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2024-05-12
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Distance Makes the Heart Fonder

Notes:

this is dedicated to my one of my besties, Cody, in honor of him winning The Bet this year

and an extra super special thank you to Taylor for beta reading this for me <3

Cody, you might've won this year. But next year, the tables will turn! Congrats on the dub, friend.

Work Text:

“Hey dude, we’re almost ready with the bonfire,” one of Matthew’s childhood friends called out to him as they all gathered around the towering pyre of wooden logs. The sun was beginning to set over the sky in Phoenix, casting a warm, golden glow across the horizon. Matthew glanced over at his friend, his lips twitching into a small smile. 

 

“I’ll join you guys soon, I just need to do something first…” Matthew said, turning his attention away from the fire. He glanced around, making sure no one was looking, and then took out his phone.

 

With shaking fingers, he unlocked the screen and quickly navigated to his text messages. There, at the top of the list, was a message from Joseph that he had been avoiding all day. It had been sent a week ago, just before they had left for their offseason training. He took a deep breath and opened it, bracing himself for the words he knew were inside.

 

"Hey buddy, just wanted to say I miss you like crazy. This summer is going to be brutal without you. I hope you're doing okay out there. Let me know if you need anything. Love ya, man."

 

Matthew's heart ached as he read the words, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He wanted nothing more than to respond to Joseph immediately, to tell him that he missed him too, that he loved him. But he couldn't. Not yet. Not until he was sure of his feelings. Not until he knew what they meant.

 

He took a moment to compose himself, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped his eye. He couldn't let anyone see him like this, and he couldn't let them know the truth. He closed the message and put his phone away, taking a deep breath to steady his racing heart.

 

"You alright, Matt?" one of his friends asked, nudging him gently with his elbow. "You've been kinda quiet all day."

 

Matthew forced a smile, trying to appear calm and collected. "Yeah, I'm good. Just miss being in Toronto, y'know? It's weird being away from everyone and everything I'm used to." He glanced over at the fire, feeling the warmth of the flames on his face. "But hey, it's part of the job, right?"

 

His friend nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I guess so. But you know where you can always find us, man. We'll always be here for you."

 

The fire crackled and popped, casting flickering shadows across their faces. Matthew forced a laugh, trying to brush off the melancholy that still lingered in his heart. "Yeah, I appreciate that. Thanks, guys."

 

He took a step closer to the fire, feeling its warmth seep into his bones. As he looked around at his friends, he realized that he was surrounded by people who cared about him, who would support him no matter what. But there was only one person who truly understood what he was going through.

 

Matthew couldn't help but wonder if he would ever be able to confide in them about his feelings. He knew that if he did, it would change everything. It would change their relationship. He wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

 

As the night wore on, they continued to share stories and laughter around the fire. The stars began to twinkle in the sky, and a cool breeze rustled through the trees. It was a beautiful night, yet Matthew felt increasingly distant from his friends.

 

He couldn't shake the image of Joseph's message from his mind. The words echoed in his ears, refusing to be ignored. He wondered if Joseph was thinking about him too, if he missed him as much as he missed Joseph. The thought made his chest ache with longing.

 

As the night wore on, Matthew found himself drawn away from the fire and into the darkness. The stars seemed brighter, the air clearer; as if everything around him was amplifying his feelings. He wandered through the woods near the rental house until he found a quiet spot where he could be alone with his thoughts.

 

He sat down on a fallen log, staring up at the night sky. The constellations twinkled overhead, each one a reminder of the vastness of the universe. It made him feel small and insignificant, yet simultaneously connected to something greater than himself.

 

Matthew's thoughts kept returning to Joseph. He wondered what Joseph was doing right now. The idea that they might share these same feelings, that they might understand each other in a way that no one else could... it was both terrifying and exhilarating.

 

He let out a sigh, gazing up at the stars. A shooting star streaked across the sky, its tail of light leaving a brief, sparkling trail. He made a silent wish, hoping that somehow, things could be different. That they could be together, no matter what it took.

 

Matthew leaned back against the log, feeling the bark digging into his shoulder blades. It was a minor discomfort, but it somehow grounded him in the present moment. He tried to focus on the here and now, on the warmth of the night air and the soft rustle of the leaves around him. But his mind kept drifting back to Joseph.

 

He remembered the first time they'd met, how they'd instantly clicked. They'd spent hours talking, laughing, sharing stories. It felt like they'd known each other for years, and yet it was only their second time meeting. Their connection was so strong, so natural, that it was almost impossible to ignore. Even now, as they were apart, he could feel that invisible thread that bound them together.

 

Matthew closed his eyes, trying to imagine what it would be like to see Joseph again. He pictured them sitting beside each other, just like they used to—their shoulders brushing, their hands grazing against one another. He imagined the way Joseph's laugh would fill the air, how it would make everything around them seem brighter, more alive. He could almost feel the warmth of his breath on his skin, the gentle pressure of his touch.

 

The longer he sat there lost in his thoughts, the more he realized that he couldn't continue like this. He couldn't keep these feelings bottled up inside any longer. He had to find a way to let all his emotions out healthily, or else they would consume him. Determined, he stood up, brushing the dirt and leaves off his pants.

 

As he walked back toward the bonfire, the sounds of laughter and music grew louder. The flames danced in the darkness, casting flickering shadows across the faces of his friends. They were all having such a good time, and yet Matthew couldn't help but feel like an outsider looking in. He wished he could just join them, to feel a part of things again.

 

“I’m going to head off to bed now, if that's alright with everyone," Matthew announced, brushing at his pants some more. "I'll see you all in the morning."

 

There were a few goodbyes and sleepy nods, but for the most part, everyone seemed to be having too much fun to notice his departure. He didn't mind, though. In fact, it gave him a slight sense of relief to know that they were all enjoying themselves without him.

 

Matthew returned to his bedroom in the house they had rented for a few days, the darkness pressing against him like a heavy cloak. He noticed a small stack of paper sitting neatly on the desk near the window when an idea popped into his head.

 

He sat down at the desk and turned on his laptop, quickly typing in the password. Once logged in, he opened a new document and began to type out a letter to Joseph. His fingers flew across the keyboard as he described the adventures he had so far in the offseason, the new friends he had made, and the ways in which he had grown as a person.

 

He poured out his heart, telling Joseph how much he missed him and how much he wanted to see him again. He didn't hold back, sharing every thought and feeling building up inside him for the past few months. As he typed, he felt a weight begin to lift from his chest, as if he could finally breathe again.

 

When he finished, he read the letter over, making sure it conveyed everything he wanted it to. Satisfied, he printed it out and folded it neatly, placing it in an envelope. He carefully addressed the envelope to Joseph, making sure his name was spelled correctly, and then sealed it shut.

 

For a moment, Matthew hesitated, unsure if he should send it. What if it caused more problems between them? What if Joseph didn't want to hear from him? But in the end, he decided that it was worth the risk. He owed it to himself, and to Joseph, to be honest about how he felt.

 

He slipped the letter into his pocket and crept out of the house early the following day, before anyone else was awake. He made his way to the post office, his heart racing as he approached the counter. The postal worker, a kind-looking older woman with graying hair, looked up at him expectantly. Without saying a word, Matthew handed her the envelope and paid for the postage to head to St. Louis, where Joseph was spending his offseason.

 

As he walked back to the group's rental house, he couldn't shake the feeling of nervousness that settled in his stomach. What if Joseph didn't get the letter? What if it got lost in the mail or thrown away by accident? He tried to distract himself with the thought of the upcoming season, but Joseph was always at the forefront of his mind.

 

Matthew soon stopped at a park to sit down and enjoy the peaceful scenery, trying to distract himself from the anxious thoughts that consumed him. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his social media feeds, but nothing seemed to take his mind off Joseph. The more time that passed, the more he began to wonder if he had made a mistake by sending the letter. Maybe he should have just kept his feelings to himself, like he had been doing for so long.

 

A few days later in St. Louis, Joseph was going about his day. He had spent the morning working out at the gym, trying to stay in shape for the upcoming season. As he showered and dressed, he checked his mailbox, expecting the usual bills and junk mail. But to his surprise, he found a letter from Matthew. His heart skipped a beat as he recognized his friend's familiar handwriting on the envelope.

 

Quickly tearing it open, he began to read the letter. Tears welled up in his eyes as he read about all the things Matthew had been doing and how much he had missed him. He felt a deep longing to see his friend again, to share these experiences with him, and to see where their relationship would go.

 

As he read on, he couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Part of him was happy that Matthew had finally been honest with him, but another part was scared. What if things change between them? What if things go wrong and they can't go back to just being friends? He wanted to respond to the letter right away, but he knew he needed time to process everything first.

 

Joseph spent the rest of the day lost in thought, replaying the events of the past few months in his mind. He remembered the way Matthew had looked at him when they were at the art museum, the way his heart had skipped a beat when they sat next to each other at the casino table during the charity event, and the comfort he felt when they were talking late into the night. It all came rushing back to him, making it impossible to ignore the depth of his own feelings.

 

He finally decided to respond to the letter later that night, once he had given himself some time to process everything. He sat down at his computer and began to type out a response, pouring out his heart onto the screen. He told Matthew how much he missed him too, and how he wished they were together more often. He admitted that he had always wondered if there was something more between them, but he was afraid to say anything for fear of ruining their friendship.

 

As he read over what he had written, he couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. It was cathartic to finally get his feelings out in the open. He hoped that Matthew would understand how he felt, and that they could find a way to navigate their relationship together.

 

He hurried off to the nearest stationery store to buy a box of envelopes, a pen and a pack of stamps, feeling a mixture of anticipation and trepidation as he prepared to send his reply to Matthew. He wanted nothing more than to be reunited with his friend and figure out where their relationship should go from here. Still, he was also afraid of the unknown. What if things weren’t the same between them? Would they be able to handle whatever happened next?

 

Back at his apartment Joseph carefully composed another letter, this time pouring all of his emotions onto the page by hand. He told Matthew that he felt the same way, emphasized that he had missed him terribly and wished they could see each other more often. He admitted that he had been afraid of ruining their friendship, but now he wasn't sure if he could go back to being just friends. He wrote about wanting to explore the possibility of something more between them, even if it meant taking things slowly and carefully.

 

As he finished the letter, Joseph felt a renewed confidence. He had finally put his heart on the line, and now all he could do was wait for Matthew's response.

 

The days that followed were agonizingly slow, as Joseph eagerly checked his mailbox every morning and evening, hoping to find a reply from Matthew. He tried to distract himself with his workouts and conditioning for the upcoming season. Still, his mind kept wandering back to their time together.

 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spotted a familiar envelope in his mailbox. His heart raced as he tore it open, eager to read Matthew's response. The letter was short and to the point, expressing relief that Joseph felt the same way he did. It went on to say that Matthew had been thinking about their situation and wanted to explore the possibility of something more between them.

 

As he read those words, the weight of relief lifted from Joseph's shoulders, and he couldn't help but smile. He immediately texted Matthew, eager to discuss their feelings further. They arranged to FaceTime each other later that evening, and as they talked, Joseph felt as though a weight had been lifted off his chest. They both agreed that they wanted to explore their relationship more to see where it could lead them.

 

As they continued to talk, they realized that they had been avoiding this conversation for far too long. They had been content with their friendship, but deep down, they both knew there was something more between them. They made plans to spend more time together, to go on dates and get to know each other better.

 

Even though Matthew was back in Phoenix and Joseph was in St. Louis, they found ways to keep their relationship strong. They talked on the phone every night and FaceTimed each other during the day when they had time off their busy schedules. Their connection grew deeper with each passing day, and they couldn't help but feel grateful for the chance to explore their feelings for one another.

 

Matthew even flew into St. Louis for Joseph’s birthday, surprising him with tickets to a sold-out concert. They spent the entire night dancing and laughing, their hands intertwined as they swayed to the music. The atmosphere was electric, and it felt like they were the only two people in the world. As they left the venue, Matthew leaned in and kissed Joseph under the starry sky, their lips moving in perfect harmony.

 

They strolled down the street, hand in hand, and eventually found themselves at a small, cozy coffee shop. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of soft jazz music filled the air. They sat down at a table by the window, watching the people walk by as they sipped their drinks. Matthew looked deep into Joseph's eyes, and they couldn't help but smile at each other.

 

"You know, I never thought I'd find someone like you," Matthew confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "You're everything I've ever wanted, and more."

 

Joseph's heart swelled with happiness as he looked into those crystal blue eyes. "You're the same for me," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss him again. He tasted coffee as their lips intertwined, sending shivers down his spine.

 

As they sat there, lost in each other, the sounds and sights around them faded away. It was as if they were the only two people in the world, existing in their own little bubble. They talked about their dreams and fears, their hopes and desires. They shared secrets and laughed at inside jokes, feeling closer to each other with every passing moment.

 

Their hands found each other again, intertwining as if they were always meant to be together. The soft touch of their fingers made their hearts flutter, and they couldn't help but sneak glances at each other. The sparkle in Joseph's eyes and the way Matthew's cheeks flushed whenever they kissed told a story of their own.

 

The hours passed like minutes, and the coffee shop began to empty out. They lingered, lost in their own little world, not wanting the moment to end. But as the last customer left, the door clicking shut with a finality that neither of them were ready for, reality slowly crept back in.

 

"So, you want to head back to your place or...?" Matthew asked tentatively, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

Joseph hesitated for a moment, savoring the warmth of Matthew's touch. "I don't want to go back yet," he said softly. "Can we... maybe find somewhere else?"

 

Matthew smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Of course, love. Let's find a quiet spot where we can continue this conversation." He leaned in and kissed Joseph again, their lips moving in perfect unison. They stood up from the table and made their way to the exit, hand in hand. As they stepped outside, the cool night air caressed their faces, and Matthew pulled Joseph close, wrapping his arms around him.

 

They began to walk, aimlessly at first, just enjoying the feel of each other's bodies pressed together. They wandered down a darkened alley, the only light coming from a few dim streetlamps. The shadows danced across their faces as they continued to talk and laugh, their voices lifting like a melody.

 

Eventually, they found themselves at the edge of the city, near a small park. The air was cool and crisp, and the stars were like diamonds sewn onto a velvet blanket above them. They sat down on a wooden bench, their bodies inches apart, lost in each other's gaze.

 

"You know," Matthew whispered, tracing a finger along Joseph's jawline, "I've always thought that love was this thing that happened to other people, but not to me. I never really understood it, you know? But now..." His voice trailed off as he leaned in to kiss him again.

 

Joseph felt the same way. He had never expected to find someone like Matthew, someone who made him feel the way he did. It was as if they were meant to be together, as if the universe had conspired to bring them here, to this moment. He couldn't help but wonder where their relationship would go from here.

 

As they sat there, lost in each other's eyes, the night seemed to fade away. They talked about everything and nothing at all, their words tumbling out in a rush of excitement and anticipation. The park around them felt like it was their own private world, a sanctuary where they could be together and forget about everything else.

 

From that moment on, their relationship only grew stronger. They talked about their dreams and aspirations, sharing their fears and insecurities. They explored the city together, discovering new restaurants and hidden gems. They even started training together, pushing each other to be better not only as athletes but also as individuals.

 

Their connection went beyond just being lovers; they were best friends, partners, and teammates. They understood each other in ways that no one else could, and they supported each other unconditionally. Even though they were both busy with their careers, they always made sure to set aside time for each other, whether it was a romantic dinner at home or a spontaneous weekend getaway.