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Sex was nothing to Aventurine.
But it was a nightmare to someone named Kakavasha.
Try as he might to deny it, Aventurine was plagued by the events of his life as Kakavasha. Like broken tapes, he saw the faces of the men and women who had sought to taste the sweet 'honey' of an Avgin. The rumors tested on his skin.
He remembered breaking the neck of another slave that had once laid on top of him for the entertainment of his 'master,' rutting into him like a dog more than a man. He remembered how their fingers clawed at the chain wrapped around their neck in the same way he'd tried the ground trying to crawl away. The way he'd broken his nails and sobbed was like looking in a mirror.
He remembered begging them to stop. The same exact way.
He granted them the same amount of mercy.
Aventurine remembered the first time he'd heard the phrase of having 'innocence taken' and understanding exactly what it meant. What it felt like.
Although innocence, to him, had many meanings- all of them stolen away, and so difficult to reimburse.
Yet he couldn't remember the first time it had happened, only the emotions associated with confusion and shame when he'd woken up sore and violated. The times he did remember were the stuff that haunted grown men in waking hours.
He could still feel the burn in his guts. The vile crawl through his body and the nausea that followed the feeling of wetness between his legs as he was finally granted permission to be human again- denied even the basic courtesy of concern as someone else strutted away as if they'd done something worthy of praise by ruining him. He was left to stumble away and lick his wounds, mind empty of anything but the question of why. His recovery was sheer force of will every time, and every time he felt equally more afraid and enraged. Then he snapped. Once the violence ended and his smile faded- all that was left was fear of the simple rooms of a single bed and the hands that touched him in interest or curiosity.
Trauma, they called it.
He was traumatized, he was told.
Aventurine was glad to leave Kakavasha behind- as if the separation of their fates was somehow plausible.
As if to prove it to himself, he got good at what frightened him. With mastery came confidence, and he made himself a very confident man in the subject of the very thing that used to make him cry himself to sleep.
Sex was a useful tool, and his body was a honed edge. He learned how to use it, and he used it well. With his expert precision, he could sometimes get what he wanted without removing a single article. Other times, when things were more or less lucky, he made sure someone else felt as if they were- taking what he wanted straight from the source before seeing the debt owed paid in blood or cash— whichever came easier.
So when Aventurine first heard of Veritas Ratio, his assigned consultant from the Intelligentsia Guild, he thought it was rather fitting he was given someone difficult to work with. He'd heard the name. He knew the risks. The gamble was intriguing.
He thought it would be easy to tame a scholar, no matter how bitchy. A man of higher intelligence would be just as foolish as any other in matters of flesh. He'd seen it all before. It was nothing novel.
"What is your name, Avgin?"
"Aventurine."
"I asked for your name, not your title."
He smirked, lifting his eyes over the edge of his glasses to the stone head that hid Veritas' rumored attractive visage. "I'll let you call me whatever you like, for a price, Doctor."
"And what value would your name have if you aren't even willing to say it?"
Aventurine almost immediately liked Veritas, lips curled in a grin at the blatant hostility. "Are you willing to find out?"
It took two weeks to see Veritas with his mask off.
It took another three days to finally crack the rest of the statue and reveal a normal man underneath.
There was no surprise when the scholar responded to his suggestions. There was even less surprise when there were conditions. He was given... Rules. Specific instructions, really.
There was a time, place, and order to the affair. He'd admit it was a bit weird to him— too many times taken to a cheap motel and taken forcefully until someone other than him found satisfaction. It was in those dimly lit seedy places he found his worth calculable. By the hour, he had notable value.
Arriving at Veritas Ratio's selected hotel room was different, however. It was clean, well lit, and he was asked to remove his shoes upon entering. Then, per instructions, he was to take his coat off and see himself immediately to the showers. A towel would be provided before he could proceed to the bed.
He was surprised to see no instructions about prep, though didn't expect them. Perhaps the Doctor was just one of those types— thriving in seeing their partner squirm from the burn.
Shaking his hair from his eyes, Aventurine found the white towel softer than he expected. Freshly laundered and mildly scented. Pleasant.
Looking up, he saw a rubber duck sitting by the sink.
Stepping out, towel around his waist, he found Ratio waiting for him. The same, usual scowl on their face.
"Come sit," were the new instructions, a hand gesturing to the bedroom.
"Alright," Aventurine mused, doing as he was asked without much complaint.
Before he could even get used to it, there was another instruction. "Lay down."
He blinked. Was this how it was going to be? Automatically, he rolled over on his hip and folded his arms under his chin as he exposed his back to the scholar. It was a little risky, but he'd had little concern of the renowned Dr. Ratio trying to kill him, at least.
There was a slight sound of disapproval from the other.
For a moment, nothing happened. Weight settled into the bed beside him and he noted the Doctor hadn't taken anything off.
"May I touch you?"
What a weird question. "Sure, knock yourself out."
There was a pause. The sound of a cap. Lube probably. At least the man had some sense of decency.
Aventurine flinched when a hand pressed into his back, a warm palm spreading over his skin with a smooth glide. A perfume filled the air as fingers kneaded into his shoulders, as if trying to make out each muscle individually. Not lubricant- he noted. It was oil of some sort.
"Relax," the doctor told him.
He tried as he felt a thumb trace a specific pattern across his back, detailing the scar to discern how deep the wound must have been. The blond tried not to think about it as Ratio clearly did, puzzling out the history behind the brand on his neck. The next scar was given equal attention, each crisscrossed pattern over his shoulders identified and examined as broad fingers massaged out the tension beneath them.
Ratio's expression didn't change the entire time, dutifully studying him and his reactions like a small animal.
As confident as he was, the doctor was hitting some sort of button. Anxiety fluttered in his chest and made his guts churn, though he could scarcely place why.
"Okay, I think that's enough," he tried to chuckle, pushing himself up and turning onto his hip to slip out of their touch. "How about we skip to the good part?"
The color of Ratio's eyes was something difficult for Aventurine to describe. An rich red with golden rim around the pupil, they almost appeared royal- crowning the intense gaze within the very design. Yet as much of an enigma the color was, the emotion in them was even more confusing.
"Patience. Let me do my work."
He didn't quite understand that last part, but didn't complain. Maybe Ratio was just one of the weird ones.
A hand traveled his spine and he almost arched like a cat to chase it.
Ratio's touch moved smooth and slow, applying a little more oil to aid the friction. His inner thighs were explored, his hips, his calves. Finally the towel fell away, and the warmth of their palms found the supple skin beneath his ass.
Aventurine tried not to shudder as he felt the cool air against him, licking his lips as he thought of the rewards for his efforts. He debated all the different ways he could make the scholar squirm once this was over. He had no doubt in his capacity, and he knew that the fussy professor Ratio would be just as smitten as any other fool that had taken him before.
He wasn't sure when it happened, but he found himself actually enjoying the feeling of being handled as it continued. Ratio's hands explored him, firm but gentle. Aventurine felt rather small under them, almost embarrassed as he was guided into turning over and revealing himself more completely. He was guided to their lap, his shoulders gently resting against their chest.
Finally able to see the man's expression better, he noted the scholar had the same contemplative look as when studying a problem.
"Does your species have any notable erogenous zones, gambler?" They asked,
"Any what?" He blinked in confusion.
A mild sigh of frustration, "Are there areas you prefer to be touched?"
Aventurine didn't really understand the question. The words themselves made sense, but the intent was something he didn't quite grasp. "Not that I know of."
He wasn't sure why the man frowned. "I see."
"Is something wrong?" He asked, half chuckling.
"I'm just taking note," they said simply.
"Of what?"
"Things I will need to find."
He didn't get the chance to ask- the same broad hands sliding up his sides and making him gasp softly. The way Veritas held his ribs as they leaned over him was something... Almost precious. Aventurine found it difficult to breathe under the light touch, especially as the good doctor continued their weird foreplay.
A nose bumped his cheek and he wasn't sure what to do but made himself ready just in case they decided to kiss. Ratio's lips dusted his skin, tender and sweet. "Relax. I'll make sure you enjoy this."
"What are you-"
Fingers sank into the meat or his neck, a thumb pressed to a knot that made him squeak in equal amounts of pleasure and pain. The note dwindled out, dying on his tongue as he gasped.
"One."
Aventurine wasn't sure if calling Ratio selfish was the right word for what happened next. He wasn't even entirely certain what had happened to him as the doctor's hands found every nook and cranny of his person. Each muscle, like before, was found and explored but more intimately- carefully prodded until every spot on him that could produce pleasure did. All the while, they counted. Studied.
In some ways he felt oddly precarious- like he was being handled too delicately. In others, like an exotic toy that was being discovered for the first time. He couldn't figure out if it was sweet or humiliating.
Veritas Ratio's gaze was heavy and inquisitive, watching him struggle to breathe as he was hopelessly turned on by efficient fingers and left pliant. His cheeks dusted pink in embarrassment as his erection throbbed, letting his head fall back against the doctor's collarbone as he wet his lips. As Ratio stroked the soft fat of his belly, his thighs twitched in automatic response.
"Good," they said in a deeper, more dulcet tone. "That makes five."
Pleasure bolted up his spine as each digit massaged into his flesh, his knees tucking together as he tried to make sense out of the sensual way Ratio worked over body. Tension was eased out of the muscle with diligence, every digit applying the right amount of pressure to exactly the right points. His mind was uncharacteristically clouded, confused and surprised as he rode the escalating high of getting closer, grasping onto a flexing bicep to anchor himself.
He came without meaning to, untouched. The orgasm was intense enough to catch him by surprise, left panting on the man's lap and feeling oddly loose limbed as his senses turned to white static.
Lips brushed against his brow as he tried to remember how to breathe, eyes becoming heavy by the second.
When was the last time he'd felt this... Good? He wondered if maybe the massage oil was some sort of SoulGlad as he came down from the high smoothly. A tender hand rested across his stomach, thumb gently brushing his skin as he was held steady against the scholar's chest.
It was strange.
Tucked in the thick biceps, Aventurine would normally feel nothing but dread or a foreboding sense of emptiness. Even after mind blowing sex, he just felt vacant. Yet in the arms of Veritas Ratio, the post-coital haze didn't feel like he was wearing the right name or face. He was smaller, weaker, and vulnerable. Maybe it was the smooth pattern of a heartbeat near his ear, but he couldn't help but feel comforted.
Letting his eyes fall shut was a mistake. Each blink was slower than the last, finally shuttering completely as he passed out.
When he woke, he realized he had been neatly tucked into bed at some point. He was clean. His clothes were freshly folded. Everything was ready for him and there was no Dr. Veritas Ratio to be found.
He was confused.
Did Ratio fuck him while he was asleep?
He had little indication of such a thing- even with as tidy as a person could be, it was difficult to hide such a thing. Focusing as best he could, he couldn't actively feel anything amiss about his body that would give a clue. Had they masturbated over him?
Again, he had no evidence.
It took several days to cross paths with the man again, busy with their respective positions and duties.
"Something on your mind, gambler?"
"Did we have sex?"
They blinked at him, a split second of shock crossing their expression at the blatancy. "No. You were tired, so I allowed you the rest."
Aventurine raised a brow in question. "Didn't you want to?"
"I'm not opposed to the idea, should the situation allow."
"Well then. Let's have a situation," he snorted. "My room or yours?"
"Mine."
"Do I need to follow the instructions again?"
Ratio fidgeted just a little. It was a small detail, but Aventurine noted it as their arms folded to hide the nuance of paying attention. "If you shower beforehand and strip when you arrive... I'll allow some leniency."
He had no issue with giving an immediate strip tease when he walked through the door. "Are you a germaphobe or something?"
"No, I just prefer to be clean and that all my dealings are equally as tidy."
The blond was pretty sure that was the definition of a germaphobe in the making at the very least, but didn't argue with it. "Sure Doc. What time?"
He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't a repeat of the same. Ratio kissed the side of his neck as he stepped past the unclean threshold, bare and vulnerable. A low sound escaped his throat as he let the Doctor take him over, tugging him close and into the sheets.
When the massage started, he knew what was happening this time. The warm hands circled his neck, cradling his skull in a way that made him feel delicate again, sinking into the flesh and working out the tension. He sighed, leaning back into the touches while trying to entice Ratio into seeking more.
Wriggling his hips back, he felt a familiar line of heat against the seam of his ass and grinned. "Don't you wanna do more than touch me, Doctor?"
A grunt came from the other, a little shift giving away the thought of claiming him once and for all. No response came, but the way they explored him was a bit different- more needy and clutching rather than holding.
As Ratio's hands slipped down the sides of his hips to a sweet spot, Aventurine gasped wantonly. He made no attempt to hide how nice it felt, the broad fingers framing his throbbing cock as he almost doubled over in the man's lap. A soft sensation brushed his shoulder and it took him a moment to realize Ratio had kissed it.
"R-Ratio-" he half purred, resisting the high as best he could.
"Relax," they told him, voice a deep tenor. "Let me have you."
"Touch me- oh fuck- Doctor-"
It was only when they had been specifically told that a hand found his cock. Their breath fanned his shoulders and he could actively feel the brush of their hair against the marred skin that lined his spine as the doctor sank lower, working him over like a fine tuned instrument. He came just like that- on his knees, staring at the sheets as soft affections dusted his scars.
Yet again, Veritas Ratio did not fuck him.
As he panted for air, he wondered if this was something about professors with degrees.
So he tried again, to no avail. It was the same situation on repeat and for a second he wondered if he’d breached the definition of insanity but had some sort of hope that he could make the man snap into carnal desire. Despite his efforts, the other seemed almost impervious to his taunting.
After the fourth attempt, Aventurine was just embarrassed by the fact. Waking up feeling refreshed, clean, and cared for was strangely addictive. This time, even a snack was prepared as if they'd read his mind that he was peckish.
Perhaps there was a reason...? Laughing to himself for being so pathetic, Aventurine tried to figure out why his seduction has both failed and succeeded. He could get the man in bed, but had yet to see when a single piece of that thin, provocative outfit came off. He could get Vertias to touch him, only to orgasm like an inexperienced teen.
Was it because of his filth?
Was he too dirty to fuck?
Was Dr. Ratio too good for that?
There was no point thinking about it. He knew the answer would likely only disappoint him, so he asked it directly to spare himself the anxiety. It would do him no good to make assumptions— he just needed to take the gamble that it wasn't what he thought it to be.
"Am I just entertainment to you?"
Ratio gave him an odd look, half closing the book in their hands.
"Why won't you have sex with me?"
"You were tired," they said simply.
"I know you're exhausting me on purpose, Doctor. I'm not as stupid as you think."
The crimson eyes blinked once, and the book closed completely with a slight sigh. Veritas turned to face him more properly, but stood a step away to respect the difference in their height and not loom over him.
"Am I just a filthy Sigonian that you can toy with like an exotic pet or something?"
"Is that what you think?" There was a slight huff in the words.
"I'm asking," he responded.
Veritas Ratio frowned, brows knitting. "No."
"Then what is the issue-?"
For a second, their expression changed. For only a second the poised doctor looked embarrassed or flustered. "I thought you would enjoy it."
Aventurine heard the words, but wasn't sure he understood them. "What do you mean?"
"Need I explain to you your own history?"
He stared at them in question, still not sure what the doctor was getting at.
"You show signs of a traumatic sexual experience. You bear scars of abuse. Rather than add to them, I aimed to give you a good experience instead. I did not think you would enjoy adding myself, so I didn't."
Aventurine's eyes widened as he had his secrets ripped out of him in a single response. Things he didn't want to admit were laid out between them, exposed and vulnerable. He didn't know what to say, completely lost in the situation.
"So this was... What? Some soft BDSM shit?" He half laughed, the words sounding oddly strange. "Or do you find it funny to treat me like I'm broken?"
Veritas' hair bounced as they shook their head. "You are misunderstanding."
The blond frowned and took a deep breath. It was gone in a second, smiling instead. "Oh? Then tell me your intentions, Doctor."
"That was all. You wanted my attention so I gave it in a way that I hoped would not exacerbate your trauma or self destructive tendencies."
Self destruction. Trauma. He had heard these words before many years ago in his early evaluations. Looking away, he almost snorted as he thought about a response.
"I do not want you to see one of your attackers in me."
That made him pause, turning sharply back to the man. "What?"
"I am quite aware why you approached me in the first place, Aventurine."
He stared into the cherry crimson of their eyes, taking in the difference between them again as he was reminded why he always thought they looked gilded.
"You aimed to see if I was just another like those before. If I would take from you when given a chance. I am not, and will not."
Once again, Aventurine just felt small. He kept his smile up, meeting the gaze of someone far stronger than him with reckless abandon. "And why not? Could be a once in a lifetime experience. You may never get to taste an Avgin again."
"A delicacy is only considered such because it is rare and coveted."
It took him a second but he huffed, "Are you calling me a slut?"
"If that is how you wish to see yourself."
Aventurine wasn't sure. The word didn't insult him in the honesty of the matter. He knew it to be true. Yet he couldn't figure out what Ratio's actual goal was in the situation. Why did his trauma matter? If Ratio only saw him as a slut- why not capitalize on that? Or was that the problem? Did the doctor see himself above such depravity?
"I do not expect you to understand," they said, interrupting his thoughts. "Your background would make it difficult for you to comprehend actual affection."
He wasn't sure if that was an insult. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Pay it no mind. You would not understand even if I explained it."
"So what, I'm too stupid now?"
"You have no concept of actual kindness to grasp the concept. It is foreign to you."
"And you call this affection? Embarrassing me, fucking with me, playing with me, and then saying I'm too stupid to understand it?"
Ratio frowned. "I apologize. That was not what I had in mind.”
Aventurine folded his arms across his chest, a bit bothered by the entire exchange. The entire ordeal was something strange and uncomfortable.
“If you allow me a chance to correct it, I will see it done.”
He lifted his eyes to that, not entirely trusting the words. He’d been led on by this enough. “Fine, but we do it by my rules this time.”
“Name them,” the doctor was oddly calm, mirroring his body language though more relaxed.
“My room, you come in- shoes off I guess- and you take your pants off. Get in bed and wait for me.”
“What time?”
“Three system hours from now,” he said simply, turning on his heel. “The door will be unlocked so let yourself in.”
Ratio seemed to think on something for a moment, maybe reorganizing their schedule. “Three system hours. Until then.”
And they walked away from him.
Aventurine stood there for a moment in a dazed confusion, not really sure what to think of this entire situation. He tried to make sense of the words said to him but came up blank, failing to reconcile the insult with the affection.
At some point he just felt irritated. It was only out of some misplaced stubborn pride to bed the doctor at this point- there was really nothing to be gained from it. His own desire to say he did it, like a challenge or conquest was the only reason that drove him to get ready for his final attempt to fuck Veritas Ratio.
Out of routine at this point, or maybe some form of courtesy, he showered. He tidied whatever items he actually claimed to own and made himself invisible right as the clock struck the hour. His room was a mirror image of theirs- laid out the same way with the same amenities but far less used. He often spent his nights out and about rather than here, so some more ‘lived in’ aspects were lacking in personality and accumulating dust instead.
He was unsurprised to hear the door open on the second. Ratio stepped in, sliding off their shoes before letting their pants follow. It took a decent amount of mental resistance not to peek, but he'd have plenty of time to ogle shortly.
Waiting until he heard the creak of a mattress, Aventurine stayed out of view for a solid minute before stepping out of the bathroom, freshly washed and clean in nothing but a set of emerald green, barely buttoned pajamas.
He had to take a moment to breathe when he finally got to see the sight of a beautiful man, carved from stone to resemble perfection resting casually on his sheets with one hand on a book. Everything about them was defined, even the subtle curve of each finger to cradle the spine so that it didn't fall.
The pages snapped as they came together and the burning, studying gaze turned to him instead. "Where would you like to begin this experiment of yours?"
Aventurine lifted a hand to gesture as he spoke, "Put the book down and lay on your back."
To his surprise, and slight delight, the living statue did exactly as he asked. Ratio sighed, shifting only slightly against the plush surface of the mattress and white sheets before settling in place.
Aventurine inched closer, almost tentatively. Settling up on the side of the bed, he leaned over the broad chest and traced his fingers over the porcelain skin delicately. "You're being oddly obedient."
"Would you prefer I make things difficult?"
"You do that enough. This is a nice change of pace for me."
There was no response, only a low hum of acknowledgement.
"Now what should I do with you, Doctor?" He traced a circle at the center of their pecs.
“A curious inquiry- though I believe you made your intentions quite clear.”
Chuckling, he let his fingers spread across the smooth skin, feeling the subtle rise and fall of breath beneath his palm. “Maybe I want to play with you a little first.”
The carmine eyes flicked to watch him with a low hum. There was no resistance or movement to stop him- if anything the scholar took a deep inhale to press against his hand more fully. "If it will make you feel more comfortable."
"You really don't like being touched do you?" Aventurine half chirped, smoothing his hand down the planes of muscle, tracing over the taut abs as they flexed.
"It is not the most agreeable sensation."
"But you're letting me touch you. Why?"
"Is the concept of affection truly so alien to you that you can't figure this out?"
He paused, pursing his lips at the comment. "You keep saying that, but never explain. How am I supposed to know?"
"Aventurine," a hand lifted and gently took his wrist. "I'm attempting to be kind to you."
He stared, confused. "By insulting my intelligence?"
"No you fool, by allowing you to set the pace."
The blond blinked at the naked man half under him.
Ratio sighed and shifted just a little. "Have you not noticed? I have never asked you for any sexual favors or performances, only that you allowed me to be comfortable."
Now that he thought about it, that was true. All four times they'd do anything, and now this one, it had been his idea. The only thing Ratio had ever asked him to actually do was be clean and relax for him.
"Why..?" He found himself asking. "You don't even like me that much."
"You make me want to question your intelligence."
Aventurine frowned, "Sorry we don't all have five PHDs."
"Eight," they corrected. "Now... Are you going to play with me, or do you want to talk?"
He dropped his gaze to the naked man, "I..."
The hand at his wrist squeezed just slightly, a thumb brushing his pulse before letting go. Ratio said nothing and yet again, Aventurine was left to make all the choices. It was strange...
"Talk... I think I want to talk a little more."
The doctor made no attempt to move away, only reaching for a blanket. "You may touch me as you see fit, but the air is a bit chilly."
"My bad, should I turn the heat up?"
"That's not necessary," they responded, making themselves comfortable. "What did you want to talk about?"
"I don't really know... The idea just sounded nice."
They hummed at that, "Will you permit me a personal question?"
"Sure."
"How old were you when you received the scars on your back?"
His mind went blank for a second. "Huh?"
"Your injuries... They look quite old... The skin has stretched them to fade slightly. Were you a teen?"
Aventurine only stared at the doctor as they questioned the worst days of a life he left behind. "Y-you shouldn't worry about that. It's nothing."
Ratio's expression softened, a strange thing in itself. He was used to all sorts of pity and looks of sadness in the early days when people had first heard whispers of the young Kakavasha and his dangerous, tragic past. The gaze Veritas Ratio had, however, was different. It was less pity and more acknowledging- recognizing the pain and understanding it rather than mediocre attempts to rectify it with empathy.
"Alright," they said calmly. "I apologize for asking. Perhaps that was too soon."
"Too soon to never," he corrected.
There was a soft sound of acknowledgement. "Would you tell me about Sigonia, if I asked?"
"What about it? It's dusty, poor, and underdeveloped."
"It is your home."
He wasn't sure he understood the meaning of the word. Home was something of a luxury, and for people with happier lives. Not for him.
"It's a graveyard," he corrected again.
Ratio made no argument.
"Haven't you heard the rumors? I'm Avgin. Just a filthy savage from a line of thieves and liars."
"Knowledge is a measure of truth and falsehood," they said calmly. "I would rather know facts than rumors, so I pay them no mind."
He looked up at the gilded red of their gaze and found himself matched, the scholar's eyes meeting his own unrelenting. For a moment he forgot where he was and the precarious awkwardness of their position. The lack of clothes somehow made him feel braver, allowing himself the advantage of natural vulnerability over the other.
"Why do you want to know? What benefit would it bring you?"
"A man does not need a reason to learn, only to practice it."
"And how do you plan to practice it?"
"I haven't decided yet," Ratio responded easily. "But there is an Avgin I am quite curious about. I would like to understand his way of thinking."
He snorted, "Was that supposed to be smooth?"
"No, just factual."
"Good, because it wasn't."
The good doctor ignored his attempt at provocation. "So... Aventurine... Will you tell me about Sigonia, or not?"
He hesitated, debating for a moment. "And what if I decide to lie to you? If I tell you that we can eat rubber and urinate oil?"
Ratio shrugged. "Then you lie to me."
Aventurine didn't know how to respond to that. He forced a smile, letting a breathy laugh escape him but found it difficult to keep up, fading quickly into a soft, peaceful expression.
"It's... Mostly sand and mountains," he said softly, brushing his fingers over Ratio's skin. "Basically a wasteland. You can wander for days and not see a single plant. Not even cactus."
The doctor listened intently, barely moving but giving him full attention.
"The only color you'll see is the sky, and sometimes the sky leaves... Gifts. Meteors are pretty common and they're... A blueish green color. It really stands out."
He swallowed as he thought about it.
"The Avgin see the land of Sigonia as the body of Gaiathra Triclops- these meteors were something SHE didn't have... So once a year, on Kakava day, the night SHE dies and is reborn by morning, we make ropes with beads made from those fallen stars to commemorate her rebirth for a new year."
Aventurine chuckled, thinking how silly it must sound to a man of science and logic.
"We call them Knots of Cyclicality. They're made and destroyed in the same day- tossed into the bonfires as the Avgin gift HER what SHE does not have. By destroying them in a fire, SHE claims them and they become part of HER."
Ratio tilted their head in curious inquisition, watching him carefully. "Sounds like a moderately tedious affair."
He smiled, in spite of himself. "Maybe... I wouldn't know. I haven't done it since I was little."
He didn't remember how to make them.
He didn't have anyone to ask.
Lowering his eyes, he focused on the way his fingers cast shadows on the warm skin beneath them.
"The Avgin are said to be blessed," he half scoffed. "We were... Gifted in the aesthetic arts. I remember the beads were always really pretty, and it seemed effortless. Some of the elders knew a bad rock from a good rock with a glance."
The memories were old, but fond.
"It's said that same blessing is why the Avgin are pretty.... Desirable even."
"I have heard of your kind being... Coveted."
He hummed. "That's one way to put it. The word Avgin means honey... And some people want to taste it for themselves."
He swallowed, wetting his lips and not looking up.
"Yet the elders still called it a blessing."
Ratio seemed to twitch, as if resisting the urge to move. To touch him. Aventurine found it odd given their respective positions- naked or vulnerable- so closely intimate that it seemed silly to refuse the impulse.
"Hope that satisfies your curiosity."
"It was quite informative," they said. "Thank you for the insight."
"This has got to be the weirdest foreplay and pillow talk I've ever had," the blond snorted.
In a rare, fleeting thing the professor actually cracked a smile at that. "Perhaps. It is up to you if you'd like to change that."
"Why are you doing this?"
The doctor looked confused.
"Being nice to me? Letting me do whatever I want? What are you getting out of this?"
"Is that not obvious?" They drawled in a disappointed, tired tone.
He shrugged.
"Contrary to what you may have convinced yourself, gambler, I do quite enjoy your company. If my body is the only aspect that gains your attention, then I will allow you that much."
The words were so formally executed that he almost didn't register that the good doctor said they liked him. "Y-you... What?"
"Did I misspeak?"
The concept seemed illogical at best. "No, just... What?"
There was a bit of a sigh, maybe in resignation more than frustration."Aventurine, may I request something of you?"
He blinked, "I'm not sure. What is it?"
"I would like you to kiss me."
"Huh?"
"I would have instigated one some time ago, but I did not want to impose. As I've said, you are setting the pace."
"Some time ago- wha- since when?" He leaned back, looking over the still naked man in his sheets.
Ratio looked off to the side, humming in thought in a low way that almost growled. It was ridiculously attractive. "The first time I can recall the compulsion to do so was during a conversation at the Golden Hour about the odds of the gachapon."
"You remember the exact time you wanted to kiss me?"
"It would be difficult to forget something like that. You were smiling- genuinely and not the mask you like to wear."
Aventurine's eyes widened a bit.
"You seemed honestly surprised you won. The look on your face was..."
He waited, feeling the deep breath beside him.
"Cute."
There were a lot of words Aventurine had heard for descriptors. Cute was one of the rarer ones and usually reserved for mockery. Yet coming from Veritas Ratio, it seemed genuine and fond. Something precious and made him feel as if he needed to hide his face for some reason.
"Your eyes lit up, your ridiculous looking glasses almost slid off your nose- there was a bounce to your step as you claimed the prize. You tend to giggle when you get excited or nervous."
As if to prove a point, he swallowed back the urge to chuckle.
"Maybe it's sentimental, but I wanted to kiss you and congratulate yet another win."
"Didn't you insult me for even playing the game?"
"I stand by that it was a trivial waste of time, but I’m still glad you could enjoy it."
At that he couldn't help but laugh. "That was months ago, Ratio. If you wanted to kiss me, why didn't you do it when we were doing stuff like this?"
Ratio looked down at the thin blanket between them, as impassive as always. "You enjoy making me repeat myself, don’t you? I would prefer you want it as well- rather than me forcing it upon you.”
The blond finally seemed to get it, even if only a little, at that small admittance.
He was being given the choice.
He wasn’t having someone else’s affection thrust upon him by force- he could take his time with Ratio and figure out what he wanted. Like they had said- he could set the pace. It was an act of kindness… because Dr. Veritas Ratio actually liked him.
The compulsion to ask why came and went, tucked away as he slowly leaned down, tucking his hair to the side as he moved.
As much experience as he’d had in sexual matters- kissing was a novelty. Something he did to get into a mood, though rarely. An empty action to make someone else happy. He’d never really seen the appeal until the moment his lips brushed against Ratio’s, his heart fluttering in his chest like a caged bird.
They were slightly cool, plush, and soft. As much as the doctor tried to hide it, there was a slight tremble against him as he chased the chaste peck with a more real, lasting one. A delicate touch to his arm warmed the skin, and he wondered if it was normal to be hyper aware of someone so suddenly. Breath fanned against his cheek as Ratio tipped their chin, gently allowing him to lead but also guiding him.
Aventurine was surprised with himself at the realization he wanted a little more, enjoying the way his stomach flipped and his lungs seemed to take in air until they ached. The light touch of his tongue was greeted readily, a hand found its way to the back of his neck and carding through his hair as he tasted the man beneath him almost tentatively. Every second made him grow more confident, his eyes sliding closed to simply enjoy the sensation of something he’d always found strange before.
He sank into it, knowing how well those hands could trace every line of his person- and somehow comforted by the fact they had only wanted to give and not take. As he broke away to breathe, he lifted his eyes to find Ratio watching him carefully.
There was an unspoken conversation in the gaze. He could do whatever he wanted. Permission was already granted. He didn’t need to ask, or be told, he didn’t need to wait for a sign or command. If he wanted to trace his fingers over Ratio’s neck- he could, feeling the subtle bob of their throat as his palms moved to frame the handsome face. If he wanted to taste the words at their source, he was allowed, lips moving to meet his in a soft dance.
Aventurine shifted, moving the simple blanket aside and replacing it with his person. His thighs parted as he slid over the marblesque abs and framed them. He pinned the man beneath him gently- a light sound leaving him as the hand posted at the base of his skull wandered to slide down his spine, smoothing the silky fabric into his shoulders in a now familiar way that eased the tension out.
Moving to slide his hands up between them, he unbuttoned the loose fabric and let it slide away- sighing into a kiss as Ratio caressed his skin. The doctor hummed into his mouth, sharing the enjoyment as things progressed slowly. Every touch was careful and almost questioning, giving him the chance to pull away or redirect them.
He found the concept of ‘want’ to be an unusual occurrence. He had once wanted many things, but as he grew older and more jaded, the desire for more had faded over time. He’d became content with exactly what he had- and what was given or taken. Opportunity was his only chance to gain more, and there was no real point to seeking out what he couldn’t actively have.
The way he wanted Ratio’s hands on him was a visceral and vibrant thing.
The way he wanted the scholar to keep kissing him, to bite their bottom lip and inhale their breath was practically carnal.
The way he wanted to feel the heat of their skin against his own, to drag the deep, verbal purrs of the man’s voice with his own ministrations.
He wanted Ratio in a way that was almost terrifying.
“What are you doing to me?” he half whispered, moving to slip out of his pants with a feline, practiced grace. “Whatever it is- I don’t want you to stop.”
Aventurine wrapped his fingers around Ratio’s wrist, guiding their hand down to his hip. The offer was clear, and the doctor did not hesitate to take it. The trained digits dipped to cup his ass, filling the width of their palm with a gentle grip and clear desire.
He wriggled a little, pressing himself more into their touch. “Ratio-”
“Veritas,” they corrected. “Call me Veritas.”
It almost felt too intimate, yet the name tasted sweet on his tongue. “Veritas.”
The question he was about to ask made him grin.
“Can you reach into the drawer beside us and grab the lube, Veritas?”
He’d never known heat like this. Sex had always been a transactional experience- temporary satisfaction and pleasure for a necessary goal of obedience, information, blackmail… but not for himself. Aventurine had been explored inside and out- every fiber of his being claimed for the use of another purposely.
The tongue tracing up his neck as fingers pressed into the depths of his body was something new to him. Veritas’ gentle exploration, coaxing him through every discomfort with a defined and perfected gentleness was intoxicating and made his mind feel hazy. Like the massages before- the man’s fingers were a skilled tool that left him melting over their lap.
A deep, sensual sensation coiled in his guts- instead of a burn it was just a tension. He was worked open carefully, given ample time to adjust before moving on, each step taken carefully and with consideration for his comfort.
“Veritas-” he moaned softly, letting his head fall back. His eyes shuttered closed as he sighed with a hum of content, rocking his hips back and into the hand that brought him strange delights.
Ratio kissed the soft space beneath his ear, "You're so soft..."
"Mmn," words became difficult as a fingertip massaged his inner walls, finding the exact spot to make his vision blur and mind white noise.
The process was slower than any man has ever taken for him- giving each second due credit as he was held so carefully. Ratio's hair dusted his cheek as they allowed him to lean against their chest, one hand worrying over his shoulders for comfort as the other brought him pleasure.
He gasped as he found himself restless- unused to the tenderness and unusually eager for the burn of having a man inside him. If two or three fingers could feel this good- what would come after? Would he survive?
The tension rising in him told him he would die a thousand times in a single night.
"Veritas- More—"
He felt oddly empty as the fingers withdrew. Hands found his hips to help steady him, but Ratio made no attempt to take his control away. His pace. His speed.
The hot length against the seam of his ass begged for attention, throbbing and needy despite the patience of the man it belonged to. The tip had already begun to leak with pre and turn a shade of deeper red as Aventurine's hand slid up the shaft with a fresh coat of lube.
Veritas twitched with a controlled moan, enticing him to play for just a moment. It was fun to feel the restraint of the other tick just slightly- rattling the bars of their will and control with nothing but the flick of his wrist. It made him giddy that he was so wanted, and the carnal desire existed in the man, only kept bay by an affectionate respect that was more powerful.
"Do you want me, Doctor?" He couldn't help but ask.
The velvety red of their eyes was hazy with lust, lips swollen from use. "I do."
"Have you been dreaming of putting this big cock inside me?" He rolled his palm over the head, thumbing the crown with a deliberate pressure that made the refined scholar squirm.
"Aventurine," their voice quivered. "Don't test me like this. I won't last."
"Okay, okay," he half giggled, lifting himself up with a hand on Ratio's shoulder. "Are you ready? I may be the best you ever have."
"Take me as slowly as you need to, Aventurine," they said, ignoring his taunts somehow. "I know I'm not small."
While that was true, he'd had worse in both manners of the word. He'd been pressed open by larger, and unsatisfied by smaller. Both times, it felt as if something in him had broken... But despite the way Ratio filled him, he doubted it would be the same.
As the slight burn of being entered left him trembling, strong arms held him close and pressed kisses to his cheek and ear, whispering praises. Aventurine let himself fall into the sensation of it, rolling his hips to take a little more. A wet gasp left his lips as he repeated the motion, taking his time to feel the stretch and heat.
Veritas growled in his ear, a low and breathy moan dusting the delicate skin, "You feel so fucking good, Aventurine..."
"Kakavasha," he corrected, tipping his head to almost catch their lips. "My name- my name is Kakavasha."
It felt right. For the first time since he'd left it behind... It felt like the names Aventurine and Kakavasha were the same person and carried the same weight.
"Kakavasha," a deeper, more adoring voice echoed, practically resonating through his body as he sank on their cock a bit more. A little quiver on the syllables made it obvious how much he was testing their control.
"Yes," he almost whimpered, sliding his arms around the marblesque shoulders, bringing himself into an embrace.
It didn't hurt.
He had never considered it even possible to take a man without pain. Yet he almost felt like he was going to cry at the realization of that fact, squeezing his eyes shut as a pair of hands stroked his spine, delicately petting the scars and patchwork skin.
Balancing carefully in Ratio's arms, he arched his back under those hands. Rocking his hips down, he felt himself bottom out. "Ha-"
The other leaned back a little, giving him more space to find movement, circling his hips with large hands and only helping as he moved. Despite the calm, he could hear the shake of lust in their voice as they spoke, the tone itself bordering on a moan, "That's it- there you go..."
The first full thrust made them both gasp, the blunt head of Ratio's cock buried deep beneath his navel somewhere he couldn't explain. Aventurine chased the high, lifting his hips and letting them fall again. He could feel the shift of muscle in Ratio's arms, helping him descend as they found a slow, deep pattern.
"Kakavasha-" the name was spoken in reverence, breath spilling over his skin.
His fingers carded into the dark hair, tangling in the subtle waves as he forced Ratio to look up with a gentle tug. Aventurine crashed his lips against theirs, licking into the hot mouth that moaned and praised his real name. He drank it in, grinding their hips together to feel the way their cock throbbed inside him. He was given equal attention, gently palmed by skilled fingers or pressed to heated skin as Ratio guided his thrusts gently.
He could practically make out the shape and size perfectly, nestled against his walls and massaging into the perfect spot with every shallow thrust at the awkwardness of the angle. Heat was all he suddenly knew, the sticky way his skin clung to theirs and filled him from the inside out.
Every movement, every touch made him blind and stupid. He couldn't think of anything but Veritas, whispering the name between soft kisses as they held him like the most precious, delicate thing in the world to ever give pleasure.
He wanted more. He knew they did.
Another terrifying thing that filled him with a squirming emotion he didn't quite know the name for, fluttering and loud as it encompassed everything. It seemed impossible- yet plausible happened as he rode each pass to take them deeper and lose whatever existed of himself.
"Help me," he said, purring the words against the man's ear as he crossed his ankles behind their hips. "Fuck me, Veritas."
He was jacked up into the air with a defined force, bounced effortlessly. His entire body was practically weightless in Ratio's arms, a hand posted at his hip to guide him down the length as the other gripped his ass. Fingertips dusted the stretched rim, teeth grazing his skin as each deep thrust filled him completely.
A low growl rang in his ears, practically primal with lust, defined by the soft slap of skin. The two toned eyes threatened to roll back, lashes fluttered as Aventurine mewled for the pleasure he was given. His nails sank into the thick shoulders, raking the man closer- "Ver-Verita-ah- more-"
He couldn't get enough even as they gave it. Their name did something to the man's control, thrusts becoming harder and deeper with the encouragement.
"M-more-! Fuck me- by the Preservayyy- oh fuck- Veritas-"
Breath fanned across his skin, "Fuck."
Hands clutched at him, but didn't feel greedy. Fingers sank into his hips to hold him closer, rather than still. He could feel the bruises already forming in their shape- left as they climbed high as his cock wept between them, caught between the shifting bodies.
Veritas seemed to be everywhere, overtaking his senses with the sound of skin and scent of sex. He could taste the sweat on their shoulder as he gasped for air, almost doubling over in a fit of pleasure as the doctor kept him at just the right angle to make him see stars every time he came down on the length.
"Ratio-a- V-V-Veritas-" he tried to make out anything at all, choking on the words as they tried to leave his throat. "I'm-"
"Kakavasha-"
Hearing his name pushed him over. He moaned into their mouth as Ratio kissed him, lips numb and voice raw as his entire body shook with ecstasy. He couldn’t see- couldn’t think- only focus on the softness of the man’s hair as he wrapped his arms around their shoulders and pressed himself as close as he could.
He was allowed to bask in the feeling for the first time he could ever remember- to come down slowly and experience the endorphins individually and personally. He lost count of the stars he counted behind his eyes, the blinding static fading into nothing but Ratio as a hand slid down his spine, keeping him still in gentle assurances.
Aventurine wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in Dr. Veritas Ratio, sore and shaking from nothing but pure pleasure. Everything felt hypersensitive- his muscle twitching at the slightest touch or movement. Those velvety red eyes looked up at him again, the gold practically burning as the pupils dilated as they focused on him. A hand cupped his cheek and he practically melted into it, taking a deep breath.
“Are you alright? Was I too rough?”
He laughed, unable to stop himself from smiling as he dipped his head enough to brush their lips together. The doctor accepted the kiss, returning it with such gentle care that it made him feel fragile and real. “Not rough enough- do you think I’ll break?”
A low sound came from the back of their throat. Acknowledgement. “I will keep that in mind for future engagements.”
“Huh-?”
“Unless you would prefer this to be a singular occurrence?”
It was a wonder he didn’t shriek in offense at the suggestion. “What the- no!”
“Good. Now let’s get you cleaned up so you can rest.”
Before he could really think on the statement, Ratio had lifted him effortlessly. He was gently slid off their cock, noting how it still stood firm and proud as it dripped with precum. The thick length bobbed under his gaze, practically weeping to go back into the soft heat.
“Wait- wait- you didn’t-”
“Hm?” they asked as he tried to keep himself upright, clinging to the strong shoulder with a shaking grip.
Aventurine couldn’t help but stare- “You didn’t finish?”
The doctor didn’t seem at all bothered by the obvious, “I will later.”
“No- no,” he tugged at them, trying to pull them back. The scholar looked genuinely confused by the insurance as he pushed himself back into the other’s lap. “That is not how this is going to go.”
“Aven- Kakavasha-” Ratio tried to begin, an argument already forming.
“No,” he said again. “You said we do this at my pace- I say you cum.”
Their throat bobbed in obvious interest.
“Now, Doctor,” he said, lips curled in a grin. Leaning back, he spread his legs in clear invitation. He could feel his body already trying to put everything back together. “Finish what you started. Fuck me full. Don’t stop even if I pass out.”
The man’s lip twitched to the side in what almost looked like disgust but he recognized more as frustration. “I am trying to be good to you,” Veritas growled. “Yet you ask me to treat you like a whore.”
“Aren’t you the one who said I was a slut?” he teased.
A huff. Indignant. “I did not. You set that word upon yourself.”
“I’m waiting, Doctor.”
The person who crawled between his thighs was the same and yet not. A clear irritation was evident on the calm features- but still possessing the same tentative care that had held him moments ago. “Tell me if I frighten you.”
Aventurine sputtered a laugh- “You think you can scare me?”
“Don’t make this difficult.”
“Sure, sure,” He giggled a bit. “My safe word is Baccarat.”
Ratio made a face, brows knitting in obvious concern or confusion.
He burst out laughing. “It’s a game!”
“Bock… a-rah?” The perplexity was clear in their tone.
Bubbling a laugh, “By the Preservation, just fuck me already.”
“As you wish. Use the word if you need it.”
“Hm~” A cap sounded in the air and he realized they were getting more lube. As he looked up at the perfected torso of the man about to possibly give him the best sex in his life, Aventurine bit his lip and tried not to look too excited. It was a failed effort, but a valiant one.
“Interesting.”
“What?”
One hand took his chin, holding him steady while slowly, purposefully pushing him to the sheets. As the back of his head met the mattress, he was pinned there with a kiss. “Your eyes glow when you’re excited.”
He blushed, but didn’t dare ask. The last thing he wanted was Ratio to start questioning what he knew of the Avgin when he was so close to getting what he wanted. “You get distracted easily.”
“Contrary.”
He gasped as a thick, hard shape pressed into him again. As the man found perfect placement between his thighs, hips flush to his, he couldn’t help but sigh in satisfaction at how good it felt- little bolts of pleasure easing up and down his spine and coiling tight beneath his navel. “Mnn-”
“I am paying attention to every detail of you.”
A hand found his hip, stroking one of those sweet spots that made him feel loose and tingly. Still sensitive from their first round, it was even more potent and he couldn’t help the soft sound that came out of him when it was matched with a thrust.
“And I am going to use them to my advantage.”
He would get a live demonstration in seconds- the next thrust shunting him up the mattress with a defined and perfect force at the correct angle to ram into his prostate. It left him almost breathless, a pathetic mewl leaving his throat in response.
“Remember your words, Kakavasha. You may need them.”
Aventurine had heard once to beware the wrath of a patient man. He had always assumed it to be a precautionary advice for dealing with those who lie- gentleness so foreign a concept he couldn’t fathom it being anything else. Looking up at Ratio, he understood.
It was like the scholar had been pressurized and finally snapped- giving him exactly what they both wanted. The bed creaked beneath the force of each thrust, carving out a place for the thick cock in his guts and rearranging them as the man saw fit. He’d been used before, but he’d never been overtaken like this- the willing surrender of his body making it that much more potent.
The headboard slammed against the wall- once, twice, he lost count as it became a metronome behind his moans. His head tossed back, letting his voice flow freely as he clawed at Ratio’s shoulders for more. It hurt a little- his body pushed to the limit of stimulation. His entire frame tucked into the strong arms, shoved down every time Ratio bucked their hips- ensuring he took it all. The world behind his eyelids started to spark, the world blurring at the edges of what little he could still see.
He could feel another orgasm coming as his mouth fell open in a wet gasp, eyes fluttering as the doctor fucked him senseless. His balls tightened as theirs hit the stretched, puffy rim with an audible slap. The low pants and grunts of the man above him were unlike any he'd ever heard.
“Kakavasha-”
His jaw was turned, guided to face theirs so a tongue could slide against his own. Veritas moaned into his mouth openly as the pace slowed, gathering him into their arms more properly. Aventurine was tugged back down, put back into the softness of the pillows and properly split open by the man between his thighs. He reached out to glide his hand over their chest, delighting in the way his fingertips grazed the flexing muscle as they dipped lower to where they were joined.
Twitching almost violently, he gasped for air as Ratio let him breathe for a moment.
“Beautiful.”
As he managed to focus during the short reprieve, he could see a faint blue reflected in the red of their eyes. It was short lived as Ratio regained momentum, flexing impressive strength to hold him still and watch the way he was being fucked. His cock looked almost pathetic in comparison, dripping with need and twitching as his prostate was bumped against. Each thrust felt like it was nailing him down, pulling him thinner and thinner until he’d snap.
Hands slid up his body, cradling his ribs and framing him. A low sound followed- not quite a grunt but not a moan either. It was so distinctly unique to the person holding him he didn’t even know what to call it anymore- just Veritas Ratio.
“Vuh-v…” the syllables were hard, the letters too difficult to pronounce. His tongue was thick as he keened to the touches. “Ha- Doctor-”
“Hmn,” the professor continued to pet him. “You’re doing so well, Kakavasha.”
Hearing his name just made him shiver, biting his lip as he looked up. He had to be a mess- clumped lashes and tear stained, pink tinted cheeks. He could barely breathe, chest heaving as he struggled to make sense of anything at all. He was so close- his entire frame a bowstring that was on the verge of snapping.
Yet the hands on him felt so good- the soft touches and loving way that Ratio caressed his skin sending little jolts of pleasure through him despite the impatience. He was so close- so close- so very, very close. Yet he was so happy to stay here- wound up and needy instead of letting it end and being grateful it was soon.
“So very well… and good behavior deserves reward…. Tell me, gambler, where should I paint you with my seed?”
The words made him shudder, attention fixed to the other hand that trailed across his chest.
“Here?”
It dipped lower, smoothing over his abs.
“Perhaps here…?”
Then pressed beneath his navel, matching a roll of hips to stuff him completely full.
“Or here?”
Aventurine keened at the pressure, wriggling a bit with a gasp.
“Here-” he smoothed his hand over his stomach, his fingers ghosting over theirs. “Inside.”
“Damn you,” Ratio leaned down and kissed him with a bruising intensity, biting at his bottom lip before speaking again. “You tempt me too much.”
He couldn’t help but grin, using the shift in position to pull them as close to his body as possible. Tugging at the dark hair, he kept them in place as he exhaled over the shell of an ear- “I want it all, Veritas.”
As he tried to make sense of it, fingers curled around his cock and stroked him to match the slow roll of Ratio’s hips- keeping him suspended on the edge of what felt like a truly sweet dream. The hand squeezed and he almost grimaced, a choked whine peeling from the back of his throat as the good doctor began to work him. He gasped, trying to regain what little of his sanity he’d gotten back in the brief pause, only to have it torn out of him as a wanton moan as Veritas bucked their hips and started fucking him just as hard as before.
He wasn’t sure if it was the promise of being filled up or the hypersensitivity- but he could actively feel the way their cock carved him open- the dull pulse in his guts as the walls were forced open by the thick girth of a man’s need. Rocking his hips up, he rode both of the sensations, squeezing his eyes shut as it got to be too much again.
Aventurine was cumming, hard- soft- he wasn’t sure. It was almost as if the state had blurred into everything else, his cock weeping between thick fingers as it didn’t seem to stop. He was taken higher and higher, his vision going white as he ascended into some sort of strange nirvana. When he finally needed to breathe- it snapped, crashing him back down to the mortal world as his body shook and pulsed.
When he thought he couldn’t be more overtaken- Ratio leaned down, tucking his body into theirs and forcing him to curl just slightly. He was held tenderly, but possessively, lips and teeth dusting his shoulders as the sound of the man’s pants changed- more ragged and broken. The smooth pace stuttered with desire.
A deep inhale prefaced a broken moan. “Oh-” Their breath shook, “Kakavasha-”
The velvety eyes slid shut in bliss, lips forming a circle with a vulnerable, delicate moan that burned itself into Aventurine’s memory.
He could feel it in him, the thick heat pulsing in him as he was pumped full. The familiar wetness didn’t feel disgusting for a change- just finalizing. Proof of his efforts. Everything was spinning and fading into the black- his heart pounding in his ears. It didn’t feel real. As if he was somewhere else- maybe still in a dream or falling asleep-
Oh-
As the world completely left him, he couldn’t help but smile.
The first thing he felt was fingers in his hair. Something warm and smooth on his cheek. His eyes were heavy and hot, staying shut as he just enjoyed the feeling for a moment.
He was being held, he realized- recognizing the familiar scent of Ratio’s shampoo nearby as he slowly processed where his body laid. Aventurine found himself tucked against a shoulder, his arm draped across Ratio’s chest as it raised and fell with deep, level breath.
He didn’t want to move.
He didn’t want to disturb the moment.
His eyes burned and watered as he took in every detail. His hair wasn’t washed, but felt damp. Someone had run at least a wet cloth over him from top to bottom- leaving him feeling clean and renewed. The air that filled his lungs was cool and fresh.
As he opened his eyes, he didn’t see soiled sheets and the remnants of sin.
It was just Veritas Ratio… quietly reading a book and holding him while he slept.
“Hm?”
The book snapped shut and was sat aside, much like before. The same hand was turned to him, tucking his hair back from his brow.
“Did you rest well? I hope you’re not too sore.”
He hummed, licking his lip and hesitating from moving away. Ratio made no attempt to push him aside or encourage it. If anything, the scholar seemed to ease him more into it, making sure he was comfortable.
“How long was I out?” he asked, testing his voice. Lifting one of his hands, he rubbed at his eyes to try and hide how emotional he was getting.
“About two system hours. If you are hungry, I have arranged for dinner to be delivered to the room.”
They had even prepared to feed him…?
His eyes watered in response and he wasn’t sure why, but it seemed oddly right. Ratio didn’t chastise his tears any more than anything else, just calmly collecting his vulnerable state and holding him close.
“Oh- I’m… Sorry- I don’t know what’s come over me,” he started to pull away, feeling the cold on his skin immediately.
Ratio cupped his cheek, thumbing away one of the tears. Aventurine was tugged back in, softer and warmer than before.
“I find it quite telling that kindness would make you cry.”
He barely understood the words, but knew their weight.
“I don’t understand,” he squeaked out.
He was hushed, his hair stroked from his face as he was taken care of. It was incomprehensible and strange- but he liked it. The soft touches made him feel… human.
“For all of your intelligence, you know nothing of love,” they whispered to him. A soft kiss pressed to his temple as he was eased in a pillow to rest, still an exhausted mess of his usual self. “Do you really find it so strange that I would want to show you the kindness and love you deserve?”
Love.
That strange four letter concept that was barely something of note in his life. Outside of his family, no one had ever said they loved him. No one had even said they liked him- he was simply something valuable or useful. It was an ideal so distant from his person he didn’t know it was possible.
Yet hearing the word from Veritas Ratio somehow just made him want to cry.
He felt weaker, smaller and stupid. As if all his accomplishments were for nothing in the wake of a simple little utterance that ripped them down and revealed the soft belly of who he really was.
Because underneath Aventurine was Kakavasha.
While most saw the IPC Stoneheart, few ever glimpsed beyond that name and face. The crazy, gambling madman with a penchant for trouble could never be the gentle, soft child of Gaiathra Triclops that was born in the rain. The delicate heart of a boy that couldn’t bear to part with what little memory they had of love, protected in walls of amber and coin where no one could hurt him but no one could find him to love.
Yet for some reason- “You love me?”
“Yes, Aven-... No. Kakavasha. I do.”
A hand pressed to his cheek and he almost melted into it, closing his eyes and biting the inside of his cheek to try and stop himself from bawling.
“You know nothing of what it means to be loved or love in return, but you can learn,” Ratio said confidently. “If you will allow me, you will find that I am a very good teacher.”
A little laugh bubbled from his chest, laced in a hopeless grin as he realized there was no way to cheat his way out of this. There was no denying it either- what he wanted was very clear. “A-are you going to put me on a grading scale like your students? Will I get chalk thrown at me for wrong answers?”
“If you would like, I can grade your progress.”
Aventurine chuckled nervously, “If I say I want to learn, what would that be worth?”
Their tone was almost affectionate, a light smirk tugging at the handsome lips. “Hm… Ten points.”
So his lessons began. One after another. One day at time- a patient hand holding another, waiting for it to squeeze back when it was ready.
Love was foreign to someone named Aventurine.
But it was everything to Kakavasha, the best student of Doctor Veritas Ratio, PHD.