjun shouldn’t pursue these silly crushes he has, because they won’t last long. They will fizzle out. And he finds that he enjoys the feeling of loving someone privately more than he enjoys the fraying nerves of wondering if they love him, too. If his heart chooses to fall for the stranger that gives him a rose for free because of an event, then those feelings are Yeonjun’s to cherish for as long as he sees fit.

That’s not to say Yeonjun is unfamiliar with heartbreak. It’s inevitable that someone who falls as often and as hard as he does will experience a fair share of heartbreaks. The times he has acted on his feelings have led to relationships that end, and though they aren’t always bad endings, they are still endings, and Yeonjun has always cried at endings. Finales hurt, because there is nothing to look forward to anymore. Rejection, too, hurts. Yeonjun wishes that he weren’t as sensitive as he was so he could shrug off blatant rejection as easily as he shrugs off the crushes he knows won’t go anywhere.

This crush on Choi Beomgyu hasn’t gone anywhere, but it stays stubbornly in his heart. Yeonjun feels the flutter in his stomach when he sees the younger boy just as strongly two years later as he did that first time, if not stronger. These feelings are stubborn, and though Yeonjun hasn’t been rejected yet, he’s growing to dread it more and more every day that passes.

It’s odd for his heart to fixate on someone for as long as Yeonjun has fixated on Beomgyu. He had expected the crush to fade away, for Choi Beomgyu to become another fond memory of a love he could cherish in it’s fleeting beauty. Even those Yeonjun had sworn would be his soulmate had turned into fond memories of infatuation, but these feelings weren’t comparable at all to the way Yeonjun’s breath caught in his throat when Beomgyu was in the picture.

Two years later, Yeonjun’s feelings have become too large for him alone, and he had to share them with his friends. They’ve overflowed and are no longer Yeonjun’s private treasures. They had outgrown him and he could no longer ignore them and wait for them to simmer into nothing. In two years, Yeonjun has only found himself seeking out glimpses of the boy and still tripping over himself when they exchanged polite words, and he is woefully unprepared for the strength of them.

Wooyoung hadn’t been any help with them, of course not. Wooyoung’s only advice was to confess and rip the band-aid off, so to speak. A rejection would at least help Yeonjun begin the process of moving on and no longer stressing about it all.

It was a stupid suggestion Yeonjun had shrugged off without a thought, and then it wasn’t so stupid anymore when Yeonjun starts to hype himself up to finally asking Beomgyu out on a date, only to never properly get the words out. Rejection is not new to him, but he’s still afraid of it.

Yeonjun is nothing if not brave, though, and a little stupid, and a lot reckless, so he is determined to try anyway.

The opportunity comes when Yeonjun is in the middle of filming a viral dance challenge, steadily ignoring the people moving around him as he sets up his phone on a little tri-pod he carried around for this reason, checking the angles for the videos. This is his favorite thing to do on his account; public dance challenges. Yeonjun likes the variety to the backdrop, and how he gets to show off his favorite hobby. It’s hard to learn the dances so quickly sometimes with his schedule, but Yeonjun’s body has always listened to him when he had needed it to, and it was adaptable to change.

Beomgyu starts coming down the path when Yeonjun is 10 seconds into the choreography, and he stumbles and messes up the beat, sighing.

Beomgyu’s wearing arge headphones over his ears, unaware of his surroundings as he walks, head bent low and fingers tapping away at his phone. He’s swallowed up in a large denim jacket, looking far smaller than he actually is, and matching jeans. Beomgyu has a fondness for clothes that seem fitted for two of him over clothes that properly fit him. It’s cute. Yeonjun understands the appeal. Sometimes, Yeonjun prefers to wear oversized clothes if only because he can’t stand the feeling of fabric rubbing on his skin sometimes. As Beomgyu gets closer, the grey flannel peaking out beneath the jacket and the matching hat on his head paint the cutest, comfortable picture that Yeonjun’s fragile heart is weak to. It’s beating like it wants to burst out of his chest.

Yeonjun hears the music come to a stop from his phone, and sighs, going over to it. It stops him from ogling how pretty Choi Beomgyu looks when he absentmindedly tucks more of his fluffy brown hair under the hat, so he isn’t as upset with the lack of usable footage as he normally would be. He doesn’t notice that he has also caught Beomgyu’s attention until he straightens back up, twisting his waist in a stretch.

“Yeonjun-hyung.” Beomgyu greets him pleasantly, coming over to him. Yeonjun is surprised to see Beomgyu has slowly started to hang the headphones around his neck. “What are you doing?”

“Filming.” Yeonjun gestures to where his phone is still set up. “Where are you heading to?”

“Oh, I was just going home. I’m done for the day, so I was going to take a nap.” He shrugs, then asks curiously, “What are you filming?”

“It’s just a dance challenge.” Yeonjun explains. Beomgyu looks a little interested, so he leaves the recording screen to search the trend, tilting the screen to show Beomgyu a few of the videos. He gets a small hum and a little sound of interested surprise.

“Do you want me to help you film? I can hold the camera if you want. Sometimes I help my friends when they do their own dance challenges. I haven’t gotten any complaints so far.”

The offer surprises Yeonjun, but he finds himself nodding along to the earnest offer.

“Can you hear the music alright?” Beomgyu asks when he’s got Yeonjun’s phone in his hands, staring intently at the screen and adjusting where he stands. He directs Yeonjun a little with his hand so he’s better in frame. The volume is raised as high as it will go already, and it’s faint but Yeonjun still hears it. He’s already memorized the steps, anyway. “Okay. Whenever you’re ready…”

It all goes surprisingly well, though Yeonjun had felt shy at first when he saw the first take. He hadn’t likes how the camera had moved, and had hesitantly pointed it out and asked for another take, which Beomgyu had easily agreed to. He took Yeonjun’s vague detailing of what he wanted for the video to heart, and to Beomgyu’s credit, the second shot came out significantly better than the first. Yeonjun had been pleased and saved it to edit later.

“Thank you.” He sincerely thanked the other boy, warm at the way Beomgyu beamed at him. “Sorry for being so picky.”

“Heeseung is worse than you are, hyung.” Beomgyu waves off his apology easily. “I did ten takes with him once, and he still didn’t like it. If you made us do another seven, maybe I’d get annoyed. This is fine, though.”

“I just didn’t like how I looked in the first shot!” Yeonjun defended.

“You looked fine, I promise.” Beomgyu assures, then adds, “You’re a good dancer. Do you do that a lot?”

“Not as much as I used to.” Yeonjun takes a seat on the bench, leaning back comfortably on it. “I’m too busy these days to take classes like before. Maybe when my schedule clears up a bit more, I’ll take it back up.”

Beomgyu takes a seat next to Yeonjun with a hum. “That’s fair. You’re really good, though. I would’ve thought you did it a lot more.”

“Thank you.” Yeonjun feels a little shy under the honest praise. It’s his weakness.

They fall into a comfortable silence, watching the students that walk by in quiet companionship. Yeonjun starts to zone out staring at what looks like a bee zipping around on the grass—there are no flowers for it to land on, so it keeps searching. Yeonjun wonders if there are any flowers nearby at all, and if there weren’t, what was a bee doing so far from the hive?

“How’s Vivienne doing?” Beomgyu speaks up after a while.

Yeonjun snaps back to attention, perking right up. “Oh, she’s great!”

He opens up the folder in his gallery that he had set aside specifically for Vivienne. Taehyun had been the one to suggest it, insisting that he would want to have the distinction the next time he wanted to show pictures of his new cat and didn't want to scroll through the rest of his gallery. Yeonjun pulls up a picture he took of Vivienne this morning when he had woken up and found the cat curled up on his chest, sleeping curled into a little circle. 

"I woke up and there she was." Yeonjun explained, and then goes to the next picture: the calico is crouched at the window, her ears perked up, and there's a little bird perched outside. "She hit the window trying to get to the bird. I wish I got a picture of her face when she did it, but I was laughing too much.”

Beomgyu laughs, leaning in and poking at the phone screen to zoom in. "I haven't seen her this active ever. She's kinda cute."

"She's adorable." Yeonjun corrects, smiling. "I think she's happy."

"She looks happy." Beomgyu agrees. He leans away, smiling oddly. "It's so weird not to see her be so grumpy."

"You need to stop shitting on my cat." Yeonjun chides, not really meaning it but not entirely casual. He hasn't forgotten the way he had heard the staff talking about Vivienne, and Yeonjun has felt a certain type of defensiveness for her ever since he had learned she had struggled to find a home before he had stubbornly taken her. "She's sweet."

"To you."

"What?"

"She's sweet to you." Beomgyu shrugs. "She hated me, though. She scratched me more times than I can count. Look, this is all from her." He holds out his hand to show Yeonjun the scratches that go up the back of his hand and his wrist, and even a few larger ones on his forearm.

"Maybe you should be nicer to her, then." Yeonjun immediately says, and then he regrets it because Beomgyu gives him the dirtiest glare he has had the misfortune of ever receiving from the younger boy. Yeonjun shrinks a little under the force of it. "Sorry..."

A sigh. "Whatever. It's good she likes you, I guess. It would suck if you wanted to return her."

"I would never."

Beomgyu smiles at him, and it's small, and there's something else in it, but he seems happy at Yeonjun's words at least. They fall silent again, staring ahead.

It’s in the silence that Yeonjun’s too big feelings and Wooyoung’s words get to him. There Beomgyu is, sitting beside Yeonjun on a bench like they’re in the middle of a scene in a drama. He wants to reach over and hold the boy’s hand, because that’s what this kind of idyllic scenery calls for, isn’t it? This kind of weather and quiet comfort is something that should be shared as a couple. The problem is that Beomgyu and Yeonjun are not a couple, so Yeonjun can’t hold the boy’s hand, that that’s so tragic that Yeonjun makes himself be brave. They’ll never be anything if he doesn’t try. He'll be brave, and he’ll listen to the part of him that hesitantly said that he might have a chance, because Beomgyu had flirted with him before, and never seemed to mind when Yeonjun tested the waters before.

"You know..." Yeonjun fiddles with his phone, looking down at his hands as he takes a deep breath. Now or never, he decides. It was now or put up with Wooyoung's teasing for the rest of his life, because Yeonjun doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to muster up this bravery again. "I um...I still owe you that coffee. From back when you covered for me. D-Do you want to go and get it? If you're not busy?"

Beomgyu is silent, but Yeonjun doesn't want to look up. His heart is pounding, and he knows his hands are shaking a little.

When Beomgyu speaks, his voice is a little curious but otherwise hard to read. "You want to buy me coffee?"

"It doesn't have to be...coffee..." Yeonjun trails off, realizing how dumb he sounds. He takes a deep breath and makes himself look up. Beomgyu is watching him carefully, his expression neutral. It does nothing to ease Yeonjun's nerves, and he wants to back out, but he's already come this far. He's already made a bit of a fool out of himself with the way he's stumbled over his words. Honestly, he's just relieved Beomgyu has been as patient with him as he already has been. So, ignoring the way his stomach rolls itself into anxious knots, Yeonjun presses forward.

He tries to smile, hoping it doesn't come off as nervous as he feels. "It can be anything. The coffee was just an excuse to ask you out. On a date. Do you want to go on a date with me?"

Beomgyu blinks, his mouth dropping open a little in surprise, and a pretty pink flush creeps up his cheeks. Yeonjun frantic heart eases a little; blushing is a good sign, right? Blushing means Beomgyu is interested, doesn't it? For a moment, he feels hopeful, like his risk was worth it. Then, the moment is over, because Beomgyu looks away from Yeonjun, and he scoots back a little.

Yeonjun heart plummets.

Slowly, Beomgyu shakes his head, and he doesn't look up when he says, "Sorry, I...Um...You're great, Yeonjun-hyung, but I can't accept that. I'm not really...interested in you like that."

"Oh." Yeonjun says, vaguely aware of the way he sounds even stupider now. "Okay, that's...okay."

"I'm sorry." The younger boy does look up finally, and to his credit, he really does look uncomfortable and a little upset with his words. "I'm flattered, but...I can't."

"Please don't be sorry." Yeonjun shakes his head. The anxiety in his stomach had undone itself, but it had been tragically replaced by growing mortification, and his heart has cracked, just a little. He thinks it must be bleeding into his expression despite his best efforts to reassure Choi Beomgyu that it's alright to reject him, that Yeonjun can handle his heart being given back to him. "It's okay. You don't have to--I wasn't expecting you to...Um..." Yeonjun clears his throat again. "C-Can I ask why?"

"Why I don't like you?" He sounds even more uncomfortable. Yeonjun wants to take back his last question, but it's too late. He wants to say, You don't have to answer that, I'm sorry, but Beomgyu is already scooting further away from Yeonjun on the bench, averting his eyes. "I just don't see you like that, and it wouldn't be fair of me to accept a date from you knowing that I won’t return your feelings." He stands up, not meeting Yeonjun's eyes, and mutters, "I'm sorry, hyung. I'll go, now. Sorry."

And then he's rushing out of the park, just shy of running. Beomgyu doesn't look back.

-

Yeonjun stays strong until the door of his home has clicked shut behind him, and Vivienne Westwood is hopping off of her perch on the windowsill and trotting towards him, chirping her usual greeting. It’s only been a week with her, but Yeonjun is already unsure how he had ever been content to come home without Vivienne greeting him like she has never been happier to see him. Usually, Yeonjun would have crouched down to pet her and smother her with as much affection as she would allow, but today Yeonjun just slips his shoes off and puts his things away in the storage of the foyer.

Vivienne chirps at him again, rubbing along his ankles. Yeonjun doesn’t pick her up—he brings his hands up to rub at the wetness of his cheeks, sniffling. Yeonjun starts to cry.

Rejection is not unfamiliar, but practice doesn’t make it sting any less. His heart is still bruised, and two years of feelings much bigger than he has known how to manage are crumbling in his hands into sharp, painful shards.

Sharp nails dig into his leg, startling Yeonjun out of the impending spiral with a wince of pain. Vivienne Westwood is standing on his hind legs, stretched out high and digging her nails into Yeonjun’s thigh before she reaches out a paw to him. He can’t help but pick her up this time, if only so she doesn’t scratch him as she stretches, and Vivienne immediately rubs her head under his chin, digging her claws into his chest as she kneads at him sweetly. It hurts, but Yeonjun doesn’t care. He’ll take all the comfort and love he’ll take, and right now Vivienne is pouring it into him in spades. He juggles holding the cat and pulling his phone out as he goes to his bed is places in the corner of his studio apartment. He finds Wooyoung’s contact, laying down with it ringing on speaker. Usually, this would be where Yeonjun would grab a pillow and curl around it like a scorned romance lead, but this time Vivienne Westwood is wiggling on top of Yeonjun’s chest, settling into a loaf as he lays a gentle hand on her back.

Wooyoung answers after two rings, voice annoyed. “Darling, I love you, but I have San over right now for date night. Is this important?”

Yeonjun composes himself for a few moments, trying for casual. It doesn’t work; Yeonjun’s voice is wet. “No, sorry.”

Wooyoung’s tone softens immediately, well acquainted with how Yeonjun sounds when he cries. “What’s wrong?”

Yeonjun sniffles, and Vivienne starts to purr. He had read online that purring is how cats try to comfort you when you’re distressed, that they have healing properties in the frequencies of their purring. Vivienne had waited until she had settled over Yeonjun’s heart to purr, and Yeonjun knew he was reading too much into it because it was impossible for a cat to be so aware, but it makes him start to tear up worse. “I asked Beomgyu on a date.”

Wooyoung waits, allowing Yeonjun the space to say anything else. He just stays silent, trying to compose himself. This is ridiculous, isn’t it? Yeonjun is 22, he shouldn’t be this effected by being rejected by a boy that barely knows him. Yeonjun knows how to handle rejection, and yet it’s taking everything in him to hold himself together and he’s not doing a good enough job.

“Did he say no?”

Yeonjun hums an affirmative answer, taking a deep, rattling breath. Vivienne’s purring almost seems to grow louder.

“We’ll be over soon, okay? Do you want snacks and ice-cream? I’ll get you that kind you like.” Yeonjun makes that affirmative sound again, earning a coo from his best friend. “Okay, darling. We’re on our way. Don’t start crying until we’re there, okay? You know Sannie likes to cry with you.”

“It’s true,” San chimes in from the background. “I really do. I have a lot of tears to cry, Yeonjun, wait for me to get there so we can do it together!”

“Okay.” Yeonjun’s laugh dissolves into a hiccup of a sob. Wooyoung says something else Yeonjun doesn’t hear because he hands up and puts his phone aside. Vivienne complains when Yeonjun gently nudges her off of his chest so he can curl on his side and press his hands into his eyes. He feels stupid to be this upset over something like this, but Yeonjun has always been too emotional for his own good. His mother called him sensitive and empathetic, but Yeonjun knew that she was trying not to upset him.

Vivienne Westwood bumps her head into Yeonjun’s nose, some of her fur sticking to the wetness of his face when she rubs along his cheek. It’s so gross Yeonjun has to laugh and nudge her away. She ignores him and presses against his head again, and then suddenly turns in a circle and flops onto her side. Like this, Vivienne’s furry back is smothering Yeonjun’s teary face. He laughs again, wet and incredulous.

Vivienne is looking over her shoulder at Yeonjun with her big green eyes. He tells her, “You’re so weird, do you know that? This is the weirdest way I’ve ever been comforted.”

The calico just stares, her ear twitching. Yeonjun rubs at his eyes, then his cheeks, picking at the fur that he feels sticking to him. “I’m okay. I’m alright, really. I’m fine.”

Vivienne just licks her paw, and purrs when Yeonjun gently strokes her back, waiting for Wooyoung to show up with ice-cream and snacks to sooth his wounded, bruised heart.

-

Beomgyu to Yeonjun:

hi hyung

are you okay? I'm sorry. I feel bad for leaving the way i did. i hope i wasn't mean to you...and i'm sorry, again. i understand if you don't want to see me again, but i just wanted to see if you were okay?

seen 10:11pm

Yawnzzning posted a new video! everything is awful

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: [Yawnzzning is laying on the sofa. On his chest is a long-haired calico, only the top of her head in frame. Yawnzzning is staring up at the ceiling, and the camera is held high and shaking.] "real life footage of my child not caring about my emotional well-being. I'm crying, having an emotional breakdown, and all she's doing is licking herself on my chest. What do you have to say for yourself, Vivienne? [Yawnzzning pokes the cat on the nose. There is no reaction. Sigh.] Yeah, that's what I thought you would say. [Long groan.] My friends are on their way with ice cream because I'm sensitive and need emotional support, and this one isn't helping...ugh I hate how much this is upsetting me. It feels stupid, like, why am I so upset by a rejection? It's not like he has to like me back. I'm not stupid, I know not everyone will like me. I just...ugh! I just...I'm so stupid. This is what I get for getting a stupid, useless crush."]

This Video is No Longer Available

Yawnznning posted a new video! I'm losing it

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: "It has come to my attention that I'm being dramatic. [Yawnzzning eats a spoonful of icecream. It is overflowing, and his cheeks are red. The camera is propped up on a surface that allows half of a calico sitting on the table so be seen. Yawnzzning is speaking to the cat.] I'm fine though, really. I'm a big boy. I can handle being rejected. I just needed to be dramatic first. You understand, right Miss Vivienne? Right. I knew you would understand me. We're kindred spirits. Anyway, it's not like this is the end of the world. We can still be friends, obviously. I'm happy to be his friend--that sounds pathetic, doesn't it? Ah, I don't think so, though. I think if you really like someone, you'd want to be their friend. You'd want them in your life in whichever way they want, because you like them enough to be around them. That's what I feel with him. It sucks a little, but it's good. This can be a good opportunity. A fresh start! We can be friends without me wondering if he might return my feelings. [Yawnzzning pulls away the spoon of icecream as the calico cat sniffs at it, starting to stand.] No. This is not for cats. This is people food, not Vivienne food. No. Don't look at me like that, I'm not going to give you ice cream because you give me your big baby eyes. [Yawnzzning looks at Vivienne. She meows. Yawnzzning reaches for the camera; video ends.]"]

This Video is No Longer Available

Yawnzzning uploaded a new video! #smokechallenge :)

THREE

So.

Choi Yeonjun asked out Choi Beomgyu on a date, and Choi Beomgyu rejected him. Choi Beomgyu leaves him in a rush, because he feels so mortified and embarrassed by rejecting a boy he barely really knows, and is only vaguely friendly with. He goes home, and he frantically texts Soobin to tell him what has happened, and then gets pulled into a group facetime between Soobin, Kai, Heeseung, and Lim Jimin, who is studying at a different university but had been friends with Beomgyu for so long they know everything about each other. It only makes sense for Jimin to be in this call, despite not knowing a single thing about Choi Yeonjun.

He runs through the events of the day, the way he had rushed out of that situation, and when he's done explaining, Kai says, gently, "So...Why did you reject him?"

Beomgyu blurts, "Because he's the devil, Kai!"

Kai looks at Beomgyu. Even through the screen, its a little more scathing than Beomgyu feels he deserves. 

"He's literally one of the nicest guys on campus." Kai says. "He helped me with my homework the other day."

"I'm gonna have to agree with Ningning." Heeseung chimes in. "He's actually really nice. Like, we don't really talk, but he's always been friendly."

Jimin nods along, agreeing as though he even knows the guy. "What's the real reason?"

"That is the real reason." Beomgyu insists, ignoring the way Soobin has started to cover his face on the camera with his hands. "Don't look at me like that!"

"Why do you think he's the devil, Beomgyu?" Soobin asks, not looking up. "Was he mean to you?"

"Do you remember that asshole cat that has it out for me?" Beomgyu asks. "Vivienne Fucking Westwood?"

"Why do you say that like that's her full name..."

"She likes him!" Beomgyu barrels on, and then he's ranting. "You know how they say pets are a good judge of character? Well, what kind of character is Vivienne judging? What are her standards? Does she want someone who kicks puppies or something? She’s evil enough for that. She hated me, made a point of making handling her actual hell, and yet she's all sweet purring and cute little meows with Choi Yeonjun? Don't you think that's a little weird? Like calls to like! If Vivienne, the demon cat, likes Choi Yeonjun so much, then he must be the same kind of evil as her, and if I remember my science notes from high school, the scientific method says that that makes Yeonjun the actual devil. He's actually evil."

Jimin cracks up, disappearing off camera. "Beomgyu, that's the stupidest shit I've ever heard."

Beomgyu doesn't laugh. Jimin seems to realize this and then his face is staring into the camera, and he says, "Oh, you're serious."

"Deadly."

The call goes silent for a moment, only for Kai to say, "You can't really believe that, can you?"

"He really does." Soobin answers for Beomgyu. It's nice to know that his best friend knows him so well. "There's more, though, isn't there?"

Beomgyu's jaw drops a little, offended. "No, there's not."

"Indulge me, please. What are all the reasons you rejected him?"

"Why are you acting like I'm not allowed to say no to a date?" A little annoyed, Beomgyu crosses his arms. He sets his phone up against a counter. "I'm allowed to say no without offering an explanation."

"Yeah." Soobin agrees. "But you wouldn't have called us if you had just said no and moved on."

Fair enough.

"I felt bad." Beomgyu admits reluctantly. He thinks of the way Yeonjun's expression had gone from anxiously hopeful to tragically sad with a guilty swoop of his stomach. The elder had been sweet about his request, and Beomgyu had felt like the biggest asshole to reject him. It hadn't helped at all that Yeonjun had taken the rejection gracefully, not at all getting annoyed with Beomgyu the way he had expected. He had half expected Yeonjun to switch up on Beomgyu the second he rejected him, for the older boy to start flinging hard words at him, to start berating him and telling Beomgyu that he wasn't actually worth anything, but Yeonjun had just accepted his denial. "He looked...sad."

Sad was an understatement. Beomgyu didn't want to give himself more importance than he really deserved, but sad didn't properly describe the crestfallen expression Yeonjun had watched him with. It didn't encompass the way shake of Choi Yeonjun’s fingers as he had dropped his eyes and looked close to tears. It had been worse, because just moments before the rejection, Beomgyu had seen his expression light up so brightly as he filmed his dance video. Yeonjun had that kind of smile that transformed his face; it softened the sharp lines of his features and scrunched up his cheeks into something Beomgyu would have wanted to pinch if he knew the guy better. Yeonjun was cute when he smiled. He was significantly less cute when he was upset and not meeting Beomgyu's eyes.

"Did he cry?" Heeseung asks, and three other voices are immediately on his case, scolding him. "What? Sorry, I just wanted to know. Damn, can't a man ask questions?"

"He didn't cry." Beomgyu interrupted the barrage of chides that followed. "Although I think he wanted to. He kind of sounded like he would before I left."

"...Please tell me you didn't just leave the guy crying on a bench."

Beomgyu maintained his silence so long Jimin started to groan. "Beomgyu..."

"What was I supposed to do?" Beomgyu cries, offended. "I figured he didn't want me to be there for that! I'm probably the last person to try to comfort him."

"Well, at least you let him down nicely." Kai said, trying to be positive like always. "It would've been worse if you led him on. If he liked you enough to cry, then it would've been awful if he found out later."

"Exactly."

"Well." Heeseung sighs. "I guess you've got a point there."

-

Beomgyu doesn’t think he’ll see Choi Yeonjun again. He expects that the older boy will disappear from his life to nurse his broken heart, and maybe in a few weeks Beomgyu might catch sight of him in passing glances over the months before Yeonjun graduates and he disappears from Beomgyu’s life like another leaf in the wind. Beomgyu isn’t necessarily sad about it, but he does mourn the potential friend he could have had.

He makes his peace with the situation when he doesn’t see the other boy for two days, not even in passing, and his message had gone unanswered. Beomgyu expected it, and he shrugged it off. It wasn’t like they were close, anyway.

Yeonjun didn’t get the memo.

On the third day Post-Rejection, Yeonjun slides into the seat across from Beomgyu in the café he regularly meets his friends at. Beomgyu had arrived earlier than usual, so he’d been sitting alone sipping on a strawberry iced-tea while he waited, and Yeonjun’s sudden presence startled him so much he choked mid-sip.

“Careful.” Yeonjun chides, pulling out some napkins from the dispenser and handing them to Beomgyu to clean up the spill from his inelegant sputtering. “Here. You made a mess.”

“Hyung.” Beomgyu greets uncomfortably when he’s cleaned up. He fiddles with the ends of the used napkin. “I um…I didn’t expect to see you. How are you?”

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just happened to see you were here, so I figured I'd say hi before your friends got here. You looked sad all alone here." Yeonjun rubs the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. He won't quite meet Beomgyu's eyes. "Should I leave?"

"You don't have to." He says hastily. "You can stay!"

Yeonjun smiles and shifts in his seat. He finally looks at Beomgyu, properly, and though there's a little pink tint on his cheeks, there's nothing else about him that hints at their last disastrous meeting. 

Beomgyu, of course, can't stop saying stupid shit. "How are you feeling, hyung? After...After we last talked. You never answered my text and...I thought you hated me."

Yeonjun's cheeks grow redder. He looks away, coughing a little into his fist. "Oh, I'm alright. Sorry for not answering. I was spending time with my friends."

"Oh." Alright. I'm alright. He had said it so casually, like it hadn't mattered, like he hadn't looked like he was on the verge of tears when Beomgyu had left him on that bench. In hindsight, it really had been a bit of a rude move to just leave like that, but in the moment Beomgyu hadn't known what else to do. And now, here was Choi Yeonjun acting like this was nothing. Casually coming up to Beomgyu like he hadn't been gone for two days, like he hadn't looked devastated. 

Damn, Beomgyu thinks, brow furrowing with mild annoyance. Had Yeonjun really not cared that much? He supposes it was hard to care since they barely knew each other, but still. Beomgyu had expected Yeonjun to be a little more torn up about this whole thing, and yet here he was acting like it wasn't a big deal at all.

Had he been playing Beomgyu? Had it been a joke?

"Yeah." Yeonjun purses his lips, shrugs, and says, "I'm gonna grab something to drink. I'll be right back."

He gets up without waiting for Beomgyu to confirm. That was fine; Beomgyu is still processing the casualness of Yeonjun's actions. He had expected more awkwardness, maybe some stiffness to the conversation. Part of him half expected Yeonjun to have come up to him to say something scathing after all. He'd expected Yeonjun to avoid him, and for there to be more tension on his end than there was. This casualty was disarming. He glares at the iced-tea before him, trying to find the answers in the ice cubes.

Beomgyu did not expect Yeonjun to act like he simply didn’t care.

Yeonjun returns with an iced-americano, sipping it once he sits.

"Yeonjun-hyung." Beomgyu blurts. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting?" Yeonjun tilts his head, confused. "Do you...not want me to?"

"No that's not..." Beomgyu huffs. "That's not what I mean."

"What do you mean then?"

Beomgyu gestures vaguely between the two of them, "I mean what are you doing? I thought you would avoid me, because last time..."

"You think I'll avoid you because you don't return my feelings for you?" Yeonjun says, and it's so blunt Beomgyu stops and blinks. Yeonjun sounds vaguely amused, and embarrassed.

Wordlessly, Beomgyu nods. His cheeks feel hot, too.

"Choi Beomgyu." Yeonjun laughs, reaching out to ruffle Beomgyu's hair across the table, much to his mortification. "You're cute. Do you really think we can't be friends just because I have a crush on you?"

Just like that, the elephant Beomgyu had been skirting around is out between them. Just like that, Beomgyu feels himself blush dark red all the way to the roots of his hair. Yeonjun's got this soft look in his eye, and Beomgyu wouldn't know he was nervous if he couldn't see the way Yeonjun fidgets with his fingers on the table. He had said it so simply, so matter-of-factly that it almost made Beomgyu feel silly for having that assumption.

Almost, because Beomgyu knows how this goes. 

"Yes." He says, stubborn. "Usually, when a person gets rejected, they ignore the person. I'm not going to change my mind just because you're sticking around."

"That's not why I'm here." Yeonjun shakes his head. "Look, I like you. Obviously, you know that. I would have liked to be able to take you on a date, but if all you want to offer is friendship, I'll happily take that too. I like being around you."

Beomgyu stares. "What?"

"Do you...not want me to be your friend?" The nerves finally seem to reach Yeonjun. He fidgets in his seat. "Sorry, are you uncomfortable now that you know? I didn't think it'd bother you, but..."

"You're okay with just being friends?" Beomgyu blurts, confused. "Seriously?"

"Well, yeah." Yeonjun scratches the side of his nose, laughing a little nervously. "Is that weird? Wooyoung said it wouldn't be weird."

"It won't be...painful for you?"

"Painful?" Yeonjun blinks. "I...no? Why would it be...You read too many romance novels. It's not painful to be your friend if that's all you want to offer. I'm a big boy. I can handle my own feelings."

Beomgyu continues to stare. He doesn't realize that a small cluster of people has begun to approach until he hears Soobin clearing his throat, and he tears his eyes away from Yeonjun to see the way Soobin is casting furtive glances between them. Beomgyu hopes Soobin can read the confusion in his own eyes, and maybe provide some non-verbal wisdom via their eye contact.

"Hey, Yeonjun-hyung." Soobin greets, awkwardly. Yeonjun smiles up at him.

"Hey, Soobin-ah. Am I interrupting now?" He gets up from the booth, ignoring the way Soobin starts to protest on principle. He's reassuring the older boy as he gathers his things up. "It's alright. I should be meeting up with some friends, anyway. I just saw Beomgyu was sitting alone and I felt bad for him, but now that you're here I don't feel so bad leaving. We were done talking, I think."

"Yeonjun-hyung." Beomgyu says, standing up too. He ignores the wide eyes look Soobin sports. "Are you...sure? You really don't mind?"

The older boy's expression softens. He says, "I'm sure, Gyu. You're sweet for worrying, but you don't need to worry about that. I'm really happy just being friends."

Soobin blurts, "What's going on?"

Beomgyu hastily says, "Nothing!" in an attempt to save some face for Yeonjun at the same time that Yeonjun says, "Beomgyu doesn't think we can be friends because I have a crush on him, and I was just correcting that assumption."

Soobin and Beomgyu both stare at him, wide eyed and slack jawed, and Yeonjun giggles. He honest to god giggles. If Beomgyu didn't see the red on his cheeks and the nervous way he fidgets, he would be convinced this really is not as big of a deal as it should be. Beomgyu feels like he's being gaslit. Is Choi Yeonjun gaslighting him? Beomgyu cannot believe that he is being gaslit by yet another blonde man.

"I'll see you two around." Yeonjun waves, and then he's gone, leaving Beomgyu and Soobin gaping after him.

"Tell me everything." Soobin demands, ever the gossip, and though Beomgyu had been present for all of it, and the encounter had been short, he doesn't even know where to begin.

-

The next week is weird.

Yeonjun is seemingly determined to come off as normal and unbothered, and he doesn’t shy away from any mention of the crush he has on Beomgyu. After the initial way Beomgyu had jumped out of his own skin at Yeonjun’s sudden presence in his life (paired with his friends glancing hastily between the two as if Beomgyu could explain what was going on any better than they could), things became almost normal. Yeonjun made himself a part of Beomgyu’s friend group easily enough, and soon nobody was batting an eye when Yeonjun started to join them when they hung out together. If they went out for drinks, they extended the invitation to Yeonjun at Kai’s suggestion, and Yeonjun was always happy to be included.

It was almost normal, except for the fact that Beomgyu has no idea what to do when Yeonjun flirts with him.

At first, Beomgyu had shuffled awkwardly when Yeonjun made a flirtatious remark (see: calling Beomgyu cute, telling Beomgyu he looked pretty when he definitely didn’t, blowing exaggerated kisses at him when Beomgyu had been too tired and cranky to handle being teased by his friends and had taken it out on Yeonjun instead), or completely frozen up with every innuendo Yeonjun made. It wasn’t like they were directed at Beomgyu, necessarily. Yeonjun made suggestive comments to everyone, and though it amused Beomgyu to no end to see Heeseung stammer and turn red when Yeonjun offers to help Heeseung study with a smug smirk on his face, he wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to react on the occasions Yeonjun turned it on him. Beomgyu grew used to it, though, and eventually stopped over-reacting in light of Yeonjun’s feelings for him.

Beomgyu still feels very much like Yeonjun is gaslighting him into believing that Yeonjun had never asked him out.

He can’t forget though. How could he forget? Even with Yeonjun acting so normal, Beomgyu starts to think he is the one who is more effected by Yeonjun’s confession, and that starts to nag at him. Shouldn’t it be the boy that has feelings for him that is flustered at flirty comments? It shouldn’t be Beomgyu that is struggling to process Yeonjun’s crush on him. Was it really that easy for Yeonjun to move on from Beomgyu? Was he really that forgettable?

Beomgyu doesn’t know how to handle it, so he just doesn’t. He takes a page out of Yeonjun’s book and pretends that everything is normal. And maybe it is. It’s not like Beomgyu has had any friends have a crush on him before, so there’s no reference Beomgyu can work with.

It helps that Yeonjun’s company isn’t all that bad. Beomgyu finds that he doesn’t quite mind his presence, as long as he isn’t using it to start to bully Beomgyu the way the rest of his friends do.

-

Yeonjun had let it slip once, casually, that he was interested in fashion. It made sense; the way he dressed, the way he admired models and criticized costume choices for the dramas they watch, the casual comments Yeonjun made about fabric choices, patterns, colors, and so on spoke volumes for his interest. Yeonjun liking fashion was something that felt very much like him. It explained why he sometimes rolled his eyes at the way Beomgyu dressed, but never made a comment. Not a bad one anyway. 

Beomgyu kept this in mind when he had invited Yeonjun along to go clothes shopping with him, because his parents had sent him some spending money late for his birthday, and he had looked mournfully at his closet and decided he needed more than the sad assortment of clothes. If he was going to be spending time with Yeonjun more—Yeonjun, who wore skirts and pretty blouses, and also wore ripped jeans and henleys and looked just as good at both ends of the spectrum—he needed to spruce up his own wardrobe. He was beginning to grow self-conscious in the same hoodie and jeans combination he had safely kept to for comfort. 

They meet at the entrance to the shopping center, and as usual, Yeonjun is dressed nicely. He's in ripped pants this time, and a red and black striped knitted sweater that does nothing to hide the lines of his body. Beomgyu isn't blind—he can appreciate that, objectively speaking, Yeonjun is pretty. He can appreciate that Yeonjun knows how to make himself look prettier, too. It's not something he's ashamed to admit. 

He tries not to ogle though, especially when Yeonjun waves at him enthusiastically as he jogs over and waits patiently for Beomgyu to catch his breath. "Sorry I’m late."

Yeonjun says, "It's okay. I've only been waiting a few minutes--not a big deal. You ready?"

Beomgyu straightens up, excited. "Yeah. I need new clothes. I need you to tell me if something is hideous."

Yeonjun nods seriously and promises to do exactly that. Beomgyu trusts him, and it worries him too how much power he might just have given Yeonjun. Beomgyu wouldn’t say he has no sense of style, but he can confidently say that his tastes aren’t exactly Yeonjun’s. Yeonjun was bolder than Beomgyu thought he would ever comfortably be.

The first store they stop by goes smoothly—it’s just a jewelry store, and Yeonjun goes inside to fawn over the pretty bracelets and earrings. He ends up walking out with a silver bracelet in his hands and a happy smile on his face as he asks Beomgyu's help to latch it on. As he helps snap the clasp of the bracelet closed around Yeonjun’s wrist, Beomgyu couldn’t help but wonder if Yeonjun only liked silver jewelry. He had never seen him wearing anything gold.

The second store is just as easy—the only slight hiccup was when Yeonjun wordlessly handed Beomgyu a skirt to try on, eyes expectant and pleading, and Beomgyu must shake his head because as much as he agrees that clothes being gendered is bullshit, he personally doesn't want to wear a skirt. Beomgyu doesn't think he's brave enough for it, or has the legs for it, really. He's tall, but he's the kind of tall that looks more lanky than elegant, and the skirt Yeonjun had offered him was long and needed someone who could do it justice. Thankfully, the older boy doesn't press him on it and instead offers Beomgyu a pair of denim shorts that are more Beomgyu's comfort.

It goes on like that. They take a snack break an hour or so into their mission, and while they're lazily eating at the food court, Beomgyu animatedly starts giving Yeonjun a play-by-play of his last League match with Soobin. Yeonjun is picking at his food, his chin propped in his palm, smiling and nodding while Beomgyu speaks. He doesn't notice the soft look in yeonjun's eye until he's halfway through the story, and he pauses to take a breath.

Yeonjun was just staring at him, smiling. He hadn’t said anything in a while, actually.

"What?" Beomgyu asks, self-conscious.

Yeonjun casually says, "Nothing. It's just cute seeing you so excited. What did Soobin do after that?"

Beomgyu blinks, "H-He, uh...He...I'm sorry, are you flirting with me?"

"Not really." Yeonjun rolls his eyes. "I just called you cute. I could flirt with you, if you want. But I get the feeling that'd make you uncomfortable."

Beomgyu isn't sure how to respond to that, so he doesn't. He just slowly resumes his story, and Yeonjun just watches him, and Beomgyu decides that Choi Yeonjun is just really weird. The rest of the shopping adventure goes just as smoothly, with Yeonjun's occasional comment and compliment, but Beomgyu is determined to ignore them, now. He feels stupid for bringing it up the first time. 

Of course Yeonjun wasn’t flirting with him. Beomgyu didn’t even want him to.

-

Yeonjun stops by the Catfe, sometimes. He goes in during Beomgyu's shits, and he leans over the counter while Beomgyu makes his usual drink, and he always has something to say. 

Today, Yeonjun’s topic is Vivienne. 

"She just started climbing my curtains!" Yeonjun exclaims. "Like, one minute she was chilling on the window, as she does, and I look away for two minutes, and when I look back up, she's halfway up my curtains. She looked at me, too, and then she made the saddest, most pitiful sound. She was stuck! Vivienne literally got herself stuck on my curtains!"

Beomgyu gives the drink to Yeonjun, making sure there's no line behind him before he gets comfortable by the counter, wiping it down to look busy while he chats. The last time he’d lingered talking with Yeonjun, his manager had thrown him a dirty look that still makes Beomgyu shiver. "Did you get her down?"

Yeonjun looks affronted, like he can't believe Beomgyu even has to ask that question. "Of course I did. What if she fell and hurt herself?"

"Cats are sturdier than you think."

"Vivienne is delicate. She must be treated gently."

Beomgyu laughs, and then laughs harder at the way Yeonjun's face sours. "I'm sorry, but Vivienne is the last cat I would think is delicate."

She's the devil, and you're no saint to have won her over. Beomgyu doesn't say, though he thinks it vehemently. He’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. Soon, Yeonjun will show his true colors. He will show that he has some heinous secret, or maybe he’ll slip up and the horns will start to show through his hair. Right now, the only thing showing is Yeonjun’s dark roots growing in that desperately need to be touched up. Yeonjun seems to catch a glimpse of his inner thoughts, because his face grows even more sour and he leans away from the counter. 

"This is why she didn't like you." Yeonjun sniffs, and turns around. Beomgyu blinks, staring at Yeonjun's retreating back. "Maybe she was onto something."

He leaves without a backwards glance, and Beomgyu is left stunned.

Was Yeonjun seriously upset?

-

Yeonjun is definitely angry. At first, Beomgyu doesn't really notice. He goes about his day, meets up with Soobin, Heeseung, and Kai, and then he has a coffee date with Jimin across the city, and he doesn't realize Yeonjun hasn't texted him once about Vivienne until it's been 3 days, and their chat log rests untouched, and Beomgyu is staring at the way his last message was left on delivered.

He's about to send another text, but part of him suspects it'll only be left delivered, so instead, Beomgyu goes straight to calling Yeonjun.

It rings once, twice, and then goes straight to voicemail.

Beomgyu stares at it. Offended, he aggressively starts texting.

Beomgyu

did you ignore my call

seen 3:01pm

 

ur mad at me

seen 3:42pm

 

hyung

 

Yeonjun:

read 4:02pm 

 

Beomgyu:

R U SERIOUS

seen 4:03pm

 

open up i'm outside your door

wooyoung told me your address

i brought food

seen 5:55pm

Yeonjun opens the door with a bundle of fur in his arms. Beomgyu smiles brightly as a greeting and is met with twin looks if annoyance. Vivienne, on her part, somehow looks less annoyed than Yeonjun, which is impressive. Beomgyu doesn't wilt, because he is stronger than that. Choi Yeonjun doesn’t scare him, even if he is holding what could technically count as a murder weapon. Beomgyu doesn’t underestimate those claws.

"Can I come in?" He holds up a plastic bag and bats his eyelashes. "I know you're mad at me, but I brought you dinner."

Yeonjun sighs and nods, stepping aside. "If you say one mean thing about Vivienne, I'm banning you from ever coming over."

"You would really ban me from visiting?" Beomgyu pouts, walking through the entry and gratefully accepting the offered house slippers, then setting the bag down on the counter that separates the kitchen from the living room in the studio apartment. He hadn't expected Yeonjun to live somewhere so modest, but he supposes it fits him. The unmade bed in the corner with the black and white sheets suits him, somehow. 

"Why wouldn't I?" Yeonjun quips. "All you've done is insult my child."

"But you like me." Beomgyu argues, regretting his words as soon as he says them. He expects Yeonjun to grow embarrassed by the mention and is about to apologize when the older boy just laughs.

"So?" Yeonjun laughs, setting down Vivienne gently on the floor. She trots off to Yeonjun's bed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You'd really kick out the guy you have a crush on?"

"Wooyoung says I shouldn't let shitty men walk over me just because I want them." 

Beomgyu can't argue with that, mostly because he can't say anything without sputtering. Yeonjun grins smugly, and it takes a while for Beomgyu to form a proper response. "I'm not a shitty man!"

"That sounds like something a shitty man would say."

"Fuck you."

"We could." Yeonjun winks, terribly. He scrunched his whole face to do it, and he didn’t quite manage to only blink one eye. It ends up looking like a quick grimace more than a suggestive wink, but Beomgyu still feels himself grow embarrassed. Beomgyu always gets embarrassed when he's flirted with, worse when he knows Yeonjun actually means the offer.

"No, thank you." Beomgyu hastily says, not looking at the bed in the corner. 

"Suit yourself." Yeonjun shrugs, and he sets out some plates. "What did you bring me to eat? If it's not good, I'll kick you out again. Apology food should be good."

"Who says I'm here to apologize?" Beomgyu bluffs.

"You're not here to apologize for being mean to my baby?" Yeonjun asks, side eyeing Beomgyu.

Beomgyu shakes his head.

Yeonjun hums and straightens up. He sets a hand on his hip and then says, "Okay. Get out."

Beomgyu blinks, unsure if he heard that correctly. "What?"

"Get out." Yeonjun repeats, gesturing to the door. "I don't respect boys who won't respect my only child. Get out. I don't care how cute you are."

"If I leave, I'm taking the food with me."

"Okay." He shrugs carelessly. "I can cook."

Beomgyu gapes. "You weren't supposed to call my bluff."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." He wiggles a finger at Beomgyu. "Now, you owe me and Vivienne an apology."

Is he serious? Beomgyu stares, and the way Yeonjun crosses his arms across his chest and pouts at Beomgyu says that yes, he is very serious. God, Beomgyu hates him. He’s so annoying, and Beomgyu wants to shake him for it.

Reluctantly, Beomgyu grumbles, "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"...Being mean to Vivienne." He sighs.

Yeonjun smiles, brightening up his stern expression. "There. See, was that so hard?"

"Yes."

"You're impossible."

You like it. Beomgyu doesn't say, just barely biting his tongue. 

-

Ice-cream with Yeonjun is nice. Hanging out with Yeonjun, in general, is nice.

At 7pm, they sit at the park side by side on the bench, talking and eating their respective ice cream, and Yeonjun is laughing too hard at his own unfunny jokes. He's really not as funny as he thinks he is, but the enthusiasm that he tells them with has Beomgyu cracking a smile despite himself. Yeonjun's humor is an odd mix of terrible puns, and well-timed quips. He's also more of a little shit than Beomgyu thought he would be, a little more feral in his behavior than he had expected.

Honestly, Beomgyu had expected Yeonjun to be more put together, a little more elegant almost. The way he carried himself created this illusion that Yeonjun was more serious than he was. Hanging out with him though, making jabs at his choice of ice-cream flavor (mint-choco, like a heathen), Beomgyu gets to see every exaggerated expression, every broad gesture as he shoves at Beomgyu in mock offense. It's cute how his brows knit together in a pout, how his lips jut out. 

He's so childish, Beomgyu can't help but make jabs at him, and he responds so easily Beomgyu just keeps delighting in it. It's so hard to get a rise out of his friends, partly because they're used to him and his antics, partly because they've grown immune after too many times they've given Beomgyu the response he wants and realized he will only keep pressing the buttons. Yeonjun keeps presenting buttons for Beomgyu to press like he doesn't have any idea how to stop doing it. Beomgyu shamelessly exploits it. 

"Why are you like this?" Yeonjun grumbles after one of Beomgyu's more obnoxious comments, standing up from the bench to toss the trash of the ice cream into the bins. He holds out a hand for Beomgyu's trash too, and returns after disposing of it. "Is this how you get your kicks? Pissing off your elders?"

"Yeah." Beomgyu confirms with a grin. "Does it bother you, grandpa?"

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. "You're so annoying."

"I know." Beomgyu shrugs. He's proud of it. It takes a special kind of talent to be able to wheedle under someone's skin and annoy them. Beomgyu likes to think he's quite the talented individual. "It's a talent."

"A curse." Yeonjun corrects, and he glances around the park. "Ah, we should get going. It's getting dark."

The sky was bleeding a pretty, warm orange, and when Yeonjun stretched his arms above his head and rolled out his shoulders, it shone a pretty gold on his warm skin. When the breeze caught in the blond strands of his hair, lifting it almost playfully, they, too, shone gold. 

Pretty. Beomgyu thought, blinking at him. Yeonjun is pretty.

Choi Yeonjun is very pretty. He was pretty, and charming, and he was sociable and well-liked. He had no issues speaking to people, and even seemed to enjoy it more than Beomgyu ever would. Beomgyu was exhausted when he talked to anyone for too long--it was the INFJ in him, he supposes. Yeonjun didn't have that issue. He was a social butterfly.

It posed the question of why he had grown a crush on Beomgyu, of all people. They were the furthest thing from compatible. Beomgyu was too quiet, too fond of his alone time, too much in his own head for Yeonjun to possibly find him interesting. Maybe Yeonjun just thought Beomgyu was pretty. He wasn't shy or unaware that he was attractive. Beomgyu knew he had pretty features, and he knew that when he really wanted to, he could leave people stunned with how pretty he could pull himself together.

The crush had to be something shallow. Yeonjun couldn't actually like Beomgyu, he must just like how Beomgyu looks. That must be it. That had to be it. Maybe Yeonjun just had leftover fondness for him because of the single time they’d drunkenly fooled around in the party Kai had dragged him too. Nothing else made sense.

"Yeah, let's go." Beomgyu stood up too, brushing off the dirt from the back of his pants. "I should get started on that assignment I've been putting off."

Yeonjun hums. "That essay you told me about? Or the proposal for the project that's due in two days?"

Beomgyu stares at him. "The proposal...how did you remember that?"

"I pay attention to what you say." The older boy shrugs. "You were bitching about it enough it's starting to stress me out and I'm not even taking the class. Do you have a draft done, at least?"

Beomgyu shakes his head. He has never been good at pre-planning his assignments, hard as he might try. Planning was one of those necessary skills that had never quite made sense to him. Beomgyu preferring to let the pressure of the impending deadlines pressure him into crossing the finish line. Some call it procrastination, Beomgyu calls it working well under pressure. Besides, his best work comes when he feels the noose tightening around his neck, so to speak.

Soobin says it's unmedicated ADHD, but Soobin is taking psychology courses like a nerd, and he's going through a phase where he thinks he can diagnose every one of his friends with something. The other day, he had concluded that Heeseung has social anxiety, and Heeseung had just stared at him for a long time until Soobin felt too embarrassed to continue.

What does Soobin even know about ADHD? 

"You're cutting it a little close." Yeonjun frowned, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, shivering when a cold breeze brushed him.

"I work best under pressure." Beomgyu defends. "And besides, I can't concentrate. It’s like my brain sees the document and forgets every word it's ever learned."

"You should come over." 

"What?"

"Come over." Yeonjun suggests casually. "Maybe a change of environment might help. You can study at my place while I clean. That way, if you get distracted, I can nag you to focus."

Beomgyu weighs the pros and cons of this, and then shrugs. "Yeah, okay. Can I come over tonight? I think I wanna try to crank out the proposal before tomorrow."

"Isn't it a bit late?" Yeonjun is frowning. "You'll miss the bus home if you aren't careful."

"Can't I just stay the night?" Beomgyu knows its evil, he knows he shouldn't, but he also knows that if he treats Yeonjun any different from how he treats his other friends, he'll be making a bigger deal out of something that doesn't quite matter. Beomgyu doesn’t hesitate to spend the night with his other friends, so he won’t treat Yeonjun any differently. He pouts and sets his biggest, pleading eyes on the older boy. "You'll house me for the night, won't you Yeonunnie-hyung?"

Yeonjun doesn't even try to say no.

They stop by Beomgyu's shared apartment first so he can grab what he needs for the night, and Yeonjun patiently waits with Kai in the living room while Beomgyu shoves his laptop, a change of clothes, and everything else he needs for overnight into a backpack and slings it over his shoulders, and when they make it to Yeonjun's small apartment, all Yeonjun does is gesture for Beomgyu to make himself comfortable while he crouches down and greets the fluffy calico that had come running to greet him. She makes the cutest chirp Beomgyu has ever heard, a sound he hadn't even known she was capable of, when she sees Yeonjun. To Beomgyu's surprise, Vivienne looking at Beomgyu doesn't make her hiss, but he swears the cat glares at him a little harder. Beomgyu doesn't pay her any attention aside from glaring right back at her, and she steadily ignores his presence in favor of trotting off ahead of Yeonjun as he goes into the kitchen. 

"Make yourself at home, but get your shit done. I'm going to clean up. If Vivienne tries to eat anything you grab for yourself though, don't let her."

Beomgyu moves into the living room, twisting his body around to see that Yeonjun is rummaging through some storage cabinets. "When did you become a cat expert? What happened to not having any idea what to do with one?"

"Taehyun-ah said human food isn't good for cats." Yeonjun admits, sounding a little sheepish. "I've been asking him a lot of questions."

"Taehyun doesn't like me." Beomgyu muses. "That's two cats that don't like me."

"Don't let him hear you call him that." Yeonjun warns. There's a sound of a can opening, and the happiest squeak from Vivienne followed by a steady, quiet purr. "Here you go, pretty girl. I made you wait a whole twenty minutes, didn't I? Poor thing."

Beomgyu's nose wrinkles at the gooey tone Yeonjun uses to speak to Vivienne. Its softer than he usually speaks, much more affection. It drips with honey, and it makes Beomgyu feel weird. Who knew Yeonjun could sound so...doting? It doesn’t suit him.

"I just think it's weird that both of your cats hate me." Beomgyu says loudly. "What are you teaching them, hyung? What kind of slander are you spreading about me?"

"I told them you're a dog person." Yeonjun teases, suddenly closer. Beomgyu looks up in time to see Yeonjun place a bottle of water down beside him, and thanks him quietly. "You kind of look like one, actually. Like a puppy."

Then, Yeonjun noops the tip of Beomgyu's nose with his index finger, giggling when Beomgyu reels back and goes cross eyed.

"Cute." Yeonjun coos, and then leaves Beomgyu to his studying.

True to his word, Yeonjun moves around quietly in his apartment, tidying up. He puts a load of laundry in and while that runs, Beomgyu reluctantly gets to work. It goes better than expected. Surprisingly, Beomgyu manages to get a half-decent draft of his project proposal written up with only minimal nagging on Yeonjun's behalf, and the older boy had only needed to gently knock his knuckles on the top of Beomgyu's head once to get him back on task. The only hiccup is when Beomgyu takes a quick stretch break, stiff from being hunched over his laptop for too long, and suddenly something is hopping up onto the coffee table beside his laptop.

Beomgyu instinctively goes to swat Vivienne away, and only stops when she slaps his hand with her paw, keeping it raised when Beomgyu snatches his hand back. 

They stare at each other for a heartbeat, and then Beomgyu narrows his eyes at her. Vivienne's tail swishes. "That was uncalled for. I've done nothing to you."

Vivienne doesn't answer him, but she doesn't lower her paw either. The small, dainty, cute little paw stays poised in the air, and Beomgyu realizes she's slowly inching forward. Offended, Beomgyu swats at her paw in the air, only to receive a sharp nip to his finger and another slap of her paw. The offended gasp he makes draws Yeonjun's attention to the duo. 

"What happened?" He asks, concerned. The concern is quickly replaced by a snicker though when he comes around the corner of the sofa and sees the standoff Beomgyu is currently having with Vivienne Westwood, widowed, full time Beomgyu Anti. Her paw is still raised and her tail is swishing side to side like crazy, while Beomgyu is leaning back away from her because he knows firsthand how sharp her claws are, his own hand raised in defense. Beomgyu has never fought a cat before, but he supposes there's a first time for everything. "What are you doing?"

Beomgyu really doesn't appreciate the amusement in Yeonjuns voice. It's entirely inappropriate for the situation at hand: Beomgyu's life is in danger. Vivienne Westwood might actually be planning to kill him. There's too much cold, calculated evil behind those big, green kittenish eyes of hers. Beomgyu is a feminist, and he knows how scary his friends can be. Beomgyu won't make the mistake of underestimating Vivienne just because she's a girl cat. If anything, he would go as far as to say she's more capable of atrocities because of her gender. Beomgyu has never feared for his life when he was interacting with a boy cat.

"I'm not doing anything. Your cat is the one that came over and decided to bully me!"

Vivienne demonstrated her plans by reaching out and smacking Beomgyu's raised hand, hissing when Beomgyu leans forward.

Yeonjun chooses that moment to intervene, laughing. He puts his hands on Vivienne to pick her up. She twists around to bite him, and surprisingly, Yeonjun doesn't seem afraid. He just says, "Oops, sorry. It's okay. C'mere pretty girl." 

Vivienne surprises Beomgyu by allowing the touch, and even more so when she allows Yeonjun to bring her to his chest and settle his other arm under her bottom half for support. He stares at her, incredulous, as she goes from mean cat about to attack, to a cute, docile little fur ball in Yeonjun's arms.

"Oh, I see what you're playing at." Beomgyu tells her, voice serious and low. "I'm onto you."

Yeonjun says dryly, "Stop picking fights with my baby."

"You've only had her for like a month."

"So?" Yeonjun presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I liked you after knowing you for like an hour. The heart is a weird thing. Time has no meaning for love.”

Beomgyu just gapes, and when Yeonjun walks away laughing, Beomgyu is still staring slack jawed after him.

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

-

FOUR

"There's no stars in Seoul." Beomgyu whines on Tuesday morning, throwing himself down onto the sofa of his apartment. His roommates and best friends barely look up from their respective gaming consoles, Kai too engrossed in what sounds like Animal Crossing (there's a distinct little whoop from the tiny speakers), and Soobin waiting to be matched up with someone on the old PS4 he and Beomgyu had split the payment for. 

"There's too much pollution to see them." Kai agrees, another whoop echoing his words too cheerful for the topic. "And too many lights."

"I know." Beomgyu sighs into the cushions, lifting his head up and shooting a quick text response to Yeonjun. He had texted that he was 5 minutes away from the apartment complex. Soobin had been the one to suggest inviting Yeonjun to hang out with them on their weekly movie night. They'd set things up later, once Soobin finished his matches, but Yeonjun was going to be needing to be buzzed in soon. "It's not fair. I want to go stargazing."

"Why?" Soobin asks. His avatar is still idling in the waiting lobby. "Since when do you care about stars?"

"Since I saw a TikTok video this morning of a couple having a picnic under them."

Kai laughs, loud and squeaky. "That's so sad. You have no stars and no partner to romantically picnic under them with."

"You don't have to rub it in." Beomgyu sinks into the sofa further, willing it to swallow him whole to avoid this bullying.

"We're just keeping you humble." Soobin defends Kai, laughing too. "Maybe worry about getting a date before you worry about stargazing."

"I could get a date." Beomgyu glares at Soobin. Yeonjun texts that he's on his way up—apparently, he'd snuck into the elevator when someone else was already opening it. "I bet Yeonjun-hyung would take me stargazing."

Soobin looks away from his game, arching a quizzical brow at Beomgyu. "Yeah, because he's in love with you."

"He has a crush on me." Beomgyu stresses. "It's not that serious."

"And you don't like him back." Soobin counters. "So, you wouldn't have the same experience under the stars, anyway."

Kai adds his two-cents in. "Yeah, plus, that's a really romantic date to just casually expect the guy that has feelings for you to take you on, knowing you don't return them. That's kind of shitty to take advantage of him like that."

"I'm not taking advantage of him!" Beomgyu's voice rises in defensiveness. "Who even asked him on a date? I was just saying that hypothetically, he would totally do that for me!"

"Because he's in love with you." Kai agreed. "And the guy can't say no to you."

"What? Yes, he can. He says no to me all the time."

"Not on important shit." Soobin closes out the game without waiting for the next match, surprising Beomgyu. He doesn't like where this conversation is going. "He was supposed to be busy today, you know."

Beomgyu starts to shake his head, only for Kai, the traitor, to agree. "Yeah. It's all over his socials. There's some kind of networking event going on for the creatives. He was invited. Look." And he hands Beomgyu his phone.

Its open to a Instagram post. Yawnzzning is listed under the guests in the caption, and its clear from the description that the event organizer was excited to see the guests. The event was that night, and it would start in under an hour. Yeonjun should've been on the way to the venue, not knocking on Beomgyu's front door.

Beomgyu drops Kai's phone in his scramble to stand, ignoring the way Kai complains. he rushes to the front door, throwing it open a little too eagerly. 

There Yeonjun is, dressed comfortably in loose-fitted grey cargo pants and a shirt in a similar tone that outlines the curve of his waist, the sleeves cuffed on his bicep. His hair is wind-swept and he's absentmindedly trying to flatten the dry, blonde strands down when he notices Beomgyu, and he smiles. "Hey! Let me in, I'm cold."

Beomgyu doesn't step aside. Instead, he stares at Yeonjun. "You're supposed to be at an event tonight."

"You know about that?" Yeonjun looks pleasantly surprised. "I thought you weren't on social media? You never post. Choi Beomgyu, are you a lurker?"

"Kai told me." Beomgyu says. "Why didn't you go?"

"You asked if I wanted to hang out." Yeonjun explains, frowning now. He tilts his head, confused. "Did you change your mind?"

"I asked if you were busy, and you said you weren't." He knows he should drop it, but there's a guilty swoop in his stomach. Had Yeonjun changed his plans for him? It's starting to seem like he has, and Beomgyu doesn't like the implications of that. He doesn't like how much importance that implies that he has in Yeonjun's life, doesn't like that this is something that makes Beomgyu feel dread gnaw at his stomach. This is something Beomgyu would expect from a boyfriend, not a friend. "Why did you lie?"

The older boy furrows his brows. "Are you mad at me? You sound like you're mad at me."

"Did you cancel your plans for me?" 

Yeonjun struggles to find an answer. "Yes and no? Don't say it like that. It was a boring event I was dreading anyway. There are dozens more I can go to. Hanging out with you sounded more fun."

Beomgyu feels upset, and he doesn't know why. "Don't do that. Don't cancel plans for me."

For a moment, Yeonjun remains silent. Then, carefully and voice subdued, "I don't understand why you're upset with me over this."

Truthfully, Beomgyu doesn't know how to explain it either. He doesn't know what words to string together to explain what Soobin had implied just moments before, and how Yeonjun confirming that he had canceled his plans for Beomgyu doesn't feel like a purely platonic gesture. It doesn't feel like the gesture someone with a silly crush would make; it feels like a gesture someone with real, serious feelings would make for someone that is important to them. Beomgyu doesn't like Yeonjun like that. Beomgyu doesn't return his feelings. He doesn't want to face the reality that Yeonjun's feelings are deeper and more serious than Beomgyu has been treating them.

He doesn't like the guilt that sits in his gut when he thinks of the way he has been teasing Yeonjun about his crush on Beomgyu, how he has used the older boy's infatuation as a way to get what Beomgyu wants. It makes him feel sick to remember how Yeonjun always caves when Beomgyu pulls out the "but you like me" card, and how easy it was to convince Yeonjun to give him privileges Beomgyu wouldn't have expected otherwise. Kai’s words come back to haunt him: it’s shitty of Beomgyu to take advantage of Yeonjun like that.

But Beomgyu doesn't have the words for this. He doesn't have a way to vocalize it, so he just says, stiffly, "Just...don't do it again, okay? I don't want you canceling plans for me. It makes me feel weird."

Yeonjun hesitates, and then nods. His voice is quiet. "Okay. Should I leave?"

"No, you're already here." Now, Beomgyu tries to smile, and he knows it's not convincing. "C'mon. I'll let you pick the movie we watch, since you're our guest."

Yeonjun nods, and Beomgyu notices he won't look him in the eye as he makes his way into the quiet living room. Too late, Beomgyu realizes that he had been within perfect earshot of his friends, and Kai and Soobin were both shooting Beomgyu sharp looks. They greet Yeonjun politely though, and Kai makes room for him on the couch.

"Hi, Yeonjunnie-hyung. Do you want to see the progress on my island?"

-

Beomgyu makes a deal with himself: he's not going to be bringing up Yeonjun's crush on him anymore. As far as Beomgyu is concerned, Yeonjun had never asked him out, and had never casually confessed his feelings. Choi Yeonjun is just another friend of Beomgyu’s another person that has no romantic inclinations towards him. If Soobin was right, as Beomgyu was beginning to suspect he was, then Yeonjun's feelings ran deeper than just a crush, and Beomgyu wasn't cruel enough to abuse the knowledge of it.

So, he makes himself bite his tongue when he knows it would be easy to convince Yeonjun to say yes to him. He sulks like a normal person rather than extra cute to get his way, and when Yeonjun casually flirts with him, Beomgyu doesn't play along. Beomgyu stops his playful flirting, too. It was something he did with everyone, but he feels it's especially mean of him to do when his main motivator was getting a rise out of Yeonjun, and more often than not, getting a rise out of Yeonjun meant the other boy's face would blush red, and he wouldn't be able to look Beomgyu in the eye for a moment while he gathered his wits.

It's going well, and then Yeonjun has to ruin it.

He invites Beomgyu to come over, claiming he wanted company to watch a drama, and he felt guilty leaving Vivienne home alone, and Beomgyu had easily agreed. Yeonjun's taste in movies was interesting to say the least (what kind of grown man's favorite movie is Kung Fu Panda?), but Beomgyu always has a good time with Yeonjun, so he goes. When he arrives, Yeonjun rushes him into the dark apartment with a broad smile that morphs his entire features. It's an infectious joy, and Beomgyu feels excited.

The apartment is a mess. The sofa has been pushed to the wall, leaving the middle of the apartment empty save for the sprawl of blankets and pillows spread out before the television, which has also been pushed to along a wall. There's a stool holding up something at the edge of the world's biggest blanket nest Beomgyu has seen. 

Beomgyu can barely make out Yeonjun in the dark. "Did you forget to clean up or something? Why is it so messy in here?"

"C'mon." Yeonjun ignores Beomgyu's critical jab and pulls him into the blanket pile. "Close your eyes. I want to show you something."

"You realize how creepy this is, right?" Beomgyu complains as he closes his eyes. Yeonjun pushes on his shoulders until Beomgyu reluctantly lies on his back, his hands over his eyes. There are soft footsteps, a click of a button, and then Yeonjun muttering something to himself. "Hyung, can I open my eyes now? This is so sketchy."

"Go ahead. Look."

Beomgyu opens his eyes.

Oh.

Stars are spread out across the ceiling, soft little spatters of light. They stand out in the darkness of the apartment, and some dot the walls, too. Where he's lying, Beomgyu gets the perfect view of a small, compressed universe lighting up the ceiling of Choi Yeonjun's apartment. His breath catches in his throat, an unfamiliar weight settling in his chest. It grows heavier when he feels more than sees Yeonjun lay down a little bit away from him, not touching him. Yeonjun's voice is a soft chime in the otherwise quiet of the apartment.

"Cool, right?" Yeonjun whispers, "I found it online. These are actual constellations. I think they're from pictures taken from a conservatory, and this thing projects them."

Beomgyu doesn't recognize his own voice. "It's pretty."

"Yeah." Yeonjun sounds relieved. "I know there's no stars in Seoul, well, not easily seen stars anyway, but this is the next best thing, right?"

Beomgyu swallows. He won't turn to face Yeonjun, instead he maps out the projection of the constellations he recognizes. "How did you know I wanted to see this?"

"Soobin." Yeonjun explains, and Beomgyu doesn't need to hear anything else. He just stares up at the ceiling. That unfamiliar lurch of his stomach urges Beomgyu to turn to face Yeonjun.

Yeonjun is laying back on his side, his head turned to Beomgyu with a large, pleased smile. He grins even wider when he catches Beomgyu's eyes in the dark. The stars are in Yeonjun's eyes too, the lights soft in the dark irises of them. "You got a star projector for me?"

"It's for me, technically." Yeonjun corrects him, but he's still too soft in his words, too deliberate in his choice and deliverance. He's looking at Beomgyu with the stars in his eyes and if Beomgyu looks closer, he sees the hearts, too, and his stomach swoops. "You just gave me the idea. Do you like it?"

"Yeah." he's whispering. Yeonjun's eyes flick down, briefly, and then back up. "I like it a lot."

"Good." A pause, and Yeonjun swallows. "Good, I'm glad."

Yeonjun is very, very pretty under the stars, false as they are. Beomgyu knows the projections won't be as bright as the real thing, but he's sure even the actual stars must still pale in comparison to how pretty Yeonjun looks right now, bright and excited, smiling so wide it looks like it hurts. His mouth is pretty, too, lips drawn in the smile that crinkles his eyes up, and Beomgyu has a moment to wonder what it would be like to kiss them.

Ice goes down his spine at the same moment he feels pain in his leg.

"Jesus fucking christ!" He shrieks, sitting up and slapping at the fuzzy thing that has bitten his ankle, scrambling upright and clutching his pounding heart. 

Vivienne Fucking Westwood sits prim and proper where Beomgyu's ankle had been, her ear twitching. There's not a hint of remorse in her face for the early heart-failure she has almost sent Beomgyu into, and as he tries to return his heartbeat to a normal pace, he can hear Yeonjun breaking out into fits of giggles.

"Oh my god." Yeonjun gasps, laughing too much. Beomgyu looks over to see that he's thrown his arms over his eyes, his entire body shaking with his mirth. "You should've heard how you sounded. Oh my god, Beomgyu, what the fuck? She's just a cat, she's not the boogeyman. Why did you scream like that?"

Beomgyu's heart pounds beneath his palms. He's staring wide eyed at Yeonjun, and the blood rushes in his ears.

"Y-Yeonjun-hyung." He hears himself say, his voice shaky. Yeonjun ignores him, too busy laughing, and he only stops when Beomgyu repeats himself, sterner.

"What?" the boy wipes a tear from his eyes, still laying on his back. "Sorry, should I not have laughed? It was funny."

"Why did you do this?" Beomgyu ignores his question. "Why did you set this up?"

His questions seems to break through Yeonjun's leftover giggles, and he just stares at Beomgyu. He starts to frown. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you set this up?" Beomgyu repeats, voice hard. He doesn't understand why his heart won't calm down, but he thinks it has something to do with the way Vivienne is still staring him down not two feet from him. She could easily cross that distance.

"Soobin said you wanted to see the stars." Yeonjun replies, adorably confused. "Was he lying? You looked like you liked it before Vivienne scared you."

"Did he tell you why?" His hands clench into fists in his lap. "Did Soobin tell you why I wanted to see the stars?"

Yeonjun seems to finally pick up on the harsh tone Beomgyu is trying not to use, but failing. "He--"

"I wanted to go on a date. I saw a video online, and I wanted to go on a date under the stars." Beomgyu barrels on. Yeonjun blinks at him, starting to sit up slowly as Beomgyu winds himself up. "Did he--Did he tell you that? Is that why you did this? Is this a date? Choi Yeonjun, is this a date?"

"No." Yeonjun hesitates, "No, it wasn't. It's...not a date. I just thought you would want to see." He drops his eyes. "I mean, it could be, if you wanted it to be."

"I don't." He says harshly. Yeonjun starts to fiddle with the blankets he had spread out. "I don't want this to be a date. I told you I don't feel the same for you, and that hasn't changed. If your intention was to--"

"It wasn't." Yeonjun interrupts, voice stiff. "It wasn't my intention at all. Friends do things like this for each other. it doesn't have to be romantic. It wasn't intended to be."

"Friends don't go this far." Beomgyu shakes his head. "Friends don't--Friends don't set up what's supposed to be a romantic setting for the guy they have a crush on, and then pretend it's platonic. This--This isn't friend behavior. This is a date, and I already told you I didn't want to date you, and you're not respecting my decision."

"This isn't a date." Yeonjun repeated. Beomgyu is too wound up to hear the hurt edge to his voice, too wrapped up in the way his stomach is rolling and his heart is pounding to notice the quick swipe of Yeonjun's palm along his cheek. Beomgyu is staring at the projector, at the stars that have been set up because he had told Soobin he wanted to go on a date under the stars, and how Yeonjun had orchestrated it s perfectly Beomgyu couldn't breath. "I know you don't feel the same, Beomgyu. I wasn't trying to trick you into anything. I wouldn't do that. You know I wouldn't do that to you."

"No, I don't. I don't know what you would or wouldn't do. You already cancel important plans for me, and you adopted a cat because of me, and--" Beomgyu feels the said cat start to creep up, sniffing the air cautiously and approaching him. He doesn't think when he reaches out and firmly pushes her away from him with his foot, and it's just a nudge, but Yeonjun reacts like Beomgyu has kicked Vivienne. 

He scoops her up into his arms, holding her close, and he looks at Beomgyu, eyes wide and lips pursed into a tight line. "I get that you're upset with me, but you can't just--"

"Do you know why I'm upset, though?" Beomgyu challenges. The stars are still shining on the ceiling, the apartment still quiet, and Beomgyu hears the blood rushing in his ears. There should have been a blackhole projected on the ceiling, something that would swallow all of the mass in the room so Beomgyu doesn’t feel the weight of this night on his shoulders. He feels so inexplicably angry, cornered and upset, and Choi Yeonjun is staring at him with hurt in his eyes, and he's holding the stupid cat that hates Beomgyu, and the cat is glaring at him, too. "I'm upset because you--you just told me you have feelings for me, and then you wouldn't leave me alone, and you just pretended like you weren't pushing them onto me all the time we hung out. You just--You just wouldn't let me forget it, like you were expecting me to change my mind if you were persistent enough, and now this! Now this stupid stargazing date, and—" He's losing steam, but he barrels on, because his chest feels lighter the more he says this. Vivienne's eyes are spurring him on, the wide green eyes that have been the bane of Beomgyu's existence since he started working that job.

Beomgyu has never hated an animal before, but he thinks he feels the closest thing to it for Vivienne Westwood the cat. All she has done was bring trouble onto him in the shape of Choi Yeonjun's burdensome feelings for him. 

"I'll be clear. I don't like you like that. I won't ever like you like that. You're not the type of person I would like. You're a good friend, but I can't—I can't see myself ever wanting you like that. We're not compatible. We would clash too much, and it would never work, and..." Vivienne Westwood's face jerks up, breaking the stare she had been engaging with Beomgyu, and he follows her gaze as he finishes his sentence. "...and I want you to just stop this already.”

Vivienne Westwood squirms, a light, protesting meow coming from her.

Yeonjun is facing straight ahead, but his eyes are averted to the side, staring at the ground to Beomgyu's right. He nods once, sharply, and says, "I understood you clearly the first time." 

Vivienne protests again, drawing Yeonjun's attention back to her, and the tension of his arms around her eases as Yeonjun murmurs an apology to her. Vivienne shifts until she's digging her nails into Yeonjun's chest, and though Yeonjun winces, he doesn't stop her. He just presses another kiss to her head, and sniffles.

Beomgyu freezes at the sound. 

His own words come back to him as Yeonjun slowly stands up and makes his way to the projector, still holding the cat, and then to the light switch. They temporarily blind Beomgyu as the room is suddenly much, much brighter. He blinks, and Yeonjun is turning back to him, his cheeks red, his nose the same, and his voice is watery and barely level when he says, "I think we should call it a night. I'm really tired, actually."

Oh.

Beomgyu slowly gets to his feet. "D-Did I make you cry?"

Yeonjun shakes his head, lying, because in the bright apartment lighting, Beomgyu sees the stain on his red cheeks where he hadn't been quick enough to stop the tears. "No. I'm fine. I'm sorry, for making you think that this was...It wasn't a date. I didn't plan to change your mind, or...trick you. It was just...I just thought it would be nice. I'm sorry. I should've thought about how it would seem before I did anything. I'll—I’ll be more mindful from now on."

Beomgyu doesn’t have a response, and he doesn't have an answer for why the pounding in his chest hasn't faded away, or why his throat feels so tight, or why his stomach is swooping with guilt, or why the way Yeonjun furiously blinks away the tears and grows frustrated with himself when it doesn't work makes him uncomfortable, so Beomgyu leaves.

-

[A transcription of a phone call between Wooyoung and Yeonjun: 

Wooyoung: Hey! Did you need--are you crying? What's wrong?

Yeonjun: [Indecipherable crying.]

Wooyoung: Are you okay? Are you home? Did something happen to Vivienne?

Yeonjun: No. Come over.

Wooyoung: Okay. Can I bring San? He's worried about you.

Yeonjun: No. Just you, please. I'm--I'm already humiliated enough. I wasn't trying to do anything, but--but he thought-- [Crying] Just you, please. You know I would never. You know I'm not someone to push. I don't--San might think--

Wooyoung: I'm on my way. Sannie is staying here.]

FIVE

Beomgyu spots Yeonjun out grabbing coffee with Kang Taehyun, and there's a bright smile on his face. Taehyun is laughing so much he throws his whole body into Yeonjun's arm, and Yeonjun flicks the boy's forehead with a roll of his eyes. It's so normal, and upbeat, and Beomgyu freezes when he catches sight of them. They're coming out of the cafe Beomgyu was about to walk into, and he considers turning and pretending he had never seen them when Yeonjun looks up and locks eyes with him.

For just a moment, Choi Yeonjun's eyes widen, and a flash of panic fills them as he looks around like he's trying to find an exit, and then Beomgyu blinks, and Yeonjun is still staring at him, but this time he looks a little calmer, more subdued. Kang Taehyun, on the other hand, spots Beomgyu and the glare he sends his way could wilt an entire flowershop. Beomgyu cringes at the venom in it, but it's deserved. 

"Hey." It's Yeonjun that greets him first, his voice bright and upbeat, and forced. "How did that exam go? That was today, right?"

Beomgyu can only nod. "Yeah. It...It went well. It was easier than I thought."

"That's good." Yeonjun smiles at him, and then steps to the side. He shakes his arm like he's about to shake of Taehyun, who hasn't stopped clinging to him. "Let go, my arm is going numb."

Taehyun rolls his eyes but does so. "You're dramatic."

"You're not aware of your own strength." Yeonjun chides, and then he says to Beomgyu, still casual. "This kid can deadlift my weight, and he acts like he doesn't have the grip strength to bruise me. Don't believe a single word he says."

"Can I talk to you?" He blurts, regretting it instantly when Taehyun doesn't even wait a beat to deadpan, "No, you can't."

Beomgyu stares at Taehyun, then Yeonjun who is beginning to look uncomfortable. 

"If it's about the other night..." Yeonjun starts awkwardly, scratching his nose. "Don't even worry about it. I can see how it might've looked like I was trying to make a move, but I swear I wasn't. It really was just meant to be friendly. You already said you weren't interested, and I wasn't trying to change your mind. I'm sorry for making it seem like I was, that was on me. I should've known better."

Beomgyu starts to shake his head. "No, I shouldn't have assumed--"

Taehyun snorts, drawing attention back to himself. "No, you shouldn't have. Yeonjun-hyung wouldn't do that, and if you were really his friend, you would know that."

Okay, that was a deserved jab. Beomgyu feels a little bruise to his own ego at the comment, but he can't disagree with it. "I know. I'm sorry. I just started panicking, but I shouldn't have assumed."

"Don't worry about it." The older boy waves him off, and he reaches out to ruffle Beomgyu's head, drawing back quickly where he might've lingered before. "We're cool, right?"

"Yeah." The swoop in his stomach is back, the nausea at the way Yeonjun nods at him and steps back. "We're cool."

"Cool." Yeonjun nods again, and then he turns away from Beomgyu and waves. "I'll see you around, then. I'm meeting up with some friends, and we're already running a bit late."

Just like that, Yeonjun leaves.

He doesn't linger or extend the invite to meet up to Beomgyu.

-

Two weeks later, Beomgyu is three hours into his shift when Yeonjun walks into the Calico Catfe with a red beanie on his head, his hair hidden away in it, and dressed in a sweater far too big for him and jeans that look like they're moulded to his legs. Beomgyu doesn't stare, but he hasn't really seen Yeonjun in pants that aren't baggy before.

"Hey!" Yeonjun chirps when he gets to the counter. Beomgyu starts punching in the order for an americano as Yeonjun grins wider, holding out his card. "Are you busy tomorrow?"

Beomgyu pauses as he grabs the cup, then shakes his head. "No...Why?"

"Come shopping with me?" Yeonjun asks, leaning over the counter. He's grinning at Beomgyu like nothing has changed, like there hadn't been a good four days when conversation had been stiff between them and Yeonjun had smiled a little too bright to be real. It's more genuine now, his posture more relaxed. It's almost like the first few times Yeonjun had walked into the Catfe, and he'd teased Beomgyu while waiting for his coffee, and Beomgyu hadn't known that Choi Yeonjun harbored feelings for him.

"Was everyone else busy?" Beomgyu asks, half curious but half just to tease.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes. "Actually, Wooyoung is coming too, but I figured I'd ask if you wanted to hang out since it's been a while."

"Oh." Beomgyu feels a little smile tug on his lips, and he thinks maybe things are back to normal. "Yeah. Sure. It sounds like fun. Should I meet you there, or..."

"I'll swing by to pick you up. I have to return something to Kai anyway." Yeonjun takes the americano when Beomgyu finishes ringing him up, and he waves as he leaves. "See you tomorrow! Be ready by eleven!"

Beomgyu is ready by ten, and sitting anxiously at the foot of his bed, tapping his foot and checking the time on his phone. Yeonjun is supposed to be here soon, and Beomgyu had already sent a text saying that he was ready early because he hadn't slept well. Part of that is a lie--Beomgyu really hadn't slept well at all, but he also had gotten ready early because, truthfully, he's excited to hang out with his friend again. He hadn't thought he would miss Yeonjun's company as much as he did, but Beomgyu found himself craving the easy banter they had shared before. He misses the way the older boy had teased him and played along with his games.

So, Beomgyu waits anxiously, and when there's finally a knock on the front door, he jumps to his feet. Beomgyu comes out to the sight of Yeonjun handing off what looks like a sweater to Kai, and he frowns, but neither Yeonjun nor Kai seem inclined to inform him about what's going on. Kai just waves at Yeonjun and retreats to his own room, and Beomgyu stops in his tracks.

Yeonjun in jeans today and the nike sneakers he likes to wear, as well as a white hoodie underneath a light denim jacket, and his hair is shoved into a white beanie. He's got his hands in his pockets, and his earrings are his usual hoops. It's not an odd look, but Beomgyu halts in his tracks anyways. He'd thrown on basically the same outfit, in darker colors. Beomgyu's jeans and denim jacket were charcoal in color, and his hoodie was black as opposed to Yeonjun's white. They're wearing the exact same shoes, though. Yeonjun seems to notice their similarities at the same time that Beomgyu does, and he laughs. 

"We match." Yeonjun giggles into his hand. "I've always wanted to do a matching look with someone. Are you ready?"

Beomgyu remains frozen for a moment before he shakes his head and retreats to his room. Yeonjun calls after him, but Beomgyu ignores him, rushing to his closet and frantically trying to choose anything else. Anything, Beomgyu thinks desperately as he skims through his clothes. Anything that doesn't look like they're attempting a couple look.

In the end, Beomgyu swaps out his closer fitted jeans for cargo pants, and decides to swap out the jacket with a warm grey flannel he liked to wear, and finally goes out. Yeonjun is still standing in the doorway, but he's tapping at his phone with a frown. When he looks up at Beomgyu, his expression shutters, and his grip on his phone tightens enough for Beomgyu to notice the white knuckled grip. He freezes, unsure of what's going on, and then Yeonjun takes a deep breath.

When he exhales, his voice is forced calm. "I wasn't implying we looked like a couple."

"I--That's not--" Beomgyu stammers, and Yeonjun shakes his head, pocketing his phone.

"Wooyoung is waiting for us." He says, turning his back to Beomgyu. "C'mon."

Beomgyu has the distinct feeling he has messed up somehow.

The feeling only gets worse when they meet up with Wooyoung, and the older boy gives him an unimpressed once over before he starts to smile, and introduce himself. Beomgyu tries not to feel self conscious, but it's difficult when Yeonjun seems to have decided that he was going to put space between him and Beomgyu, deliberate space. Beomgyu wouldn't have noticed if Yeonjun hadn't started shying away from him when they brush sides, or when he catches Yeonjun staring at him, only for Yeonjun to drop his gaze the second he realizes he's been caught. 

Shopping is still fun, but Beomgyu doesn't feel comfortable voicing his opinions. He doesn't think it'd be welcome anymore. Even when Yeonjun comes out in a pretty skirt, his fingers smoothing over it anxiously as he asked for opinions, Beomgyu remained silent. He wanted to say You look pretty, but he bit his tongue. Yeonjun wouldn't want to hear that with this new tension between them, and Beomgyu is afraid of shattering this fragile peace between them.

By the time the trip is over, and Yeonjun is walking with Beomgyu back to his apartment, Yeonjun seems to be acting more like himself. He's making jokes again, and shoving Beomgyu lightly, and Beomgyu is so relieved he doesn't notice how close they had gotten to his building until Yeonjun is stopped right before it, waiting for Beomgyu to get inside.

"See you tomorrow?" Beomgyu asks hopefully.

Yeonjun shakes his head, "I'm busy tomorrow, but the next day I'll come have lunch with you and your friends? Do you mind if I bring San and Wooyoung? They're a little annoyed that Taehyun is the only one that has met them all."

"That's fine." He immediately agrees, because this is good. This is Beomgyu making friends, and this is what is needed to get back to normal.

He goes to bed that night feeling more at peace than he had woken up.

-

They decide to meet up at the hotpot place Heeseung never shuts up about, and when Yeonjun confirms that he received the address from Beomgyu, he sets his phone aside and immerses himself in the conversation. His friends are all surprisingly excited to meet with Yeonjun and his friends. They'd had to request a big booth to accommodate the number of people coming, and the server had been nice enough to listen. There was plenty of room, and though Beomgyu was partially dreading what could be a disastrous meeting, another part of him was excited. Giddy, even.

Wooyoung trickles in first, followed by his boyfriend, and then shortly after Taehyun shows up with Yeonjun. They are, once again, locked in a discussion, except this time, Taehyun keeps gesturing to the hat on top of Yeonjun's head. He gestures for Yeonjun to remove it and only received a shake of his head, and by the time they approach the table in the quickly filling hotpot restaurant, Beomgyu can just start to make out their voices.

"I don't understand why you won't just show it."

"It looks stupid, Taehyun. They cut it too short. I don't like it."

"It looks fine!"

Yeonjun shakes his head, and Taehyun huffs with annoyance and the slides in beside Soobin, greeting him enthusiastically while Yeonjun sits across from Beomgyu grimacing. Beomgyu asks, "What are you and Taehyun fighting about?"

"My hair." Yeonjun grumbles. "I went in to get a haircut, and they went too short with it. I feel stupid now."

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

Yeonjun glares at him, and then grabs the side of the beanie like he was physically preventing Beomgyu from ripping it off of his head. To be fair, Beomgyu had been debating exactly that, and he pouted a little when he realized his plans had been prematurely foiled.

"Can I at least see?"

"No."

"Taehyun got to see!"

"Taehyun went with me to get it done." Yeonjun turns away from Beomgyu, starting to grab the food. "Otherwise no one would see this until it grows back."

"You act like they shaved you bald." Taehyun chimes in, rolling his eyes. "You're just pouting because they told you your hair was fried."

"They didn't have to be so mean about it!" Yeonjun argued, his voice taking on a whiny tone that makes a few people giggle. Wooyoung, in particular, seems to find it funny that Yeonjun is sulking. He reaches out and Yeonjun slaps his hand away, another one securing his hat. "Don't."

"You know," Jimin says, "The bigger deal you make out of it, the more we want to know."

"Well, stop trying to see it then." Yeonjun says stubbornly.

Beomgyu tilts his head. He'll admit to his curiosity, and he'll admit that maybe the soju he'd already started drinking before Yeonjun had shown up with his friends might be making him brave, or stupid. He waits until Yeonjun is caught in another petty squabble, this time with Soobin, before quickly reaching over and grabbing the top of the beanie and ripping it right off of Yeonjun's head.

The table laughs when Yeonjun squawks in dignantly, reaching for Beomgyu immediately and swearing, and Beomgyu is cackling too, because Yeonjun is too easy to bother. 

"I hope you rot." Yeonjun hisses at Beomgyu when he finally gets the beanie back, and Beomgyu finally looks at him, really looks, and he is stunned by the side of the dark black hair on Yeonjun's head.

"You dyed your hair?" He blurts. "I thought you said you cut it?"

"I did both." Yeonjun shoved the hat back on, leaning back and sulking. "The blonde was getting hard to keep up with, so I just decided to go back to my natural color. I'm gonna let it grow out more. It's not a big deal, okay?"

"Let me see again." Beomgyu demands, still caught up on the slight glimpse he had caught of Yeonjun's dark hair, messy as it was. He reaches out again, and this time when Yeonjun slaps his hand away, it actually stings a little. Beomgyu plops back into his seat, rubbing at his hand and staring wounded at Yeonjun. "We already saw! C'mon, huyng."

"I said no." Yeonjun snaps, and aggressively stabs his chopsticks into the meat they had ordered. Beomgyu startles at the tone. "Just drop it, Beomgyu. Please."

Beomgyu drops it, feeling chided, and a little dizzy. He must've drank more than he had thought.

-

It seems apt for the thread of Beomgyu’s sanity to snap at a fundraiser for the LGBTQ Club on campus. It’s poetic, almost. What better setting for Beomgyu to face the full force of his tragic gay demise than in the middle of what looks to be a small art gallery composed of the university’s art department.

They say that memories are stronger when there’s strong emotional impact. Looking back, Beomgyu won’t remember the exact details of the event besides how nice he had found the art he had seen, and how he had almost purchased a print of an ink drawing he liked, but he would perfectly remember the exact moment things went downhill.

Beomgyu knows that his stomach had been growling because the smell of sizzling tteokkochi was calling to him, and that he could hear the voices that were a dull roar in the background of the upbeat pop playlist that was playing over the speakers. He remembers the taste of the matcha he had bought from a classmate that shared his mandatory social science class, and he remembers the way his nose had itched and he had reached up to scratch at it absentmindedly. He was at peace, unaware of what was to come.

Huh Yunjin came up to him, from somewhere, asking him questions and thanking him for coming to the event. She was the president of the club, and she ran it alongside Yeonjun, she said. They worked together to get this event going. “I’ve heard so much about you.” Yunjin had said to Beomgyu, her eyes crinkling.

“It’s a really cool event.” Beomgyu remembers saying politely, meaning it. “Have you met the goal yet?”

“Almost.” Yunjin had waved a hand towards a table with a small line of students. “We’re holding a raffle over there for an Everland pass. You should go enter!” And then she had shouted, “Ya! Yeonjun! Show your friend how to get a raffle ticket!”

Huh Yunjin had left after that, leaving Beomgyu smiling curiously and turning to the mentioned table, searching out Yeonjun’s blonde head of hair curiously, only to not find it. He had frowned, taking a few steps closer, before he realized that someone was coming toward him. He looked at their face on instinct, and Beomgyu can still hear the ringing of his ears when he had caught sight of Choi Yeonjun.

It was the dark hair that Beomgyu noticed first, the sleek black strands of it styled to fall around his face as best as it could with the short length and the undercut. It showed off the silver piercings in his ears perfectly, and the elegant line of his throat. Beomgyu had forgotten that Yeonjun had dyed his hair; he had forgotten a lot of things, especially his own name and how to breathe, because the hair was devastating enough to Beomgyu’s fragile sensibilities. What did the final, terrible knock out was the pretty blue vest Yeonjun wore, golden skin of his arms exposed as he waved to Beomgyu, and the frayed denim skirt high on his waist, printed with roses on it, letting the long long line of his legs show before they disappears into the black boots.

Beomgyu knows he could feel the beat of his heart in his throat, could taste the want in the saliva that started to pool in his mouth, and the weather was not to blame for the way Beomgyu felt a little too warm in his sweater, suddenly.

“Hey, Yunjin said you wanted to enter the raffle?” Yeonjun greeted him, his eyes glittery. He was in makeup, subtle glitter in the corner of his eyes. Beomgyu could whimper, if he could make a sound. Yeonjun took his silence as an answer, though. “I can get you set up, c’mon. How many ticket do you want to buy?”

Beomgyu doesn’t know how many tickets he ended up buying. He knows it was more than needed. He was too distracted by the entirety of Choi Yeonjun with the undercut and the skirt, and the way when he cocked his head to the side, Beomgyu could see the sharp line of his jaw, and the plush shape of his lips, and a change of hair should not change a man as drastically as Beomgyu feels it has changed Choi Yeonjun.

Beomgyu feels like a victim to the murder of his sanity.

The horrible thought takes hours to settle in his mind, only coming to him when he’s bad home, laying on his sofa like he’s having a therapy session with the television. It hits him like an intrusive thought: violently, and enough to leave him vaguely nauseous with horror.

Choi Yeonjun is hot. Choi Yeonjun is hot, and he’s no longer blonde, and now that the damn has been opened, Beomgyu realizes that Choi Yeonjun is exactly his type, and he had rejected him so coldly, Beomgyu could cry.

It’s not fair.

Why did Yeonjun have to do these dangerous things to Beomgyu’s poor, fragile gay heart?

-

The problem with Beomgyu realizing that Choi Yeonjun is Hot is that he's not the only one to notice it. Actually, he might just be the last to have noticed. In the middle of coping with the fact that the guy Beomgyu has been growing slowly closer to is actually very pleasant to look at, he forgets that he is the only one who is having the revelation. 

It's not that Beomgyu hadn't known that Yeonjun was attractive--Choi Yeonjun was pretty. Anyone with eyes could see that. Anyone with a working attraction to men would tell you that Yeonjun was one of the prettiest men on the planet. Hell, even those without an attraction to men could confirm this. So, Yeonjun's attractiveness is not the part that Beomgyu hadn't noticed. No, what Beomgyu suddenly notices is that he, personally, is finding Yeonjun a little too pretty. He finds that Yeonjun is no longer just pretty as a passing thought, a given fact like acknowledging that Yeonjun is tall or Yeonjun can dance, but that he is pretty in a way that ruins Beomgyu's ability to function without staring at Yeonjun's face and trying to memorize every curve and angle of his features. 

It's all the undercut's fault. Beomgyu is losing his mind, and Yeonjun doesn't even know it.

He goes on with his day as usual, completely oblivious to the way Beomgyu has to bite down on his knuckles to hold in a scream when he stretches himself out to crack his back on the back of a chair, and a sliver of skin is exposed between his shirt and his pants. Yeonjun doesn't seem to know that when he absentmindedly combs back his hair with his fingers when it falls into his face, Beomgyu fists his hands tightly to stop himself from moving it back himself. He doesn't know that when he stares off into space because he's bored, Beomgyu is staring right at him, unblinking, and trying to stop the screaming in his head that only says pretty pretty pretty Choi Yeonjun when the fuck did you get so fucking pretty?

All in all, Beomgyu thinks he's coping rather well with this new revelation. 

But, again, the problem is not that Beomgyu suddenly sees Yeonjun as hot. The problem is that other people have also acknowledged Yeonjun's assets, and Beomgyu has suddenly taken notice to the way others take notice of Yeonjun.

Another problem arises when he realizes that other people experience free will, and they exercise that free will to do what Beomgyu hadn't even considered doing, because he is a coward above all else.

It happens when they're waiting for Heeseung to finish up with his football practice. They're sitting on the cold steel bleachers, Beomgyu huddled up in his jacket and his hoodie, only barely keeping warm while Yeonjun is sitting comfortably warm in his jacket. He doesn't even shiver, the asshole, while Beomgyu is trying hard to keep his teeth from chattering. He has always gotten cold easily, and it's extra bad today with the icy wind.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go back home?" Yeonjun asks him for the fifth time, eyeing him when a particularly cold breeze hits Beomgyu like it had a vendetta. "You look like you're freezing."

"I'm fine." Beomgyu insists, though he hugs himself tighter and shoves his hands under his armpits to warm them up. His pockets aren't cutting it anymore. "How are you not cold?"

"Good genes." Yeonjun teases, then says, "Do you want me to go see if someone has a blanket?"

"No." He shakes his head, mortified. "No, I'm fine. I'll go numb soon, anyway, and then I won't feel the cold."

Yeonjun's face grows concerned. "I'm going to text Heeseung that we'll wait for him inside."

"No!" Beomgyu whines. "No, I said we'd be here for his practice. He's nervous!"

"He's a big boy. He can handle a practice without a cheerleader in the stands."

"I promised." Beomgyu shakes his head, aware of how petulant he sounds. "I can't break my promise like that."

Yeonjun sighs, but nods. "Fine. C'mere though."

"Why?" Beomgyu asks even as he scoots closer to Yeonjun at his gesture.

"Body heat." Yeonjun explains, and their sides are pressed together. Yeonjun doesn't wrap an arm around Beomgyu like he had expected, and he finds that he feels mildly disappointed by that. He would've been much warmer if he'd been hugged. Instead, Yeonjun just slips his hand out of his pocket and gestures for Beomgyu to stick his own hands in, and when he does, he sighs in relief at the warm of the pocket. Did Yeonjun run warm?

Beomgyu scoots himself a little closer, and they're flush against each other.

"Better?"

"Better."

Satisfied, Yeonjun turns his attention back to Heeseung's football practice, occasionally answering a text on his phone. It's a comfortable silence, and eventually Beomgyu does grow numb to the cold, though he doesn't take his hands out of Yeonjun's pocket even when he stops shivering. He likes being able to feel the tips of his fingers.

It's peaceful, and then someone ruins it.

It's a girl Beomgyu vaguely recognizes from one of his elective courses, Jisoo, or something like that. He remembers her as the quiet one that had lost point on her group project presentation because she hadn't been able to speak up when it was her turn to present, and Beomgyu had felt bad for her. Public speaking is rough, and he had the distinct feeling she was shy.

She wasn't acting very shy as she calls for Yeonjun from the bottom of the rows of bleachers, smiling up at him. She's not quiet here, either, Beomgyu notices. Jisoo flags down Yeonjun, and Yeonjun waves back at her, grinning just as wide.

"Yah, Choi Yeonjun!" Jisoo shouts. "Did you cut your hair?"

"Yeah." Yeonjun nods, and his grin takes on a more teasing edge. "What do you think? Is it hideous?"

"You know damn well that it isn't." 

Beomgyu keeps glancing between the two. There's a stir in his belly when Yeonjun doesn't turn to him, doesn't even pay attention to him as Jisoo keeps talking to him, rocking on the heels of her feet coyly. She's batting her eyelashes at Yeonjun, and she hasn't even bothered sparing Beomgyu a passing glance. It wouldn't bother him, really, because he doesn't really like talking to people, but something about the way Jisoo is smiling, and how Yeonjun is reciprocating, bothers him. Yeonjun goes as far as to lean forward and brace his arms on his knees, giggling when Jisoo makes a joke. From the field, there's a round of cheers, but Beomgyu doesn't know why because he's too busy staring.

"We should get together soon." Jisoo suggests to Yeonjun, and her smile takes on a shier edge. "If you're free. You've been a ghost."

Yeonjun says, "Absolutely. Just let me know when you're free, yeah? I've just been busy." The older boy pauses, and then he admits to Jisoo with a little awkward chuckle. "I got a cat. She's pretty demanding."

Jisoo melts. Beomgyu feels an irrational surge of rage. Why did Yeonjun have to mention the cat? Wheein has mentioned to Beomgyu plenty of times that men with cats are automatically dateable. As Wheein claims, men who can live happily with cats are sexy, because they understand boundaries. You’d be surprised how many men don’t know how to listen to boundaries, Wheein had nagged at Beomgyu. Men don’t like cats because they don’t like having to respect boundaries. He hadn’t fully believed it, not really, but Beomgyu knew that the fact remained that Choi Yeonjun had just become ten-times more attractive to Jisoo by mentioning he had a cat. Yeonjun should have kept his stupid, pretty mouth shut so Jisoo would stop eying him like she’s picturing him in a wedding tux at the altar, and liking what she sees.

"Oh, you have to show me her! I'd love to meet her. Ahh, Choi Yeonjun you're not fair. you can't be pretty and have a cat. That's too much power in a man." Jisoo whines cutely.

Yeonjun giggles, shy. He scratches the side of his nose. "Maybe you can meet her soon. I have pictures though, if you want to see her?"

"Ah, next time. I need to leave now, but I’m holding you to your promise. I'd better meet her." Jisoo waves, and she gives one last once over to Yeonjun before leaving.

Yeonjun must not have felt the daggers Beomgyu was staring into the side of his head. He  visibly startles when he turns back to Beomgyu and catches him already glaring at him. Beomgyu quickly smoothed his expression over, but Yeonjun has already seen his annoyance. He looks uncertain, the sweet shy expression he’d given Jisoo disappearing.

"What?" Yeonjun leans away from Beomgyu.

"I didn't know you knew each other."

A shrug. "We don't really, but a lot of people know me from the videos I make."

"So, people come up to you like you're their best friend a lot?" Beomgyu asks. Is this going to be a common occurrence? Is Yeonjun going to be approached a lot?

A horrible thought occurs to Beomgyu. Does the internet know that Choi Yeonjun has a cat? Does the internet hear how his voice grows tender when he talks to her? Oh, god how many people have fallen in love with Yeonjun already? Beomgyu has to know—he’ll go insane if he doesn’t. Who is he competing with? Beomgyu puts a stop to that thought before it fully forms.

Yeonjun frowns, unaware of Beomgyu’s dilemma. "I guess? I wouldn't exactly word it like that, but I try to be friendly."

"I see." Friendly. Beomgyu thinks, unsure why the word feels bitter. "I think you were right. It’s too fucking cold out here. Let's go inside?"

"I told you you'd be cold." Yeonjun chides, immediately standing up and fussing over Beomgyu as they excuse themselves from the bleachers. As they're leaving, Beomgyu glances around, and that's when he finally finally notices what he hadn't cared to notice before: There are groups of people that turn to watch them leave, some people who smile and wave at Yeonjun, and some that outright check him out.

Beomgyu presses himself closer to Yeonjun's side, unsure why.

-

It's a Saturday night, and Beomgyu is 4 drinks into the most disastrous karaoke night he has ever experienced. Soobin is drunkenly singing anime opening ballads to Taehyun and Kai, who are shrieking with laughter on the cushions, Taehyun actually doubled over with the force of his laughter. Kai is trying to sing along in between fits of giggles, but Soobin is far too passionate to share the stage when he goes through his rendition of “Bluebird” again, stumbling over the words but not letting that stop him. Something as silly as a language barrier has never stopped Soobin when he's drunk and singing. It was Beomgyu, Soobin, Kai, Taehyun, and Yeonjun that had come out—Wooyoung had elected to go on a date with his boyfriend over hanging out with them, and Heeseung had claimed to not need a hangover tomorrow because he had an early shift on Sunday morning. So, it was just them five, and it was still fun.

Usually, it was just Soobin, Kai, and Beomgyu, but the addition of Taehyun and Yeonjun was nice. They were still fun. Taehyun and Yeonjun had already taken the mic and sang a surprisingly good rendition of Kid Laroi's “Stay”, which is how Beomgyu discovered the dup were surprisingly fluent in English. Kai had been delighted with this knowledge, promptly demanding that Taehyun since a song with him in English. (It was Avril Lavine’s “Sk8r Boi”, and it was great in Beomgyu's opinion.)

Beomgyu hadn't gotten a turn on the mic yet, mostly because he was indecisive on what to sing, but he was pleasantly vibrating in his skin with the alcohol and the fun atmosphere.

"I'm going to get more drinks." Yeonjun announces, slapping Beomgyu's thigh. "Come with me to help me carry them."

Beomgyu agrees readily, and they make their excuse before rushing out.

At the bar, Yeonjun flags down the bartender while Beomgyu just leans on the counter and waits, feeling pleasantly fuzzy. The karaoke bar is holding a public mic, and there's currently a girl and her friend singing a duo for a song Beomgyu doesn't recognize. He thinks they would sound really good if they weren't drunk, because the giggles really do get in the way of reaching some of the notes that Beomgyu feels would be easy for them. He can't help but giggle along with them, and though the girls are across the bar, their joy is infectious.

God, he had needed this night out.

Yeonjun taps him on the shoulder, and he leans in to tell Beomgyu he's going to run to the bathroom, and he'll be right back, and Beomgyu nods and sits at the bar while he waits.

There's a tap on his shoulder again when the girls finish up their song, and the next singer goes up, and Beomgyu startles.

"That was fast—" He starts, and then pauses.

The stranger in front of him is not Yeonjun. He's a pretty boy, with cute, soft features, blond hair that brushes the back of his neck, and the cutest dusting of freckles on his face. He had the cutest heart shaped lips that almost reminded Beomgyu of Soobin, except this boy's were set more into a pout, and his upper lip was fuller than his lower. He was shorter than Beomgyu and wearing a tastefully tattered grey sweater that he fidgeted with shyly under Beomgyu's attention.

When the boy spoke, his voice was lower than Beomgyu had expected, and accented. "Hey, this is probably a weird question but, uh..." The blush on his cheeks made his freckles stand out more against his skin. "Are you and that guy you were just with together?"

"Together?" Beomgyu echoed. "Um, I mean, I guess?"

"Oh." The boy's expression grows disappointed. "Damn, okay. I was hoping he was single."

"Single?" Beomgyu's brain reboots a second too late, and he sputters. "Oh, you meant if we were together together. Oh, my god. I thought you meant if we came here together."

Some of the eagerness returns to the other boy. "Does that mean you're not together? Dating, I mean. He's not your boyfriend?"

"No, no." Beomgyu shakes his head quickly, "No, god no. We're not. We're just friends. He's not my boyfriend. Why? Did we…did it seem like we were?"

"I actually can't ever tell these kinds of things." It's a sheepish admittance. "It's, uh...why I decided to just come ask. Sorry, I know that was weird, but I'm glad I did. My friends tried to talk me out of it, but you never know until you know, right?"

Beomgyu nods, because, yeah, that makes sense. It's like ripping off a Band-Aid, but instead of revealing a scab it’s revealing if someone is willing to kiss you without calling you a slur. "Yeah, totally. I get it."

The boy grins, more confidence making him stand straighter, meeting Beomgyu's eyes evenly. "Okay, well. Thanks. For confirming. Ah, I'm glad you're not together. I was kind of afraid I was going to be barking up the wrong tree."

"Yeah, no." He laughs a little. What a silly thought. Beomgyu and Yeonjun together? Dating? Kissing? Beomgyu and Yeonjun kissing each other? The thought makes him laugh again, shaking his head. They're not together—of course not. Beomgyu doesn't return Yeonjun's feelings. He can't imagine kissing Yeonjun’s soft lips, seeing if the lip-gloss is flavored. "No, we're not. He's not really my type."

The boy grins, and Beomgyu expects him to follow up and ask what Beomgyu's type is, and Beomgyu readies himself to say, cute boys with freckles and for the boy to tell Beomgyu his name, but the question never comes. Instead, what the boy says is, "Well, he's exactly my type. Do you think I stand a chance? Since you're his friend, you know what he likes, right? Should I shoot my shot?"

The boy's grin is a delighted, mischievous thing, and he looks entirely pleased by this conversation. Beomgyu struggles to catch up to what he has said when there's the brush of an arm against him, and Yeonjun's voice says, "Who's this?"

The boy looks past Beomgyu to Yeonjun with a cute smile, and he tucks some of his hair behind his ear when he introduces himself. "My name is Felix. You are?"

"Yeonjun." He answers. "Do you two know each other? Should I go tell Soobin you're going to go off, or..."

Beomgyu opens his mouth to speak, but Felix beats him to it with a small, airy laugh.

"No, we just met. I was hoping to get to know you, though." And it should sound sleazy, because it's a terrible pick-up line in front of a tacky bar, but somehow the boy manages to sound cute even with the low timber of his voice, and the way he has to look up to smile hopefully at Yeonjun makes him look coy instead of creepy. Beomgyu wonders if this guy is doing it on purpose—people aren't actually this cute. Is he doing this to get Yeonjun's attention? Is this how this Felix guy picks up guys? 

"You were?" Yeonjun asks, curious and intrigued. Beomgyu feels a little irritated by it. It's like he has blended into the bar counter with the amount of attention the other two are paying him. "Anything in particular you wanted to know?"

Felix gestures to the bar. "Just one thing: if I buy you a drink, will you tell me what my chances are at getting your number?"

Damn, this guy works fast. It's such a bad line though that Beomgyu cringes, but he supposes he can cut the guy some slack. He's probably drunk. Nobody is at their best when they're drunk. 

The warmth beside Beomgyu disappears, startling him. Yeonjun has stepped around him towards Felix, much to the shorter boy's delight. Beomgyu knows his eyes are wide as Yeonjun gets closer than is necessarily into Felix's space.

"Buy me one and we'll see." Yeonjun says cheekily. Felix immediately flags down the bartender.

Beomgyu just stands there, stunned. The alcohol must be getting to him because the room is starting to spin, and he feels a little unsteady on his feet.

"Hyung." Beomgyu complains, drawing Yeonjun’s attention back to him briefly. "What about the drinks?"

"Oh, right." Yeonjun blinks, and then glances to Felix. The boy is pouting, but he seems to perk back up when Yeonjun gives him his attention. "Hey, I'll be right back, okay? I need to get these drinks to my friends, and then I’m all yours. Is that alright?"

Felix looks like Christmas has come early, all bright eyed and eager nods. "I'll be here."

"Perfect." And then Yeonjun turns to grab the tray that the bartender had finished just moments before Beomgyu's complaint, jerking his head for Beomgyu to help him with the bigger bottles of soju. "C'mon, before Soobin starts whining."

Beomgyu can only stumble behind Yeonjun, dizzy, and when he gets back to their booth, he basically collapses into the seat while Yeonjun sets the tray down.

"I'll be back in a bit." Yeonjun excuses himself to them. Taehyun wolf whistles at him, earning an eyeroll from Yeonjun before he leaves. He ruffles Beomgyu's hair as he goes, though he doesn't look back. 

He doesn't return for the songs, and by the time they call it a night, Yeonjun is still sitting by the bar with Felix, but they’re sitting on the stools facing each other, and Yeonjun is leaning in very close to the boy, a hand on his knee, and Felix is smiling around a straw in his mouth as his fingers trace along the back of Yeonjun's hand, almost like he’s encouraging Yeonjun to be bolder. They look like they're very engaged in a conversation that is anything but innocent. The dizziness returns, and the alcohol Beomgyu had in his stomach revolts against him, and he feel nauseous. 

Yeonjun's shoulders shake with laughter Beomgyu can't hear over the terrible karaoke performances. His hand comes up to fiddle with a stray lock of Felix’s hair as the nausea threatens to overwhelm Beomgyu. Kai pressed against Soobin's side, and Taehyun is struggling to support them both, and Beomgyu feels dizzy, so he calls out pitifully, "Yeonjun-hyung!"

Felix jolts, turning to look to where Beomgyu is swaying, and Yeonjun sees him too. Yeonjun is immediately frowning, getting up and taking a half step forward before he stops and turns to Felix. Felix's eyebrows are knitted with what could almost be concern, and he shakes his head to whatever Yeonjun must've told him. He gestures to Beomgyu and nods, and Yeonjun suddenly leans forward and places a brief, chaste peck on Felix's cheek before he waves and starts for Beomgyu.

The alcohol is really fighting him. Beomgyu feels bile in his mouth. Yeonjun steadies him with an arm around his waist when Beomgyu is about to double over, his voice low and soothing, and woah, how did Yeonjun move so fast? "Easy, Gyu. Jeez, how much did you drink?"

"I don't feel good." Beomgyu whines quietly, his skin burning. Yeonjun feels steady and warm. He leans into the older boy, miserable. Should he have drank as much as he had? Beomgyu is regretting the last couple of drinks. “Hyung. I don’t feel so good at all. I wanna go home.”

Yeonjun's voice turns into a softer, gooier tone like the one he uses when he talks to Vivienne the cat. It soothes the miserable part of Beomgyu's brain that can't help but remind him of how bad the nausea feels, how overheated he feels in his jacket, how bitter the green bile tastes in his mouth. Beomgyu tries to peel the jacket off, but Yeonjun makes sure it stays on. When Beomgyu whines about it, vaguely aware of his complaints, all Yeonjun does it tell him, "You can take it off once you get home, okay?"

And he does. Yeonjun helps Beomgyu stumble into an Uber, along with Kai and Soobin, while sending Taehyun off in his own ride home, and when it becomes clear the trio are a bit of a mess, Yeonjun sighs and crawls in after them. He helps them all up to their apartment, surprisingly steady considering he had also drunk with them, and as far as Beomgyu knew, Yeonjun was a lightweight that couldn’t handle his alcohol either. Yet Yeonjun was steady on his feet as he wrangled the three boys into the bathroom to brush their teeth, drink water and some ibuprofen, and then forced them all into bed. Soobin and Kai were stuck together like glue, the youngest crying when Yeonjun had tried to separate them, and Beomgyu knows he had laughed at Yeonjun's frustrated and bemused expression when Kai had wailed for Yeonjun not to separate them until he'd given in and tucked them both into Soobin's bed.

When it was Beomgyu's turn to be tucked in, he fought it. Beomgyu was feeling warm, and dizzy, and Yeonjun stubbornly wrangling him into the bathroom and then making him drink water before bed made it worse. When he was tucked into his covers, his head peeking out to see Yeonjun sighing tiredly, Beomgyu had said, in a soft voice, "Are you gonna stay the night?"

"No." Yeonjun shook his head, patting the top of Beomgyu's head. "The car is still waiting downstairs. I have to get home or Vivienne will be lonely."

"I hate that stupid cat..." Beomgyu grumbled without any heat. He was so tired. "You should just stay with me."

Yeonjun had laughed. "Goodnight, Beomgyu. Good luck with your hangover tomorrow."

And then he had left, and Beomgyu had stayed awake staring up at the ceiling, and he replayed the night over and over in his mind. He replayed everything, but especially the way Yeonjun had kissed that boy. He replays the way Beomgyu had laughed at the thought of kissing Yeonjun, had laughed at the implication they might be together, but in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, still dizzy and his head buzzing where Yeonjun had pat him sweetly before he left, Beomgyu thought, huh.

Would it be so bad to kiss Yeonjun? Would it be so bad if he could run his hand through his freshly cut hair and earn himself the fond, suggestive smile Felix had been the recipient of the whole night?

He goes to sleep without knowing the answer.

-

'I’m here. are u and soobin otw yet'

'yeah we're almost there. oh and we're bringing heeseung lol'

'k that's fine. tell him i'm not buying him coffee tho'

Beomgyu pockets his phone and resumes his argument with Soobin, cackling when his friend starts to get passionate about his side. It wasn't a serious argument, not really. Heeseung was also laughing as Soobin went on about how Beomgyu had not won their last round. They'd been arguing this since they had left home, Beomgyu smug at the victory but Soobin annoyed and insisting that, actually, Beomgyu hadn't won if you took into account the many different factors to what made a successful co-op. Heeseung looked like he wanted to cut in, but he must've been just as fascinated by Beomgyu at the rate that Soobin was speaking to really put any effort into it. Soobin could've been a rapper in another life at the rate he was ranting.

Beomgyu had already tuned him out, smug over the way his lack of attention only made Soobin more heated. He was still going when they approached the cafe, and all he did was lower his voice when they entered the cheerful place out of polite consideration for the other customers.  Beomgyu immediately did a scan of the lobby, seeking out blonde on instinct before he remembered that Yeonjun had dyed his hair. Beomgyu perked up when he spotted the older boy near the back, headphones slung around his neck. He was talking to someone animatedly, grinning at the person across the table. Taehyun must've come with him.

"Get my usual." Beomgyu told Heeseung, walking away from Soobin mid-sentence, ignoring the squawk of indignation as he made his way to the booth, grinning. Yeonjun's hair looked a little too ruffled, and as he got closer, Beomgyu noticed the tint of red on his cheeks. Curiously, he slowed down. 

Yeonjun hadn't noticed him yet, entirely fixated on the person before him. As they spoke, the other person's hand reached out across the table and shyly took Yeonjun's. Yeonjun grew redder, starting to pull back when the person twined their fingers together and leaned forward. The blond hair was more visible, suddenly, and Beomgyu remembered that Taehyun's hair was not blond. Taehyun wasn't blond, so Yeonjun wasn't staring starry eyed at Kang Taehyun.

Beomgyu feels dizzy.

He doesn't realize he has drifted closer until he clearly hears, "...will you? I'd really like to take you out to dinner."

Yeonjun still hasn't noticed Beomgyu. Why hasn't he looked up? Shouldn't he have been looking for him? Beomgyu had told Yeonjun they were almost there. 

"Like on a date?" Yeonjun asked, his voice oddly shy and flattered. Beomgyu's stomach swooped, something green and ugly settling in his heart. A date?

"A date." The blond boy agreed--his voice was low and familiar, and Beomgyu realized this was the boy from the bar. This was Felix, the boy Yeonjun had kissed when they left, the boy Yeonjun’s hand had been on the knee of. "I'd really like to take you out on a date. What do you think?"

Yeonjun ducks his head, the red spreading higher, and when he looks up, he's got this weirdly soft expression, and something in Beomgyu snaps. Yeonjun shouldn’t be looking at Felix like that—Yeonjun shouldn’t be starry-eyed and struck stupid by a boy he had only just met at the bar.

"He's busy." Beomgyu says curtly, making his presence known, and both boys startle. Felix turns his head to face Beomgyu, eyes wide and confused. Yeonjun blinks at him, like he doesn’t understand Beomgyu’s presence, and he hasn't drawn his hand back yet. Doesn’t Yeonjun care that Beomgyu can see that he's holding hands with this guy? Wasn't Yeonjun supposed to like him? Why wasn't he acting like it? Why was he acting like he had moved on?

"Oh, hey." Felix relaxes, "You're that guy from the bar. You scared me."

They're still holding hands. Beomgyu fights the urge to rip them apart by force, but only barely.

"Hey, Gyu." Yeonjun greets him, still red and he's still not pulling his hand back. Beomgyu's fingers twitch. Felix's hands are small, much smaller than Yeonjun's. They’re basically engulfed by his hands, and it looked odd. Their hands aren’t compatible, this would never work between them.  "Sorry, I didn't know you were here already."

"Ah, is this a bad time?" Felix winces, starting to get up. He squeezes Yeonjun's fingers though and stops at the end of the table, leaning over to look Yeonjun in the eye. It makes the older boy squirm a little in his seat. "So, what do you think? Can I take you out later? When you're free, of course."

"Yeah." Yeonjun agrees softly, "Yeah, that would be—"

Awful. Terrible. Wrong. That would be wrong. Yeonjun can't go on a date with Felix. He can't.

Beomgyu grabs Yeonjun's face with his hands, stopping his words, and Beomgyu catches the widening of Yeonjun's eyes moments before he closes the distance between them and kisses Yeonjun, hard.

There's a surprised sound from the elder, and for a moment, it's just a hard, awkward press of Beomgyu’s lips on his, and he's just about to pull back when Yeonjun hesitantly returns the kiss. Electricity jolts through Beomgyu, lighting up every nerve he has. This is right. This is who Yeonjun should be kissing—not Felix.

It doesn't last long, only a few seconds, but when Beomgyu pulls back, Yeonjun chases after him, and when Beomgyu slowly opens his eyes to look at the older boy, he sees the surprised set to his slow blinking eyes. They stare at each other, equally red.

"Oh." Felix breathes, reminding Beomgyu of his presence. He turns his head to see Felix averting his eyes. "Um..."

"He's busy." Beomgyu hears himself tell the other boy, his voice foreign. He's still holding Yeonjun's face in his hands as Felix nods and hastily walks away. 

"Um..." Yeonjun quietly speaks up around Beomgyu’s grip on his cheeks. "Beomgyu?"

"Yeah?" He looks back—there’s a pretty mole underneath Yeonjun's eye, he notes, and another on his cheek. There's a legend that says that beauty marks are where a past lover had kissed you the most. Beomgyu feels the inexplicable urge to kiss over the lingering remains of this past lover, but that would be ridiculous. He should just kiss elsewhere so that Beomgyu is everywhere in Yeonjun’s next life. The thought startles him.

"You just kissed me."

"Yeah." He breathes out, shaky. "I kissed you."

Distantly, Beomgyu is aware of people rushing over, and of half the eyes of the cafe on them, but he's reluctant to look away from the red creeping up Yeonjun's cheeks. It's a pretty, delicate flush. It's not fair that someone gets to look pretty when they're blushing, and also look so hot it makes Beomgyu feel warm. Beomgyu just looks stupid when he blushes, not pretty. He's still holding Yeonjun's face and doesn't startle when a hand just barely brushes against his waist like it’s testing the waters.

"Why?" Yeonjun is so quiet like he's trying not to break this moment. His fingers are shaking where they touch Beomgyu.

"I..." Beomgyu tries to find the answer, but nothing comes to him. Nothing but the way Felix had looked holding Yeonjun's hand across the table, or the way the brief thought of Felix and Yeonjun kissing made his vision go red, and the way he can't get the thought of Yeonjun out of his head, and how it shouldn't have been Felix asking him out, it should've been—

"...does this mean you like me back?" Yeonjun asks, a little shy, a lot dazed, and Beomgyu blinks.

"Oh my god." Soobin gasps, much closer than he had been.

Beomgyu jerks back like he's been burned (his ears feel like they're on fire). "T-That was strictly platonic. I was—I was saving you from making a mistake. As your friend, I can tell you that Felix was not good for you. I'm just...looking out for you. As a friend."

"Oh, my god." Heeseung groans, mortified. "You're not serious."

"You kissed me platonically." Yeonjun says slowly, like he's testing the words on his tongue. Now that he's not being held by Beomgyu, Yeonjun's head tilts and he looks at Beomgyu a little too critically. "Friends don't kiss, Beomgyu."

"I-I was just doing you a favor." Beomgyu insists. Soobin is mumbling under his breath, and Beomgyu ignores him. "As a friend."

"As a friend." Yeonjun echoes, a slow, lazy grin crooking his lips up. "Right."

"Right." Beomgyu repeats. "Just platonic. Friendly. A friendly, platonic kiss."

Yeonjun nods along slowly, still grinning. "Okay, Gyu. Sure. That was platonic."

"Oh, my god, he's stupid." Soobin bemoans.

Heeseung says, "No, they're both stupid. That's worse."

Beomgyu is about to turn to them to snap at his friends to shut up, but there's a pull on his waist, and he stumbles down, catching himself with one hand on the table and the other hand on the back of the booth. A hand digs into the back of his neck, pulling him down, and this time, when Yeonjun kisses him, its warm, and slow, and Beomgyu feels a little dizzy at the way Yeonjun seems to be drawing him in. He feels dizzy, and out of control when he returns it enthusiastically. Yeonjun's fingers rub the back of his neck as he kisses him slow and sweet, and then he pulls back, and Beomgyu thinks the room spins. 

"That was platonic too." Yeonjun tells him, scooting away from Beomgyu. There’s a wicked, too pleased smirk on Yeonjun's face. "Just a friendly kiss between friends."

"I'm going to throw up." Heeseung groans, echoed by Soobin fake gagging, saying, "I hate them. I really do."

Bamgyuuuu has followed Yawnzzning!

SIX

Yawnzzning has uploaded a new video! my cat is insane

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Yawnzzning has uploaded a new video! #GRWM to go to the bar

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Yawnzzning (1wk) "i told myself i'd never become this kind of person"

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: "sorry that my videos have all been about my cat lately, but can you blame me? look at her! [Yawnzzning holds up a large, long haired calico cat to the camera. The cat meows pitifully.] She's a star. She's prettier than me, and she doesn't even have to try. Isn't that right, pretty girl? Anyway, sorry. I'll try to do more get ready with me's, but you should expect more content of Miss Vivienne Westwood here."]

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Yawnzzning (2wk ago) [An image of Vivienne Westwood wearing a collar with the viral necklace clipped to it.] [Caption: "a follower sent me this to put on her. what do we think? does it suit her?"]

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Yawnzzning (1mo ago) [A low angle picture of Yawnzzning in a black skirt, black boots, and a black and white blouse, pouting at the camera.]

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Yawnzzning (1mo ago) #GRWM for a shoot 

[VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION: "Good morning...sorry my voice sounds like this, I just woke up. I have to take some pictures for some things i was sent, and I need to catch the morning rays. It's currently...four in the morning. I'm so tired. [Yawn.] Ugh, okay. I'm getting up. I'm going for natural today, because I'm too tired to try anything else. I like this concealer--look how nicely it hides my racoon eyes. [Laugh, and then a yawn.] God, if Wooyoung doesn't buy me coffee for this..."]

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-

Platonic kissing.

Yeonjun isn't that stupid. There's no such thing as platonic kissing. Beomgyu could have at least looked for another explanation for the impromptu kiss he had given Yeonjun that day a week ago, and it would've been league's better than that half-assed excuse of a kiss somehow being 'platonic'. Friends do not kiss, no matter what Beomgyu insists on, and for someone who had blown up on Yeonjun over actions he hadn't meant to seem romantic, Beomgyu sure is operating in a lot of grey areas.

He's resolved to forget it, though. Yeonjun wasn't in the business of kissing boys that didn't want to kiss him, but Beomgyu had made that impossible to do.

Why?

Choi Beomgyu keeps kissing him. It seems that now that the other boy has gotten a taste of the action, he’s starving for more of it. "Platonically." It's a load of bullshit, honestly. Yeonjun doesn't believe it for a second, but he's decided to see just how far Beomgyu is willing to go with his half-assed excuse. It’s not like he’s suffering—Yeonjun is quite happy to kiss the boy he’s been mooning over.

The answer is pretty fucking far.

It started small. The day after the fiasco at the cafe, Beomgyu had deliberately gone up to Yeonjun and given him a quick, clinical kiss to his lips, probably to prove he really was just being platonic. The problem was that Beomgyu had given it to Yeonjun after he had been staring at him for almost two minutes, completely zoned out, and he had only worked up the nerve after Yeonjun had licked his lips absentmindedly. His face had been cherry red when he had pulled away, so Yeonjun couldn't even tease him. The poor guy was already clearly embarrassed enough, and he hadn’t been able to look Yeonjun in the eye the rest of the day.

When they waited for Heeseung to finish with his football practice, and some of Yeonjun's friends waved at him in greeting, Beomgyu sharply pulled on Yeonjun's sweater to get his attention and then planted a big, dramatic kiss on his lips right there in the bleachers. It was so silly Yeonjun could only laugh, shoulders shaking as he dropped his head into his hands and tried to control himself as Beomgyu started to slap him for laughing. It was the kind of kiss kids gave to each other, theatrical, and it was awful, but Yeonjun's traitorous belly still fluttered at the touch anyway. Then, it was a kiss on the cheek to thank Yeonjun for bringing him coffee, or a quick kiss on the forehead to greet him at the Calico Catfe when Yeonjun stopped by. 

Beomgyu wasn't even turning red anymore when he did it, and he was growing bolder with it, and still, Choi Beomgyu insisted it was all platonic.

Even when Yeonjun had pouted for an Americano at Beomgyu's job, asking for a kiss goodbye and expecting Beomgyu to deny it, Beomgyu had just done it. He had leaned over the counter, yanking Yeonjun in by the drawstrings of the hoodie he had put on that day, and had given him a surprisingly sweet, heart fluttering kiss right there in front of ten cats and the entire staff at the Catfe. When he had pulled back, Yeonjun stunned and sure he was a new shade of red. He had asked, in a daze, "What are we?"

Beomgyu had stubbornly insisted, "Friends. Just friends. That wasn't romantic."

It's driving Yeonjun insane.

How they had gone from Beomgyu refusing to even see Yeonjun as a possible romantic partner to suddenly looking for excuses to kiss him, Yeonjun will never understand. Hell, he still wasn't quite sure how they had gone from strangers that had hooked up once to sort-of-friends to whatever this was. All Yeonjun knew was that Beomgyu liked to kiss him, and he especially liked to kiss him when Yeonjun was getting attention from other people.

(Yeonjun is still ripping his hair out at the memory of the time Beomgyu had practically plopped himself into Yeonjun's lap, planting a slow, lingering kiss onto his lips when one of his classmates had shyly asked Yeonjun for his number. The boy had walked away, flustered and disappointed, and Beomgyu had been smiling far too proud of himself afterward. Yeonjun had been too dizzy to really react, because the way Beomgyu kissed him felt too possessive to be as friendly as he lied about. The way he had sighed into the kiss like he had never been more satisfied was worse for the thoughts Yeonjun was finding harder and harder to push away about the boy.)

The thing is though, all of these kisses occurred out in the open. They existed only when there was an audience, a show of sorts for Beomgyu to prove he really didn't mean them. Yeonjun had assumed that's what it would be, and so he hadn't worried about it happening behind closed doors. So far, Beomgyu hadn't tried to kiss Yeonjun when it was just them and their friends, so it really must've been some kind of performance for Beomgyu, somehow.

Yeonjun should've known better.

It happens when Beomgyu invites himself over, bringing his laptop and some assignments he needs to focus on. Yeonjun was content to leave him to his own devices, content to curl on his side on the bed while Beomgyu monopolized his sofa and scrolled down his Instagram feed, lazily cuddling Vivienne against his stomach. She was a very cuddly cat. Yeonjun hadn't realized how nice it was to always have something warm and sweet wanting to cuddle him just to feel close. It was nice. Beomgyu had been steadily working on his assignments for just under two hours when he sighed dramatically and closed his laptop.

"Yeonjun-hyung." Beomgyu whined, waiting for Yeonjun to hum in acknowledgment before continuing. "I'm bored. I'm tired of doing homework. Entertain me."

"There's a TV right there, and you know the wifi password. Entertain yourself."

"You're so mean to me."

Yeonjun laughs. "You like it."

Beomgyu whines inaudibly, and then falls silent. Yeonjun thought that was the end of that, and that maybe Beomgyu would start to settle in for a nap. He was a sleepy boy, Yeonjun had learned. Beomgyu fell asleep at the drop of a hat. It was endearing honestly. 

Beomgyu didn't fall asleep. Rather, Beomgyu sighed loudly, and stood up. He came over to Yeonjun, standing at the foot of his bed with his arms crossed.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at Instagram." Yeonjun answered. "I'm not going to entertain you. I'm resting. This is how I rest. Let me be."

Beomgyu pouts, and at that moment, Yeonjun's phone pings with a message. He answers it quickly, and it pings again before he can exit the chat. Yeonjun laughs a little at the message--Jisoo was showing him a picture of a cat she had found in the park, and it was crouched in the most awkward position on a pole.

"Who are you messaging?" Beomgyu asks curiously.

"Jisoo." He says, snapping a quick selfie of him and Vivienne curled up in his bed and waiting for the way his friend would start blowing up his phone soon with crying emojis over his cat. 

Beomgyu is silent for a moment, and then he says, "Isn't she the one that asked you out?"

"Jisoo?" Yeonjun laughs, looking at Beomgyu and setting his phone aside. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"

A heartbeat of silence in which Beomgyu just stares at him, and then Beomgyu is suddenly huffing and moodily walking away, collapsing into Yeonjun's sofa. Curious at the reaction, Yeonjun sits up.

"Do you not like Jisoo?" He asks.

No response.

With a sigh, Yeonjun stands up, apologizing to Vivienne when she protests, and he rounds the sofa to sit beside Beomgyu. He's sulking, his lips jutted out in a lethal pout, arms crossed across his chest as he slouches on the back of the sofa.

"Do you?" Yeonjun probes, sitting so he's facing Beomgyu.

Beomgyu's pout grows. "I don't."

"Why?"

"Because." 

Yeonjun waits for the rest of the explanation, but Beomgyu doesn't offer it. He just keeps pouting, glaring at Yeonjun as if he's the reason Beomgyu doesn't like Jisoo. Maybe he is.

"She's really nice." Yeonjun offers. "I don't think she'd hurt a fly."

"She's not that great." Beomgyu counters, voice petulant. "Nobody is actually that nice."

Yeonjun hums, feeling himself grow amused. There's a nagging suspicion in his chest at why Beomgyu is upset, and it has everything to do with the way the younger boy has made it his personal mission to block any attempt of other people showing interest in Yeonjun. He should be annoyed by this, but a stupid, traitorous part of his heart that had latched onto Beomgyu and the possible future they could have had together is overjoyed with the obvious jealousy Beomgyu isn't aware he's acting on.

"Mm, I think she is."

"That's because you think everyone is nice." The boy accuses. "You're going to get taken advantage of."

"Yeah? I thought you were going to protect me from that? You know, since we're good friends and all. Isn't that why you've been kissing me all the time?" Yeonjun asks. 

Beomgyu's reaction is immediate, and it's cute. He sits up, glaring at Yeonjun, but he's starting to blush. Yeonjun expects Beomgyu to hit him, to tell him to not be so full of himself, and he's fully prepared to drop the subject now that he's gotten the reaction he was searching for, but Beomgyu is full of surprises.

"Yes." Beomgyu says, voice odd. "Yeah, I am. I'm your friend, so I'm protecting you from all that."

"By kissing me."

"By kissing you." Beomgyu stubbornly insists.

Yeonjun can't help it; he laughs. Beomgyu is cute like this. Yeonjun doesn't think he has feelings for Yeonjun, but the younger boy at least feels some kind of possessiveness towards him, and that implies more than just friendly interest. Maybe he could like Yeonjun, if Yeonjun gave it time.

He wasn't entirely opposed to waiting it out, if he was being honest.

"You're so cute." Yeonjun shakes his head, fond. "You're so stupid, but you're so cute. God, help me. You don't have to kiss me though."

"Why not?" He almost sounds offended.

Yeonjun stifles his laugh. "Friends don't kiss, Beoms."

"Sure they do." Beomgyu sticks his chin out stubbornly, and suddenly he's crawling over to Yeonjun, leaning into his space. "Friends kiss all the time."

Yeonjun shakes his head, and Beomgyu's eyes glint with stubborn determination. Beomgyu nods, and then he's kissing Yeonjun again, like he's trying to prove a point. Whatever point that is, Yeonjun doesn't know. He just knows the feel of Beomgyu's lips, the warmth radiating off of him, and the way they're safe and alone in Yeonjun's apartment, and still, Beomgyu is kissing him.

Yeonjun separates them, because he knows this isn't a good idea. It's one thing for Beomgyu to do this in public, when there's the plausible deniability of it all being a performance, but here, in Yeonjun's empty apartment, the only audience that will witness this is Vivienne Westwood the cat, and she's probably already napping in Yeonjun's bed.

"If you say so." Yeonjun leans back, putting distance between them. To his surprise, Beomgyu follows him. In a warning tone, Yeonjun says, "Beoms..."

"Friends kiss." Beomgyu insists. "It doesn't mean anything."

It means everything.

"Okay." Yeonjun agrees, just to get Beomgyu to back off. This is dangerous. "Okay, fine. Friends kiss."

"Yeah." Beomgyu's eyes track Yeonjun's lips, and he's leaning in again. "They do."

And they kiss. And kiss. And kiss. 

They press soft, innocent kisses against each other's lips over and over, until it turns into longer kisses that have Yeonjun leaning forward to pull Beomgyu closer, wetter slides of their lips as Beomgyu tangles his fingers into Yeonjun's hair and gently tugs him in, scooting himself closer until it's comfortable to lazily make out. It becomes Yeonjun hesitating to ask for more, but Beomgyu shamelessly begging him too, all but parting his lips in invitation for Yeonjun to lick into, to taste him, and Yeonjun is a weak, weak man because he takes it all and savors it.

They kiss until Beomgyu is pulling him in with harsher tugs, and their breathing becomes heavier, and Beomgyu is making soft, pleased little sounds each time Yeonjun sucks on his tongue, nibbles at his lower lip. It's so cute Yeonjun thinks he's going to swallow Beomgyu whole, and he'll still not have enough of him. 

When they part, they're panting for breath, and Beomgyu looks dazed. He has this half-lidded look in his eyes that Yeonjun wants to commit to memory, and he's running his hands down Yeonjun's shoulders, lingering little touches as they come to his chest, and finally he draws them back into his own lap.

"I don't like how many people are asking you out." Beomgyu confesses, still looking half out of it, trying to breathe evenly.

Yeonjun is in a similar boat. It's taking everything in him not to reach out and pull Beomgyu into his lap and kiss him senseless again. "It's never bothered you before."

"I didn't like you before." Beomgyu says, then his eyes widen.

"You like me?"

"As a friend." He hastily rejects, not meeting Yeonjun's eyes. "These are friendly feelings only. As your friend, I hate how many people are trying to ask you out. You can find better people to kiss."

"Okay." Yeonjun rolls his eyes. "Indulge me then, Beomgyu: in your professional friend opinion, who should I be kissing then? If not them, who?"

Beomgyu bites his lip, mumbling the answer almost absentmindedly. "Someone you like."

"You mean you?" It slips out before Yeonjun can stop it. He had resolved to stop mentioning his feelings lest there be another instance of Beomgyu thinking Yeonjun is trying to make a move on him, or pressure him into returning his feelings. He thinks he can be forgiven this time though, considering Beomgyu keeps throwing what Yeonjun is starting to think are his own undigested feelings at Yeonjun. 

"Yeah." Beomgyu says quietly. He seems to realize what he says at the same time as Yeonjun, because their eyes both grow wide, Yeonjun's with disbelief, and Beomgyu's with revelation, and then confusion. Then, Beomgyu shakes his head, stuttering, "I-I mean, no. I mean--"

"Can I kiss you, then?" Yeonjun blurts. "Actually kiss you?"

Yeonjun wants to kiss Beomgyu like he means it, at least once. He wants to be able to kiss him like Beomgyu is his, like this isn't a stolen moment in between whatever denial Beomgyu is swimming in. Just once, Yeonjun wants to pretend they are something to one another, that they are two halves of a whole, and he thinks, maybe if he shows Beomgyu how it feels like to kiss like he's wanted, Beomgyu might realize he wants to want Yeonjun back, too.

Beomgyu's response is a very quiet whisper. "Yes."

Yeonjun draws him in, slowly and carefully, gently, giddy at the way Beomgyu is pliant. He cups Beomgyu's jaw, rubs his thumb over his cheek, and just before their lips touch, Yeonjun breathes, "Pretty."

They kiss, slow and sweet, and Beomgyu sighs into it. His eyes flutter shut, and Yeonjun's follow, and he focuses on the shape of Beomgyu's kiss swollen lips, the easy way Beomgyu presses into him, the bump of his nose against Yeonjun's face when they move.

Yeonjun kisses Beomgyu like he's saying 'I want you' and Beomgyu kisses him like he's replying 'I know.'

He should have known better.

-

It's not often that Beomgyu admits his wrongs, but this is one of those moments. 

"Soobin." Beomgyu groans into the cushion of the sofa, willing it to smother him. "Soobin, I like him. I can't fucking believe I like him."

"You've been making out with the guy for three weeks now, Beomgyu. Of course you like him." Soobin says dryly. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing." Beomgyu mourns. "I can't do anything."

The sound of Soobin's character dying on the TV is comical, but not as comical as the shriek of Soobin's voice when he demands, "The fuck does that mean? What, did he get a boyfriend already?"

"No." 

"Why why can't you do anything?"

"Because!" Beomgyu turns his head so Soobin can see the full force of his despairing face. "Because I already rejected him. Multiple times. Really meanly, actually."

"Okay, so? You can change your mind?" Soobin glares at him. "You've been kissing him for weeks. I think he knows you like him by now, okay?"

"No, he doesn't! I've been telling him it's all platonic."

Soobin looks at Beomgyu like he's stupid. He kind of feels like he is. How could he have let Choi Yeonjun slip through his grasp like that? How could he have not given him a chance? Now it was too late, and Beomgyu has dug himself a grave he wasn't want to lie in anymore. The world is a cruel, unjust place for innocent people like him. 

"You're not stupid enough to think he believed that, are you?"

"Don't be mean to me." Beomgyu pouts. "I'm in mourning."

Soobin sighs. He sets aside his controller--Soobin really is a good friend. Beomgyu appreciates that he's willing to put his games down to comfort Beomgyu in his time of need. It says a lot about their friendship.

"Look." Soobin leans forward, expression serious. "Just talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I think he'll be happy to hear you return his feelings now. And if he isn't, well, then he isn't. You'll just have to accept the rejection like he did."

"But." Beomgyu juts his lip out, upset. "But I can't handle the rejection, hyung! I'm sensitive!"

"You literally made him cry each time you rejected him. I think you deserve to be on the chopping block once."

"You're supposed to be my friend."

"No, see, this is what friendship is. Whatever the hell you've got going on with Yeonjun is not friendship. I don't know if this is your weird courting ritual, or if you're really this emotionally challenged, but please, please just talk to him. It's making me sad to see you mope everytime you come back from seeing him."

Beomgyu shoves his face back into the cushion, groaning into it long and loud and frustrated. A hand rubs at his back.

"There there. You'll be fine. Just talk to him."

"Fine." Beomgyu's words are muffled, but he's sure Soobin hears him. "I'll talk to him next time I go."

He really means it, but the next time Beomgyu finds himself in Yeonjun's apartment, he also finds himself perched on Yeonjun's lap, fingers in his hair, kissing him feverishly. 

Beomgyu doesn't know how he has gotten into this position, but he can't find it in him to dislike it. He vaguely remembers Yeonjun's sleepy voice when he answered the door, the rasp of it and the way it sent a shiver down Beomgyu's spine and made his stomach flip, and he also vaguely remembers shamelessly throwing himself onto Yeonjun the second he had the opportunity, their lips locked, and Yeonjun steadying him with hands around his waist. There's a hint of a memory of Beomgyu pushing Yeonjun back into the sofa, because it was closer than his bed, and then crawling on top of him, and Yeonjun eagerly wrapping arms around him to hold him there.

And now they were here, still kissing wet and messy and uncoordinated, but still good. This time, when Beomgyu pulls back to breath, Yeonjun starts to kiss down the slope of his neck, setting Beomgyu on fire with each suck on his skin. Beomgyu shudders at the touch, anchoring himself to the moment by sliding his hands down Yeonjun's back, finding the hem of his shirt and thoughtlessly tugging it up until Yeonjun has to stop to help Beomgyu remove it. Beomgyu tosses it aside somewhere, his hands on hot, bare skin, and god, he knows there was a reason he had come here but he can't remember it when he sees every inch of suddenly bare chest, the little moles Beomgyu is viciously needing to map out with his mouth now, and the soft flat skin of his stomach. 

Beomgyu thinks he might be salivating.

"Fuck, you're pretty." He hears himself say, and hears the sharp inhale from Yeonjun before the older boy buries his face into the side of Beomgyu's neck, suddenly embarrassed. It's cute, unbearably so, and Beomgyu can't handle the fact that Yeonjun is so adorable and shy while at the same time driving Beomgyu up the wall with how hot he is when he easily manhandled Beomgyu into his lap. The duality of man is not good for Beomgyu's heart, or his half hard dick.

It's a problem he has only just noticed as he tries to sit down comfortably and finds that there is pressure in his pants that hadn't been there before, and a barely-there hardness that shows that Yeonjun is just as effected. 

Yeonjun freezes when Beomgyu does, and they both just look at each other for a moment, the reality of the situation starting to set in. Beomgyu wonders if Yeonjun is going to push him off--this seems like a line that Yeonjun wouldn't want him to cross. 

He doesn't. Yeonjun takes a deep breath and dips his hands under Beomgyu's shirt, his fingers warm and smooth as they map out his chest, causing Beomgyu to gasp and sit back.

"Yeonjun-hyung." Beomgyu gasps, "Can I—can you—"

"What?" Yeonjun urges Beomgyu to finish, his fingers coming up to brush just over Beomgyu's nipples and the skittering away just as quickly, too nervous to cross the line. "Can I what?"

Beomgyu feels too embarrassed to say it, so instead, what he does is guide one of Yeonjun's hands to the bulge of his pants, face feeling far too hot, and he can't meet Yeonjun's eyes when Yeonjun bites back what sounds like a hitched gasp. The faintest touch of Yeonjun's fingers on him makes Beomgyu weak in the knees already but he cants his hips up gently into it anyway, biting back any sounds.

"You want me to? You're sure?" Yeonjun utters, staring down where his hand lays cupping Beomgyu over his pants.

Beomgyu nods fervently, biting his lip. "Yes. I--Please, touch me."

Yeonjun swallows but nods, and he digs his palm a little harder over Beomgyu, earning him a small whine. It seems to encourage Yeonjun, his touch more insistent. His hand moves over Beomgyu's clothed cock for a few moments, awed, and then Beomgyu suddenly finds himself sitting on the sofa. Yeonjun is kneeling before him, unzipping his pants and tugging at the waistband until Beomgyu gets the hint and lifts his hips far enough for Yeonjun to slide his pants and his underwear off in one quick tug. Beomgyu's cock springs free of its confines, and he feels shy, suddenly, at the sudden exposure.

"You're so pretty." Yeonjun mutters, his hand hesitantly wrapping around the base of him. Beomgyu's body gives a shudder, his head falling back. He digs his fingers into the cushions to keep hold of himself. "So pretty. The prettiest I've ever seen."

"Shut up." Beomgyu whines, not wanting to hear about the other dicks Yeonjun must have been into contact with, and also worried that if Yeonjun doesn't stop talking, he'll do something embarrassing like cum too fast. "Just—"

Yeonjun doesn't let him finish. The older boy eagerly leans forward and wraps his head around the head of Beomgyu's dick, his tongue swirling around it, testing out how he tastes. Beomgyu loses his voice with the wordless moan that he lets out, bucking his hips up before he can stop himself. 

"Fuck, that feels good." Beomgyu moans, and he feels more than sees the way Yeonjun likes his reaction when Yeonjun makes a pleased sound that sends little vibrations on the head of his cock. "Hyung, that feels so, so good."

Yeonjun wastes no time. He slowly works his mouth over Beomgyu's dick, slowly taking in more and more of it with each little bob of his head, and when Beomgyu meets that back of Yeonjun's throat, he trembles at the way he can feel the older boy try to swallow. He has no gag reflex. Beomgyu is going to cry. He's going to cry right now, with his dick down Choi Yeonjun's throat, and the image of those lips stretched out along his cock. Beomgyu forces himself to open his eyes to look, to really see what's happening, and yes, there he is. Yeonjun is still knelt between Beomgyu's spread, trembling thighs, still breathing deep as he looks up through his lashes and meets Beomgyu's eyes.

Beomgyu whines at the sight, his hips thrusting up involuntarily, and he has the perfect view of Yeonjun's eyes rolling up into his head as he moans around the length of him. A few tears threaten to slip out, but Beomgyu is strong and he holds them back, barely. 

"C-Can I—" Beomgyu barely recognizes the neediness of his voice. "Can I fuck your mouth? Hyung, please? Is that okay?"

Yeonjun pulls off him to breath, and he rasps, "Yeah. Go ahead."

Beomgyu does. Yeonjun takes every little thrust like he was made for it, his eyes closing tightly, and little soft moans muffled by Beomgyu's cock. He loses himself in the tight wet heat of Yeonjun's mouth, loses himself in the way Yeonjun's nails are digging into his hips as he clings to Beomgyu as he tries to bury himself all the way down Yeonjun's throat. The wet, lewd sounds of Yeonjun slurping when he can, and choking a little when he can't are only background noise to the ringing in Beomgyu’s ears. Should a blowjob feel this intense? 

The answer is no, but he is grateful that this one is. He's so grateful he finds himself smoothing back Yeonjuns dark hair, and then tugging on it gently. Yeonjun moans brokenly, opening his eyes to meet Beomgyu's questioning stare. Beomgyu tentatively tugs on his hair again, and the other boy shudders weakly, and Beomgyu takes that as his cue. It's greedy, and Beomgyu will feel guilty later, but for now, all he does is grip Yeonjun's hair firmly and use it as leverage to maneuver Yeonjun's head however he wants as he keeps fucking into his mouth, his moans growing louder, higher as it goes. 

"So good." Beomgyu gasps, shaking. "Good, good. Feels so good, hyung. Yeonjun-hyung. Your mouth feels so, so good. Please, please, please don't stop."

Yeonjun gives his cock a hard, determined suck as best as he can. One of his hands starts to travel up, higher and higher until his fingers brush one of Beomgyu's nipples, toying with it. Beomgyu arches into it, and his hips jerk harshly. Yeonjun's fingers twitch as he chokes, but then he continues. 

Time loses meaning. He doesn't know how long it takes, all he knows is the pleasure builds up higher, higher, and soon he's fighting back tears, trembling, his thighs shaking and threatening to close around Yeonjun's head, and the older boy has to force them apart with a bruising grip as he pushes Beomgyu over the edge with a cry. He doesn't even have the chance to warn Yeonjun before he's spilling down his throat. Yeonjun quickly pulls off him, choking, and Beomgyu is disappointed in the sight of his cum spilling out of Yeonjun's mouth as he struggles to breath, coughing and panting for breath. It drips from the corner of his mouth and from his tongue, and even Yeonjun seems mortified as he catches his breath, staring at the white substance on the floor. 

"Sorry." Yeonjun croaks, "Thought I could—You surprised me. Sorry."

Beomgyu makes grabby hands for Yeonjun, who comes up and seems surprised to be pulled immediately into a kiss. Beomgyu can taste his own cum in Yeonjun's mouth; he should be disgusted, but it's just unbelievably hot. "Felt too good. Sorry. Forgot to warn you." Beomgyu mumbles.

Yeonjun smiles at him, still clearly embarrassed. He pulls away, trying to hide his still flustered expression, and turning his body in a bad attempt at hiding the way he's still hard in his sweatpants.

"Can I—" Beomgyu reaches for Yeonjun's dick, only for Yeonjun to gently move his hand away with a shake of his head.

"Not today." Yeonjun tells him, and he comes up next to Beomgyu to brush his sweaty hair from his forehead. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

Beomgyu can only nod, his head fuzzy and his legs feeling weak, but Yeonjun helps him into the shower and gives him clean clothes to wear, allowing Beomgyu to sleep in his bed when he’s all clean and sleepy. Yeonjun tucks Beomgyu into his bed, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead. Beomgyu is asleep almost instantly, and he can't remember if he felt Yeonjun join him or not.

(He hadn't. The next morning, Yeonjun is on the sofa with Vivienne Westwood asleep in between his legs, and Beomgyu just stares with something like guilt settling in his stomach.

They didn't get the chance to talk yet.)

-

The chance for their conversation comes two days later when Yeonjun calls Beomgyu to help him set up a cat tree he has bought for Vivienne. He'd been excited when he had called, so excited Beomgyu could practically see the smile on his face. Obviously, Beomgyu had agreed to go help Yeonjun put it together, since he was an expert in putting together cat furniture. It was an occupational hazard at working at the Catfe. The thing is, Yeonjun had called him on his break in the middle of his shift, and Beomgyu had apologetically told him he wouldn't be able to make it to Yeonjun's apartment until after he was free. 

"That's fine." Yeonjun had told him, excitement not dampened in the slightest. "When is your shift over?"

Beomgyu told him, and he ticked the hours that went by like they were passing at a snail's pace. 

Thirty minutes before Beomgyu was supposed to close the door, Beomgyu heard the jingle of the bell that announced a customer. When he looked up, mildly annoyed and trying to hide it, he saw Yeonjun stepping in, his hands in his pockets and beaming at Beomgyu. There weren't any other customers in the Catfe, so Beomgyu smiled back just as broadly, if not more so. 

"Do you want me to wait outside while you finish up?" Yeonjun offered politely, and when Beomgyu nodded enthusiastically, Yeonjun had done exactly that. They walked to his apartment together, and Yeonjun had already pulled out the photos from the store he had bought the cat tree from, swiping through them. When they reached the apartment, Yeonjun entered first, squatting down to pick up Vivienne, who made a little squeaky sound when lifted into Yeonjun's arms. 

They got to work immediately, Yeonjun too excited to be the polite host. He just rushed to the large box that contained all the parts and started to rip it open, occasionally pausing to move Vivienne out of the way. She was being incredibly nosy, much more than Beomgyu was used to seeing. Vivienne Westwood didn't have any reservations about walking around Yeonjun, or stepping on top of pieces of cardboard to investigate what caught her interest. She was a little more vocal too, oddly enough. Beomgyu wasn't used to hearing the little chirps that came from her, but she only did them when Yeonjun startled her, or when he offered her something to sniff. It was cute, in a terrible way. It was like seeing a monster suddenly become human. 

Honestly, Beomgyu did most of the work. Yeonjun read the instructions to him but more often than not he was designated to the duty of pulling back Vivienne from trying to get into the plastic bags that held the screws that would hold this thing together. Beomgyu was the one who did the actual assembly, used to this. It took him longer than usual only because Yeonjun kept distracting him by playing with his cat, being cute about it. He liked to talk to Vivienne in a voice that was a mix of the kind of coo you would use on babies, and oddly serious full sentences like Vivienne would respond to Yeonjun. 

When the cat tree was all set up, Beomgyu stood back and admired it proudly. It was a 3-tiered structure, with scratching posts running up all the posts holding the elevated beds. Beomgyu suggested setting it up by the window Vivienne liked to lounge on, and Yeonjun had readily agreed. Vivienne hadn't been as enthusiastic about the cat tree, though. She slunk low to the ground around it, stretching her neck out as far as she could to hesitantly sniff at it, then jerked her head back. The calico paced between slinking and running her cheeks along Yeonjun's ankles and going to the base of the cat tree to investigate the new addition to her home, and she clearly couldn't decide if she liked it yet. This was more along the lines of what Beomgyu had expected from Vivienne Westwood. 

"You don't like it?" Yeonjun asked the cat, and he actually pouted. He watched as Vivienne once again sniffed the soft base like she was testing it and it might have changed in the last minute between investigation, and decided it was still far too offensive. "At least try it out before you decide you hate it."

Beomgyu snorts. "Hyung, she'll get used to it."

"But I want her to like it." Yeonjun insists, and then he's crouching down. Vivienne is pleased by the development, coming to Yeonjun and rubbing along his knees now, and then pulling herself up onto her back paws, reaching up into the hand Yeonjun used to gently stroke her head. "Can't you at least try it out?"

Vivienne keeps reaching into his hand.

Yeonjun sighs, genuinely saddened by the cat's lack of curiosity. He pets her absentmindedly. "Why don't you like it?"

It's that soft voice again, the one that is too endeared, too gentle, too affectionate. Beomgyu has only ever heard Yeonjun use it on Vivienne, has only ever heard him speak in the softest coos to her, and even when they were at the Catfe, sometimes Beomgyu caught glimpses of the things Yeonjun said.

Soft little croons of how pretty she was, how cute she was, how pink her little nose was. Once, Beomgyu heard Yeonjun giggling about how fluffy her butt was, and on one memorable occasion, Yeonjun had sounded close to tears and Beomgyu had to strain to hear Yeonjun whisper, "How could anybody not want you?"

It was all in the same soft, adoring little croon, the same quiet voice. Had Yeonjun ever raised his voice at Vivienne? Had she ever heard the loud way Yeonjun threw himself into people?

Beomgyu watched the calico hop onto Yeonjun's bent knees, balancing precariously as Yeonjun held out his hands just in case. Beomgyu wanted to tell him that it was unnecessary, that Vivienne was a cat and could balance, but something about the gesture made Beomgyu's heart hurt. Her nails were digging into Yeonjun's skin, he could see, but all the elder did was wince and hold still as she adjusted her balance and rubbed her head into his chin.

The way he handled Vivienne was so gentle. 

It hits Beomgyu, in that moment, watching Vivienne gently start to purr, the little rumble of her contentment strange to Beomgyu's ears, that this is the most at peace he has ever seen Vivienne. She hasn't bunched herself up into herself, she has only hissed at Beomgyu a few times, but Yeonjun seems to bring out the sweetest parts of her. He seems to draw out the sweetheart the owner had claimed she was when she had been tearfully surrendered, and the first few days had cried. At least that's what Beomgyu's boss had said. By the time he had arrived, Vivienne was a spiteful ball of fur, and she hated him.

The spite is nowhere to be seen in the way she seeks out Yeonjun.

Yeonjun is gentle to her, and kind, and it's with a pang in his heart that Beomgyu realizes that Yeonjun has always been gentle and kind to her, and gentle and kind to him, too. It's with a pang he realizes the way Vivienne has bloomed under his care and affections is envious, because she is doted on by those gentle hands and that coo of affection, and Beomgyu wants that. Beomgyu wants to be doted on, too. Beomgyu wants to bask in Yeonjun's affections. He wants to curl up on Yeonjun's chest with Yeonjun's fingers gently tugging on his hair. Beomgyu wants Yeonjun to pay close attention to his favorite foods and to pick out only what he likes. He wants the weight of Yeonjun's soft eyes on him as he does something stupid, the way Yeonjun shakes his head and would help him up, checking to make sure he's alright before laughing. He wants the way Yeonjun never raises his voice, even when disappointed.

It feels stupid to realize that he is jealous of a cat, but that's exactly what he's feeling right now. He is jealous of Vivienne Westwood and the easy way she seeks out Yeonjun's affections, and the even easier way he just gives them to her. If Beomgyu asks, would he be indulged just as easily? If Beomgyu asks, would Yeonjun hold him delicately to him like he is something precious to love?

"Yeonjunie-hyung." Beomgyu asks, softly, and Yeonjun turns to him. "Can you come here?"

"What's up?" Yeonjun delicately sets Vivienne down and she primly follows after him as he comes to Beomgyu. 

Beomgyu pulls Yeonjun down for a kiss the moment he's close enough, surprising Yeonjun enough to stumble. He keeps it chaste and innocent, and pulls back just enough to exhale carefully. 

Yeonjun gives him a moment before he kisses him again, just as soft as Beomgyu had. He feels his stomach lurch a little, but he knows its something like anticipation. Another innocent kiss. Another. Two more. Beomgyu wraps his arms around Yeonjun, his heart pounding. Can Yeonjun could feel it, too?

Warm fur brushes against his ankle, and then there's a nip on it, and Beomgyu startles so much he falls into Yeonjun, who starts giggling against Beomgyu's lips. Another nip follows, this time on his calf, and there's the sound of a small, impatient huff. Beomgyu skitters away from the fur that brushes against him again, and the little wet nose that presses into the back of his leg that he now knows is a warning, and he scrambles behind Yeonjun.

Vivienne Westwood sits on her haunches, staring at him, her tail flicking on the floor. Beomgyu swears she looks pleased.

"She hates me." He comments. Yeonjun is laughing. "She really hates me, hyung."

"Maybe try to befriend her."

Beomgyu shakes his head and then he shrieks right as Vivienne stands up, starting to come over to him, and when he starts scrambling up Yeonjun like the older boy is a tree to climb, he finds himself equally pleased and surprised when Yeonjun helps him, laughing so much he sways, and Beomgyu holds on for dear life, clinging so tightly it probably hurts Yeonjun. Yeonjun settles his arms under Beomgyu to hold him up as best as he can, but he's struggling just a bit. 

Beomgyu can't say anything against it though when Yeonjun takes the opportunity to stumble to his bed in the corner and drop Beomgyu onto it, gently shooing away Vivienne when she tries to hop in with them and crawling in after Beomgyu. He definitely isn't upset when he pouts and Yeonjun rolls his eyes, but doesn't protest when Beomgyu goes for another kiss.

He really should stop, but he wants to see how gentle Yeonjun would be with him. He wants to know if he can ask like Vivienne does, and if Yeonjun really would just give and give and give.

And so Beomgyu asks, and asks, and takes and takes and takes every kiss Yeonjun allows, takes every shy brush of his fingers, every searching look Yeonjun tries to disguise. He takes, greedily, the kiss Yeonjun instigates, his hands on Beomgyu's cheek, his lips wet with their previous kisses.

When they pull back, Beomgyu softly asks, "What are we?"

A pause, and then Yeonjun sighs and boops Beomgyu's nose. "We're just friends, until you stop being so stubborn."

"I'm not stubborn."

"Tell me that again when you stop insisting that you're kissing me platonically." Yeonjun says, and they kiss again. "Ask me that again when you're kissing me with full, romantic intent. Until then..." Another soft kiss, and Yeonjun pulls away, grinning a little. "This is purely platonic. Friendly. No feelings attached, just like you said."

Beomgyu hates that he is allowed to speak.

-

Beomgyu steals a kiss from Yeonjun on campus, and another on the way to work. He steals a kiss when he gives Yeonjun his Americano when he visits the Catfe, and he steals kisses when Yeonjun is spacing out and staring straight ahead. Beomgyu has never found himself greedy for someone's affection before, but he feels like he's starving and the only thing that has satiated him has been Choi Yeonjun. 

In the privacy of their homes, Beomgyu steals kisses that are less innocent, coaxes and goads Yeonjun into giving more and more and more, until he's kissing Beomgyu like he's starving, too, and Beomgyu is the remedy. He devours Beomgyu whole, and Beomgyu is only too happy to writhe against the sheets and gasp and plead for more more more.

"Kiss me." Beomgyu pleads, desperate, breathy, "Hyung, kiss me."

And Yeonjun does, coming up to bring their lips together as he works on stretching Beomgyu open, as the younger rolls his hips against him, desperate and frantic. Beomgyu likes that he can ask Yeonjun to do this, can ask Yeonjun to touch him, and Yeonjun will. He will touch Beomgyu, will kiss him, will fuck him with his fingers him until Beomgyu is a shaking mess on the bed, his stomach stained with cum, and Yeonjun will lap it up and watch Beomgyu shake at the sight. 

But he doesn't allow Beomgyu to touch him.

"Let me." Beomgyu pleads, in between kisses. "Let me touch you. I can feel how hard you are. I want to, please."

And Yeonjun will just smile and shake his head, and somehow distract Beomgyu enough for him to be too tired to insist, every time. Yeonjun doesn't let Beomgyu touch him, doesn't ask for anything, and Beomgyu slowly starts to feel insane.

But he keeps taking, and taking, and taking because it feels so good to be loved, and to be loved without giving.

-

It feels good, and then it doesn't.

Two weeks have passed where Beomgyu has been unable to keep his hands off of Yeonjun, two weeks of insisting that whatever they're doing, whatever they are, is nothing. It's something not emotional, something that doesn't mean anything more than Beomgyu being friendly. He knows that Yeonjun doesn't believe him, but he plays along, and part of Beomgyu is grateful, but part of him wishes his hyung would push. He wishes he would ask Beomgyu for as much as Beomgyu has been taking from him, but he never does.

He waits for Beomgyu's cues, is always there with an outstretched hand, and speaks to him like if he raises his voice, Beomgyu will run away. More and more, Beomgyu has realized that the way he is handled and the way Vivienne is handled don't differ much. Yeonjun has contented himself with simply waiting for them to approach him.

Beomgyu isn't content with that.

It comes up when Beomgyu asks about the star projector when they're having dinner at Yeonjun's apartment. Beomgyu had insisted on spending the evening with him, because he was lonely and he wanted Yeonjun to watch a new horror movie with him because he was too scared to watch it alone, and Yeonjun had agreed despite being too squeamish for horror. He'd been coiled tight and hiding his face in his hands from the start of the movie to the middle, where Beomgyu had been forced to pause because the sound of Yeonjun's scared whines at the jump scares was doing things to his head.

He'd been afraid, too, and they had stopped the movie before it got worse, and Beomgyu had been desperately seeking a distraction from the visuals.

He asked, "Hey, what happened to that star projector you bought?"

If Beomgyu hadn't been pressed so close to Yeonjun, he wouldn't have noticed the slight stiffening of Yeonjun's muscles before he forced them to relax. "Nothing. It's around here somewhere."

"Can you get it? I want to see the stars again." Beomgyu had smiled at Yeonjun cutely, changing his voice into the cute plea he used to get his way. "Please?"

Yeonjun didn't immediately stand up, oddly enough.

"Why?" He had asked instead, laughing awkwardly. "You can just borrow it if you want to see them. I don't mind."

Beomgyu frowns. "No, I don't want to borrow it. I just wanted to see them again. They looked pretty."

Looking reluctant, Yeonjun said, "Hang on. I'll get it, I guess."

And he did, looking like he had swallowed a lemon when he set it down on floor in front of them. Beomgyu had perked up initially, but Yeonjun's sudden stiffness dulled the excitement a little, as did the small space he suddenly realized was put between them. He didn't like that at all.

"Can we set it up again?"

"If you want."

Beomgyu set up the projector on a stool with Yeonjun's help at the foot of the bed, and then he pulled Yeonjun to it like he owned the place. Yeonjun followed him, but didn't immediately reach for him. When Beomgyu turned the lights off and struggled with the projector, Yeonjun remained silent. There was rustling as Vivienne moved through the apartment. 

When the stars lit up on Yeonjun's ceiling again, Beomgyu beamed, turning to the older boy triumphantly. "Got it!"

And he scrambled onto his back on the mattress, staring up. He waited for Yeonjun to press shoulder to shoulder with him, but he didn't. 

"They're pretty." Beomgyu said into the silence of the room, unsure why he felt so uncomfortable when silences had long since stopped making him nervous with Yeonjun. "I did tell you they were pretty, right? I like them."

Yeonjun hums noncommittally. Beomgyu tries not to think about the way his stomach is starting to twist with anxiety.

The silence is heavier after that, and Beomgyu turns his head to see Yeonjun staring straight up at the stars, his fingers across his stomach, and he was fiddling with him the way he did when he was anxious. 

"Yeonjunnie-hyung." Beomgyu asked, waiting for Yeonjun to acknowledge him. Yeonjun didn't turn, but he hummed again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Yeonjun immediately said, his tone off. Too casual. "Why do you think something is wrong?"

It felt stupid to say, but Beomgyu was brave. "Because you're quiet. You're not this quiet."

"I'm enjoying the view." Yeonjun said, and still he stared straight up. Beomgyu's heart twisted. "They're pretty."

"...Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

Beomgyu waits, fidgets, and says, "Because the last time, I blew up on you wrongly. I was really mean to you the last time."

"It's fine, we've already moved past it." Yeonjun immediately said, and this time he did turn to Beomgyu, a small smile on his lips. "Are you worried?"

"A little."

"Don't be." Yeonjun shakes his head, and he twists to his side. "Really. I'm not mad at you. Why would I be mad over that? You know me better than that."

Beomgyu likes to think that he did, but he also doesn't think he knows quite as much as he would like. So, he scoots closer instead of speaking, and takes Yeonjun's hand in his. 

"I-I've wanted a date under the stars for a while now." Beomgyu admits. "It was really nice of you to do that for me, back then."

"It wasn't a date, Beomgyu." Yeonjun reminds him, and now his smile looks a little sadder. "I just wanted to do something nice for you. I didn't have any other motives."

"I know that." Beomgyu exhales. "I'm trying to thank you. For setting that up for me. And…I guess I'm trying to make up for it now."

"There's nothing to make up for." Yeonjun insists.

"There is." Bravely, Beomgyu laces their fingers together, and lets them relax in the space between them. "Is this okay?"

Yeonjun swallows, then nods, and he turns to stare back up at the stars. 

He really is pretty. Beomgyu hasn't met a prettier person. It had been intimidating, at first. Yeonjun was so pretty, so beautiful and talented, and he was good with people. It had made Beomgyu nervous, and a little insecure. The attraction Yeonjun had for Beomgyu made no sense, because why would Yeonjun want him?

Maybe instead of questioning why Yeonjun would want him, Beomgyu should have been wondering how he could keep Yeonjun wanting him. Perhaps, if Beomgyu had stopped and seen the Choi Yeonjun he knows now, he wouldn't have wasted all that anger, all that anxiety and distance, on a cause he now had to make up for. He could have had many dates under the stars by now, if Beomgyu had given Yeonjun the chance. 

Beomgyu rolls over, steading himself and then he leans over Yeonjun. The older boy stares up at him, a little confused, a lot stunned, and entirely too affectionate to be real. He leans down, and they kiss, and Beomgyu thinks he should have done this on that first night Yeonjun had prepared for him so meticulously. 

It had escalated, as it often did. Beomgyu couldn't stop himself once he started, had never been good at doing things in mediums. He was zero-to-one-hundred, all-or-nothing. Greyscales had never been right for him, yet he was operating under the monochromatic pallet as he mouthed over the pulse of Yeonjun's throat, gently scraping his nails into the others scalp, drinking in the soft pants from Yeonjun as Beomgyu kissed his skin. 

And then Beomgyu was the one staring up at Yeonjun against a backdrop of stars, the one being caged in and kissed breathlessly, the one with his hands being gently pushed into the pillows as their lips moved together. He was the one arching up his back and wriggling his hands free to pull at Yeonjun's clothes, to pull him closer. He was the one who found himself trying to sneak his hands to the band of Yeonjun's pants, fingers shaking, feeling pent up and overwhelmed at the same time. Beomgyu was desperate for proof that this was alright, that this was something he was allowed to have. He was desperate to see Yeonjun's expression twist in something other than blatant hurt and rejection, something other than humiliation Beomgyu had pretended wasn't there. He wanted to see Yeonjun tearing up in pleasure under these pretty stars he had gone through the trouble of setting up for Beomgyu, just to make him happy. 

So, Beomgyu fumbled with the button and zipper of Yeonjun's pants, unbothered when Yeonjun subtly moves his hands away and gently pushes them down. He changes direction, thinking maybe Yeonjun is just shy, and he skims them up under his shirt against his skin, earning a shiver. This touch Yeonjun doesn't reject. He leans into it, sighs in contentment when Beomgyu runs his hands down his stomach. The kisses are sloppier, wetter, and Beomgyu once again finds himself dipping towards Yeonjun's hips, onto to yet again have his hands redirected. This time, Beomgyu stops. 

He stops kissing Yeonjun, frustrated and a little confused, and Yeonjun seems to notice. He won't meet Beomgyu's eyes when they part.

"Why won't you let me touch you?" Beomgyu asks, and he knows he should be understanding. He knows that if he were a better person, he would have asked Yeonjun if he wanted to stop. But that's not the question at hand. Yeonjun had no issues touching Beomgyu, he even seemed eager for it, waiting for permission to do so. He only skittered away from Beomgyu's touch. "You keep...pushing me away."

"I don't need you to return the favor." Yeonjun tells him, and the way he won't look Beomgyu in the eyes is all Beomgyu needs to know that Yeonjun is lying. 

"Is it the projector? The stars? You've been weird since I asked about them." 

"No." Yeonjun shakes his head, his shoulders curling in like he's trying to make himself smaller. Slowly, he backs away from Beomgyu. It makes him nervous, and he sits up and follows him, reaching out to take Yeonjun's hand before he runs away. Beomgyu is afraid if he does, Yeonjun won't come back to him. "It's nothing. I just...I feel good watching you feel good."

It should be an answer that Beomgyu accepts, but he doesn't. He won't. "I thought you wanted me."

It's the wrong thing to say. Yeonjun tries to pull away, but Beomgyu won't let him. He holds Yeonjun's hands tighter, anchoring them together. 

"You're not being fair." Yeonjun finally tells Beomgyu, glaring at the mattress. His voice is small. "You know that I do. You...You're not being fair. This isn't fair to me, Beomgyu."

Beomgyu feels like he's been punched in the gut. "I'm sorry. I know, I shouldn't have brought it up, but...But I thought, since you said...I thought you would want me to..."

Yeonjun seems to wrestle with himself a little before he mumbles, "I can't."

"You can't want me?" Beomgyu slides closer, trying to tug Yeonjun in. "It's okay. I don't mind. I want to make you feel good too."

"I can't." He insists, louder but no less fragile. "I can't do this with you if you don't mean it. I—" Yeonjun takes a deep breath. "I don't want you to kiss me anymore."

Beomgyu grows cold. "What?"

"If you're going to insist on saying it means nothing, then I don't want you kissing me anymore." Yeonjun repeats. He stands up, Beomgyu too stunned to hold him in place. Yeonjun looks down at him with a serious expression. "I'm not kissing you unless you mean it. Not unless it's romantic."

Beomgyu stutters, "Why would I—Why would I kiss you romantically? Yeonjunnie-hyung, I—"

Yeonjun closes his eyes, sighing deeply. He says, not looking at Beomgyu, "Because you have feelings for me, too, but you're apparently too fucking stubborn to admit it to me, or yourself."

Beomgyu gapes at him. "Hyung, what...Why are you saying—"

"Because you won't do it." Yeonjun snaps, and it's odd to hear. He doesn't raise his voice, but it's sharper. It forces Beomgyu to stop speaking, stunned by the frustration on Yeonjun's face. There's a fire in his eyes he hasn't seen before. Yeonjun has always been so soft with him, hesitant, afraid to reach out. "I'm tired of kissing you under these stupid excuses. You know friends don't kiss. You know that you're not acting friendly at all. I'm not as clueless as you think I am. I was playing along because you clearly weren't ready, but I can't wait for you to be ready and have you constantly doing these things that tell me you are while you're insisting that we're nothing. I—” Yeonjun runs his hand through his hair, messing it up. "You either kiss me for real, or not at all."

"...Why would I kiss you then?" Beomgyu asks stupidly, still clinging to the stupid excuse.

Yeonjun looks him in the eye finally, and he softens just a touch. He sounds kinder, gentler, when he tells Beomgyu, "Because you have very real, not-platonic feelings for me that you, for some reason, think you can't tell me about even though I've been telling you over and over that I want you, too."

Beomgyu goes silent, staring at Yeonjun. He feels like a fish, slow and stupid, and it takes him a few moments to breath out. "S-So if I asked you to kiss me, and I meant it, you would?"

"I would." Yeonjun steps closer. "If you meant it. If you wanted it." Wanted me, Yeonjun doesn't say.

"Can I kiss you then?" Beomgyu asks, brave.

Yeonjun steps a little closer, in reach and Beomgyu reaches out to him and takes his hand in his own. "For real?"

"Yes." Beomgyu's words came out stronger. "Yes, for real. Not platonic."

Yeonjun's expression breaks into a smile.

Its the best kiss Beomgyu has ever had.

-

Yawnzzning uploaded a video! #VLOG @bambamgyu and I are shopping to go out later

-

"Think about it." Yeonjun had told Beomgyu before he had left the next day, pressing a soft, barely there kiss to his forehead. Beomgyu had whined and puckered his lips, demanding a kiss on them, but Yeonjun had just tapped them with his finger and insisted. "I need you to really think about it, and be sure. I...I need you to be sure you want me. I can't...I can't get my hopes up and have you change your mind. So, think about it, and if you decide you really do want me...then..."

He had trailed off, but Beomgyu hadn't pushed. He had heard the insecurity that had creeped into Yeonjun's words, had seen the way he'd had to compose himself with a breath before continuing. So, Beomgyu had only nodded, and squeezed Yeonjun's hands before letting go and stepping back.

"Okay." Beomgyu had said softly, and he wanted to tell Yeonjun he didn't have to think about it, that he had thought about it plenty already, but the fragility of the way Yeonjun trusted him with these insecurities was heavy in his heart, and Beomgyu didn't want to hurt him. If yeonjun needed Beomgyu to think more, Beomgyu would think, and he was sure he would only find more reasons to be sure he wanted Yeonjun. "Okay, but can I have one more kiss before I go?"

Yeonjun had rolled his eyes but indulged Beomgyu nonetheless, and he had waved at Beomgyu as he left.

That was two weeks ago.

They still saw each other quite regularly, but Beomgyu had reminded himself not to kiss Yeonjun, though the urge grew every day. When they hung out, he wanted to be next to him, and when Yeonjun swung by the Catfe, Beomgyu took every opportunity to sneak in a few words with Yeonjun, a few moments. 

They still hung out at Yeonjun's place, too, and it was there that Yeonjun had been softly stroking Vivienne's fur that he admitted, "You and her are a lot alike, you know."

"What?" Beomgyu hadn't been sure if he should take that comparison as an offense or not. "We are not alike."

"You are, though." Yeonjun smiled softly. "You're both prickly little assholes that secretly are whiny, needy little babies that just want to be doted on. You're both withdrawn at first, but when you like someone, you bloom, and it's beautiful."

Beomgyu stared at Vivienne, then at Yeonjun. "You're insane. We are nothing alike. She's the devil."

"You're not exactly a saint, either."

Bemogyu had sputtered and had listed all the reasons he and the cat were different, but later, when Yeonjun had fallen asleep on the sofa while Beomgyu did homework on the floor, and Vivienne had crept up in front of him and crouched to stare at Beomgyu work, he had paused.

Vivienne had adored Yeonjun from the moment she met him, drawn in by how good he was. Cats were excellent judges of character, as his coworkers told him. A man who is good with cats is a man that can be trusted, just a little bit. Yeonjun had been kind and gentle to her from the first moment he had interacted with her, even knowing that Vivienne was prone to lashing out. He had offered his hand to her and waited, and held her so close to his chest she must have felt the love that radiated off of him.

Cautiously, Beomgyu extended a hand out to her, waiting. Vivienne sniffed.

The tip of her wet, pink nose touched his finger and she slowly crouched back into her original position, staring owlishly at Beomgyu. She didn't hiss.

"I guess you can't be all bad." Beomgyu mused in a whisper. "If you like him, you can't be that bad."

Though Beomgyu still thought it was bullshit what Yeonjun had said about him and Vivienne being alike, Beomgyu could at least see on thing they shared: they both bloomed under Choi Yeonjun's attention, and craved it like it was the sun. 

-

It has come to Beomgyu attention that Choi Yeonjun is amazing. He is so pretty it aches to look at him, so thoughtful Beomgyu's heart flutters just thinking about how Yeonjun cares for him, and he is gentle. He is funny, and silly, and he sulks when he doesn't get his way. He is indulgent and weak to his friend's whims.

He's perfect. He's everyone you could want in a boyfriend.

It has come to Beomgyu's attention that he is not the only one to think so.

It comes from Jisoo. 

She is sitting with Yeonjun at the Catfe, having come in shortly after Yeonjun had said goodbye to Wooyoung and settled to wait for Beomgyu to finish his shift. He'd worked the morning shift that day, so he would be free to leave as soon as the clock struck 2pm. Yeonjun wanted to go shopping for new shoes with Beomgyu after this, and Beomgyu had eagerly agreed.

Jisoo had sat down in front of Yeonjun with a nervous twist of her hair. Beomgyu had noticed right away when she'd gone to Yeonjun, because Yeonjun had sat up a little straighter and smiled politely. He'd been staring at the cats in the Catio before her arrival, giggling when the cats did something particularly silly. 

It was 1:45pm.

Beomgyu had fifteen minutes left to his shift. He tried not to be to obvious of the way he kept looking over, though he knew his coworker must've already caught on. She was glancing curiously between Yeonjun and him.

"Do we not like that girl?" Wheein had asked, ready to hate on whoever had earned Beomgyu's ire.

"That depends on why she's twirling her hair..." Beomgyu said through gritted teeth.

"Go find out." She encouraged, and Beomgyu didn't need to be told twice.

It felt like deja vu, like Beomgyu was walking through time, except instead of Felix hopefully asking Yeonjun out on a date, it was Jisoo wringing her hands together and nervously stammering a confession.

"—and I know this is going to seem sudden, but I felt like I should say it while I feel brave. I've liked you for a long time now, and I think you're kind, and lovely, and....and I have feelings for you." Jisoo said all on one frantic breath.

Yeonjun's expression was strained. He was frowning and saying something, but Beomgyu wasn't listening anymore. All he could see what how Jisoo had reached out and set her hand on Yeonjun's arm, how she was staring at him hopefully, and suddenly, Beomgyu found himself behind Yeonjun's chair, leaning over and wrapping the older boy in a hug, propping his chin on his shoulder. 

With a sugary sweet smile, Beomgyu said, "Junnie-hyung, I'm ready to go."

Yeonjun turned, expression stunned, cheeks pink. "Hey, I thought you weren't done for another—"

"Nope, I got off early." Beomgyu cut in, and then he looked at Jisoo, smile sharper. "Hi, Jisoo-noona. You don't mind if I steal Junnie-hyung, right?"

Jisoo leaned back. "Um, well...I guess—"

"You're the best." Beomgyu chirped, and then he pressed a kiss to Yeonjun's cheek, lingering before slowly pulling away. "I'm going to grab my stuff and I'll be right out. Wait for me?"

Yeonjun nodded, flustered, and Beomgyu indulged in one more kiss on his cheek before rushing to grab his shit. He offered a hasty explanation to his coworker, who only waved him off.

"Go collect your man. He looks like he's going to pass out."

"God, he's cute." Beomgyu whined, and rushed. 

Yeonjun was, in fact, waiting for Beomgyu at the table, and Jisoo was nowhere in sight. He tried not to be too obviously pleased by this, but he suspected Yeonjun knew. 

"Let's go to your apartment?" Beomgyu asked Yeonjun as he approached, shyly. "I-I want to talk."

Yeonjun could only nod.

-

[A transcription of the conversation between Beomgyu and Yeonjun:

BEOMGYU: I've thought about it, like you wanted, and I'm sure. I want you. I want to date you. I want to be your boyfriend, and to kiss you romantically. You were right when you said I have feelings for you, I was just stubborn because I'd already rejected you so many times. Will you let me kiss you now, as your boyfriend?

YEONJUN: Are you sure? 

BEOMGYU: Hyung, I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to date you. I want you to date me. I want people to know we're dating each other so they can stop trying to ask you out in front of me.

YEONJUN: [Laughs.] So, this is jealousy? You're so cute. You know I only like you.

BEOMGYU: [Pout.] I like you too, and I want you. So, can we date? Can we be disgusting and make Soobin hate us with how affectionate we are?

YEONJUN: Yes, Beoms. If you're really sure, yeah I'd love to be your boyfriend.

[They kiss. After a while, Beomgyu pulls away but remains hugging Yeonjun.]

BEOMGYU: [Hugging Yeonjun.] Can I touch you now that you know it's for real?

YEONJUN: God, yes. Please.

BEOMGYU: Bed.

YEONJUN: You're hot when you're bossy.]

That's how Beomgyu finds himself sitting back on Yeonjun's thighs, his fingers lazily wrapped around the elder's cock, stroking him slowly as Yeonjun shook and covered his eyes with an arm slung over them, panting, and looking so, so overwhelmed already. 

It was cute how sensitive Yeonjun was. Beomgyu hadn't expected someone who looked that hot to fold so quickly with just a few tugs on his dick, and yet there was Choi Yeonjun on his back, occasionally peeking past his arm to see Beomgyu watching him for every minute reaction, and moaning when Beomgyu did something he really liked. 

He felt dizzy, high on euphoria, when he saw the way just a touch had Yeonjun so wrecked. He wondered what the other boy would look like later, if they had more patience to properly drag out the foreplay. Beomgyu wasn't feeling patient enough this time, though.

"Jun." Beomgyu breathed, "Hyung, how do you want to do this?"

"Hm?"

"How do you want to do this?" Beomgyu repeated, pulling Yeonjun's arm away from his face. Beomgyu wanted to see. "Do you want to top? Should I?"

Red faced, Yeonjun said, "Either. I don't care. Whatever you want."

Beomgyu didn't like that answer. He's sure the pout on his face shows it, because Yeonjun closes his eyes.

He amends, "I mean...I mean, I just want to see you. That's all."

Beomgyu pouted, but then he said, "Tell me what you want. I want you to feel good, too. You've been so good to me so far, taken such good care of me. Made me cum so hard I see stars." 

Yeonjun's cock gives a little jump at his words. "You can't just say that."

"But it's true." Beomgyu insists. "Tell me what you want? I could just suck your dick, too, if you're nervous. I'm good at that."

Yeonjun actually whines at that, but he shakes his head. Reaching for Beomgyu, he threads their fingers together and mumbles something Beomgyu can't hear. 

"Speak up, hyung." Beomgyu complains.

Yeonjun is beet red, averting his eyes. "Wanna fuck you. You—You're so hot, and it's been a while, so..."

"Okay." Beomgyu agrees easily. "Fuck me, then. Where's the lube?"

Yeonjun twists, trying to reach the bedside drawer while Beomgyu watches him, amused. He tries to move Beomgyu as little as possible, apparently, and Beomgyu doesn't feel jostled. He settles his hands in front of him, fingers tracing the skin of Yeonjun's stomach, dipping down the soft trimmed hair back to his dick, and Yeonjun actually spasms a little at the touch.

Beomgyu finds a container of lube tossed at him, and then a condom packet, and Beomgyu nods gratefully. There's a moment where Beomgyu tries to decide how to do this, and he knows it's going to get awkward soon, but he really has no idea what the easiest way would be to stretch himself open.

So, he looks Yeonjun in the eye with a jut of his lips. "Prep me?"

Yeonjun can't nod fast enough.

They switch positions, Beomgyu now on his back with a pillow nestled nice and comfortable under his hips, and Yeonjun settled between his parted thighs. He seems more comfortable like this, knelt there before Beomgyu rather than on his back. Beomgyu tries to encourage Yeonjun to hurry by wiggling his hips in invitation, his hands on his belly.

"You're so pretty." Yeonjun sighs, spreading lube on his finger and probing at Beomgyu's hole, earning a shiver of anticipation. "The prettiest. You've driven me insane since I met you."

Beomgyu blinks up at him, "Weren't you drunk and crying when we met?"

"Yeah." Yeonjun shrugs, sliding his finger in. Beomgyu scrunched his face up a little at the sensation, but smoothed it out quickly enough. "And then you sucked me off so good I thought about it for years."

"I remember that." Beomgyu recalled with a giggle. He vaguely recalled the party he had briefly hooked up with Yeonjun, because it was the first time Beomgyu had eagerly dropped to his knees and even mouthed at a clothed dick for just one chance, because Yeonjun was pretty, and Yeonjun made pretty noises when he tried not to fuck into Beomgyu's mouth. Beomgyu had never liked it like that when he gave head, preferring to set the pace for himself and slowly take apart his partners with his tongue and fingers. Yeonjun hadn't had any complaints.

Hell, he seemed to get more riled up when Beomgyu had firmly held his hips down to the mattress and swallowed him, refusing to let him move.

This was a little similar. Yeonjun tested every one of Beomgyu's reactions as he slowly added another finger inside Beomgyu, and then another, and until Beomgyu was panting and squirming for more, his fingers bunched into the sheets below him, head tossed back. 

"Fuck, hyung." Beomgyu moaned, body jolting when Yeonjun crooked his fingers a little. "Fuck! Stop teasing, I'm ready. C'mon."

Yeonjun seemed enraptured by Beomgyu's expressions, distracted by it and even his fingers had stopped moving inside him. Beomgyu whined, digging the heel of his foot into Yeonjun's spine to urge him to listen. Yeonjun stumbled but didn't see to process.

"Hyung." Beomgyu insisted, reaching out to pull Yeonjun into a kiss as the fingers slid out of him. He felt horribly empty, gasping. "God, just fuck me already. C'mon, use your cock. I want you inside me already, c'mon hyung, please? Don't you want to?"

Yeonjun dropped his head, groaning softly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll fuck you, just—"

Beomgyu feels Yeonjun pull away, and he's impatient as Yeonjun uses shaky hands to reach for the condom packet, and he's quite literally waiting with parted legs ready to take everything Yeonjun wants to give him, and then Beomgyu sees it.

"Hyung." Beomgyu starts, starting to feel uncomfortable. "Yeonjun."

"What? What's wrong?"

Beomgyu pointed, his face red. "She's watching me!"

There, across the room on the back of the sofa, Vivienne Westwood was staring straight at Beomgyu with large, buggy green eyes. It didn't look like she cared too much, but the fact that she was there, and if Beomgyu opened his eyes he could make eye contact with her, made him almost grow soft.

"She'll leave in a second." Yeonjun said, unbothered. 

Beomgyu shook his head, "No, she's staring. Hyung, I don't like that she's staring."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Yeonjun frowned. For all his attitude earlier, he was being rather cute about this. 

"Put here somewhere! Another room!" Beomgyu insisted, looking at Vivienne again. Yep, she was still staring. "I can't—If she's watching me, we can't do this."

Yeonjun looks pained. "Locking her up seems...mean."

"She'll be fine." 

"Beomgyu..."

"Junnie." Beomgyu says seriously, and he starts to pull his knees back together, relishing the mournful look Yeonjun gives him. "Junnie, if she's in the room, I'm not fucking you. Put her in the bathroom." There was still hesitation, so Beomgyu pulled out his ultimate weapon: the puppy dog eyes. "Please, hyung? I wanna feel you so bad, are you really gonna—"

Yeonjun was already getting up, apologizing to Vivienne as he picked her up and went to the bathroom. The tap ran a little before he returned.

"You better have washed your hands if you're going to fuck me." Beomgyu warned idly, and Yeonjun just rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying."

"Of course I did." Yeonjun sighed, "Should I go do it again in the kitchen so you can see?"

Beomgyu nods, and to his delight, Yeonjun gets up and does exactly that. He comes back with red ears and his erection has softened a little, but Beomgyu is pleased at the easy way Yeonjun has listened. As a treat, he beckons Yeonjun over, guiding him to sit.

"Let me ride you." Beomgyu says, and Yeonjun eagerly gets into a comfortable position again as Beomgyu swings his legs over his hips. Its easy to be casual with Yeonjun, easier than he had thought. Beomgyu feels himself smiling dopily as Yeonjun uses his hands to add extra support to his thighs when Beomgyu lifts up and reaches behind him to line up Yeonjun's covered cock with his hole, pleased at the wet lube Yeonjun had already spread over the condom.

Slowly, he sinks down onto Yeonjun, closing his eyes as he does and allowing himself to lose himself to the sensations. It's good, and warm, and hot, and much thicker than fingers. He feels pleasantly filled, not so much that it hurts, but enough that he can feel it with every movement. Beomgyu grinds his hips into a little circle for a moment, breath hitching, then he opens his eyes.

Yeonjun is watching him like he has never seen anything better. His lips are parted, eyes half lidded and sultry, and his hands are digging into the flesh of the back of Beomgyu's thighs.

"Feels good." Beomgyu sighs happily, rocking himself back on the cock. "Really good, Yeonjun-hyung. Fuck."

"Yeah." Yeonjun agrees, voice breathy. "You're so..."

"Hot?" Beomgyu offers, lifting himself slowly up and sinking back down, moaning quietly. "Pretty? Sexy?"

"Yes. All of those things." Yeonjun agrees. "God, you're--"

Yeonjun is a horny babbler, Beomgyu knows. He tends to run his mouth when he's turned on. He remembers the things Yeonjun had said when Beomgyu had been sucking him off. It's somehow more satisfying to hear it now, to know that Yeonjun's brain to mouth filter was failing because Beomgyu was slowly and methodically fucking himself on Yeonjun's dick.

The pace was nice and easy to maintain, and it kept Yeonjun's cock as deep inside him as he could get. Beomgyu braced himself with his hands on Yeonjun's stomach as he slowly picked up the pace, though, finding his rhythm with a groan. Slowly, the wet sounds of Beomgyu bouncing himself on Yeonjun started to fill the apartment, accented with the hitched breathing and the soft, almost inaudible moans from Yeonjun. 

A particularly good bounce had Beomgyu spasming, his back arching and a squeak coming from his lips, and he shook as he accidentally found the sensitive spot inside him. The next time he bounced onto it, Beomgyu ground himself as best he could into it, and he nearly cried with how good it was. 

The pleasure built up steadily, aided by the way Yeonjun had planted his feet into the mattress and started to cant his hips up to meet each of Beomgyu's bounces, resulting in a harder pace, and Beomgyu's declining mental cognition. He babbled, unsure what he said, but it didn't matter because it was spurring Yeonjun on. He dug his fingers into Beomgyu's legs as he fucked up into the younger, staring right at him like he wanted to commit how Beomgyu looked riding him to memory.

Beomgyu was starting to grow tired, though he kept trying. He didn't want to have to stop, didn't want the pleasure to end, so instead, he paused and fell against Yeonjun, pleading. "F-Fuck me. C'mon, hyung. I want you to fuck me. I need to feel you deep in me, please."

The way Yeonjun's expression darkened just a fraction was hot, and so was the way he suddenly sat up, jostling Beomgyu a little, and wrapped around his waist. He braced himself with an arm behind him, and bucked up, and Beomgyu swore he could cry.

"Yes, just like that." Beomgyu sighed, his head falling back. He really was getting tired. "Just like that. Keep—"

Yeonjun flipped Beomgyu onto his back, stunning him but only for a moment because he was too busy trying to suck in a breath at the sight of Yeonjun in between his spread legs, wrapping an arm under his waist and lifting him up off the bed, pulling him onto his cock as he slid back in harshly. This time, Beomgyu did sob, blissed. "Fuck! Yes, like that. Harder, c'mon. Fuck me harder hyung."

"Harder?" Yeonjun repeated, slamming his hips into Beomgyu. Beomgyu shut his eyes, nodding quickly, back arching up. "Want me to fuck you so hard you feel me in the morning?"

Beomgyu's nodding grows more enthusiastic, little sobs of yes, hyung, wanna feel you tumbling past his lips. Yeonjun was goaded by them, somehow setting a pace that Beomgyu found too painfully good to pay proper attention. He was shaking, his thigh growing weak and stars danced in his vision. Yeonjun's hips meeting his ass created a wet slap that was unmistakable, and loud, and Beomgyu loved it. He loved hearing it, loved feeling it, loved that he could feel himself growing closer, closer.

Beomgyu reached out his arms for Yeonjun, and Yeonjun let his back his the mattress as he readily went into them, his breathing heavy and quiet moans music to Beomgyu's ears when Yeonjun settled in the crook of his neck. With him bent over Beomgyu like this, Beomgyu's cock brushed just the slightest against Yeonjun's stomach, and he knew he was leaking, but he was more concerned with the way Yeonjun was beginning to shake.

His moans were growing more desperate, whinier, more punched out. "Fuck, fuck, you feel good. So good and tight around my cock, Beomgyu. Take me so well. Hyung feels so good inside you, fuck."

Even as Yeonjun's voice sounded more desperate, his hips continued the harsh pace Beomgyu was seeing stars with, his arms straining to hold him, and Beomgyu reaching up to hold him tight around his neck. He hooked his ankles around Yeonjun's hips, clinging. Yeonjun had no choice but to slow to deep rolls of his hips, gasping into Beomgyu's skin. He mouthed at it, kissed and sucked a mark, and Beomgyu could feel the way he was getting so close.

He reached a hand down and took himself in hand, stroking too quickly to have a rhythm, his other hand holding onto Yeonjun's shoulders tightly. 

"Close." He breathed, shutting his eyes. "Close, really close. Are you..."

Yeonjun nods into his skin. "Almost. I just need a little more. Need--"

Beomgyu didn't quite hear what he needed, because he was too busy whiting out, his body shivering as he came along his stomach, mouth dropped open in a silent moan. It felt like it went on forever, but when he came back to his body, Yeonjun was shaking above him, still inside, still hard, and Beomgyu said, "Keep going. Want you to."

And he did. 

When Yeonjun finished, it was with Beomgyu's fingers in his hair, his mouth licking into Yeonjun's, swallowing the sob as he finished, body shaking, and finally, collapsing on top of Beomgyu, crushing him. He didn't mind it, just held Yeonjun as he shook and came down slowly.

It was quiet for a while as they caught their breath, and then Yeonjun slowly pulled out, removing the condom and tying off the end, carefully disposing of it in the trash bin on shaky legs before returning with a warm washcloth he tried to wipe Beomgyu down with. His hands shook too much, the cloth slipping from his fingers so much Beomgyu took it upon himself to clean them both up instead. And then they laid there, Yeonjun on top of Beomgyu on his chest, settled in between Beomgyu's legs again, and Beomgyu petting his hair.

They fell asleep like that, and woke up together smiling and shy, and got ready for the day.

(Later, when Beomgyu arrived to lunch with his friends wearing Yeonjun's clothes and smelling like his shower products, Soobin took one look at him and grimaced. "Oh, ew. Afterglow."

Kai looked mildly disgusted too. "Are those..."

"Hickies?" Beomgyu finished, grinning ferally. "Yeah, aren't they pretty? Hyung has matching ones."

True enough, when Yeonjun meets up with them later, there's a certain pep in his step, and there are a few blooming bruises on his throat. The way he reaches Beomgyu and plops into his boyfriend's lap, whining about how Beomgyu left him napping like a cruel boyfriend, there was no doubt who had left the bruises there. Good. Beomgyu would hate to give the impression that Yeonjun is single. He isn't.

Yeonjun is happily taken by Choi Beomgyu, and they are happy parents to Miss Vivienne Westwood Choi, 6 years old, recently christened Little Cockblock.)

Yawnzzning has uploaded a new video! my boyfriend and my cat are conspiring against me

Bamgyuuuu commented: baby

reply from yawnzzning: petnames aren't going to ease the betrayal

reply from Bamgyuuuu: no i'm calling YOU a baby. my baby. stop pouting and come back before our child starts to cry

 

 

 

Bamgyuuu uploaded a video! I'm a (step)father now

kaikai commented: you're not just the stepdad, you're the dad that stepped up!

page.soobin commented: please don't encourage him its hard enough to keep his delusions down

solomyun commented: :((((( when is it my turn to be happy and adopt a cat with the loml