Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The van took another jump as Party lifted their foot off the gas too abruptly and Ghoul laughed, although his ribs were already hurting.

“Jet was right,” he observed. “Ya the worst driver in the Zones.”

“Learning’s a process, shut up,” Party said, keeping their eyes on the road although there had been absolutely nothing ahead of them for miles already. The most ridiculous thing were the fingerless leather gloves they were wearing as if they were in a fucking race. They were clutching the steering wheel tightly.

“Just wait til ya have to drive stick,” Ghoul teased and Party groaned.

The former Bli van they were currently driving was automatic. For one, Jet had refused to lend them the Am as soon as he’d heard that Party was driving, and second, they wouldn’t have been able to fit the two large mattresses stacked in the back otherwise.

“That the place?” Party asked as the diner came into view.

“Yep,” Ghoul confirmed, trying to swallow his nerves. All he’d told them so far was that they were bringing out the mattresses to a place that was supposed to house a new crew soon. If Party refused the offer, another crew would probably take the place happily anyway.

“Nice out here,” Party stated, their voice chatty. 

Driving out here with them had been very different from his drive with Jet. Although they stayed very focused on the road, they had still managed to tell Ghoul all about the little scandals and blossoming love affairs back at the shelter, that would have bypassed him completely otherwise.

Party pulled over and slammed the brakes, tossing Ghoul forward in his seat only to slam him back into it.

“Destroya, Pois,” he said as they killed the engine. “Ya didn’t get ‘round to the lessons on parking yet?”

“Jet’s putting his focus on getting the car started,” they said with a grin.

Ghoul had to admit that was usually the more important part during a get-away, but he was still grateful for having put on a seatbelt. Party drove like someone who had never struggled to learn anything before and lacked the patience to put in effort.

“Come on, Imma show ya ‘round,” Ghoul offered and got out of the car first. He put his hand on his gun, but there were no vehicles around that indicated they might not be alone.

He was able to walk pretty much on his own again by now, even though his leg was still a little stiff. He wondered if it would ever be the same again. Dr. D claimed he could feel it in his bones when it was about to rain. Maybe it would be the same for Ghoul from now on, too.

Party followed him inside and Ghoul made sure to turn around to watch them as they looked the place up and down for the first time. Their eyes stayed alert, but their lips twitched into a smile.

“Destroya, ‘s place is beautiful,” they observed. Ghoul had known they would like the retro aesthetic. It felt authentic and lived in, the complete opposite of the apartments in Bat City. “Jet’s found this place?”

“Yeah.” Ghoul watched them spin around. They were wearing tight grey jeans today and a crop top that left their midriff bare. They had started putting on weight lately and Ghoul noticed the little pudge where the waistband of the jeans was biting into their belly. The sight made him feel hot all over.

“Motel at the back ’s got three rooms,” he added.

Party stopped moving to turn towards him again. “We’re taking the mattresses there?”

“Guess we should just get ‘em inside.” Ghoul shrugged. “‘S easier to move ‘em if there’s more people ‘round.”

Party hummed. They didn’t point out that Ghoul had specifically asked to go alone today. “Then let’s get on with that.”

Ghoul felt a sting somewhere behind his ribcage. He wondered if Party wanted to get it over with quickly to return to the shelter.

They walked out again and Ghoul followed, waiting while they unlocked the van.

“How do we best …?” Party grabbed the edge of a mattress and started pulling, only moving it by a few inches.

“I pull. Ya get in there ‘n push,” Ghoul instructed.

Party climbed into the van and started pushing against the mattress. It wasn’t even the weight that made them difficult to handle, they were just very unwieldy. Outside, it was hot and Ghoul felt the back of his shirt drenched in sweat by the time they managed to get the first mattress out of the van. 

“Ya could’ve parked closer to the door,” he pointed out.

“I could’ve crashed into the building,” Party joked and lifted the mattress awkwardly. Ghoul couldn’t help staring at their flexed biceps for a second too long.

He moved backwards, relieved when they were finally inside and could drop the mattress on the floor.

“Fuck,” Party swore and wiped the sweat off their forehead with the back of their hand. Their top was clinging to their body. Their skin would probably taste salty now.

“Next one?” Ghoul said and quickly looked out to the van again.

“If ya tryna kill me,” Party muttered. “I’m starting to reconsider this whole escape. Sure, I’ve gained personal freedom, but I gave up on air conditioning.”

Ghoul chuckled. He had missed their antics. He had missed the way they grinned when they managed to make him laugh.

He went back outside and the second mattress turned out to be a little easier to move, since they had more leeway inside the van. Dragging it all the way into the diner was still a pain in the ass though.

They dropped it at the centre of the room and Ghoul let himself sink onto it, massaging his leg.

“It still bothers you?” Party asked rather quietly.

“It is what it is.” Ghoul looked up at them to give them a smile. He was pretty sure that he looked like a mess, sweat-soaked and his long, dark hair uncombed. He still hadn’t gotten a haircut since he was back.

“Imma get us something to drink,” Party offered and went back to the van.

They returned with an arm full of bedsheets and a backpack slung over their shoulder. It was common for killjoys to have a bag on them at all times, containing water and bandages and the things they wanted with them when the Witch came to collect them - just in case. Party was carrying the same backpack they had brought with them from the city.

They dropped the sheets on the floor and sat down on the mattress next to Ghoul, pulling up the backpack to get out an old plastic bottle. They held it out to Ghoul first.

Ghoul took it and unscrewed the lid, taking a few greedy gulps. The water was warm and tasted stale, but it still offered relief for his dry throat.

He handed the bottle back to Party, who took a few sips as well. Back in Bat City, it would have felt intimate, but out here in the desert heat, sharing was just what they did.

Ghoul let himself sink back on the mattress to lie down comfortably. The sweat on his skin was starting to cool.

Party stored the water bottle away again and let themself fall onto their back with so much force that Ghoul felt the mattress bouncing underneath him.

He studied Party’s profile. They were gazing at the ceiling, grinning widely. They had a slight stubble again and their winged eyeliner was smeared already. Their sunburned skin had finally stopped peeling. Freckles were showing on their cheeks as well as on their shoulders. Ghoul would never have expected them to have freckles, but it was one of the cutest things he had ever seen. They also needed to touch up on their hair dye already. The dishwater blonde roots looked dark compared to the fiery red. They were absolutely beautiful.

“Ah, this is nice actually,” Party said and closed their eyes. “To get some fucking quiet for once.”

They paused and Ghoul wondered if there was something they wanted to imply.

“Yeah?” he asked quietly. “Thought ya were enjoying the buzz at the shelter.”

He didn’t manage to hide his bitterness entirely, although he disliked that side of himself, the side that was insecure and petty. He preferred being straight-forward, but he had no right to accuse Party of anything.

“I do,” Party confirmed and opened their eyes again. Sunlight was falling in through the open door, causing their long lashes to cast shadows across their cheeks. “It’s a lil’ much at times, though. Everyone wants something from Party Poison all the time.”

They were smiling softly though, like they weren’t really mad about it.

Ghoul propped himself up on his elbow to look at them.

“But ya happy?” he asked. He had asked the same question a while ago already, but back then, Party hadn’t been sure about their answer yet.

“Yeah, I am. It’s a different kind of stress than in Bat City, y’know?”

“Ya look good, too.” Ghoul cleared his throat. He wanted to tell them that he would like to kiss every one of their freckles. “I mean, like ya growing into yourself.”

“Quite literally.” Party laughed and reached down to cup their stomach. They looked slightly embarrassed. Ghoul followed the movement of their hand with his eyes.

“Think it’s sexy,” he said before he could think better of it. “Not that …” He cleared his throat again. “Not that it matters what I think.” He didn’t want to be like Bli, telling anyone what kind of standard to live by. “‘S important ya feel comfortable, ‘s all.”

Party smiled. “Yeah, I actually do. My body’s slowly starting to feel like my own. ‘N look at this.” They held up their arm and tensed their biceps to show off the muscles starting to form from the physical labour they had never needed to do in Bat City.

Ghoul shoved their arm lightly. “Oh, I’ve seen that. Would have been faster with ‘em mattresses if ya’d done more lifting ‘n less flexing.”

Party laughed, but Ghoul’s face felt hot.

“‘S just good to feel like a person ‘n not like a product, y’know? Been thinking ‘bout getting my ears pierced, too. Or maybe my belly button.”

Ghoul hummed noncommittally, looking down to where Party’s top was revealing their stomach. He tried not to picture it. If they did get their belly button pierced, he’d have to move out into the desert all by himself or he would lose his mind.

“I asked Kobra to get matching snake bites, y’know? Cause we’re the fucking venom siblings,” Party carried on.

Ghoul snorted, grateful for the distraction. “What’d he say?”

Party dropped their grin and stared at the ceiling with a perfectly straight face. “No fucking way, Pois.”

Ghoul giggled and laid back down on his side. It felt good to just lie here with Party, laughing about silly stuff. He wished they could do this all the time. He’d much rather do that than change the world, if he was honest.

“But it’s probably for the best.” Party sighed. “I’m still dead scared of fucking needles anyway. Bad memories.”

“Cause of your ma,” Ghoul said.

“Yeah.” 

Ghoul was overcome by a weird emotion, that was part sadness and part pride. It felt good to know Party this well, better maybe than anyone else. It didn’t matter that they had spent less time with each other lately. The intimacy between them was still very real.

He licked his lips. There was something else he needed to get out of the way, though.

“Hey, ya wanna play a round of question ‘n answer?” he suggested.

Party rolled onto their side, so they were facing each other. The red hair brought out the green in their eyes. In the shadowy room, they were Ghoul’s favourite colour.

“No,” they said. “But we can talk if ya wanna.”

Ghoul smiled in spite of his nerves. He felt overcome by fondness. They had changed a lot since their first meeting.

“Kay,” he mumbled and paused. “Ya hooking up with someone?”

Party laughed, that surprised, helpless little laugh they let out when they didn’t know what else to do. They reached up and rubbed their cheek. They still hadn’t taken off their leather gloves.

“Destroya, Ghoulie, ya always cut right to the point.”

Ghoul shrugged. “No point in dancing ‘round it, is there? Wanna know how ya feel ‘bout me.”

Party nodded slowly. “Yeah, wanted to know that too, y’know?” Their gaze was still tender. “Hooked up with a couple of people. Wanted to fucking talk ‘bout it to you, but didn’t know how to bring it up. Just feels like I missed out, y’know? Wanted to know what it’d feel like with others.”

Ghoul swallowed. It hurt to think of Party with someone else, kissing, touching, giggling into their neck, whispering into their ear. It hurt to know that someone else had experienced those things already, when he still didn’t know what it was like. But he was also relieved they had taken the time to figure out what they actually wanted.

“‘S why ya were avoiding me?”

Party blinked slowly. “Wasn’t avoiding ya, Ghoulie. Just needed a bit of space to find myself outside Bat City.”

“So how was it?”

Party smiled while biting their bottom lip. It was completely chapped by now. Sometimes, they wore lipgloss.

“T’was good. Fun. I’m a good kisser.”

Ghoul snorted.

“Had a good teacher,” Party added gently.

Ghoul rolled his eyes, mostly so he didn’t have to look at them while his face felt this hot. He didn’t want to think of them kissing other people like they’d kissed him.

“Feels good to be in my own skin, too, y’know? Feeling my body ‘n being allowed to share it if I wanna.”

Ghoul thought about how lucky all of these joys had been to get a chance with Party Poison, who was so far out of everyone’s league, just because they were easy and restless.

“I like feeling wanted. In Bat City, I was wanted. But everyone just wanted a piece. I was never quite good enough to actually … earn it.”

They broke off. They didn’t have to say Korse’s name for Ghoul to understand.

“Felt like a rush at first, like I was starving. Couldn’t get enough of touching people.”

“And now?” Ghoul felt scared of the answer. He was scared that there was a hole inside Party’s chest that could never be filled and that they would go around chasing for the rest of their life. Ghoul would love them anyway if that was the case, but it wasn’t what he wanted.

Party shrugged. “It’s still fun. Loses its appeal quickly if it’s just that, though. Just fun.”

They batted their lashes and looked straight at Ghoul. Something fluttered inside his stomach.

“No attachments then?” he asked.

Party shook their head. A strand of red hair fell into their face, but Ghoul wasn’t quite sure if it was the right moment to brush it away yet.

“No, just names ‘n faces. Girls ‘n boys ‘n whoever else wanted me.”

Ghoul raised his eyebrows. Their voices were hushed. He felt bad for not having had this conversation sooner. It hurt to hear about, but he still felt guilty for not being more supportive while Party tried to figure themself out. It sounded like a lot had been on in their mind lately and Ghoul had simply looked the other way because he was too much of a coward to be the friend they needed.

“Girls?” he repeated. “Thought ya were gay? Or, y’know, only attracted to men.”

Party shrugged again and smiled. It looked hesitant and a little sly, like they were both insecure and excited about sharing this new insight about themself with Ghoul.

“Turns out I’m not. Who knew, eh? Never liked the idea of being a man in relation to a woman. Like, this whole traditional family model Bli expected of us really turned me off. But now that I don’t have to think of myself as a man anymore … makes a lot of things easier, y’know? I’m more open-minded ‘bout a lotta things now.”

“Yeah,” Ghoul confirmed and reached out, gently trailing the back of his finger across Party’s jaw, feeling the stubble. 

“Yeah, that too,” Party confirmed. “Feels easier to let shit go when you stop thinking in categories.”

“I’m glad ya figuring things out.” Ghoul dropped his hand. The non-selfish part of him really was happy for Party.

“Why ya asking though? Ya feeling jealous?” Party’s grin turned cheeky. They were clearly trying to turn it into a joke, because the atmosphere had gotten so serious. They often seemed troubled by that, as if they were scared of being dropped, if they weren’t fun enough to be around.

Ghoul didn’t join in with their joking tone. “Yeah,” he confirmed. “‘S killing me.”

Party looked startled, biting their lip again, but they weren’t smiling. They just stared at Ghoul.

Ghoul barely moved.

“Hey, Ghoulie?” Party whispered. “I know I misread signals before. So I just wanna make sure I don’t blow this. But, uh, do ya want me to kiss ya right now?”

“Yeah,” Ghoul said. “Very much.”

He felt the mattress shift underneath him as Party moved and then their lips were on his, chapped and rough and very gentle. They tasted different than they had in the city, sweeter somehow, of lukewarm soda and homegrown honey. He parted his lips and Party slipped their tongue into his mouth, their kiss slow and lazy and tender.

Ghoul reached up to run his hand through their hair. It felt dry and oddly sticky, the result of dye and sun and grease. He smiled into the kiss.

He kept his hand in their hair as he rolled onto his back, making sure to pull them along.

Party let out a startled, little noise into his mouth, following his guidance to get on top of him without breaking the kiss. They kept their weight on their arms, their bodies barely touching. Ghoul felt the heat radiating off them. It was warm and sticky inside the diner, but he still wanted to feel them all over himself.

Party’s movements were careful and slow, but Ghoul wasn’t in a rush either. They could have had this at the shelter already, hurried and breathless in one of the volunteer rooms, hoping that no one would walk in on them, but he had wanted it like this - with a room to themselves and all the time in the world.

Party pulled back and Ghoul smiled up at them. They were so close, he could count the wrinkles around their eyes and the freckles on their nose. 

“Okay?” they whispered.

“Will ya move in here with me?” he asked. “‘N Jet? ‘N Kobra?”

“Yeah,” Party said. They didn’t sound surprised at all. Ghoul assumed that they had known the moment they had pulled up in front of the deserted diner. “Can I kiss you again?”

Ghoul laughed quietly. He barely made a sound, but the vibration seemed to be caught between their chests.

“Yeah,” he said.

Party leaned down again, their mouth hot and more demanding this time. Ghoul thought that it had been meant to happen like this. All this time, he hadn’t been quite sure what he’d been waiting for. It hadn’t felt right to do this in Bat City, where Party had grown up and Ghoul had been dependent on them. And it hadn’t felt right to do it at the shelter either, where everything felt familiar to Ghoul and everything was new to Party. It had to happen right here, in this run-down diner. It had to happen in a place that finally belonged to both of them.

Party pulled back again, leaving Ghoul breathless and rubbing the tip of their nose against his. Their skin felt warm.

“Can I kiss your face?” they whispered.

Ghoul tilted back his head. “Yeah.”

Party kissed the corner of his mouth, making him shiver. They kissed the scar running up his cheek, gently as if the skin was still sore. Ghoul felt incredibly hot, but not with shame. Party had a way of making him feel attractive like no one else did. He didn’t feel self-conscious of his scars, his unkempt hair or the dirt under his fingernails. Because he loved the hair dye stuck to Party’s neck, their sunburn and their chapped lips. All the imperfections were part of them and he knew that Party was looking at him with just as much love.

“Love you,” he whispered as Party reached his cheekbone.

“Love you, too,” they said and kissed his brow, and before he could reply, they added: “Love you three.” They kissed the root of his nose. “Love you four.” They kissed his temple. “And five. And six.” They kissed his jaw. “And seven.” They kissed him on the lips again briefly.

Ghoul laughed. “How long ya gonna keep going?”

“They teach math in Bat City,” Party joked and rubbed his nose against Ghoul’s jaw. “Up to a billion.”

Ghoul laughed again and ran his hand through Party’s hair, tilting his head as they nibbled on his jaw. He could feel their stubble scratching against his skin. Their lips were dry and very careful.

“Can I kiss your neck?”

Ghoul chuckled, but he was starting to feel a little exasperated. “Course,” he mumbled.

Party moved down and their kisses turned more sensual, open-mouthed and wet, leaving Ghoul’s skin behind cool and damp. They sucked lightly and he moaned, instinctively bucking up his hips, but Party kept their distance, not giving him any friction. He was growing hard quickly and Party was still taking their time.

They started sucking on his neck in earnest now, sending a sharp, pleasant pain through Ghoul that had him gasping and digging his fingers into their shoulder. It felt weird to just let Party do the work, he was usually more active during sex, but he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed being pampered. 

Party’s hand moved to his hip, holding him down gently and he felt his face flushing hot as he realised how much he’d been squirming underneath them.

“Hey, Ghoulie? Can I take off your shirt?” they muttered, their breath hot against his neck.

Ghoul let out a low growl and sat up abruptly, pushing Party back. He reached down to strip off his shirt, tossing it aside without further ado.

“You too,” he demanded.

Party smiled, uncharacteristically hesitating for a moment before taking off their top. The skin on their chest was still pale compared to their tanned arms. Ghoul wanted to pull them in immediately to finally touch them all over, but he looked down at the mattress first.

“We should get ‘em sheets,” he stated. “Jet’s gonna kill us if we get spunk on the new mattresses before even moving in.”

He expected Party to laugh, but instead he could hear them swallow in the silence of the room.

“Oh, so we’re really gonna …” They broke off. “I wasn’t sure if we were gonna …”

Ghoul frowned. “‘S ‘bout time, don’t ya think? If ya wanna.”

He had waited so long for a moment where it was only them - not Bli and not the killjoys, not a Scarecrow named Gerard and not even a rebel leader named Party Poison, just them, without any masks at all.

Party nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

They leaned forward to grab one of the sheets, the flesh bulging over the waistband of their tight jeans. Ghoul wanted to sink his teeth into it.

He unbuttoned his own pants, stripping them off alongside his boxers while sitting on the edge of the mattress. Party did their best to spread out the bedsheets and once they turned around, they startled visibly.

“Destroya, you’re fast.” 

Ghoul felt slightly embarrassed for being naked already. Out here in the desert, hookups were usually quick and messy and he had assumed that Party had enough experience to know that by now. 

He scoffed. “Ya wanted to buy me dinner first?”

Party chuckled, but Ghoul saw them turning pink. The blush spread down their neck.

“Nah, you’re right.”

“Come here,” Ghoul said gently and crawled closer, running his hands over Party’s shoulders, before he laid back down on the sheets, looking up at them expectantly.

Party bit their lip and Ghoul felt his heartbeat thrumming in his chest. Party was nervous and somehow that made him nervous, too.

Party moved in, trailing their eyes down Ghoul’s body. He didn’t feel embarrassed by his nudity, although he rarely got fully naked in front of anyone, even during sex. He wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that he was hard already either.

Party just sat there for another moment, reaching out to touch his leg. They ran their fingers over the angry red scar above his knee. The touch didn’t hurt anymore, but the injury was still very visible.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” they whispered.

Ghoul shook his head. “Worth it.”

Party chuckled and finally crawled closer, leaning over Ghoul, still keeping their weight off him. Ghoul could see their biceps tensing close to his head.

They leaned down and kissed him again. It was still slow, but nonetheless hungry and intense. Ghoul pushed back with his tongue, they were licking each other, grazing each other with their teeth. He reached up, putting his hands on Party’s shoulders again, this time running them down their chest. Their body felt soft but firm underneath. He could sense the outline of their ribcage under his fingers, but they were already turning from skin and bones to fat and muscles, their skin surprisingly cool to the touch. They shuddered under the caress as if they were forcing themself to keep still and let his hands wander.

They broke the kiss to move down Ghoul’s neck again, stopping once their teeth scraped his collarbone.

“Can I kiss your chest?” they asked and Ghoul snorted with laughter.

He buried both of his hands in their red hair, tugging lightly to make them look up.

“How ‘bout I give ya general permission, yeah?” He couldn’t deny that their insecurity and need for reassurance were sweet, but he was growing impatient. “Ya can do whatever ya wanna, ‘kay? If I don’t like it, Imma tell ya.”

“Hm.” Party moved down further, resting their chin against his chest for a moment. It dug into his body painfully, but he didn’t complain. “Wanna lick you everywhere.”

Ghoul laughed, rubbing his thumbs against Party’s scalp affectionately. They were looking up at him, meeting his eyes and Ghoul felt like no one but them had survived the nuclear fallout. The door stood wide open, desert heat was seeping into the room, Exterminators were roaming the Zones, but none of it mattered. He wanted to let himself fall into this without a second thought to anything other than Party. This was the only moment in time that had ever mattered.

“I’m okay with that.”

Party hummed again and lowered their head, peppering kisses across Ghoul’s chest and down his abdomen. Ghoul kept his hands in their hair, not pulling or guiding them, just unwilling to break contact.

They stopped at every tattoo, outlining it with their tongue, wet and hot on his skin, their breath giving him goosebumps. He shivered, instinctively thrusting up his hips again, but he was met only with empty air.

He spread his legs as Party moved down further and finally he felt their lips on his dick. They were kissing up the shaft, making him pant, his chest heaving rapidly. They licked the head, placing another kiss at the tip, moving down again. There was no system to their touches, their hands were firmly placed on his hips.

Ghoul’s grip on their hair tightened as they wrapped their mouth around his dick, not bobbing their head, just licking and sucking as if they were trying to get a taste of him. Ghoul whimpered quietly. They still hadn’t taken off their fucking gloves and the leather felt sticky against his sweaty skin.

They pulled off and he tried to catch his breath.

“You’re so quiet,” Party said and Ghoul couldn’t place their tone, if they were surprised or disappointed or just stating an observation. He had learned to stay quiet, keeping every outcry of lust or pain to himself to not draw unwanted attention.

He looked at Party, their eyes half hidden behind messy strands of hair.

Slowly, they lowered their head again, keeping eye contact as they took him back into their mouth, not moving aside from the teasing slide of their tongue.

“Party,” he said, just loud enough for his voice to crack. He had forced the word out, wanting to let them hear him say it.

They closed their eyes and groaned around him. He could feel the vibration against his dick and thrusted upwards without meaning to. Party let it happen, allowing him to push deeper into their mouth, but then they pulled off, kissing down the shaft again.

Ghoul let go of their hair with one hand, fisting it into the bedsheets instead to not hurt them accidentally. He was still panting violently.

Party licked his balls, sucking them into their mouth and Ghoul’s dick jumped at the sensation uncurling in his stomach.

They let go again after a moment, trailing their tongue down his taint. The pressure they applied made him bite back a moan. They put their hand on his thigh and made him roll back. Ghoul’s breath hitched as he felt their warm tongue running over his hole that fluttered in response.

“Pois,” he protested weakly. He could only think about how much time had passed since he’d last taken a shower. He was sure that his skin tasted salty to begin with, but imagining the taste of his sweaty ass crack made him cringe.

Party looked up. “You don’t like it?” they asked, scanning Ghoul’s face for any sign of discomfort.

Ghoul sighed. “Just didn’t think ya actually meant licking me everywhere.”

“Oh, I meant it.” Party lowered their face again, pressing their nose against his taint and inhaling his rank smell. Their tongue darted out, licking over his hole again. 

This time, Ghoul actually let out a small moan.

“Thought about you here,” Party muttered and Ghoul felt himself flushing all the way down his chest. They used their thumb to spread his asscheeks apart. “So cute.”

Ghoul wanted to laugh because their statement seemed so silly, but he was breathless and all that came out was a ragged, desperate noise.

Party dug in again, tonguing his hole, licking the rim, sucking and pushing in their tongue. Ghoul could tell that they weren’t very experienced, there was something desperate and uncoordinated to their licks as if they just wanted to explore him by any means. He was whimpering now, wishing they would touch his dick again instead. His calf was pressing into Party’s shoulder.

They pulled back and then their finger brushed against his hole. Ghoul arched his back.

“Fuck, hold on.” Party giggled. They started fumbling with their glove, unwilling to sit up, so they used their teeth to pull it off.

Ghoul snorted. “Idiot,” he mumbled fondly.

Party grinned, lowering their head, so hair was falling into their face again. They brushed their finger against his hole once more, slowly pushing in.

Ghoul groaned between gritted teeth at the stretch, although he had already relaxed under Party’s tongue.

“Spit on it,” he demanded.

“What?” Party looked so startled that it made Ghoul giggle in spite of the situation. 

“‘S too dry. Ya gotta spit on it.”

“Oh.” This time, Ghoul noticed the blush on Party’s cheeks. “Gotcha.”

They puckered their lips and then Ghoul felt warm spit running down his crack. He shuddered, instinctively pushing out his hips. He felt Party’s finger slide into him deeper, slick and easy now.

“Fuck,” Party said and spit again, curling their finger to make Ghoul arch his back with a low gasp. “That’s so hot.”

Ghoul was starting to feel even sweatier, his body hot, his back sticking to the sheets. He felt himself clenching down on Party’s digit tightly. It had been a while since he’d last done this.

“Want another one,” he ordered breathlessly and Party complied, before they got up on their knees to lean over Ghoul.

Their fingers were still inside of him as deep as they went, which felt weird as they adjusted their position. They captured Ghoul’s lips in another kiss and Ghoul smiled into it like an idiot. He felt happy to be this close to Party. It felt both like a miracle and very natural at the same time. He felt like his chest might burst, because he was lucky enough to finally have this.

Their kiss was sloppy and uncoordinated. Party was grinning, too. They moved their fingers and Ghoul gasped into their mouth. It felt like he was whispering all the sounds he held back directly into them, so only Party would know.

They pulled back, looking down at him. They were sweaty and flushed, too, pupils blown wide in the shadowy room, so their eyes looked dark.

Slowly they pulled their fingers out of him.

Ghoul had his legs drawn up, digging into Party’s sides, so he could feel the scratchy denim of their jeans against his thighs.

“I, uh,” Party said and Ghoul giggled, reaching up to brush the hair from their face. It was rare to see them speechless. “You wanna, uh, you wanna have sex?”

Ghoul barked out a loud laugh, trying to pull Party down for another kiss, but he only reached their chin, their stubble scratchy against his lips.

“I always thought, y’know, always wanted to make someone feel good. Really wanna, uh, give it to you. But if you wanna, I mean, I’m curious ‘bout the other part, too. Do you have a … preference?”

“Whatcha prep me for if ya ain’t gonna fuck me?” Ghoul teased. 

Party lowered their gaze. “Just wanted to touch ya,” they muttered with a slight pout.

Ghoul felt something inside of him soften. “Well, ya already put in the work. Ya got anything that could work as lube?”

He cursed himself for not thinking about bringing any. After all, he had kind of hoped that this would finally happen today.

Party nodded eagerly. “I’ve got lube. It’s in the backpack.”

“Seriously?” Ghoul giggled. “Ya got lube in your runaway bag?”

Party sat up, allowing Ghoul to do the same.

“‘S at the bottom. With stuff I brought from the city.”

They turned, starting to undo their pants.

Ghoul pulled up the backpack, tossing aside the stuff on top: another bottle of water and some medical kits, painkillers and batteries. He could make out a piece of fabric at the bottom, the red cherries on black ground vaguely familiar.

“Ya brought the dress?” he asked surprised and looked up at Party, who was currently peeling the jeans off their thighs. They paused in their movements.

“Yeah, ‘s sentimental, I know.” They sounded apologetic. “Was the first time I let anyone see me though. First time I felt accepted.”

Ghoul nodded, because he didn’t know what to say. He felt a painful wave of tenderness, that was too big for words anyway.

He pushed the dress aside, catching a glimpse of a wrinkled photograph. The kid in it had to be Kobra; Party was older already and easier to recognise. They were quite chubby, smiling into the camera while leaning into a blonde woman, who had to be their mum. Ghoul decided to ask about it later.

He spotted the Bli label and pulled out a bottle of the good lube. Although it was a bit silly, he was grateful that Party had taken it from Bat City, since it was a lot more pleasant to use than the stuff they produced out here. He wanted to undo the lid when he realised that the label was still unbroken.

“Ya didn’t use any of it yet,” he observed and looked at Party, who was just done kicking their underwear off their ankles. They were sitting on the edge of the mattress in a weirdly hunched position as if to cover themself, although Ghoul knew that they usually didn’t have a problem with being looked at.

“Yeah, I, well.” Party scratched the back of their head. “When I say I hooked up with people … I didn’t do any … well, any penetrative stuff yet.”

Once more Ghoul was overwhelmed by a feeling that was both happy and sad. He could taste it at the back of his mouth.

“Okay,” he said.

“‘S probably stupid, but I always just wanted … I wanted it to mean something, yeah? Otherwise it’s just the same as with the Droids. And I’m not saying, y’know, that I’m expecting anything from you. But I know it will mean something, even if it’s just, y’know …”

Ghoul cut off their rambling by moving in and wrapping his arms around Party from behind.

“It means something,” he said firmly.

Party felt tense in his embrace. He placed a kiss on their freckled shoulder. He felt Party inhaling in his arms. 

“T’is difficult for ya, yeah?” he asked quietly after a short pause. He was leaning against Party, their skin sticking together. His own, long hair was sticking to his back with sweat, too.

“Yeah,” Party confirmed softly. “Don’t really know why. Especially receiving ‘s hard.”

“‘S cause ya always in control.” Ghoul kissed their neck. “‘S hard letting someone else take care of ya.”

He thought of Gerard’s trembling hands while unlocking the door to their secret closet, because they weren’t used to trusting people. He thought of Poison’s smiles, which were meant for everyone and let no one in.

“Ya can get the licensed product, if you prefer,” Party said, their tone light and cocky all of a sudden, straightening their back in Ghoul’s embrace to show off their body. They had switched to complete self-confidence within a second.

“No.” Ghoul kissed their neck again. “No masks, no products. Just you ‘n me.”

Party finally relaxed in his arms slightly. “Sorry,” they said.

Ghoul thought about the first time they’d met and how pushy they had been. He realised that if they’d gone through with it back then, it wouldn’t have been real, not only because of his lack of consent, but also because Party would have pretended to be someone they were not to go through with it at all.

Ghoul wanted to reassure them. He wanted to let them know that they could take their time, that he would be patient with them either way. He wanted to tell them how much they had grown on him and how much they meant to him by now. But if he tried to put all of that into words, he would never be able to stop, and still not manage to convey all of it anyway.

So he reached for Party’s hand, pulling back just far enough to place it on his chest, right above his heart and cupping it with his own. He held it there, allowing Party to feel his heartbeat. He wanted to let them know that it was theirs now. He trusted them with the very life that coursed through his veins.

“Okay,” Party whispered.

“Okay?” Ghoul made sure. He kissed Party’s neck again, more sensually this time, guiding them to lean back. They allowed it to happen, exposing more of their body.

Ghoul stroked down their side gently, feeling their ribs and the softness of their hips. He noticed the stretch marks close to their hip bones and on their thighs and he wanted to map them out with kisses, but he kept his touch light to not make Party grow self-conscious. Their legs were shaved.

“Come,” he whispered and moved back on the mattress, keeping his hand on Party’s shoulder to reassure them that they were still in this together.

They turned, following Ghoul and leaning over him again.

“I haven’t, uh, packed condoms though,” they pointed out.

Ghoul tried to not look amused. Out here in the Zones, they usually had to be either creative or optimistic.

“But I mean, I’ve never … worst case, I give you herpes.”

Ghoul laughed, but then smiled up at Party awkwardly. “Then it’s fine. Got a check up in Bat City to make sure I wouldn’t give ya anything, and I haven’t since then either.”

Party made a frustrated noise and shook their head. “That’s fucked. I’m so sorry.”

Ghoul shrugged. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He reached for the lube and popped open the lid.

“‘S okay if I …?”

Party nodded. Ghoul spread his legs to allow them to get closer while pouring lube into the palm of his hand. He made sure to use enough, since he was quite out of practice, but also not too much, because he really intended to make that bottle last.

He reached down between them, wrapping his slick hand around Party’s hard cock, stroking slowly. He’d only caught glimpses of their dick before and although he enjoyed the weight in his hand, he would have liked to get a better look this time.

Party tensed on top of him immediately, letting out little noises that sounded insanely hot, but also slightly troubled.

“That okay?” Ghoul made sure and waited for Party to nod again before he continued stroking them, not drawing it out, just making sure they were slicked in lube properly.

Then he let go, bringing up his legs to put them around Party’s waist loosely.

“Ya got this?” he asked.

It felt silly to ask and Party snorted as they reached down between them to line up their dick. A small line of concentration was showing at the root of their nose, as if they were frowning.

“Always thought when this finally happened, it’d be sexier somehow,” Party muttered, avoiding direct eye contact with Ghoul.

“‘S sexy,” Ghoul said and put his hand on their shoulder. “You’re sexy.”

It wasn’t heated and greedy, not the quick, dirty and rough sex of the Zones, but he still felt incredibly aroused. He felt aroused, because Party was so close to him, because he could feel their skin on his. He wanted to feel them so close, that he would melt right into them and no physical boundaries could separate them any longer.

He felt Party’s dick rubbing along the crack of his ass, pressing against his hole after a moment. He tried to stay relaxed, keeping his breath even.

Party finally met his eyes. “Is this gonna hurt you?” they asked in a small voice and bit their bottom lip. They sounded embarrassed to ask in the first place and it made Ghoul feel fond of them and incredibly proud, because they’d come such a long way.

“Just go slow. It’ll feel good for me.”

He felt Party pressing into him more firmly, but they were clearly still hesitant to use too much force. Ghoul stayed focused on his breathing, he could feel himself relaxing against Party.

“Come on,” he whispered and wrapped his legs around Party a little more tightly. They were supporting themself on their arm, so they were able to look down at him. They seemed tense and focused and then finally Ghoul felt himself opening up around them.

He felt incredibly stretched and that alone was amazing. He had forgotten how great this felt, how much he loved to be filled and how much he loved the slight burn that came with it at first. Party hadn’t even started fucking him yet and Ghoul’s dick was already leaking. They kept entering him slowly and he thought that maybe it would be enough to get him off already - just feeling them inside, just feeling them so close.

He stayed so quiet, that he was able to listen to Party’s ragged breath. His hand was still resting on their shoulder and he stroked down their back, feeling how slick with sweat their skin was. Finally, their hips connected to his ass, and they kept still, just breathing together for a moment.

“Kay?” Party whispered.

Ghoul nodded.

“Gonna make you feel good,” Party promised and Ghoul almost felt tempted to tease them, but then they started to move their hips and he moaned involuntarily.

The slide was slow, but very rhythmic. He had expected Party to be desperate, eager but clumsy, yet they kept moving their hips without faltering once. They kept their rhythm smooth, pulling out almost all the way before slamming back in, harder than Ghoul had expected, the initial sting gradually fading into a dull ache that actually felt good.

He gasped quietly, digging his fingers into Party’s back. He could feel the muscles shifting under his hand.

Party moved against him, a hand on his thigh rolling him back just a bit further to change the angle and during the next thrust, Ghoul could feel their dick dragging against his prostate. His eyes went wide and he let out a nearly voiceless scream. He tossed back his head, his long hair spread out behind him and caught beneath his back, so the tug on his scalp became painful whenever he moved too much.

He looked up, meeting Party’s gaze. They were still keeping their weight off him, staring down at him to not miss any of his reactions. They made sure to keep their angle steady, the impact of their thrusts never lessening. They were still going agonisingly slow, but Ghoul wanted it like this. He wanted this to last forever.

He gasped every time Party brushed his prostate, his jaw hanging slack. He would have felt embarrassed with anyone else, but he knew that Party wanted to see him like this, wanted to see him come undone, wanted to see him at his most vulnerable when that vulnerability contained no hurt or fear, just lust and pleasure and intimacy.

“You’re so beautiful, Ghoulie,” Party whispered. They were out of breath, and Ghoul saw a line on their forehead as if they were struggling to stay focused. Sweat dripped down from their face and onto his skin. The air inside the diner felt hot and humid. He could hear the smacking sound of flesh.

Party’s eyes were a piercing green in the dim light, entirely focused on Ghoul’s face, their eyeliner completely smudged by now. They weren’t moaning, just breathing heavily, never once speeding up to chase their own orgasm. They stayed focused on Ghoul as if bringing him pleasure was all that mattered.

Ghoul wanted to tell them how good he was feeling, he wanted to tell them that he loved them, again and again and again. He wanted to say their name, he wanted to scream and moan for them, but he only kept gasping and whimpering quietly, because he didn’t know which words to pick. He hoped Party could feel it, that they could feel his love everywhere they touched.

“Close,” he whispered, hoping that was enough to convey how much Party had him falling apart. He felt each slide against his prostate from head to toe, his dick was leaking onto his stomach. He was so hard, he could feel his pulse in his cock and yet he didn’t want this to end.

Party reached down between them, closing their hand around Ghoul’s aching dick. Their nails were always bitten down and colourful these days, but their fingers were still incredibly soft, city hands with moisturised skin. 

Ghoul moaned quietly and instinctively tried to thrust up into their fist, but he was caged in by their body, unable to move, forced to take exactly what they were giving him and no more.

Party stroked him slowly, matching the rhythm of their thrusts. Ghoul felt the pressure building up, nothing about this was rushed or sudden.

“Gonna,” he warned and then he was spurting all over Party’s hand and his own chest.

He allowed the orgasm to shake his body, arching his back, letting his eyes roll back in his head, gasping and clenching around Party. He stayed quiet, not putting on a show, but he wasn’t trying to hide any of it either. He felt like he was coming for Party, only to let them see, as if his pleasure was somehow a gift to them he wanted to share.

They let out a little groan that sounded weirdly troubled, as if they hadn’t been prepared for his reaction and Ghoul figured they were struggling to hold off.

He wrapped his legs around them tightly, pulling them down as far as possible.

“Ghoulie,” Party protested weakly, but he didn’t let up, silently reassuring them that it was alright by keeping them in place instead of allowing them to pull out.

They let out another choked noise and then he felt their cock throbbing, felt them tremble between his legs and spilling themself inside of him. He stared up at them, red hair plastered to their forehead and their neck, jaw gone slack. They were sweaty and flushed, and their eyes were blown wide, making them look almost surprised as the orgasm washed over them. Ghoul wanted to get them off again immediately, with his hands and his mouth, just to see that expression again.

“Fuck, Ghoulie,” they muttered, lowering themself. Ghoul felt sore and sticky and warm with afterglow. He kept his legs up until Party had grown completely soft inside him, only then did he let go.

He expected Party to collapse on top of him. They seemed exhausted and spent, but instead they got up on their knees, creating enough distance between them to look down at Ghoul’s flushed, sweaty body, panting and covered in his own cum.

“Fucking hell,” they said and then they leaned down, taking Ghoul completely by surprise.

They ran their tongue through the mix of sweat and cum on his stomach and he squealed before he started to giggle. He felt tired and Party’s tongue was warm and soft and they hummed against his skin.

“Gross,” he commented and Party grabbed his thigh, spreading his legs once more and then they were licking his hole again, their tongue slipping in easily now that he was loose and open. He felt sore and the sensation was a bit too much, but it also felt irritatingly nice and he moaned in between fits of laughter.

“Don’t do that, ya disgusting fuck,” he said, still giggling as he stared down at Party’s red shock of hair as they licked their own cum from his dripping hole.

They looked up and grinned at him, that typical, lop-sided grin that was both goofy and challenging and that Ghoul had fallen in love with before he’d even realised it.

“Always wanted to have nasty sex,” they said. “Y’know, with body fluids ‘n all. So fucking …” They pressed the side of their face against the inside of Ghoul’s thigh and inhaled deeply. “... human.”

Ghoul chuckled, but he felt very fond of them. “Yeah, ‘kay,” he muttered. He didn’t really care. He’d let them lick anything if it made them smile like that.

Party crawled up to him again and Ghoul didn’t even hesitate. He stretched himself to meet them for a deep kiss, parting his lips immediately to slip his tongue into Party’s mouth. They tasted of cum and sweat, salty and gross and he kept kissing them, because he just didn’t care.

He could feel Party smiling into the kiss.

“Was it good?” they asked against his lips as they caught their breath for a second.

Ghoul smirked. They didn’t sound insecure at all.

“Yeah,” he confirmed.

“Mh.” Party hummed against his lips as they kissed him again. Ghoul’s lips were starting to feel kind of numb, but he still hoped they would keep kissing until they had to go back to the shelter in the evening. “Better than with gas ‘n batteries?”

Ghoul laughed, but that didn’t keep him from kissing Party again. It was messy and his teeth were getting in the way, but it didn’t matter.

“Yeah. Ya got a bigger dick than him.” He reached up to run both hands through Party’s hair. He could never get enough of the bright red strands between his fingers, even if they felt oily and entangled. “‘N also I love ya more.”

Party hummed contently into his mouth again, finally letting themself roll to the side, pulling Ghoul with them, so they didn’t have to break their kiss. They laid facing each other, their legs entangled, their skin sticking together with drying sweat and cum and lube and it was gross and too hot and Ghoul loved feeling them this close anyway.

He lazily stroked Party’s side. They seemed to have a little less trouble with intimacy now, like their guard had finally come down. Neither of them moved to get dressed, they just held each other while staying naked, kissing until Ghoul’s lips started to prickle, swollen and numb and sore. His cheeks hurt from smiling, too.

“Mh, so sleepy,” Party mumbled and moved to kiss Ghoul’s jaw, resting their forehead against his shoulder for a moment.

He stroked the back of their neck, inhaling their smell of sweat and smoke and something else, something sweeter, almost like sugar. They rested against him for another moment, until he gently started to pry them off.

“I’m sticky,” he mumbled.

Party chuckled, but they allowed him to back off, rolling over to collapse on their stomach right next to him, so close that their upper arms were still touching.

Ghoul remained lying on his side, checking out Party’s sprawled out body. They had a slight sunburn on their shoulder blades, their back was relatively pale, except for a tanned stripe around their waist where their shirts must have ridden up. Their legs were tanned from wearing shorts, all the way up to the highest point of their thighs. Their ass was ghostly white, reminding Ghoul just how pale they’d been before leaving Bat City. It was also surprisingly full, round like a bubble and Ghoul kind of wanted to slap it just to see if his handprint would leave behind a red mark.

“Nice ass, Pois,” he commented and Party snorted, face half hidden behind their lower arm.

“Ya can fuck it, if ya wanna,” they offered.

“Might,” Ghoul said, resting his head on his arm. “Later.”

Party turned their head to look at him, smiling with a slow blink. They looked sleepy and Ghoul thought that this was nice: lying around naked and threatening to doze off. It wasn’t something that killjoys usually did, but out here in the middle of nowhere, it seemed relatively safe.

“Hope ya ain’t making empty promises, Ghoulie.”

“What ‘bout you? Ya meant what ya said? Ya really moving in here with us?” Ghoul asked and reached out to run his fingertips up Party’s arm. He stopped to circle the birthmark on their shoulder. Party let it happen, unguarded for once. 

“Yeah, ‘course.” They were slurring their words a little. It made Ghoul smile. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Thought …” Ghoul dropped his finger. “Don’t wanna hold ya back, y’know?” At the shelter, they could move things. What he wanted - and what he assumed Jet and Kobra wanted too - was something more domestic.

“Never had a home, y’know?” Party said. Their eyes looked smaller when they were sleepy, or maybe that was just what they looked like when they were finally relaxed. Ghoul thought that he’d never seen them stop moving for this long while being awake before. “Not one that felt like it anyway.”

Ghoul thought of all the years they had spent hiding inside their own house, especially during their years with Korse. He wanted to create a home for them, where they felt safe to be themself at least when no outsider was around. The shelter couldn’t possibly be that place, they were still performing there all the time. Ghoul couldn’t even begin to picture how tired they had to be.

“Think I’d like that,” they added softly. “If you’re sure, Ghoulie.”

Ghoul frowned. “Me?”

Party exhaled, blowing a strand of red hair from their face. “Yeah, don’t want to be a burden to ya. You’re not responsible for me just cause ya brought me out here, y’know? Don’t want ya to think that. I was scared at first, but I’ll be fine on my own. I know that now. So if ya don’t want me around or whatever, I’ll be alright.”

“Whatcha talking ‘bout, eh?” Ghoul poked their upper arm with his fingers. “Ya think I’d let just anyone do me like that?”

Party grinned, trying to hide it behind their arm. Ghoul saw the laugh lines around their eyes though.

“Wanna build a home with ya. Want ya to be my crew.”

The grin disappeared from Party’s face and they turned unexpectedly serious. “What exactly does that mean? I mean, I’m not stupid. I know ya form crews out here. Just … what exactly does it mean?”

There was a hint of insecurity in their voice that was probably difficult for them to let on.

“Means family,” Ghoul said plainly. “Want ya to be my family.”

“Okay.” Party turned their head again, looking straight ahead instead of meeting Ghoul’s eyes. “Just wanna make sure … maybe this is dumb, but like, I have zero fucking experience with this and … is it family like Jet’s your family? Is it like … siblings? Did we just do this to, y’know, get it out of the way? Cause you care about me and now it’s …”

“No,” Ghoul said quickly and leaned in to kiss their arm. Their skin felt cool and tasted salty. “Means whatever we want it to mean. Crewmates can fuck, if they wanna.” His eyes trailed down to Party’s ass again. “Can fuck like bunnies if they wanna.”

“Okay,” Party repeated and kicked their feet up into the air. “Then I really wanna be your fucking crewmate.”

Ghoul snorted. His face felt hot. It was embarrassing, but even now, Party still managed to get him flustered.

“‘Kay.” He settled back down comfortably again, their legs touching lightly. “Ya wanna … put a label on it or something?” He cringed inwardly at the question. He wasn’t usually one for words, he felt like words weren’t enough to describe how he felt about Party anyway, but he was one for clarity.

“Kinda tired of labels. I love you more than anyone. Except maybe Kobra,” Party said, indicating a tiny shrug. “And we’re gonna fuck like bunnies. That’s enough, I think.”

Ghoul licked his lips. “What if anyone asks?” He didn’t want to act possessive and he knew that Party might want to obtain their image as unattached for publicity reasons, but the thought of having to stand by while they lied about their relationship still hurt. He wasn’t built to keep such an important part of his life a secret.

“Oh, I’m gonna give the silliest answers.” Party put on their cocky radio voice. “What Fun Ghoul is to me? He’s the co-star in my best sex tapes, let me tell you that much. He really deserves his name, because he’s the most fun I’ve had since leaving Bat City. They’re gonna call you the First Lady of the Zones, honey.”

“Fuck you,” Ghoul said, but he was laughing. He wouldn’t really mind the nickname all that much.

“Imma make sure everyone knows they better ain’t gonna try to steal ya from me. Imma go full Scarecrow on them.”

“Don’t think ya need to worry ‘bout that.” Ghoul couldn’t help the insecurity sneaking into his voice. He’d never been much of a flirt and he didn’t doubt that Party would receive a lot more attention than him. It was something he would have to learn to accept. “Ain’t nobody else looking at me like you do.” He meant with desire, but he also meant with love.

Party smiled lazily. “Things will change. Gonna make sure of that.”

“Also.” Ghoul didn’t want to think too hard about how his association with Party Poison would impact the way people viewed him from now on, so he decided to change the topic. “For someone who claims to be clueless, ya pretty good at sex.”

Party giggled, a high pitched and brief little sound floating through the diner. “Ya didn’t expect me to be a good fuck, Ghoulie?”

Ghoul shrugged. “Thought it’d be different. Thought we’d have to start with the birds ‘n the bees with that city ed of yours.”

Party snorted against their arm. It sounded stupid, like the mixture between a laugh and a grunt. It wasn’t the kind of laughter that was meant to charm. Ghoul adored it.

“I’ve been with droids before, y’know? Got no clue ‘bout emotions, but I’ve got the pelvic thrusts down.”

Ghoul chuckled and reached out to stroke their shoulder. The mention of pelvic thrusts was putting images into his head. He let his eyes trail down Party’s naked backside again.

Party fell quiet. Ghoul thought about kissing down their back, all the way down to their ass; maybe even down to the sole of their feet.

“It might actually be better if I moved out here anyway,” Party said rather abruptly. Ghoul had assumed that they were drifting off to sleep because they’d been so uncharacteristically quiet, but apparently, they’d been busy thinking once again. “Adds an air of mystery. I’m way too fucking available at the shelter.”

Ghoul sighed. “Ya really thinking ‘bout that right now?” He felt slightly embarrassed, because what he’d been thinking about was the soft skin at the back of Party’s knees.

“Just thinking ‘bout the future. ‘Bout us.” To his surprise, Party didn’t sound apologetic. They sounded like they felt no need to hide their true colours from Ghoul.

“Ya don’t have to be the one to save us all, y’know that, right?” Ghoul said softly.

“Oh, I’m not gonna.” Party sounded surprisingly matter-of-factly. “I’m way too much of a controversial figure to unite the people. Won’t be able to shed my city skin entirely. Not everyone’s gonna like that.”

Ghoul frowned. “Then what’s the point of all this?”

“We’re playing the long game, honey.” Party looked smug, the way they always did when they were truly in their element. “Ain’t gonna be us. But we’ll have influence. Whoever I build up will run the Zones one day. All the power of Party Poison’s name, but none of the controversies. That’s the fucking point.”

“And ya need to figure out the rest of our life right now? How ‘bout ya relax a bit ‘n leave overthrowing the system for tomorrow? Or fucking hell, even the day after that.” Ghoul leaned in, feeling Party’s skin warm against his own. 

Party arched their back, raising their head. “Whatcha gonna do? Make me?” they teased.

“Just watch me,” Ghoul mumbled and leaned in far enough to kiss Party’s neck.

“Oh, ya gonna distract me?” they mocked and rolled onto their side to face Ghoul.

“Yeah.” Ghoul kissed them on the mouth, waiting for Party to part their lips. They kissed back slowly and gently, allowing Ghoul to lick over their chapped bottom lip.

“Think it’s working,” they mumbled. “Ya gonna keep doing that whenever I need a break? Cause I’ve got a lotta plans ‘n lotta thinking to do ‘n I really dunno if you’ve got that kind of stamina.”

For a moment, Ghoul considered arguing, because Party was clearly aiming at some friendly banter, but he figured that the most efficient way to shut them up was to kiss them again. He wouldn’t win against them otherwise, they had more words for everything than Ghoul. His way of expressing himself was through touch.

Party melted into the kiss, moving closer. They didn’t seem to mind that their bodies were pressed against each other, their skin warm but no longer feverishly hot, even though they were both still sticky.

They reached into Ghoul’s long, uncombed hair, cupping the back of his head to hold him in place as they kept kissing.

His lips were getting that numb, tingly feeling again, but he enjoyed it anyway, not in a rush to do anything but make out for a while.

He hesitated before even putting his hand on Party’s hip, pressing closer. Party started grinding their hips immediately. They were both hard again, Ghoul could feel the slide of their hard cock against his stomach and the friction created by their movements made him moan into their mouth. The slide was slick with sweat and Ghoul assumed that if they kept going, they could both come like this.

“Wanna fuck ya,” he muttered against Party’s jaw. He felt greedy, but he didn’t know how soon they would get a place entirely to themselves again. 

“I’d like that,” Party whispered.

Ghoul moved his hand from their hip down to their ass, giving it a squeeze. The flesh felt both soft and firm under his palm. Party lowered their head and let out something like a purr against his collarbone.

He didn’t just want to be inside of them, he wanted to hear every noise they made, wanted to watch them come undone. The sex just now had been great, but Party had stayed very much in control the entire time. Even their movements had been smooth and controlled. Ghoul wanted them to let go for once, to let someone else take care of them.

“Want ya to fall apart for me,” he murmured into Party’s ear, hoping they understood what he meant by it.

Party shivered against him.

“Can I …?” They broke off and pulled back slightly. “Can I ask for stuff?”

“Destroya, Pois,” Ghoul said and pulled back far enough to brush the hair from their face, cupping their cheek. “Can ask for whatever ya want.”

Party scrunched up their nose.

“Even if it’s weird,” Ghoul added. “Don’t care.”

They turned their head as if to hide their face in the mattress. Just briefly, Ghoul wondered if the insecurity was for show, another trick for Party to get what they wanted because they knew it would make him feel soft and affectionate. He pushed the thought away though. It didn’t matter if Party was trying to manipulate him. He’d give them whatever they wanted anyway.

“I know you prefer, like, looking at each other,” they mumbled. “But can ya fuck me from behind? Face down, all that?”

“Don’t tell me ya embarrassed,” Ghoul teased. “Know ya like being watched too much to buy that.”

Party let out a guttural sound he couldn’t read at all.

“Wanna feel filthy,” they confessed.

“Kay,” Ghoul agreed. 

“Ya sure?”

He snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure. Like looking at my partner to feel close to ‘em. But Imma feel close to ya anyway. ‘S not the position that matters, ‘s the person.”

He heard Party inhale.

“Anything else?” He could tell they weren’t done yet by the way they had stopped squirming against him.

“Can ya call me names?” they asked.

Ghoul stroked their cheek again. “Whaddaya want me to call ya, sweetheart?” he asked.

He caught Party’s smile, even though they were trying not to let it show. They looked affectionate, like he’d just said something silly that made them feel very fond of him.

“Not like that,” they said. “Like, degrading names? Want ya to call me, dunno, a whore and a faggot.”

“Party, you’re not …”

Party looked up, their expression stubborn. “Yes, I am. That’s the point.” They lowered their voice. “Want ya to call me all the things I was never allowed to be.”

Just for a moment, they sounded so fragile that Ghoul wanted to comfort them, he wanted to turn even more tender, but he understood that it wasn’t what Party wanted right now. Ghoul wasn’t going to judge. He would simply make sure that they got what they needed.

“Okay,” he said and put his forefinger under Party’s chin, tipping it up gently, so they couldn’t hide their face anymore. “Y’know I ain’t good with words, but Imma try. But if it stops feeling fun at some point, ya tell me, yeah? Imma stop right away.”

“Yes,” Party said and for a moment, Ghoul saw something flashing up behind their eyes that resembled submission, but without any hint of fear. It was trust and Ghoul’s heart seemed to climb right into his throat. He wondered if Party had ever given their trust to anyone before at all.

“Don’t move,” Ghoul ordered and rolled onto his back, reaching for the bottle of lube he had dropped earlier and popped open the lid. He poured a generous amount onto his fingers, because he wasn’t going to take any risks when it came to Party.

“Oi, don’t waste it,” they protested. “Only brought that one bottle.”

“I ain’t wasting it,” Ghoul said and rolled back onto his side to face Party. “I’m using it to make ya feel good.”

“Sap,” Party said and chuckled.

“Yeah,” Ghoul confirmed and pressed a short kiss to their lips. “I’m a sap for ya, deal.”

Party opened their mouth to say more, but Ghoul reached down already.

“Prop up ya knee,” he ordered. He wasn’t really the bossy type, but he was used to not wasting time. “Here.”

He guided Party to part their thighs, resting their knee on Ghoul’s hip, keeping their leg bent.

“‘S it, keep ‘em legs spread for me.”

He sensed Party shivering against him. He was grateful to realise he wouldn’t actually have to talk dirty, it was clearly enough to just state the obvious.

“‘S right,” he said and reached down between their spread legs. He could slide his slick fingers up between Party’s ass cheeks easily now. He had to feel his way around without being able to look, so their position wasn’t ideal, but it would allow him to keep kissing Party and he had the feeling that it would be easier for them to accept the touch if he kept them distracted.

He sensed the rim of their hole against his fingertip, aware that his fingers felt rough and calloused. Party lowered their head to hide their face against the crook of Ghoul’s neck.

“Ya done this before?” he whispered, not so much because the question seemed sexy to him, but because he wanted to know how slow he had to take things. “With a droid?”

“No,” Party mumbled against his skin, puffing out hot breath. “Only used my fingers before.”

Ghoul smirked and bit down on Party’s shoulder, just hard enough to hopefully leave a mark. He wanted to take part in the change their body was undergoing. He wanted his love for them to be visible.

Party gasped and shuddered, Ghoul was still teasing their rim, finally pushing in the first finger.

“Relax,” he whispered. Party’s body felt hot and tight and soft around his digit and the sensation went straight to his dick.

“Ya like that?” he asked and Party whimpered quietly, still hiding their face against Ghoul’s body. They were so close to each other, their thigh was resting on his hips, their hand was on his sweaty back, he could still feel them breathing.

He started moving his finger, flicking his wrist while keeping his arm steady.

“Asked ya a question, Pois,” he teased.

“Yeah,” they choked out breathlessly.

“Course ya do.” Ghoul turned his head to place a light kiss on their neck. Party’s hair tickled his cheek. “Ya lil’ fag.”

He said it affectionately, but Party still let out an obscene noise in response. Ghoul chuckled.

He rubbed his finger inside Party, feeling for that specific spot until they arched their back and let out a muffled outcry. They were trying to keep quiet, but couldn’t suppress their moans entirely.

Carefully, Ghoul added a second finger. Party was still incredibly tight, but if he caused them any discomfort, they didn’t let it show. Instead, they immediately pushed back against him, grinding down their hips until his calloused fingertips hit their prostate again. This time, they moaned shamelessly.

“Fucking yourself on my fingers now, ain’t ya? Ya such a slut, Pois.”

Party groaned and raised their head, practically crashing their mouth into Ghoul’s for a hard and bruising kiss. Ghoul hadn’t expected that kind of force at all and he lost his rhythm for a moment, panting into Party’s mouth.

He picked up the motions of his wrist again, Party still grinding down on his hand while they pushed their tongue into his mouth. The kiss was sloppy and Ghoul kept his eyes closed, feeling Party’s body hot and soft against himself. In a way, they were closer now than before when each of Party’s motions had still been controlled. Now there was something desperate in the bucking of their hips. Ghoul felt their hard dick brushing against his stomach every now and then, but they weren’t able to get close enough to gain serious friction if they wanted to keep their legs spread. They were whining into the kiss.

Ghoul pushed in a third digit and was barely met with any resistance. Party kept kissing him, but he turned his head, forcefully breaking the kiss, even though Party let out a frustrated little growl that was absolutely adorable, because it was the most genuinely annoyed Ghoul had ever heard them.

“T’is what ya wanted, isn’t it?” he asked breathlessly. “Can tell me all ya want that it’s ‘bout freedom ‘n changing the world. But three fingers up ya ass ‘n it shows who ya really are. Ya came out here cause ya wanted to fuck.”

Party’s fingers dug into his back and they made noises like an animal in heat. Ghoul wasn’t good with words, but he felt like he’d finally found the right buttons to push.

“Can fool anyone but me,” he whispered. “Ya ain’t a leader, ya a whore.”

Party’s thigh was squeezing him tightly as if they were trying to trap his hand between their legs, as if they needed more and more.

“Yes, fuck, Ghoulie, I’m a pathetic whore. I’m sorry.” The sound of their own voice seemed to get them even more worked up, because Party was turning extremely breathless fast.

“Don’t be sorry,” Ghoul whispered, more tenderly than he had intended.

He pulled out his fingers slowly, but Party hissed at the loss of contact anyway as if they’d been hurt.

Ghoul pushed against their leg, making them roll over onto their back, so he could look down on them. They were panting heavily, their chest rapidly rising and falling. They looked vulnerable, more so than before. They lowered their arms, for a moment allowing Ghoul to see the line of sweat forming between their breasts, the soft bulge of their belly, the stretchmarks on their hips. They stared up at Ghoul and they looked so unguarded, that it made them seem young.

Ghoul leaned down to kiss their jaw. He wasn’t sure if Party wanted him to stay in character, but he just couldn’t treat them cruelly.

“It’s hot,” he mumbled against their jaw. “Want ya to be a whore for me. ‘S okay to be needy. I love ya.”

He figured that this was what it was all about in the end - the inability to ask for things instead of bargaining for them, mixed with the shame of wanting something they’d been told was wrong all their life, until the shame and the arousal became inseparable. 

“Love ya, too,” Party whispered back, because even in the most inappropriate situation, they would never let it go unsaid.

“Gonna give ya what ya want,” Ghoul lowered his head to suck another hickey onto their neck. Party moaned, tilting back their head for him. There really was something slutty about the way they exposed themself, about how much they seemed to beg for his attention with their body. Ghoul loved them so much, it was becoming hard to breathe.

He raised his head again. He would have loved to get on top of them, slip in between their legs and fuck them on their back just like this, watching their face contort in pleasure, but even more than that, he wanted to give them everything they asked for.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen now,” he said. “Ya gonna roll over ‘n get on ya knees now, yeah? ‘N then ya gonna grab that cute lil’ butt ‘n spread yourself open for me, ‘kay?”

“Ghoul,” Party protested.

Ghoul pulled back far enough to see that they were flushing all the way down their chest.

“Ya ain’t gonna get it unless ya show me how much ya want it,” Ghoul carried on. He was starting to enjoy this. It wasn’t about humiliating Party, it was about peeling back all the layers they used to guard themself. “Gonna act like the lil’ slut you are if ya want me to fuck ya.”

Party groaned and their eyelids fluttered. They looked gorgeous, but for a moment, Ghoul feared that they would just slip back into a role if they thought that he wanted them to perform some kind of porn star act.

He reached up and took hold of Party’s chin gently, tilting their head until they were forced to look at him.

“‘N no pretend. Gotta be honest ‘bout what ya want,” he clarified. “Will ya be honest with me, sweetheart?”

Party’s eyelids fluttered again, but when they finally met his eyes, their gaze was clear, their pupils blown wide. “Yes,” they whispered.

Ghoul had never heard their voice this raw before and he worried that he might be asking too much of them. The air around them felt charged with the sheer intensity of whatever was happening between them right now. He was almost scared to break the spell he had seemingly managed to cast over Party.

He let go of their chin and moved back slowly, holding eye contact while allowing them space to move.

Party inhaled deeply a few times, their chest heaving again, then they rolled over, pulling up their legs to get onto their knees. They didn’t even try to support themself with their arms, just let themself fall forward, face pressed into the mattress as they pushed out their ass.

Ghoul swallowed so loudly, he wondered if Party could hear it.

They didn’t hesitate any further, just reached behind themself, placed their hands firmly on their ass cheeks and spread them apart.

For a moment, Ghoul didn’t even move, he just sat on the mattress next to Party, frozen in awe that someone as perfect and controlling as them would just expose themself like this, simply because he’d told them to. They didn’t even grow impatient, just knelt there, holding the position obediently. They were panting into the mattress though, flushed and sweaty and so aroused that it was a miracle they managed to stay still at all.

Ghoul carefully got up on his knees, which was still a little painful on his leg, but he ignored the brief pain. He moved to get behind Party, looking down on their pale, round ass and their exposed hole. The rim looked pink and swollen and wet from Ghoul fingering them open. 

“Destroya.” Ghoul placed his hand on Party’s hip lightly. Their dick was visible between their spread thighs, flushed dark and heavy. “Ya really want it.”

He leaned down, impulsively placing a few wet, sloppy kisses on Party’s lower back. They shuddered, clearly struggling to hold the position, but they didn’t lower their hands.

“You’re so hot, Pois,” he muttered and bit his lip, before another love confession should slip out. He really needed to get a fucking grip.

He straightened himself and grabbed the lube, starting to slick up his hard cock. The silence felt weird. It was uncommon for Party to stay so quiet and Ghoul felt like he was the one supposed to talk in this scenario, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Ask for it,” he said, jerking himself to spread the lube on his dick while staring down at Party’s waiting hole. He could see it fluttering, clenching and unclenching at the sound of his voice. He bit back a moan.

“Ghoulie, please,” Party whined, breathless and not smug at all.

Ghoul exhaled and pressed the head of his dick against Party’s ass, rubbing against their hole to tease them.

“Think ya can do better,” he said and grinned. He might not be one for talking, but he sure enjoyed listening to Party. “If ya want my cock, ya gotta ask for it.”

“Fuck you.” Party growled between gritted teeth, finally running out of patience.

Ghoul chuckled and moved back just slightly, although there was really no fucking way he was going to leave Party hanging at this point; he wanted them far too much.

“Ghoul, please.” Their voice immediately turned softer again, breathless and close to breaking. “Fuck me. Please, I want your cock. I wanna feel you close, please.”

The last sentence made Ghoul’s breath hitch, because it sounded more raw than he had expected. He had thought that Party was just talking themself into a sexual frenzy until they were convinced sex was really all they’d been looking for in the Zones. But even now, what they craved the most was simply a connection.

“Good,” Ghoul praised and went back to pressing his dick against Party’s entrance, this time with more intent. Very slowly, he felt them opening up. “Cause you’re what? Lemme hear ya say it.”

He figured that letting Party do most of the talking was the best way to avoid running out of words.

Party let out a guttural sound of frustration. “Cause I’m a cockhungry slut,” they said and Ghoul’s eyebrows shot up. He was glad that Party couldn’t see his surprised face right now, because that wasn’t quite the turn of phrase he had expected.

“‘S right,” he confirmed and finally pushed the head of his cock past the tight ring of muscle. He was panting, amazed by how tightly Party was squeezing him. 

Gently he brushed Party’s hands away, allowing them to lower their arms and taking hold of their hips to keep them stable. “I’ve gotcha now,” he said gently.

Party kept their face pressed into the mattress, but they fisted their hands into the blanket underneath them, holding on so desperately that their knuckles turned white.

Ghoul held on to their hips as he entered them slowly, extremely careful to not go too fast to avoid accidentally hurting Party. He stared down at them, the bright red hair that was screaming for attention, the muscles in their back, the freckles on their shoulders and the sunburn on their shoulder blades, their pale ass and the soft lovehandles of their hips. 

“Destroya, ya look so cheap right now,” Ghoul observed. His hips finally connected with Party’s ass, his dick buried inside of them as deep as it went in this position. They felt hot and perfect around him.

“Whatcha think? Ya fans would still respect ya if they saw ya like this?” He pulled back a little and slammed back in, a bit harder than he had intended. He knew that for Party, the thrust had to feel like they were being stretched open all over again.

They moaned and pushed back against him and Ghoul rubbed his thumbs over their hips soothingly.

“They’d all know how filthy ya are, if they saw ya fucking yourself on my cock like that.”

Party whimpered, pushing back harder.

“Ya like that idea?” Ghoul asked and slammed his hips into Party again. He was so caught up in the slide of his cock and Party’s tight heat, that he almost missed them frantically nodding their head, speechless aside from a few high-pitched moans.

“Fucking course ya do.” Ghoul was pretty sure that he had found the right angle, because Party was crying out with every one of his thrusts now. They were loud and obscene and so much sweeter than Ghoul could ever have imagined. He was starting to sound breathless as well.

“Everyone would lose their respect for ya. But they’d all get hard ‘n wet. Bet ya’d prefer that anyway. ‘S what all the attention really ‘s ‘bout, ain’t it? Fuck Bli, but that ain’t the reason why ya plastering ya face all over the Zones. Ya just want people to jack off to ya pretty face, huh? Bet that gets ya off.”

He wasn’t really sure where these words were coming from, but he could tell they were tainted by jealousy, and maybe by something else, too, by something dark and possessive. Knowing that everyone wanted them, but that they were here underneath him right now, moaning like they were falling apart, made him feel almost drunk on power.

“Picked the brightest colour for yourself too. Ya feel pretty with that fuck me hair of yours?”

He was completely out of breath now, barely able to keep up the impact of his thrusts at all.

Party didn’t talk back, they just kept moaning and panting into the mattress, their face hidden from view. Suddenly, Ghoul worried that he had taken things too far, that it sounded like he actually despised Party for the parts that craved attention, the parts that were filthy and needy, when he loved them just as much as every other part of them.

“Cause ya pretty,” he added and ran his hand from Party’s hip up their back, stroking every part of their body he could reach without stopping to pound into them. “So pretty. So perfect. Ya take it so well. You’re such a good fuck.”

He was rambling reassurances now, trying to keep it at least somewhat sexy. He wasn’t sure if Party was even still listening to him. They turned their face, so their voice wasn’t as muffled by the mattress anymore. Their voice was desperate and high, so much higher than the voice they’d used in Bat City and Ghoul couldn’t get enough of the sound.

“Fuck, Pois,” he panted. “Ya moan like a girl.”

He felt Party’s whole body clenching down on him at the words, their voice breaking and it should have been a turn on, but Ghoul just felt a wave of affection washing over him.

“That’s it, huh, princess?” he muttered. 

Party let out another choked noise and Ghoul couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted to be what Party needed him to be, he wanted to be the guy who pounded them face down into the mattress ruthlessly, but he couldn’t suppress the love in his chest that threatened to overflow.

He leaned down and snuck his hand under Party’s torso, wrapping his arm around their chest to pull them up.

He had almost expected Party to struggle, but they followed willingly, getting onto their knees, pressing their back into Ghoul.

The angle was awful to fuck into them; Ghoul’s thrusts were turning sloppy and shallow. But he was pressing his body into Party from behind, holding them close with his arm and it was only slightly awkward, because they were taller than him.

He buried his face against the nape of their neck, inhaling their smell while squeezing his eyes shut. For a moment, all he could sense was Party - their smell, sweat and hair dye, nicsticks and sugar, the feeling of their hot, sticky skin flush against himself, their little moans so close to his ear. For a moment, he was able to get lost in them.

Party reached back over their shoulder, grabbing a fistful of Ghoul’s hair. They were holding him down against their neck as if they also couldn’t bear to be apart, they clung to him, and the pull on his hair hurt, but Ghoul kind of liked the pain and he liked Party’s neediness he could feel in the touch.

He felt heat coiling between his hips and he pulled out of Party, keeping them close otherwise, his arm in front of their chest still holding them upright.

Party whined in protest, but Ghoul made a shushing noise against their neck.

He used his free hand to wrap it around his throbbing cock, stroking himself fast and mindlessly. The only two thoughts left in his mind were keeping Party close and getting off.

“Party,” he whispered against their skin. “Fuck, Party.”

Then he was already coming all over his hand, spurting against Party’s ass and thighs and for a moment, he blanked out completely, everything was white, hot and perfect, and Party’s hand never left his hair.

He kept them close even after he was completely spent, resting his forehead against their shoulder while trying to catch his breath.

Party stayed quiet, for once not demanding but perfectly patient and submissive. They only let go of Ghoul once he carefully pulled back, allowing them to fall forward onto their hands and knees, still flushed and desperate.

He picked up the edge of the blanket and wiped the back of Party’s thighs where his cum was trailing down their legs in thick stripes.

“Here,” he said and touched their hip, nudging them to roll over.

Party got onto their back, staring up at Ghoul wide-eyed. Their cock was flushed an angry red, leaking precum and they should have been begging to be touched at this point, but their expression looked almost scared, or at least clearly distraught.

Ghoul put his hand on their thigh, spreading their legs as gently as possible.

“Imma blow ya now, ‘kay?” he asked and made eye contact to ensure that Party caught his words.

“Kay.” Their voice was merely a whisper.

Ghoul lowered his head. He knew that this wouldn’t take long, given the state that Party was in.

He wrapped his mouth around Party’s dick carefully, the skin smooth and hot. It tasted salty, of precum, and he could feel the vein pulsing against his tongue. He bobbed his head a couple of times and Party made a small noise.

They had been moaning so loudly before, but now they were nearly quiet. Out of the corner of his eyes Ghoul could see that they had fisted their hands into the blanket again, desperately holding on as if they had to keep it together somehow.

He lowered his head further, swallowing around their dick and then he felt them throbbing already, spurting cum down his throat and he swallowed again. They moaned softly as they came, but their body only started relaxing once they were completely done.

Ghoul pulled off carefully, licking his lips and looking up at Party.

They had fallen back onto the mattress, lying perfectly still and tears were streaming down their temples silently, leaving behind black trails of eyeliner.

Ghoul crawled up to them until he was hovering directly above them.

“Hey,” he said gently.

He wasn’t especially surprised to find Party crying, he had practically been able to feel something coming undone inside of them.

He leaned down and kissed the tears from their temple. They were salty and hot.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, pulling back to look down at their face. “Ya know you’re hot shit. But wanted ya to know. That you’re beautiful. To me. Always.”

He wasn’t quite sure why it felt so important to him to clarify. Party knew they were attractive and they knew how to utilise their good looks. Ghoul just wanted them to know that he saw their beauty as something other than a weapon.

Party sniffled and managed a smile, but it looked shaky. Ghoul had expected them to calm down once it was over, but they kept crying silently, their eyes bloodshot and their lashes sticking together, the smudged makeup forming dark circles around their eyes.

“These good tears?” Ghoul asked and reached up to cup Party’s cheek, wiping the fresh tears from their temple with his thumb. “Or did I fuck up?”

Party shook their head. They didn’t look upset, but like they simply couldn’t stop crying.

“I’ve been so lonely, Ghoulie,” they whispered, their voice breaking once they reached his name.

Ghoul understood what they wanted to say. He had felt it too, from the moment he had pulled them up on their knees to hold them - he had felt so close to them, like they were almost one and it had reminded him of how lonely it could be inside his own skin. He couldn’t even imagine how much more intense it had to be for Party, who had spent years and years all alone in their own head without letting anyone in.

“I know,” he whispered. “But ya ain’t lonely anymore.” He leaned down, resting his forehead against Party’s. “Ya ain’t gonna be lonely anymore for as long as I breathe.”

He felt Party trembling against him and he held the position for a moment, just letting them cry, before he rolled onto his side, pulling Party along. He kept his hand on their cheek, arm draped across their shoulder, their legs entangled. 

“We’re gonna move out here,” he whispered, still stroking Party’s cheek with his thumb. He was assuring both of them. He wanted to picture a future for them, a future where he was finally able to give Party the life they deserved. “‘N you’re gonna be surrounded by people who love ya every single day. ‘N ya can be your annoying, smart-ass self, ‘n ya can be smug ‘n angry ‘n silly, and we’re still gonna love ya. Every single day. And Imma take care of ya, yeah? Imma make sure ya eat ‘n sleep ‘n smile. Ya gonna let me, yeah? You’re gonna come ‘n lead that kinda life with me.”

“Ghoulie,” Party said softly. “I’ll follow you wherever you go.”

Ghoul swallowed. “Ya ain’t much of a follower, Pois. You’re a leader.”

“I’m not sure I want to be. I mean, I can lead, but …” Party closed their eyes. They had stopped crying, but their lashes were still wet. “... I don’t know where to lead anyone. And I don’t trust myself to figure it out. Have so many plans, but half the time I don’t know right from wrong ‘n I don’t know if I can figure it out.”

They opened their eyes and Ghoul saw that they were tearing up again.

“I’m tired, Ghoulie. I’m so tired.”

Ghoul just nodded.

This was the kind of meltdown he had expected when they had first reached the Zones. He had thought that all the years of keeping up their guard and of always having to stay one step ahead would finally catch up with Party once they were safe. But they had kept running, building up new defences at the shelter, never once slowing down, because they couldn’t shake the fear that had been with them for so long. The first time they felt safe enough to let the exhaustion of a lifetime catch up with them was here in this run-down diner, lying naked in Ghoul’s arms.

“‘S alright,” he whispered, still holding them close. “Ya don’t have to figure it out by yourself. You lead the people, but the four of us decide together where to go. Ya don’t have to do it alone anymore, none of it, never again.” He smiled. “You’ve got a crew now, Party Poison.”