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The Buggy pirates surrounded them. The head clown himself was staring at her expectantly, she still held the matches in her hand. In the background the voices were urging her onward. They were all encouraging her to light the cannon and blow the straw hat wearing boy to kingdom come. Her mind raced with thoughts- should she light it? If she didn't, she'd surely die. But then, wouldn't she be just as bad as the pirates themselves if she allowed this boy to be killed?
As for the weirdo himself, he was sitting calmly, tied up and caged in front of her. Not even having the decency to look nervous that she might actually go through with it.
He didn't seem at all concerned for his own well-being even though he had just seen for himself the destructive force of one of those Buggy Balls. For some reason she couldn't take her eyes off him. She only watched as Luffy tilted his head forward so that the old straw hat covered his eyes from view.
"You think you can be a pirate with this half-assed determination?" A smirk suddenly appeared under the brim of his hat and she had the idea he was almost scolding her. Her own frown deepened as she glared heatedly at the boy in the cage. She wasn't about to be lectured by some brainless pirate.
"What determination is that?" She growled lowly. "To go out and carelessly kill innocent villagers? To loot and destroy people's homes?"
Luffy shot his head up, the determined smirk never faltering on his face. "No." In his voice and his eyes there was a tone that said he wouldn't regret dying here. No matter what happened. "It's the determination to put your life on the line!"
There was finally quiet around them both. Luffy's declaration having silenced Buggy's crew, but it didn't last long. The clown captain snickered before bursting out into raucous laughter, his henchmen following suit. In the uproar only one noticed that she hadn't started laughing or even cracked a smile at his ridiculous words.
And he was waiting for her answer.
She couldn't answer him.
Not with what she really wanted to say, that would be giving away too much. Something thumped painfully in her chest, and all she could do was stare unbelievingly at Luffy, she inwardly cringed at the familiar look in his eyes. Her legs shook and she had to fight the urge to fall to her knees.
'He doesn't even hesitate. He risks his life so easily?' The alarm bells were going off, and loudly, in her head. There was something about this guy she couldn't quite put her finger on, but it was a dangerously reckless feeling. 'I shouldn't get involved with this guy. But, I can't leave him in this situation.'
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by one of Buggy's impatient men. She had been staring at Luffy the whole time, almost in another world, with just the two of them. Without her noticing, the bloodthirsty circus act had all calmed down from their laughing fit, and had resumed the chants for the huge cannon to be lit. The ugly clown dressed man struck the match, and seconds away from the fuse, she made her decision.
XxXx
The sun was already low in the sky as Buggy's small stolen boat and the one the two boys were riding in continued on with their smooth sailing. The village and the mayor were left far behind hours ago. Even though it was still early the two young men who claimed to be pirates were conked out on their own boat. It was the smaller of the two with a plain white sail and no shelter from the elements. The one Nami had taken was a bit bigger with a small cabin and also had a black sail with Buggy's pirate mark on it.
Now that everything was calmed down and the others were sleeping peacefully, for the moment, Nami had taken this time to try and sort through her thoughts. So much had happened in the span of only a few hours.
She found the stolen map of the Grand Line and had successfully stolen it from Buggy. In the process of her escaping, the rubber idiot came crashing down right in front of her. She had turned him and the map back over to Buggy. Only to nearly get herself killed trying to get both back safely. The feared demon, pirate hunter, Zoro showed up and saved her just in time. She had discovered that Luffy wasn't anything like a pirate should be. And, to top it all off, she had momentarily lost her mind and joined up with the two hopeless idiots.
Leaning over the side, between her boat and Luffy's, Nami trailed her hands in the cool water. In the rush of following Luffy and Zoro away from the tavern roof, finding Buggy's treasure stash, and then helping Luffy beat the loud-mouthed clown. Her own small injuries didn't seem that important. Now that it was all over though, her hands were starting to hurt again, the burns stinging painfully in the cool evening air.
She looked up as one of her two traveling companions mumbled something unintelligible in their sleep. The rubber boy and swordsman were both still snoring away. Nami's gaze shifted upwards to the quickly darkening skies, after watching the darkness creep up on them for a while, then she then looked down to where her injured hands were submerged in the cool water and let out a deep sigh.
'To put your life on the line. That's what he said.' Nami flickered her troubled brown eyes over to the snoozing straw hat boy. 'If only… If I could just finish this. My life would be my own and I'd gladly put it on the line.'
Memories flashed, unbidden, across her mind. Nami's eyes closed to the images, not wanting to see them, but knowing they were too deeply ingrained to be ignored. She felt the hunger pangs of going long hours, sometimes days, without food because Arlong wouldn't give her any if she didn't finish his maps. The pain of her skin being rubbed raw against her pen as it scratched out the lines of endless islands on paper. The feel and sight of her own blood pouring from wounds, too many to number, across her body as she limped down some deserted street with a small bag of gold on her back.
'How many times have I thought it would be better… easier… to just die? Today only adds to the list.' Nami swirled her fingers in the water and remembered only mere hours before. The sizzle of a lit cannon fuse and a time when all other dangers were forgotten. 'I thought I was really gonna die this time. That I would be able to end everything, as easily as that.' Nami pulled her hands out of the water, the coolness was definitely helping, already the burning sting was reduced.
She stared blankly at the dark burn marks still there. Water dripped from her fingers back into the ocean below and Nami only watched the drops slide their way down her hands. 'But, I can't die. I'm not allowed to be weak, and run away, even though there's nothing more I'd rather do.'
Suddenly a voice spoke up as clearly as if someone had whispered into her ear. "As long as you continue to live, everything will turn out alright."
Nami jerked around even though she knew that the words would have no body attached to them. The warm smile and loving eyes that would so often accompany that voice were no longer part of this world. "Bellemere…" She let a small smile creep onto her face for a few moments at the memory, suddenly feeling warmth around her that hadn't been in the air a moment ago. "…Heh, it's just like you to say that now. You're right though. If I do die, if I don't return to the village, then- Ow!"
Unconsciously Nami had clenched her hands together at the thought of what could happen if, for whatever reason, she didn't return to Arlong. Her hands twitched as the stinging pain renewed from the burns on her palms. Giving up and dying just wasn't an option for her.
'I should get this taken care of before those two wake up.' Nami frowned for letting herself get lost in the sentimental thoughts of her past when she had more important matters in the present to deal with. Namely, finding a first-aid kit.
Luckily, those dumb pirates who had the boat before she had stolen it, left the medical kit stored in the cabin. She brought it outside where the full moon would provide enough light and winced as she clicked the lid open with her fingers. Nami smiled in satisfaction when she saw everything she would need to tend to burns and set to work on her left hand first.
"This is just a small thing." She murmured to herself as antiseptic was gently applied and then she dug in the box for the bandages. "I've had worse, much worse. I have to keep on living and maybe someday…" She glanced over to the two still slumbering pirates. "…I'll have the freedom those two have."
XxXx
Across the small space of water between the two boats and on the other side of the smaller one, the two guys were sleeping deeply. Or, one of them would have, if not for a sandaled foot that found its way up to his face. Zoro grunted in annoyance when Luffy's foot landed against the side of his head.
Jerking fully awake, the swordsman growled and threw the rubbery appendage off him. Still drowsy and half asleep he glanced over to the bigger boat only to find the newest addition leaning over the side, completely absorbed in the hand she had trailing in the water. 'Sheesh, she's so confusing. What is she looking at? What's so interesting about the ocean?'
"What're you doing?" Zoro asked as he nodded to the hand that Nami had trailing over the side of her boat. His voice also seemed to rouse Luffy from sleep, the young rubber boy moving to sit up slowly, actually looking more asleep than awake.
Nami had put her right hand back into the water before bandaging it because the burn there was hurting pretty badly. She didn't even notice that Zoro had woken up until he said something. Her thoughts had again traveled to her involvement with the two boys.
Zoro cocked a brow to the girl's sudden jump to his words but brushed it off. "Is it a sea king? Or maybe some fish?" He asked with smirk, grabbing one of his blades, and leaning over to look for himself. Those words definitely woke Luffy up fully.
Eyes shooting open wide and a hungry grin spreading across his face Luffy jumped to his feet. "Fish? Did you say fish? Where are they?" He looked from Zoro to Nami and back again before he seemed to get an idea and he glared at the two of them. "Hey, you're trying to catch them all for yourself, that's not fair!" He pointed accusingly at both of them.
An annoyed tick had started over Nami's eye. "You guys are both idiots! There aren't any fish. I just have a burn I'm trying to cool- Oh, I mean… it's…" She raised a hand to her mouth in surprise. She hadn't meant to blurt that out.
Zoro sat back down in his spot on the other side of the smaller boat. "Oh yeah, it's from that cannon, right? When you put out the fuse?" He asked.
Luffy made a surprised noise as he looked up at Nami. She wasn't looking at either of them. "You were hurt, Nami? You should've told me. I don't know if you don't say anything."
Nami gaped at her straw-hat wearing traveling companion for a moment, wondering if he was actually being serious, sadly he was. "When normal people do that, it will hurt, you moron! You shouldn't have to be told!"
Then Luffy looked at Nami with a wide grin. "All right then." He jumped across the space of water between Nami's boat and theirs. The orange haired girl stepped a few paces back as the rubber boy landed on the rail. "I'll bandage that hand for you." He pointed to Nami's injured right hand and the medical supplies lying nearby.
"Hey, can you really do that, Luffy?" Zoro asked with a smirk. He didn't know if Luffy really had any medical knowledge at all.
Luffy nodded determinedly. "Leave it to me."
Somehow, he came even closer into her personal space without her even noticing. His face was just inches from hers. Suddenly nervous, Nami pulled back, blushing lightly. "It's fine. I can do it myself."
He held out his hand for hers. "Let me see your hand. I can do it." Instead of waiting patiently, he grabbed her wrist, carefully avoiding her burns. "Let me help. After all, you got hurt because you saved me."
Nami's eyes widened and she stared at the boy in disbelief. How could he say something like that? 'Doesn't he even remember? It was because of me that he was even in that situation in the first place. If anything, he should be angry with me, or at least say this is my own fault. Why should he try and help me?' However, she didn't pull away or back up when Luffy started to look over her injured palm.
Zoro seemed to read her thoughts because he chuckled and spoke up from his position leaning against the side of his and Luffy's boat. "Don't worry about what happened back there, he's just an idiot, and probably doesn't even understand." He pointed to Luffy with a teasing smirk. The rubber boy, in turn, stuck his tongue out at the green haired swordsman and muttered a quick "Shut up" before going back to Nami's hand.
This time she didn't protest when he stretched his arm over to get the first-aid kit. A few minutes later and Luffy was done, he grinned happily at his handiwork. Nami could only stare at the bandages wrapped around her hand. She asked herself, again, why she let him do this.
The idiot had used the remaining bandages left in the medical supplies and as a result Nami now had 4 or 5 feet of the white strips of cloth wrapping around her right palm and even her fingers. Practically her whole hand was hidden underneath Luffy's patch up job. "Luffy, how am I supposed to use my hand now, you hopeless moron?" Nami bonked him over the head, hard, using the ball of bandaging around her hand.
"Hey, that hurt." He whined as he covered his head from any further attacks.
Zoro broke out into laughter at the younger boy. "So, you really are an idiot." He continued to chuckle as Luffy pouted at him.
Nami just shook her head and sighed. Standing up she let her eyes travel over to the black-haired boy who was rubbing the spot where she hit him. To her surprise she felt a small smile tug at her lips. The orange haired girl turned to head into the cabin on her boat, with the leftover medical supplies, when Zoro spoke up.
"Hey, you want me to try and fix that?" He offered, nodding to the hand that Luffy had worked on.
Pausing at the door, Nami looked down at the horrible job Luffy did, and shook her head. "No, it's okay." She glanced over her shoulder at the two boys, her bangs shadowing her eyes. "I'm kinda tired, so I'm going to bed. And Luffy," the rubber pirate looked up from transferring back to his and Zoro's boat and glanced up at Nami, "thank you."
Luffy watched as Nami lifted her head enough for the moonlight to catch and shine in her brown eyes and a strange feeling coursed through him. When she disappeared inside the little cabin on her boat he let a wide smile stretch across his face. Jumping across the space of water he landed beside Zoro and plopped down next to the swordsman. "Ya see, Zoro, she's a good guy. Shishishi."
The swordsman huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "You're too naïve, Luffy. Just because someone thanks you doesn't make them good. She's a thief, right? Good people don't become thieves and steal from others."
Inside the little cabin, Nami leaned against the door, her head lowered. The simple wooden walls were thin enough that she could hear every word. 'He's right. I am a thief. I only like money and tangerines. I can't get attached.' She leaned forward to push herself off the door and heard laughter from outside. Moving to the round porthole, that let the only amount of light into the room, Nami looked outside at her two traveling companions.
Luffy and Zoro were sitting and talking with each other. The swordsman was scowling and saying something and Luffy was only grinning like a fool. They were both quiet enough that she couldn't hear what was being said, and when Zoro's frown was suddenly replaced by a grin and a laugh, she couldn't help but be curious about their conversation. Switching her gaze to Luffy she again felt something thump hard in her chest. The boy had an ear-to-ear grin and didn't seem to have a care in the world.
"Those guys… Both of them are stupid and reckless and… and they can enjoy life to its fullest. Without regret." Nami whispered to the shadows in the room as she sank slowly to her knees. She was suddenly cold, and her arms came up to wrap around herself. Her right hand squeezing just a bit tighter onto her left shoulder.
Her forehead came to rest against the hard, bare, wall and she flashed back to this afternoon. Luffy had been tied up, and caged, and staring down the mouth of a cannon that would surely have been his death. "It was the same expression. The same eyes and smile. They were the same."
Nami curled into herself more as a certain memory bubbled up from where she had tried to relentlessly bury it. The memory of a battered but determined maroon haired woman, the sound of a heartlessly cold laugh, and then one single gunshot. Luffy's eyes were the same as hers had been.
"He wasn't afraid to risk his life. He was going to die and he didn't regret a single thing. He's the kind of person who wouldn't even hesitate when it comes to…" Her hand trembled over her left shoulder. The mark that branded her skin there seemed to burn as if reminding her that it wasn't all some dark nightmare. She still had to fulfill her deal with the devil. 'That's right, I can't get in too deep. I can't get involved with them. I'm only joining them for a short while. It's just to make money. I'm using them… and nothing else.'
These words ran through Nami's head along with reason after reason for not involving herself with these guys. She was trying her best to convince herself of this but wasn't sure it was working like she hoped. Suddenly from outside Luffy and Zoro could be heard again. Their voices easily reaching through the walls.
"Luffy, geez, what are you, six or something? Shut up, I'm trying to sleep over here. What are you so happy for anyway?" Zoro reached over to the rubber boy and pulled his cheek only to let it snap back, the recoil enough to send Luffy toppling over. The swordsman smirked and figured that was punishment enough for waking him up again.
Luffy fell on his back but the wide smile never left his face. Sitting up again he only rubbed his cheek where Zoro had pinched it and laughed happily. "Shishishi. Sorry, Zoro, I'm too excited to sleep. I'm just happy that we have a new nakama with us."
On the opposite boat, inside the small cabin, Nami's head shot up from its spot resting against the wall. 'What did he say?' Her eyes widened as far as they could go and for some reason she felt tears threatening to spill over. She forced them back, not really understanding herself why she wanted to cry at those words. Instead, she put her back to the wall and brought her legs up to her chest, burying her face in her knees. 'Nakama? He really doesn't get it, the idiotic fool. I told him before, that it was just business. Why does he insist on calling me that? How many times do I have to tell him for it to sink in through that thick head of his? We are only working together, not nakama.'
Her chest ached. The feeling was hot and painful… like a burn.
