Chapter Text
Abraxas had come to a realization. Suppose AFTG was a book in his universe, but a reality in this one. His life could also be a book in another reality. It wasn't as startling a revelation as one would think. If anything, he was rather pissed about it. He would like to give the author a very big fuck you for making him insomniac.
Besides the life-altering discovery, alarms rang through the dorm. He was surprised his roommates bothered to sleep, knowing they wouldn't be getting a full night. Instead, he had decided to catch up on his schoolwork and prepare a bag with snacks for himself on the journey.
He changed into something a bit warmer for the chilly night, opting for a dark red hoodie and denim jeans. He wanted to look good even though he wasn't sure if he was going to make an appearance or not. The hoodie was a tight fit, emphasizing both his shoulder and his waist. The denim jeans enunciating his legs. People in the audience will still see him after all, even if it's not on stage.
He quickly muses up his hair and finishes his sweet cup of cold tea in one go before coming out of his room. His bag was carried on one shoulder. Neil was opening the door; his eyes squinted at Wymack.
“Hey Coach,” he greets brightly.
Wymack's eyes flicker at him, eyebrows raising. “Didn't you get some fucking sleep?”
Abraxas shrugs as Neil turns to stare at him, his posture ready to go on a lecture about how important sleep is for athletes. “It's for the weak,” Abraxas retorts with a snort.
Wymack sighs before looking at Neil.
"Stop yawning and get moving," Wymack said, clapping his hands in Neil's face. "We're on a schedule. I want everyone on the bus at five."
Neil shut the door in his face and went to get dressed.
Neil squints his eyes at Abraxas briefly and then shakes his head. He probably thinks cussing him out wasn't worth the energy of waking up. “Want me to quickly make your coffee?” He asked the poor boy. Neil stops yawning as he nods.
“Okay,” Abraxas said, heading towards the kitchen. “Get ready soon.”
Neil changes out in what feels like seconds. Thankfully, Abraxas had practice making quick coffee and was pouring it down at the thermo bottle for Neil. He eyes Neil briefly taking in his hastily chosen outfit and smiles. He looked cute. Abraxas bites the inside of his mouth and focuses on his task. He tightened the cap of the bottle, giving it to Neil. “Here you go, Court.”
The nickname didn't escape Neil. But he doesn't say anything about it; a furrow of his eyebrows is his only reaction. He knows Abraxas doesn't say it mockingly but means it with his heart, but accepting the fact would be too much for Neil. Abraxas gets it, but it doesn't mean he isn't going to let Neil know what he's worthy of every single time he can get.
“Thank you,” he gorges out. Seth and Matt step out, and Matt makes an inhumane sound as he looks at Abraxas wide awake form. “You're not human,” he states.
Abraxas rolls his eyes. Another bang on their door has them setting out in the hallway without another word. Renee gives them a tired smile and half-waves in greeting. Dan stumbled over to Matt, loops her arms around his neck, and falls asleep against him almost immediately.
Andrew's group was the last to show. “Hey, Nicky,” he greets, and says, “Good morning,” to the Foxes with the brightest smile he could to tease them about the half-sleep state. Nicky groans, looking at him. “Of course, you look all fresh and delectable.” Nicky adds, “Teach me this sorcery.”
Abraxas chuckles, “Just good old insomnia.” ‘ Again, dear writer, fuck you,’ he thought.
Wymack pointed at Kevin. "How the hell did they wake you up?"
"They didn't let me sleep." Kevin sent Andrew a sour look, but Andrew ignored him.
"Smart," Wymack said, and he waved them toward the stairs. "Let's go.”
Abraxas had taken his phone out, trying to take a good selfie to send to Connor. His focus is trying to get a good, still, photo while walking down. He doesn't even realize he's going to miss a step until Andrew grips his arm, pulling him back before he can trip. “Careful,” his voice was void of emotion as the grip on his hand tightened, helping him to keep his balance as he was startled. “Wouldn't want your brain splattered on the walls.”
“Yeah,” Abraxas huffs out. “Thank you, Andrew.” Andrew lets go of his arm, walking past him, Kevin and Aaron following. “Who were you taking a photo for?” Nicky questions, his arm slinging around Abraxas' shoulder as he grins at him. “Connor,” Abraxas reveals, “has a good fashion sense, so I just wanted to show him, I guess.”
“You try to impress him a lot,” Nicky observed.
“What?” Abraxas questions, “How?”
Abraxas is genuinely, utterly confused about how Nicky jumped to his conclusions. Nicky hums, “You send photos of everything to him. You text him about anything that feels like an accomplishment to you. You call him to say the randomest things.”
“I don't think I'm doing that,” Abraxas said, his tone defensive.
“It's not a bad thing,” Nicky says. “You having a crush is cute. I just don't want him breaking your heart. Abraxas, you seem like the guy to fall hard, too hard.”
“‘I am not,” he retorted.
But Nicky wasn't wrong. He texted Connor all the time. Any chance he got during his free time. He sent him pictures of the randomest things. His notes, his food, a flower growing on the sidewalk, himself. It was like offering shiny pebbles to a bird and asking for attention in return. And he got in full force. Connor replied quickly and didn't seem bored of Abraxas no matter what the topic was, no matter how illogical, stupid, and tiring he could get. Connor took it in stride.
Abraxas was always trying to reply and keep the conversation going as much as he could. Even after practice had just finished. He barely took off his gloves before he typed the reply back to Connor. Neil used to frown at him when he noticed his actions, shaking his head. He always seems to have subtle disapproval waving off him when he sees Abraxas paying any attention to Connor. Abraxas doesn't get why. Neil hasn't even met the guy, but he doesn't bring it up either.
Abby was out back by the team bus. It was Abraxa's first time seeing the bus since it was usually locked in a gated compound to prevent vandalism. It was painted to match the stadium, with orange trim, and paw prints against a white background. On the inside, instead of the traditional two rows, the bus had only one, weird. The cushions were big enough to comfortably seat two athletes or let one curl up and nap.
Andrew led his group to the back. Abby took the first row. Matt and Dan went in behind her, and Renee sat alone behind them. Neil left an empty row between Renee and himself. Abraxas wonders if he should sit beside Neil but hesitates. Neil eyes him as if waiting for him to sit down, like it's only natural he would do so. Neil sighs. Realizing he's waiting for permission, he says, “I have coffee.”
That was enough of a confirmation to have Abraxas sitting down with him. “And I have downloaded a few games,” he whispered to Neil, not wanting to gain Kevin's attention. “I also have snacks,” he grins, setting his bag on his lap before taking out his phone and headphones.
A notification pops up on his screen, glaring at him. A message from Connor, ‘Looking good.’ He could feel Neil waiting for him to reply and start a conversation with him instead, but he simply swipes the notification away. He could text a thank you back later. “Let's get on with it,” he whispered to Neil, his eyes shining.
They spend hours like that. Abraxas and Neil whisper to each other comments on the plays while finishing several packets of biscuits, chips and drinks. 6 a.m. trickled soon, the time passing by, neither seeming to notice as Neil finished his coffee and Abraxas had too much energy from what he knew was going to happen to get some damn sleep.
Wymack stopped at the next fast food joint he passed. Abby and Renee went inside to buy the team's breakfast and coffee. As soon as they left, Wymack stood in the aisle to face his team.
Wymack stood in the aisle to face his team.
"All right," he said, then promptly forgot what he was saying when he got a good look at the back of the bus. "Damn it all to hell. Hemmick! You were supposed to wake them up ten miles ago."
"I don't want to die," Nicky said.
Dan tried to pass her laugh off as a cough. Wymack wasn't fooled, and the look he shot at her as he stomped to the back of the bus was annoyed. Dan was undeterred and grinned at Renee.
“You,” he said, looking at Abraxas, “wake him up.”
“Okay,” Abraxas easily agrees.
He goes to the back of the bus. Nicky covers his ears with his hands and waits for Abraxas to do his old magic trick. He plays the siren on his phone loudly, flinching at the sound. Andrew wakes up, as he always does, violently. But Abraxas had noticed the reaction wasn't as extreme as it was in the books as if he was getting used to the sound of the tune and recognizing it as safe.
Kevin somehow was able to doze off during the ringing. He pressed the audio to stop and gestured at Kevin. “I don't know what to do about this fucker,” he said bluntly to Wymack. “Move,” Wymack grunted. Abraxas goes sideways, giving the space he needs.
He planted his shoe against whatever part of Kevin was closest and started pushing him.
"Up," he said over and over, getting louder each time until he was almost shouting. "Get your ass up and moving!"
Kevin's hand darted into view as he tried to shove Wymack away. Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled Kevin out of his chair into the aisle. Before Kevin could fall over, Wymack pushed him back, dropping him heavily onto his cushion. Kevin slumped against the back of his chair immediately, looking for all intents and purposes like he'd nod right back off. Wymack smacked the back of his head to wake him up.
"I hate you," Kevin said with feeling.
"Breaking news: I don't care. This was your brilliant idea."
Andrew leaned to one side to rest against his window and looked out at the parking lot. "Are we there yet?"
"Close enough," Wymack said. "You know what to do."
Andrew didn't answer, but Wymack didn't push it. He was distracted by Kevin, who was already drifting off again. Wymack gave his shoulder a rough shake. Kevin slept through it, so finally, Wymack dragged him out of his chair and sent him on laps up and down the length of the bus.
"Morning, sunshine," Matt said with exaggerated cheer.
"Fuck you," Kevin said.
Dan yawned into her hand. "Glad to see you're still a morning person."
"Fuck you too.”
“You're the brightest ray of light," Abraxas said with the biggest shit-eating grin he could muster.
“And fuck you more.”
“As if I would let you,” Abraxas mumbles as he returns to his seat beside Neil. His head is on Neil's shoulder as a half-groan, half-yawn escapes him. He squirms a bit to get comfortable in his seat before saying, “What if I tell you I am getting sleepy now?”
Wymack replied before Neil could.
“I'll throw hot coffee at your face. Don't try me, Abraxas.”
"Yes, Coach,” he shouts out. Kevin turned to the driver's seat and headed to the back of the bus. He tried to sit down again, but Wymack turned him around with a hand on his shoulder. Kevin got the hint and kept making laps. Walking kept him awake, but just barely. He looked half asleep every time he passed Neil's seat.
"Kevin," Andrew said, moving for the first time since he'd slumped against the window.
Kevin was only halfway through his lap, but he pivoted at the sound of his name and went back. Wymack moved out of the way so Kevin could get to Andrew's seat. Kevin dug Andrew's medicine out of his pocket and handed the bottle over. He and Wymack watched as Andrew tipped a pill into his hand and swallowed it dry.
Abby and Renee returned a minute later with bags of food and trays of drinks. The Foxes munched on sausage biscuits and Dan's promised doughnuts. The coffee helped wake them up, as did the reminder they were about to meet one of the highest-rated talk show hosts in the nation.
Neil opted to have another cup but didn't eat breakfast. His stomach is full because of how Abraxas kept handing over packets of chips to Neil during the journey. Abraxas decided to eat a burger; his body was somehow still hungry. He hums loudly as he takes a bite, thanking Renee for getting this for him instead of sausage biscuits. There were extra chilies in the burger, and that made it taste so much better, filling a craving in Abraxas’s belly.
He tries one bite of the donut. He shudders in disgust because of the sweetness coating his tongue. He silently passes the donut to Nicky.
It was fifteen more minutes to the two-story building that housed Kathy Ferdinand's daily show. Wymack parked by the security gate and got out to talk to the guard. Neil watched out the window as he and the guard checked IDs and paperwork. Wymack was back a couple of minutes later with a parking tag and a pile of guest badges. The gate squealed as it opened, and Wymack drove them to the employee parking lot.
Wymack was the first off. He stood to one side of the door and handed out badges as the foxes passed. Abby followed them out and locked the bus doors behind her. They were halfway to the building when Kathy herself came into the parking lot to greet them. She looked more awake than even Wymack did.
Abraxas was sure it was because she was used to her job, but he sincerely hoped she gets the amount of sleep she needs.
"Kevin," Kathy said, reaching for him. "It's been so long. I'm so glad you could make it today."
"It's good to see you again," Kevin said, and he smiled as he took her hand.
Abraxas wanted to gag as he saw the professional, practiced, easy smile on his face. It looked pretty, no doubt about it but Kevin's real smile suits him much more. In the four long months he'd known Kevin, he'd seen Kevin smile only once or twice before. Kevin's smile was a brittle and bitter thing. But it was Kevin's; seeing his public persona just seemed wrong to Abraxas; it made him feel out of place.
Kathy turned her smile on the rest of the team. The morning sunshine glinted off perfect white teeth. "You were amazing last night. Kevin, you have the magic touch. This team has been doing so much better since you transferred.”
"They were already on their way up," Kevin said. This was perhaps the first ever positive thing he had heard come out of Kevin's mouth. He hates that he didn't decide to secretly record the moment.
"They deserve their Class I status. This year will prove it."
"Brilliant," Kathy said, distracted. She'd just spotted Neil. The look in her eyes was hungry.
"Neil Josten, good morning. I suppose you've already heard the good news? As of eleven o'clock last night, your name is the third-highest search string for NCAA Exy strikers. That puts you right after Riko and Kevin. How does it feel?”
And then she turns to Abraxas. This time her eyes were hungry, but it wasn't because she saw an opportunity to raise her ratings. Abraxas remembers what Riko had to do to get that damn glass. He suddenly feels dirty; he feels like he shouldn't have dressed as he did.
He wanted to hide behind Kevin, Andrew, or anyone to avoid the way she looked at him. It was wrong; it was horrible and so fucking obvious to him, but he wasn't sure if others would notice it. It reminded him of—Neil notices, stopping his thoughts as he steps in front of him, shielding him from her even if he's taller than him.
“And you must be Abraxas,” she lets out, slowly saying his name with a snake-like smile. “You're the fourth highest search. The risky play at the game you made paid off.”
Abraxas shrugs, trying to play it off. He smiled to be polite, “Thank you, ma'am. I am glad it went the way it did.”
“You certainly caught people's attention,” she chuckled. “And you have good manners too. Call me Kathy.”
“Oh, that would be too disrespectful for me to do that for someone so much older than me.”
The split-second glare of Kevin's was worth seeing the smile falling off her face. Dan and Matt tried to contain their laughter, their shoulders shaking with it. Kathy ignored it, turning to Kevin again, "Did you talk to them?”
"About what?" Neil asked.
"I want you three on my show this morning," Kathy said.
"Everyone wants to know who you are," Kathy said, spreading her hands in a grand gesture. "You're a mystery addition to the Fox Line, a rookie out of a tiny town in Arizona. Coach Hernandez says you picked Exy up in a year by reading a guidebook and showing up to practice. Kevin says you're going to sign with the US Court after graduation. Such ambitions and dreams from such a humble beginning, don't you think? It's time for your debut.”
“As for him, the goal alone was such a brilliant play. Something, if we search up with his previous stats, doesn't match. The sudden improvement you had in such short months—everyone is so curious about you; you both need to be on the show. Rumor has it you were a last-minute pick; you certainly have something to be able to achieve that.”
"No," Neil said. It was her turn to stare at him. Neil shook his head. "No. I'm not interested."
Her smile twitched a little. She reached out as if to pat his shoulder, but Neil backed out of her reach. Abby gestured at him, silently warning him to watch his manners. Neil ignored her.
"Don't be shy," Kathy said. "If you can play in front of fifty thousand fans in a game ESPN2 picked up and broadcast live, you can sit on my stage for ten minutes. This is the easy part. I'm just going to ask a couple of questions about why you started playing and where you hope to go from here, that sort of thing. It's all written down so you can think about your responses before you step onto the stage. Your fans deserve answers from you."
"I don't have fans, and they don't want my answers," Neil said.
"Be smart, Neil." She spoke with the air of one who'd seen far more of the world than a simple teenager had. Neil wanted to hit her for it. "You can't spend this season running from the press when you're playing with Kevin Day."
"I said no."
Impatience finally worked its way into her expression. "You're not looking at the big picture. This year can make the world for you. If you want to get anywhere, you need our help. Everything has fallen so perfectly into place for you. Don't let it collapse so early in the game, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Kevin, you understand, don't you?"
"He'll do it," Kevin said.
"It's not your decision," Neil said in venomous French. “Neil,” Abraxas said; also in French, he replied, “I'll be there with you. It's going to be fine.” Neil turns to Abraxas, “It's not his decision—it's nobody's.”
“There's no way to avoid this,” he said, his voice turning soft like cotton. “If it was, I would do the same, but..." He looks at Kevin. “Do you think he will let either of us stay if we don't?”
“I wouldn't,” Kevin replied easily, without taking a beat to think about it. "You will do this today, or you and I are finished. I will wash my hands of you on the court, and you can struggle your way through mediocrity alone. You can return your court keys to Coach when we get back to campus. You won't need them anymore.”
“This isn't fair.” Neil chokes out.
Abraxas couldn't take it anymore, seeing Neil like this, knowing what his thoughts were during this scene. It was ripping his heart apart. He wanted to reach forward and wrap his arms around him. Keep him in his warmth and whisper sorry for the cruelty he has to and have to face to survive, but the most he could do was this. His hand reached forward, his fingers intertwining with Neil's, and he squeezed it hard. “When has life ever been fair to us?” He questions with a sad smile. “It's going to be over as soon as it begins, Court, I promise.”
It's the nickname Abraxas realized that changed his mind in the end. He could see him resign when Abraxas called him Court. It was the remainder of his dream and of his worth. This was a small sacrifice to pay; Neil would always trade his life away for a single day on the court.
Neil squeezed his hand so hard he was sure the fingers would pop right off when he would let go. “I'll do it,” Neil said in English, turning back to Kathy and Kevin, but his stance was defiant and his eyes were filled with fire. Abraxas shakes his hand in the air, making sure his fingers are still attached to him. Surprisingly it was, but he mildly thinks how amusing it would have been if it fell right off; maybe Neil could have escaped this because of it; maybe Abraxas could have finally been of help.
Kathy's smile returned immediately. "Brilliant.”
She motioned for them to follow and led the way toward the building. Abraxas couldn't focus on what was happening in front of him. All was a blur of limbs and lights and of people. He wanted to tear off his face and be someone else, someone more confident and charming to get through this. He knew what was going to happen. He knew even if he went on his knees and cried and begged Neil to shut his mouth before the show, he wouldn't. His words were the only way he could fight. It was his knife; Abraxas couldn't take that away from Neil.
Kathy handed them off to a couple of aides. One man read a list of rules regarding appropriate studio behavior. The Foxes went one way to find their seats, and they were led another way. They went down a hall and around a corner to a dressing room. Their escort took a couple of quick measurements of their bodies and disappeared.
The dressing room was one single room with a wall with just a vanity lined with mirrors and lights. Six stools were pulled up against the counter. An empty clothes rack stood in the middle of the room. The aide returned to drop off clothes, promised the makeup artists would be by in ten minutes, and left again.
Abraxas hands an outfit over to Neil. He sees Neil trying to make himself smaller, his arms over his chest. It made Abraxas ache with sorrow. He takes off his jacket. Neil was on the other side of the rack, and Abraxas placed his hoodie on it, spreading it as much as he could, trying to make a makeshift curtain without a word.
“I don't care about his scars,” Kevin snorts.
“And I don't care about you,” Abraxas replied. He turns to Kevin. “So would you mind shutting the fuck up?” Kevin glares at him, and he's ready to snarl out a reply but stops when he sees Abraxas stare long and hard at his outfit.
It was a navy blue suit. “What's wrong now?” Kevin snarls. “Nothing,” Abraxas said quietly, too quiet for it to be normal. He takes the black shirt given to him and starts dressing up. “The last time I wore a suit was at my parent's funeral,” he muses, “and now I am here.” He begins to do the buttons one by one. Before taking the suit and wearing it. He pulls the lapels of his suit, looking into the mirror.
He could see himself getting back to a year ago. He looks away to avoid meeting his eyes. It's too similar. It makes him feel mad, ready to snap at anyone, just like at the funeral, it felt like it was all on purpose. He was more furious about his parents daring to leave him all alone and then upset about the fact they were gone forever.
But he has to be in control. Let go of the anger forming underneath his skin, ready to jump out. He has to be gentle and caring, sunshine and rainbows for his plan to work. The image he has to set for today will put everything on the line. The plan he has decided to follow through to help and take at least a bit of attention from Neil relied on it.
“I am going,” Abraxas announced, not looking at Neil as he made his way past him and shut the door. His arms are crossed in front of his chest, and he waits, leaning on the wall waiting for the makeup artist. When they arrive, Abraxas is ushered in again, the tension clear in the air between all three of them. It will be over before it begins. He's a liar. It lasted for a past eternity; he wished Neil wouldn't hate him for it.
When the two were ready, they were escorted to a lounge to wait. A widescreen TV showed the stage, which was currently empty. Abraxas checked the clock on the wall and saw they were ten minutes out. He passed the time looking at the questions laid out for him. Most of them were basic—the same sorts of questions his teammates had asked him at the beginning of summer. Neil glanced at him as if waiting for Abraxas to say a word, but when he didn't, he looked back at his sheet of questions.
An aide came to collect Kevin when it was almost time for the show to start. Abraxas watched him leave, then looked back at the TV. At seven on the dot, the show's opening music started, and Kathy waltzed onto the stage to applause. She stopped in the center to bow and wave at her morning crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen, good morning! I know it's a little early for most of us to be awake on a Saturday morning, but we've got a fantastic show in store for you today. Our musical guests are the four extremely talented men from the up-and-coming Hobgoblin's Thunder." She paused for the resulting cheers. "But let's start the morning with last night and the start of the NCAA Exy season!"
This drew even louder cheers. Kathy beamed as she slowly paced the front of her stage. "How many of you had a chance to go to a game last night? Oh, wow! How many, like me, watched the game from the comfort of your own home?" She raised her hand and laughed at whatever response she got from the crowd. "Some of you are probably already taking bets on the season's rankings and spring contenders. Right? This year has the potential to be the greatest college season we've seen yet. Think of all the changes and all the amazing possibilities. We're going to talk a little about that today, but to do that, I'm going to need a couple of special guests.
"It's been a year since you last saw him here and nearly nine months since his last public appearance. I present to you our first guest of the day: former starting striker for the US Court, the Baltimore Wildcats, and the Edgar Allan Ravens, current starting striker for the Palmetto State University Foxes, Kevin Day!"
She almost didn't make it through her introduction. At "nine months," the bigger Exy fans in the crowd caught on, and halfway through his titles, the entire audience was cheering. The camera followed Kevin as he stepped out of the wings onto the stage. With the studio's expensive clothes on and his smile in place, Kevin looked every inch the adored idol Kathy was selling him. He took her hand as he reached half-stage, leaned in to kiss her cheek, and turned with her to face the crowd. Kathy threw her hands up, a million-watt smile on her face, and Kevin waved hello to the audience.
It was an endless minute before the crowd calmed down, and by then Kathy had retreated behind her desk. There were two couches on stage with her, one to either side of her desk. Kevin sat on the one to her right, half-turned so he could see both Kathy and the audience. Kathy leaned over her desk to smile at Kevin, looking impossibly pleased with herself. Neil guessed she was already imagining her ratings.
“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin," Kathy said, shaking her head in time to his name. "I still can't believe I talked you into this. I hope you'll forgive me when I say it's surreal to see you back here alone! I still think of you as one half of a whole."
"At least I have room to stretch out now," Kevin said, neatly avoiding a real answer. "I might have to do so in a minute. I can't believe you expect us to be awake and presentable after last night's games."
She laughed and lifted her hands. "I suppose you're right. But you clean up nice, as always."
Someone in the audience cheered in approval, and Kevin laughed. "Thank you.”
Kathy poured them both water and set a glass down on the edge of her desk where he could reach it. "So let's talk about last night. First, what does it mean that the NCAA season started and you're wearing orange? Please don't take offense to this, as I mean no slight against your new team, but why did you transfer to Palmetto State? I understand you came as an assistant coach, but once you knew you could play again, why sign with the Foxes? I'm sure you had choices. Why would you go from the top of the ladder to the bottom?"
"Coach Wymack was friends with my mother. As I'm sure you know, she taught him how to play. Even after she died and Coach Moriyama took me in, Coach Wymack kept in touch with me." Kevin studied his left hand with a removed look on his face. "Last December, I thought I would never play again. I was a wreck. Coach Wymack was the only one I could think of turning to, and he didn't disappoint me. He and his team took me in without hesitation. I enjoy working with them."
Kathy reached across the desk and clasped his left hand. Kevin forced his gaze up from his scars to her face and smiled. Kathy smiled back at him and said, "I admit I expected you to return to Edgar Allan this fall. Regardless of where you are, it's amazing to see you back in action. You deserve a round of applause for that."
The audience was happy to oblige.
Kathy squeezed Kevin's hand and let go. "Kind of unfortunate that your first game back was against Breckenridge, isn't it? You took three points last night, fifth-year senior Seth Gordon bagged two, and your newest teammate scored two, and another did a daring play-scoring one. Let's talk about Neil Josten and Abraxas Smith for a moment, shall we?”
"Of course."
"You know how to upset things around here, don't you?" Kathy said. "What were you thinking, recruiting someone as fresh as Neil?"
"Neil is exactly what the Foxes need right now," Kevin said. "His inexperience is inconsequential. We went through a hundred files looking for a striker sub for this year, but Neil is the only one we approached. We knew as soon as we saw him we needed to sign him. We're just lucky we got there before anyone else did."
“As for Abraxas, he's a refreshing player, a potential that can be forged and molded to what Foxes require. A hidden gem you could say, finding him alongside Neil was great luck.”
Abraxas blinks as he hears his words through the screen. “He's way too good of a liar,” he mutters, his feet tapping away against the floor. He straightens up, readying himself. Practicing a quick smile for the crowd. He could do this. He could do this.
"You went to great lengths to get them, I hear," Kathy said. "Refusing to even give the ERC their names, is that right?"
"Our primary concern was keeping Neil and Abraxas safe," Kevin said. "Spring was very difficult for Palmetto State. Announcing them as ours would put a target sign on their back. The ERC was initially hesitant to fly blind on them, but they eventually sided with us."
"You didn't think the ERC could keep the secret?”
Kevin didn't answer that immediately, likely figuring out the most tactful way to respond. "Let me put it this way: 'Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.' I mean, no offense by that, but let's be honest. Sixteen people are assigned to the ERC, and one of them is the coach of a fiercely competitive team. Even gossip shared in confidence can get out and destroy a man's life."
"So much work and effort for them," Kathy said. "I can't wait to see what the future holds.”
The lounge door opened, and an assistant leaned to motion at them. "One minute. It's time to move.” They got up and followed the aide down the hall to the wings of the stage. A woman waiting for them had a radio linked to Kathy's earbud. She looked them over, checked their appearance, and sent Kathy an okay.
"Why don't we all take another look at them?" Kathy said. "Let's see the men who replaced Riko Moriyama and Jean Moreau at Kevin's side. Introducing Neil Josten and Abraxas Ajay Smith, the newest Palmetto Foxes!”
He bites his tongue, nearly cutting the poor thing when he hears Kathy's pronunciation of Ajay. ‘ She’s white ,” he reminds himself. ‘ She’s white.’ He takes a deep breath, a proper prim smile emerging on his face. The first thing he wanted to do when he sat down would be to correct her pronunciation, but it would lead to an awkward situation, and he couldn't afford it. But the alternative of not doing so was having people pronounce his name wrong all the fucking time.
When the pain of the bite gets too much, he lets go. It's fine. It's fucking fine . If Neil wasn't grateful to him after this, he might set himself on fire. He walks to the platform, a step behind Neil, taking in the audience there for Kevin Day and Neil Josten. And perhaps... Maybe someone was sitting there for him too.
Neil ends up in the middle of the couch. Abraxas is sitting beside Neil. It was a bit of a tight fit, his thigh touching Neil's. He could feel the heat radiate off of him, and Abraxas hated how he would rather focus on his warmth than listen to Kathy's grating voice.
Kathy poured them both a glass of water, and Kevin passed it over. "Isn't this an interesting picture?" Kathy asked the audience. "Kevin is paired again."
She propped her chin on her hand and leaned over her desk to smile at Neil. "I'm not exaggerating much when I say you're the talk of the nation, Neil. You're the amateur who caught a national champion's eye. This kind of thing should only happen in fairy tales, don't you think? How does it feel?"
"Undeserved," Neil said. "I gave Millport everything I had because I knew it was going to be my only chance. Kevin was the last person I expected to see in Arizona."
"Lucky for us, he found you," Kathy said. "You have a natural talent for the game. It's a pity you started so late. Imagine where you'd be today if you'd started a couple of years ago. Maybe you would have been snatched up by Edgar Allan or USC if Kevin's right about your potential. Why did you wait so long?”
"I was never really interested in team sports before. I only tried out at Millport because I was new in town and thought it'd help me get to know people. I didn't mean for things to turn out this way."
"If it bothers you, I'll take your spot," Kathy said with a wink. "I don't mind cozying up to Kevin."
Abraxas prayed the hint of disgust his face showed wasn't caught on camera. He never realized how objectifying her words were until he was put in this position. Before, he had always glossed it over, but now he couldn't help but feel awful for Kevin for being reduced to a pretty face and a nice body. He barely could keep his mouth shut, wanting to call her out about how it was mildly unprofessional to say it to someone so much younger than her, especially on a show meant for sports.
"Would you come between two strikers?" Kevin asked.
She would love to be in between two strikers.
"Is it possible?" Kathy asked. "It's no secret there was hostility between you and the Foxes' strikers last year. Last night made it obvious there are still problems to work through with Seth. That doesn't seem to be the case with you two.”
"Seth graduates in May, so there is less of a chance or need to rehabilitate his style to mine. Neil and Abraxas, on the other hand, are just starting. We have all the time in the world."
Kathy pounced on that wording immediately. "That implies you see this as a permanent gig. Do you have no plans to return to Edgar Allan? Does it depend on how well you adjust to playing right-handed this season, or do you intend to graduate from Palmetto State regardless?"
"I would like to stay as long as Coach Wymack will have me.”
Then she turns to Abraxas, her smile turning a bit foxy, she is out there to catch him and make him trip. The thought wanted to make him laugh. He knew his anxiety got the best of him at times. But not when he sets his mind to something. “What about you, Abraxas?” She said, the smile bright and fake on her face, “Rumour has it you were a last-minute pick.”
Abraxas nods, agreeing with her. He looks down at the floor, his fingers going to his right-hand sleeve button to play with. He pauses. “I never thought I could impress Kevin Day or anyone with my play, for that matter,” his eyes wide and round when he looks back at Kathy, his lips slightly upon in wonder, “but then coach Wymack came in with the contract, and how could I have said no?”
It doesn't take long for Kathy to realize she can't catch him. Her questions were twisted, waiting for a mistake to happen, but he replied to it all politely, even sometimes asking her to elaborate and explain it to him, using English not being his first language as an excuse. The image he wanted to set was done fairly quickly. He's a wide-eyed innocent, perhaps a bit too naive kid given a chance to prove himself to the world. He's the boy who gets confused over some words, tilting his head and pouting when asking the meaning of them. He's the poster boy who can't do anything bad.
He had to thank his parents for making this possible. He possibly couldn't have been this polite if it wasn't for the endless dawats, aka dinner parties, they held in the house. Always sit up straight when guests are around. Always smile when greeting someone. Having good manners around strangers was drilled into his head. Always go the extra mile for a relative. Always share. Be perfect. Brag about yourself, but do it subtly so you seem humble.
Every time someone used to visit his home. He would turn up to be the perfect son of picture-perfect parents, never mind the stain of blood on the carpet and broken glasses in the trash. Forced to be the pride of the family. The lines often felt blurred to him, making him question himself.
Did he like being kind? Or was he simply aware cruelty isn't expected of him and therefore never crossing the line? More often than not, he would rather have been an angry, horrible mess of a human, but then he wouldn't have been any different than his family. And he refused to be the same. So who was he?
A storm went through him, but the first phrase of his plan was complete now.
It didn't take Kathy too long to realize she was helping Abraxas set up with his image; the conversation soon turned to Kevin again. Asking about Riko and Edgar Allan. "Ahh, the Ravens must be sad to hear that," Kathy said. "I imagine Riko misses you."
"We will see each other again this fall."
"Indeed, you will. They're in your district now," Kathy said. "Why the major change?"
"I don't presume to understand Coach Moriyama's motivations."
“You mean they didn't tell you?" Kathy's surprise looked genuine.
"We are all very busy. It is difficult to keep in touch."
“Well then." Kathy recovered with a bright smile. "Have I got a treat for you!”
Music blared from the speakers, a dark melody with heavy drums. The crowd jumped to its feet and started chanting in unison, "King! King! King!" Abraxas spotted the foxes easily, as they were the only unmoving bodies in the crowd. They sat blank-faced with shock. Abraxas looked back at Kevin's pale face and briefly looked at the blank face of Neil.
‘It's going to be okay’ ,’ he wants to tell them. ‘They can't hurt you. I won't let them.’
Abraxas's peripheral vision brought his attention back to the wings of the stage. The man who stepped onto the stage wore the same outfit Kevin did, except for his version was black from head to toe. When he reached for Kathy's hand, his sleeve billowed around his arm like the wings of his school's raven mascot. The number one tattoo on his left cheekbone told everyone in the audience who'd just walked onto Kathy's stage.
'Riko, ' motherfucking son of a bitch, why didn't he fucking die of a car crash on the way here? Why did he have to exist and should just drink poison? But I still feel bad for him as a character who perhaps in another environment and influences could have been good but still fuck you very much,’ Moriyama. And Jean Moreau, who was stuck in the nest, living all the horrors Riko dreamed of.
The self-proclaimed King of Exy kissed Kathy's cheek in greeting. Whatever Riko and Kathy said to each other was lost in the audience's racket, but Kathy was beaming when she leaned back. Riko took the last few steps to Kevin's couch alone and stood over him. He was smiling, but no one was stupid enough to think he was happy. The only look in his eyes was murder.
Abraxas breathes in, making sure his face is showing nothing but wide-eyed surprise at seeing the fucking king right in front of him. He has to be perfect for this to work; nothing can afford to distract him, nothing. He could feel the tensing muscles of Neil and his body telling him to run, run, and run to survive.
Only after the crowd quieted down did Riko speak. "Kevin. It's been so long."
There was a scuffle and crash in the audience. Abraxas turned to look to see Renee sitting sideways in Andrew's lap, one foot braced against the ground to keep him from shoving her off. She had a hand over his mouth as they both stared up at the stage. Matt had one of Andrew's wrists in both hands. Wymack had the other. The looks on the foxes' faces ranged from horror to fury.
Riko ignored them completely and held his hand out to Kevin in invitation. Kevin stared at it for a couple of seconds, then slipped a hand into Riko's and let Riko pull him to his feet. The crowd applauded as Riko embraced Kevin, apparently oblivious to how slowly Kevin returned the hug.
Riko let go and held Kevin at arm's length. "I think you've shrunk since I last saw you. Don't they feed you down here? I always heard southern food is heavy."
"I run it off on the court, I guess."
"What a miracle."
There was an edge in his voice, but Kathy smiled and gestured between them. "It truly is a miracle. Take a good look, everyone. Your golden pair is back, but for the first time, they're rivals. Riko, Kevin, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for tolerating our incessant fanaticism."
She motioned for them to sit. Riko backed away from Kevin to sit on the other couch. Kevin sank back onto his cushion, but he was paying more attention to Riko than where he was going. He knew Kevin was shaking; he knew Neil could feel it. Neil could feel his tremble too, and he hated how a hint of fear was within him. Riko was not worth being afraid of. He's a pathetic bastard, and Abraxas could deal with it. Mafia be damned.
Kathy looked at Riko. "From what I've just heard from Kevin, it sounds like neither of you have spoken in a while. Is that right?"
"It is," Riko said. "You sound surprised."
"Well, yes," Kathy said. "I didn't think it possible for you two to grow apart."
"A year ago it would have been impossible," Riko said, "but you have to understand how emotionally crushing December was. The injury was Kevin's to bear, but we all suffered for it. Some of us couldn't handle the reality of what that accident meant, myself included. Kevin and I grew up at Evermore. We built our lives around that team and our pairwork. I couldn't believe we'd lost it. I couldn't accept that our dreams had collapsed. Neither could he, so we withdrew from each other."
"But for nine months?"
She looked at Kevin, so he answered, but his voice had lost its easy edge for something duller. "Perhaps it was inevitable. We made Exy the center of our lives, Kathy. We showed you our best, but we didn't show you what it cost us. Juggling three teams, university classes, and public pressure was wearing us down, but we refused to admit it. We didn't want to believe we had limits.
Kathy nodded. "I can't even imagine the stress and pressure. I suppose it would put a strain on your friendship."
"We are human sometimes," Riko said, "and therefore we can't help but have our differences, hmm, Kevin?"
"No family is perfect," Kevin agreed quietly.
Kathy nodded sympathetically. "Can I just say it was terrifying when you two disappeared? The last we heard, you two had gone skiing to celebrate the end of the semester, and then no one saw either of you in public for a month. I feared the worst, but I didn't realize what the worst was until Coach Wymack made his announcement."
"The worst was having everything and losing it," Riko said. "We signed with Court last year, which meant we had only one dream left to achieve: to play together with Court at the summer Olympics. We knew it was coming, that it was just a matter of time, that a lifetime's worth of effort and sacrifice was about to pay off. Then Kevin broke his hand."
"Everything changed," Kevin said, so low no one would hear him if not for the microphone he was wearing. "We weren't ready to acknowledge that. It was easier to just walk away. Unwise," he allowed, glancing at Riko, "but easier."
"Heartbreaking," Kathy said sadly. Kevin looked at his water and said nothing. Kathy finally got a clue that the conversation was going the wrong way. She turned on Riko again, giving Kevin time to pull himself back together. "But look at him now. Isn't it amazing how far he's come this year?"
"I'm not sure it is," Riko said, "but I'm saying that as his brother, as his best friend. You saw him last night, Kathy. I'm worried his wishful thinking and obsession will lead him to injure himself again. Can he recover a second time, emotionally or mentally?”
“How could you say that?” Abraxas said it out loud, making sure his voice cracked a tad bit with overwhelming emotions. “I am sorry,” he says with an awkward smile as the attention turns to him, but he looks at Riko, his mind sounding alarms as he sees the boy look at him with dark, menacing eyes as if he's an unworthy insect.
His posture was a bit hunched, and hesitant, trying to look smaller to everyone present. His voice is gentle and innocent as he says, “Aren't you supposed to support him?” This will either make or break the interview; this is going to fuck him over for good. He's just as insane as Neil Josten, and he proved it by opening his mouth.
“I mean, instead of saying, if something does happen again, shouldn't you be there? Considering you failed the first time?”
"Failed?" Riko’s voice is ice, ready to be sharpened and used to slit Abraxas throat.
"Ah, forgive my bad manners," Kathy said to Abraxas; she threw him a look that said, ‘What the fuck?’, he ignored it. "I didn't forget you over there; I just got distracted. Let's get the pair of you introduced, though I'm not sure either one of you needs an introduction by now. Riko, Abraxas, and Neil. Abraxas and Neil, Riko. Kevin's past and present, or should I say past and future?”
Neither replied to the bait. Riko looks straight into Abraxas' eyes, and he's frozen in his seat; it has taken root of him. He knew if circumstances had him stand now, he would fall to his knees. It was illogical to be so afraid of him, but he had read what this demon was capable of.
"To address that accusation of yours: mine and Kevin's relationship is unique, and I do not expect you to understand it. Do not impress on us your petty ideas of friendship."
"Was unique," Neil said and emphasized again, "was. I'm pretty sure your relationship died when he couldn't keep up with your team anymore." Of course, Neil has to open his mouth even when he sees Abraxas handling it. But no, he can't keep it shut for once. ‘ Gaddha .’ he thinks, 'Stupid.' He thinks he's going to learn how to sew after this, just so he can stitch Neil's mouth during any important events.
"Kevin chose to leave Edgar Allan," Riko said. "We mourned his absence but were glad to hear he found a coaching position.”
“But you aren't happy that he's playing,” Abraxas said, like it's the biggest sin Riko thinks that way. Abraxas eyebrows furrowed, and he looked confused like a toddler as he asked, “Even though you said Exy is both of your lives. Why did you ever think Kevin would survive the absence of it when you possibly couldn't be either?”
Neil then barges in before Riko can reply. “The way I see it, Abraxas, that is why he transferred to our district.” He glances at Riko and says, “You don't think Kevin should be on the court again, so you'll cut him off at the pass. You'll destroy his chance of making a comeback and make him watch as your team succeeds yet again. You're rubbing his face in everything he's lost, and from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're enjoying it." There's no saving Neil; let that fucker dig his own grave and see if Abraxas cares .
"I will ask you only once to tone down that animosity."
"I can't," Neil said. "I have a bit of an attitude problem."
Riko's smile was all ice. "A bit?”
“What Neil says sounds a bit plausible. Why else would you be here? Instead of giving Kevin a chance to spread his wings again, it seems like you want to snip it off again. ” Abraxas's eyes turn a bit darker, his eyes narrowing as he looks at Riko, letting him listen to the wording. No one would question it, not now, not when this interview is already so overwhelming to everyone. But when the fans rewatch it, days, weeks, or years later, they will notice it, and there will be hell to pay for him even after his death; his reputation wouldn't survive.
Riko seems like he wants to tear Abraxas' face off and he shares the sentiment, he would love to take out every single tooth of Riko with pillars’ if it were possible. A boy like him didn't deserve to smile, not when it was filled with such cruelty, such animosity. It seemed wrong on his face. Like a skinwalker trying to pass off as human. It would give Abraxas nightmares; he knew he wasn't going to be sleeping tonight.
Kathy intervened before things could get nasty. "Neil does bring up a valid point I'd like to discuss. This district change is an unprecedented move. For it to be Edgar Allan makes it more surprising. Neither your coach nor the Exy Rules and Regulations Committee has given a satisfactory reason, but I don't think Neil's far off in thinking you transferred because of Kevin."
"Kevin plays only a small role in our decision," Riko said, "and not for the reasons these children claim. It was not a decision made lightly on our part, and we've taken an unfair bit of criticism for it. The North says we are transferring to keep our ranking secure as if they ever had a chance of unseating us, and the South cries unfair at having to contend with us. We are the nation's best team, after all, and the southeastern district is... Well, it's subpar, to be polite. To be honest, its teams are dreadful. We hope our transfer changes that. We're here to inspire the South."
"You want to do for the South what Kevin is doing for the Foxes," Kathy concluded.
"Yes, but it will be much easier if Kevin plays along," Riko said.
"How so?"
"Kevin cannot and will not play for us again. He knows this; this is why he did not return to us this spring. Our affection for him doesn't forgive his new inadequacies on the court, and he respects the Ravens too much to drag us down. That doesn't mean Evermore isn't his home. His work with the Foxes this spring proved we can find a place for him on our staff. We'd like him to return to us as one of our coaches."
"Sounds like a difficult choice, Kevin," Kathy said. "I have to admit both ideas fascinate me. As much as I love watching the Foxes improve, it breaks my heart to see you away from Edgar Allan.”
"You wouldn't honestly have him go back, would you?" Neil asked. "I can't believe it."
"This has nothing to do with you," Riko said.
“It has to do with every single Exy player for whom the sport is nothing short of air. You're telling him to let go again when last night he proved everyone wrong. You're telling him to stop breathing; how could you?” Abraxas punches Riko with these words.
“You're being nothing but selfish,” Neil pipes on. "If Kevin's dream has always been to be the best on the court, what right do you have to take it away from him? Why would you ask him to settle for less? The Foxes are giving him a chance to play, whereas you'd relegate him to the sidelines. He has no reason to transfer back."
"Palmetto State is a waste of his talents."
"Not as much as Edgar Allan was," Neil said. Someone in the audience laughed, entertained by Kathy's mouthy guest. "Your team's ranked first? Congratulations and big deal. Maintaining a top position is far easier than starting over from the gutters. Kevin is doing that right now. He's facing entirely new schools and learning to play with his less dominant hand. When he masters it, and he will, he'll be better than you could ever have made him.”
"Do you know why?" Neil asked, but he didn't let Riko answer. "It's not just his natural talent. It's because he's with us. There are only eleven Foxes this year. Think about it. Last night we played Breckenridge. They have twenty-seven people on their roster. They can burn through players as fast as they want because they have a pile of replacements. We don't have that luxury. We have to hold our ground on our own."
"You didn't hold your ground," Riko said over the Foxes' applause. "You lost. Your school is the laughingstock of the NCAA. You're a team with no concept of teamwork."
"Lucky for you," Neil said. "If we were a unified front, you wouldn't have a chance against us."
"You cannot last, and your unfounded arrogance is offensive to everyone who earned a spot in Class I. Everyone knows the only reason Palmetto qualified for this division is because of your coach."
"Funny, I'm pretty sure that's how Edgar Allan qualified."
"We've earned our prestige a thousand times over. You've earned nothing but pity and scorn, neither of which should be tolerated in a sport. Someone as inexperienced as you are has no right to have an opinion on the matter."
"All the same, I'll give you one more," Neil said. "I don't think you're telling Kevin to sit out because of his health. I think you know this season is going to be a disaster for your reputation. You and Kevin have always played in each other's shadows. You've always been a pair. Now you have to face each other on the court as rivals for the first time, and people are finally going to know which one of you is better. They're going to know how premature this was." Neil gestured at his face, meaning Riko and Kevin's tattoos. "I think you're scared."
Riko's smile could have frozen hell. "I am not scared of Kevin. I know him."
"You're going to eat those words," Neil said. "You're going to choke on them."
“ Neil, ” Abraxas cuts in, but can barely contain the smile on his face. Fuck, fuck, fuck. That was so attractive of him; he could kiss. He dismisses the thought immediately and looks at Riko. “My deepest apologies, Riko,” he said. “We're also fans of Exy before we're players. And Kevin is our teammate and someone we look up to, someone you seemingly abandoned. I hope you understand our protectiveness over him and forgive us for our rudeness.” Please, I hope Irichiou shoots you earlier in this reality.
Kathy cut in with a quick look between them. "You've got seven weeks until your match, and I, for one, am already counting down the seconds. There's so much to look forward to this year, but one question can't wait: orange or black, Kevin? What color is your future?"
"I already said it," Kevin said without looking at Riko. "I would like to stay at Palmetto as long as they're willing to have me."
The Foxes cheered at that. The rest of the audience was quick to join in. The tension between the strikers had seeped into the crowd, and it broke now in an uncontrollable wave. Kathy didn't even try to calm it but pointed at the cameras.
Abraxas barely heard her announce the end of the Exy segment and the cut to commercials. A light at the foot of the stage went dark, indicating they were off the air. Kathy covered the microphone on her shirt collar and looked at her guests.
"You boys made my day," she said with her biggest smile yet. The three got to their feet, and Kathy shook their hands. "Keep the clothes. There're refreshments in the back, and we've got seats up front so you can watch the rest of the show."
"Thank you," Kevin said.
At this cue, Abraxas takes the glass Neil had taken a sip from earlier. He swallowed dryly. ‘ This is just water; this won't stain the carpet. This won't stain anything. This glass doesn't have any value, nothing like the broken vases of my house. It's fine. Breaking it is fine. It's for Neil.' The glass slipping away from his grip wasn't even voluntary. The mere thought of breaking something intentionally had him accidentally letting go of the glass. The shatter makes him flinch, and it feels like everything has stopped for a second.
“Abraxas,” he hears faintly, “Abraxas!”
He looks back at Neil, staring at him. He could feel the stab of everyone's stare in the room. He glances at Kathy and forces himself to chuckle. “I am so sorry,” he said, kneeling downward to pick up the shards. “I didn't mean-.” ‘It’s all my fault. I break everything and can't fix anything. I wasn't made for any good— "to do this.”
“You don't have to,” Kathy begins. But Abraxas cuts her off, “I don't want anyone's work to be difficult because of my mistake.” He hates his handshake, and the people closest to him—Riko, Neil, and Kevin—can all see it. It makes him want to crawl inside of his mind and leave an empty shell of a body behind. He picks up all the large shards, ignoring their sharpness, digging into his fingers, making micro-cuts that will hurt like a bitch later.
He places the sticks on the table. “I am sorry,” he said to Kathy again, filled with such guilt and sincerity that he could see the pity forming in her eyes. He looks away, brushing his suit with his hands to at least look like he's collected himself. Then they all turn to walk out of the stage.
Neil is beside him, Kevin ahead, and he can feel Riko behind him. He hated having Riko at his back, and for comfort, he wanted to hold Neil's hand, but he knew it wasn't his place to do this. Even when his fingers twitched, his mind trying to force him to do the action, he fisted his hands instead.
Riko followed them off the stage and behaved until they were in the hallway. The aides who'd been waiting in the wings rushed past them to check on Kathy and adjust settings during the commercial break. Abraxas thought maybe one would linger long enough to distract Riko, but maybe the time crunch was more important than autographs right now.
Abraxas turned to face Riko, knowing what was coming. Riko caught Abraxas by his shoulders and threw him up against the wall. Abraxas went rigid as they stared each other down, trapped more by the death in Riko's eyes than the fingers leaving bruises on his shoulders. Abraxas took heavy, deep breaths as he started back at Riko, refusing to back down. He felt his throat narrowing its airway as Riko snaked his hand around Abraxas neck, pressing hard. Abraxas gasped, trying to take in air, but he didn't break eye contact.
“A lamb disguising a wolf?” He mused, tilting his head, before leaning closer. “No, you used being a lamb to your advantage. How amusing,” he let out as Abraxas counted the seconds he could live without air.
With one last squeeze, he lets Abraxas go. Abraxas coughs, knowing there will be bruises around his neck forming soon. As he looked ahead, he saw the death grip Kevin had on Neil. "I do not approve, Kevin," said. "You should get rid of him as soon as possible."
"You saw our game last night," Kevin said quietly. "He has potential."
"Potential," Riko grins, turning to Abraxas again, ready to step in closer. “Leave him alone,” Neil snarls, breaking free of Kevin and stepping forward. Riko reacts immediately, turning to Neil and gripping his hair harshly, sneering at his face. “Does this one have potential too?”
"You said that goalkeeper had potential and then wrote him off as useless when I offered him to you. You'll get bored of them just as quickly. Believe me."
Kevin pressed his lips into a hard line and looked away. Riko made a disgusted noise low in his throat. "Leave him alone,” said Neil again.
A black look twisted Riko's expression into something ugly and unrecognizable. He reached for Neil, but Kevin caught his arm to stop him. Riko slammed his elbow back into Kevin's face without missing a beat. Abraxas saw Neil retreat as fast as he could, but there was only so far he could go before he would end up on stage again. He'd just started tripping over wires when Andrew appeared in front of him.
Abraxas sighs out of relief when he sees Andrew. The relief was clear on his face as he pressed himself to the wall. Abraxas points at Riko before creating a round motion with his finger, calling Riko crazy through the gesture with a small smile on his face. Andrew stares at him for a beat before turning to Riko. "Riko," Andrew said, spreading his arms as if he intended to hug Riko. "It's been a while."
Riko jerked back a bit in surprise, started to school his expression into something more civil, and gave up when he realized who had joined them.
"We were just talking about you," Riko said.
"With your fingers, it seems," Andrew said. "Don't touch my things, Riko. I don't share.”
He reached back without looking and pushed at Neil's shoulder. Neil took the hint and skirted around Andrew and Riko. He half-expected Riko to stop them, but all of Riko's attention was on Andrew. Neil grabbed Kevin's arm and Abraxas, hauling them down the hall, looking for the exit. They were almost there when the team caught up with them. Abby jogged the last couple of steps to Kevin and crushed him in a fierce embrace. Kevin held onto her for dear life while the team hovered nearby.
Wymack looked at Neil. "Are you seriously retarded or something? You would have been safer back at Palmetto after all."
"Leave him alone, David," Abby said, muffled against Kevin's shoulder.
"When I said Abby and I would look out for you, I didn't mean you should pick a fight with Riko on national television," Wymack said. "Should I have spelled that out beforehand?”
"Probably," Neil said.
“And you,” he turns to Abraxas but stops when he sees how shaken he is. He was gently touching his neck and looked back at Wymack with tears in his eyes from the pain. “At least you did it in a way smarter than Neil,” he gruffs out. “Now get that neck checked out!”
"It's fine, Coach," Andrew said, catching up to them. Andrew stopped beside him, tilting his jaw up without a word to inspect the light purple bruising. He clicks his tongue before letting go of Abraxas. “I am fine,” it hurt to talk , his voice coming out all wrong and a little hoarse. A tear drips down his cheek. Did Riko intend to break his windpipe? He hoped someone would set his bedroom on fire tonight.
"Shhh,” Andrew said, placing his palm over Abraxas's mouth. “I don't like liars, Abraxas.”
Abraxas nods, and Andrew steps away, waiting to see if Abraxas will talk again. “I am due for an anxiety attack for the past thirty minutes or so,” he admits, feeling he would cough blood if he said another word right now. Andrew nods, “Have it back at home.”
Andrew pressed a hand to Abby's arm in a silent demand for her to back off. "Kevin, we're going. Right now, okay?"
Kevin let go of Abby, and Andrew pushed him out the door into the parking lot. Abraxas didn't mind the conversation going on around him, but it felt so loud to him. He whispered it to Renee, who shut down all the voices immediately; he couldn't have been more grateful to her, his heart warming as he took the quiet in.
Abraxas was going to sit a row behind Neil, but a hand on his arm stopped him. Neil hadn't looked at him, staring out of the window, but Abraxas sat beside him anyway. The bus stays quiet, more for Abraxas state than anything. Even Nicky stays in the silence despite wanting to burst the bubble with his voice.
Neil and Abraxas don't share a word. Neil doesn't even look back at him, his body tense from what happened earlier, his mind thinking of scenarios of the future. Abraxas couldn't focus on anything, his mind going back to the moment he didn't have any air to take in, back to the broken shards of glass.
Abraxas takes one of Neil's arms on his lap, gently raising the shirt sleeve to reveal Neil's wrist and the blue-green veins of his flesh. It takes a few presses of his thumb until he can feel the rushing pulse of Neil from his vein. He closes his eyes, resting his head on the seat, keeping his thumb pressed there. He feels Neil's heartbeat underneath his fingertip, letting it sing a silent song to lull him to sleep until they reach the Fox Tower.