Work Text:
Stede’s been high-strung recently. Well, Stede is always high-strung, but he’s been more high-strung than usual, and Stede’s stress is beginning to manifest itself in the way it always does: an overabundance of baked goods.
The freezer in the kitchen is completely full and the auxiliary freezer in the garage is well on its way. Ed has probably eaten more cookies in the last month than he has in the entire last year combined.
Ed just dropped off Stede’s latest batch of cookies in the work break room tonight, and he half expects him to be making another batch when he arrives home. Stede is still awake when Ed gets in the door, but he’s not baking, he’s also not reading, which is a little unusual. He’s lying on his stomach on the couch, with his arms folded under his head, chin resting on his forearm while he watches TV, Kraken curled up near his feet. He glances over when Ed walks in but makes no move to get up.
“Hi,” Stede mumbles, sounding dejected.
“Hey love, why are you still up?” Ed asks as he kicks off his shoes and takes off his jacket.
Stede makes an indistinct groan in reply, his eyes glued to the screen again. Ed pads across the living room and stoops down to brush Stede’s hair away from his forehead and drop a kiss to it.
“Rough night?” Ed asks.
Stede raises one shoulder in a half shrug.
“You wanna come to bed?” Ed offers.
Stede shakes his head. “Can’t sleep.”
Ed frowns in sympathy. He knows that Stede has been stressed at work recently, but doesn’t know the specifics. Stede has just said he’s been ‘busier than usual’ but Ed guesses there’s more to it than that.
“Want to talk about it?”
Stede shakes his head again.
“Want a cuddle?”
“Mm, yeah.” Stede nods, a pathetic little pout on his face that’s, quite frankly, fucking adorable.
“Alright, scoot over.” Ed nudges him and Stede drags himself up into a sitting position with a groan. Ed flops down onto the couch beside him and Stede immediately curls into his side, tucking his head against Ed’s chest. Ed wraps his arms around him and squeezes.
“What are we watching?”
“Bake off.” Stede’s voice is slightly muffled in Ed’s shirt.
Ed laughs. “Baking cookies isn’t enough, you gotta watch other people bake ‘em too?”
“They’re making brioche, not cookies.”
“Ah, my mistake.”
“Can’t make anymore cookies,” says Stede dejectedly after a moment.
“Why not?”
“Ran out of chocolate chips,” Stede sighs.
“You could always make a different kind of cookies,” Ed suggests. Stede shifts away from Ed and pulls back to look at him, his mouth in a flat, clearly unimpressed line and one eyebrow raised indignantly.
“Okay, or not,” Ed amends quickly.
“I only like cookies with chocolate,” Stede pouts. “There’s no point making them without.”
Stede is far more particular about baked goods than Ed is. Ed likes sugar, if something is sweet he will most likely enjoy consuming it (he’s a bit like Alma and Louis in that respect). Stede, on the other hand, is selective about the specific ingredients he uses for the handful of carefully curated recipes he makes.
“Alright, love,” Ed says soothingly, tucking Stede back into his chest and kissing the top of his head. “We can pick some up tomorrow.”
“We can’t,” Stede laments.
“Why not?”
“Won’t have any bloody time to bake tomorrow. Back to back meetings, I’ll probably have to stay late and be completely dead by the time I get home.”
Yet another reason Ed knows there’s more happening than Stede has let on - Stede has been staying late at work, something he hasn’t done since before Alma was born. He hasn’t been on another business trip since March (after the last one, he’d had asked not to be sent out of town so often), but it seems that Stede’s request resulted in him being given even more work in the office.
“Aww.” Ed drops a kiss to the crown of Stede’s head, getting a nose full of unruly curls. “How about I make a batch with you on the weekend? Would that make you feel better?”
Stede sighs and nods against his shoulder. Ed holds him a little tighter and rests his chin on the top of Stede’s head.
“Darling?”
Ed jolts awake to Stede nudging his shoulder. “Hmmm?”
“Go to bed,” Stede says gently.
“Nah, I’m good,” Ed protests around a yawn.
“Ed, you’re exhausted, go up to bed.”
Ed shakes his head. He can sleep later. Stede needs a cuddle.
“Come on, just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean neither of us should,” Stede coaxes. “I’ll be up in a bit, okay?”
“Alright, fine,” Ed sighs. “Just don’t wanna leave you alone if you’re feeling like shit.”
Stede gives him a grateful little smile and squeezes Ed’s shoulder appreciatively. “I’m alright darling.” He leans in and presses a kiss to Ed’s cheek. “I promise.”
-
Ed wakes to a distant whirring sound that his sleep-addled mind can’t quite place. He blinks in confusion. The bedroom is dark and Stede still isn’t in bed. Ed squints at the clock on the nightstand to check the time: 3:07am. The faint sound downstairs continues and Ed pulls himself out of bed to go investigate.
He puts on a pair of sweatpants and steals Stede’s sweatshirt that’s hanging up on the back of the door, before going downstairs. The light is on in the kitchen and as Ed approaches the sound, which he now realises was the stand mixer, shuts off.
“Stede?” Ed asks, coming around the corner and blinking sleepily in the overhead light.
“Ed!” Stede squeaks startled, looking up from where he’s pouring batter into a cake tin on the countertop.
“What are you doing, mate? It’s three in the morning.”
“Um.” Stede hesitates and glances between the bowl in his hands and the pan on the counter, like he’s sizing up whether he can pretend to be doing anything else. “Making cake?”
“Why?” Ed knows Stede stress bakes, but cake at three in the morning is new.
Stede shrugs and grabs a spatula to smooth out the batter. “I just wanted some strawberry shortcake,” Stede admits sheepishly.
And, well, Ed can’t really argue with that. What’s the point of being an adult with your own house if you can’t make cake whenever the fuck you want? And Stede looks so much more at ease here in the kitchen than he did when Ed got home, so Ed’s not gonna fucking object.
“Want some help?” Ed asks, pushing up his sleeves.
Stede looks at him in surprise, a little smile spreading across his face. “Really?”
“Sure.”
“Aren't you tired?”
“Nah, not really.” Ed shakes his head. “Besides, I want cake.”
Stede beams at him.
Ed holds the bowl while Stede spoons the rest of the batter into another cake pan.
“What now?” Ed asks, dusting off his hands on his pants after Stede puts both pans in the oven and sets the timer.
“Hmm.” Stede sets his hands on his hips and takes in the dirty counter. “Dishes next.”
“I can do that,” Ed volunteers. He quickly moves to the sink and starts filling it.
“Thanks,” Stede says with a smile. “If you wash the mixer bowl first, I can make the whipped cream.”
Ed does as he’s instructed and hands over the bowl. While Stede turns the mixer back on to whip the cream, Ed finishes the dishes, humming under his breath as he works.
The mixer shuts off and Ed is startled by Stede’s arms encircling his waist a second later, wrapping around him from behind.
“Hi,” Ed says, twisting his head to look at Stede who’s resting his chin on Ed’s shoulder and smiling softly at him.
“Hi, I love you.”
Ed grins and turns around in Stede’s arms. “I love you too,” he says, bumping their noses together.
“I’m so glad I married you, Edward,” Stede says, voice full of sweet sincerity that has Ed’s heart melting.
“Where’s this coming from?”
Stede shrugs one shoulder. “I suppose I just feel lucky to have found someone who joins in when I’m doing something a bit weird instead of making me feel… stupid about it.” Stede’s face falls.
“Anyone who’d make you feel stupid for doing the things you want to do is a dick,” Ed replies with conviction. “And not making you feel stupid is a pretty low bar for being a good partner.”
“Well that’s not all you do,” Stede says a little defensively. “I’m glad I married you for other reasons too.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” Ed nudges Stede’s nose again.
“Hmm.” Stede pretends to consider for a moment. “You are rather good looking.”
Ed gasps in mock offence. “Am I just a hot piece of ass to you?”
“No!” Stede protests. “Not just your ass. I like other bits too. Like your arms and your chest.” Stede gives Ed’s bicep a little squeeze for emphasis.
Ed laughs and rolls his eyes.
“Also you’re funny and you’re kind.” Stede’s expression shifts into something more serious. “You’re hard working and determined and you’re a wonderful father. You take such good care of all of us, Edward… you’re so good,” Stede’s voice goes a little strained on his last words and Ed feels his own throat going a bit tight.
“ Stede ,” he says softly, feeling a bit overwhelmed with the sudden onslaught of admiration from his husband.
“I appreciate you so much, you know,” Stede breathes, leaning his forehead against Ed’s. “I ought to tell you more.”
Ed doesn’t know what to say, isn’t even sure if his voice would work to say anything, so he tilts his head a little to one side and captures Stede’s lips in a short, soft kiss, before drawing him into a tight hug, resting his chin on Stede’s shoulder.
They stand like that for a minute, holding each other, Stede’s arms wrapped securely around Ed’s back.
“Hey,” Stede whispers against his ear.
“Hm?”
“Dance with me?” Stede asks, pulling back enough to look at Ed, one inquisitive eyebrow raised.
“‘Course I’ll dance with you,” Ed agrees easily, smiling.
Stede beams at him again and pulls his phone out of his pocket. It only takes him a second to select a playlist and then he sets his phone on the counter and pulls Ed back into him.
Ed tucks his cheek against Stede’s and allows himself to be swayed gently back and forth in Stede’s arms while he whisper-sings along with Nina Simone against Ed’s ear.
When Stede gets to the lyrics: ‘I want my whole life to be, lived with you, lived with you,’ he breaks away from Ed’s arms to point and sing the lyrics directly at him.
Ed can’t fight down the giggle that bubbles up in his throat, or stop the smile spreading across his face. Stede grins at him, scrunching his nose and showing his dimples. Ed has no choice but to pull him into a kiss. It’s not even a proper kiss, just their lips and teeth smushed together as they smile into each other.
Stede laughs against him and their noses bump together and Ed thinks that maybe he’s never been as in love with his husband as he is at this moment.
Their dancing gets a little uncoordinated after that, when Stede tries to spin Ed under his arm, but Ed goes the wrong way and they stumble into the counter together.
“Shhhh.” Stede presses his fingers uncoordinatedly over Ed’s lips, barely holding back his own laughter as Ed giggles. “We’ll wake the children.”
Stede leans into Ed’s side, steadying them both with a hand on the counter as he catches his breath. One look at Stede’s forced serious expression has Ed laughing all over again though, which sets Stede off too.
“Shh shh.” It’s Ed’s turn to put his hand over Stede’s mouth, trying to contain the wheezing fit of laughter spilling out of him. “It’s not even that funny,” Ed says, struggling to keep the laughter from his own voice.
“It’s three in the morning, Edward, everything is funny,” Stede counters as Ed moves his fingers just enough that Stede can talk without his voice being too muffled. But just as he’s about to draw his hand away all together, something wet touches his hand.
“What the fuck? Did you just lick me?” Ed yelps, pulling his hand away to see Stede grinning maniacally. “Oh my god, you lunatic, why would you do that?”
Stede shrugs, putting his hands behind his back and looking at Ed with wide eyes, adopting an innocent expression. “It was an accident.”
“Don’t lie to me, mate,” Ed growls, leaning into Stede’s space and narrowing his eyes. “You did that on purpose.”
“A completely baseless accusation,” Stede sniffs dismissively, his eyes sparkling with poorly disguised mirth. “I’d like to see you try to prove that in a court of law.”
“Oh I don’t need to prove anything,” Ed assures him. “I’m just gonna get you back.”
“Oh really?” Stede raises a challenging eyebrow.
“Yep. Gonna have to lick you back,” Ed states matter-of-factly.
Stede leans in until his lips are level with Ed’s ear and says, dropping his voice low, “That really isn’t the threat you think it is, darling.”
A little bolt of unexpected heat shoots through Ed at Stede’s sudden shift in tone, but then he’s pulling back and smiling sweetly at Ed again. And before Ed can decide what to do about that, the timer rings on the oven, startling them both.
“Oh fab!” Stede exclaims as he pulls the pans from the oven, both cake layers smooth and golden brown on top. “Perfect, look at that.”
“Looks great,” Ed says, nodding encouragingly. Cooking is really more his forte, but Stede looks very pleased with the results, so Ed is too.
Stede sets the pans on a rack on the countertop and goes to the fridge to take out a container of strawberries.
“I’ll wash them and you can cut them,” Stede says, moving over to the sink.
“Yes sir,” Ed replies playfully, but he can see the interested look Stede gives him out of the corner of his eye and Ed feels a bit smug about it.
He stands beside Stede, cutting board on the counter and knife in hand, and carefully slices each strawberry as Stede hands them over. Ed cuts off a little extra with the leaves, creating a v in the top of each strawberry so that they make heart shapes when he slices them. Pleased with himself, he nudges Stede’s arm and holds up one, heart-shaped, slice to show him.
“Very nice, darling,” Stede says approvingly.
“They’re hearts cause I love you,” Ed tells him sappily. He winks and clicks his tongue and Stede rolls his eyes, but his cheeks go pink.
“Piss off,” Stede mutters, failing to hide his smile as he turns back to the sink.
“Don’t think I will,” Ed disagrees lightly.
“Good,” Stede replies happily.
Once the strawberries are all sliced into immaculate little hearts and the counter is clean, Stede transfers the fruit to a bowl and mixes in a spoonful of sugar.
“Right.” Stede slides the bowl across the counter to sit beside the prepared whipped cream. “Now we just have to wait for the cake to finish cooling.”
“Ugh,” Ed groans impatiently. “Why can’t we just eat it now?”
“Edward, no! That would completely ruin the structural integrity,” Stede answers, tone full of disapproval, like suggesting to eat warm cake is the absolute worst thing Ed has ever suggested.
“But it’s late, and I wanna eat cake and go to bed,” Ed whines. Eyeing the cake longingly, where it sits a few inches away.
“Hmm.” Stede glances at the clock. “You’re right. Maybe we should wait until the morning to assemble it.”
Ed’s face falls. “You’re telling me we did all this just to not eat cake tonight?”
“Well…..” Stede trails off. “It would be quite late if we waited until it was cool enough to eat.”
Ed sighs, but looks at the clock as well. Stede’s right, it’s after 3:30 already and it is a weeknight.
“Fine,” Ed agrees reluctantly.
While Stede retrieves a clean dish towel from the cupboard to lay over the cakes, Ed takes the opportunity to dip his fingers into the bowl of strawberries and snag a couple slices, but Stede turns around more quickly than he expected and Ed jams them into his mouth.
Stede is extremely particular about Ed not stealing ingredients during the baking process. It’s one of his pet peeves and Ed usually avoids doing it within his line of sight.
“ Edward .” Stede narrows his eyes suspiciously.
“Hmm?” Ed replies, trying to sound like his mouth isn’t full.
“What have you got in your mouth?”
Ed quickly swallows and nearly chokes, but plays it off as clearing his throat. “Nothing.”
“Uh-huh,” Stede tuts, unconvinced. But he turns his back again to lay the towel over the cakes and Ed makes another daring move and sticks one finger into the bowl of whipped cream. The speed with which Stede swivels around and catches Ed’s wrist startles him and he nearly knocks the bowl off the counter but Stede catches it.
“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Stede drops his voice, low and stern. And sure, Ed knows they’re just playing but god, it does something to him when Stede uses that voice. A little bit of the heat from earlier unfurls in his gut.
“Uh, n-nothing.” Ed tries to keep his voice as casual as possible.
“Is that right?” Stede narrows his eyes again and Ed is about to say something to make Stede laugh, but it flies directly out of his brain when Stede lifts Ed’s hand up and pops his finger into his mouth, sucking it clean and - oh wow yeah, okay that heat from earlier is back in full force. Might be a full on volcano now.
A surprised gasp parts Ed’s lips as Stede smirks around his finger, which he’s still holding in his mouth. Stede’s hazel eyes are fixed on Ed’s, bright and intent as he drags his tongue slowly across the pad of Ed’s finger once before releasing it with a soft pop .
“Yeah, you know what?” Ed says, voice a little strained and pitching higher than he intends. “I actually couldn’t give less of a shit about the cake.”
“Oh.” Stede’s mouth turns downward in a little pout. “That’s not very nice. I worked rather hard on it.”
“Yeah,” Ed breathes, tilting into Stede’s space. “But I’m not really hungry anymore.”
“No?” Stede asks with interest.
“Not for food, anyways.” Ed arches an eyebrow.
Stede’s eyes glint and he smiles devilishly, teeth flashing. “What a coincidence, me either.”
“Wanna go upstairs and fuck?”
“So eloquent,” Stede replies sarcastically. “You really know how to make a guy feel special.”
“Wanna find out just how special I can make you feel?” Ed drops his voice suggestively and nudges Stede with his shoulder. Stede rolls his eyes and lets out a little huff, but Ed can tell that it’s not not working for him.
“Come on, I’ll be like way more eloquent once we’re in bed,” Ed says, crossing his arms and lounging back against the counter while Stede puts the cream and strawberries into the fridge.
“Oh I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Stede says in a light, conversational tone. He reaches out for Ed’s hand, Ed takes it at the same moment Stede flicks off the overhead light, plunging them into darkness.
“I think there are far better ways your mouth could be employed,” Stede mutters.
Ed is too stunned at the abrupt shift in Stede’s demeanour to reply and is helpless to do anything but willingly follow as Stede drags him up the stairs by their joined hands.
The minute they’re inside the bedroom, Stede has him up against the door, kissing him hard, hands twisted in the fabric of Ed’s sweatshirt, holding him in place. Stede slots his leg between Ed’s and Ed eagerly presses forward into the contact.
Ed breaks away from the kiss, just enough that he can look into Stede’s eyes. “Please tell me I get to fuck you now,” he pants against Stede’s lips.
Stede grins, lips wet, a stray curl bouncing against his forehead as he nods enthusiastically. “I’d love that.”
Ed groans and catches Stede’s lips in an uncoordinated, heated kiss. Their noses bump together and their teeth clack because Stede is still smiling and Ed doesn’t give a shit because kissing Stede is just so fucking fun every time.
“C’mon.” Ed drags Stede across the room to their bed and Stede hits the edge with a little ‘Oof’ as Ed pushes him down.
There’s a momentary delay as they both get themselves undressed. Once Ed has struggled out of his clothes, he flicks on the bedside lamp to retrieve the lube out of the drawer and tosses it onto the bed.
Stede is laying on his back, fully bare, head propped up against the pillows. His legs are spread invitingly and Ed wastes no time in climbing over him and settling himself on his knees between Stede’s thighs. He scoots forward, drawing Stede’s legs up until they’re draped over his hips.
Ed pauses there for a moment, looking at Stede bathed in the soft golden light from the lamp, his hair is askew already and his face and chest are flushed. He looks utterly content, smiling up at Ed, eyes shining with anticipation.
It’s nice to see Stede looking so happy; he’s been so tightly wound over the last several weeks. But at least for right now, for this fleeting moment, it seems that he’s been able to break away from the stress, instead occupied with being utterly enamoured with Ed.
“God, I fuckin’ love you,” Ed breathes, running his hands slowly over the soft expanse of Stede’s torso.
“Hmm,” Stede releases a small, pleased exhale as Ed’s fingertips trace lightly over his skin. “I love you.”
Ed leans down to press a soft kiss to Stede’s lips. “How do you want to do this?” Ed asks, before pressing another leisurely kiss to Stede’s jawline.
“Slow,” Stede answers immediately, bringing his fingers up to gently stroke through Ed's hair.
“Yeah,” Ed agrees, mouthing intently along the line of Stede’s jaw. Ed separates himself from Stede’s skin for only a moment to retrieve the bottle of Astroglide from the sheets. He squeezes a generous amount over his hand, before discarding the bottle again.
“Ready?” Ed checks in as he settles over Stede again.
“Mmhm,” Stede nods, still looking soft and relaxed. Ed covers Stede’s mouth with his own, catching the noise he draws out of Stede when his fingers press into him.
“Alright?” Ed asks, pulling back after he’s given Stede a moment to adjust. Stede bites his lip and nods, taking a measured breath in through his nose, his cheeks flushed deep pink.
“Yeah, good,” Stede breathes shakily.
“Mmm, good,” Ed hums against the side of Stede’s neck, where he’s relocated his lips to. Ed settles into a slow, deliberate rhythm, slowly working Stede open with his fingers in tandem with his lips moving lazily across his skin. He places indulgent, open mouthed kisses across Stede’s neck, his shoulders, his chest.
Stede sighs contentedly beneath him, little pleased noises working past his lips as he basks in the attention Ed is showering on him. He keeps shifting against Ed, leaning into each of his touches or rocking back against his hand. He murmurs little words of encouragement against Ed’s ear ‘ so good,’ and ‘ right there, yes,’ and ‘just like that .’
Ed loses himself in it, surrenders himself completely over to Stede’s whispered praise and the feel of stedde’s smooth, heated skin beneath his fingertips. He doesn’t know how much time passes like that, sharing languid touches and kisses and slowly building pleasure. Eventually, when Stede is utterly relaxed, pliant and soft beneath him, Ed removes his hand and readjusts, shifting forward to bring their bodies flush together.
“Gonna fuck you now, sweetheart,” Ed murmurs, nuzzling unto Stede’s neck to press a kiss just below his ear.
“Yes, please,” Stede answers eagerly, arms around Ed’s neck, gazing up at him with unreserved longing.
“ Shit. Fuck- Stede, ” Ed whimpers, the words leaving him in a strangled rush as he gives himself over to the heat of Stede’s body.
“It’s alright, darling,” Stede says, cupping Ed’s cheek tenderly with one hand, running his thumb along Ed’s jaw, scratching through the short hair of his beard. “You’re doing so well,” Stede breathes encouragingly as Ed drops his forehead to Stede’s, breathing hard.
“You feel so good, love,” Ed moans against his lips, eyes locked on Stede’s, so close that they’re almost out of focus.
“God, so do you,” Stede echoes back, arching a little and making Ed hiss out a sharp breath.
They take a moment to breathe together, Stede’s hands hold him steady until Ed’s heartbeat stops pounding so insistently in his ears. But when Ed begins to move again, his head spins and his pulse immediately picks right back up.
“ Stede,” Ed says warningly. “I know you said you wanted this to be slow but I don’t know if I can-”
Ed’s words are cut abruptly short by Stede grinding purposefully against him, taking him deep. Ed’s startled cry is caught effortlessly behind Stede’s hand as it clamps firmly over his mouth. Ed’s heartbeat, impossibly, quickens as he watches Stede with wide eyes.
“It’s alright,” Stede insists, voice low and enticing, igniting across Ed’s skin like an electric current. “Don’t hold back. Go ahead.”
Ed follows the pull of Stede's voice and rocks his hips forward with renewed effort now that he’s been given permission to chase the feeling building rapidly inside of him.
“Good, that’s it,” Stede murmurs, one hand still clasped behind Ed’s neck, the other over his mouth, holding him close and maintaining eye contact. “Come for me, Edward.”
Ed doesn’t know if he closes his eyes, or if his vision simply short circuits as his orgasm hits him with enough force that he might forget his own name if it wasn’t being lovingly repeated over and over against his ear.
When Ed’s mind clears enough to be aware of himself, Stede’s hand is no longer over his mouth, instead it’s between their bodies. Stede’s strokes quicken, watching Ed with a hungry, almost desperate expression. He utters Ed’s name one more time, like a whispered prayer as he crashes over the edge. Ed watches, transfixed, as Stede’s eyes flutter closed, and he feels the full body tremor that runs through him as he shakes apart beneath Ed.
It never ceases to amaze Ed, seeing Stede like this, he goes a little weak with it everytime. No matter how often they fuck, or how many times Ed has seen Stede’s expression go taught with pleasure and felt the way he trembles as he rides out his orgasm, he’s always mesmerized by it, still a little disbelieving that of all the people in the world, he’s the only one who gets to see Stede like this. The only one who gets to make Stede feel this way, totally free and uninhabited.
“I love you.” Ed presses a kiss to Stede’s forehead, smoothing the crease between his eyebrows as his face finally relaxes. “I love you,” Ed says again, because he can, because Stede deserves to hear it over and over again for eternity. He kisses across Stede’s forehead, his temples, his cheekbones and nose.
Stede is still breathing hard, chest heaving, muscles quivering and Ed reluctantly shifts to give him some time to recover, but Stede’s hand catches in his hair, holding him firmly in place.
“Stay,” Stede gasps. “Keep- keep going.”
Ed hesitates, a little surprised by the request when Stede is still practically shaking against him. “Are you su-“
“Please,” Stede whines, tugging Ed’s hair a little and clinging to him tighter. “If-“ Stede pauses, draws in a slightly more steady breath. “If you want.”
Ed groans and surges forward to capture Stede’s lips in an eager, messy kiss.
“Yeah, I want that,” Ed pants against Stede’s lips. He shivers as he presses back into the inviting heat of Stede’s body. “ Oh- Fuck, yeah. That’s good.”
“Don’t stop,” Stede pleads, voice rough and imploring.
“I won’t,” Ed promises against his skin.
Ed sets a steady, unhurried rhythm, luxuriating in the press of their bodies together and each slow roll of Stede’s hips to match his own.
“This,” Stede gasps, voice strained. “This is what I wanted. Just to feel you.”
“I’m here,” Ed reassures him quietly. He holds Stede tighter. “I’ve got you.”
It isn’t often that they have time to do this (not that they really do right now, but Ed is resolutely ignoring the clock). There’s something that feels illicit about it; continuing to fuck just for the sake of it, just for the enjoyment of touching each other and the desire to close. Ed doesn’t know if either of them will come again and it doesn’t matter. It’s secondary to the pleasure they’re sharing now, not building to anything, totally unhurried. The simple enjoyment of feeling the other person. Their bodies fitted together because it’s good, because it’s fun, simply because they want it.
Their movements are slow, almost lazy and Ed isn’t sure how much time they pass like that. With Stede’s arms around Ed’s neck as Ed holds himself up, hands bracketing either side of Stede’s face; eyes locked, hearts synced. Stede is incredible like this, utterly debauched, relaxed and warm and fucked-out, hair damp with sweat against his forehead, pupils dilated, making his eyes appear darker than usual as he gazes at Ed.
Eventually, when Stede’s eyes begin to droop and heaviness is settling into Ed’s limbs, he lets himself rest his weight against Stede’s chest, staying on top of him for a moment, listening to his steady, rhythmic heartbeat. But he only allows himself to relax for a few seconds before he forces himself to roll off Stede. He knows if he waits any longer, he’ll fall asleep. So he gets up and goes into the bathroom to get himself cleaned up, before returning to do the same for Stede.
Once they’re both clean, Ed turns off the light and climbs back into bed, cuddling down close to Stede, who immediately envelopes Ed in his arms.
Within a couple seconds Ed is close to sleep, but Stede breaks the silence with a distressed little groan of, “Fuck.”
Ed looks over his shoulder at him. “What’s wrong?” he asks, voice coming out thick and sleepy.
“I don’t want to go to work.” Stede sounds utterly miserable and that simply won't do. Ed didn’t just spend the better part of the last two hours doing Stede’s favourite stress relieving activities to have him back to being miserable so soon.
“You’re not,” says Ed decisively.
“What?”
“You’re not going to work,” Ed feels along the top of the nightstand until his fingers close over his phone. “I’m texting Lucius right now and telling him you’re sick.”
“But I’m not sick,” Stede protests weakly.
“Don’t care. You’re taking the day off. You’re sleeping in and then we’re going out.”
“Out where?”
“Out. We’re doing the thing you always say,” Ed says absently as he types out a message to Luicus.
“We’re having a day?” Stede asks, sounding excited.
“Fuck yeah we’re having a day.”
To Ed’s surprise, Lucius texts back right away, saying that he’ll make whatever rearrangements are necessary to Stede’s scheduling and promising he won’t be contacted about work for the next 24 hours.
“It’s settled then. You’re staying home and letting me take care of you.”
“I- well, I really shouldn’t-”
“Shh, no arguing,” Ed says, dropping his head back to his pillow. “It’s sleeping time.”
“Fine,” Stede sighs. Then, a little quieter, voice softer and a little hesitant, “Thank you.”
Ed smiles and draws one of Stede’s hands up to his face to press a kiss to the back of it. He falls asleep to the sound of Stede’s heavy, deep breathing in his ear.
–
Ed almost regrets the 3am cake baking and sex marathon when he’s awake only a few hours later to take the kids to school, but then he sees Stede’s face as he sleeps beside him, looking peaceful and utterly relaxed, the worry lines that have been prominent so often lately nowhere to be seen, and Ed knows any lack of sleep on his part was worth it. He leans over and drops a light kiss to Stede's forehead before leaving him to sleep in.
At 7am, Ed is dressed and stealing carefully out of their room, closing the door softly behind him, and just in time too - Louis is already sleepily making his way down the hall towards their room.
“Hey mate,” Ed whispers. Louis stops and blinks blearily up at him.
“Where’s dad?”
“He’s sleeping in today. I’m gonna take you to school instead, okay?”
Louis nods and rubs his eyes. “Can I still give him a cuddle?” Louis asks, looking longingly at the closed door behind Ed.
Louis climbs into bed with them almost every morning just after he wakes up to cuddle with Stede, Ed knows, though he usually sleeps through it.
“Not this morning, he’s really sleepy,” Ed explains as gently as possible.
The corners of Louis’ mouth turn down and his eyebrows draw together in the beginning of a pout.
“I could give you a cuddle instead?” Ed offers quickly.
“Okay.” Louis nods and Ed takes his hand and leads him down the hallway back to his own room.
Ed sits down in the plush armchair in the corner of Louis’ room that Stede usually occupies for story time, and his son climbs into his lap. Louis tucks his head on Ed’s shoulder and Ed wraps his arms around him, rubbing slow circles into his back.
“Isn’t dad going to work?” Louis asks, voice muffled in Ed’s shirt.
“Mm no, not today,” Ed replies sleepily.
“Why not?”
“He’s not feeling good, needs a day off.”
“Is he sick?” Louis sits up immediately, voice tinged with worry.
“No, he’s not sick. He’s okay,” Ed reassures him.
“Then why isn’t he feeling good?” Louis frowns in confusion, his eyebrows pulling together in a distinctly Stede-like fashion.
Ed considers for a moment. “Well, you don’t have to be sick to not be feeling good. Sometimes we can feel bad in our brains too.”
“Oh.” Louis still looks a little puzzled. “What’s that mean?”
“You know how when you feel sad or upset it makes you feel bad even though you aren’t sick?” Ed asks.
Louis nods slowly.
“Dad’s been a bit worried,” Ed explains. “So he just needs to take a day to rest.”
“Oh.” Louis ponders this for a moment. “What’s he worried about?”
“I’m not sure,” Ed replies, smoothing Louis’ hair back from his face.
“Are you going to stay home too?”
“Yeah.” Ed had already texted Izzy after he woke up to let him know he’d be taking the day off.
“Why?” Louis asks again and it’s really far too early for Ed to be answering so many questions, but he does his best.
“Cause it’s not nice to be by yourself when you don’t feel good. It’s better to have someone you love with you.”
“That’s good.” Louis nods approvingly. “You love dad very much, don’t you?”
Ed smiles. “Yeah, I do.”
“Me too,” Louis says seriously. “Can I stay home too?” he asks expectantly after a beat.
“You gotta go to school, mate,” Ed reminds him.
“But I want to help him feel better too,” Louis pouts.
“I know and that’s very nice of you,” Ed is quick to assure him. “But dad wouldn’t want you to miss out on all the cool stuff you have to learn at school.”
Louis sighs dejectedly.
“Tell you what,” says Ed. “How about you give him a cuddle when you get home? I bet that’d make him feel better.”
“Fine,” Louis agrees reluctantly.
“Alright, c’mon.” Ed pats his back. “We gotta get ready to go soon.”
Making breakfast, feeding the kids breakfast, getting them ready to go, and getting out of the house is by no means a quiet affair, but Ed does the best he can to keep the chaos and volume to a minimum. When he gets into the car, he just hopes that Stede somehow managed to sleep through it.
On the way to the school, Ed is pestered with several more questions like ‘Will dad really be okay?’ (Yes) and ‘What counts as being sad enough to stay home?’ (I don’t know, it’s a case by case basis) and ‘Can I stay home when I’m sad?’ (Yes, if you need to) and, from Louis, ‘ Is it possible to die from being sad?’ (Don't think so, mate).
While Ed waits in the drop off line, he opens his phone and books a couple of appointments. He had told Stede they were having a day after all, and Ed is going to make sure it’s a damn good one. Stede is about to get as de-stressed as humanly possible.
“Teddyyyyy,” Louis whines, kicking his heels against the back of Ed’s seat.
“What’s up, mate?” Ed asks distractedly, still scrolling on his phone.
“I don’t feel good.”
Ed locks his phone and takes a deep breath. He’s about 90% sure he knows what’s about to come out of his son’s mouth.
“Yeah? What’s wrong?” Ed asks, turning to look at Louis.
Louis already has his most convincing pout on his face when Ed’s eyes land on him.
“I’m sad.” Louis’ eyes are big and pleading.
“No you aren’t,” Alma huffs, rolling her eyes. “You’re just saying that to copy dad.”
Louis scowls at her and crosses his arms. “Am not!”
“What’s makin’ you sad?” Ed asks patiently. Alma is, of course, right, but it wouldn’t do to let her know that.
Louis considers this for a long moment and finally shrugs. “I dunno,” he says. “Just wanted to be sad today.”
“You wanted to be, did you?” Ed asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Yup!”
“Being sad isn’t very nice, I don’t know many people who want to be,” Ed points out, trying to remain diplomatic.
“Well I do, ‘cause I want to stay at home,” Louis informs him matter-of-factly.
“Ah-huh,” Ed says. “I see.”
“So can I stay at home?” Louis asks expectantly.
“Tell you what,” Ed says, just as the car ahead of him begins to move forward (thank fuck). “If you’re still feeling sad at lunch time. I’ll come pick you up, how’s that?“
“Hmm.” There’s silence for a moment while Louis considers Ed’s offer. After releasing a dramatic sigh, he says, in a long-suffering voice, “Fine, I guess so.”
Ed breathes a sigh of relief. Crisis averted!
On the way home, Ed makes a couple stops: one to pick up a few croissants and Stede’s favourite tea, and the other to get a sunny bouquet of daffodils and yellow tulips.
He’s relieved to find the house still dark and silent upon his return, meaning that Stede has managed to sleep in. Ed goes into the kitchen to get a tray set up with breakfast. He slices the croissants and adds a generous amount of marmalade to the tray before attempting to carry it, their drinks, and the bouquet upstairs all at the same time.
Ed, as it turns out, is not an octopus and can’t possibly balance that many things at once. He has to make two trips up the stairs.
“Shit!” Ed swears and nearly drops the vase as a little bit of Stede’s boiling hot tea drips onto his finger.
“Ed?” Stede calls from inside the bedroom. Okay, so not asleep. “Are you alright, dear?”
“Yeah! Stay there,” Ed calls back. “Don’t come out.”
“I don’t think my sexuality should come as a surprise to you!” Stede replies a little giggly, obviously very pleased with his joke. Ed snorts and rolls his eyes.
“What are you doing out there anyway?” Stede asks.
“Nothing, just- just close your eyes.”
“Why do I need to close my eyes?” Stede sounds suspicious now.
“Because!” Ed hisses as more tea spills onto his hand.
“That’s a preposition darling, not an answer.”
Ed rolls his eyes. “Just close them!”
“You could at least say please,” Stede snipes back from the other side of the door.
“Stede Montague Bartholomew Bonnet-Teach you are testing me right now,” Ed snaps without any real heat. “Do you want to stop being a bitch and see the present I got you or not?”
“I want the present!” Stede shouts back quickly. “My eyes are closed!”
Ed huffs and shakes his head fondly. Trust Stede to comply the minute a present is hinted at.
“Okay, keep them closed,” Ed says, opening the door and crossing the room to set the vase on the bedside table. Stede is sitting up in bed, with both hands over his eyes. He obviously hasn’t been awake very long because his hair is sticking up in every direction, which is incredibly cute. One of Ed’s favourite iterations of Stede’s hair is bedhead.
“Can I look yet?” Stede asks expectantly.
“Just a sec, gotta grab something else,” Ed tells him, walking back towards the doorway to retrieve the breakfast tray.
Stede makes an impatient little tut behind him.
“Okay, just one more second,” Ed says as he carefully balances the tray and drinks back towards the bed. Ed manages to set both to-go cups on the table beside the vase without spilling, and then straightens up, holding the tray out towards Stede. “You can open!”
Stede pulls his hands away from his face with a flourish and immediately breaks into a radiant smile, his dimple on full display, and shining like every star in the goddamn solar system decided to join forces. God, Ed loves him.
“Edward!” Stede squeaks in delighted surprise. “Did you bring me breakfast in bed? And- and you got me flowers?” Stede’s eyes widen and his eyebrows draw together in a soft, touched expression as his gaze lands on the bouquet.
“Yeah.” Ed ducks his head and smiles at him.
“Thank you,” Stede’s voice is small and he looks back at Ed with shining eyes. “That was very kind.”
“Yeah, well, you deserve it.” Ed shrugs one shoulder. Stede deserves the entire fucking world, breakfast and flowers is really the least Ed can do.
“Here.” He holds out the tray and Stede takes it and sets it on his lap as Ed goes around to the other side of the bed to climb up beside him.
“Ooo, what have we got here?” Stede looks over the contents of the tray with interest. “Croissants, my favourite.” He nods approvingly. “And marmalade of course and… it looks like some twine?”
Ed frowns and sees what Stede’s pointing to. Somehow he managed to set the string that had tied the flowers together on the tray. “Oh shit, yeah, sorry, that was from the bouquet.”
“It makes quite a good garnish actually,” Stede remarks, taking the bit of twine between his fingers. “Really ties the whole thing together.” He looks at Ed expectantly, eyes twinkling with amusement and Ed begrudgingly laughs, shaking his head.
“Stede, that was a terrible dad joke,” Ed says flatly.
“Well I am a dad, what did you expect?” Stede asks a little defensively.
“Yeah I’m a dad too, mate. You don’t see me saying shit like that.”
Stede shrugs. “It’s not my fault that I’m the funny one. It just comes naturally to me,” he says haughtily.
“Uh huh, sure, okay,” Ed replies sarcastically. “You keep telling yourself that.”
“Really though,” Stede says, voice growing more serious as he looks back at the tray. “Thank you, this really is lovely.”
“You’re lovely,” Ed parrots back at him, leaning in to peck a kiss to Stede’s temple. Stede’s nose scrunches up and his cheeks go a little pink.
They eat breakfast in relative silence, their shoulders brushing and their eyes meeting every once in a while. Each time Ed catches his eye, Stede is smiling softly, looking relaxed and content and well rested.
Ed is only now, as Ed looks at him, is he realising just how stressed Stede has been recently. Stede’s whole demeanour has changed overnight, he seems lighter somehow. If this is what one day off work can do for him, Ed considers bringing up the idea of a proper vacation. But that will be for a different day. Today is just for showering Stede with as much love and affection as he possibly can and giving him a chance to completely relax without worrying about anything but existing.
When they’ve cleared the tray, Ed carries it over to set on the dresser and comes back to bed to cuddle Stede properly while they finish their tea.
“Did you sleep well?” Ed asks, nose tucked into Stede’s hair as he rests his chin on the top of his head.
“Mmhm.” Stede nods, making his curls bounce and tickle Ed’s face, Ed scrunches his nose. “Well, as well as can be expected after 3am cake baking,” Stede amends.
Ed chuckles. “Yeah.”
“Although,” Stede drops his voice conspiratorially. “You did a rather good job of helping me get to sleep afterwards.”
Ed pulls back enough to look at Stede. “Thanks, I was doing my best.” He smiles smugly.
“Oh I could tell, very good work,” Stede says appreciatively. “I’ll give you a five star rating.” Stede’s tone is light and teasing but his eyes are glinting with dark interest as he looks at Ed.
“Oh yeah?” Ed raises his eyebrows and gives Stede’s shoulder a little nudge. “You sure about that?”
“Well, yes,” Stede hesitates, eyebrows drawing together.
“Or would you like me to demonstrate some of my other skills so you can be sure?” Ed suggests, lowering his voice and raising a questioning eyebrow.
“Now that you mention it, I think that would be a very good idea, actually,” Stede replies a little breathlessly. Ed smirks and leans in to give Stede a slow kiss. Stede sighs happily into his mouth, making a soft, eager noise as he puts his hands in Ed’s hair and pulls him closer.
“Alright.” Ed glances at the clock when he pulls away. “We’re on a bit of a schedule so I’ll have to be quick. Don’t dock marks,” he says as he shimmies down the bed.
“Oh don’t worry about that,” Stede assures him lightly. “Efficiency is a rather desirable trait, I’m told.”
“Yeah?” Ed asks. “Well, good. I’m expecting a full performance review when I get back up there,” Ed jokes before disappearing under the sheets.
As it turns out, a performance review is a rather unnecessary request. It doesn’t occur to Stede to save any of his extremely positive feedback until after, something which Ed is absolutely thrilled about.
—
“You said we were on a schedule?” Stede asks ten minutes later, his head resting on Ed’s chest as they catch their breaths together.
“Oh! Yeah, I made plans for the day,” Ed tells him excitedly.
“What are we doing?” Stede asks expectantly, wriggling out of Ed’s arms to look at him.
“Is it okay if it’s a surprise?” Ed asks.
Stede, as a general rule, does not like surprises. He likes to be able to plan for things, and if he isn’t able to, he often gets a bit anxious.
Ed had found this out early on in their relationship, when, after a couple months of dating, he had thought it would be a nice idea to take Stede to one of his favourite restaurants for dinner as a surprise. But all Ed had said was ‘Are you free tonight? I’ve got a surprise for you.’
Stede had been so stressed out that by the time they made it to dinner, he hadn’t eaten anything. He’d explained, after their disastrous date, that he had spent the entire day worrying about where they were going and what they would be doing. He hadn’t known how to dress, or what to bring with him, or how long they would be gone, or if other people would be there.
After that, Ed, young and stupid as he had been, took the easiest route and just stopped planning dates for them altogether. This had, eventually culminated in an argument a few months later, when Stede pointed out as much and said that he didn’t feel like Ed was putting in as much effort as he was. Ed had been mortified and rushed to explain that he had been reluctant to plan anything for fear of making Stede anxious again. After that, they had made the executive decision to plan all their dates together and things had gone much more smoothly.
The thing is though, that Stede likes when Ed does things for him. It makes him feel special when Ed takes the time to plan things that Stede usually wouldn’t for himself. So now, fifteen years in, Ed is a pro at planning Stede-friendly surprises.
First, he’ll ask Stede if he’s alright with a surprise, sometimes he is, sometimes he isn’t, and Ed doesn’t mind either way. If he isn’t, Ed will just tell him what they’re doing on the spot and get to watch Stede light up with excitement then and there. If he is, Ed will give him a simple run down of how far away they’re going (in the city vs. out of town), how long they’ll be gone for, whether there will be other people or just the two of them, and, probably most importantly for Stede, a dress code.
“Yes, alright,” Stede agrees after a moment of consideration. Before laying his head back on Ed’s chest. “A surprise sounds nice.”
Ed glances at the clock and places a light kiss on the top of Stede’s head.
“We gotta get going soon, though,” Ed tells him, carefully running his fingers along Stede’s shoulder.
“Okay,” Stede agrees, voice a little muffled, his face squished into Ed’s chest. “Just five more minutes though.”
Ed smiles into Stede’s hair and holds him close.
“Yeah,” Ed agrees. “Five more minutes.”
-
“When you say something casual, how casual do you mean?” Stede calls as he rifles through the closet.
Ed is putting his hair up in front of the mirror. “Just something comfortable!”
There’s silence for a moment before Stede appears in the doorway of the bathroom, he’s wearing a pair of rather tight blue jeans (all of Stede’s pants are tight) and holding two hangers. One contains a fuzzy cream sweater with light yellow flowers scattered in a pattern across it and the other is a purple cable knit that Ed recognizes as his own. It doesn’t seem to matter how many clothes Stede owns, he always ends up borrowing Ed’s.
“Which one do you think?” Stede asks, looking expectantly between the sweaters and Ed.
“Hmm.” Ed turns around and leans against the counter to look, but he gets distracted by Stede’s bare torso for a couple seconds (a fairly common occurrence for him). “I think you’ll look dashing in either.”
Stede frowns. “Well I know that . I just wanted to know which one would better suit the vibe.”
“Why don’t you wear the purple one?” Ed suggests, because he knows that’s what Stede is waiting for.
Sure, Stede will steal Ed’s clothes sometimes, but he usually likes to get the go ahead from Ed first and Ed likes to see the way his face lights up when he tells him he should. The truth is that Ed likes Stede in his clothes - well, Ed likes Stede in anything (or nothing at all), but it makes Ed feel all warm and fuzzy inside to see the way Stede gravitates towards wearing Ed’s clothes when he wants to feel particularly cosy.
Stede puts on the sweater and struts around the house like a very proud male peacock while they finish getting ready to go. When Ed pulls him in for a light kiss and tells him he ‘ looks very handsome ,’ Stede struts even harder and puffs out his chest (a task which is near impossible in the sweater, as Ed is narrower than Stede the fabric is straining as it is).
In the car, Ed rests his hand on Stede’s thigh while he drives and puts on the classical music station (Stede’s favourite). Stede happily taps along to the percussion with his boot.
“Here we go, first stop of the day,” Ed announces as they pull into the parking lot in front of the nicest spa in town.
Stede visits it on a fairly regular basis. Ed has bought him a massage membership for Christmas for the last three years running, because Stede carries all of his tension in his shoulders and Ed can only handle being asked ‘Right there, you’ve almost got it. Just a little longer?’ so many times before his hands start to cramp. So, he outsourced Stede’s chronic muscle tension to the professionals.
“Are you coming with me?” Stede asks, looking at Ed in surprise.
“Yep.” Ed nods. “Sure am, mate. Booked us for a couples massage.”
“Oh.” Stede’s eyes go wide. “Wow.”
As a general rule, Ed doesn’t really like the idea of a stranger with greasy hands touching him, but he wants to spend the day with Stede and it’s not the same if he just sits in the waiting room while Stede goes in alone. Besides, for Stede Ed will try almost anything once.
The massage isn’t… terrible. Ed doesn’t dislike it nearly as much as he thought he would. The room is warm and smells like lavender and eucalyptus, with gentle ambient sounds, like chimes and running water, being played from a speaker somewhere. Their massage therapists are friendly. Both seem to be familiar with Stede and greet him and Ed warmly, but when the massage starts there’s minimal talking.
Once Ed gets past the initial weirdness of the whole stranger with greasy hands touching his back thing, he manages to relax enough to enjoy it at least minimally.
Stede, on the other hand, takes no time at all to adjust, obviously very well versed in how these things usually go. He practically melts into the table beside Ed and releases a string of noises that Ed has never heard him utter in a public setting. Thankfully, after the first couple minutes, the majority of Stede’s very vocal enjoyment dies away, which is a mercy for Ed, because if it had continued he would have had exactly zero chance of relaxing.
Ed closes his eyes and tries to absorb the experience as much as possible. He’s not very good at things like this, because he has the kind of brain that doesn’t shut up, so he ends up spending the majority of the session thinking. He wonders what he should make for dinner and whose job it is to record the running water sounds for spas and how you get into that line of work. He thinks about how his husband is naked and oiled up beside him - oh, no, better not think about that one - back to what to make for supper, spaghetti maybe…
Honestly, who the fuck gets into recording water sounds? Is that like a job? Are there people who just record sound effects for a living? Ed could probably do that, he could do most anything if he wanted to, at least that’s the mindset he goes into most things with, except that he wouldn’t want to be a sound effect collector or recorder or whatever they’re called because he’d get excruciatingly bored, unless he was recording whale sounds, in which case he could get behind that. Stede would love that, recording whale sounds.
By the end of the half hour, Ed is planning to ask Stede if he’d like to move to the ocean together to become professional whale sound recorders, collectors, whatever.
“What do you think about quitting your job?” Ed asks, when they’ve been left alone after the massage to change back into their clothes.
“What?” Stede asks, clearly startled. His eyes go wide and Ed watches in real time as his muscles tense up all over again. Shit.
Ed had meant it as a joke, but without the context of his whole whale-centric thought process, Stede probably wouldn’t have picked up on that.
“Shit, no I didn’t mean- sorry I was thinking about whales,” Ed rushes to explain and Stede’s face contorts in a look of utter bewilderment.
“What?” he repeats.
“I wasn’t being serious!” Ed assures him. “I was thinking about the water sound effects and if it’s someone’s job to record them and then I thought about recording whale sound effects so I was gonna say we should go run away to become whale sound recorders.”
Stede, to his credit, and probably thanks to over a quarter of his life spent with Ed, follows his train of thought easily and his face relaxes. “Oh,” Stede huffs a relieved little laugh. “Yes, of course I’d like to run away to sea and record whale sounds with you.”
Ed smiles. “Good, we’ll leave first thing tomorrow.”
“Wonderful, I look forward to it.” Stede’s eyes sparkle and he grins at Ed, easy and carefree, all the tension easing right out of him again.
Ed has also booked them manicures - another one of Stede’s regular, Ed mandated, stress-relieving activities. Why buy a membership just for the messages when you could get one for manicures too? (At least that’s what the sales associate had asked Ed four years ago, and he couldn’t come up with any reason to the contrary, so he’d just agreed and stuck with the same package deal ever since).
Stede doesn’t usually get colour on his nails. He’s made a few exceptions, like the times he’s brought Alma and Louis with him (usually he gets one hand to match whatever colour Alma chose and one hand to match whatever colour Louis chose). Ed usually just does his own nails at home in plain black nail polish when he has time (sometimes he branches out when Alma asks to do them for him), but he’s never got a proper manicure.
Once again, Ed is weirded out by the whole strangers touching him thing. Which Stede says is ironic considering all the tattoos he has, but Ed argues that he doesn’t have any problem with needles touching him but someone’s hands are a whole different matter.
Today is one of Stede’s exception days apparently, because he chooses a light shade of teal that shimmers when the light catches it. Ed, of course, gets the same and Stede exclaims excitedly multiple times “ Look we match!”, which their nail artist seems vaguely exasperated by but Ed finds very endearing. He can’t remember the last time he saw Stede so happy.
After their appointment is over, Ed drives them a few blocks over to pick up sandwiches for lunch from one of Stede’s favourite restaurants. They take them to the park and sit on a bench near the creek to eat.
Ed eats his sandwich one-handed, as Stede hasn’t let go of his other hand since they left the spa. He keeps intermittently looking down at their intertwined fingers and smiling to himself whenever he catches sight of their matching nails, so there’s no way that Ed is going to let go.
They chat easily over their meal, but once the food is gone Stede is quieter. Ed doesn’t mind, he’s just as happy to sit in silence with Stede and let the world go by.
It’s a warm day in late spring and there are birds chirping. In fact, Stede’s silence is probably partially due to the fact that he’s listening to the birds, trying to pick out the songs and calls to figure out what species they are and if any new migrants have arrived.
Ed leans back against the bench and tilts his head up to the sky, looking at the branches above their heads that are beginning to unfurl the very first leaves of the season.
“I have thought about it, you know,” Stede says softly, breaking the silence between them. Ed sits up properly and looks at him.
“About what?” Ed asks, trying to recall the last topic they left off on.
“About quitting my job,” Stede answers quietly. He looks down at their joined hands and starts rubbing his thumb along the side of Ed’s hand.
“Oh.” Ed lets out a slow breath. “Yeah?”
Stede nods but doesn’t look up.
“Sometimes I think I’d like to,” he confesses and his voice is so faint that Ed struggles to hear it over all the sounds around them. “I mean, It’s not really feasible right now, I know that,” Stede adds dismissively.
“Stede,” Ed begins slowly. He thinks back to the conversation they had only a couple of months prior, after Stede got back from a particularly stressful business trip. Ed had told him then what he’s about to reiterate to him now. “You know I’ll support you if that’s what you decide to do, right?”
Stede squeezes his hand. “I know, darling.” He looks up and gives Ed a sad, wistful sort of smile. “It’s just not the right time. Father will be retiring soon and the company will be switching hands to me and, well…” Stede trails off and his shoulders slump. “Maybe in a few years, once things are more secure, I can just look at selling the whole bloody thing and making it someone else’s problem.” Stede laughs but he doesn’t sound amused.
Whatever thoughts Ed may have about that, about Ned Bonnet’s ‘plans to retire really soon’ that have lasted for the better part of ten years (which, in Ed’s opinion, are just an excuse to saddle Stede with as much work as possible), he won't voice them. He’s trying to relax Stede today and they’ve never had a single conversation about Stede’s father that could be categorised as anything close to relaxing for either of them.
“Well, you know if you ever do, I’ve got your back,” Ed says earnestly, squeezing Stede’a hand.
“I do,” Stede says with conviction. “I know I can always count on you.”
“Hey.” Ed reaches over with his free hand to pat Stede’s knee after a beat. “You want to go to the bookstore?”
Stede is successfully diverted by that and positively glows. “Why would you even have to ask me that?”
Ed laughs and helps Stede up from the bench. “Yeah, well, don’t get too excited, I’m limiting you to what you can carry with your own two hands this time. I’m not gonna be hauling a stack of books around while you browse.”
Stede makes a little pouty face and Ed knows that the second he pulls that face in the store and inevitably asks Ed to ‘Just hang onto this one while I look?’ he will immediately cave.
As predicted, an hour later, Ed has become a human bookshelf. He dutifully follows Stede around the lower level of the shop while he peruses the used book selection.
“Mate, we live in Canada, what could you possibly need this nature guide for?” Ed asks as Stede adds A Guide to the Moths and Butterflies of South America to the top of the stack in Ed’s arms.
“Well, all the more reason to learn about them if I’ll never see them in real life!” Stede argues. “Besides, the pictures are very beautiful.”
Ed can't possibly disagree with that. What kind of monster would he be if he stopped his husband from looking at pretty pictures of butterflies?
By the time Ed successfully ushers Stede out of the bookstore, it’s well into the mid-afternoon. There’s less than an hour before the kids need to be picked up, so they opt to drive straight to the school.
Ed parks across the street from the school and Stede looks through all of his new books while they wait; pointing out pictures to Ed, or reading him little snippets of text, or telling him facts about the authors. Ed half listens and half stares lovingly at Stede and watches the one stray curl on his forehead bounce around while he talks animatedly.
“You know,” Stede remarks as he looks intently at a star chart in Constellations of the Northern Hemisphere. “I think in some other life I would have been an astronomer.”
Back in university, Stede had taken some courses in planetary science in addition to the business degree that his father had insisted on him taking. Ed can still remember the way Stede’s eyes would go bright as he excitedly told Ed about what he learned.
“And you would’ve been a fuckin’ great one too,” Ed tells him.
Stede looks up from his book and smiles at Ed. “Yes, well, I’m very glad I took the path in life that I did.”
“Yeah, me too,” Ed agrees.
Stede leans across the console to press a light kiss to Ed’s cheek, but Ed can’t help wishing that Stede could have both.
“And you never know,” Ed says, shifting the car into drive to join the pick-up line. “You’ve still got lots of this life left.”
“Oh what? You think I’m going to become a scientist after 40?” Stede laughs.
“Hey, you’re not 40 yet,” Ed reminds him.
“Oh of course, my mistake,” Stede replies sarcastically. “I’ll just get a PhD in the next four months, shall I?”
Ed laughs and rolls his eyes. “Well no, I’m just saying your life isn’t over. You’ve still got plenty of time to do new shit.”
“Hmm,” Stede hums in consideration. “I’ll pencil in a midlife crisis on the calendar for when I’m 50, how about that?”
“Sounds good,” Ed agrees lightly. “I’ll have mine then too.”
“Lovely,” Stede says. “Maybe we’ll run off to sea and live with the whales after all.”
Before Ed can say something monumentally sappy like ‘I’d go anywhere with you,’ the back door is being opened and Alma and Louis scramble into the car.
“Hi!” they chorus in unison.
“Hey,” Ed says while Stede gets out of the car to help Louis with his seatbelt. “How was your day?”
“Good,” Alma replies in a bored voice at the same time that Louis shouts excitedly, “I got to colour a dinosaur!”
“Wow, cool.”
“Yeah and I made it for you,” Louis says, shoving the paper clutched in his hand at Stede.
“For me?” Stede asks in surprise, accepting the colouring sheet with the utmost care.
“Yup! It’s your favourite colour and everything,” Louis tells him.
Stede unfolds the paper once he gets back into the front seat. “Thank you sweetheart, this is lovely.”
Ed glances over to see a t-rex decorated with blue scribbles and Louis’ big blocky printed letters saying ‘to: dad’. Stede is smiling down at it like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“You’re getting better at colouring in the lines,” Stede remarks, sounding impressed.
“I know!” Louis replies, obviously proud of himself.
Alma makes a frustrated noise, that obviously indicates she is not impressed by Louis’ new skill, but, to Ed’s relief, doesn't take after Stede and make a petty remark about it.
“How about you Al, what did you get up to today?” Ed asks, before any jealousy can arise.
“Nothing.” Alma shrugs and leans her head against the window. “It’s all boring.”
Stede frowns. “I’m sure it can’t all be boring, darling.”
“Well it is,” Alma replies glumly.
She’s getting to the age where she is not easily impressed by most things and Ed and Stede are both a little apprehensive about what the pre-teen years will bring.
“I’m sorry,” Stede says sympathetically. “Maybe tomorrow will be more exciting.”
Alma sighs, but then sits up straight as she catches sight of Stede’s hand as he reaches across to set it on Ed’s leg. “Hey! Did you get your nails done?”
“Oh! Yes,” Stede removes his hand from Ed’s knee to show off his nails to Alma.
“Wow, I like that colour,” Alma says, sounding noticeably more cheerful. “It’s very pretty.”
“Thank you, dear.” Stede smiles.
“Did you get your nails done too, Teddy?”
“Yeah.” Ed briefly removes one hand from the steering wheel to hold it up for Alma to see their matching nails. Through the rearview mirror, Ed sees her glance down at her own nails.
“Want me to paint yours too when we get home?” Ed offers. Alma immediately brightens.
“Yeah!”
“Me too?” Louis asks eagerly.
“Sure, mate.”
After a quick pit stop at the drugstore to find nail polish as close to the colour that Ed and Stede got as possible (because they all agree they need to match), they arrive home.
Ed sits on the sidewalk with Alma and Louis and paints their nails, while Stede goes inside to finally assemble the cake they abandoned the night before.
Ed is only half way through Alma’s first hand when Stede comes to join them and Louis climbs into his lap.
“Dad, are you feeling bad still?” Louis asks, giving Stede a concerned look.
Stede shoots Ed a look over Louis’ head. “I’m not feeling bad, darling,” Stede reassures him.
Louis turns his head to look questioningly at Ed. “But Teddy said you were and that’s why you had to stay home.”
“Ah.” Stede’s face relaxes in understanding. “Well, yes, I was, that’s why I stayed home. But I’m feeling better now.”
“Okay.” Louis takes Stede’s reply at face value, but Alma pushes.
“Why are you worried, dad?” she asks, looking away from where Ed is dutifully painting her nails, to stare intently at Stede.
“Yeah dad, why are you worried?” Louis repeats, twisting around in Stede’s lap to look at him too.
“Well…” Stede hesitates and Ed can see him running over the words in his mind and overthinking from here.
“You know how grown ups have to have jobs?” Ed cuts in smoothly.
Alma looks back at him. “Yeah.”
“Well,” Ed says. “Sometimes those jobs can get really busy and when there’s too much to do it’s easy to get a bit stressed.”
“Oh.” Louis frowns considering that for a moment.
“Yes,” Stede agrees, shooting Ed a grateful look. “That’s why I had to take the day off, so that I could have a little break.”
“Sometimes I have a lot of work to do at school,” Alma says. “That stresses me out.”
“Yes, it’s just like that.” Stede nods. “But usually your teachers spread out your assignments for you, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I don’t have anyone to do that for me. I just have to get everything done and it’s up to me to make it happen. Sometimes that can get pretty overwhelming,” Stede explains. Ed looks over and smiles encouragingly. He’d like to reach out and squeeze Stede’s hand, but he’s still occupied with meticulously brushing the colour onto Alma’s nails.
“Dad,” says Alma seriously. “I don’t think that sounds very good for you.”
Stede’s lips part in a small, surprised breath.
“Me either,” Louis chimes in.
“Can’t you ask anybody to help you?” Alma asks.
“I- um.” Stede swallows. “Not really,” he mutters.
Ed, once again, inserts himself into the conversation. “But we can always help dad out when he’s at home.”
“We can?” Louis says, looking up at Stede expectantly.
“How?” Alma asks.
“Oh my darlings.” Stede smiles softly at their children. “You help just by existing. Spending time with you always makes me feel better.”
“Me too!” Louis says, wrapping his arms tightly around Stede’s neck. Ed can see the way Stede’s eyes are shining with unshed tears in the afternoon light as he rests his chin on Louis’ head and hugs him back.
“Dad?” Alma scoots over to sit by Stede once Ed has finished painting her nails and Louis relocates to Ed’s lap to have his nails done.
“Yes?” Stede wraps an arm around Alma’s shoulders and she leans into his side.
“You help me feel better when I’m stressed,” Alma tells him and Stede’s expression softens even further.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“Like at night, I always feel better when you read to us.” Alma leans her head against Stede’s shoulder and Stede drops a kiss to the crown of her head. “I love you, dad,” Alma whispers.
“Me too!” Louis shouts enthusiastically.
“And me,” Ed adds, smiling over Louis’ head at Stede and Alma.
“You make all of our lives better just by existing too,” Alma says, twisting around to wrap her arms around Stede’s middle.
“Thank you,” Stede says, lightly patting Alma’s back. “I love you all too.”
Only Ed notices the way Stede adjusts his glasses in an attempt to disguise the fact that he’s wiping his eyes.
-
When they make it back inside, the cake is sitting in the middle of the kitchen table.
“Can we eat cake now?” Louis asks, jumping up and down excitedly.
“Not until after dinner,” Stede reminds him firmly.
“Why can’t we just eat cake for dinner?” Alma asks, raising a defiant eyebrow and setting her hands on her hips.
“Yeah,” Ed echoes, mimicking his daughter and putting his hands on his hips and raising his eyebrows at Stede. “Why can’t we?”
Stede lands him with a look of utter betrayal. “I- well I mean-“ he splutters. But before he can go too red in the face, Ed takes pity on him.
“What if I cut up some veggies too?” Ed offers quickly, patting Stede on the shoulder before going to take a cutting board out.
“Well…” Stede hesitates, looking between Alma and Louis who are watching him with expectant, pleading expressions.
“ Pleeeeaasee ,” both of them whine in frankly unsettling unison. Absolute menaces those two, they have the begging until they get their way down to an exact science and Ed knows Stede doesn’t stand a chance.
Stede casts Ed one final look, before letting out a resigned sigh. “Fine,” he agrees, just like Ed knew he would. “But everyone has to eat their veggies and at least one cheese stick before we eat cake.”
This is met with a round of enthusiastic agreement from Ed, Alma, and Louis. And when they actually sit down to eat, Stede begrudgingly agrees that cake for dinner was the right call.
After dinner, when the kitchen is cleaned up, Stede curls up beside Ed on the couch to watch more Bake Off and bitch about everything the contestants are doing wrong. Alma does her homework at the kitchen table and Louis joins Ed and Stede on the couch, but gets bored less than ten minutes into the first episode, and occupies himself with trying to get Kraken to play with him. She does not oblige and stays resolutely loafed on her cat tree, watchings Louis’ several attempts to coax her down with various cat toys with an unimpressed glare.
While Stede reads the kids their bedtime story, Ed pours a bubble bath and lights a couple of Stede’s favourite calming candles (chamomile and sage), as opposed to his collection of seasonal candles, or, Ed’s personal favourite, dessert scented candles. He also gets one of Stede’s several books from his ‘currently reading’ pile from their bedside table and sets it beside the tub.
“Did you draw me a bath?”
Ed turns to see Stede standing in the doorway to the bathroom, looking a little like he might be on the verge of crying again.
“Oh, yeah.” Ed stands up and goes over to him, setting a hand on his shoulder. “That okay?”
Stede nods wordlessly and Ed watches a tear escape and trail down his cheek.
“Aw, sweetheart, come here.” Ed pulls Stede into his arms and he tucks his face into the crook of Ed’s neck with a little hiccup. “You’re alright, love.” Ed gives him a tight squeeze and he can feel the way Stede’s trembling faintly against his front. Ed slowly rubs his back and sways a little where they stand, rocking Stede gently back and forth.
“You okay?” Ed checks after a minute, when the sound of Stede’s snuffling near his ear has subsided.
“Yeah,” Stede says a little shakily, pulling away to look at Ed with wide, damp eyes.
“You wanna have your bath?” Ed suggests and Stede nods again, still looking a tad overwhelmed.
Ed carefully undresses him and helps him into the bath. When Stede is settled, Ed drops a kiss to his forehead and stands to go, but he reaches out and catches Ed by the wrist.
“Aren’t- aren’t you staying?”
“Is that what you want?” Ed asks with a pointed eyebrow raise.
“Well…”
“Stede, it’s fine. I’ve spent the whole day with you, I know you need some time alone to properly decompress, it’s all good,” Ed reassures him. “I’m just gonna be in the next room.”
Stede releases a little grateful sigh. He squeezes Ed’s wrist. “Thank you.”
“Course,” Ed smiles at him. “Just let me know if you need anything, just gonna be sitting in bed.”
Ed leaves the door to the bathroom partially ajar, so he can hear if Stede talks to him, and settles into bed to attempt to read one of his own books (the latest Star Wars novel). He’s only just relaxed against his pillows and opened up to his marked page when he hears Stede softly call his name.
“Hey.” Ed pokes his head around the door. “Everything okay?”
Stede hesitates and Ed waits patently.
“Do you, er- would you mind sitting in here?” Stede asks a little tentatively.
“Alright,” Ed agrees slowly, walking over to the edge of the bathtub.
“We don’t, uh, we don’t have to talk I just…” Stede trails off, a little frown creasing his forehead.
“Just need me to sit with you?” Ed offers.
Stede nods.
“Alright, love. I’ll sit with you, just let me go grab my book.”
Ed retrieves his book and returns to sit at Stede’s side. He leans against the edge of the bathtub and holds his book open with one hand while he absently strokes his fingers through Stede’s hair with the other. Asides from the small content noises Stede makes over Ed petting his hair and the slight sounds of surprise or interest he makes at his book as he reads, they pass the time in silence.
“Ready for bed?” Ed asks when the steam in the bathroom is starting to subside and the bubbles are beginning to fade.
“Alright,” Stede says a little reluctantly, which makes Ed pause. Usually Stede is eager to go to bed, especially on the rare occasions when their schedules line up and allow them to go to bed together.
“Anything the matter?” Ed asks softly.
“I just…” Stede frowns and then shrugs. “No.”
“ Stede.”
“Once we go to bed it just means the day is over and then it’s back to normal,” Stede says dejectedly, looking down at the disappearing bubbles in the tub.
“Ah.” There’s a little twinge in Ed’s chest as he understands Stede’s reluctance. “How about you take tomorrow off too?”
Stede shakes his head. “I can’t. I’m already terribly behind. I shouldn’t have even taken today, Edward.”
“Hey, woah.” Ed sets down his book and looks over at Stede. “You needed to take the day. It was important, you know that, don’t go beating yourself up about it.”
Stede releases a sigh. “You’re right, I know. I’ve just-“ Stede cuts himself off and scrubs a tired hand over his face.
“Stede,” Ed begins slowly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to of course, this is just a suggestion. I know it’s been a while for you, but have you thought about going to see someone?”
“What?” Stede looks a little taken aback. “You mean like a therapist?”
“Yeah,” Ed says quietly.
It’s been a while since either of them have been. They both went pretty regularly in the months leading up to Alma being born and throughout the kids’ first couple years. Ed still goes sometimes, once every couple of months or whenever he feels he needs a little bit of extra support with his mental health, but it’s been quite a while for Stede.
“I- I don't know… maybe?” Stede sighs again, tilts his head to one side, making Ed’s hand slide out of his hair. Ed cups his cheek instead and Stede presses a light, thoughtful kiss to his wrist.
“I think- I mean, probably should, I’m just….” Stede trails off and swallows. “To be honest, Ed?” Stede looks up at him a little nervously.
“Hm?” Ed strokes his thumb along Stede’s cheek.
“I’m scared.” Stede’s voice is barely above a whisper.
“Oh, love,” Ed breathes.
“If I start I don’t- I don’t know what’s going to come out. I’ve been trying to keep everything about…” Stede lowers his gaze again and his voice goes so soft Ed can barely hear it, when he
continues, “Everything about my father and work, locked away for so long that I don’t know where to start. And I just- it seems a bit much.” Stede looks up at him again a little imploringly.
Ed hums sympathetically, drops his hand onto Stede's shoulder and gives it a little squeeze. “Maybe it’s time to find out though, yeah?”
Stede nods again. “Maybe.”
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But it’s only gonna get worse if you keep trying to push it away,” Ed says, lifting his hand to Stede’s face again and gently trying to smooth out the worry-lines creasing it. “And I wish this was something I could help with. I wish it was something I could make better for you, but it’s not. I can do shit with you, try to help you relax, like today. But that’s just a bandaid Stede, it’s not a solution. It’s not gonna make you feel better for the long run. And you deserve a solution.”
Stede’s eyes are glistening with unshed tears again and he nuzzles into the side of Ed’s hand. “Maybe you’re right.”
“You deserve to be happy,” Ed tells him. He leans forward and presses a kiss to Stede’s forehead.
“Thank you.”
“Hey,” Ed pulls away. “You don’t need to thank me. I just care about you, okay? I want you to be healthy and happy and that’s the bare fucking minimum. Not something I need to be thanked about.”
“Oh,” Stede breathes. “Right, well, I’d still like to thank you anyway. I appreciate how much you care, it means a lot to me.”
“It’s my job, as your husband. It’s what I signed up for,” Ed tells him earnestly.
“Yes, well, as your husband I signed up for being able to thank you for whatever I bloody well please,” Stede retorts. “Now let me kiss you properly.”
And Ed, of course, does. In fact, he lets himself be properly kissed several times. Stede keeps insisting on it every couple minutes as they get ready for bed.
Stede has apparently deemed kissing Ed to be his top priority this evening, because he stops Ed in the middle of braiding his hair and kisses him soundly, he actually takes a break in the middle of his skincare routine and pulls Ed in for another, Stede even pauses mid tooth brushing to leave an extremely foamy kiss on Ed’s cheek, which he’s pretty disgusted about as he wipes it off, but blushes over nonetheless.
In bed, Stede cuddles up to Ed, holding him tight, with his arms securely wrapped around his chest.
“I love you,” Ed says, indulging Stede in another ‘proper kiss.’
“I love you more,” Stede whispers back.
As a rule Ed and Stede have banned the ‘I love you more/I love you most’ game because they simply get too competitive over it. But tonight Ed decides he can let Stede win.