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God Only Knows What I’d Be Without You

Chapter 2: Dance Studios and Rocket Ships

Summary:

Buck tries to get Olive settled into a routine whilst also easing her into the 118 family. But, when a stomach flu hits, he’s faced with people he doesn’t want to see

Notes:

TW for details of puking incase anyone has emetophobia (like me)

Chapter Text

Evan Buckley never thought he’d be dad let alone a dad of a little girl who is obsessed with dancing. It’s a week after their zoo trip, and Buck— with the help of Eddie— had managed to find Olive a little dance studio to attend twice a week. It’s her ballet taster session, and he helps her carry her bags in as she clings to Eve for support. Her therapist had been very keen to approve this hobby, saying she needed something familiar, and something to keep her occupied. Especially because this was also the first week where Buck was going to attempt to get her to slowly meet his family.

 

He’s somewhat managed to do two braids in Olive’s hair, but they’re wonky yet again which had made him audibly sigh, but she doesn’t really seem to mind all that much. She places her bag and Eve in a little cubby before she puts on her ballet slippers, passing Buck her trainers. He gives her her water bottle and then she gives him a quick hug before she rushes into the studio; allowing Buck to sit and watch with the other parents. All of which he sees are moms. Moms who keep glancing at him. He locks eyes with one of them, a relatively tall blonde woman, who is stood instead of sat with her arms crossed sternly over her chest. He shoots her a smile. Instead, he gets a slight interrogation.

 

“Single dad?” She asks, he nods.” Our girls have been attending this studio for a year, where have you been?”

 

“My daughters only really just come into my custody because of an unfortunate circumstance and she didn’t live in LA previously.” He responds even if he doesn’t owe these women his life story. The blonde woman scoffs as she says,” absentee father.”

 

“Didn’t know she existed, actually, which is none of your business.” Buck responds, looking back over to the window that’s showing the girls flexing and un-flexing their toes.

 

“How can you not know your own child exists-

 

“Olivia, stop interrogating the poor man, he doesn’t owe you a thing.” A slightly younger mom says from where she’s sat two people away from Buck. She smiles to him, her brown curls falling elegantly by her shoulders.

 

“No one asked for your input, Jess.” Olivia tells her, and Jess just shrugs as she gets up and moves to sit next to Buck. She nudges his shoulder gently and he smiles politely to her.

 

“I’m Jess.” She greets.

 

“Evan.” He tells her, shaking her hand.” But my friends call me Buck.”

 

“Ignore Olivia, she thinks she runs the school.” Jess tells him, earning a scowl from Olivia.” And she doesn’t like me very much because I’m the only one here with a son attending dance…that’s him there, Jude.”

 

“My little girl is just there, her name is Olive.” Buck points Olive out, who is sat quite close to Jude, the little boy chatting excitedly to her as they practice their dancing.

 

“She looks just like you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

The door swings open and in rushes another dad, panting slightly as his daughter rushes off into the studio still in her trainers. She runs back out and quickly changes her shoes before rushing back in to dance. The man lets out a sigh and then grimaces when he spots some of the mothers glaring at him.

 

“Didn’t mean to be late.” He announces.” Lottie is just here for her taster.”

 

“Mines here for the same.” Buck tells him with a welcoming smile as Jess says,” Buck and I were about to grab some coffee across the street if you wanted to join? There’s not much else for us to do for 45 minutes.”

 

“Sure.” The dad agrees with a smile, and the two men follow Jess out and across to the coffee shop— even if they hadn’t actually planned this out.

 

They each grab a drink and sit down at a nice corner table, getting to know one another. Jess is a single mother with two sons, Jude is her youngest and his brother Isaiah does soccer for two hours 20 minutes away. Buck learns that the late dad is called Jamie, and that he’s a stay at home dad to three children. Lottie wanted to take up dance, and the older two both do fun little clubs for school.

 

Buck tells the two a condensed version of how Olive appeared in his life, and by the end of it, the pair are in a stunned silence. Jess goes to welcome him to parenthood, and that sparks off a conversation about Christopher and how even if Chris wasn’t his own, Buck had been co-parenting with Eddie and helping to raise Chris for the past four years.

 

They wrap up their little coffee date, and the three head back over to the dance studio as class is wrapping up. Olive leaves the room and spots Buck right away, grinning happily and throwing herself in his arms. He picks her up and plants a gentle kiss to her birthmark and then helps her to put her sneakers back on. Buck carries her bag for her whilst she clutches Eve to her chest, and he, Jess and Jamie exchange numbers so they can arrange a play date at some point.

 

“I like dancing.” Olive tells Buck as he’s clipping her into her car seat.” I got to learn so so so so much today, it was fun!”

 

“I’m glad you had fun sweetheart.” Buck says with a smile as he closes her door before getting in the drivers side. He pulls out of the parking lot and Olive hums along happily to the music playing in the car.” Hey, guess what? We’re doing something fun tomorrow.”

 

“More dance?” Olive asks and Buck shakes his head.” Seeing Eddie and Chrish?”

 

“Nope, we’re seeing Athena tomorrow, and Bobby. They both took a day off of work to spend with you. How does that sound?” Buck asks and Olive sits quietly. He watches as she sits in thought, eye brows furrowed and lips pouted.

 

“I like ‘thena.” She replies quietly.” Don’t know Bobby.”

 

“Bobby’s really nice, and he’s really important to me, okay? We’ll be there only for the afternoon and we’ll have some dinner.” Buck explains and Olive sighs before she asks,” Bobby your daddy?”

 

“Yeah…yeah, he is.” Buck tells her and it’s not a lie. Bobby and Athena were practically his parents. He viewed them as such and they always treated him as a son, and it would mean the world if his daughter referred to them as her grandparents. It wasn’t like she was going to meet his biological parents anytime soon.

 

“Okay, I do it. For you because he’s your daddy and you’re my daddy and I love you.” Olive says and Buck smiles happily before he says,” thank you. I love you, too.”

 

______

 

When Buck and Olive enter the Grant-Nash house the next afternoon, she hides herself behind Buck’s legs, clinging to the fabric of his pants. He smiles awkwardly to Bobby and Athena as he holds onto Olive’s backpack, and they just smile excitedly back at him.

 

“Can you say hello to Bobby and Athena, Olive?” Buck asks, glancing behind him at his daughter, who is peeking her head out from behind his legs only slightly.

 

“Hello.” Olive mumbles shyly, looking over to Athena, who smiles to her softly. She smiles back and then moves out from behind her dad’s legs.” Your house?”

 

“Mine and Bobbys, yes. Would you like a tour?” Athena asks gently, and Olive looks up to Buck, who just grins to her. Then, she looks back to Athena and nods.

 

Athena extends a hand and Olive cautiously walks over to her before taking it. She glances one last time over to Buck, who nods reassuringly, and then she follows Athena around for the house tour. Bobby helps Buck with their things, and then the two head to the kitchen; where he’s already preparing dinner.

 

“For a Buckley, she’s surprisingly quiet.” Bobby says as Buck hands him the salt.

 

“Oh once she’s comfortable around you the Buckley chatterbox gene will start to show, don’t worry.” Buck tells him with a fond smile.” She chewed Eddie’s ear off the other day about ‘meetats’. That’s what she calls meerkats. We went to the zoo last week and she’s not stopped talking about it. It’s adorable.”

 

“Seems like you’re taking fatherhood well.” Bobby says and Buck shrugs, prompting him to ask,” you’re still having doubts?”

 

“I’m a ball of nerves, she’s a ball of nerves. She has about five tantrums a day, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. She’s the fussiest eater I know and she’s so stubborn, Bobby.” Buck sighs, rubbing a hand over his eyes.” I don’t know where I’m going wrong.”

 

“You’re not.” Bobby tells him as he continues preparing to cook. Buck raises an eyebrow.” Everything you listed is completely normal, I promise. Tantrums are part and parcel of her being three. And the fussy eating? I can help with that.”

 

“You can?” Buck asks.

 

“You let her help in the cooking process, I’ll try it with her tonight. It makes them excited to try the food because they’ve helped to make it.” Bobby explains and Buck can’t believe he hasn’t tried that before. They’ve made sandwiches together but he’s been too scared to allow her near the stove.

 

“Daddy, daddy they got a room for me!” Comes Olive’s voice as she comes rushing into the room with Athena following after her, wide smiles on both of their faces.

 

“They do?” Buck asks, looking to both Athena and Bobby in surprise as he picks Olive up.

 

“We had to make room for our granddaughter.” Athena replies with a smile, and Buck looks to Bobby in shock to find a similar smile reflecting on his own face.

 

“Hey, Olive, would you like to help me with dinner?” He asks and the three year old looks to Buck, who nods in approval. She grins and replies with,” yes please, grapa.”

 

Buck’s heart swells at that, and he passes Olive to Bobby with tear filled eyes. He watches them cook together for a little while, Bobby talking Olive through the steps and allowing her to stir things when they need to be, and then he and Athena head out to lay the table together.

 

“She’s an amazing little girl, Buck.” Athena says as they’re setting the forks down. Buck nods.” You’re doing a great job with her, and we will have her if you ever need a break. Because it’s normal to need a break as a parent.”

 

“I had no idea that you have a room set up for her…or that you view her as your grandchild.”

 

“You have to know we see you as one of our own, Buck. We’d do absolutely anything for you, the same as we do May and Harry.” Athena tells him and Buck smiles.” We love you, and we love that little girl as well.”

 

“Thank you.” Buck says, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat.” I love you guys too, and I do see you as parents. You’re better parents to me than my actual parents.”

 

“Do they know about Olive?” Athena asks as she walks around to hug him. He melts into her embrace before they separate and continue to set the table.

 

“No and I hope they never do, they don’t deserve her. As far as she knows, you and Bobby are her grandparents.” Buck responds and Athena smiles reassuringly at him.” Or graparents as she would say.”

 

“She’s adorable.” Athena chuckles, and Buck grins.

 

His heart warms once again when he hears Bobby making Olive laugh loudly in the kitchen. He glances over towards them to see her laughing her little head off and Bobby smiling before he scoops up some of the food onto a spoon and allows her to try it. She, surprisingly, complies and nods in approval. Bobby helps her down from the countertop as he starts dishing up their food, and Olive quickly rushes over to the table with a happy smile. Buck’s never seen her relax around other people so quickly, and he’s so grateful for Bobby and Athena in that moment.

 

“I maked the food daddy.” Olive says as she reaches the table and Buck grins as he says,” did you, really?”

 

“Yeah I maked food just like you!”

 

“That’s amazing, I can’t wait to try it. Shall we sit down, honey?” Buck asks and Olive nods happily, clambering onto the chair as Buck pulls it out from under the table.

 

Bobby brings the food to the table, and they say Grace before they eat, which confuses Olive a tiny bit; but they immediately all burst into conversation as they all start to eat. Olive sits up on her knees and offers Buck the food on the end of her fork even if he’s already tried the food, but he allows her to feed him, and he compliments her cooking; making her grin excitedly before she continues to eat her own food.

 

They have dessert, and play a board game before they head off home. Buck straps Olive into her car seat before he gets into the drivers seat. They wave goodbye to Bobby and Athena as they head home, and Olive tiredly looks out of the window with Eve in her arms.

 

“I like grama and grapa.” She says with a yawn and Buck smiles contently.” Their house is big house.”

 

“Yeah?” Buck asks and Olive nods.” They love you so much.”

 

“I love them too, and I love you, daddy.”

 

“I love you as well, sweetheart.” Buck says and he watches in the rear view mirror as she starts to fall asleep.

 

He carries her inside when they reach their apartment, her backpack over one shoulder, her head resting on his other. Her little snores take up the silence of the apartment when they cross the threshold, and her little heart beat thumps gently against his chest. He’s never known love like this before, and he’s so grateful he gets to experience it.

 

_______

 

“Oh sweetheart, your daddy cannot do your hair.” Maddie says as they enter the Buckley-Han household two days later. They managed to find a day where both Maddie and Chimney were off so Olive and Jee-Yun could have a play date.

 

“Wow, thanks.” Buck says sarcastically as he places Olive’s bag down. Olive chuckles before she shyly looks back over to Maddie, who asks,” would you like me to redo it for you, baby?”

 

“Yes please auntie Maddie.” She whispers, and she takes Maddie’s hand as she follows her into the living room; Buck following.

 

“You’ve got such beautiful hair, Olive.” Maddie tells her as she grabs her hair brush. Olive grins.” Must be from your mommy, your daddy’s hair is just a curly curly mess!”

 

“Mommy didn’t have curly hair, my hair is like daddy’s.” Olive tells her as Maddie sits down behind her and begins to undo the wonky braids Buck did that morning.

 

“Uncle Buck!” Jee cheers, and Buck cheers back as he lifts her up, kissing her cheek gently before he sits down with her to play with her dolls.

 

“How would you like your hair today?” Maddie quizzes her niece, who sits in thought for a moment before she responds with,” two little buns like bunny ears.”

 

“I can do that for you.” Maddie responds happily.

 

As Maddie does Olive’s hair, Buck gets to be Uncle Buck for a little while. He and Jee play a fascinating game with her dolls, and the two laugh together. She babbles incoherently, as she’s not even one yet; and Buck babbles back— making her squeal with laughter. It tugs at his heart a little, as he remembers he didn’t get this with Olive. He didn’t get first steps or first words; he didn’t get late nights with colic, or poo explosions, or even getting to hold her for the first time in the hospital. He forces the emotions down, and smiles to Jee as she pokes his nose to grab his attention, and then he glances to his daughter, who laughs loudly at something Maddie is saying.   

 

“It’s my favourite Buckley!” Chimney cheers as he walks into the living room just as Maddie is finishing Olives hair. The three year old glances warily to her dad, who says,” it’s uncle Chimney, he helped with our move to the new apartment. Auntie Maddie’s fiancé, Jee’s daddy.”

 

“We baked some cookies if you’d like some, Olive?” Chimney asks her, and she looks to her dad yet again before she cautiously goes towards Chimney; who’s knelt down to her level holding out a plate of cookies.

 

“Thank you.” Olive says as she takes a cookie off of the plate, and then she rushes back over to Maddie and sits down beside her.

 

“Can you believe our girls share a birth month? Literally a few weeks apart.” Maddie says as she breaks up the cookie for Olive so it’s a little smaller.

 

“We could do a joint party?” Buck suggests and Maddie smiles.” I hope they grow up being best friends.”

 

“They will do.” Maddie says, smiling when Buck places Jee-Yun onto his lap. She giggles and plays with the strings of his hoodie.” Hey, have you spoken to mom and dad?”

 

“Nope.” Buck responds.

 

“Well, if the girls have a joint birthday party, they’ll find out about Olive eventually, Evan. I want them to be part of Jee’s life.” Maddie explains and Buck shrugs as he responds with,” and you’re entitled to that choice, I—however—don’t want them near my daughter. She has grandparents in Bobby and Athena.”

 

“They have a right to know she exists-

 

“Maddie, can we not talk about this now?” Buck asks as Olive starts to get very confused. She raises her eyebrow, and then glances to her dad, who just shakes his head. She shrugs and continues to eat her cookie.

 

“So, how’s non firefighter life treating you, Buck?” Chimney asks as he sits down the other side of Maddie on the couch.  She sighs and leans her head against his shoulder.

 

“It’s busy, that’s for sure. I go back in a month, though, so I gotta start looking at daycares for Olive. I know you said you’d take her some days, Maddie, but I wanna get her into a tight routine.” Buck explains, and Maddie nods. She’s pissed at him, which he can understand, but he just ignores it.” Eddie’s helping me look for places, and Carla has said she can look after both Chris and Olive when we have 24 hour shifts. Bobby’s said I’m going to only have 12 hours for my first few weeks back so we can adjust, and then it’s back to the usual.”

 

“That’s fair.” Chimney says.” And are you both still in therapy?”

 

“Yeah, Olives started going once a week now, she’s really progressed. Dance is helping, too…I’m going twice a week. I’m just a nervous wreck.” Buck admits, smiling at Olive as she clambers off the couch and toddles over to him.

 

“I want to play with you now, no Jee.” She mumbles, poking Jee’s shoulder.

 

“Let’s not poke her, Olive. And Jee can play with us as well, we can all play together.” Buck says, which earns a whiny,” my daddy no Jee’s daddy!”

 

“I’m her uncle, though, sweetheart and I enjoy playing dolls with her as well. You can share me.” Buck tells her, which earns yet another whine. Jee-Yun glances to Olive before looking to Buck and hugging him.

 

“No! My daddy!” Olive snaps out, which prompts Buck to scold her with a,” don’t raise your voice, young lady. Are you tired? You get whiny when you’re tired!”

 

“No sleep.”

 

She eventually falls asleep in Buck’s arms as he paces around the Buckley-Han living room. Jee occupies herself by playing with Chimney, whilst Maddie keeps a close eye on her brother. Buck manages to get Olive off to sleep and then he settles on the couch beside Maddie; Olive sitting on his lap, chest to chest, with her head on his shoulder. He rubs her back gently and lets out a little sigh.

 

“Jee is due for her nap soon, anyway.” Maddie tells him, and Buck just nods.” You’re doing a good job, Buck.”

 

“I’ve missed out on so much, Mads.” Buck admits quietly so as not to wake Olive up.” Even the gross things from having a newborn baby. Like the colic and the poo explosions and the 3am feeds. I didn’t see her first steps, I didn’t hear her first words, I didn’t know she existed. Why wouldn’t her mom tell me? It’s not fair.”

 

“We can’t change the past, Buck.” Maddie says, rubbing his arm gently. Logically, he knows she’s right, but he doesn’t like to think logically sometimes.” It’s scary, I know it is. I struggled when I had Jee. Post partum depression is no joke, but I managed to get help with the support of Chim…and you. I wanted to flee, I really did. I thought you all deserved better, especially Jee-Yun, and I nearly left. But I couldn’t do it in the end.  It can last for years, and Alicia couldn’t cope anymore; and it sucks that you didn’t know about Olive right away, but you’ve got her now and she needs you. She loves you, Evan.”

 

Buck nods before he presses a gentle kiss to the side of Olive’s head. She was still getting bad dreams every now and then, so they’re both lacking sleep, and it’s comforting to be sat with the people he cares most in this world. Eventually, Chimney takes Jee off to her room so she can be put down for a nap, and the three adults just talk for a while— about non kid related things. Chimney speaks a lot about work, and Buck feels a longing ache in his chest. He’s desperate to get back to work, even if Olive is keeping him busy. He misses his whole family.

 

When Olive wakes up, she apologises to Buck for snapping at Jee immediately, and then she apologises to Maddie and Chimney as well for snapping at Jee. They all forgive her, and she happily takes another cookie from Chimney, giggling as he tickles her before helping her off of the couch so they can draw together. Buck and Maddie watch with huge content smiles on their faces until Jee wakes up from her nap, as well. Maddie brings her back into the living room, and Olive apologises for being mean to her right away before she offers her a doll to play with.

 

Buck sits happily as his niece and his daughter play together, and he smiles a small smile when he feels Maddie press a kiss against his birthmark. Chimney plays with both girls enthusiastically, making them both giggle loudly, and it’s a noise Buck could never tire of hearing.

 

_______

 

Whilst they were moving, there was only really one other person Olive took too slightly; and that was Karen. That’s why Buck isn’t too worried about Olive officially meeting The Wilson’s as they head over for a play date a few days later. It’s after one of Buck’s therapy sessions, and he’s feeling incredibly vulnerable and wiped out, but he wasn’t going to pass up on an opportunity to see Hen. He missed her a lot, and he could do with one of her hugs; and possibly a margarita.

 

It’s Denny who opens the door, with Hen in close proximity. They all greet one another happily, with Olive standing quietly, holding onto Bucks hand. He’s happy she isn’t hiding behind him like she has been, and she smiles slightly as Karen joins them in the entryway to their house. The two take off their shoes as Hen closes the door, and then they all head to the living room— where some snack plates have been set up for the kids.

 

“I’m Denny.” Denny greets Olive, who once again, looks up to Buck. He smiles reassuringly at her and then she looks to Denny and greets him with,” I’m Olive.”

 

“Would you like to watch a movie with me, Olive? You can choose.” Denny asks and Olive smiles shyly before she nods; letting go of her dad’s hand and following the boy to where the snacks are set up.

 

Denny reads some of the movie descriptions to the little girl, and they eventually settle on Luca; something Olive hasn’t seen. The adults smile to one another before they sit on the couch, coffees in hand. Part of Buck wishes it were alcohol, but he hasn’t really had anything to drink the whole time Olive has been in his life. He wanted to set a good example to her and being drunk wouldn’t give off a good impression.

 

“He’s a natural with her.” Buck compliments as they watch the two. Olive is laughing as Denny tries to throw some grapes in the air and catch them with his mouth. She attempts it, giggling harder when she fails, but she’s very determined; a frown of concentration set on her face that makes Buck’s heart warm.

 

“He misses Nia.” Hen admits sadly.” And he was so excited when he found out you had a little girl, he’s been asking if he can meet her for weeks. Chris doesn’t stop talking about her and so Denny’s been anxiously waiting for his turn to meet the famous Olive Buckley.”

 

“They seem to be getting on great.” Buck beams as Olive eventually gets bored of their catching game, taking to just eating the grapes and watching the movie.

 

As the three adults make idle conversation; mostly gushing over their children, the two children in question sit happily and watch their movie, discussing it together as they do so before suddenly, Buck feels Olive nudge his arm. He looks beside him and she’s pointing at the screen where the two boys in the movie are hugging tearfully by a train.

 

“Me and Denny thinked they love eachother, like you and Eddie.” Olive tells him, making him choke on the mouthful of coffee he’d just taken. He coughs slightly and looks to Karen and Hen, who are badly concealing their amusement. Traitors, he thinks.

 

“Really?” Buck asks and Olive nods, fiddling with the strap of Buck’s watch on his arm as she responds with,” yes because they the bestest friends like you and Eddie and and and Alberto gets jealousy like you do when you ask if Eddie has been on dates and that’s because you love Eddie.”

 

“Smart kid.” Buck says and he pointedly ignores Hen’s “she’s got you figured out” as he continues with,” hey, did you know Karen works with NASA?”

 

“What’s that?” Olive asks, very intrigued as she clambers into Bucks lap— the credits of the movie playing in the background, a jovial Italian song. Denny begins to clean up their snack plates.

 

“Well NASA, in three year old terms, are all of the astronauts. I’m not an astronaut, I’m a scientist but I work for the company so I get to help the astronauts.” Karen explains, and Olive stares at her in awe.

 

That sparks off a conversation about planets and stars, and when they’re on their way back home, Olive convinces Buck to let her have the glow in the dark stars in the shapes of the constellations on her bedroom ceiling. They leave with posters of planets, books about the stars, and some rocket ship toys. The whole time, the three year old rambles about Karen and how cool her job is, and about how kind Hen is, and about how she can’t wait to play with Denny again. Buck smiles— filling these days as a success. Olive grins widely as she holds onto a rocket ship toy, and Buck gets the feeling that they’ll be changing the theme of her room soon.

 

______

 

“I can’t believe this is how you’re spending your day off.” Buck chuckles, sipping on his coffee as he watches Olive in her ballet lesson.

 

“Chris is at school and there’s no one else I’d rather spend my day with.” Eddie tells him, grinning as Olive enthusiastically demonstrates her pliés. Buck flushes slightly as he takes another sip of his coffee. It’s been a week since he and Olive saw Karen and Hen, and they’d had a somewhat rough night the night before. Olive just could not get settled and so Buck’s exhausted.

 

“Who’s your friend, Buckley?” Jamie asks as he and Jess approach, also with coffees in their hands. Eddie smiles to them as Buck says,” this is Eddie Diaz. Eddie, these is Jess; her son is little Jude— who is dancing with Olive. And this is Jamie, whose daughter is Lottie and is laughing with Jude and Olive right now.”

 

“Eddie.” Jess regards, raising a brow to Buck, who instantly flushes again.” As in—

 

“Christopher’s dad, yes.”

 

“You talk about me to your dance mom friends?” Eddie asks, making both Jamie and Jess laugh loudly. Buck rolls his eyes playfully as he states,” you call us dance moms?”

 

“Yeah like that reality show.” Eddie chuckles.

 

Immediately, the four take off to their own corner of the waiting area so not to piss off her lordship, and Jess and Jamie are on Eddie in an instant, hounding him with questions that Eddie answers with a lot of laughs and a few awkward pauses as he tries to fathom what he wants to say. Buck stands quietly and listens, watching Olive dance through the doorway. She isn’t as enthusiastic as she usually is, and he’s hoping she isn’t getting bored because she seemed to really enjoy dance; and he wanted her to have an activity to do outside of the house so that she can socialise with kids her age. He only has a month and a half before he’s due back at work, and he wants to get Olive settled somewhat into a routine which includes her dance lessons. He hopes she doesn’t give them up.

 

Once the lesson is over, Eddie collects Olive’s things for her, and helps her to put on her shoes. She’s oddly quiet as he does so, and once her shoes are on— she asks for him to pick her up, which he does almost immediately. He carries her to the car whilst Buck carries her bags, and Eddie straps her into her car seat whilst explaining that they’re going to get Chris, and Olive nods with a yawn.

 

“Does she seem alright to you?” Buck asks once they’re driving to Durand; Olive wiped out completely in the back. Eddie looks at her in the rear view mirror as he responds with,” you had a bad night with her sleep, right? She’s probably just as exhausted as you are.”

 

“I hope so. I don’t know, something just feels off.”

 

And Buck’s right, because the next morning, he’s woken up bright and early at four to Olive screaming for him from her room. He comes rushing in, still half asleep and only dressed in a tshirt and underpants, to find her bed sheets, her pyjamas and her mouth covered in sick. His brain short circuits for a moment until slight panic kicks in, and all logic is thrown out of the window as he runs back to his room and grabs his phone; putting it on speaker as he frantically runs back to Olive— who is sobbing.

 

“Buck, it’s four in the morning, I got work in three hours what the fuck is going on?” Comes Eddie’s disgruntled voice, tinny and slightly irritated, from the other end of the phone.

 

“Olive threw up I don’t know what to do.” Buck manages to push out, and something shifts on the other end of the line— he’s guessing Eddie’s sat up.

 

“Want me to come over?”

 

“No no, it’s okay I can handle it I—I just don’t know what to do.” Buck breathes out, Olive’s cries becoming painful. She’s absolutely covered in the chunky brown liquid, and Buck gags slightly at the sight and the smell. He’s not eating rice again anytime soon, that’s for sure.

 

“Is it a lot?” Eddie asks, sounding like he’s suppressing a yawn. Buck assesses the picture infront of him. Almost the whole bed is covered, and the entire front of Olive’s pyjama top is also covered in it.

 

“I think it was projectile.” Buck breathes out in response, and Eddie sounds a little more awake as he says,” right, okay, so what you need to do is get that little girl out of that bed and out of those sweat soaked clothes okay?”

 

Immediately, Buck springs into action, his first responder instincts kicking in. He puts his phone down on the bed side table and pulls back the comforter, helping Olive out of her bed. She whimpers slightly and then Buck grabs a fresh pair of pyjamas.

 

“If you’re grabbing fresh pyjamas, that’s not wise.” Eddie tells him, and before he can even question why, the other man is continuing with,” just let her sleep in her underwear. She’s got a stomach bug, she’s gonna puke again. You’ll go through all of her pyjamas if you keep changing her. Plus, she’s probably boiling hot, sleeping in her underwear will cool her down. Trust me.”

 

“She’s shaking like a leaf.” Buck informs him as he begins to help Olive out of her pyjamas. She just cries loudly as he does so.” Ssssh, sssh princess, it’s okay. I’m here, it’s okay.”

 

“That’ll be the fever.”

 

“Fuck, right, okay. Pyjamas are off what do I do now?” Buck asks as he abandons her like covered pyjamas on the floor.

 

“Run her a bath, and then strip her bed sheets.” Eddie instructs, sounding like he’s suppressing yet another yawn.

 

Buck does as instructed, and he gives Olive a bath— Eddie staying on the phone with him the entire time, even when the two are tucked up into Buck’s bed with a bowl by the side of it for when Olive inevitably throws up again. It’s half five in the morning by that point, and Eddie’s clearly getting himself ready for work, and Buck is so grateful to him because he knows that Eddie’s probably going to be exhausted at work.

 

“I’m on a twelve hour today, alright? I’ll come over after my shift to check on you.” Eddie says softly once Olive has drifted back off to sleep.

 

“Thank you.” Buck whispers, eyes droopy and heart fluttering— an ache of want in his chest, longing for Eddie.” You didn’t have to stay awake this whole time.”

 

“You called, I wasn’t gonna leave you stranded. Especially when that sweet girl is in so much pain.” Eddie says and Buck swallows down the lump in his throat. He loves this man so much that sometimes it overwhelms him. His love is all consuming.” Evan, get some sleep whilst you can, alright? I’ll see you later.”

 

“You called me Evan…again.” Buck whispers and he can almost picture the flush on Eddie’s face, running down his neck. He always says it shyly, like he isn’t sure if Buck will accept him calling him that. He’s called him Evan exactly once. Back when he was being discharged from the hospital after being shot. When he was informing Buck of his will, about how Buck would be Chris’ legal guardian if anything were to happen to Eddie. He called him Evan the day before he broke up with Ana for reasons still not discussed. It fills Buck with an odd sense of hope, whenever Eddie calls him by his birth name.

 

“I’ll stop if you want me to.”

 

“Never stop, please. I love it when you call me Evan.” Buck tells him, and it’s the truth. There’s only a certain amount of people he doesn’t mind calling him by his actual name, and Eddie is definitely one of them. He likes the way it falls off of Eddie tongue, like he’s saying a prayer, his slight southern twang coming out to say hello. It’s like music to Buck’s ears.

 

“Get some sleep.” Eddie says, and he hangs up with a quick goodnight.

 

He isn’t asleep for long, he can tell it’s not for long, it could be twenty minutes later, or thirty, but either way he’s being woken up by a crying Olive. He holds the bowl for her while she throws up, grateful that they’d put her hair up into a bun after her shower because he only has so many hands. He rubs her back soothingly, his hand bigger than her tiny little back that is wracked with tremors as her stomach cramps. He wipes her mouth for her, helps her sip on some water, and she’s back to sleep in an instant— allowing him to go and clean and empty the bowl.

 

This routine goes on for the next four hours until Olive decides that she wants to watch cartoons. Buck carries her to the living room, placing her down onto the couch before grabbing her a blanket and her vomit bowl. He tucks her in, places the bowl by the side of the couch and curls himself up on the loveseat with the TV remote in hand. He is bone tired. He hasn’t known tiredness like this and he’s a firefighter. Every bone in his being is screaming at him to sleep, but he can’t, because his daughter is sick and he needs to take care of her.

 

Olive falls asleep five minutes into SpongeBob, leaving Buck to just stare at the screen and not take anything in. Just as he’s about to drift off again, Olive wakes up and calls for him— so he heads to her and helps her through her puking yet again. As he’s washing out the bowl for the fifteenth time that morning, he gets a message.

 

Jess

Anyone else’s kid down with stomach flu? Jude has not stopped throwing up since like three this morning

 

Jamie

Lottie’s the same, maybe a kid had it at the dance studio?

 

You

Olive’s wiped out with it as well, which is a fun learning experience for me I haven’t dealt with her being ill yet. But a kid deffo had it at the studio

 

Jess

Olivia’s sweet precious little demon spawn looked more pale than usual

 

Jamie

Ofc it would be her sprog

 

“Daddy.” Comes a quiet voice from the couch as Buck places the bowl back down beside it. He looks to his daughter, who is so pale she could be a ghost. She’s sweating profusely, and the hair that has managed to come loose from her bun is sticking to her forehead. She looks extremely flushed, and Buck’s heart aches. He never wants to see her like this again this is horrific.

 

“You okay?” Buck asks, helping her to sip some of her water from her new space themed water bottle.

 

“I hurt.” She tells him and Buck feels himself welling up with tears. This is awful. This is something he never wants to experience ever again even though he knows he inevitably will. He presses a soft kiss to her burning forehead and then stands up as he announces,” let me give you some medicine, that should help with the pain, okay?”

 

“Yucky medicine!” Olive whines as Buck heads over with the child Tylenol in his hand. He kneels down beside her yet again and tries to get her to take some, but she stubbornly shakes her head.

 

“Sometimes, yucky things make us feel better. Why don’t we try?” Buck tries to reason, but Olive just shakes her head again even if it hurts her to do so. Buck sighs and then says,” look, daddy will take some too, okay? So you don’t have to do it alone.”

 

That seems to work, and Buck swallows down the medicine that regurgitates memories of climbing trees and falling out of them, hurting himself just to get attention and strangled love from his parents. Once Olive is fast asleep again, he drinks some water to rid of the taste, and then decides to make himself some breakfast. Because he’s so tired, he doesn’t have a huge appetite, but he manages to eat a breakfast burrito and drink some coffee before he heads back to the loveseat.

 

The medicine seems to allow Olive to sleep for a few hours, and so Buck allows himself to sleep for those few hours as well. When he wakes up, neck stiff from sleeping awkwardly on the love seat, he’s got a message from Eddie; and he smiles as he opens it up.

 

Eds

Boring day here today, think we’re having a q word day. We all miss you, especially on days like these. Gonna see if Bobby will let me off early to come take care of you and Olive— I won’t be able to stay for long because Carla has Chris and I also don’t want to pass on a stomach flu to Christopher. But I want to make sure you’re both doing okay. I’ll see you in a few hours

 

You

I miss you guys too, don’t be too bored without me. And you don’t have to come over, Eddie. I think I’m handling it well on my own.

 

Eds

I’m coming over Buck you can’t stop me. You deserve at least an hours rest, you shouldn’t have to do this alone. I’ll see you later

 

You

Thank you

 

As it gets closer to the evening, Buck makes some soup, which he tries to get Olive to eat but she doesn’t; whining that her tummy hurts too much. She’s vomiting less now, and he’s hoping her fever will break, but her appetite just isn’t there so he ends up eating a huge bowl of soup to himself as the two watch Bluey together. Buck has never watched an episode of Bluey in his life but Jude had told Olive about it, and so now here he is watching it. He’s invested, he’ll admit that, he wishes he’d had Bluey to watch when he was a kid.

 

As he’s doing the washing up, there’s a knock at his door that causes Olive to whine slightly as she has a headache. If it’s Eddie, Buck’s confused as to why he’s knocking, because he has a key but he makes his way over to the door anyway.

 

“Did you forget your key?” He asks as he opens the door up, his heart racing in panic when he’s met with the two people he really didn’t want to see.

 

“Hello, Evan.” His dad greets, one hand gently placed on his wife’s shoulder. Buck swallows his panic down and glances over his shoulder at Olive; who’s happily watching her show. Then he looks back at his parents.